this is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a whimper

Title, of course, taken from T.S. Eliot's The Hollow Men.

Seen on a random profile:

"I feel a good submissive should be like an Italian Courtesan of the middle Ages. Loyal, obedient, subservient, and if you mistreat them they slit your throat before you have a chance to apologize."

Sadly, no author was listed, and Google isn't saying.

But I do tend to agree.

And I try to stay away from direct copyright violation, but this seems enough different...I think I've found this year's Halloween costume for the Sakura ball. Sadly, Salt and Pepper sells each dress separately from the gloves, but I was able to pick up the red dress, and the purple gloves, so...that will be fun.

Now to other matters, and I'll make this brief. It has been a day. Sniping, accusations, insane misbehavior on the part of more than one person at many times during the day, all of it accusing me or mine of things we've never done, wouldn't do, and don't intend to do. The last straw was someone's alt coming after my partner for something I've written on here, so...that's it. That's all, I'm done.

Observant readers will find one singular mention of a particular roleplay sim in tags. That is the only entry that now links to that particular roleplay sim, and that is only left intact because that sim's blog linked to it in an entry there. If they wish to let me know they're taking down the link, I'll happily delete the entry. It's up to them.

All other entries have been edited to remove any references to places, sims, or people on them by name. The pictures are the same, but beyond that, nothing else directly points to a particular place.

And there will be NO further mention of this particular roleplay sim on this blog in future, because apparently, some people never made it out of junior high emotionally, and are getting snippy.

So. That's it. The blog's clear. Everyone happy now? We are most decidedly moving on.

but now it's gone, it doesn't matter what for

"Three separate ER nurses have either rolled their eyes at me or called me 'lame' for dropping a hatchet on my own head. Everyone's a critic."
~John Roderick

In the meantime, have a list of twenty-five very creepy things kids have said, and a lovely explanation for candle flame (though the title of that particular Tumblr blog is somewhat NSFW).

Have six silent films for a dark and story night, as well, and an amazing treasure trove of very early French animation. Such a phenomenal accomplishment.

But, none of those are why I'm posting this. This is...considerably less amusing. Because all things change, all things end, all things pass. It's the nature of life.



And some dreams die.

I may still attend dances at that lovely little club, and I did forget the little beach nook pillows I'd put out, so I'll have to return for those, and I will miss Jeffery's superb house red. But...dishonor is the order of the day, and sometimes, we simply must accept that other people do not hold personal honor in the same regard that we do.



The dinner party was fun, though. More formal than I expected, but fun. A friend and acolyte in the Companions' Guild was celebrating 90 days on the grid. We take moments of joy where we can, and that is one I'll cherish.

But the Sphinx-Templar Syndicate has closed up operations. The office stands empty, our ships have been ordered to redirect elsewhere. The great mystery of the mysterious island may have to be unsolved. More's the pity.

There are other ports of call. We will find them. This harms us not in the least...something that certain people truly should consider, but sadly, I don't think they will. Maybe they'll grow out of it, maybe not, but either way, it's nothing to do with us anymore.

We're off to find new adventures, and we'll see what happens then.

your misery and hate will kill us all

(Roleplay entry, because of where it is, but this one is also very, very real.)



It's not where she wants to be, to be sure. And also of a surety, she is very clear that today, at least, she only has one person she wants to talk to--Jeffery the bartender. Because he has that superlative house red on tap.



She wonders, too, once she's downed the first glass, and walked out with the second to a secluded spot on the beach to sit, the power of words. And accusations. And how quick trust can break. She sits, listening to the surf, breathing.

Because this wasn't the first time. And because there was warning. And we are still here again. This shouldn't have happened.

She sighs, realizing the glass is empty again. She ponders getting a third, and decides against it, walking back to her little office. Looking around the place she's started to consider a comfortable working space, counting up the cost of trust lost and bitter, contentious untruths.



The books, certainly. Those will go, packed up to return to the Gearhaven library. The worktables, definitely.



The altar in the corner can stay for now, and the map, until she's ready to take it down. But she's clearing the desk of everything until she knows more.



She walks downstairs, and out the doors, and then looks back at the small shop. Duke Hiro's banner...should she leave it up or take it down? She'll have to ask, she thinks. That should be his decision.



She ports to the Black Moth, parked just out of sight, and on the flight back to Gearhaven, she sends a wire for one of the Gray Area's crew, when they return, to stop by the office and return the crates to the flagship.

And we'll see what happens from here. I had a few more entries to do on events there, and happenings thereon, but...we're tabling that for now, I think. Until we know more. Until the distrust and the blatant violation issues are addressed.

she tried her best and now she can't win it

all my friends say "when you gon' play?"
I'm always too busy, I don't need to stay up late
but I change my mind when I see your face
'cause I trust you

It's here. We're here. Void stars, it's...there was no time. There was so much less time than I thought.



now it's on like Revlon, middle of the night
gimme just a minute, man, I'm higher than a kite
and I can't come down, but I know I'll be all right
Because I trust you

I...trust. The trust has not left. The trust is firm. There is still a fixed star to my wand'ring bark. That has not changed.

Everything else has.



when you say "hey, come on,"
I know I really, really want to
I trust you

That's never been the problem.



when I stay, I know I really ought to go
but then I trust you

And that, I should never have done. I knew better, but I pushed it aside. I knew the rules, but I didn't want to think about them. The backlash started before we ever got here.



I trust you
I trust you

The backlash was still a slow, persistent hum from the last time this misunderstanding flared.



Why are we here again? I did want to know, do...want to know. But...now it no longer matters. There's no going back, no rethinking, we are now on the far shore. Oceans of misunderstanding between us. There's no ship bound for home.



when you say "hey, come on"
I know I will because I trust you
I trust you

Now nothing matters.

I like to think that I am reasonable
but I can't tell you why I'm down on the floor
I check my hair, but I don't know what it's for
I know tomorrow that I'll trust you some more

Now I start crawling across broken glass. Glass I shattered. Glass I watched others shatter. Doesn't matter, it's still in my way.



when you say "hey, come on,"
I know I really, really want to
I trust you

And it's the only way out. At least it's on brand.

when I stay, I know I really ought to go
but then I trust you
I trust you
I trust you
I trust you

Maybe I do need a keeper, just so I won't get more cracks across the glaze. Though I have so many at this point, it's hard to discern my original pattern anyway.



I keep on making bad decisions cause I

I just have to keep going.

I keep on drinking what you're giving cause I

I just have to keep going.

I keep on making bad decisions cause I


I just have to keep going.

I keep on drinking what you're giving cause I--

I have to get out of here.

(Pictures taken at Death Row's mainstore (South), POST's mainstore, After the Fall, DarkRadiance and Little Bat's mainstore. Song is "Trust You by Rob Thomas.)

toil and trouble, grief and pain, nothing ever changes, always stays the same

Stepping away from Hair Fair coverage for the nonce...

[18:06] lxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: sorry to spam but this is important
[18:06] lxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: brief notice from linden labs ,theres a group call 2nd life shop going around, giving away free ao's
[18:06] lxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: after you accept and wear ao would steal your avatar id and would take all your lindens , please becarful and dont accept this ao pass the word around to friends ty

Since I logged in, I've seen this a total of six times. It's just more rumorspam; it means nothing. And it was starting to get severely irritating.

[18:07] hxxxx Zxxx: Thats bulls***
[18:07] jxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i saw this same message in like 4 other groups in the past 30 mins
[18:07] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lolwat
[18:07] hxxxx Zxxx: Theres no way for an object to take linden without permission that you have to grant with a dialog message.

Seriously, there isn't. There never has been.

[18:07] ixxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ban the spammer plz
[18:07] Emilly Orr: No no no no no no no.
[18:07] Emilly Orr: Not important, not from Linden Labs, sixth group I've seen this in today, plzstopplzplzstop.

On reflection, yes, that could easily be read as a hostile reply. I'm overstressed, overtired, and undermedicated RL, and most of those conditions are likely to continue for at least another week to full month. It's very, very easy right now for me to lash out, though--at the time this happened--I didn't see it as lashing out.

