tell the bed not to lay like the open mouth of a grave

(Note from the Editrix: Because these are mounting, sadly, I'm going to start generally indicating when they were written, as opposed to published. This one is from the 18th of July.)

(Additional: And why yes, I am making them march a bit with two entries a day. Too much waiting. Too much backlog. Let's go, already.)



express yourself, don't repress yourself
express yourself, don't repress yourself
express yourself, don't repress yourself

I admit, the blog notwithstanding, I have never been the poster girl for self-expression. I'm mostly the Before picture. But personal growth demands, and all that, and I have gotten better over the years. Because communication is vital. Far too many people ignore it, at their peril, and it always, always, trips me up when I forget how vital it is.


and I'm not sorry (I'm not sorry)
it's human nature (it's human nature)
and I'm not sorry (I'm not sorry)
I'm not your [b*tch], don't hang your [sh*t] on me (it's human nature)

Judgement can be just as damaging. Pick an area of American culture, I can virtually guarantee it's been distorted by the heavy anchor weight of Puritanical or Judeo-Christian beliefs. What (may have) worked then profoundly does not work now, and as Bobcat Goldthwait once famously said regarding the Constitution--"It's just a piece of paper, it can be changed!"



you wouldn't let me say the words I longed to say
you didn't want to see life through my eyes
(express yourself, don't repress yourself)
you tried to shove me back inside your narrow room
and silence me with bitterness and lies
(express yourself, don't repress yourself)

And I've dealt in all worlds with people who refuse to understand, out of fear, anxiety, personal dread, or peer pressure. You shouldn't charge. You shouldn't be non-monogamous. You shouldn't have an open marriage. You shouldn't have tattoos. The list can, and does, go on. I think worst are the ones who attack my practices, not because they think their own are that much better, but because they're deeply, bitingly jealous of my freedoms compared with the narrow, restrictive lives they've chosen.



did I say something wrong?
oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex (I musta been crazy)
did I stay too long?
oops, I didn't know I couldn't speak my mind (what was I thinking?)

And there are places in this world, even in the US, where women are told repeatedly their place is to shut up and be a support structure for men. It famously happened on the national stage recently, when our current president, upset over judgments that had gone against him, railed at a press conference against the female Supreme Court Justices, saying that their place was not to speak loudly and make a fuss, but to sit down and shut up.

No one, except perhaps Kavanaugh, got to the Supreme Court because they weren't fiercely intelligent and skilled. Liberal, centrist, conservative, doesn't matter--and that's how the system is designed. We want the finest legal minds being the ultimate arbiters of justice, because that way we know it's being (mostly) applied fairly, (reasonably) impartially, and with no regard for personal agendas.

At least, that was the plan originally...



you punished me for telling you my fantasies
I'm breakin' all the rules I didn't make
(express yourself, don't repress yourself)
you took my words and made a trap for silly fools
you held me down and tried to make me break
(express yourself, don't repress yourself)

Wow, there are still StarGates around? Do they still work?

It's difficult for us to obey rules we don't know exist. How are we supposed to behave if no one informs us there are rules of behavior? But more important, how are we supposed to behave if our ethics conflict with someone else? Couple former friends of mine come to mind with the application of the Golden Rule, for instance--because if they treated everyone how they most desired to be treated, everyone would have a lot more rope burns, and in one case, a lot more scars. Not everyone wants that.



did I say something true?
oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex (I musta been crazy)
did I have a point of view?
oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about you (what was I thinking?)

At one point in one of my relationships, there were taboo topics, and it became difficult to communicate at all at certain points because so much was forbidden. Now, sometimes there are irreconcilable differences--I believe one thing, someone else believes another, and we cannot come to a decent compromise between the two positions. Fine. In that case, it generally comes down to 'Well, I disagree, but we'll table that for now."

But when it's hard to talk at all without brushing against one of those trigger beliefs, there are bigger problems in the relationship than simple communication.



and I'm not sorry (I'm not apologizing)
it's human nature (would it sound better if I were a man?)
and I'm not sorry (you're the one with the problem)
I'm not your [b*tch], don't hang your [sh*t] on me (why don't you just deal with it?)

And ultimately, that is the question, isn't it? So many people--mostly in the US, but I've also noticed this worldwide--would prefer to sacrifice freedom and personal responsibility for rules and bureaucratic control. Some people never grew up in homes that taught them how to stand behind their words, their actions, and so they grow to adulthood, have kids of their own, and the cycle of mistrust, fear, and anxiety perpetuates.



and I'm not sorry (would you like me better if I was?)
it's human nature (we all feel the same way)
and I'm not sorry (I have no regrets)
I'm not your [b*tch], don't hang your [sh*t] on me (just look in the mirror)

That's never been my issue, I have all the regrets, steeped in them over time. Small ones, large ones, small stabbing pains of memory's knife twisting on the recall...but...I lived through all of them. And for all I look back far more than I should, all of that got me here. Good or bad, it's what makes me...me. My flaws, my scars, my regrets, my successes, my understanding (such that it is at times)...all of it was foundational in who I am now.

This is not to say I celebrate my regrets. I wish often I had less of them, and not just that less had happened, but that they ate at my soul less. Hindsight is 20/20, after all, and sometimes, my outlook makes my past excruciatingly clear.



and I'm not sorry (I don't have to justify anything)
it's human nature (I'm just like you)
and I'm not sorry (wy should I be?)
I'm not your [b*tch], don't hang your [sh*t] on me (deal with it)

But I try to take responsibility where I can. I try to accept I make mistakes, and acknowledge them. I apologize when I need to, because the very worst thing, ever, is to say "I'm sorry you were upset" over "I'm sorry this happened". Or even simply, "I'm sorry." The first is dodging responsibility on a major scale, and blaming the other party.

Never do that. Because, if we can't take responsibility for our actions, good or bad, we're still children. And the whole point of growing up is to accept that adults have responsibilities, as well as freedoms, and to behave accordingly.

(Pictures taken at Satyr's Covert [owner was on when I traipsed through; while it is a fantasy sim, he says it's open, all are welcome to wander. He did recommend I take off my heels, so I did], Vana, Dawson Forest, the Secret Garden in Uba, Satori and Catena et Cavea. Lyrics from Madonna's Human Nature, which still has a fairly goofy video, but a great message above and beyond.)

come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

A social friend decided I needed to go on a sleigh ride. The first place he found, their sleigh was broken, but the one on North Pole's sim was active, so off we went.



It was a crisp, beautiful winter day, and amusingly enough, sitting in the sleigh delivered me a (full perm, of all things!) blanket that arrived pre-tucked around my legs, and a cup of hot cocoa to imbibe as we moved through the well-worn tracks.



Some of the visuals along the track were very realistic--drifting snow, winter trees, expected winter scenery--and some were fantastical and surreal, like this tunnel made of ice, followed by a grouping of crystalline, brightly-colored deer forms.



Some of the visuals were also very quaint, and traditional in that sense--like this village made of peppermint candy and canes.



The one major moment of copyright violation I noticed, and while it is undeniable, it also fits in very well, so could it simply count as homage? A portion of the ride travels alongside the North Pole Express.



A lovely trip through a wooden covered bridge, painted very traditionally brick red.



Pulling into the end village, where there is a small, open chalet with a fireplace and more cocoa to warm up.



And this is near where the ride stopped, and believe me, I didn't cover even a third of everything a visitor will see along the ride. (The 'stores in SL' tag is also on this entry because, in addition to the small open chalet, visitors will find several small shops in the village to purchase various holiday decorations and trees.)

This comes highly recommended. I was thoroughly charmed, and I may well visit again.

signs of life from the smile on your face to the lines you rephrase

Tonight is the annual Viennese Holiday Ball at Bellefleurs:



I will admit, I am somewhat daunted. I do plan to attend, but...I'm not entirely sure what in my wardrobe qualifies as formal, these days! I do know it will quite likely be in tones of red and green, as I have been assiduously collecting holiday attire throughout December.

