30 April, 2019

to wash off the dirt on the riverside

Couple quotes I nabbed from profiles to start:

"If my Master is lost, I'll find him. I'll lead him back to himself, because to serve doesn't always mean to follow."
~Joey W. Hill

"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."
~Anais Nin

I don't entirely agree with everything in Nin's statement, but I do like them both.

Moving on. Just to warn those who are interested in such things: SWANK'S Boho Chic Fair isn't. That is all.

Well, okay, I'll expand. Wild has one minidress in their booth. Glitter has one dress. K-tarsis maybe has one item, if you count peacock tattoos. Oh, and good gods, zfg just needs to pack up and go home; tie-dye is not "boho" anything. Vips Creations has two boho pieces, but one is in brown, yellow, turquoise and orange stripes, and the other is just...beyond comprehension. It's like a burlap sack with trim. EvoLove's dress offering is iffy, because of the chains; the template might work due to the draping, but the chains kill it.

On the other hand, Venge's booth actually has it together--four bits of jewelry, all appropriate. Was that so hard?? Oubliette has a lovely formal gown in a 1920's pattern. It's not bohemian in any way, unless you're thinking the actual, first Bohemian revival starting in 1910s Germany, and moving to France in the 1920s...but hey, it's pretty. Skindustrial Bodyworks has everything down pat, too--it's a strapless crop top and a long skirt embroidered with flowers, and a scarf as hip sash, in eight colors. Wild, in a separate booth for some reason, has one offering that's also pretty boho; I just wish the template fit me better.

And...that's it! Granted, I just went through the womens' fashion section, but...based just on that? I'm too depressed to continue.

So let's check in on What Not To Do With Avatars, part...I don't even know at this point. I present the latest exhibit:



Why. Just why. Okay, look, let's make one thing clear first. I have zero problem with the body, that is not the issue. That is the very least of my issues with her.

WHY IS HER TONGUE OUT??? That's the main one. WHY is she walking around a store just waving her tongue in the breeze? I don't get it.



Second, WHY DOES SHE HAVE NO FEET??? WHYYY???



And the last issue. I realize this is a perpetual complaint, but it's valid every time I say it. LOOK at those teensy little baby hands. Those completely nonfunctional child mannequin hands grafted onto an otherwise functional adult avatar. Why in the hell. Seriously, why in the hell.

There's obviously no explanation. And there's no excuse. I'm just disappointed.

24 April, 2019

electric fences line our new freeway

There are things in this video analysis that I've missed over the years, and I can't count the number of times I've seen the original Psycho. It's a brilliant breakdown.

To that end, there's also Super Eyepatch Wolf's evaluation of The Shining (the Kubrick original, mind) and why it's so unnerving to this day. Some of this I learned by reading interviews over the years, some of it, amusingly, came out of the conspiracy-laden film Room 237--which is also mentioned in Wolf's review--but some things were new.

Meanwhile...
[10:24] Kxxx Exxx: ~~~This is A Full Contact message! Please Read.~~~Alright its that time again. theres a lot of people that are on my list that are no longer active and its been a few years since the last time i cleared out my list. if you guys could message me back after you read this so i know your still active that would help out greatly. just say hi or wave or something so i know your still active so i know not to delete you off my list. Hope everyone has a great rest of the day! *Waves*
[10:25] Rxxxxx Ixxxx: wrong box?
[10:25] txxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: heh heh XD
[10:25] Mxxx Kxxx: maybe
[10:25] txxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: We're active -wiggles-
[10:25] mxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Please don't delete me ;W;
[10:27] Emilly Orr: There are a LOT of inactive people on my friendslist. Most of them are dead. I am NOT deleting them. You do you, but nah, I'm good here.
[10:27] nxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'm thinking someone put that in the wrong window lol
[10:29] Emilly Orr: Oh, absolutely, I just figured I'd point it out.


Son of meanwhile...this happened, and I'm somewhat conflicted over it. On the one hand, I understand the hurt in the community--City of Heroes was dear to many of us, and the outrage that there'd been a functional version of the game running for six years in secret, I totally understand that level of outrage.



But. I do think a lot of this is pretty hyperbolic, too. City of Heroes left several years ago. I was part of one of the early public servers that ran an old version of the game, and, after a year, it was just too depressing wandering through locations I loved, that were basically empty wastelands now. It never updated, it never changed, it was just...an old version of the game. That wasn't enough, at least for me, so after that year, I gave up.



Something beloved had been broken by corporate idiots who were both heartless and stupid (especially considering that City of Heroes was actually consistently in the black month after month, and Guild Wars, the game they killed CoH to shift resources to, was canceled entirely six months later), we lost something we valued, but then we moved on. It sounds very much, reading through that article, that some people forgot the moving on part.

23 April, 2019

I can't remember your name, I can't remember your face

Caught on a random profile: " I am voice verified RL Heterosexual lady." I have seen this, or variations of this, SO many times at this point, and it always makes me shake my head. First, why the hell does it matter? Second, yes, I realize people--especially guys--don't like being catfished, and that's perfectly understandable, but--if you never intend on meeting in person, then again--why does it matter? This is a virtual world for a reason.

I do recognize that many people have moved in with each other, have gotten married, from meeting in SL. I grant the full validity of that experience. I wouldn't have Miss Neome in my life, after all, if she hadn't met us in SL, and decided she wanted to be with us RL.

That being said, however, for the most part this doesn't happen. I think the most I've ever referred to specific gender on my profile for the past few years is "Female in all worlds". I know who I am, I know what I am, and I'm comfortable with that. I don't think I'd ever put down "voice verified" or even worse, "cam verified", because it's playing into that culture of paranoia and suspicion. I won't do that.