[18:07] mxxxxxx Wxxxxxx: You need to accept the message to give lindens away
[18:08] lxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: true or not at least people know now
[18:08] Emilly Orr: It doesn't MATTER what they know.
[18:08] lxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: god contraption is full of jerks
[18:08] Cxxxxx Mxxxxxx: I wish ppl would do a little research before mass spamming and raising everyones blood pressure. Aint nobody got time for that.

My thoughts exactly. And I'd said much the same thing in five other groups before this happened.

[18:08] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if it was a message from linden labs they wouldn't need you to spread the word
[18:08] Emilly Orr: Look. The message to take Lindens from your account is ALWAYS yellow, is ALWAYS directly from Linden Labs.
[18:08] axxxxx Kxxx: agreed
[18:09] axxxxx Kxxx: bunch of nasty people. hes trying to warn people and your all treating him like crap

And okay, fine, on reflection, I acknowledge we jumped on him for this. I at least was tired, was not in the best mood to be in world in the first place, and was really, really, tired of hearing this over and over.

[18:09] cxxxxxx Lxx: Actually there is some truth to it.

Where? Point me the link that says yes, attaching an AO can, with no further drop-down warning or security request, just randomly take all your Lindens and scamper off, muahahahaha. Show me somewhere official it says that that can ever, at all, under any conditions, be true.

[18:09] Cxxxxx Mxxxxxx: Is there a secondlife snopes?

Not as far as I know. But oh, how I wish there was.

[18:09] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: people aren't jerks, it's just what you are saying is complete crap
[18:09] mxxxxxx Wxxxxxx: Its because... that old ao thing getting your lindens...
[18:09] mxxxxxx Wxxxxxx: it tires after a time
[18:09] hxxxx Zxxx: If his warnign had any factual parts to it i would.
[18:09] cxxxxx Dxxxxxxxx: Not to take sides here, but you guys should chill out.. he/she came with good intent just trying to inform others. - Besides, some are silly enough to accept permissions from items; think about how people refuse to read bright red signs. lol

I remain unsure. On the one hand, this is true, because by and large, people--all of us, at one time or another--are dumb. We do stupid things without thinking. The thing is, it's a big leap from "X hacker attacked Linden Lab and stole the credit card database file" (which did happen, several years back) to "logging in and putting on an AO can drain all your Lindens, ohNO" (which just can't happen unless you, personally, grant those permissions to the object).

[18:09] Emilly Orr: If you're not a merchant working on a vendor, and you see a yellow drop-down asking for permission to take L$ from you, just decline.
[18:10] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Amen Cxxxxx
[18:10] ixxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that message has been going around for years hes not informing anyone of anythign real
[18:10] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: now enough of this conversation !
[18:10] cxxxxxx Lxx: If you put on the AO, it does prompt you to click something.

And if it does, and you see that it's prompting you to click "accept permission to access your Lindens", and it's a BRIGHT YELLOW DROP-DOWN, then DECLINE. How hard is that?

[Brief insert for correction: apparently in the official V3 SL client, it's not a yellow drop-down window, it's a black drop-down window. Because all the drop-down windows are now black in the V3 client. Still, though, it has bright orange text, so that's still a separation from the norm...it's just not as obvious a separation. Which, personally, I think is a huge mistake on LL's part, but hey, it's not the first one they've made.]

[18:10] axxxxx Kxxx: ive never heard of it before and ive been on sl for years
[18:10] Emilly Orr: I think many of us have seen this many times today, and it's getting old. It's inaccurate information. No one's bothering to verify it, they're just passing it along.
[18:10] bxxxxxx Fxxx: good god! This stupid paranoia s*** has been spamming up everyone of my groups.
[18:10] sxxx Cxxxx: yes, thank's Word. I'm sure there's some less experienced reidents who finds this info useful... both the warning and the info following debunking it

And...then the chat started going sideways.

[18:11] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Ok so someone tried to be nice and got jumped all over for it, That's usually the case in SL. Take what info you find here and use it or not but stop bitching about it for GOds sake .
[18:12] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: complaining is great, if everyone jsut closed everything rather then tackling it head on like a champion, everything would be boring, and people like wxxx would not learn.
[18:12] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: no complaining is NOT great Bxxx
[18:12] dxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: just shut up and get over your selves if your going to complain about a warning :V if you really think its s*** then just close the f****** chat we dont need your two cents on how stupid someoen is or something

I don't think any of us said that the initial poster was stupid.

[18:12] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: complaining is fantastic jules
[18:13] mxxxxxx Sxxxxx: i should write a book about how gay all of you are for crying in some store chat about people being mean to you

It took me a minute to catch that.

[18:13] Emilly Orr: Dxxxxxx, I'm not complaining. I am doing what I can to stop the spread of misinformation.
[18:13] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: fixes the chat so that I only get infor from the group owner and not from anyone else here from now on
[18:13] Emilly Orr sighs. Oh, and that's all we need, a gay slur for no reason.

Because seriously, as tired as I am of hearing that spam "notice" go around, I'm ten thousand times more tired of "gay" being a catch-all "this is stupid" word.

[18:13] dxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: then dont get all agro about it
[18:13] dxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: calmly state that it may not have truth
[18:14] mxxxxxx Sxxxxx: gay as in happy lady god dont get all torn up about it
[18:14] Emilly Orr: That's not how you meant it, though.
[18:14] mxxxxxx Sxxxxx: how do you know ?

Because every time someone uses "gay" to mean "lame", or "bad" or "dumb", they're using the word wrong. And it is terribly pervasive, in at least American culture, in many places. Someone doesn't want to spray-paint a wall in an urban area: "Don't be a fag". Someone does something another player doesn't like in an online MMO: "dude, you're so gay". This equates "gay" as being the worst thing someone can be, and it's literally the first slang word many of us reach for, whether we want to or not, because we hear it all the goddamn time.

Example. I watch a lot of Rooster Teeth videos. They're a group of guys who never really evolved out of high school, but they have fun, and they play games I'll likely never have the consoles for, so I can watch them play and get my gaming fix that way.

But seriously, some videos, every two minutes one of the guys is saying to another of the guys that they're gay, or fags, or that they take it up the ass...it's like breathing for them, it's the culture they've been steeped in, online and off, for over a decade.

How do we fight prejudice like that? How do we fight prejudice that demeans us even in things that are supposed to be fun, relaxing, escapes from our daily stress? If it's that pervasive, to the point that we have members of our communities simultaneously saying they support gay rights, then on the other hand, call a player who shot them a faggot...what does that tell us? How can we trust the words of support if they're still using other words to tell us that we don't deserve those rights, that we aren't human enough to have them?

[18:14] dxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: we arnt talking about the context of how they used gay

Actually, yeah, for me at least, the conversation had very definitely moved in that direction. But I was still responding to other comments; the whole 'gay' debate hadn't yet sunk in. I'm slow when I'm stressed.

[18:14] mxxxxxx Sxxxxx: you all seem very happy fighting in a pixel world
[18:14] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: rxxx didn't mean gay as in queer either.
[18:14] dxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: or how they are obviously trying to get your goat
[18:15] dxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: why does any of this even matter lol
[18:15] Emilly Orr: Fine, whatever, scream about AOs taking your Lindens, go have mass fun.
[18:15] dxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: because this is secondlife and EVERYTHING MATTERS
[18:15] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: when someonesays something is gay as an insult, they dont literally mean it is homosexual.

Yes, actually, they do. Every single damn time. That's exactly what they mean, and if you don't think so when you hear it, or if you don't think so when you do it, then, friends and neighbors, YOU ARE WRONG. Because that's what the word means. That's one more thorn in our sides, every time we hear the word used. Of course that's what they meant, because THEY CAN'T MEAN ANYTHING ELSE.

[18:15] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx allows her palm to become familiar with her forehead.
[18:15] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that would be absurd
[18:15] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and makes no sense
[18:15] mxxxxxx Sxxxxx: lol
[18:16] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no need to get so deffensive
[18:16] Emilly Orr: It's never made any sense. People still do it, though. They seem to think "gay", "faggot", "fag" and "queer" just mean "lame".
[18:16] ixxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh piss off you nazi bastard
[18:16] Emilly Orr: .....