I suppose my little ragamuffin self will have to do the best I can...and leave the antlers and the painted skin behind, as I think this is also intended to be a genteel gathering of human sorts, and I...well. I've never been that, precisely.

But I'll find something. It will likely require a frenzy of unpacking, but I am undaunted. And I am quite looking forward to attending a formal dance again!

Oh, do I even remember how to waltz, still??

(Do remember: if you, also, plan to attend, that Bellefleurs sits on Adult land, though nothing overly lascivious will be seen at the ball, of course.)

an ancient grand hotel of Persian thread and ivory

So, there's been a lot of heat and pressure around female gamers lately. Not just female game characters (that's from 2011, but seriously, with TERA Online, it still stands), but actual harassment of female gamers. I've watched some of the source footage, and read some of Super__Yan's Twitter feed, and the entire thing is just appalling, start to finish.

(from the media album)

But there's something that was pointed out in response to something Miss Pakozdi said. I quote:

@Super__Yan the entire time you were giggling and enjoying the attention. someone mentions harassment and not until then do you complain?

For those who don't know, there's some socializing and psychology behind this, and it all comes down to male vs. female perception and reaction. To wit:

Males will laugh when:

• happy 
• amused 
• angry 

These laughs will generally be perceptively altered so that a happy laugh sounds happy, an angry laugh sounds angry. This is the way most males are trained to react.

Conversely, females will laugh when:

• happy 
• amused 
• nervous 
• embarrassed 
• angry
• hurt 
• confused 
• fearful 

Why? Because we are trained to, by our mothers, by media, by women around us. We are overwhelmingly trained that our first response to something that makes us uncomfortable should not be stand up for ourselves and say that--it should be to laugh, and smile, and play it off as if it's not something that is embarrassing us, or discomfiting us, or angering us, or even scaring us. This, I think, is what most males cannot seem to grasp.

Much of the heat that landed firmly on this lady's shoulders was because of how she reacted to Aris Bakhtanians' comments to her--live, on the air, on a site streaming such content out to the internet at large.

Here's another problem that I don't think is being adequately understood--while I believe strongly that Aris was simply a jerk beyond all reason, for the most part he can--and does--honestly claim that it wasn't him, it was the live chat alongside the gaming stream to which he was reacting.

While the "fighting game community", or "FGC" as it's now being called, has never really lacked for abusive behavior, this should be well understood--most of what he said to Super__Yan was simply repeating and reading off what the chat was typing at the time. Asking for her bra size--that didn't come from him, that came from the chat. Deciding to rise from his chair and "smell" her--that didn't come from him, that came from the chat. Offering to buy a skirt for her, so camera shots could be zoomed in on her bare--and presumably spread--legs, that was a suggestion from the chat.

What I'm saying here is pointing all our ire at Aris himself does nothing to fix the larger problem, which is the incredibly racist, abusive, horrific things a lot of male gamers spew on a daily basis--on voice, in chat, in person. I want to be clear, here--it's not Aris himself we should single out, it's the entire male gaming culture where this kind of abuse is considered okay.

Worst of all, there's this attitude in a lot of game blogs where this incident was concerned--most well put on the Sonic Hurricane blog, where the author tells us that anyone can be a "stream monster", it just happens.
As Extra Creditz asks, why does it just happen? Why can't we stop it? Why can't we shut these idiots down, and make online gaming welcoming to anyone, not just the racist bigots who want to slam anyone who's not them--women, gays, blacks, Asians, Hispanics, transsexuals...I agree: this is not right. And it needs to stop.

Meanwhile, in the world of quantum mechanics, something many of us have long suspected has turned out to be true--namely, that simply making the decision to change the state of a photon changes its state under early observation, before the experiment. The only way this doesn't happen? Is if the later experiment does not change the state of the photon in question.

In this case, cause is preceding effect. Me personally, I'm fascinated by that.

Also, Minecraft's hit the world of textile patterning in a huge way. Is it a sad thing that now I want to track down who made what and make plans to acquire it? Well, some of it. I don't think I could live with the chair...

And I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the Digital Twin concept, originally discovered on NWN. Granted, there are programs collating all of our data online anyway, that's not the part that bothers me. (That djinni is long out of the bottle, frankly.) Instead, what worries me is the concept of teaching it through random interactions:

You can interact with this Pet You - ask it questions, push it around, introduce unexpected elements like warm apple pie or a swarm of bees.

Yeah, that way lies madness, believe me. I know this, because I used to play Sims, and there was always that great temptation to build a deep swimming pool, watch my Sims go swimming, then remove the diving board. Or usher them all in to a small room with two fireplaces and watch them burn.

While I do on occasion consider myself a cruel person, that line being uttered in such an uninvolved, matter-of-fact tone speaks to a larger subset of behavior. While we may not do terrible things to a baby (at least, those of us who have a strong ethical base), would we automatically do terrible things "just for fun" because it's a digital creation? Because it's been classified as "not us" from the start?

In that case, does that explain some of the horrifying things that happen in SL? Because it's "just a game"? Because it's not like anyone really cares what happens to their avatar, right?

Except we do.

More from New World Notes: a brief glimmer of a larger problem at the very end of this article on the prevalence of linked SLUrls on blogs and websites. I link SLUrls frequently on the blog, so discovering those user metrics are so lo is making me ponder whether or not I should continue to offer SLUrls so people can visit. However, that's not the larger problem mentioned. The problem, in a nutshell, is that seventy percent of all SL residents never leave their home location.

They don't go to clubs. They don't shop in-world. They don't go to events. They don't port around the grid in any way. They just stay home.

While I understand that, generally--you have a home you spent time and/or Lindens to decorate and acquire, you want to enjoy that home; possibly with your SL spouse/your partner/your SL family/your clan....whatever. I do understand that.

But, that paired with the overwhelming catastrophe of the Marketplace coding, means there are seventy percent of residents, on average, that now can't go online to buy things and have them delivered. If they never go walking around, flying around, teleport to various sims, drive or boat or swim away from their homes...and Marketplace no longer works...seriously, how long is it going to be before they figure, screw SL, they'll just go back to IMVU? Or set up a new account in the first place?

Also from New World Notes: the somewhat astonishing fact that Linden Lab will not be involved in a Second Life ninth year anniversary celebration. This just confirms what I've said many times on the Train Wreck--Linden Lab as an entity no longer cares about community in Second Life, and is now refusing to sponsor anything that doesn't make them direct cash. Which is a) depressing as hell, and b) explains why they're targeting the sims and businesses featured on the Destinations page (many of which subsequently get featured on the log-in screen)--it's not that Linden Lab is ethically advocating those businesses, sims, and clubs; it's just that those sims, businesses and clubs directly pay them Lindens, through tier fees, advertising, or more direct interactions. While I still don't think you have to be a huge business to get linked, you have to have a lot of traffic, or a lot of virtual acreage, to get linked.

Couple more things from New World Notes, since this seems to be turning into a clip entry, over another Minecraft entry. I disagree with Daniel Kaplan's assertion that there are more males playing Minecraft than females. Why? Break it down: not every woman will "like" a Facebook fan page for a game, nor will they automatically interact constantly on Mojang's Twitter feed. Females as a rule also won't plunge into cooperative multiplayer server worlds (at least, for the most part).

What they will do is purchase the game, download it, pick out a non-Steve skin, and play in single-player mode. Planting orchards, getting pets, farming, building incredible structures, discovering the world. I think there are a great number of female Minecraft players; they're just not players that have a desire to interact with the bulk of the online (male) gaming community.

Minecraft gives them the gaming experience without the "tits or GTFO" mentality that established online communities (Eve Online, SW:ToR and its predecessors, World of Warcraft, Call of Duty and every other FPS on the planet, seemingly...even Team Fortress II falls into this on occasion) seem to develop, because of the aforementioned small-minded men in those established gaming communities. And isn't that a good thing? I'm not saying every woman on the planet has to eschew shooting games, military games, survival horror games--if it's what they like to do, they should feel they have a right to play. We're no longer in that Farmville-or-nothing world; there's a lot of games out there for everyone to play.