And flat out, I have chosen not to get to know certain people better because their profiles said they will only interact with the fully voice and cam verified whatever--usually females, these have usually been males putting this nonsense on their profiles. And I don't need that. You want to play that way, fine, but you're already putting a wedge in any future relationship by starting it off with unreasonable demands, and worse, that level of abject fear. If you are insecure enough to only ever interact with voice- and cam-verified people, then stay in RL. And demand every person you even take on a coffee date strip in a restaurant before you sit down.

And get used to being arrested, because you will be, and you know what? If you're that afraid that you might actually become friends with someone who shares your genitalia, then YOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED, for the dangerous sexual predator you are. And you're missing the whole point of personal interaction in the first place. Because not every 'hello' ends up with sharing a bank account.

21 April, 2019

ask yourself, where do we go from here?

This was sent as a text notice from one of my groups (actual name of group redacted):
"[XXXXX] extends our warmest wishes to you and your families on this important day. Whether you're religious or not, Easter is symbolic of resurrection and renewal, something wonderful replacing something awful, a spiritual rebirth. We each get to choose every day whether to be reborn as someone different and hopefully better. That's what SL and [XXXXX] are all about. Happy Easter!"
What's killing my brain about this? That "religious or not" line, followed by "spiritual rebirth". Christians, I get that Easter is important to you, and I even get why, but telling someone that it doesn't matter whether you believe or not, then following that with something that only Christians would say to each other....it's disingenuous at best, and outright hypocritical at worst.

Plus, good gods--and brace yourselves, you may need to sit down--NOT EVERYONE IS CHRISTIAN. I know, I know, shocking, right? But there are other holidays. Like Ostara for Celtic Wiccans. Like Pesach (Passover) for Jews. Like Ram Navami for Hindus, which falls near Easter some years. Or Hanuman Jayanti for Hindu followers of Hanuman, which also can fall around the same general time. Like Vaisakhi for Sikhs. Like the first day of Ridván for Baha'i, which falls generally around this time. Like Mahavir Jayanti for the Jains. Sigrblót for Ásatrúar falls around Easter, as well. For Zoroastrians, there's Nowruz. And I'm sure I'm leaving out a ton.

We're not asking y'all to stop saying Happy Easter. I think what we are asking is to keep in mind you have a multifaith audience, people. So wishing people spiritual rebirth, resurrection, and the importance of rebirth...It's just going to piss some of us off.

In other news...I know the designer behind Hayabusa is Japanese. I know that the Cassia fistula is a real tree. I know what it's commonly called.

And it must be said that the real version:



is very close to the in-world version:



But...all of that being said...it still struck me as odd that Hayabusa sent out a notice about their "Golden Shower" trees.

At least they're pretty.

20 April, 2019

can I get a witness?

Yes, there will be spoilers.

Out on Netflix right now is a horror film called Mercy Black. The trailer looked good. Sort of made it sound like another monster-of-the-week film, but I felt it had potential. Who I originally took for Shannon Doherty turned out to be Daniella Pineda, but she was pretty good in a role that basically wanted her to be alternately dread-filled, trembling and unnerved, and occasionally full-out screamingly frightened for two hours.

Filling out the cast are Lee Eddy as a wonderful librarian, Elle LaMont as the very frazzled sister of Marina (Ms. Pineda's character), Miles Emmon doing a star turn as Ms. LaMont's young son, and Janeane Garofalo as Marina's psychologist.

So what's the issue? Well, here's IMDb's brief story outline:
"Fifteen years after stabbing a classmate to conjure an imaginary phantom known as Mercy Black, Marina Hess is coming home. She's being released from psychiatric care to live with her sister and young nephew. But in the years since her crime, the myth of Mercy Black has gone viral inspiring internet rumors, stories, and even copycat crimes. Marina is haunted by what she has done and the phantom she imagined. Though she would rather leave the past buried, her nephew becomes increasingly obsessed with Mercy Black. To save him, Marina must face her past and uncover the truth behind Mercy Black. What she discovers is a very real and very deadly horror that will stop at nothing to claim her and her nephew."
Which doesn't really describe the film that well, actually.

The basic outline: In a plot device stolen directly from modern-day headlines, a somewhat disturbed girl convinces a friend to help her stab a third female classmate, because--and this is how direct it gets--"Mercy Black" lives in the woods, in a house that is not a house, and must be placated with human sacrifice to take their pain away. It's extremely derivative.

And it goes on its derivative way--the two girls get the friend into the woods, a finger of the friend is chopped off and tossed into the lake, and then they wait for Mercy Black to show up. The last flashback moment is young Marina looking out across the lake and screaming.



We then flash forward, to the last day adult Marina is in psychiatric care. Since childhood, she's been a ward of the state, in psychiatric lockdown. Her doctor has decided it's time to leave. We have no real idea of her age, but we assume she's at least in her twenties, because she doesn't appear eighteen.

With some trepidation, she leaves, returning to the guardianship of her sister, who has a young son by a father that has either absconded or died. (We're never told.) The child is quite serious, unexpectedly so. And hijinks ensue--things like his so-called friend coming over randomly to engage in power-over games which young Bryce dislikes, or standing motionless at Marina's bedside while she's having nightmares.

And from there, it's pretty traditional--sister is dating a jerk who wants to make money off Marisa's pain; town hears the "child killer" has returned to town and does their bit to make her life hell; Bryce spends time with the local librarian, asking her about Mercy Black, only to learn that the invented monster has apparently gone viral, with imitation murders, suicides with notes left mentioning Mercy Black, and scads of fanart from the unhealthily obsessed.

