my eyes are made of acid and my tongue is sharp with spite

Because here we friggin' go AGAIN--

[3:53 PM]Soph xD: Howdy!

Feckin' NO ONE is anonymized on this one, I'm so tired, but this is @soph_2.0 on Discord.

[3:53 PM]Soph xD: Curious to ask you smth?
[4:27 PM]Emilly: What's up?
[4:31 PM]Soph xD: Actually wanted tom ask if you are anyhow interested to have any artwork done for yourself it's just i' m a small artist looking for a commission. Don't wanna bother you just trying my luck. Here's some of my previous works..

I will say this, freely--she has some skill. These are great examples of what she can do for both full-body and chibi-body Vtuber art. Not discounting that in the least.

[4:43 PM]Emilly: thunks her head against the desk
[4:43 PM]Emilly: Hold a tic, I have something for this

Because yes, I've sent this reply out to so many people it's just become cut and paste. Void stars. Why me?

[4:44 PM]Emilly: So this I started sending out in February:

[1:26 PM]Emilly: Okay, I'm just going to grab the capsule reply I gave for the first three:

Riiiight....so, @akane.illust, meet @jerry09664 and @kelly_smith (aka @Emalia?) and talk amongst yourselves. There may be a world in which blind calling works; I do not live in that world, alas. But hey, feel free to come up with targeted DMs that may get other people--other, less impoverished people--good responses! I wish you all joy of it.
[1:24 PM]Emilly: And this was March's slightly updated one:

[1:33 PM]Emilly: Okay, I'm just going to grab the capsule reply I gave for the first three:

Riiiight....so, @akane.illust, meet @jerry09664 and @kelly_smith (aka @Emalia?) and talk amongst yourselves. There may be a world in which blind calling works; I do not live in that world, alas. But hey, feel free to come up with targeted DMs that may get other people--other, less impoverished people--good responses! I wish you all joy of it.

[1:28 PM]Emilly: And that was the reply I gave @Maya_denver08. Few more and all of you can start your own design company!
[1:26 PM]Emilly: That I sent to @kazks, I believe

Like I said, this has happened before. I don't know who thinks "PLEASE I WANT TO GIVE YOU ALL THE MONIES FOR ART YOU WONDERFUL BEAN PLEASE NAO" is stamped on my forehead, but I'd bet it comes from the same corner of the internet that sends 40-year-old women who want to punch me in the face in SL, collar me so I can sniff their feet daily, and praise their nylon choices to the heavens.

(That's not even hyperbole, is the astonishing thing. It started out as 'hey wanna wrestle' IMs out of the blue, advanced to 'if you lose--which you will--I get to own you', and the last three added in they planned to collar me and have my nose perpetually near their perfect pearly toesies. Gosh thanks, ever so sorry I can't, I have to go floss the cat.)

[4:46 PM]Emilly: There might be someone else...
[5:03 PM]Emilly: There's also @stella06359, @steff_johhnson, @evalogan0088, @abby_art0, @janny_static (who helpfully included her portfolio), @aahoe17, @mia_world1, @lina_m_hodgson...I think that's everyone? There are a couple marked as "deleted_user[string of numbers]"

She hasn't replied yet. Maybe she won't. But I guaran-damn-tee you, I'm going to get more pushy little beans hopping in my inbox.

LET ME BE CRYSTAL CLEAR: I have nothing against any of these artists. I'm sure they've all done great things. I wish them joy and success in their endeavors.

Just not with me. In the past seven years, I haven't been able to even grab the coin together for a better mic, what makes them think I can afford art?

AND I'M SURE THERE WILL BE MORE but this was still in drafts when ANOTHER artist dropped into my DMs:

[1:35 PM]Lauren4: Hey there?

That was sent on December 17th, I saw it a day later.

[7:18 PM]Emilly: Hi? I know you from where?
[11:24 AM]Lauren4: Oh thats great

Handy tip: A "Have we met" answered with "Oh that's great" is nearly always going to get my hackles up. It's giving classic "I'm not reading anything you're sending back because I want to pitch my project". I figured 80/20, either another goddamn artist or a sex worker. (Again, for clarity: I have nothing against either. But I also can't afford either.)