But seriously, if a woman's already feeling excluded from the gaming world, Minecraft just reinforces that--if she's going to be alone anyway, and not interacting with the social aspects of the games she likes, then hell--why not be alone virtually, too? She'll still get to kill things, she'll still get to stake her claim, make her home, scavenge for materials. She just doesn't have to do it while the men around her are either asking for pictures, calling her a bitch, or telling her girls can't play these games, and to just leave before she stinks up the place. That kind of continual, dunning pressure--as Super__Yan rightly points out--is deeply damaging to our self-esteem and our sense of self-worth.

And it shouldn't be this way. But since it is...yeah, I think Minecraft is a great alternative for female gamers, hands down.

I saw a preacher man in cuffs; he'd taken money from the church

[10:59] jxxxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxxx: it's Christmas dammit
[11:00] jxxxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxxx: all this happy winter holiday....what does that mean
[11:00] Sxxxxx Sxxxxx: it's WINTER

While accurate, that wasn't the main point. What sir lives-in-a-cowboy-hat meant was that everyone should wish everyone a Merry Christmas, specifically, because to do otherwise was offensive. To Christians, one would suppose, even though in Caledon--and on the wider grid as well--there are members of virtually any faith one can comprehend. I know for certain fact that there are many Jewish residents in the Realm of Roses, many pagan residents--of varying "denominations", though that's not really accurate when speaking of larger paganity--and we have a fair scattering of Latter-Day Saints, of Catholics, of Jehovah's Witnesses, of Muslims, and other faiths less well known. We have atheists in Caledon, and we even have one fellow who staunchly believes in Superman, the risen Son of Krypton.

[11:00] Rxx Sxxxxxxx: We still refer to it as Yule in Scandinavia.
[11:00] jxxxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxxx: so we don't upset a raghead or two

And this single statement, friends and neighbors, wholly perplexed the Caledonians present, and those listening in from farther away, for a good two hours after it was stated by Mr. my-God-I-lurve-horses.

The official definition of "raghead" for the uninitiated:

rag·head derogatory, pejorative

Term used in derogation of Muslims, Arabs, Sikhs, and other groups who traditionally wear headdress forms such as a turban, keffiyeh or headscarf.

If you've never seen a turban, or keffiyeh, let me provide examples:

(from the random album; Maeed wearing the keffiyeh, as seen on his blog.)

(from the random album; Daler Mehndi, pop bhangra singer from India, in a Sikh turban. Picture originally published by the India Times.)

(from the random album; sales photo of a sumayya scarf, or hijab, taken from Alibaba.com.)

There are also some astounding pictures taken by Eric Lafforgue, renowned international photographer, here and on his site, that depict varying forms of keffiyeh, and headscarves and hijabs in general, on women and men in a multitude of countries.

I would point out, especially in the case of certain Americans who are using it specifically as a designating racial slur, that they almost always are using it to refer (and nearly exclusively) to men. But some do expand it to include anyone who might wear any variant of head covering that they think is anti-Christian, regardless of gender.

In the broadest sense, it is a typical insult of its kind: in one two-syllable word, the speaker both insults and denigrates, with added nuances that imply the "raghead" so discussed is also unintelligent, unwashed, and animalistic in nature, thus "lesser" in all important ways, than the speaker. (What's morbidly amusing for me is that I don't think any Arabic or Muslim country has melted any portion of another country into glass with a nuclear bomb...but Americans have. Yet this term implies broadly that "ragheads" cannot be trusted, partially because of the implied tendencies towards violence. Curious indeed.)

[11:00] Zxxxxxxx Wxxxxxx: technically in the [southern] hemisphere its a summer holiday
[11:00] jxxxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxxxd: lolol
[11:02] jxxxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxxx: well i ain't in Scandinavia...i'm in Texas...so it's Happy Christmas....take that as you will
[11:02] Zxxxxxxx Wxxxxxx: Ain't it the third night of Hanakkuh come sundown?
[11:02] Cxxxx Bxxxxxx: eet eez.

The beauty of religion, in this sense, is that some of the dates overlap, and thus, in the most expansive sense, can be "shared", so to speak. Witness:

• Bodhi Day: Generally on 8 December; Buddhist day celebrating the enlightenment achieved by Siddhartha Gautama.
• Yule: also Wintertide, Winter Solstice, Jul, and others; refers to celebrations of varying types to celebrate the longest night of the year. Lights are lit, feasts are held, gifts are exchanged, and, depending on the community, there are other traditions (the Julbock, for instance, who used to bring gifts in many Scandinavian countries).
• Hanukkah: Winter celebration of the victory of the Maccabees over King Antiochus; the eight days that the celebration runs honor each of the eight days that the one-day supply of purified ritual oil lasted, when the Maccabees had captured the Temple and begun to drive out the Greeks.
• Christmas: the celebration at the end of December to honor Christ's birth, exchange gifts, hang lights to stave off darkness, and worship in community.
• Kwanzaa: the (relatively) new celebration of African heritage, designed to honor and support African Americans specifically, their ancestors, and the trials suffered and survived.
• Eid el Adha, the remembrance of the sacrifice: Also known as the "solemn festival", remembering the commandment from Allah to Ibrahim to sacrifice his son, who was spared through Ibrahim's faith, and exchanged for a sheep. Cows, sheep, goats, and even camels are chosen to be sacrificed formally, in holy, consecrated ways, and the animals sacrificed are then thirded: one-third of the meat is kept to feed the sacrificing family; one-third goes to the holy men who have blessed the proceedings, and their families; and the last third is traditionally given to the poor, so that everyone can be fed and cared for.
  
• Festivus: A secular, non-commercial holiday, that regardless, has caught on with many celebrants who felt excluded by the commercial aspects of Christmas as currently celebrated. Festivus features an absolutely undecorated steel pole (for the Festivus pole needs no other decoration), and two main themes: the airing of family grievances (because honesty is a virtue, even when it's a pain in the ass), and feats of strength (the feats of strength traditionally only end when the head of the household has been officially pinned and thus concedes).
• Las Posadas: A nine-day festival in Mexico commemorating Miriam and Ioseph struggling to find lodging, the night of Yeshua's birth.
• Boxing Day: Celebrated in the British Isles, this was an after-Christmas celebration where gifts were given to servants and to the poor, and feasts and celebrations were held with friends and family who did not live in the immediate vicinity. Currently, the day also features horse races, rugby matches, and grand shopping adventures.

There are also other, more "minor" holidays celebrated; I'm sure I'm leaving many off the list.

[11:02] Sxxxxx Sxxxxx: Mr Hxxxxxxxxx, there are people of all faiths in SL - while "winter holiday" is perhaps a bit generic, it IS inclusive - not just the christian Christmas, but also the jewish Chanuka and other seasonal holidays as well
[11:03] Rxx Sxxxxxxx: I dunno. Today is the winter solstice, in a couple of days is the old pagan holiday repurposed by Christians.
[11:03] Cxxxx Bxxxxxx: but it excludes the southern hemisphere ;)
[11:04] jxxxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxxx: well if they are of diff. faiths...it won't mean anything to them

And this was the second place where many residents in and out of Caledon headtilted. First, did he really mean that everyone should say Merry Christmas over other (one assumes equally heartfelt) wishes, simply because if they're not Christian, then it won't hurt, and second, because Christians are really that touchy?

(Actually, strike that last, I've seen FOX News, some are that touchy.)

And the other point that arose was the seeming inference that if they did not, themselves, celebrate Christmas, then obviously their seasonal celebrations didn't matter, and so they should wish everyone Merry Christmas anyway, because their own faiths were meaningless.

That last one is a very sore point for some, to be sure, but it's also baffling--why would Mr. never-ever-ever-leaving-Texas-because-it's-the-bestest-state-in-the-world want to alienate that many people? Maybe it was just that he really didn't care. Insensitivity, after all, thy name is (in large portion) America...