But here's where the interesting thread sneaks in. Marina was hospitalized, not jailed, because it was ascertained she was schizophrenic. Now, I am not crazy about mental illness = danger and homicidal impulses, but here it does seem to work. And, as we move through the scenes, there is a lot that can be interpreted as, Marina is not completely healed yet--she has nightmares, she sees things, she hears things. There is a very real part of this film that keeps popping up, that everything happening is quite likely all in her mind.



When things go off the rails--as, in any horror film, they surely will--there are thin threads of plot that seem to suggest Bryce may be the victim of hereditary schizophrenia. Which is not all that common, but does happen, and I was willing to suspend disbelief on this point. Even two-thirds of the way through the film, the indications are strong that Marina is slipping, and Bryce may be starting the slide into madness as well.



Marina's former psychologist is called by her sister, and she decides from that conversation to take a short leave of absence to see if speaking in person with Marina will tell her whether she's stable, or needs to go back to the ward. While that is going on, Bryce--who has gone off the rails himself--is attempting the murder of his so-called friend, and talking to the vent in his room, believing that Mercy Black is in the walls and asking him to promise her things to become physically incarnate in this world, so she can help him more. It's unnerving whether we believe it's a haunting or a mental concern, it works either way.


There's a lot of deathing. That's not surprising, it's a horror film. What was surprising to me is that Marina, fighting her own fear, actually finds the house that is not a house, and descends into it, and discovers nothing more than a dummy dressed as Mercy and the kind of childhood treasures that believing kids would gather. This pretty much clinches the "it's all in her mind" plot. Great, case closed, creepy film, good visuals, wrap it up...right?

But no. No, in a huge plot twist, the librarian is revealed to be the sacrificed childhood friend, who actually wanted to be sacrificed. She's killed most of the people who died to get to this point. Worse, the dressed-up mock Mercy comes to life underground, and Marina has to fight for survival. This makes no sense with all the work they've done to make this a psychological thriller. And the worst blow of all--the film ends with young Bryce having murdered his first person, while the dread presence of Mercy Black floats behind him.

So...is it all in Marina's mind? Is it an actual demonic presence? Is it another person on a murderous rampage? PICK one, movie, you can't have it going all these directions! It's confusing.

While I enjoyed the first half, I admit, the notes they drew out of the latter part turned me cold. And I ended up giving a thumbs down on Netflix, for all that the acting was actually decent, the setting worked, and the plot--for the first half, at least--worked. Ultimately, disappointing, which is all the more depressing because it could have been amazing, and stopped itself from being so.

In other news, I count two items that fit the "shabby chic" aesthetic at Shiny Shabby. Do any of the organizers actually know what "shabby chic" IS as a design style??

Shabby chic has nothing to do with nail polish, monochromatic furniture, tropical gowns. It's all about the faded and vintage. Tea-dyed fabrics, vintage ticking fabric, shades of pale rose, pale blue, ecru, sage, beige. The overall vibe is both feminine and worn--either actually vintage distressed antiques, or faux- distressing techniques, using white or cream paint under glaze with lightly applied sandpaper to the wood. There's a French Provincial sub-category, where everything is mercury glass, faded vintage lace, cabbage rose florals. There's another sub-category of Coastal, where the main tones are faded sea or sky blues and teals, tones of sand, pale green, rock grey. Where the main design details are fishing floats and netting, white-painted slats, bare branches and sea grasses in clear glass holders.

What Shiny Shabby is doing with the event is horrific. It's become just another shopping event, no style, no individuality, no originality, and certainly, very little offered for sale that actually is shabby chic. I am disappointed.

18 April, 2019

don't know why there's no sun up in the sky

Rolling restarts set my path on traveling, one after another as sims dissolved into ether around me. There were up sides, at least.



I landed next to the shore, which was next to a railroad track. Oh, someone knows me well.



In the distance, a small clapboard church, painted red. When I first saw it, because of the bend in the tree's trunk, I mistook it for a treehouse.



Nowadaays, most railroad crossing signs are either stamped metal, or painted metal or wood. But this is one of the older styles, metal rectangles covered in copper or brass studs. Very nice detail.



It was windy here. More importantly, it was overcast, with silver-shot bolts of lightning, cracking through the clouds. No thunder, though, which did add a looming foreboding to things.



More clapboard structures, homes this time, buoys, and scattered beach clutter.



The moon is very bright, and still hazed by cloud cover.



Remember when Lauren Bentham only did haunts? Well, Arranmore is her new project. (I say "new", but it's been up for quite some time. I just haven't walked the land until today.) I think I like it here.

You can see far better pictures than mine on the official Flickr for the sim.

17 April, 2019

I really should have seen through the airwaves

Just...why? Seriously, if your breasts are so large you can't see anything beyond them but head and thighs? Give up, they're too big.

While we're on the subject...OMG WHYYY??? Same company, and those basically obscure you from shoulders to ankles! No. Just no. Go outside and get some air!

Quote I found on a profile:
"If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation."
~Osho
He has a definite point.

In the meantime...



It's been on life support for a while, but I'm officially declaring the Wednesday Bikini Bash at Sakura deceased. Now we have a week to figure out what else we're going to do. Sad.

16 April, 2019

when by the water we drinks to the dregs

Seen at the Rotten Egg hunt:



It was made by Mistero Hifeng of Cammino e Vivo Capovolto. Interesting.

I went to his sim, and did discover the name of the piece is "Vivo qui, accanto a te", but no idea what it's priced at. Maybe he has a Marketplace page?



