Sunday, July 14, 2019

when it is hopeless, I start to notice

Jesus wept.
[13:35] oxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hewo me was wondering if there any family poses hewe for me n mommy
Do you HAVE to? I've heard toddlers speak better.
[13:35] Emilly Orr: 1. You can speak like a proper human.
Was I snappish? Hell, yes. I've gotten so tired of this of late, especially as the group in question allows nudity (no actual sex, but nudity) throughout, including ground level. Which means children of her supposed age should NOT be present.
[13:35] Emilly Orr: 2. I don't know, but they may know in the update group.
I was trying to pull it back from full-on knocking the idiot down and dumping gasoline on her pointy little head.
[13:36] oxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Im a child i will speak like a child you should learn to respect peoples rp
She CAN be taught!
[13:37] Emilly Orr: Children don't speak like that. I've been around a lot of children.
[13:37] Emilly Orr: The GOOD children on SL know how to speak.
And I maintain this. Loki Eliot knows how to speak. Jimmy Branagh and the rest of the Babbage orphans know how to speak. Even Marianne McCann, as much as I still despise her for visiting Zindra the day the continent opened (again, because she's supposed to be a GODDAMN CHILD), knows how to speak. They speak like actual children. Ms. O up there speaks like a gnat-brained idiot who's been hit too many times in the head and what never had no education beyond what she could make out on the tree bark.
[13:37] Emilly Orr: I'd still recommend you join the [group for sim] (it's free) and they'd be able to better tell you if there are family poses, and/or the best PG areas.
Because I truly don't know. I know they have winter, gothic, beach, and forest areas, most with cuddle and solo furnishings and decor, and if that's not enough for the up-close shots, they have a studio in the sky that has several different styles (some adult) of photo boxen. I've enjoyed my limited time in the group, and I'm fascinated to see what they do next.

But not to the point of putting up with this moron.

I did decide to pull her profile. Her SL bio says only "*waves* I'm [initials]. I'm mommy's mini me and me lobes hers to muchs". Riiight.

THIS is the bit that kills me, though:
MY eberyting her my foreber mommy and im blessed to be her daughter
It's from her picks. Note how it starts out as lisping gibberish, then pulls into she-actually-has-a-working-brain speech? Why do SL kids do that? Even when I did lisp (due to an overgrown tongue leader), I tried to avoid sibilants as much as possible, so I had a better chance of being understood. And I was in kindergarten then.

I don't get why SL kids seem to think they need to speak like idiots to be understood. I've never met any RL child who's said "me was wondering" or gad, even worse, "hewwo do ewe kno where me mommy iz?" Because with statements like that? I'm more inclined to snap or just poof away.

Might be better to poof away, all things considered. Or just block them on first contact.

Monday, July 8, 2019

how else they gonna take you seriously

This is another strange religious freak-out, feel free to skip if that's not your thing.

So, Robert Ritchie of the America Needs Fatima group (I have a thing for Lourdes and Fátima, sue me) is freaking out again--this time because of a convention in Louisiana.

Yes. Really.
Dear Ms. [Emilly Orr],
Hi there!
"Everyone therefore that shall confess me before men, I will also confess him before my Father who is in heaven."


(Matthew 10:32)

URGENT: on August 9 – 11, the Bourbon Orleans Hotel is planning to host HexFest: A Weekend Of Witchery.
Now, from my perspective, that's fine. I've been to alternate religious festivals, both the camping-in-the-woods versions, and the booked-into-hotel versions. They're fun. I've learned a lot about forms of faith that aren't mine, and it never once challenged my own faith.
O Virgin Mother, Help Us!
Oh, calm down.
Here’s their plan, and make no mistake...this is part of a full-blown, ongoing, nationwide assault on the remnants of Christian Civilization in our dear American society.
Um, point one: Christianity is a "remnant"? I thought it was the majority religion, at least in the US. Point two: A convention in one single hotel is an "full-blown, ongoing, nationwide assault"? How so? Are you expecting the hotel to lift from its moorings and stagger around the country, infecting other hotels with eeeeevil?
  • HexFest is a gathering of "Witches, root workers, Voodoo priests and other magical teachers from within New Orleans and around the world..."
  • For the witches, its opening ritual on the riverboat Creole Queen will "align us to the energies of the work to come."
  • It "will feature an invocation of the spirits of New Orleans while the Dragon Ritual Drummers invoke the spirits with powerful percussion!"
  • "It is to honor the Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau."
Okay, none of that sounds worthy of this level of hysteria.
Last year, we organized an on-site rosary rally of reparation for this evil event. But prior commitments and activities this year make doing an on-site protest very unlikely. So I'm asking thousands of our email friends to make prayerful reparation at home. Prayer is so POWERFUL!
I bet. But let me get this straight, they did this last year, and you protested? I was on your list last year, why didn't you completely lose your mind over it then?

Also, this "rosary rally"--you mean, what, you stood outside the hotel and read the rosary loudly at the building? Okaay...
So May I Count On You To Console Our Lady
For This Weekend Of Witchery
By Making A Powerful
Act of Reparation

Yes, every time I've bolded text, that means the original email had bolded text. And yes, the original of this rote quartet (repeated ad nauseum below) was not just bolded and centered, but also in a much larger font.
It might not seem like much on our part, but when The Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Michael the Archangel present our pledges to The Blessed Trinity...well, nothing is impossible for God, Whose Spirit will be gladdened by our little effort of love for Him.
Sure, there's nothing wrong with prayer if you believe in it. And I've never turned down anyone offering to pray for me, whether they're of my faith or not. I treat it as a demonstration of care, not an offense.

But.

If what you're telling people to do, Ritchie, is to stand in front of the hotel and stage a peaceful protest while praying, great. More power to you. Have at it. Make sure you get the proper permits from the city, for anyone who does actually go to do it in person.