[11:04] Zxxxxxxx Wxxxxxx: Heck Christmas is a SECULAR holiday. It must be since the US govt observes it, if it were religious in nature then it would run afoul of the Establishment clause of the 1st Ammendment and we would have to deliver mail on Dec 25th

As is known by now, to anyone who adds up the letters given, I don't normally agree with this individual. Therefore, it should come as a great surprise that I absolutely agree with him here, and I never thought about it that way. Because considering the (daily eroding) separation of church and state in the US, were it a religious holiday, the government would be barred from celebrating it. So--while many celebrations privately are held on the same day, in churches and in homes--the day of Christmas, the 25th, at least in America, must no longer have any connection to a religious figure.

There's a mental stunner for you.

[11:04] Sxxxxx Sxxxxx: I generally prefer "seasons greetings" or similar, taking into account the [hemisphere]
[11:04] Yxxxx Bxxxxxxx: Yes it is Day 3 of Hanukkah!
[11:05] jxxxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxxx: ok......sorry i wished all of you a Happy Christmas.....i won't be doing it again

See, I still don't think Mr. take-my-cowboy-boots-when-I'm-dead-you-varmints really understands. It's not that he offended a wide subsection of Caledon with his ill-considered statements (though he did). And it's not that Caledon as a whole is trying to insist that he be politically correct, whatever that means at this point in time.

It's that his very insistence that everyone wish each other a Merry Christmas, and nothing else, in a clearly multicultural as well as international virtual world, just. Does. Not. Work.

[11:06] Yxxxx Bxxxxxxxxx: Why Mr Hxxxxxxxxx I think that is the beauty of a world of diversity.
[11:06] Rxx Sxxxxxxx: Will we be allowed to wish you a happy new year, or is there some special Christian version of that too?

So I admit, I got curious. I looked him up. His groups, man...Well, here:

• Texas Rangers
• 1st Recon USMC
• ARMOURY WAREHOUSE
• Co. A Texas Rangers
• Corse GP Racing
• FLEET MARINE FORCE
• H********* Ranch
• Hollywood Airport Pilots Assn.
• Independent State of Caledon
• Joyus Living
• Second Skies
• SECONDLIFE RACERS
• Texas 1800's
• The Comancheros
• The road to Deadwood
• WILDER WEST (AIRCRAFT CARRIER)
• ~Amaretto Rance~ Breedables

I get it. You like horses. You like Texas. You love big manly sports of big manliness. You adore the military. Bet you're a Republican RL, too. (And no, nobody jump me for that one--I have Republican friends, I have Republican family, and believe me, you just haven't LIVED until you go home for the holidays with your same-sex spouse to spend it with the folks who proudly voted in DOMA...But I digress: the point being, I understand what Republicans believe, and I can largely support old-style conservative leanings. Where I have a problem is with the current everyone-but-me-sucks-and-needs-to-leave-the-country thinking. Like, I suspect, Mr. Yellow-Rose-of-Texas, here.)

So...other than my personal, abhorrently violent desire to light him on fire and swerve him onto a railcar, to ride off in a merry glow out of Caledon forever, what did he gain by this diatribe early this morning? Really, it depends on whom you ask. For many of us, it made him a figure to watch, and perhaps be wary of further conversations with. Others found him morbidly amusing. Still others were baffled--I had to explain to one genteel lass, for instance, what "raghead" meant as an insult, which is why I'm also defining it here.

I suppose, in the end, there's no accounting for bigotry or intelligence; to be more plain, both the stupid and the religiously deranged can likely figure out enough of how renting on the grid works to rent anywhere. I just personally wish he wasn't renting in Caledon, precisely because we do have such a diverse community, and--until his untimely placement of his pointy-toed boot into his wide-open mouth--for the most part we seem to have hit another peaceful patch where the only arguments are happening at events, in person, over in Caledon chat.

So much for that. Here's to the New Year to come: may 2012 be filled with far less ignorance and religious intolerance. Ramen.

roll off the grass and let the insects breathe

A few days ago, a column from Shamus Young's Twenty-Sided Tales blog was linked to me that I found extremely relevant, in the wake of the RedZone debate. I highly recommend that everyone reading this, go read that, but I'm doing something I don't normally do and quoting large bits of the original.

First understand that what made Shamus write that column was an unrelated comment to another column entirely, from a reader called Blurr:

"I am very much against Facebook integration on other websites. I know I can't be the only one. I tried a while ago to figure out how to block Facebook when I'm not on the main Facebook website, but couldn't find anything.

"My concern is that because this 'like' link appears on blogs all over the place, Facebook can get a pretty good idea of my browsing habits. I am against this on principle."

Now, I'd heard this before. And even having read the column, the first reaction my brain has to his words is Wau, he's a loony. But then I read on:

"If a page has a Facebook button on it, then Facebook knows you were on that page. We don't know what they do with that info, but we know they have it."

The hell.

From the embedded link originally in that quote:

"But data about the user is sent to Facebook regardless of whether the Like button is actually activated.

Which is all quite scary - but not too surprising, given Facebook's reputation for snooping on its registered users.

What becomes really scary is realising how Facebook can track your movements even if you haven't signed up to its fake-friend collection service for lonely teens and sad divorcees.

Even if you don't have a Facebook account, you are far from immune from prying eyes, as Roosendaal explains:

"When a user does not have a Facebook account, there is no cookie and no user ID available. In this case, an HTTP GET request for the 'Like' button doesn't issue a cookie.

"However, when a site is visited which includes Facebook Connect, this application issues a cookie. From that moment on, visits to other websites which display the 'Like' button result in a request for the Like button from the Facebook server including the cookie."

Which means Facebook has swiped another batch of valuable data without asking for permission."

And that article goes on to mention that, if we aren't assiduous in clearing our cookies, Facebook's cookies have a two year expiration date.

And every time you hit a page that has the Facebook "Like" button as an embed, does that add on another two years to the life of the cookie? Or does it just create a 'later expiration date' for the so-called "new" cookie--which uses the same data/user ID as the previous one? That, I don't know.

From that same link:

We'll assume that, as you're reading this rather than laughing at Lolcats, you know a thing or two about cookies. They are helpful to users and of immense value to marketeers, allowing them to bombard you with targeted advertising based on your browsing history.

But with an increasing proportion of sites turning to the likes of Facebook in order to increase traffic and revenue - and let's face it, 500 million people is a pretty attractive audience for anyone - isn't it time we started putting our collective foot down about the way in which our every move is monitored?

What's really ironic in all of that? That column has a 'Like' button.

Okay, so that's all kinds of unnerving and creepifying, but I should point out again--Google does this, too. They track where they've been to figure out what ads we may be most interested in. And they do it without consent or requiring permission, just like Facebook. So why do we not have just as many personal privacy issues with Google?

First, because they haven't gotten a lot wrong, while Facebook has. Second, the Google CEO has never come right out and called users of Google's services stupid for using the service. That's pretty damning, even if it's from Zuckerberg's immensely younger, Harvard-attending, spoiled self.

But I digress. Back to Young's original column:

"The problem is with web cookies. A cookie is a small text file created by your web browser. It stores 'name / value pairs', which is fancy programmer talk for stuff like this:

username=PresidentSkroob
password=12345
last_visit=March 24, 2011
mobile_user=no"

And before anyone sneers at the password? What we learned from the whole Gawker debacle is that people pick some pretty dumb passwords. The top three on the analyzed list, after all, are "123456", "654321", and "password". Yeah.

"It lets websites store information on your computer. These files are keyed to the domain name. So, Facebook can only read cookies created by your visit to Facebook.com and The Escapist can only see inside of cookies created by your visit to escapistmagazine.com. The information contained in a cookie is sent when you visit a site. So, if I previously visited Facebook on this computer, it will send my Facebook cookie, which will let Facebook have my name and (if I so choose) password. That way I don't have to log in every time I visit the site, and it can know ahead of time if I want the lightweight mobile version of the page or the all-singing, all-dancing, graphic-heavy full version. If I go to another computer, it won't have a Facebook cookie on it, and so I'll have to type in my name & password to log in."