A-ha! There's a little open hatch with a pink arrow pointing into it. That takes people to the store below. And that particular statue retails for L$2000.

Bit pricey for me right now, but I do love his work. I may be checking back when I'm more flush.

14 April, 2019

I turn my vehicle beneath the river, west from south

So what happens when you go from here:



to here:



Well, if you're me, you do a lot of adjusting. You do find you miss changing species on a whim, but the flip side of that is, it's easier to accessorize, dress, and behave solely behind one face. Some days you think you'll lose the knack of shifting, lose the behaviors that came instinctively under different skins. But you adapt.

So what happens, then, when you go from here:



back to here:



Me, I found myself shopping for furs.

I don't mean coats. I mean, I spent a few hours strolling through Marketplace, and tracking down potential options for Kemono mods. I'm still looking for a good Arctic Fox mod--I've found some potentials for red fox mods, but I'd have to buy a separate head for the look. I found some pretty interesting spotted cats--or at least, spotted Kemono mods, because the Kemono avatar is sort of a cat, sort of a rabbit, sort of an anime creation all its own-- and a possible for the Arctic I'm actually looking for, but it has dark legs. I'll have to decide if that scotches it or not. Happy Paw's fox mod would also necessitate buying a separate head, though it looks better. (This also would require buying yet another head, but that look is very, very tempting on its own.)

There's also a Somali cat mod, which almost works on its own.

I'd also like to replace my former white bunny and black bunny, but looking through the Kemono options, I may have to give up and look for a full anthropomorphic rabbit avatar. Which is a larger investment than I wanted to make, because I already have the Kemono.

I'm also not crazy with the Siberian tiger options.

The ultimate search, though, didn't start earlier. I've been searching for about two years now, for a decent, fully furred and spotted (or striped) Maitreya skin. There's the Nekotron Mi'qote skin, but...it's not convincing enough for me, plus I'd have to wear the M3 Venus head, which I have, but I only wear it with the Kemono avatar, because it's very anime-girly. There's also the Tigra skin and the Leoparda skin, both from Catseye, which might be more useable because they also sell matching system skins. But again, they're just...not enough. No real face stripes, very few stripes or spots overall.

There's also throwing caution to the wind and investing in the Roxy system, but there's two distinct problems with that option, too. It requires the Paws head as well, and it's only Omega appliers. For a full cat, it might be awesome, but what I want for the Maitreya is the ability to wear a system skin (for my system head) and an applied Maitreya (or Omega) layer for the body skin. Because with this, I'm not looking for a full cat--I'm looking for a fully furred neko, a la the old Boneflower skins.

It's a puzzlement. But I'll work it out. Still, it might be time to get back to shifting again.

13 April, 2019

a million forms it takes, your disguise

Observed while shopping:



So, barring the antenna ears...and the blonde hair...and, well, the outfit...I'd be tempted to say "Drow". Save for one thing--Drow are usually either dark purple, dark blue, dark grey, shading up to mid-blue, mid-purple, or mid-grey. And in general, they have hair that ranges from pure white to silver to pale grey. But if she's not a Drow, then...?



Also, I'm not used to elves being quite so hippy. But hey, if anyone ever wondered if there were curvaceous black elves with serious booty in the world...I present Exhibit A.

12 April, 2019

but if it’s sunshine you’re after don’t bother me

Well, this is interesting, at least to me. Caution: while the names are anonymized, some things come up that identify the group this is from, so I'll just say it outright: this is a chat capture from Meli Imako's group.
[13:08] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Hi, [Exxxxxx] does not seem to want to reply to any note-cards so here it is for the mods to see. I hope you can understand why I would like to have this working. I did it in blue and pink with the black just to show the areas I surface textured but where you see the tearing in the skirt, I made that transparent so I could find out why ever single texture I did and redid was tearing through the belt area in the center which is now transparent for a moment. Here is why... Would you be upset? I know I am. I believe a group is here to help people with product support but feel as if my words have fallen on deaf ears.
This was the image he linked:



It does clearly show the issue, and the issue is baffling.
[13:10] Emilly Orr: Well, this could have been done without the passive-aggression, but that does look problematic. And it's not two pieces?
[13:10] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I do nope they can fix this as it is or claims to be for all body types. Could someone look at this and tell me why this happened? It looked like the mesh is warped.
[13:10] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Nope, it is a 1 piece
[13:10] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: turn off allow transparency maybe?
[13:10] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I did all of that
[13:11] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: when it is on, the blue tears through the black in the center
Which is very odd, for a traditional single-mesh object.
[13:11] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I textured in gimp and also PS but nothing works
[13:11] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: i'm sorry you are having this problem, [Jxxxxx]. i wish there was something i could do to help, but I am just a chat mod, not CS
[13:11] Emilly Orr: Hmm. I'm wondering if you textured the lower piece in the blue, but with a strip of white the same tone as the flare, a bit wider than where it's breaking through, would that work?
[13:11] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: it is as if the face of this item was divided into 2 pieces and pieced back together. I've never seen anything like this.
[13:12] Emilly Orr: That is very strange.
It is strange. Usually mesh templates are one solid piece with various faces to texture. Even if they're multi-piece templates, each template, individually, is generally one piece.
[13:12] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Here is what it looks like all finished so you see I did texture it but I do know errors happen.
[13:12] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: in edit mode alpha blending turn that off
[13:12] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: on the texture tab
[13:12] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I did all of that but it still tears
[13:13] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: then i do not know what it is
[13:13] Cxxxxxxxxx: make the texture a .png and make the part you don't want transparent
[13:13] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: that is a good idea
[13:13] Emilly Orr: Hmm. I nearly always work in .png, I didn't even think about the format.
[13:13] Axxxx Dxxxxxxxxx: whats the name of it? I will see if I got that one
[13:13] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I do also here is what it looks like
[13:13] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: It is called Preplum
And this was the image he linked:



Which is a very small image. I enlarged it as much as it would go without pixillating, which wasn't much.
[13:14] Emilly Orr: Now that is odd. On that version, it seems like there's no tearing.
[13:14] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: this shows you that I do know about alpha blending and masking also burn and dodge.
[13:14] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Emily the problem I was trying to present is when you wear it, the belt tears through
[13:15] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: it shows pink through the black
[13:15] Emilly Orr: I assumed nothing, [Jxxxxx]. I think we're all just trying to offer suggestions.
[13:15] Emilly Orr: Does it? I can't make it out in that, then.
Even embiggened, I can't make out where the pink tears through. But I went off to Marketplace, to try to find the outfit. Nothing came up on a search of the store.
[13:15] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: the under skirt poking through the middle, can you not just remove that part of the texture, and set the map to alpha masking? if it's a one peice you'll never see the belt
[13:16] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: so what I did was made it many face textures so everyone could see is all This is how looks the way I did it in a photo program and also just to make sure I even tried to do it all one color in the mid section but there was still bleeding in the warped areas.
[13:16] Emilly Orr: Hmm. She must not have it available on MP anymore.
[13:17] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: let me get the product # one sec
[13:18] Axxxx Dxxxxxxxxx: and you used edit, linked parts, select face, and just click on the mid section? I know with some of mine I have had to add the same texture just to multiple sections to get the right look
[13:19] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: MI962035 Peplum Dress FITMESH
[13:19] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Inside it has the maps called Specular_Ladies Business Dress
[13:20] Emilly Orr: PEPlum, oh, sorry, I typed in what you said earlier, Preplum.
I should've thought that through, I didn't. Peplum for that style makes much more sense.
[13:21] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I sure hope [Exx] can fix this. I have a huge demand for this particular item and pardon the typo Emily :) I did not think this would be received so well but people asked for it in many styles and colors.
[13:21] Emilly Orr: The product images aren't that helpful. With one exception, it shows the dress in solid colors.
[13:21] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I tried it in solid also but still the major bleed in the mid section
That sounds like a major flaw in the mesh. And you'd think one of the CSRs would have addressed it with the designers, worked something out with Mr. J.
[13:21] Emilly Orr: As far as the map shows, too, it looks like a solid piece. You'd think in that map, you could see if there's a separation in the mesh, so that's puzzling.
[13:22] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I don't see it in the map, so I noticed it had faces and went hmmm... So I just went to alpha on that one spot or face, and I went ah ha, that is what is wrong :)
[13:23] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: if you look inside the dress with no texture on or just a plain colour does it have the spiky bits on the inside?
[13:23] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: did someone already suggest masking out the belt?
If you wanted a two-piece look on one piece, you could do that, sure.
[13:23] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: Mhm, me! if it's a one peice, just cut it out, and mask
[13:24] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: yes, that's what i would do
[13:24] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: No, but even doing the masking didn't help
[13:24] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: unless you plan to alpha and remove the over skirt, you'll never ever see the belt
[13:24] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: i have had to do that many times with other things
[13:24] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: [Ixxxx] is right
[13:25] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: like... load the uv map, overlay it on your texture, and remove the first few lines of the belt, untill it's all gone, leave an alpha channel inside the image on export so it's RGBA, and inworld set the map to mask mode, with a threshold over 1
[13:26] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: completely delete it, no background, a hole, the alpha
[13:26] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: i wouldn't even go that far, just take out the belt and mask that face after you apply the texture, same result
[13:27] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: Mhm, I use the UV's so I can follow the edge loops mostly
[13:27] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: i never use channels, and RGB is default for sl
[13:27] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I'll give it a try but I had no idea that we had to finish a product we are to just texture. If that were the case I would have made it in marvelous, avastar and blender. But I will try it.
[13:27] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i saw that looks good
[13:27] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: yep i always use the UV maps for this
I feel like such a piker. I still don't know how UV maps actually function. But then, I'm still just using Gimp, not Blender, Maya or even PhotoShop.
[13:27] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wonder how many girls who wore that would get any work done lol
[13:27] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I did [Cxxxxxx]
[13:27] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: it is, but if you want masking, and removing parts, you need an A channel, I have some shirts I remove the back on entirely to go under jackets and coats, same thing
[13:28] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: [Ixxxx] I don't want masking is what I'm trying to say
[13:28] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: just delete the parts you dont want to see, leave the alpha in, and set the mode to masking so the rendered doesnt give bugs with blend modes and hair
[13:28] Emilly Orr: Because it can interfere in certain aspects, yes.
[13:28] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I want it to look like picture #2 I posted and not #1.
But...didn't he also say that picture #2 showed tearing as well? I'm confused.
[13:28] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: Then you'd have to match the white
[13:29] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: same thing, just use the UV as a guide, and match the texture on the belt, with the over skirt
[13:29] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: well, masking won't work for ppl who have the graphics set without basic shaders checked, that's true
[13:30] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: I can't see a reason to not have the basic shaders on though unless on a text only viewer in 2019, basic shaders disabled will usually even break the UI's transparancy rendering