How'ver, if what you're actually telling people to do is send negativity and psychic bile towards this event, is that really the best use of your energy, or the people following you? If you truly believe witchcraft is that challenging to your faith (and if your faith is secure, nothing will challenge it, so...if you feel challenged, your faith is weak), then praying for their hearts to change, without animosity, seems in line with Christianity and Catholicism, right? Not praying for them to die, or for the hotel to burn down, or for their brains to explode, right? Can we agree that is anti-Christian to do?
So, if every one of us reading this email will pledge to devoutly pray this Act of Reparation To The Blessed Virgin, the Litany of The Blessed Virgin Mary, and the Short Exorcism Prayer to St. Michael, not only will we be able to "send" to God close to 100,000 devoutly said prayers of reparation...
Sounds like you're playing the lottery, here. One person praying, sure, fine. But one hundred thousand people praying, why, your adversaries will be SURE to change!

Yeah, that's not how anything works.
...I'll then send a list of our thousands of pledges to Mr. Mark Wilson, manager of the host venue Bourbon Orleans Hotel, asking him not to host HexFest. And our acts of reparation will be a powerful and real deterrent to the evil spirits sure to be summoned at 'HexFest.'
That's assuming they're summoning evil spirits. Oh wait, you do believe that, even though it's stupid.
And I'll also send them to the two organizers and hosts, Brian Cain and Christian Day. Cain "is a teacher, psychic, medium and a New Orleans Warlock." "He is a devotee of several forms of British Traditional Witchcraft and is a High Priest of the Alexandrian Tradition." Day is "a modern-day Warlock" and he is a "practitioner of the ancient arts of Witchcraft."
Okay, and?
And the "Short Exorcism Prayer to St. Michael" Yet another iteration of the urging to pray these three prayers.
FURTHER INSULT OFFERED TO GOD
The Hex Fest is being hosted at the Bourbon Orleans Hotel. Built in 1817 as the Orleans Ballroom, in 1881 the Sisters of the Holy Family, founded by Venerable Henriette Delille and two friends, and "the oldest female-led African-American Catholic order of nuns in the United States", purchased the property and for the next 83 years ran it as an orphanage, medical ward, school, and convent by, of, and especially for African-Americans.
And that's a good thing. But for some reason the Sisters sold the property off, either on their own or by edict handed down from the Roman Catholic Church (because from time to time, they do that). At that point, neither the Sisters or the church had any say in who bought the property.
Several of the rooms still bear the names of saints. For example:
  • Saint Mary Salon
  • Saint Joseph Salon
  • Saint Anne Cottage
Sounds like a lovely naming schemes. Glad the hotel kept it.

So May I Count On You To Console Our Lady
For This Weekend Of Witchery
By Making A Powerful
Act of ReparationL
And here we go again. And yep, again, all in bold.

  • Followed by Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary
  • And the "Short Exorcism Prayer to St. Michael"
A Sovereign Contempt For The Demon
The Saints and spiritual authors also encourage a sovereign contempt for the demon.

Let us hear what Saint Therese says:
"It is very often that these damned spirits come to torment me; but they inspire very little fear in me, because I know them well and they cannot even stir without God's permission… This should be well known by all: every time we show our contempt for the demons, they lose their strength and the soul acquires more predominance upon them… To see themselves despised by weaker beings is, in fact, a severe humiliation for these arrogant beings. Well, as we said before, humbly supported by God, we have the right and the obligation of showing our contempt: if God is with us, who will be against us? They can bark, but they cannot bite, unless in the cases that - by imprudence, or pride - we place ourselves in their power".
Sure, if you believe there are evil demons, great, stand against them. Go for it. But don't automatically assume that anyone who's not Catholic is evil and summoning demons.
Importantly, we must not confuse this contempt for the demon with the vain pretension that we, by ourselves, have any power over the fallen Angels.
Wait, all these urgings to pray and turn the tide of evil in lo, these fallen states, and now you say there's nothing you can do about evil in the world? What?
  • Act of Reparation To Our Lady
  • Followed by Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary
  • And the "Short Exorcism Prayer to St. Michael"
So much repetition.
"By our nature, we have no power whatsoever over them; on the contrary, by their superior nature, they are far more powerful than us. Therefore, the foundation of this healthy contempt for the infernal enemies must not be based on a rash disregard of danger.

"Rather, it must be supported by a most sincere humility and true confidence in the Creator and in the Most Holy Virgin."
Oh, right, it's not us as individuals, it's not OUR own strengths held up against evil, it's all God moving through us. I forgot that precept of the crazy, that if we do bad, it's on us, but if we do good, we had no part in it, it was just God all along.
"If these cares are taken, it is befitting to do what the great Saint Therese indicates with such propriety.

"Above all, we should make every effort to live a life of serious and sincere piety, without superstition or sentimentality. This will certainly maintain the demon at a distance, as much as that is possible."
(A Sovereign Contempt For The Demon by Luis Solimeo, from his book Angels and Demons.)
I think that's Luiz, not Luis, but I couldn't actually track the book down to verify the quote. I did track down this, however, which spells Solimeo's name the same way, and does seem to be the same passage quoted above? For what that's worth. maybe it wasn't a book, maybe it was a named essay.

So May I Count On You To Console Our Lady
For This Weekend Of Witchery
By Making A Powerful
Act of ReparationL

  • Followed by Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary
  • And the "Short Exorcism Prayer to St. Michael"
God love you!And Mary be with you.
Yeah, sure. Really, you'd be better off just brewing a cuppa, laying down with a cold cloth on your forehead, and just breathe for a week or so. Nothing is going to light on fire because you're not hyperventilating every five minutes. Let it go.

Friday, July 5, 2019

but isn’t it nice when we’re all afraid at the same time?

Was Lucrezia Borgia the calculating, greed-driven murderess history has painted her? Perhaps not.

There is a real, and very human, cost of loot boxes and gachas in triple-A games. And let's be fair, we've seen some of this with rare items offered in gachas in Second Life. Digital addictions can be just as devastating as physical ones.

And now...let's discuss Tilia.

Now, I will say this is not the first time I've heard of Tilia, because when I bought Lindens today, it said I was buying them from my Tilia account. My what? But I was busy, so I just hit "Buy" and went on with life.

From the page linked above:
"We’re making some important changes to Second Life that will help us comply with U.S. laws and regulations. To do this, Linden Lab formed a new subsidiary, Tilia, to offer certain financial services to the Second Life community. While Tilia might not be a name that is familiar to many in the Second Life community, it was created to efficiently handle the ever-growing and complex needs of our operations."
So, near as I can figure out so far, the formation of Tilia shoves financial responsibility off to this newly-formed subsidiary division, so that if anything really goes wrong, Tilia takes the hit and not Linden Lab? Am I wrong, or am I misunderstanding?