I admit, at this point, I just stopped for a moment. I'd been taking pics for Hair Fair, answering chat in another screen, and suddenly, everything stopped for me. We'd started out trying to correct a spammer, and now we were gay for our efforts, and Nazis. I was in shock.

[18:16] mxxxxxx Sxxxxx: i was just saying you guys seem to be havin alot of fun thats all i need to write a book about happy people to inspire myself and others to be as happy as you are
[18:16] ixxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh i didnt mean nazi as in THOSE nazis
[18:16] dxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: everyone calm your tits and boners tentacles wing boners etc.

How? How are we supposed to calm down from these things? We live in a country where our technology tracks our conversations, our concerns, and our largest software firms have handed over all the keys to the intricacies of their programs, for easier access to the new Big Brother. We live in a country where stalking someone, and shooting someone, even if they were unarmed and underage, is fine as long as you're male, and white. We live in a country where hackers get more jail time than rapists, where any of us, at any time, can be declared an enemy of the state and dragged out of our homes, and taken to a place with no access to legal defense and no charges placed.

And when we dare to speak up, about the smallest of these issues, we're hit with vituperative insults--and then told we're being oversensitive when we see them for the savage imprecations they are.

[18:16] oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: words evolve
[18:16]oxxxx Rxxxxxxx: they do

While yes, they do, in this case, no. This word has not evolved. It still means what it's always meant, but people just don't care to think it through. They don't care what it says to the gay community, because--surprise!--they don't care about gay people.

But at this point, I was done. I had officially hit my stress limit for the day.

[18:16] Emilly Orr: Okay, suddenly I'm on the "you people are all jerks" side.

Not enough to leave the group, but enough for me to pretty much close the window every time it opens, or remove myself from the ability to send and receive chat. Because...maybe my skin's a little thin, today, but there's no reason for anyone to go on that heavy an attack just for me trying to stem the tide of spam. No reason.

None.

our safe hearts feeling dangerous; missing truth frozen in lies

Lucie Bluebird put up an expressive post on why One Voice is so important. I'd recommend you check it out.

The Dani 4G blog has more pictures, and a SLUrl to the One Voice event itself.

Why you should support One Voice: forget about Gala for the moment. Yes, the fundraiser's for her legal fees, but seriously, set her aside for right now. The issue is much larger, and much more serious, than just one designer.

Why? Because Gala Phoenix did what we're told we're supposed to do: when we suspect copyright tampering, or IP infringement, we're told to file a DMCA. Because that's the first step, right? Filling it out completely and accurately is how we solve things.

Only...that didn't work in this case. Hush Darkrose--who's been in trouble regarding copyright before, and who's currently lifted digital items from more than just Curio--filed a counter-DMCA, then filed for copyright on her skins, then wrote the malicious blog post which started all this off...ultimately, which severed Gala's ability to keep creating--while still being forced to pay tier to the Lindens for a sim from which she cannot make sales, nor currently access.

And Hush turned in a document from a country where the Lindens don't know the legal structure; even though all claims of legal action on copyright infringement (we're not talking DMCA filings here, we're talking actual court cases) must, by the Lindens' own Terms of Service, be filed (or at least, co-filed concurrently) in San Francisco, California; they received a notice which looked like a court case had been decided in Hush's favor. From Canada.

What did the Lindens do? Again, they did what their Terms of Service told them they must: they banned Gala (temporarily, at least) from the grid, and shunted everything else over to Legal. (Though the last I'd heard, the Lab had fired their chief legal counsel, so do they even have a legal department at this point?)

And that's where we sit. For Gala to get the right to sell her skins again in Second Life, she has to file a court case against an insane woman. Someone who's clearly delusional, or she wouldn't be pressing this so hard. And she has to file it in Canada, which involves at the very least finding a legal team in Canada to represent her, up to going there herself to testify.

That $20,000 figure you're hearing being tossed around--that's not the total. That's the low end. As in, it's going to cost at least twenty thousand, US, to file the report, retain counsel and pay legal fees--and none of that includes travel fees, lodging, food, making copies of her digital proofs, and contacting witnesses. With potentially their travel fees, lodging, food, and any counsel they may feel they need.

And all of this must be paid before Gala can sell again, even though the original "Supreme Court" notice was just a notice of a claim made, not an actual court case that was decided in Hush's favor. Because so far, nothing has been decided in Hush's favor.

And all of this has to be paid while Gala's not receiving a dime from sales in her sim (because it's still closed) or on the Marketplace (because she's still banned from selling there). And her biggest source of income? Second Life.

So here's the thing: put any other designer in Gala's place; it's still scary. This is proof positive than any malicious, jealous soul can stop the process that helps feed us, clothe us, and keep us sheltered from the storm--literally, because if we rely on what we make in Second Life to pay rent, to pay hospital bills, to put food on the table, to pay utility bills...then all of that can go away with one action from the Lindens.

It happened to Azriel Demain. It's happened to Solange Cerveau. It's happened to Maxwell Graf. It's happening to Gala. And it could happen to anyone.

This is not just a fundraiser for Gala Phoenix. It's a banding together of every creator, even those not participating. Because every creator lives under this threat. Every creator could have their life and livelihoods stripped away with a single act.

Unless, y'know, you're actually Hush Darkrose. Then you're just another online predator.

and I've tried and tried, but it's taking me so long

City of Heroes launched Issue 23 today, which is literally jam-packed with new content in all directions: new Incarnate trials, new VIP and Premium content, an entire new play zone, and a new Free player channel, which many of us--both free and paid players alike--have been begging for.

See, when free play was introduced in CoH, free players couldn't IM people, couldn't email people, couldn't join supergroups, and couldn't talk in any channel beyond Help. This, naturally, reduced the honest and sincere questions that Help channel gets from time to time to so much pink noise--most of it grating and unnecessary in Help.

Now, there's the new Looking for Group channel, which can be clicked on to open, or simply use "/lfg" to pop it up. While this will also result in a lot of unnecessary pink noise in LFG, it should lessen the yammering in Help. Which is all we really wanted.

Of more import, free players can now be invited to Supergroups! Originally, this ban--like the ban on IMs and emails--was to prevent gold spammers from further infesting the game. (As soon as the Free-to-Play option was announced, we, like all other big MMOs, got INUNDATED with gold spammers. Or, in the case of their version of coinage, influence and infamy spammers.) Since most spammers are not at ALL interested in advancing past level one, getting an invite by proving you're a human, not a leech should be ridiculously easy.

Australian game channel GINX has released their Final Fantasy Guide to Hair--which is funny, surreal, and occasionally baffling. If you ever played any iteration of Final Fantasy, take five minutes and watch it. It's well worth your time.

So, I'm now using Niran's Viewer, because I loathe it less than any other V3-structured viewer, and because I've been struggling for the past three days simply to connect with Cool-VL. (And, considering I'm not male, and Mr. Beauchamp ignores any bug report sent to him from the distaff gender, it's not worth my time to send in a bug report he won't pay attention to anyway. Better to simply abandon the viewer as a waste of time. Why yes, I am bitter about this, why do you ask?)

There are a lot of different settings on Niran's I don't understand yet, though I'm working through them. I've managed--with the help of a concerned friend (read, "concerned" as "why are you screaming at me?") to get things more or less in working condition for me. (And in this case, read "working" as "I've effectively rendered part of Niran's crippleware, because I hate V3 viewers that much".)

Thing is, I don't have another option. My system isn't advanced enough for Exodus (though said concerned friend is trying to convince me to give it a try again); I refuse to use Firestorm (that's not going to change, ever); and I'd rather spoon our my own eyes than use the official viewer. (Seriously, I'm not exaggerating when I say that. Lindens, if you're listening, yes, the hash you made of the SL official viewer is so loathesome to me, I'd rather blind myself and leave Second Life forever than continue to play. I'm not sugar-coating this at all--V3 is that bad.)