[13:30] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: i know, me neither, but some ppl do that, i have seen it happen
I've done it on occasion, when the world seems to run really slowly. But yes, removing basic shaders distorts and re-shadows everything. It's something I only do in emergencies.
[13:31] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: i have a top i made that i had to mask out the pants attached to it
[13:31] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: and someone bought it, but said these white pants were attached lol
[13:31] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: eek!
[13:31] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: [Jxxxxxxxxxx] to me it looks like the bottom skirt pokes through the over laying top skirt is that what you are saying? I think I will have to buy the model to look at it
[13:31] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: come to find out she did not have basic shaders checked in her graphics settings
[13:31] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: [Cxxxxxx] I don't want to mask though, I want it to be as it is shown in the second picture. I even dropped the entire texture on it and still had bleeds both in world and out. My wish was that you all would see where the warping of the mesh where the faces came together would make you see why there is bleeding in the belt.
[13:32] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: [Pxxxxxxx] that is exactly what I'm saying thank you
[13:32] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: ok got it
[13:32] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: i see it on the first picture
[13:32] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Thank you
[13:33] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: i have had mesh like that in the end i had to use the same texture to hide it
[13:33] Cxxxxxx Pxxxx: i have experienced that as well [jxxxxx], with other mesh models, but worked around it. not saying that's the best way, but there are times when you have to
[13:34] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I would re-word the description then in the MP listing is all Just put "not multi-faced" one texture dress.
Save there's a problem with that. The pictures on the product listing shows one dress with a white top, a black belt, and a brown skirt. So if that works, it has to be at least three faces--four if you count the cap sleeves.
[13:36] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Anyway, I was trying to help any who ran into this issue but it seems I'm the only one who bought it so hey, it was a hit to the eyes from customers but a miss. It happens I still like MI.
[13:38] Emilly Orr: I would be fascinated to find out what's causing it, though.
[13:39] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: LOL i am tempted to by the dress just to see if I can texture it now
[13:40] Emilly Orr: I might do the same thing.
[13:40] Emilly Orr: Plus, I don't tend to make much modern attire, I've been focusing on medieval for a while. Maybe it's time I branch out. :D
[13:41] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: I think Medieval does better in sl
[13:41] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: role play
Maybe, or at least fantasy wear, but still, it's important to diversify.
[13:43] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: [Jxxxxx] i have the dress now, on the UV there is a kind of white guild line.... if you make that part transparent on your texture you might fix the problem
[13:44] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: anyway just going into photo shop to see
[13:44] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Thank you [Pxxxxxxx], if you can please try it on and see if when you are in AO mode if the bleeding happens I appreciate it.
[13:44] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: will do
[13:45] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Bless your heart
[13:45] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: did you want the short top with bare skin in the middel?
[13:45] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Nope, wanted a black belt like pic #2
[13:45] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: ok
[13:45] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: let me see what happens then
[13:46] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: If you can help me work around this, I will buy you a big coffee
Coffee is a goodness in the world.
[13:50] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: :D
[13:51] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: Ok i am sending you the texture full perm
[13:51] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: can you see where i blanked it out
[13:51] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: thank you looking now
[13:52] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: yes
[13:52] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: it seems to stop the poke through
[13:53] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: I will export this if you do not mind and try this out
[13:53] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: yes i want you to do that
[13:53] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: did you use this as your base layer?
[13:54] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: i used a transparent layer under
[13:54] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: just used the UV that is why it has no shading bla bla
[13:55] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: also allow alpha blending when you apply the texture to the model
[13:55] Ixxxxx Bxxxxxx: remember if set to alpha blend, and not mask, anything infront of it will that also has an alpha will cause issues, peoples hair, water, trees and leaves
Truth. I thought we'd solved the alpha glitch when mesh came along, but if hair has alpha blending on, there's a visible line around the hair itself that will show things behind the hair, or if say, down the back or front of an avatar, will show the skin around the hair. It's completely irritating. A partial fix is to click the hair, pull it into edit, and set alpha blending to none, but...it doesn't work with every hair, and about 60% of the time, it makes the hair look worse. (Always work on a copy, never the original, in case it breaks.)
[13:55] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Ok I will try this now Also try to put a texture over it if you don't mind me doing so.
[13:57] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: just use mine as a rough guide
[13:57] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: you might even be able to cut the skirt lower under the over skirt
[13:57] Jxxxxxxxxxx Axxxxx: thank you very much you are a gem :)
[13:57] Pxxxxxxx Pxxx: you are welcome
So it seems the issue might have been resolved, but what it tells me is I need to look into more of how alpha masking works, because if plain alpha texturing can cause alpha glitching (and we know it does), and surfaces alpha-masked won't, I need to use alpha masking more.