[11:24 AM]Lauren4: Well how are you doing?
[9:57 PM]Emilly: Okaaaay.
[9:58 PM]Emilly: I would ask again, do I know you? If I have to ask again I'll just block you.

Hostile? Yes. Really not fond of the whole "Emilly means a patron" I apparently have stamped on my virtual forehead. That was on December 19th.

[3:34 PM]Lauren4: Nope
[3:34 PM]Lauren4: Now i ask again how are you doing?

Now she's confirmed not paying attention and I'm sharpening the knives. Also on December 19th, as is the reply below.

[7:03 PM]Emilly:

[11:24 AM]Lauren4: Well how are you doing?
[9:57 PM]Emilly: Okaaaay.

Thought that would've covered it.

So, let's go for blunt, then: who are you and what do you want?

[11:28 AM]Lauren4: First of all thank you for Allowing me to talk the thing is I'm an artist by profession and seeking for a emergency commission , I would really love to show you my portfolio too and rn due to the upcoming event of "CHRISTMAS" I'm running some massive discounts and offers !
[6:19 PM]Emilly: *headdesk*
[6:19 PM]Emilly: Okay, hold a tic, I have a thing for this
[6:30 PM]Emilly: Riiiight....so, @akane.illust, meet @jerry09664, @Maya_denver08, @stella06359, @steff_johhnson, @evalogan0088, @abby_art0, @janny_static, @soph_2.0, @aahoe17, @mia_world1, @lina_m_hodgson, @kazks and @kelly_smith (aka @Emalia?) and talk amongst yourselves. There may be a world in which blind calling works; I do not live in that world, alas. But hey, feel free to come up with targeted DMs that may get other people--other, less impoverished people--good responses! I wish you all joy of it.
[6:31 PM]Emilly: Y'all really need to talk to each other and figure out what works and what doesn't. I can tell you what will 95% of the time absolutely NOT work: blindly sending "hello" to a disabled person with very limited income.

Now, note: I have paid for digital art before. Everyone in my household has. We are not against digital art. That is not the point. The point is I cannot afford a bust, half-body, or whole-body full-color with additional separate expressions/hand positions to use in Twitch streaming with camera capture tied in. UNTIL I AM AT THAT POINT I'm getting really sick of always being asked.

So! If anyone IS interested in Vtuber art (or in a case of a couple folks above, any digital art, possibly even mailed prints), AND you're on Discord, PLEASE feel free to contact any of them for further details. They're all working artists, hit them up.

Just please leave me out of it. I'm tired.
[[Note from the Editrix before publishing: there's some coding errors in this one, I'm being called out to the front room, I just want to get this out tonight because there's another LONG pause of no entries, and I'm playing with the blog template again. AAAAAGH. But here you go.]]>/i>

got some feeling coming back

Well, this is going to give me nightmares. (Seriously, this is disturbing content. Not nudity, per se,, and not gore or violence, really...It's just skin-crawling, disturbing AI images. Be *warned*.)

Also, uh, hi again. I have about ten drafts waiting to be finished, that I planned to finish, and then the days ganged up on me again. Bah. If anything's not time-critical, I'll do my best to backdate, but only by a few days, not the month before, or the month before that--when I was supposed to pull my act together and toss them in as entries.

Anyway, soooo.....currently I'm at Harvest of Souls, which I still think of as a "newer" event? My brain thinks it started after SABBATH--or Ritual--but definitely not past Salem or...bah, what's the other name...I know it's not Trick or Treat Lane, because they've been around FOREEEVERRR...Gods, October's going to suck this year, EVERY event is planning on opening, it seems...



"You may ask yourself, 'Well, how did I get here?'"

Though that's not really my main question. I'm actually trying to avoid the main question, which circles around between "I haven't updated since WHEN?!?" and "If I'm going to stand around in world, by myself, for six hour stretches of time while I'm distracted to the point of getting nothing done in RL, either...am I really needed in world?" That one...I'm going to have to deal with at some point.

At some point. But not today.



"Little fish, big fish, swimming in the water..."

Today I'm at the event. I may do an entirely separate entry just walking around and capturing really fun landscaping. But I do look like I dressed for the booth, weirdly, and I hadn't seen it before porting to the event. What's actually in the booth, for sale, is /Vae Victis\' "Cernunnos" Monarch Antlers. It's now entirely redone mesh, all original work by Grimoire Hexem, and I'll get around to reviewing that hopefully soon!