But--in said partially-argumentative conversation last night--I did discover part of why I hate V3 with such a fiery vengeance. (Well, beyond the layout, the reconfiguration points, the sidebar, the top bar, the way movement works, the way changing clothes works, the difficulty in USING THE DAMN VIEWER IN THE FIRST PLACE--)

*ahem*

What I discovered was that only two things really make it a pass-or-fail option for me: and half of that conclusion comes from toasts and chiclets.

Here's why: while this no doubt is different for users of Linux or Mac systems, in PC systems, the stop-all-programs/emergency/alert notifications come in on the lower right-hand corner. Which means I am instinctually trained to drop everything and put my attention to whatever's popping up, because it--on Windows--means there's something DIRE going on.

The decision by Studio 8020 to spend part of the seven figures Linden Lab paid them on pushing standard, everyday "you got a thing"/"you're talking to someone" notifications into the lower right-hand corner--that emergency/alert/attend to this NOW! corner--means that as soon as I log into ANY V3 viewer--including Niran's--I am immediately enraged. I'm not even kidding. It's not even zero to bitch, it's zero to STAB MOTHERFUCKERS NOW, and part of that is because things are flashing in the lower right-hand corner, and I can't get them to stop.
Because in my head, I know that things in the lower right-hand corner are not a system stop emergency, but I feel like I have to drop everything and attend to them anyway, and it absolutely infuriates me every time. This results in one of two things happening. Either:

• a), I do drop everything, then close each and every toast and chiclet I can close, thus missing out on all that information, or
• b) I don't drop everything, because I know it's not important, and then things sit there and build up and keep flashing until I storm away from Second Life in a huff.

Again, not kidding, not exaggerating. That's what happens. Every single damned time. And while there are other reasons I hate V2/V3 viewers (oh, so many other reasons), that's the main one. That is the single issue that, if fixed, would result in far less stress on me, on those around me (because anyone who IMs me during one of these anger management breaks either gets ignored or yelled at), and far more time spent in-world rather than doing anything other than Second Life.

The same friend (poor, long-suffering soul) told me that I could just ignore the toasts, because they'd go away after a while. I just counted, standing in my skybox, how long it takes those notifications to fade. Eight. Seconds. And after those eight seconds have passed, and the actual notifications leave? I STILL HAVE THE LITTLE ENVELOPE STARING AT ME. Which does not, I repeat, NOT go away. EVER.

Until I attend to it.

Which means that, less than thirty seconds in on Second Life, and already my hands are shaking, I want to throw things, and I'm pretty much done for the day. It's insane. How hard is it to NOT HAVE THAT GODDAMN SETTING?

And don't get me started on how difficult, cumbersome, over-complicated and insane it is to join groups! I just want to JOIN A GROUP! GIVE ME THE GODDAMN JOIN TEXT! DIIIIIE!

I'm...going to go lay down now, and maybe sew something to something else. I think you all get the point.

And I've now set myself up for months of this crap, because I can't use any other reasonable alternatives, and because Henri's a bigoted ASS. On occasion, I hate my life.

And this is not a "steampunk" outfit. What the hell is wrong with people??

and I dream of the sea, there's no rapture for me

A peek inside the Peep Factory? The New York Times takes you there.

Once more into the breach, until this thing is solved or wholly abandoned, at least.

From Deja Letov, yesterday:

I don't have any borked listings in my store that I can see, and when I click on listings with the 14xxxxx series ID's they all seem to be correct, however, I've noticed that most of the ones mentioned are in the low 14's. My listings that appear to be correct are in the 147 range or higher such as 1479975, 1480098, 1480025, 1480115, 1498410. Just something to help narrow down the numbers affected.

It just might. Still haven't heard the Lindens have responded again. (Though I could be wrong there, too.)

Arwen Serpente:

I just checked my store and I have listings from the 14xxxx series. My listings are not borked in my store (however, I do not know if they appear in someone else's store).
My listings in the 14xxxxx range start at 1463585. Hope that's helpful.
Edited to add: These products were listed between September and October 2010.


Apologies for the edit (I hate forum spam), but I was mistaken about the earlist listing (Argus helped find it). The earliest listing number in 14xxxx range is 1463572.

Pamela Galli again:

My listing are not borked. I have 1398435 and 1473084 followed by several other 14XXXXX numbers above those. I think the borked range is somewhere between these.

Between 1,398,435 and 1,473,084. That's a pretty wide gradation. Not quite a full million items, but that seems close. That also, to my way of thinking, falls out of the "limited" range of products affected.

And finally, Samantha Zwickel again, reiterating information given earlier:

Editing the photos that you can doesn't fix the listings. The reviews and related products are messed up. Related products can be fixed individually, reviews, not so much. And then there's the issue of someone else's product descriptions showing in your store with your photos and you can't edit them. Merchants CANNOT fix this on their own short of deleting and starting over and convincing the others in your shop to do the same.

Also to note: merchants have been asking if there's anything they can do for over a week. What are they being told by the Lindens they manage to reach?

• Delete the affected images.
• Delete the affected listings.
• Create new listings and upload new images.

Putting aside the crushing overage of rework this is causing, especially for larger merchants, this doesn't fix the problem.

Let me say that again because it sounds vaguely important: The procedures Linden help staff and concierge staff are handing out to premium account holders do not work now, have not worked for a week, and in fact, are compounding the problem by both duplicating the listings deleted, AND "fixing" those listings in place, in non-editable forms.

So why are the Lindens telling people this? That's the big question.

Finally, from the group of a friend:

[09:20] Rxxxxx Wxxxxxx: delivery right now with anything from MP is doubtful at best. Its a 50/50 crap shoot as to wether it goes or doesn't - depending on the day of the week, time of day, and if its raining

That's about as predictable as it gets right now, yes.

you ruin everything, oh, you better go home

So today, roughly two and a half hours ago from the writing of this post, CommerceTeam Linden sent out an official response to the Marketplace snafu (what I've been calling in my head "the final nail in SL's coffin"). Some of the highlights:

• according to the Lindens, only a limited number of users are affected
• most of the problem is due to delivery issues, and they're forcing those deliveries, so really, that's not a problem
• if you're using a third party viewer, that seems to be your problem
• they've come up with an involved, and mostly uselessly unworkable, "solution" for people using Mac and Linux computers to get Direct Delivery to work
• once you delete something, it's gone from your Marketplace inventory, so yay, no problems there [pfffff]
• if you delete remapped product listings one by one, and don't bulk delete listings, you'll have no more problems [PFFFF]
• no one has to migrate their Magic Boxes to Direct Delivery until the first of June (which gives people two more whole weeks to get with the program

Or, in the words of a friend:

[7:07:29 PM] Hxxx Rxxxxx: Translation: "We've screwed this pooch, pretty damn badly, so uh, whups. We're going to need a couple of months to make it sturdy enough to not piss off more than 50% of our user base."
[7:09:46 PM] Emilly Orr: Yeah.

I've figured out why this entire thing is bugging me so badly. It's sort of a fifty-fifty issue; one side is clearly "last straw" oriented--there have been so many failures and so much outright bungling on the part of the Lindens to be effective at all--in a virtual world they own--that there's simply nothing left in me that wants to extend the benefit of the doubt.

But the other half is pure, undiluted outrage of the "How dare they?!?" variety. And that comes from personal experience. I know so many people in SL who are disabled, for whom Second Life is their income, because they literally can't do anything else. And it's akin to swallowing acid when I learn about anything that could potentially destroy the chances for survival of a sector of humanity that may already be living on that thin narrow edge as it is.

Because let's face it--if someone's disabled, and receiving roughly half of the average minimum wage fee anyway (and that's monthly, not weekly to start with), and they've actually discovered an ability they can turn into supplemental income...anything that mucks with that (the arrival of Zindra, the changes in official policy, the Marketplace...EVERYTHING) means sending them one more step towards serious consequences. For some of these people, it's not just "Damn, I can't afford that new Xbox" but "Oh hell, I can't pay my rent! Where am I going to live now?"