she's a very kinky girl, the kind you don't take home to mother

I would say the Kinky event is getting slightly...odd.



Weirdly, I expect nudity. I expect chains. I should expect vaguely ecclesiastic attire, as well, but this threw me.

Like, this happened in chat while I was there:
[09:32] adorsy - Sharon Shorts: [Exxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx] wants to see the goods
[09:35] adorsy - Sharon Shorts: [Rxxxxxxx Bxxxxxx] prefers normal stuff!
[09:35] adorsy - Sharon Shorts: [Rxxxxxxx Bxxxxxx] accidentally unzipped the shorts...oops
That, I expect. The ornamented brocade and papal crown on a nude statue? Not so much.

In other news, guess what bug's back?



Yep--the sit-down-get-sent-to-limbo bug! Bother.

11 April, 2019

the alternative’s nothingness, might as well give it a try



Well, this is new. Seen at the Hipster Fair. Wonder how long that booth's going to stay up?



In other news...I guess that's one way to put up a gaming table. The most dangerous game--playing at an extreme angle! 

10 April, 2019

and I know I'll have to swim soon when the water gets too high

Before this conversation took place, I'd gone by my cabin on the sim, and removed everything that was mine. I had started to regret that move when the discussion opened. I don't regret it now.

Again, heavily, heavily anonymized, but I did want to try to get across why this had upset me so.
[21:10] Emilly Orr: [xxxxx]...the notice you sent out yesterday....I have some concerns.
[21:18] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: Yes?
[21:19] Emilly Orr: While I know, positively, I am not one of the women who are jealous, you do know I came into the sim as a thrall, right?
[21:20] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: Yes, and you're right... it wasn't directed at you
So, first excuse: "I didn't mean you". Also, I think it never occurred to him that he was potentially lumping me in with the one or ones with which he was angry, at least subconsciously implying that my status means nothing to him as well.
[21:20] Emilly Orr: But it was sent out to the whole of the group.
[21:20] Emilly Orr: I own myself. I have opinions. My will is my own. I am not chattel, not a dog, not a cow, and most CERTAINLY not a piece of meat.
[21:20] Emilly Orr: That was a Gorean manifesto start to finish. So I want to know why.
[21:22] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: It because of a continung problem with [xxxx].
[21:23] Emilly Orr: So why not just address [xxxx]?
This was my biggest question for all of yesterday. Why didn't he just address [xxxx] directly? Why did he send out poisoned arrows to everyone on the sim? Why did he make something this dark and ugly so very public?
[21:23] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: it was done in anger, Em
[21:23] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: I lost my temper.
[21:23] Emilly Orr: I figured that.
[21:23] Emilly Orr: But you demeaned every single woman on the sim.
I really don't think he's getting that.
[21:26] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: I'll apologize to you and any other who brings it up. I didn't even remember that you were a thrall.
Confirmed--he didn't remember I was the class he was putting under his boot. 'No, I'm not a racist, I have black friends.' 'Hey, I'm a feminist, I only beat my wife when she deserves it.' 'The only good Injun is a dead Injun. Cept for the bartender, right?' (That one I heard in person, a lot, when I was growing up in a small logging town.) 'All women are sluts. Oh, but not you, baby, YOU'RE not.'

He truly doesn't understand that he was exposing EXACTLY what he thinks about slaves, whether they're submissives in modern realms, kajirae in Gor, or thralls on his own sim.
[21:27] Emilly Orr: There's a basic disconnect here, is the thing I'm trying to bring up.
[21:27] Emilly Orr: Apologies are fine, but often times, in anger, while we may say things we wouldn't normally, they are the things inside us.
[21:27] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: please bring it up
I tried. I really tried.
[21:28] Emilly Orr: Even in Gor, most kajirae aren't treated so poorly. Even red or white unrestricted, even paga sluts.
[21:28] Emilly Orr: I think *maybe* camp girls, coin girls, might *possibly* fit the level of utter disregard you sent out in that notice.
[21:29] Emilly Orr: So how are the women in your group, and most especially the thralls who are not [xxxx], supposed to trust you in any way now?
[21:29] Emilly Orr: When all you think of us is that we're mindless drones with holes, just meat to take?
[21:30] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: You know that isn't part of my character
[21:30] Emilly Orr: No, I don't know that now.
[21:30] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: I don't behave that way
[21:30] Emilly Orr: You do. Read your notice.
To wit:
"You own nothing; You have no opinion; Your will is not your own; You are chattel, no better than a cow or a dog or simply a piece of meat."

I don't know how else to interpret that.
[21:30] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: I read it yes...
[21:30] Emilly Orr: But you don't get it.
I tried to find another way to get through to him, that this was larger than just a bit of sniping.
[21:30] Emilly Orr: Okay, let's take this from another angle.
[21:31] Emilly Orr: The reason I was on board with your system of thralls, free and nobility is that thralls were not just meat for anyone.
[21:31] Emilly Orr: They had agency. They had wills. If they were skilled in a thing, they could be paid for their services. They could buy out of thralldom, and become free.
[21:32] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: I certainly botched that one
Anger can be cleansing, but it can also be a weapon. I think it's clear which one it was here.
[21:32] Emilly Orr: What part, of any of that--which is clear in the histories--says "you own nothing, have no opinion"? What part of that says "chattel" or "dog" or "meat"?
[21:32] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: In our sim, none of it
[21:33] Emilly Orr: But you own the sim.
[21:33] Emilly Orr: Your word is law.
[21:33] Emilly Orr: And you think nothing of us.
[21:33] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: I had a situation that I lashed out in anger
[21:33] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: That is the impression I've given. I see that
[21:34] Emilly Orr: Yes.
Unfortunate that he only seems to see that now, post-notice.
[21:34] Emilly Orr: How are you going to patch this up with the rest of the sim? You took a highly personal issue, and made it public, in the most insulting way possible? Following it up with a notice saying "oops" is not going to fix it. How are you going to patch this up for everyone else on your sim?
[21:35] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: I'm not afraid to take ownership of my mistakes or blunders.
[21:36] Emilly Orr: This...[xxxxx], this is not a blunder.
[21:36] Emilly Orr: This is a complete violation. This is why people think you're Gorean.
[21:36] Emilly Orr: I thought people were just spreading rumors, but right here, this is why.
Of note here: both times I brought up Gorean practices, he dodged, refused to even address it. That also makes a statement.
[21:37] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: That's the first time I've have ever made a public statement like that.
[21:37] Emilly Orr: The damage is already done at this point.
[21:37] Emilly Orr: I asked if you knew why you did it, you said you got angry. What happens the next time you get angry?
[21:40] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: that doesn't happen often.. I wont lash out like I did.
He says that now. I...I don't think I can trust him now.
[21:40] Emilly Orr: I think we've reached the point of disconnection. You don't seem to understand, and I don't want to further attempt to persuade you.
[21:40] Emilly Orr: I do wish you and [Xxxx], and [xxxxx], all the best. And I sincerely hope things work out with [xxxx]. And I wish you all success with your sim.
[21:41] Emilly Orr: But I've cleared out the cabin, and I'm going to leave the group.
[21:41] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: I'm sorry to hear that
[21:41] Emilly Orr: I am, too.
[21:41] Emilly Orr: I'm sorry to say it.
On something this close to me, this deeply scarring, I cannot fight past this point, Withdrawing is the only option left.
[21:42] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: and I believe I'll be sorthing things out with [xxxx].
[21:43] Emilly Orr: I realize you were angry. I do understand that. We all do things that are unwise when angry. But this went far deeper. Maybe it's me; I do have past emotional trauma. But if that part of you is only active 5% of the time, that still means it's there.
[21:44] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: After what your said it made me think and I realized that it was mean of me. It was just plain mean.
[21:44] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: so, for that I am deeply sorry.
Again, of note: he's sorry now, post-notice.
[21:44] Emilly Orr nods.
[21:45] Emilly Orr: Accepted.
[21:45] Emilly Orr: Safe travels, [xxxxx].
[21:45] [xxxxxxxxxxxx]: Farewell, Emilly. You've been a marvelous help to the sim and to me.
So...there it stands. I've left the group and changed my profile. It is a bleak day.