Pursuant to that mention, one of my groups started discussing a bit of the situation:
[20:46] Fxxxxx Bxxxx: does anyone see this already?
Ms. F is referring to the link given above, which I'm going to break down further as we go on.
[20:46] Ixxxxxxx Axxxx: yeah
[20:48] Cxxxxxxx Kxxxx: Goodness! they're going to ask for social security numbers!
Really? Where does it say that?
Beginning on August 1, 2019, Tilia will take over certain aspects of the Second Life service. Tilia enables Linden Lab to continue the Second Life service in its current form through enhanced regulatory compliance protocols.
"Enhanced regulatory compliance protocols" seems to mean, to me at least, "We got caught doing something hinky and we're being told not to do it again" or "Some other country has exacted better financial guidelines than the US has, and we have to comply with those whether we like them or not".

I did a search for the phrase and came up with the WhatIs definition:
"Regulatory compliance is an organization's adherence to laws, regulations, guidelines and specifications relevant to its business processes. Violations of regulatory compliance regulations often result in legal punishment including federal fines."
That still sounds obscure, but reading through the WhatIs article gives me several examples of regulatory compliance laws: the Dodd-Frank Act, which imposes far stricter guidelines for banks and financial institutions, the PCI-DSS, which is essentially a group of guidelines and laws that are used together to regulate credit and debit cards, and to secure digital privacy, HIPAA, which is supposed to ensure digital privacy for medical insurance, plus prohibits insurance and group health plans from denying health insurance based solely on pre-existing conditions, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act, turned into law in 2002, which is designed to protect investors from accounting "errors" by large financial firms, and other fraudulent financial reporting, and FISMA, which is another series of regulations and bylaws that assign data privacy protection to several governmental agencies in case of "natural or man-made threat". So, I think I'm getting the gist of what they mean--Tilia is Linden Lab's new financial arm. I think.
To achieve this, Tilia will assume responsibility for managing your USD denominated account, which will be referred to as your "Tilia Account." After August 1, Tilia will handle process credit requests and payments made from your Tilia Account.
So...we won't be registering a new account with Tilia? I'm confused.
What’s changing?

Effective August 1, in order to continue using Second Life you will have to agree to Tilia’s Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. A Tilia Account associated with your Second Life Account will automatically be created for you and you will not need a separate username or password to access your Tilia Account.
So.....Tilia's going to create individual user accounts for all of us and they will use the same password and username as Second Life? That's very dubious. At the least it's very insecure, especially considering how many laws listed above feature data protection.
In order to stay in compliance with regulatory requirements, if you wish to process a credit, we will need certain personal information to verify your identity, including your name, address, date of birth, and social security number (or government-issued identification if you are not a U.S. Citizen). You may be required to provide additional information to complete the transaction. Tilia will securely store this information so that you should only need to provide it once.
Ah, here it is. And now I can see why people are worried. Even in this country, giving unknown entities our SSI numbers is iffy, but for residents of the EU? It's actually illegal for them to give out personally identifying information.

Note, also, that this seems to apply only to people who "cash out", so to speak--in other words, mainly estate owners, businesses, nonprofit charities that need to withdraw Linden funds into local currency to complete the financial amount owed to said charities. How many of those are people living in the EU, who cannot give out such forms of identification?
Additionally, please note that customers under 18 years of age will not be able to process credit after August 1, 2019 until they reach the age of 18.
I'm actually fine with that, I'm still creeped out that the Lindens merged Teen Grid with the regular grid, and all of a suddden, I had to look at everyone through that "Is this going to get me accused of statutory rape?" lens.
As always, Second Life remains free to access and enjoy! However, if your Tilia Account is inactive for a period of 12 months we will charge your Tilia Account a fee to the extent permitted by applicable law. If you have questions about the inactivity fee, please see Tilia’s Terms of Service.
First time I'd heard mention of a fee, so I went looking. Their ToS contains some dense legalese, but I think section 3.4, "Fees", covers it:
You agree to pay the applicable fees listed on our Fee Schedule published on the Website (”Fees”) for use of the Tilia Services. All Fees are charged at the time we process a transaction and are applied to the payment method you select. We reserve the right to change our Fees upon thirty (30) days’ advance notice. By continuing to use the Tilia Service after a change in the Fees, you hereby agree to such change. All Fees, charges, and payments collected or paid through the Payment Services are denominated in US dollars.
Or...not, because they're still not saying how much the fees will be, at least in the ToS. That's irksome.

And when I went off to Google to check if the website was up yet:



...Oh.