Which, frankly, is as it should be, in my book. But we are creatures of habit. We don't want inconvenience, we want comfort (occasionally, and usually, to our detriment). People (and I am one of these people), when given the prompt to save a username/password combo, will generally choose to do so. (Were I on a shared computer, I might not be so blithe about this, but I'm on my own computer. I have this feeling, false and intangible as it might be, that because it's my home computer, that I'm the only user who will see these saved password prompts. (Which is as may be, depending, but some people forget and hit the save option on shared computers, simply out of habit. But again, I digress.)

"Even if I tell FB not to save my password, it still saves my username. That username gets sent when I load the page, even if I'm not logged in. See, that little button at the bottom of this page is actually a little sub-webpage. It's a little window with a Facebook page inside of it. (Same goes for the ads on the right. That's a sub-window with a Google page inside of it.) When you visited this page, your Facebook.com cookie (assuming you have one) was sent to Facebook. Facebook sees your username, and because of how HTTP headers work, it also sees that you visited from shamusyoung.com. Ergo, Facebook knows you were here. Of course, this only applies to webpages with Facebook features. Facebook has no way of seeing where else you might go."

Except...yeah, they kind of do. Why? Well, assume I went from shamusyoung.com to that UK link...which also has a 'Like' button. Say I went from there to a link a friend sent me, and rather than spawn a new page, I just popped in the URL and went from there. If that one also had a 'Like' button, while in the main three different cookies were created to send back to Facebook, in the specific if anyone's looking at the aggregate data at some point, they will see that my chain went, unbroken, from site 1 to site 2 to site 3.

As long as I am traveling from sites with 'Like' buttons to OTHER sites with 'Like' buttons, Facebook knows everywhere I've been.

And remember, I'm not even sure how my cookies are showing up to Facebook, because you can't kill a Facebook account once opened. (And I opened one for the purpose of getting what is now an incredibly worthless piece in an armor set for Runes of Magic, got creeped out within a scant few hours, waited out my eight days until the I had documented delivery of the piece of armor code, and then got out. And while I've never been back, and have no intention of going back...any cookies generated at sites with the 'Like' button may just track back to my former Facebook account, and not as 'future user' placeholders.

(Which is creepy enough just on its own.)

"It's important to point out that this is not some nefarious new thing Facebook is doing. Everyone uses cookies. This site remembers the name you use in the comments because that stuff is stored in a shamusyoung.com cookie on your computer. Google uses them. Battle.net uses them. Blogger.com. My Space. Youtube. The Escapist. Google. Yahoo. Blogspot. Wikipedia. Twitter. Anywhere that you log in knows at least your username and the last time you visited."

As I said with the Google example, yeah--a lot of places does this. In fact, secondlife.com does this, because I've set it up to remember my username and password. Just like the Second Life forums (or at least the old ones--I haven't sent in a comment on the new system, and...I'm not sure I'm going to). Just like a lot of places I go to...and most of which, to be honest, have Facebook 'Like' buttons.

"The reason people get worked up about Facebook is because it's so ubiquitous. (And because the founder of Facebook is reportedly a complete douche.) Nobody cares about Yahoo cookies because Yahoo isn't lurking in the corner of every page on the web. The problem isn't that Facebook is more hostile to privacy than other sites, it's that Facebook naturally has access to data that other sites don't, because they're less popular."

I hate to have this come down to some sort of popularity contest, but he's right--Facebook goes farther because Facebook has a lot of users. It's akin to CBS getting the highest-rated show on the airwaves in a certain time slot--they can then take those numbers to the advertisers, and say "See? If you buy ad time for this program, more eyes will see your ad."

That's actually kind of the point in marketing and advertising--to get those numbers, so you'll be funded--through advertising, through direct contributions, through users signing up for subscriptions, whatever. In this breakdown, it doesn't matter a whit whether you're secondlife.com, yahoo.com, or chillygirls.com--your job is to get eyes on your work, the best ways you can. (And yeah, before anyone hunts it down? That last one's real. And really NSFW.)

"If you're really concerned about this, there are things you can do. You can set your cookies to be deleted every time you close your web browser. It will make it impossible for Facebook to see where you are, even when visiting sites like this one."

And he's right, we can, save...this is that comfort vs. security thing again. We can set our browsers to delete all cookies saved every time we close our browsers down. (And some people go farther.) But for most of us, we want that comfort and convenience--so we allow the cookies, we allow push messages on our mobile devices, we allow sites to remember our usernames and passwords--because it's just so much bother if we don't, right?

"For a blog like mine, word of mouth is life. You need a stream of new users just to replace the ones that wander off. Some people get mad and leave. Or lose interest when I change focus to something outside of their sphere of interest. Sometimes they just get tired of me. It happens."

Absolutely. Case in point: I adore Girl Genius. I adore Looking for Group. (Hells, I even have a Richard doll sitting in my bookcase.) But have I read either of those strips the last month? No, I have not. Will I get back to them? Absolutely, because I like both strips. But my attention wandered, I got busy, I lost the time for casual webcomics reading...it happens. To everyone.

"There is nothing I can do to directly draw in new readers, short of forum spam and link-begging on more popular sites – which is one of the most labor-intensive ways of wasting one's time. No, I need word of mouth, and the Facebook Like button is the perfect tool for the job. It's governed entirely by readers. People press it when I do something they like. That action will appear on their Facebook page and attract their friends, who probably share a lot of common tastes and interests. It takes my best material and promotes it to people who are most likely to enjoy it. Even if I was willing to pay money for an advertising campaign, I wouldn’t be able to find something as effective as that little button."

Which is Shamus Young's very polite way of saying, That Facebook 'Like' button isn't going away, people. Deal with it.

You can't please everyone all the time, and the truth of the matter is, this is the internet--so you're going to have people you purely can't please, because for whatever reason, their greatest thrills in life are contrarian ones--arguing dubious points, protesting change in any form, and demeaning anyone who doesn't agree with them. (And, save for the last, I fall into that camp, sad to say--because I protest a lot of things that aren't necessarily going to change--for me or for anyone else--and I do love a good argument.) And even counting those people, you're going to make decisions--as individuals, as companies, as corporate entities--that are designed to lose you people, sometimes. (Do I even need to say Dragon Age 2 at this point?)

So for a lot of bloggers, columnists, newspapers, companies, corporations and even world powers--getting those extra eyes in makes all the difference. And one of the best ways for people to get those eyes in? That 'Like' button.

Which is depressing, but I think Shamus Young is also speaking for Second Life by saying that 'Like' button is going to stick around. It's our choice how to deal with it on our end.

I want to mention one more thing before I close this entry, which is Rock Paper Shotgun's "No Oceans" campaign. I don't know if it will go anywhere, but I think it's a worthwhile goal--getting everyone, internationally, on the same page for game releases would cut down a lot of torrenting of games, and, more to the point, get everyone accustomed to playing together, and being able to play together--which would diminish some game piracy (not all, but even a little will help), and hey, while we're at it, maybe foster some stronger international friendships, what the hell. Spread the word.

(And yeah, on that column? There's a 'Like' button.)

it ain't about all the friends you've made, but the graffiti they write on your grave

Tateru Nino wonders why the Labs have set up a secret JIRA category with over four hundred issues marked "Social". I wonder this, too--security exploits being secret I get. But social? Cultural/community/social networking issues have no need to be kept secret from residents...do they?

Meanwhile, there's more shady things happening in world. The CreARTivity blog asks us to work for them. And if we do, they'll pay us pennies on the pennies on the Linden (maximum L$120 per day) for telling our friends and our followers what they do.

...So, what is it they do for this minimal largesse? I really couldn't tell you. I've read through the blog for the past ten entries and I still have no clue what they do.