In talks with someone else, a few additional things came up.
[21:21] Emilly Orr: First excuse offered, while you were gone: "Oh, I didn't mean you."
[21:24] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: i am sure he didn't, but not the point
[21:24] Emilly Orr: Second excuse: "I was angry."
[21:26] Emilly Orr: [21:26] [xxxxxxxxxxx]: I'll apologize to you and any other who brings it up. I didn't even remember that you were a thrall.
[21:27] Emilly Orr: He doesn't get it.
[21:27] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: *nods*
Then, a bit later on:
[21:32] Emilly Orr: I'm not sure I'm getting anywhere.
[21:35] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: *considers* It seems he knows he did wrong, but not why
[21:35] Emilly Orr: I was thinking it was possibly rash to clear out my cottage before you got online, but now I'm pretty sure I did the right thing.
[21:38] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It is likely time to move on from it *nods*
[21:38] Emilly Orr nods.
I had already decided at this point, but also at this point, I was still trying to explain, as calmly as I could, why I was going to leave the sim.
[21:38] Emilly Orr: I hate doing this. Because he's really not going to get why I'm leaving. He's clinging to he just lashed out, he's a good guy.
[21:41] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: considers
[21:41] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: he might well be, but steeped in sl gor
[21:41] Emilly Orr nods
[21:43] Emilly Orr: One last attempt, though I have already told him I'm leaving.
[21:46] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx rubs your shoulders slowly
[21:47] Emilly Orr: So, he said the notice was mean, and that he's sorry.
[21:47] Emilly Orr: So...there it sits.
[21:49] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: it hinges on the sort of person you think he is, here
[21:49] Emilly Orr: I think he's mostly good, with a very dark side.
[21:49] Emilly Orr: I just never considered that dark side also had a cruel misogynistic angle.
And again, maybe it IS me. I have a bad past. I carry a lot of damage. I'm working on it, but I can tell when something's close to setting off a depth charge of anxiety and nightmares. This was close.
[21:58] Emilly Orr: I may not defriend him over this. I just can't participate in the sim anymore.
[21:59] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: nods
[22:00] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It is the right decision.
And one last thing:
[22:13] Emilly Orr: Okay, so why did it hurt more to remove the sim from my picks than it did to tell him I was leaving?
I still don't know, but it did. I guess because it felt more final.

But cue the sea chanties, and the ship sailing away. I'm gone.

adam & eve's offerings for Ice and Fire

Now we move on to Ms. sachi Vixen's offerings for the Game of Thrones-theme event, Ice and Fire. I admit, I'm of two minds on this. On the one hand, I believe strongly in homage, as in, fans of a thing recreating that thing, either for sale or private use. On the other hand, there's that whole copyright infringement angle.

However, with at least adam and eve's offerings, while they do resemble some of the noble house symbols, they are not exact representations. Therefore...they skate that line, but I don't think they push past it.



This is part of the Kraken jewelry pack. This is the brooch in bright copper. It's unrigged, so it can be repositioned to a better place on the chest, and I would assume--though did not test--that if it is unrigged, it might be able to be resized.



This is the brooch in a burnished bronze. It comes in six metal colors total.



It also comes in a pendant version, also unrigged. This is the Kraken in gold.



This is it in bright silver.



And there's an included necklace thong HUD--this is it in black silk. The natural linen thong can be seen in the first pendant pictures. Not shown: the white silk option.



I also received a circle brooch with an embossed lion head on it. Shown in the bright copper again.



And this is the steel, which is a color I don't think has been shown before. The Lion pack also comes with pendant versions, and the brooch/pendant metal HUD, and the pendant thong HUD.

The seraphimsl.com blog shows all of them in silver, and they're going for L$225 a set--which, remember, includes the broach, the pendant version, and HUDs to change the metal and the necklace thong tones for each set.

I've got a three day headache and it's all in my head

It's the 30th of March. One day before Ostara. And there's been a lot of...well. Conversations like the one below. [18:43] Emil...