What they make on SL could be the difference between eating fresh produce and good protein, or eating Ramen noodles. Or it could mean the difference between eating, and not being able to afford food to eat.

What they make on SL could be the difference between getting that monthly bus pass, or being unable to leave the house for a month.

What they make in SL could be the difference between keeping a roof over their heads, and being homeless.

And right now, right now, that growing by leaps and bounds "limited number of users" is realizing that the months of erratic Marketplace behavior, the listings disappearing, the listings being unable to be changed, the listings being unable to be tracked in any meaningful way...now has pretty much imploded into nuclear-level uselessness. Loss of sales, complaints, delivery errors, the wrong makers being paid, the wrong customers being given the products, the products being delivered in multiple batches instead of one client/one product delivery...all the way down to the Lindens being deliberately vague on when things are going to be fixed, after a year of being vague about when things are going to be fixed...

...And some of these people are realizing there's no more that they can cut back and still make ends meet. Some of these people are scrambling to find the next thing to do that will allow them to pay rent, pay utilities, pay for medical insurance, pay for groceries. Because Second Life clearly is no longer that option.

I've ranted a great deal on this blog, about a great many things. In some sense, this is because this is venting space in my mind--though I have readers, I'm still primarily writing about what I want to write about, venting emotionally where I wish, without much regard for hurt feelings along the way.

But this. This strikes a deep, emotional chord in me. I'm finding I'm writing one of these entries, then literally going off to play Minecraft and kill monsters because I am so livid about what's going on. If I were physically standing in front of a Linden--any Linden--the first thing that would come to mind would be to slap them until my arms get tired.

Because this is amateur hour behavior. No big business that wants to remain a big business pulls this crap. There's a fair bit of "Just who do the Lindens think they are, anyway?" fuming, too, because my gods, have they learned nothing over the past two years?

Apparently not. And I still come back to the fact that even the rise of Zindra didn't piss me off to this degree. I keep having to pause to literally calm down because I want to scream and throw things. It's unconscionable to me that this is going on, at all, for any reason.

And I'm absolutely convinced we're not going to see a solution until well after June. (But oh, how I wish I'm wrong on that.)

so I took a chainsaw to my skull and extracted my brain out

The newest word from Google+ on pseudonymity: "We understand you want to lie to people. We're willing to look the other way for four days while you change your name. It's all cool, we're not evil!"

And I quote:

One of the things we strive for on Google+ is to make connecting with people on the web more like connecting with people in the real world. So as part of this effort, we've asked that those signing up for the service use the name they commonly go by in the real world.

In the past, when we found a profile that was not in line with our Names Policy (take a look: http://goo.gl/qh5V9 -- we've updated it with examples), we used to suspend the profile and then let the user appeal.

We’re listening, learning, and iterating to give our users the best experience possible. Starting today, if we find that your profile name does not adhere to our policy, we'll give you a 4 day grace period to fix your profile name before we take further action. During this period, you can continue to use Google+ as usual. We're hoping that most affected users will be able to quickly fix their profile name while continuing to enjoy all that Google+ has to offer.

Right. That was the death knell for me, because you know what? There are a lot of people who call me Emilly in the "real world", that is the name I commonly go by!

Jackhats.

So I'm looking into deleting my access to the service. And look what I found!

You've successfully deleted Google+ and associated social content

We're sorry to see you leave! Please help us improve by telling us why you are leaving and what we can do better. This survey is optional but your feedback is much appreciated.

Please tell us why you're leaving:

https://plus.google.com/109179785755319022525/posts/YcvRKqJeiZi That. That right there. I have been Emilly Orr in Second Life and to many, MANY people who know me in real life for over five years. I have had a Gmail account for those five years and barring service outages, which you were ALWAYS proactive about informing us about, I have not had a problem with anything related to Gmail. And when Google+ came along, with GREAT trepidation--because I loathe Facebook with the fervor and intensity with which I despise Wal-Mart, and I despise Wal-Mart to a nigh psychotic degree--I signed up. One week later, rumors of account deletions surfaced, and I have been worried ever since. But thank you. You have made my decision easy. I need Gmail; I need Blogger; and I use Chrome as my main browser. I DON'T need Google+. And until you allow pseudonyms established in faith, as mine has been, to concur with names we're known by "in the real"--I'm not coming back. Whatever happened to 'Don't be evil', Google? Because this is a move that has cost you customers, cost you beta testers, cost you trust, and likely cost you funds. I'm extremely disappointed in you, and THAT is why I'm leaving.

I don't intend to return. It's done for me. They're not changing their minds, so hey, I don't need to be there, because they are NOT GETTING MY REAL NAME.

Which, half the time, is "Emilly" anyway, so what the hell, Google? When my WIFE calls me Emilly more often than she calls me by my given name, what does that tell you?

Oh, wait, it doesn't tell you anything, because you think you're in the right. Right. Good luck with that.

the cheat bone's connected to deceit bones, and thereby connected to lies

So, tip from a friend brought me back to looking at Boxed Heroes, but for this, as the victim of something terrible that happened alongside a gridwide hunt. (Though in trying to run down the tale, I did find this mention of the Armored Warrior Male avatar, which is tintable, beautiful, and original.)

So what happened? Well, the Gridwide Superheroes Hunt happened. It started June 1st, and purports to be a month-long hunt that tried to pull all the superhero/heroic/comic-influenced creators into one place, for the delectation of comics fans everywhere. Of course there's bound to be copyright infringement, and of course the organizers don't seem to care. This is nothing new.

But what I want to point out is the comments on that last link, really. (And I also want to make it clear that many of the items offered on the hunt were not copied from existing creations. This was a hunt that had original ideas and those stores that cared enough not to create another variant on Batman, Deadpool, DareDevil or the Flash--among others--should be celebrated for the good they're doing.) Namely, the ones that mention the last prize.

Which is the Boxed Heroes Armored Male Avatar. Which was, bafflingly, given away with full perms.

Where did the breakdown happen? I don't honestly know. I'm going to say it wasn't on Boxed Heroes' side, per se--because many hunts will ask for a full-perm version of the item, so that they can then give it away themselves, in their own product box. (Some hunts don't do this. Admittedly, I've always felt safer participating in the hunts that don't, though some of my favorite designers do ask for donations full-perm when putting together their hunts. It's not an uncommon practice.) But was Boxed Heroes involved at all, or was it a stolen item to begin with? That, I can't track down enough information to verify. I'd like to say that no business involved with superheroes would do something so underhanded, but...well. (It's especially irksome that this is happening with Boxed Heroes, whose group members still feel I caused irreparable harm to, but who--after my few posts--started turning out beautifully-crafted, fascinating, absolutely compelling in some cases, original avatars.)

(Insert from the Editrix, who failed to read the last message in the thread: seems it's even worse than I thought, but the taint is not specifically with the hunt organizers. Who apparently paid L$2500--nearly ten dollars, or put another way, nearly seven Euros--for the thing to be built. Instead, whomever it was--that duplicitous avatar has not yet come to light--pocketed the Lindens and lifted the Armored Male avatar from Boxed Heroes. So...yeah. It remains a mess, and a controversy, but Boxed Heroes didn't give anything to the hunt, and the hunt organizers apparently don't know Boxed Heroes' work well enough to recognize a copy when they see it. That's on them; if you're interested in superheroes at all on the grid, and you don't know about Boxed Heroes? That's just willful blindness, that is.)

The problem, though, is the genie's out of the bottle. At this point, it no longer matters who gave what to whom, or when; it's done. For all that an AR has been filed, the Lindens need to investigate, which takes time; and in the meantime, with the people who have acquired this avatar, the hunt organizers are just telling them to delete it. They're not giving it out anymore, so everything's fine now...

And of course, that's going to work, right? Because that's not a ridiculously naïve statement. Because everyone who got that avatar full-perms, of course, is an honest, law-abiding soul.

Riiiight.

So expect to see knock-offs of this Avatar across the grid soon, only with much less care, sense of craft, and attention to detail. Can we all agree that gridwide hunts are getting out of hand? Or that at least the organizers need to pay some bit of attention to the hunts they organize!

