but you weren't happy the day I watched you go

(Note from the Editrix: Because these are mounting, sadly, I'm going to start generally indicating when they were written, as opposed to published. This one was written on the 27th of July, from pictures taken on the 23rd.)

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
~Roald Dahl


I miss you, baby
like a shadow in the night

This pond is far too small for this snek. Flat out. Also, there's apparently a shark. This is cruelty to sealife!



every time you walk around
you know my feet don't touch the ground
when you try to take my hand
I know one day you'll understand

So there's probably things to go bang still, it's always the way. But the heavy work, the attempts to smooth the jagged edges and getting cut on the fractures, I think that's winding down. I'm still processing, but...we've either hit a plateau, so I can rest for a bit, or all the angst has run its course.



I don't want the sun to shine
because I know that you're not mine
don't want no light to shine on me
across my eyes, I don't want to see

Of course, the end result of that is, someone expects a decision on a question, and...I'm not ready yet. Or maybe I haven't made the decision yet. Or...can't live with the one that seems obvious. Not sure. Still turning the concepts, checking all the angles. Because I could be right, or very wrong here, and whichever way it goes, I want to be able to take responsibility for it.



I miss you, baby
like a shadow in the night
I wonder maybe
is it worth another fight?

It's no good reaching a decision point, then denying it five minutes later. And especially with this...as much as I hate it, as much as I tend to use swords on the Gordian knots of major life changes, this may be one time that additional time won't hurt.

Or...will hurt less in the long run. A little pain now, to spare some pain later? If possible? Yeah, might be worth taking the time.



every day you question me
about how it's gonna be
and I can't find the words to say
that it shouldn't be okay

But it's leaving me at loose ends, a bit. I think the picture runs started with a solid purpose, helping me process paired with just getting me out of standing in place at home, staring in horror at the walls. And I won't lie, it's been fascinating plugging random words into search and seeing what pops up, and going there. I've found some places I want to return to, which is better than I expected, and only a couple of them are Adult sims, so that's even more entertaining.



wish I'll wander on my own
like when I'm feeling so alone
I only want you by my side
I need your arms to hold me tight

And yet, still, I'm doing this once or twice a day, picture runs, sim runs, then opening Gimp to edit them into frames...it's all diversion, and diversion is good, but we don't need to live in this space anymore. I don't even know when these entries are going to stop, even, I have some saved until the first few days of August, so...it seems like a lot is yet to come, and that's a bit worrying.

(Especially as this is going to post after everything else, I think...)



I miss you, baby
I miss you, baby
I miss you, baby...

So what are we left with? Well, I'm no longer being haunted by lighthouses in almost every sim, that's something. I'm now finding crossroads signs. This may be the next bit of poking from the universe, and I already know the meaning, because...yeah, in a very real way, I'm there now.

And I want to go the right way. I need to go the right way. So I may be here a while...

(Pictures taken at Bedtime Story Indoctrination Camp, MYTHOS, Mythical City of Cathal, Raven's Shadow, Bourbon Street and Nevgilde Gaard. Lyrics from Jarek Laaser's I Miss You Babe, and if they're wrong, that's on me, because I couldn't find lyrics to this song on the net, so I had to transcribe them from the video.)