Look, Lindens, I realize you have a theme, I realize "tilia genus" is the name of the Linden tree, ha ha, very amusing...but did you not once stop to consider other businesses running with the same name? By my count, just on the first page, there's a couple wineries, four restaurants, and a band--not to mention on the second page, there's a naturopathic clinic, more restaurants, a property management group, and a flooring company. Great.
[20:48] Fxxxxx Wxxxxxx: Linden Lab has done a *horrible* job of communicating what's going on. But if you read and understand the TOS and a bit of contract law (I'm a contract lawyer in RL) then it's not the big deal it sounds like.
Well, really, when hasn't the Lindens done a horrible job of communicating, on ANYTHING? Be real.
[20:48] Mxxx Hxxxxxxx: its going to basically be illegal to withdraw money in many countries due to LL asking for more information than even some financial institutions are allowed in some cases
[20:49] axxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Is this due to money laundering?
[20:49] Mxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: whats up with an inactivity fee?
[20:49] Ixxxxxxx Axxxx: ok then i'll stop it
[20:49] lxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yep I am confused. I already did the verify with LL's.
[20:49] Mxxxx Sxxxxxx: I thought it pertained to people who make money in here
[20:50] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: thats wrong
[20:50] kxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I don't like this inactivity fee, seriously?
I don't either. I especially don't like not being able to find even briefly sketched guidelines for what it will eventually be.
[20:50] Axxxx Nxxxxxxx: is this just for if i wish to convert L$ into USD? or is this for buying L$ also
Don't quote me, but it sounds like it's just when people are transferring Lindens into local currency? But I could easily be wrong.
[20:50] axxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Long ago, when I joined nearly 13 years ago, we had to give personal information such as our driver's license number or passport ident. That was to ensure that we are in fact of age to be in adult related sims. A few years after I joined LL got hacked or something, so they removed that requirement.
[20:50] Bxxx Hxxxxxxxx: Meh, my identity isn't doing much for me. Maybe someone else can do something exciting with my SSN. lol
[20:50] Sxxxxxxx Lxxx: there is a decent thread about it in the SL Forums, lots of questions and confusion, but a few tidbits that are helpful
[20:50] Fxxxxx Wxxxxxx: Nope.
[20:50] Pxxx Dxxxxxxxxx: maybe they trying to find out how many alts people have
[20:50] Fxxxxx Wxxxxxx: Sigh. I'm lagging so bad I give up.
[20:51] axxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: You can have alts, back in the day you had to pay $9usd to create a new account.
[20:51] Fxxxxx Wxxxxxx: I remember that [Nxxx]! I gave them my credit card number or my paypal or something so I could buy Lindens. But I never did give them my drivers license or passport. Still would have a problem with that.
[20:51] jxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Tilia is owned by Linden Lab
[20:51] Mxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: so if we dont cash out any more lindens after August will we still have top pay a fee?
[20:51] jxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wasn't there was an issue years ago with the gambling' in SL and there was money laundering going on?
Oh, there probably still is, it's just more underground than it used to be.
[20:52] kxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: this is just following the same path as crypto. The gov wants their cut of money made in sl. its income.
[20:52] axxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There was a data breach before, it was even listed on the wiki once. Where all those driver's licenses and passport idents were at risk.
[20:52] Ixxxxxxx Axxxx: as i've already said, i paid for a year of my premium membership already and wasnt asked anything
Because this is a separate system from paying premium fees. That is likely still handled by the Lab. Financial withdrawals, starting August 1st, will not be handled by the Lab, but by the functionary Tilia.
[20:52] jxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: l have a small store but I have never cashed any in. I just us the lindens inworld
[20:53] axxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Same with Skype asking for mobile now, it's voluntary now but one day it might be the gatekeeper.
[20:54] jxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: all they are doing is gathering our personal info and sharing it
Well, any large company is doing that. In that regard, LL is just doing the same thing everyone else is.
[20:54] Mxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: the tilla is for cashing out or using your lindens as a credit right?
[20:54] jxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: SL is free to play as long as you pay the yearly fee to there new company Tilia
Wait, there's a yearly fee to use Tilia? When Linden Lab is making it mandatory for all users of SL? I haven't heard that.

There's a lot that's still up in the air, apparently. I'll keep reading.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

'cause we find ourselves in the same old mess singin' drunken lullabies

Found on a random profile:
  1. dont talk to me in over a month
  2. being perverted or rude
  3. assuming you know me
  4. coming between me and Daddy
  5. pushing me to my limit
  6. messing with my friends
  7. assuming you can come between my friends family
  8. drama
  9. because you are an [a**hole] to me and those i love
  10. because you pushed something i didnt like
Now, save for the one censoring moment, the grammar and punctuation are left unchanged, but this is making my brain giggle.

Mainly because if I'm removed for not talking to people in over a month, drama, or being a general bitter angry poppet on occasion, wow, I'd have zero friends in SL.

But I agree with most of the rest--I mean, no one comes between me and those I love but those I love, and occasionally me, and I have specific criteria for perversion or rudeness, but that does describe a lot of why I react badly to certain people in general. Assuming people know who I am is a big one, and has shown up on the blog several times in conversational snippets.

What I find truly odd about this list, though, and the reason I'm mentioning it: I rarely put people who fit most of these criteria on my friends list. If other people do, well, fine, that's them, but in general, unless it's just a business contact, if someone goes on my friends list, they got there for a reason. If I'm fighting with someone all the time, or if they're insulting me as often as they breathe...they're not a friend. So they don't get on the friends list in the first place.

Meanwhile, as I'd only covered half of the SL16B shopping area (and haven't even started on the rest of the SL16B sims!), I returned today to check out the other half. And this happened:
[15:09] licks Emilly Orr's hand.
[15:11] loves oxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx.
This is so unusual, because usually there's an avatar's name before the action, or at the very least, the named thing the avatar is carrying--be it baby, beast or bottle. In this case? No idea who actually owned the thing--or was the thing.

But first off, whomever you are: don't just randomly lick people. It's creepy. Secondly, I don't care who you love, you don't need to announce it to every listener in main chat.

That did give me something to search for, which was equally baffling. Mm. O has spent one year on the grid, and in that time, they've taken no SL bio picture, have put down zero pics, have only joined one group, and this is the sum total of they FL bio entry:
───--───▄▀▄────-─▄▀▄
────-─▄█░░▀▀▀▀▀░░█▄
─▄▄──█░░░░░░░░░░░█─-─▄▄
█▄▄█─█░░▀░░┬░░▀░░█─█▄▄█
Great, the world's most boring human's friend licked me for no reason. Ew.