In the meantime, until the filing and counterfiling frenzy dies down, I'd recommend sincerely that anyone who got the avatar full-perms just do the right thing and buy it on the Marketplace. You'll get your own copy, you'll support the business that the hunt organizers seem bent on damaging, and hey--in some small, minor way you'll be a hero in your own right.

Who doesn't like that feeling?

(Why yes, there's already an update to this issue. Read the follow-up entry.)

In other superhero news, there's a wonderful webcomic out there taking on the issues in larger comics publication and storylines, a panel at a time--and this week's issue deals with women in comics publishing. To be fair, I think it's an issue worth debating, but I also firmly believe most comic execs favor option B in the discussions.

There's someone on deviantArt who wants Notch to make Minecraft creepier and harder to survive by inventing the Sheeper--a half-sheep, half-Creeper who favors facing away from you and would only blow up when you saw the Creeper face. Notch, for the love of anything you hold sacred, please don't do it! It would make wool harvesting fraught with trauma and psychosis!

And finally, because after most of this I want to end on a less depressing note--have a bit of lusty bookbinding action. Abe Books for a few years now have been selling unique editions, textbooks, and chapbook editions to the public online, and this page is their gathering together of all the really unusually-bound books they have (not know about, have in house). Since posting that, eleven of the thirty volumes have sold. Guess I'm not the only one who adores unusual bindings.

(Actually, I know I'm not, and that's why I'm posting it here.)

too simple to trust me, too dull to engage, too shallow to please me

There's a lengthy excerpt from the recent Supreme Court case on what makes a video game too violent for the under-eighteens to play; I found myself surprised at how knowledgeable about video games, and the current (accurate) research ongoing on the presumed link between violent games and violence in children the Court was; especially since I thought Scalia was on the conservative side.

Go them.

In other news, I now get to add the word "neutrois" to "cisgender" on my list of Terms That Only Complicate Everything, because of a complaint over a bonehead error that DeviantArt recently pulled (and even then, it wasn't so much the mistake made, which was minor, but the way their cackhanded PR department handled it). Especially Daniel Sowers Jr., who is DeviantArt's designated agent. Bonehead that he is.

I'm not specifically trying to be exclusionary with this stance, it just bugs me. It's like the whole controversy around the gay movement. First gay, then gay and lesbian. Then gay, lesbian and bisexual. Then it was LGBT--the T for transsexual/transgender. Then 'queer' got added, and now intersexed is in there, which means pretty much the only expressions excluded from the community are strict heterosexuals (who are non-supportive, because supportive straights are apparently on board) and people who have pathological sexualities (see pedophiles, for instance). At what point does it just boil back down to "different people"? Or even better, just "people"? We're people. We want the same rights. Everybody should have these rights. Right?

Just stop inventing words, especially if there are already other terms in place that work with less effort. Get real.

The new CEO of Undead Games has decided his massive multiplayer zombie game will ship to consoles, not PCs. Interesting stance. Let's see if it works for him.

Finally, more oddity from Doomed. There's apparently a roleplayer (I shall leave off the hapless unfortunate's name, for once, because she may just be this clueless, not actively stupid) on the Doomed ship who thinks demons are big, fluffy puppies with bad teeth.

Or, to put it closer to what she said to a friend, because her (demonic) character is "nice".

How shall I best break this to the lass...In the story arc of the Doomed ship, demons are the enemy. There are no "nice" demons. If, out of sheer incongruent whimsy, a "nice" demon happens upon the ship, one of two things will happen:

1. The inhabitants of the ship will do their best to kill the demon, because of their prior experience. These are battle-scarred survivors on a ship that has literally been to Hell, and back (or local equivalent), and the inhabitants are paranoid, frightened, and occasionally insane.

or

2. The demons aboard the ship will rip the "nice" demon apart because the so-called "nice" demon is an aberration and must be destroyed.

Period. End of sentence. No negotiation. There are no nice demons on Doomed, just as their are no pure, untouched innocents on Doomed.

Or, put another way, if you are taking on one of these roles, on the Doomed ship? You're dragging in your own mythological subset, because on Doomed, neither virginal purity nor sweet, kind demonology is in evidence. (Because, as said, any evidence of either of these astounding creatures? Would be killed/raped/eaten instantly, before, after or during.)

Move on. Get a new character, dear. You'll just keep dying if you don't.

So what the hell happened to Katharine Berry and megaprim.sl? What new fresh hell are the Phoenix/Emerald devs responsible for now?

It's not going to be without its pitfalls, and likely severe ones, but when mesh uploads finally crawl their way onto the grid (assuming the grid's still there when that eventual day comes), the ten meter limit on prim size is apparently being raised to sixty-four meters.

While this will definitely help builders, especially with the loss of megaprim.sl, I'm fairly sure that's also only to be enabled on "official" SL viewers. Because we all "should" be using the official viewers, natch.

Meanwhile, for those specific-prim needs, there's always Prim Search Login. It sort of works.

At least, it's what we've got for now.

disconnecting, no one calls, the phone don't even ring

Sometimes, playing Echo Bazaar ends up a uniquely trippy experience:

A dream about a corridor lined with brass mirrors

In the dream, the mirrors on the left-hand side reflect you walking through a desert of ash, spiked here and there with the blackened stumps of trees. When you turn to your right, you fall out of bed. You open your eyes. Moonish light filters into the room: for a moment the floor beneath you seems to ripple, reflecting it like a pool of mercury. No, hang on, you're awake. This definitely just happened.

I've had nights like this.

At the turn of the century, a Danish painter named Vilhelm Hammershøi predated the Second Life effect of viewing the world over your avatar's shoulder. Notwithstanding the fact that he's apparently the go-to artist for 'serious literature' book covers, I find myself very comfortable with the view of the back of his wife's head. It seems natural to me, at this point.

And, following up on the current bans from yesterday and on Monday, this is by report the exact letter Hybrid Ansar got from Linden Labs as to why she was banned.

I guess that answers that.

[15:28] Tomoyuki Batra: The update is that they have changed Azriel's password so he can't get into the site or xstreet. He is getting ready to call them.
[15:28] Sakura Rajal: O>O what?

For those who don't remember yesterday's mention, Azriel Demain has been banned from Second Life. The thinking was this would only be for seven days. An additional email made it clear that the ban could be for seven days, or "indefinitely".

"Indefinitely" is a bad, bad word at this point.

[15:29] Tomoyuki Batra: They suspended Azriel for a week starting yesterday
[15:29] ZombieToy Fretwerk: wtf
[15:29] Tomoyuki Batra: because he had the words 'inspired by dracula' on one of his xstreet listings

Here's how we think it goes--Azriel has the listing up. Doesn't think to change it, because it's been that description for at least two years. Someone happens across it--who knows who? For all we know, it could have been a wandering Linden. This soul then reports it as a violation.

And Linden Labs freaks out completely and bans Az from the grid.

[15:30] Vylna Daviau: when Second life ADVERTISES - come on second life and be a vampire?

I should point your attention towards the current ad in the sidebar--it's been replaced with text-only, but the ad I had before for SL, if anyone remembers, was the one Vylna's referring to. Apparently it's okay as long as they don't say "Twilight" or "Dracula"...

(Though to that end, just as a side note...why haven't KayKay Stine, Xtasy Veil, Acekala Porthos, AngelinaJolie Laville, Azriel Watanabe, Caroline Tairov, Madonna Ohare, Sherry Moleno, MK Magic, TrishaNicole GossipGirl, TheCureAndTheCause Ghost, snoe Halostar, or Tristan Careless, just to mention a few who are quite blatantly ripping off the "Twilight" film series, been banned, then? There's no equality in the ban process? Or maybe it's that "Twilight" and "Avatar" are so much bigger than SL, and nobody will mind or notice, but Universal might sue Second Life for the "inspired by" line? Help me understand the thinking, here.)

[15:31] Tomoyuki Batra: yesterday he was able to access xstreet and secondlife.com
[15:31] Tomoyuki Batra: now he can't.
[15:32] Tomoyuki Batra: that means no transferring of moneys from xstreet into second life for tier, sim, anything else
[15:32] Rayven Zelmanov: How can they do that to him???