Cummere Mayo wants the new my.secondilfe.com profiles to be abolished; and while I get that the layout sucks, I don't understand all the screaming about RL info being on the web. People, your SL profile has been on the web and accessible on the Second Life website for at least five years that I know of; more to the point, it's your own lookout if you put down real, valid, RL information on your RL blog.

By that, I don't mean everything in your RL bio should, or even needs to be, false; but it's not at all false to say you're a 24-year-old female German biology student living in New York, over saying you're Gretchen Sinplot living on 224 14th Avenue in New York, with your phone number and your zip code and your email address. Because the first is accurate, and really, all that people in (or out) of SL need to know; the second is just flat out stupid, and shouldn't be done, ever. It's called internet safety for a reason, and if you're foolish enough to put all that information out in your bio, anyway, don't scream that the Lindens have made it easier to access your mistake in the first place.

(Insert from the Editrix: This is a direct quote from Yoz Linden on the JIRA page in question:

No private account info is available through the web profiles as designed, and much care has been taken to ensure that. Any bugs that demonstrate otherwise should be reported in the SEC project, where they'll only be visible to staff and will (if verified) be treated as critical.

So no, full RL details are not released on the web, just whatever people put in their RL bios, already.)

Here's the big thing I'm wondering, though. There's a 'tweet this' button; okay, fine. Not really necessary, but whatever. There's also a 'share on Facebook' button, and, even pushing aside my intense and vitriolic loathing for Facebook, is that similar to the 'Digg this' buttons that pop up, or does it mean something else?

I mean, look, I'm not interested in testing it out, but when that button's clicked, does it take you directly to Facebook with a request to log in or register? Or does it take you to that person's page on Facebook? Because I no longer have a page on Facebook...unless this means the Labs have kindly given me one.

Now, that possibility? Really would be frightening.

this peppermint winter is so sugar-sweet

Still night, nothing for miles,
White curtain come down,
Kill the lights in the middle of the road
And take a look around...

Packed away the doll. Can't help it; I can't imagine being in her skin right now, and I'm shying away even from keeping out those pieces I like and wear with other forms. It hurt, though, the packing away. I poured a great deal of me into the form of the doll.

It don't help to be
One of the chosen
One of the few, to be sure
When the wheels are spinning around
And the ground is frozen through,
And you're

Now I'm finding myself at loose ends, wondering what happens now. Life stage next: there don't seem to be a lot of goals, and less in the way of landmarks to guide me.

Driven, like the snow
Pure in heart
Driven together
And given away to the west

I have a Tumblr account now. It is defiantly not safe for work. I have an established Twitter account, which is mostly safe for work. I maintain one blog nearly daily, another blog diffidently, and I just tied up a third stealth blog for NaNoWriMo. (I'm still not sure what to do with the fifty-one thousand words of output. It wasn't fiction. It was far from impersonal. And in spots it was raw and painful and bleeding to write. I seriously doubt anyone wants to read that but me.)

A white dress
'Til the river don't run
A black dress
Looking like mine
'Til the sun don't shine no more

All of which means I'm finding places to test my footing, places to learn new things, but very, very little of it has anything to do with Second Life.

Where the sky meet the ground
Where the street fold round
Where the voice you hold don't make no sound

I haven't moved on yet. I'm still holding my parcels (though I'm still looking to sell Caledon Morgaine), working in world; I'm still involved in building the occasional frock.

Let's just say, I know where the exit is now, even if it doesn't lead to another virtual world.

Look, snow on the river and two by two
Took a lot to live, a lot like you
I don't go there now, but I hear they sung
Their "Fuck Me And Marry Me Young"

So where am I drawing the line at present? Well, I can't conceive--now--of ever having another rezday party. I can't conceive--now--of going to another dance. I know maybe eight people in Caledon at this point.

Some wild-eyed dear in a big white bed
Now, you know better than that, I said,
Like a voice in the wind
Blow little crystals down
Like brittle things will break before they turn

In fact, it's gotten so bad, as far as detachment goes, that I wonder--when I get Lindens--why I'm bothering buying new things at all. I'm trying to gut out the inventory I have, and, since I still have this strong feeling Second Life may not be long for this world...why am I buying new things?

Like lipstick on my cigarette
And the ice get harder overhead
Like, think it twice but never never learn...

Which makes it hard to support the efforts I want to support. Like Woeful Wednesday, and even 25LT, though I'm not Gorean. Supporting sculpt makers who throw sales. Supporting the makers I do like, when I do have spending money over and beyond rent.

And the mist will wrap around us
And the crystal, if you touch it...

And more importantly, it makes it very difficult to consider buying Lindens. Why, precisely, am I supporting a company who's spent the past three years lighting any last shred of community support, and any established positive feelings, on fire?

And the cars lost in the drift are there
And the people that drive lost in the drift are there
And the cares I've lost in the drift are there
Theirs, ours, lost in the drift are
Are, are, are
Driven

Like Bettina Tizzy, at this point I think I'm just hanging around, waiting for the Labs to be sold off to whomever, and then figure out if I can cope with the changes that company may want to make.

Driven together
And driven apart

At this point, I come in for sale days, if I have extra money; for the rare build project; and for my work shifts at Solace Beach. Nothing else pulls me into SL without effort.

I can't decide if it's a good thing or not, but I know it's not a bad thing. It remains to be seen how permanent the absence will be, in time.

(Lyrics taken from "Driven Like the Snow" by Sisters of Mercy. "Driven Like The Snow". It comes off the album Floodland, published [and ©] in 1987 by WEA Records, Ltd. and SBK Songs. It was written by Andrew Eldritch, naturally.)

too simple to trust me, too dull to engage, too shallow to please me

There's a lengthy excerpt from the recent Supreme Court case on what makes a video game too violent for the under-eighteens to play; I found myself surprised at how knowledgeable about video games, and the current (accurate) research ongoing on the presumed link between violent games and violence in children the Court was; especially since I thought Scalia was on the conservative side.

Go them.

In other news, I now get to add the word "neutrois" to "cisgender" on my list of Terms That Only Complicate Everything, because of a complaint over a bonehead error that DeviantArt recently pulled (and even then, it wasn't so much the mistake made, which was minor, but the way their cackhanded PR department handled it). Especially Daniel Sowers Jr., who is DeviantArt's designated agent. Bonehead that he is.

I'm not specifically trying to be exclusionary with this stance, it just bugs me. It's like the whole controversy around the gay movement. First gay, then gay and lesbian. Then gay, lesbian and bisexual. Then it was LGBT--the T for transsexual/transgender. Then 'queer' got added, and now intersexed is in there, which means pretty much the only expressions excluded from the community are strict heterosexuals (who are non-supportive, because supportive straights are apparently on board) and people who have pathological sexualities (see pedophiles, for instance). At what point does it just boil back down to "different people"? Or even better, just "people"? We're people. We want the same rights. Everybody should have these rights. Right?

Just stop inventing words, especially if there are already other terms in place that work with less effort. Get real.

The new CEO of Undead Games has decided his massive multiplayer zombie game will ship to consoles, not PCs. Interesting stance. Let's see if it works for him.

Finally, more oddity from Doomed. There's apparently a roleplayer (I shall leave off the hapless unfortunate's name, for once, because she may just be this clueless, not actively stupid) on the Doomed ship who thinks demons are big, fluffy puppies with bad teeth.

Or, to put it closer to what she said to a friend, because her (demonic) character is "nice".

How shall I best break this to the lass...In the story arc of the Doomed ship, demons are the enemy. There are no "nice" demons. If, out of sheer incongruent whimsy, a "nice" demon happens upon the ship, one of two things will happen:

1. The inhabitants of the ship will do their best to kill the demon, because of their prior experience. These are battle-scarred survivors on a ship that has literally been to Hell, and back (or local equivalent), and the inhabitants are paranoid, frightened, and occasionally insane.

or

2. The demons aboard the ship will rip the "nice" demon apart because the so-called "nice" demon is an aberration and must be destroyed.