Monday, June 24, 2019

I'm cutting my mind off, feels like my heart is going to burst

I may be too paranoid for simple conversation.
[15:56] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lovey hair
"Lovely", I think is what you meant.
[15:56] Emilly Orr: Thank you.
[15:57] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: nice colour
[15:57] Emilly Orr: I tend to gravitate towards reds as a rule. :)
I'd gone MM board hair-hopping. This happened at Olive, which was my second to last stop: today was Little Bones, Olive, and Besom.
[15:57] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: my real life daughter has long red hair
I didn't really know what to say to that. Good for her? Good for you? It was odd.
[15:58] Emilly Orr: Oh, lovely.
[15:58] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she loves to dress up my avi
[15:58] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she is young
[15:59] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but she is fun
I'm...glad you like her, since...she's your child?
[16:00] Emilly Orr: Dressing up is part of the fun of SL
[16:00] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she likes her blue dresses
[16:02] Emilly Orr: Red hair goes very well with blue.
I'm still mostly just confused. Lady, why are you telling a stranger about your kid's color choices?
[16:03] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she would love to see you she said
What? Now it's getting weird.
[16:03] Emilly Orr smiles.
[16:03] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she is 13
[16:03] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you?
Lady, have you read my profile? If I was thirteen now, I would have been a year old when I joined SL. That's ridiculous and impossible.
[16:04] Emilly Orr: Oh, definitely not 13. Especially since 13 is not legal to have an account in SL. :)
Because...yeah, I was weirded out, I wanted to make sure this wasn't some bizarre fetish thing to gather in someone to have sex with "her 13-year-old daughter" so she could watch. I've heard similar things.
[16:04] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no she dosnt
[16:04] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: its my avi
"Doesn't". And, uh...good?
[16:04] Emilly Orr nods
[16:04] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: say hello to her
[16:05] Emilly Orr: I still think it was a bad idea that they killed Teen Grid. There, the lindens kept to international standards and it went from 13 to 17 or 18, I think.
I typed this out before she said the line above it. I was referencing Teen Grid to give her additional info that I was not underage. Then I read up and my brain fell out.
[16:05] Emilly Orr: Hello there!
Because what was I supposed to say? This was so odd.
[16:05] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you can see how she dressed me
Uh, no, lady, I can't. I'm not there. I came in, hit the Olive MM board, and left. End of story. I'm not there, okay?
[16:05] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yes they should have kept it
[16:05] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: at least she is at home
[16:07] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and safe
[16:09] Emilly Orr: Very true
But I am creeped out, lady, that you're letting your underage daughter watch over your shoulder. I mean, unless your life is 100% PG and you're just a wholly genderless mannequin, that's disturbing, right? I am occasionally uncomfortable when my fully adult partners walk in and watch over my shoulder for a while. I would never let a kid watch my daily virtual life, whether I'm in a sandbox or a bed.
[16:09] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she has a good eye for fashion lol
[16:10] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she has a black dress and blue waist
I'm still trying to figure out how to interpret this. You mean the dress? It's black with a blue belt, or something? Or do you mean her skin is mostly black, with a blue waist tattoo? Wait, she's not in SL, you said, so it has to be a dress...Right?
[16:11] Emilly Orr: That's good. She has an interest in fashion?
[16:11] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: loves it
[16:11] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she is trying on some amazing retro outfits
[16:12] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she has some baby blue heels
Lady, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME ALL THIS? Find a hobby!
[16:12] Emilly Orr: Oh, nice.
[16:12] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: courts or pumps
What are courts? My initial interpretation of 'courts' as a type of footwear are sneakers or that sort of kitten-heel low pumps that became popular in the seventeenth century, then rose to popularity again in the 1950s. I'm confused again.
[16:12] Emilly Orr: Good retro outfits were hard to find here, but a lot of mesh designers have taken to them of late.
[16:12] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: pale blue dress
[16:13] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she tries some in rl to
Lady, I don't care. Why are you telling me what your child wears?
[16:13] Emilly Orr: Nice
[16:13] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: maybe to short but she is young
[16:14] Emilly Orr: Sure, she'll grow into it
[16:14] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she enjoys wearing it
[16:14] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: with tights
[16:14] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: usually nude or light tan
OH MY GOD, woman, stop telling me about your kid's underthings!
[16:15] Emilly Orr: Makes sense
[16:15] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she said your nice
That's "you're", and how does she know? This is Nervous Polite Me talking.
[16:16] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she has a nice dress to wear if she sees you
[16:21] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: let me know
[16:21] Emilly Orr: Okay.
I'd moved to a sandbox at this point, to take some product shots for an upcoming upload session, and I really thought this would be the end of it.
[16:22] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: are you free now
What? No. In fact, not only no, but hell no. What game are you trying to play here, lady?
[16:25] Emilly Orr: Oh, I was just about to log, I had some product photos to take, and then off for dinner.
[16:25] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i would enjoy her seeing you
I...bet. You are the most disturbing mother I've come across in a long time.
[16:29] Emilly Orr smiles.
95% of the time, when I smile at someone, I'm really smiling. 5% of the time...and this definitely falls into that five percent...I'm smiling because I literally have no idea what to say. This is Basic Girl for "You're making me uneasy and I want this conversation to stop". I know that's confusing, but that's what that five percent smile means.
[16:29] Emilly Orr: Perhaps some other time. Do enjoy the rest of your day! Both of you. :)
And that was it, I thought.

I was wrong.
[16:29] fxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she is wearing something nice for you to see
Gods, no. Stay away from me.

And as that was just too strange for me, since I'd already said I had to leave, I left.

Am I reading too much into this? Do people just strike up conversations into what tights their children are wearing with random strangers? Because if so, I've never met those people, so this just unnerved me.

the night chokes tight in the nerves, can't breathe to scream

Let me introduce you to the Ayoub Sisters. You're welcome.

I did not know many of these flags existed.

Meanwhile...
[14:07] ixxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: pawpaw me bweeds kittycats
[14:07] ixxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: yous get da fwee bday kittys yets?
Have I mentioned how much I loathe the artificial, "no weally I'm wa REUW KID!" patois the bad portion of the SL kids effect? It's stupid, it's hard to read, it's insulting, and it makes no sense. I have spoken with actual three-year-olds who have better pronunciation.
[14:14] Emilly Orr blinks.
[14:14] oxxxxxxxxxx Mxxxxxx: WW I assume
[14:14] Emilly Orr: If I'm translating that correctly , there are free birthday kitties, somewhere?
I have no idea. Once I figured out Kittycats were selling virtual pets that needed to be fed, I lost all interest.
[14:15] ixxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: i sorries wongs chat
[14:15] oxxxxxxxxxx Mxxxxxx: evidently
[14:15] ixxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxxx: me no see i clicky dis one
[14:18] Emilly Orr: Well, be sure to find your way back to yours, chit. Wouldn't want you lost amongst the adults, now.
Didn't hear anything from her after that, so I suppose she found her way to the window with her "pawpaw" in it.

Did pull her profile, though. This is from her SL bio:
i is 4 yew owl i loves me daddy Mac and me mommy Kittie berry berry berry much and all me family
Gods, kill me now, civilization is over.

She has eighteen kid-oriented groups, couple clubs, and a gambling sim. Jesus. She's four years on the grid and acting like this.