Well, pretty much because they're Linden Labs, at this point. But what Azriel is most worried about is that tier, which is due on 2 August. And he doesn't get in at the earliest until 8 August. What happens on the second when tier isn't paid?

[15:32] Tomoyuki Batra: that means he can't pay his vendor spaces
[15:32] Tomoyuki Batra: that means no creating, no new releases, nothing
[15:32] Rayven Zelmanov: totally unfair
[15:32] Tomoyuki Batra: this basically screws him completely because this is his rl livelihood.

I've been saying for most of eighteen months now, that the end goal of Linden Labs' new management is to finish user-created content, once and for all. Because they seem to want a safe world, a sanitized world, a world that's flirty enough for adults and bland enough for the tweenybops and hot and cold running events for everyone else. Where money comes in and doesn't go out and everyone on the planet has a Second Life account.

This isn't a bad dream...well, actually, yeah, it's kind of an absurd and ridiculous dream that's completely delusional, but compared to, say, placing a private ad for a young man to slaughter and consume, well, it's a small fluffy happy dream. More power to them.

But the Lindens--old or new--still don't live in their world. They keep failing to understand the basic premise--if people are banned from creating; if people are turned solely and wholly into consumers of existing content; who's making that content? And if it's turning into that kind of game, where everyone has a choice between the jeans and the green t-shirt or the magenta disco dress, then we might as well be playing the Sims.

[15:33] Tomoyuki Batra: this could mean the end of falln if they keep going.

If Azriel Demain is permanently banned for something that was easily correctable, and it turns out to be entirely Linden-contrived, no one else noticing at all--that means this entire thing could have been avoided with a phone call, a personal note, hells--a notecard or IM sent in world.

This may well be the worst PR disaster the Labs have ever suffered, because--and especially so soon after the mass lay-offs--it will mean pretty much anyone is fair game. That no one is sacred anymore. That it doesn't matter how many sims we might own, we can go down on a whim.

This is not what the Labs want us all to be thinking.

When we were having this discussion this morning, there was at least one fellow who didn't get it, and kept making inappropriate comments in the group.

[15:34] VIKTOR Faerye: chill out ppl , just get the stick right out of ur asses

Tomo finally bounced him. Me being me, I couldn't leave it there:

[15:50] Emilly Orr: We did try to warn you. Apparently you don't listen.
[15:50] VIKTOR Faerye: cmon i have things to do here and that window keep coming
[15:51] Emilly Orr: So close it. That stops the window from popping up. Instead, you've now irritated the highly stressed partner of Azriel, who has banned you from the group and from the store. Consider it your lesson in being polite on SL.
[15:53] VIKTOR Faerye: lol i dont even know why i was a member,so how can i tell u i dont care

Yeah, I should've dropped it there. But I am stubborn when frustrated, and I am frustrated in so many ways at present.

[16:02] VIKTOR Faerye: why ppl is so hostile these days, i just was trying to have fun
[16:02] VIKTOR Faerye: i dont even know wat the problem is
[16:03] Emilly Orr: Azriel Demain, the owner of FallnAngel Designs--the group you got kicked from--got banned by Linden Labs for using what they consider to be a copyrighted word in a description on an XStreet listing.
[16:03] VIKTOR Faerye: wats the word_

(As it turns out, actually, it was the "inspired by", not so much the "Dracula", near as we understand things now.)

[16:03] Emilly Orr: It is now July 29th. He was told he was banned yesterday. This gives him seven days before he will be able to log back in--IF the Labs don't make it a permanent ban.
[16:04] VIKTOR Faerye: but wat was the word he used
[16:05] Emilly Orr: On the 2nd of August, tier is due for his sims. If he doesn't pay it in in-world currency, there are two ways that Linden Labs can deal with this. One is to pull funds from his personal checking account, which means certain longer-term RL plans will be scotched; the other is to declare the sims defaulted, return everything, and reclaim the land.
[16:05] Emilly Orr: Which word?
[16:06] VIKTOR Faerye: damn he is in some trouble then
[16:06] Emilly Orr: Yes. And you came in with your sense of humor and pretty much stomped on Tomo's last remaining nerve.
[16:07] Emilly Orr: Do you understand why this is a little big bigger than 'damn, people, chill, pull that stick outta yer asses' territory?
[16:07] VIKTOR Faerye: lol poor tomo im sorry bout him too * no kidding *

Go figure. He's sorry now that he's been bounced from the group and estate-banned. Some people.

[17:21] Emilly Orr: Did they tell him anything about payment on his sims?
[17:21] Tomoyuki Batra: they just kinda said 'oh well'
[17:22] MichaelE Eiren: don't they WANT their tier??
[17:22] Emilly Orr: This is a PR nightmare, but I'm not entirely convinced the Labs care.

This is the exact listing from XStreet's current "Report Item" policy:

Report Item

Before you continue to file a report, please review the following:

Are you having delivery problems with an item? Is this a general complaint better handled by Customer Support? Please DO NOT use this tool. Instead contact the Customer Support team directly.

Contact the Customer Support Team

Do you want to report an intellectual property violation? If you are an intellectual property owner with a complaint about a marketplace listing, contact the Intellectual Property team directly.

Contact the Intellectual Property Team

If the above situations do not apply to your complaint, then use this tool to report basic listing issues. Examples include: miscategorized listings, adult content, wrong language, listings for real-world goods or services, non-item listings, item or keyword spam, re-listed items, references to other e-commerce websites, anti-competitive or abusive behavior, or other Second Life Community Standards violation

It sounds like "inspired by" anything isn't even an issue, by what they're looking for. What they're looking for according to this would be:

• adult content in non-adult listings
• item or keyword spam in the listing
• re-listing the same items with new names
• referencing websites not XStreet/SL Marketplace
• abusive language or "gaming" tactics used in the listing
• assigning listings to the wrong category
• using the wrong descriptive language in the listing

Maybe the Labs are just that nervy, but if they're telling him he can't re-enter SL, or use any SL-related services, until August 8th...he's going to lose all four sims.

FallnAngel Designs at that point will be a dead fashion house. Does Linden Labs really want this?

One last thing: on this YouTube video (don't ask, Fawkes is dragging me through Phineas & Ferb), they list the allowable use section of the Copyright Act of 1976:

"Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for 'fair use' for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use."

Does that matter a whit in terms of DMCA provisions, or Linden Labs' own internal Terms of Service? Not a lot, no, per this section:

2.6

Linden Lab may suspend or terminate your account at any time, without refund or obligation to you. Linden Lab has the right at any time for any reason or no reason to suspend or terminate your Account, terminate this Agreement, and/or refuse any and all current or future use of the Service without notice or liability to you. In the event that Linden Lab suspends or terminates your Account or this Agreement, you understand and agree that you shall receive no refund or exchange for any unused time on a subscription, any license or subscription fees, any content or data associated with your Account, or for anything else.

Yeah. Like that. So according to that passage, it may not matter why Azriel was banned, just if the Lindens will let him get back on. But this is making a great many of us nervous about many things--creating in world; living in world; and staying in world.

It is becoming a very, very hostile Second Life.

In other news, there's news on MyWorld--is it the next Second Life? Or the next Facebook? From here, it's hard to tell. All we know so far is it's an international social game--there are no avatars, but there are vehicles--be they cars, trucks, planes or trains--that one can use to compete in mini-games.

[23:59] Poppet McGimsie: this really happened: a friend of mine was teaching a logic class, and explaining how two negatives can make a positive, but two postiviers can never make a negative, and someone in the class said (very sarcastically) "yeah yeah"

Showed them, huh? And that's all from the cheap seats for tonight. Ta!

feels like you made a mistake--you made somebody's heart break

I am surviving. Surviving with blistered skin and broken bones and nerve endings licked by fire...but alive. Survival is knowing the last breath seared the lungs, knowing the next one will, and breathing anyway. Survival is ash in the air and cinders underfoot and thirst never-ending.