Period. End of sentence. No negotiation. There are no nice demons on Doomed, just as their are no pure, untouched innocents on Doomed.

Or, put another way, if you are taking on one of these roles, on the Doomed ship? You're dragging in your own mythological subset, because on Doomed, neither virginal purity nor sweet, kind demonology is in evidence. (Because, as said, any evidence of either of these astounding creatures? Would be killed/raped/eaten instantly, before, after or during.)

Move on. Get a new character, dear. You'll just keep dying if you don't.

So what the hell happened to Katharine Berry and megaprim.sl? What new fresh hell are the Phoenix/Emerald devs responsible for now?

It's not going to be without its pitfalls, and likely severe ones, but when mesh uploads finally crawl their way onto the grid (assuming the grid's still there when that eventual day comes), the ten meter limit on prim size is apparently being raised to sixty-four meters.

While this will definitely help builders, especially with the loss of megaprim.sl, I'm fairly sure that's also only to be enabled on "official" SL viewers. Because we all "should" be using the official viewers, natch.

Meanwhile, for those specific-prim needs, there's always Prim Search Login. It sort of works.

At least, it's what we've got for now.

there's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation; it's so pure, so strong!

For anyone who doesn't live on the Second Life grid, this next may be hard to understand, but there actually are people who are clamoring for a representative democracy to be enshrined as the ruling body of SL at large.

At least, I think that's what they're asking for--sometimes, it's hard to tell. They seem to want something significantly beyond what we have, with Linden Labs at the top of any diagram, because they own the place. They seem to think by and large that, simply because of their place on the grid, the grid should be democratic in nature.

There are a few problems with that, which Honor McMillan has ably taken on in a recent blog post, but I just wanted to clarify one section of the point.

Think democracy. Democracy as we know it, on a daily average level, in the US, say. (For those of you not in the US--you're generally better off, so just read along with your typical bemused smile.) Just for argument. If you really want the type of democracy the US has--and the Lindens, for some brain-dead reason of their own, decided to go along with you--you would have:

* Representatives for the furs
* Representatives for babyfurs
* Representatives for the dragons
* Representatives for the cultured furs
* Representatives for the neko population
* Representatives for the Caledonian Catgirl Brigade (because really, they ARE their own thing)
* Representatives for the fur herms (and boy, are THEY their own category)

and everyone else. And that's just one flavor of non-humans. What about:

* Representatives for porcelain dolls
* Representatives for fetish dolls
* Representatives for Rubberdolls (and there'd have to be at least seven people for that one community, because otherwise, there's no one to break a tie vote if they ALL start screaming at each other)
* Representatives for dark RP communities (and would they then split into one--or more--for each of those communities?)
* Representatives for the demons
* Representatives for the vampires (and those would have to split again into at least three different groups by my count also)
* Representatives for werewolves
* Representatives for weres in general
* Representatives for constructs
* Representatives for Avarians (and again, would that be one voice to speak for all of them, or a multitude to speak for every type?)
* Representatives for historical RP communities
* Estate representatives (and would it be one per sim, or one per sim chain owner?)

And past that:

* child community reps
* adult community reps
* "Adult" community (for yes, there is a difference!) reps

And that's not even all of them, there's more out there that I'm not even remembering off the top of my head. But we're not done. What about:

* Christians
* Pagans
* Satanists
* Jews
* Muslims
* Buddhists
* Quakers
* Hindus

and more. And then there's:

* Russians
* Brazilians
* English
* Australians
* Americans
* Canadians
* French
* Mexicans
* Spaniards
* Scots
* Koreans
* Yugoslavians
* Hungarians
* Japanese

and more; Second Life is incredibly diverse. Plus we can toss in:

* Republicans
* Democrats
* Labor Party members
* Liberals
* Conservatives
* Anarchists

Who else would fit into there?

And beyond anything else, would we need space for the extreme fetishes, the extreme belief systems, because if there's one thing I've learned about SL, it's that extreme thinking fits right in. How would we bring all these diverse interests together?

Not only that, but can you seriously tell me that a devout Muslim can sit next to a full-on dominant in leather with a girl in slave chains and red silks at his feet on one side, and a hermaphroditic demon Mistress with a fully pierced, spiked, and dripping exposed member on the other?

Or how about that self-same slave girl in red silks sitting next to a Femdom advocate who cannot conceive of any other lifestyle than weak men submitting to her will? Hells, sit her next to a Gorean male. Can they get along long enough to even vote on an issue, whatever that issue is?

And folks on SL, by and large, they're a mouthy bunch where their particular whatever is concerned. How do you get all these people to agree on a location to meet, yet alone the topics of the day? Beach people, proper Victorians, casual strollers, winter skiiers, mermaids, sea monsters, Westerners in boots and cowboy hats...and what about the dress code? Long skirts, short skirts, amount of cleavage appropriate? Can anyone show up in a veil and not cause controversy? If it's PG land that would leave out the serious fetishists anyway...

Of course, all of this is beside the point. That point being--it's still Linden Labs' playground. We just play there. It's our right to say whether we play there or not, and to a limited extent, how we choose to play--but we can't stand up and 'vote' that the swing set is taken away and replaced with a bakery, f'rinstance. Because we don't own the place.

We just hang out and swing. People really need to understand that, once and for all.

(All right; next up, Operation Squeegee!)

splitting, splitting sound, silver heels spitting, spitting snow

many people tell you that they're your friend
you believe them
you need them
for what's round the river bend

Vertical farming. It's the wave of the future. (No, seriously. And thanks to Bettina Tizzy for finding the link.)

make sure that you're receiving the signals they send
'cause brother you've only got two hands to lend

In another found link, Miss Kamenev provided In Defense of Victorientalism by Gatehouse Magazine. The line that stuck most strongly with her was, "Because steampunk is fiction, not research." I think it's both, myself--one cannot have good fiction without some research into whatever it is one is writing about--but I'm more intrigued by the second assertion, that Victorientalism--and, by extension, steampunk--is all about the bright brass and the ever striding forward, that sense of Empire and prosperity, invention and creation. There is no 'dark side', Gatehouse Magazine tells us.

I beg to differ. It is difficult not to appreciate, on a vital and visceral level, the class split between rich and poor when one ponders gears and fittings to convert a laptop case. (If one even owns a laptop.) It is very difficult indeed to desire a proper set of leather airship togs, when one can neither afford the leather, the fittings for the buckles, or knows anyone who sews. (I'm not in that camp, but even so, I can't sew leather--I stop at denim, because I'm still doing everything by hand. And with my hands? It takes a while!)

maybe there's someone who makes you weep
and some nights loom up ahead
when you're asleep

Or let's consider the interpretations of steampunk on the grid: yes, there are shining air palaces and winsome rosy-cheeked Daughters of Industry in SL; there is opportunity for everyone who can rez out a prim and play with building. But there is a learning curve, as well. Not everyone can sculpt, for instance, or afford the sculpts that others make. And nearly anyone can texture, but it does take some understanding to texture well. And once textured, if the fabric/metal/leather texture was unshadowed, it looks bright and sharp and decidedly un-aged in any fundamental way. One must then learn to bake shadows, or how properly to apply shadows, shading and age to textures exported to a graphics program.

Again, if one has one.

some days there's things on your mind you should keep
sometimes it's tougher to look than to leap

better watch out for the skin deep

It's all well and good to move from the position of wealth and intrigue towards other distant lands, but trust me--when the decision to buy a $40 pair of hand-wrapped watch-gear earrings must be weighed against the desire to keep food in the house? Or to pay rent? Such ephemera prove lovely, and no less desired, but discarded in favor of brute necessity.

In this sense? Scrabbling to make do, recycling what we have, adding bits and scraps of trim and beads hoarded from other projects, along with metallic parts from the things that have broken down...steampunk or not, it just makes economic sense. And it is sense that one doesn't acquire when the only decisions in the life fall to buying a new corset with the three bustle dresses...or two new corsets.