The worst of it from her picks, the one apparently about her mother and sister:
My mommy Buggew fhe if ghe befg mommy in ghe whowe wide wowwd and wovef me an my baby fiffy Wop go ghe moon and back fhe wouwd do any ghing fow uf and you make u cwy you beggew wun fafg fhe wiww kiww you and my baby fiffy Wop i if hew pwogecgow i wiww bige you if you huwgf hew ghen wiww geg mommy i wove you bgh wogf and wogf
It's like she's not even trying to speak English anymore. Or she had a stroke halfway through the first sentence and can no longer word properly. What in the seven hells is wrong with this person??

Yeah, I'm done. Call me when the apocalypse happens, I'll pour a glass of wine.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

the whole thing’s a profound disappointment

This doesn't come from an SL chat, it comes from a Discord chat, so the names are different. Because it amuses me, I'm going to anonymize names not mine, and keep the emojis for names mine. I need things that make my brain giggle. Especially after this idiocy. (I'm including the whole article, in case you want to read the thing, but I only separated out some points in my response.)

We start here:
2:10 PM] Memelly : So, that article is clearly written by a straight man, I don't even have to scroll up to check the name. I KNOW it was written by a straight man just based on lines like this:
In today’s culture, sex and power are mixed together and that’s why most women fall for more powerful men, while men fantasize about being powerful and therefore irresistible. and this: The submissive is the baby girl or servant who pleases the dominant.
Truth, as I determined after--the brain-dead idiot who wrote this is a man.
[2:11 PM] Memelly : Jon Snow, you know nothing.
[2:12 PM] Memelly : Also, D/s is not always a lifestyle. It seems like he thinks BDSM is for weekenders, and D/s is the "true" way, where submissives submit 24/7 to the Perfect God Dominant.
[2:12 PM] Memelly : Gods, I hate idiots like this.
[2:12 PM] Kxxxxxxxxx: That Baby Girl one got me, as if male littles wasn't a thing.
[2:12 PM] Memelly : Right.
In the myriad styles of BDSM and D/s, one of the major paths--and obviously, one not for everyone--is named DD/l, or DD/little. When this path started, it had two forms: DD/lg (Daddy Dominant/little girl) and MD/bb (Mommy Domme/baby boy). It was soon seen that these terms were, overall, limiting. What happens when the sub is non-binary? What happens if it's Mommy Domme/little girl? What happens if it's Daddy Dominant/little boy? The terms change when they need changing.
[2:13 PM] Memelly : AND if you notice, there is NO references so far to female dominants and male submissives, like they don't exist either.
[2:13 PM] Kxxxxxxxxx: It tries, with the whole 'Dominant' thing, but it's token and feels like someone edited it in
It does. And this is not the first time this article feels like someone grabbed it after Mr. Man finished it and edited in some things quick to tone down the MRA rhetoric.
[2:14 PM] Memelly : The first thing he's said I agree with: there are many different way to express dominance and submission. Yes. That one he got right.
[2:14 PM] Kxxxxxxxxx: And the pictures~ Oh man. Every single picture is either a head-shot of a handsome guy, or sexy females in kinkgear.
Worse than that? Nearly every instance is a head or head and shoulders shot of a man in a power suit, and them women cuffed or tied generally nude. The women who aren't nude are generally in fetish gear where, in all but one case, it could be taken as a submissive woman dressing up, not a dominant woman preparing to play.
[2:14 PM] Memelly : The core of a Dom/sub relationship is the fact that the dominant takes full control of everything. NO. You are [F**CKING] WRONG about that.
[2:15 PM] Kxxxxxxxxx: This is the only male in fetishwear, and it's utterly casual, no sexualization to it
The person in question likely wasn't asked for his picture to be included in so dumb an article, so while I'm leaving the link in, I'm also including the link to Fionn Scott's Instagram as a whole.
[2:15 PM] Memelly : In some situations, yes, for a scene, for a day, for a weekend, or, with agreement, for a life, absolutely. BUT 24/7 has to be carefully negotiated unless the dominant is a multibillionaire, because most people in the real world need to work.
And maybe own their own island, or something.
[2:16 PM] Memelly : The one case I knew of where those kinds of restrictive rules were in place, and worked, WORKED because she held down a job as a normal human, and then came home and was denied clothing and was denied food unless her dominant agreed. And hey, guess what, shocker, they had BOTH negotiated that out in advance. He wanted that level of control--with consent--and she wanted to lose weight and didn't feel she had the self control.
[2:17 PM] Memelly : Note that domination involves taking and not giving so the dominant expects to be pleased in whatever way they like by the submissive. Basically, the dominant expects nothing short of obedience. ALSO [F**KING] WRONG, you moron.
[2:18 PM] Memelly : Dark gods, this is all about 24/7 compliance. Who does he think he is, Christian Grey?
[2:21 PM] Kxxxxxxxxx: I got some of that feeling too
[2:23 PM] Memelly : The summed up roles of domination include:
1. Taking responsibilities. Yes, generally, or at least keeping in mind that the submissive is a person with their own thoughts, feelings and desires, so in some sense the dominant is taking some responsibility for their emotional, mental and physical well-being. (This can include commands to do or not do specific things, as well as commands that will please the dominant but may make the submissive uncomfortable.)
2. Being in full control. Um, NO. Being in full, absolute control is for the dominants who want their submissives to be tattooed with their mark or branded or given a 'slave number'. This is NOT what everyone does.
3. Prioritizing their desires and choices. To an extent, but also, not completely true. Yes, if the submissive accepts domination, s/he keeps that dominant's desires in mind, whether they're sexual or everyday. That is part of what makes a submissive a submissive. But not to the exclusion of their own personal identity, value, external life or personhood, UNLESS that has been negotiated in advance.
4. Performing duties to their submissive partner. Yes. Aftercare is important. Negotiating is important. Checking in is important.
5. Demanding compliance and obedience. What? **ONLY IF YOU'RE IN THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP**. It's like all he thinks is a D/s relationship is utter slavery and total male power fantasy.
[2:28 PM] Memelly : tosses random things around for a bit, calming down
[2:29 PM] Kxxxxxxxxx: offers Emi some expresso chocolate.
[2:31 PM] Kxxxxxxxxx: Yeah, that was about the rant I was looking forward too. Thank you for reading and opining, Emi.
[2:33 PM] Memelly : grins
[2:33 PM] Memelly : Gods, he's dumb.
[2:34 PM] Cxxxxxx: I'm glad I'm not crazy
This was actually the lass who was given this article as "helpful advice".
[2:42 PM] Memelly : The ideal definition of a submissive partner is the one who elevates their partner’s needs above theirs. This is both yes and no. SOME dominants want this, total adoration and sublimation of the submissive's personality so that all focus is on them. (I tend to refer to these as "wannabes" or "insecure doms".) But by and large, while the submissive will elevate their dominant's wants and needs above their own, and want to please them, they also have their own needs, opinions, desires, and wants. And the partner that forgets that on either side is now in an abusive relationship.
As the submissive, you may not like the idea of being punished but it doesn’t mean you will resist it. No, obviously not. Part of the agreement for nearly all D/s relationships is admitting fault, and when one has made a mistake, accepting punishment for it. That doesn't mean ALL relationships are "You're being punished." "Yes, Master." Like, my current situation? I can ALWAYS ask why, I can ALWAYS ask what the punishment will be, and while it's on me how much I try to wiggle around it (and it's me, it's a bad trait, but I do do that), that in itself is not punishable.
You accept another human being's control over you in a variety of ways, such as complying with your dominant’s demands in bed. Sometimes, you will not give your opinions until your dominant states theirs. Wow, again, he's so wrong on some of these it hurts. Yes, the submissive accepts control on their behaviors and desires. There's a lot of ways this can function--BDSM, sceneing, there are deeper and lighter levels of control, and it can stop at the bedroom or extend into other areas. But if the submissive is in the hands of someone who doesn't care about them at all? Again, abusive relationship.
[2:42 PM] Memelly : Basically, these are the roles of the submissive:

1. Elevating the desires of the dominant above theirs That's a given. But it's not total compliance in all cases.
2. Accepting to be controlled This is also a given, but again, 'control' means different things to different people. 24/7 iron-collar types see 'control' in one sense; DD/lg or DD/lb relationships see it differently. There's a LOT of variation.
3. Expressing the desire to please the dominant Well, duh. But again, it's not total, it's not the sole and only focus.
[2:42 PM] Memelly : Wow, I'm writing a book, apparently.
Of course I kept going. Of course I did.
[2:44 PM] Memelly : First of all, there are no hard or fast rules; the partners create their own principles regarding what to comply with, what to avoid, and how to enforce the rules. Oh, you consummate, brain-dead slug. Are you kidding? You're dogmatic as to what constitutes D/s relationships for everyone, and VERY damned clear that D/s relationships are ONLY between strong male dominants and fragile female submissives, and NOW you say this? Screw you sideways with barbed wire.
[2:44 PM] Memelly : The whole D/s concept is based on a set of standards, some of which are deep-rooted in the power dynamic, and the rest are implemented as reactions to the dynamic. There are no standards. There are guidelines, and everyone is free to explore those guidelines, but there are NO dogmatic do-this-or-die rules in that sense.
[2:46 PM] Memelly : Though, I totally agree with his first "rule", but I'd expand it to any relationship. Open and honest communication is vital, whether you're in a D/s relationship, a monogamous marriage, or a polyamorous triad. You need to keep the lines of communication open, or things fail. (I know this from personal experience in several different directions.)
[2:47 PM] Memelly : Make time to discuss issues freely and learn how to read your partners signals or safe words. Hoo, boy. I agree, but again, everything he's written to this point is how the submissive has NO agency, how the submissive does everything the dominant wants and cannot say no, ever.
[2:48 PM] Memelly : The whole concept of the safeword is just that--retaining the ability to say no. And if the submissive doesn't have that, again, abusive relationship. (I'd also add that if the dominant doesn't feel up to doing something, the dominant also has the right to say no, because we are human people and sometimes we aren't up to things!)
[2:49 PM] Memelly : 2. Realistic expectations
If you are the dominant partner, always leave your submissive begging for more rather than making them wish you hadn’t gone an extra mile
If you are the dominant partner, always leave your submissive begging for more rather than making them wish you hadn’t gone an extra mile I...do not understand this.
[2:49 PM] Memelly : Like, don't push things until they just want to stop and go home? Or always leaving them in that state of orgasm denial? I mean, you're not being clear here.
[2:50 PM] Memelly : The D/s relationship requires both parties to be emotionally and physically healthy. Pffffft. You are SO full of [sh*t].
[2:51 PM] Memelly : Okay, serious talk time. Is it ideal if both partners are young, at the peak of health, well-off financially, and well-adjusted psychologically?: Sure.
[2:51 PM] Memelly : Are two random people attracted to this level of interaction with another person going to be young, healthy, well-off and a paragon of psychological health? Of course not.
[2:52 PM] Memelly : I know people who are in wheelchairs that are in D/s relationships. I know a guy with CP who is a submissive for his female dominant--every single aspect of BDSM hurts him, and they have to be very creative about how they play.
[2:53 PM] Memelly : But they still play. He's found swings very helpful, because that takes the weight off his legs, and she can do what they both want without tying him to something, which can cause other problems. So this idiot is DEAD WRONG here.
[2:55 PM] Memelly : Now, his definition of "Enjoyable Rules" also makes sense, which at this point amazes me, because he hasn't made a lot of good points. But he is right here--extreme play ALWAYS requires negotiation, and even 'average' play can also require talking things out. While I know people who engage in spontaneous scenes, their partners are generally open to whatever, and they've talked out that willingness beforehand.
[2:57 PM] Memelly : The Patience rule, specifically this part: Gentleness, subtlety, and finesse fit into the definition of the dominant. Really? Really, Mr. Men-Have-all-the-Power-and-are-Gods Dominant? I mean, yes, it's a good point, but do you really believe this is true? Because the rest of this article doesn't prove that out.
[2:58 PM] Memelly : I will say that good dominants, really secure dominants who know themselves in and out, can and do engage in this. The most knock-down, drag-out, studded-codpiece Leather Daddies I've met genuinely care for their subs. I was at a public dungeon once where a Daddy in full leather gear and motorcycle boots was whipping a young blond twink in a black leather harness as he was stretched out, cuffed to a King's Cross.
[2:59 PM] Memelly : He struck down, the blond yelped in a high-pitched tone, and that leather god dropped EVERYTHING, right* then. "Baby, you all right?" He was right* at the guy's side, stroking his hair, and you could see by the way he was nuzzling into his leather glove that they were going to last for a while. (And they did, at least for the last six years I was in Denver.)
[3:01 PM] Memelly : THAT is good domination. Light or hard, if you know your partner well enough to pick up on the difference between normal 'ow this hurts' and genuine distress, you are doing your job as a dominant, and as a caring partner in general. (And yes, it is ABSOLUTELY necessary for the submissive to be honest in those scenes, too--if something hurts more than they can handle, and they don't say anything, they can get seriously hurt. Same thing with being tied up. If something cramps, that sub needs to let the dom know. That communication thing again.)
Absolutely. The dominant must pay attention to the submissive. Full stop.