Survival, sometimes, is being too stubborn to give up. To give in. To fall down and wait for the searing breaths to stop. If I am nothing else, I am at least that.



I have taken a wrong turn
when will I learn? When will I learn?
should I show them all my scars?
cherry-red, bleeding burn--

So many scars at this point, so much damage underneath them. Old burns, old breaks, old fractures...it's a miracle anyone doesn't walk across the landscape and not end up with shrapnel embedded in tender flesh, me included. Who knows what's lurking in the land, these days?



What any rational person would do...I am not doing. But I never said I was rational.

On the other side of the coin, this is not a rational place, even by my definitions. Things could go so very wrong...and we are not starting off balanced and level. There are pitfalls and tripwires and spike traps. I have carefully walked across the blackened earth to the cliff's edge, and it is crumbling.



Feels like you're making a mess
You're hell on wheels in a black dress
You drove me to the fire and left me there to burn
Every little thing you do is tragic
All my life before was magic
Beautiful girl
I can't breathe...

First it was certain topics under discussion, at certain times. Then it was certain feelings, pared out, planed smooth, examined under safe conditions.

Now it's down to breathing. Remembering to keep breathing. Keep breathing in spite of everything. I have no assurances and no control over anything else. Burnt air enters, toxic air leaves...okay. It will suffice for now.



I know that is in me to fail. Fail at small things, at large things, fail brilliantly, fail monumentally. Occasionally I fail in new and unexpected ways. It is in me to make mistakes and learn from them, and it is in me to make mistakes and make the same mistakes later, never having learned.

I want to learn from these mistakes. I want not to make them again.



We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

I am dwelling largely on the story of the little mermaid these days. Not the Disneyfied version, lovely though the songs are--but the original Danish fable, with the woman who yearned so deeply to travel beyond her sphere that she was willing to mute her songs and render every step on dry land an agonizing pain...just for the chance to take those steps.

Everyone concentrates on the sacrifice of the sea, but me, I'm wondering what would draw a woman to change her entire circumstance, just for a chance at something different. What was her life under the waves like?



for betty was born
to never say nay
but lucy could learn
and lily could pray
and fewer were shyer
than doll. doll

Consent and contradiction and glowing shards of what was, what might be...and what's the half-life of heartbreak? And why am I here again, and taking each moment day by day, anyway? It feels like playing chess in Chernyobl.



And what is the cost of all the fire, the end result of all the burning? If I must burn and burn again, let it matter. Let it crisp and sear and tear away what is unworthy. Let me harden to adamant and be strong enough not to burn again. If this is what it takes.

Hard surface, all the emotion of a star, reflecting all hope, deflecting all attempts...if this is what it takes, then let me be that. Gather my chains and remake my barricades, and be a closed capsule again, a walled city, overlooking the valley where the rivers dried to dust.

Let me be that. Not this.



love love love is everywhere
but not a drop for me to drink
tie me up and bind my feet
drop me in, and watch me sink

One step. And one step. If I have to break it down to centimeter progress, I will. I'll know what happens next when I get there.

I hope.



Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Because staying here? Is not an option.



This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang but a whimper.

I refuse. I will not be pushed. I will stand my ground until I am out of ground to stand on. Stubborn, so stubborn, but this has kept me alive more than once. And it may yet again.



In the meantime, I just have to keep things moving. Anything else hits the ground...there won't be ground left.

Home isn't home if I feel I can't go there. Safe places aren't safe if I don't feel safe in them. So I need to decide where my safe places are, and secure them. I need to decide where home is, and make it a home again.

And I will do this, through fire and flood, hail, devastation, and the vast and trackless wasteland of my heart, as many times as I have to do so.

Home is, after all, where the heart is.

Even if it's nailed to the wall.

(Lines quoted are taken from Locked Up by Ingrid Michaelson, Disease by Matchbox 20, T.S. Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, ee cummings' a pretty a day, Ingrid Michaelson again, Alfred, Lord Tennyson's The Charge of the Light Brigade, and T.S. Eliot's The Hollow Men.

(Locations ranged from Fallen God's Dark Circus booth at Fantasy Faire 2010, the Chernyobl exhibition, the Junkyard, Tonktastic, the Stringer Mausoleum, the House of Munster and the Wastelands sim.)

you must never shoot trout in September, you must never feed babies on gin

More information on the banning at the Caledon Fourth Anniversary party.

"By acting as the hostess for Caledon's anniversary party, she is acting with the Guvnah's voice. And I know a public banning of ANYONE to this event is not what he would have wanted done in his name."

I tend to agree. The main problem here is that it's already over with, the damage is done. Apologies may come (I tend to think not), but from everything I've heard, this wasn't an isolated incident, it was all dances hosted at this location, and more than one person banned from them, by this host.

I didn't go to the main 4th Anniversary ball, not because I didn't want to, but because I'm still having difficulty breathing, and I tire easily. But I don't think it's overly paranoid to wonder--had I gone, would I also have been banned?

This sets uncomfortable and galling precedent. Because Mr. O'Toole is right, on this thing--whomever hosts the dances for an official state event, hosts as Desmond Shang in absentia. While each person differs, and there is no word-for-word accountability standard, those who host official events are, in this sense, acting with full accord of Des for their actions.

Logically? We can likely dismiss this as an aberration and move on. What does it truly change? But ethically, this is far thornier. Ethically, by this definition, Des wanted those people banned, which I don't believe for a minute. But by this definition, Des also supported the banning--and again, the banning of more than one individual at more than one event--by the fact of the ball's host banning these people.

This sets an excruciatingly poor example. And it's deeply saddening to hear.

In other depressing news, according to Ann O'Toole, creators will no longer be able to save full permission textures to their own hard drives, for use in creating clothing to import back into Second Life, without such practices being a violation of the Linden Labs' Terms of Service.

This is staggering. This changes the entire game. And this may well be the start of the nails in the coffin for content creation on Second Life--or, as Miss O'Toole puts it, "Mark Kingdon's new facebook life".

'Facebook Life' may be becoming more appropriate; without creating our own textures, and modifying them off SL, THEN importing them into world, taking pictures of them against backgrounds we have created using prims that we have textured, then taking those images off...oh, wait, will we even be allowed, come Aprille 1st, to save any textures/photographs/images to our hard drives?

Potentially, using even the literal interpretations, this kills:

* clothing designers
* home designers who take textures off SL to add windows or aging
* furniture makers who take textures off SL to bake on shadows
* photographers
* filmmakers

Is this the SL we want? A world where thee is no user content? A world where there is nothing that we can do that won't be a violation of LL's ToS? What's next, webpages set up for people to pass textures to each other under the table to modify? I can see it now: Nighty Goodspeed sets up a web page. I buy the Isfahan Pavilion set but I want the door a different shape. I can do that in Gimp, but I can't export the texture.

I leave a coded message for Nighty on the web page's forum. She pulls up--out of world--the Isfahan Pavilion texture pack. She sends it to me encrypted with the key. I match my key to hers, decrypt the texture, make the edits I want, then send it to her email.

Nighty opens her email, and imports the altered Isfahan texture, and sells it back to me for whatever price we agreed upon, so I then have legitimate in-world rights to use the texture she made and I altered and gods, it's sounding like it's easier all the way 'round to play City of Heroes.

In the meantime, I've been following a lot of random links to random boards today from Schnaeppchen's blog. One entry she has is on the new Lucky Chair offerings at Violent Seduction (a group I'm also in). This is the Broken Hearted skin:



And this is the Buckled Up black gartered outfit:



Last night I finally won the outfit, but I'm still trying for the skin. It's very frustrating.

But I don't have the patience or the strength to build, and I'm not looking forward to playing a Second Life where we are only gamers, not creators, not builders, not dreamers of the dream. It would, in my opinion, profoundly lack what I originally started playing SL to gain: the ability to create, to see what's in my head, in three dimensions on the grid: to learn from other creators, to see what they create, and to take what I've learned back to my drawing board and learn to make better, build better, draw better.

My world. My imagination.

But M Linden doesn't see it that way. Facebook Life, here we come.