Trust me when I say this--I think many more people than might be previously understood get the class struggle; wage slavery; homelessness; lack of sufficient medical care or upper-level educational benefits; patched clothing, patched structures, and keeping the engines running at any cost, repairing on repairs, and teaching ourselves to do what we can, ourselves, because we cannot afford specialists.

one day the track that you're climbing gets steep
your emotions are frayed
and your nerves are starting to creep

There are a couple parcels--maybe just the one, but there's a larger one that has nothing on it and seems to say 'Available'--up for sale in Winterfell Absinthe (that SLUrl will lead you to a point midway between the two open parcels). The one I know is for sale is directly aside der Hut des Jaegers, on Autumnset Road, and it's a lovely little 512 parcel with 234 prims for use. Themes must be medieval fantasy, though dark Victorian/Edwardian is also allowed, providing no Tesla coils or other electronic devices are used. That one goes for L$500 per week, and L$500 to acquire.

We aren't quiet neighbors, to be sure, but we're really only rambunctious on Thursdays. And you're always welcome to come over for a tipple, or to read a poem on Thursday evenings.

According to the Gamasutra blog, Ragnarok II--an update to the original that profoundly changes known game dynamics--is due out sometime this year. We're still watching for the when, since that article was release back in December of last year.

And according to Jon Wood of MMORPG, he says the future is Facebook for MMOs, as well.

Am I the only person who'd be happy if Facebook spontaneously exploded? I can't be. Come on, now. Complaints of slow service and things not loading and stalkers and weird formats...I cannot be the only one.

just remember the days
as long as the time that you keep
brother you better watch out for the skin deep

And in all else, the storm is passing, and it remains only to pick up what shattered in its wake. It will be a slow rebuilding, but I am, if nothing else, stubborn to any fault. And determined. I may not remain the same, after all the pieces are back in place, but...when have I ever?

(Lyrics from the Stranglers' song, Skin Deep.)

I can't breathe easy here, 'less our trail's gone cold behind us

Here I go again
Slipping further away
Letting go again
Of what keeps me in place...


(Ruminating at Tweedle. You can find intriguing skyboxen, large tree lamps and tableaux, and a variety of fun and seasonal decorations here, including the highly amusing cardboard trees in several seasonal shades.)

There is a curious schism at present, between lives. I spent today by myself, wandering. From place to place, new-found or treasured of old, I wandered. I was twitchy under my skin, it kept changing. And I was alone.

Alone seems to be how I spend most of my time, these days, on the grid.

I like it here
But it scares me to death
There is nothing here...


(The zombie kissing booth at FallnAngel Creations. Note the new frock behind me--you'll find it under Ballgowns and it's called Queen of Hearts. Spendy, but worth every penny, available in far more colors than just black and white. And the hair in the ad you can find over at Falln Sanitarium.)

Is it a good sign or a bad sign that unless I specially request it, or attend at the urgings of friends who refuse to let me drift completely from the world, all I do here, I do by myself? It's not a bad sign that out of world, I live with, and adore deeply, two people, and know my heart is captured and held by two others. Love, I am not without. Valentine's Day as a holiday holds no terror for me, unless it's what to get for all these varied loves.

But on the grid, now...it's just me. Is this a good or bad sign?

The light is beautiful
But I’m darker than light
And you are wonderful
But this moment is mine...


(Hanging out at the sick sim, above the main drag.)

Maybe it's just a sign of burn-out. I'm no longer enchanted with scavenger hunts, what with the total and extreme glut of them, these days. Even the scavenger hunts for places I adore, like Falln, I don't always attend. And hunting out interesting freebies lacks appeal when my inventory groans at 62K.

All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone
And never coming back...


(Very large angry kitties on the sick sim.)

And really, while I enjoy dancing, and I do want to spend time with my friends...at this point, I'm not even going out of my way to strike up conversations with anyone. I rarely speak in Caledon chat anymore, and I keep pulling open one or the other graphics program, staring at it, thinking Why bother? and closing it.

All of this forgotten
Not by me...


(Ripple effects: looking up through the water at Alirium Gardens. The tree behind me is the Ordinary Tree in Insanity; it's a good name for such a random collection of wildly colored leaves.)

Maybe it's ennui. Maybe it's just something that happens to people who've been on the grid this long. I'm coming up on four years, this summer; maybe all the changes, all the frustration, all the selective deaf ears of the Lindens is finally wearing on me, to the point that I just don't have the patience to spend on the grid that I once had.

I find comfort here
'Cos I know what is lost
Hope is always fear
For the pain it may cost...


(Relaxed contemplation on the green at Alirium Gardens. The dress is part of Nomine's contributions to the Stumblebum line, in particular, the Skully Red Dust Storm dress. To date, it's the only 'babydoll' style I like, and have ever liked, on SL.)

Perhaps that's part of it, too. I'm still recovering from somewhat serious illness--the flu I had did not turn into pneumonia only due to extreme paranoia and overbearing diligence on the part of my loves, pouring medicants and herbal teas down my throat, making sure I kept warm, and making sure I stayed visible, which meant the wee netbook, propped on my lap. The netbook will run SL...barely. When I didn't have the energy to fight through the lag, I sat and sewed, or nodded off, awakened only by coughing or by the next dose of cough syrup, or the next cup of tea. I didn't touch my desktop for nearly a week.

And I have searched for the reason to go on
I’ve tried and I’ve tried
But it’s taking me so long
I might be better off
Closing my eyes
And God will come looking for me
In time...


(Meditating on "Elven" flowers at the Arachne Market.)

I'm still coughing, but that's the last trace of it. To me, my voice is still creak and crackle; to others, it is deep and mysterious, and to be fair, of the two, I'd rather be Mata Hari than a Mogwai after midnight, so it works.

All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone...


(I'm going to have to write and ask, because I am enough in love with The Deck's patio furniture, I want to know how much and where I can get--and while the pieces are all over the shop, the vendors for them are not.)

Maybe the desire to play on the grid will return. I do know that this patch of discontent is hitting at the worst possible time, as I'm attempting to get up and functional both my main store, and the satellite branch on the additional bit of Morgaine. I think there's all of three items, maybe four, at either location, and in Twilight Tears, I'm just unhappy all the way 'round with the build in the first place.

All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over--


(Building over Glidden.)

I may end up just going for a huge, hollowed-out megaprim, the dimension of the parcels I'm allowed to play with on Twilight Tears. Something gargantuan and empty, pattern the walls with stars, the ceiling with comets, the floor with grass...and put in trees and dances and more gravestones and fog....It's not that I lack ideas, just the drive to put them into physical form.

I can see myself
I look peaceful and pale
But underneath
I can barely inhale...


(Drifting down in a bubble looks more peaceful than it is. The bubbleport system just came down at my new main store above Twilight Tears, because we're working on a simpler, less erratic teleportation system. Even assuming that were fixed and purely functional, I just don't have the stock, at present. It's a very large empty store currently.)

It remains to be seen if my unabashed love for SL will triumph over disheartening cynicism. I'm not pulling either way, though I do know that--contrary to the last time I spoke of leaving--I would miss SL if I did go.

Maybe that's part of it, too. It would just take too much effort to leave and uproot everything. I have a home here. I have--if disjointed and lonely, at times--a life, here. And while it's not as vibrant as my first life, it does exist, still. In spite of it all.

I can hear myself singing that song
Over and over until it belongs to me...


(Can't go home again: where my home stood, two years ago, in Rivula.)

The Second Life of today would not have captured me in 2006, when I joined. But the Second Life I joined in 2006 is far, a thousand leagues far, from where we are now. M Linden seems to want nothing but business networking; there's still mass confusion over what's allowable and what's not, in terms of camping, lucky/unlucky chairs, and Adult ratings; and there's deep, deep unhappiness at the Labs. I predict more departures for better, less stressful, climes, by more Lindens who care about people, not profits.

Can't go home again, clichéd but true...but what happens when home leaves us, first?

(Lyrics are taken from "All of this Past" by Sarah Bettens.)