[3:04 PM] Memelly : Now, the next rule, Honesty, I'd generally put under communication, but it turns out he actually means being able to openly gauge our strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes we're attracted to people that aren't good matches for our needs, that's duh channel territory. And it's hard, and sometimes deeply painful, but we have to keep communicating. And hey, it's not always 'you're wrong for me' and gone--again, I've known people where the submissive thought it wasn't working out, and it turned out they weren't being completely honest with what they wanted. Guess what? Once they were, that relationship drastically improved.
[3:04 PM] Memelly : That doesn't always happen, but it can, and that's the point of insisting on open communication.
[3:05 PM] Memelly : 7. Humility Even if you are the most talented human being on earth, you don’t need to boast about it - no one wants to hear that. See, this is what I term the 'wannabe' camp. Or even worse, the ones that edge into the no-limits nonsense on the submissive side.< br /> [3:06 PM] Memelly : I can't even count the number of idiot guys I've come across who bark "Kneel, bitch!" at me just because I'm wearing a collar. Yeah, no, die in a fire, I say when I kneel.
[3:06 PM] Memelly : (And yeah, not all of them have been in SL.)
[3:07 PM] Memelly : The no-limits people, usually Gorean girls on SL, because this doesn't tend to happen in RL without a murder charge, scare most real dominants. Because you have to have limits. Even on SL, where nothing is "real" in the sense that you can actually feel limbs being cut off, bruises on your real face, whip scores on your back.
[3:09 PM] Memelly : This indicates to any sane dominant that they will not say no, that they will not safeword, and that is terrifying. There's a series of books by Laurell K. Hamilton that features a no-limits guy, and the second time Anita Blake meets him, he was tied to a pillar in the center of a tiled room, with nine silver swords shoved through his body (it's an urban fantasy series, for anyone who doesn't know, so yeah, he was a shapeshifter and reacted badly to silver).
[3:11 PM] Memelly : She nearly had to tear him open to remove the swords from his body, because they'd left him there long enough for his body to grow over the metal. Now obviously, this is not going to happen with mere humans, but there are still limits. Again, unless you specifically work that out in advance. Some of the German BDSM films I've seen qualify as torture porn, basically, but they had that intro beforehand or after that X agreed to everything Y was going to do. I wouldn't do it, but with agreement, sure, knock yourselves out, TO that point of getting arrested. You push past that, you deserve what you get.
[3:12 PM] Memelly : 8. Open-mindedness You have to be open-minded. It’s true that no two human beings can have similar perspectives on every aspect of life, but you don’t have to dismiss your partner’s opinions.[3:14 PM] Memelly : I admit to struggling with this one where D/s is involved, but I also know there are areas I don't need to explore, and I'm clear on that with those that want to dominate me. Some of those limits are known here, some aren't, but I'm very willing to talk about them. Now, presented in the right way, with someone I trust, yes, I might reconsider on some, but most definitely not all. If someone wants to dominate me, and has a specific desire that's on my not-even-once list, then they either need to figure out a way to work around that with me, or not do that thing. Every submissive has different limits, and different points of stop, and that's fine.
[3:15 PM] Memelly : His rule about "Authenticity" is also confusing.
[3:16 PM] Memelly : Surrender all your power and raise genuine concerns when necessary. That is a sentence that is incompatible with itself. If the submissive surrenders all power, then they no longer have the ability to raise concerns. Period. And if they can raise genuine concerns, then they are not surrendering utterly.[3:16 PM] Memelly : While the submissive is expected to act like a servant, the two partners should serve one another. Have I mentioned recently I really hate this guy?
[3:26 PM] Memelly : That is a VERY specific form of BDSM, and it's not everyone's.
[3:26 PM] Memelly : As with all Wiki articles, take this with a grain of salt, but some general terms and practices he profoundly misses: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_BDSM[3:27 PM] Memelly : And what he seems to be talking about through most of this article is servitude: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Service-oriented_(sexuality)[3:27 PM] Memelly : Now, when I think of servitude D/s, I typically imagine slaves on a long chain cuffed to something in the kitchen so they can clean, or to a post in the yard so they can do yard work. This isn't everyone's definition, a'course, but it sounds awfully like what he's describing.
[3:30 PM] Memelly : On the other side, the dominant partner must not force their sub to refer to them in particular titles such as 'Master' or 'Sir'. I would also say he's hedging on this one. Again, with the "only heterosexuals can do D/s properly" attitude, which is deeply galling, but even setting that aside, no. Some dominants like titles. Some don't. Some submissives give titles to their doms. Some don't. It is not an all-or-nothing thing.
[3:31 PM] Memelly : And his conclusion is just completely baffling, because I swear it's written by someone else entirely. Because it ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE, as opposed to blathers on about how the girl submits to everything because The Man is all-powerful.
[3:31 PM] Memelly : I'd agree with everything said in the conclusion, which is why it's baffling, because I have severe reservations on most of the article.
[3:31 PM] Memelly : There. Book finished.
There was discussion past this point, which, if people are really interested in, I can capture from Discord and drag into another post, but these were the main points of disagreement. There's also a few formatting errors I can't seem to track down, so...hell with it, it's going out.


Made it through another year. Yay me.