[[Insert from the Editrix, sadly AFTER publishing--I am a complete FAILURE, I have forgotten how Vae Victis is spelled, oh, the horror and tragedy--but, err, the names have been fixed. My deepest apologies. When I'm more awake--the Editrixing is taking place late at night and one day forward...as is tradition...I'll check the keywords on other entries.]]

This is not going to be my usual exhaustive review. also. I know there are three places to change the color scheme, the jar itself, the trim along the jar edges, and the edges of the crack that the souls are trying, so very hard, to break through. Each can be tinted fourteen different tones, though I fully acknowledge that the booth's red light (along with the red facelight I'd forgotten I had on), means you're not getting that good a look at the options.



"I have my scars, you have yours..."

And, of course, we're only mentioning tangentially that having a migraine for a day and a half may have impaired some of my ability to brain and take pictures. Still. (This is not me asking for sympathy, either. My brain and I are not on speaking terms at the moment--it knows what it did--but that doesn't mean I'm trying to add stress and worry to anyone's plate. Yes, the Eternal Headache is still there, and why yes, the migraine was laying over it--but it doesn't matter. The headache is just that--mine.)



"Walk on water through the swamp..."

I can't even say for certain which color combos I used. My notes were scattershot. I did say this:

"The jar I'm holding, by the way, is one of the hunt prizes. Fourteen colors for the jar, fourteen for the trim, and fourteen for the broken edge that reveals trapped souls yearning to be free. Broken things can be very pretty, and this is, oh, so very pretty."

So yes, that's worth a mention. The Harvest of Souls event is having a scavenger hunt, of sorts. It requires a hud and tracking down and getting information from the residents of Hallow's End, where the Harvest of Souls can be found. Don't worry, there's only five town residents you need to talk to, and the hunt HUD is free, so why not take your chance to get hunt pretties? Including the soul jar.



"But what would you say if you were given one chance to say it?"

I remember this color set, though. This was me playing solely with hot pink and teal. Those are the vaporwave settings, apparently. And if you hadn't noticed (because I'm now noticing that in the pics, it's a bit hard to tell), this is another hand-held floaty thing. I have a soft spot for floaty things in general, and hand-held floating things specifically. So I'm overjoyed that it's their hunt prize.



"There's a red horse pawing at the door, in the hurricane of hands that I've ignored..."

So, that's the pitch. You want to see cool, innovative designs from some very cool, innovative designers? This is one of the places I'd suggest. Sure, I plan to go to Trick or Treat Lane when it opens, and of course I'm going to meander through the available October hunts...but I really liked the feel of this place. It's not "Boo, I'm a ghost, gotcha!" moments, it's not tons of blood and gore--it's, dare I say this, subtle. And comforting.



"Swallowing such sweet sorrow down..."

No, wait, I did forget one thing! Arkhive's back! Yes, Mesmer Macabre's personal brand has resurfaced, and this one hasn't gone to the bloggers yet, so I may have to count pennies. (It might not be sent my way anyway, because when Arkhive closed up, I left the group.) Either way, it is a lovely, lovely thing and I wannnts it. L$450 currently at the Harvest of Souls; likely more if you wait until it hits the mainstore!

And did I mention the antlers from /Vae Victus\ are L$500 at the event? Well, expect that in a future entry. I can say that Arkhive's spiffy staff will work with the spiffy staff AO from /Vae Victus\. Synchronicity is nice.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a river calling. If I catch a fallen autumn leaf, can I ride it all the way to Gearhaven? Let's find out!

and that's when the world seemed to stop (part two)

First off: the entry for the Typhon Monstrous Adorned Horns entry has been updated. Not a lot of changes, but in going back through it, I realized I'd left out a link for /Vae Victis\ (the mainstore}, Abnormality (their coming soon page, because the next Abnormality round is in August, two months away), and I realized I never got back to the Vineyard Terrace information cards on swamp biomes. In a very tangible sense, swamps are the natural representation of liminal space.

Continuing from yesterday...



We're starting with the second set of panels from the run, and...wait.
Did...I not have more panels to show off?? I mean, I know the last picture from yesterday was another multi-shot, but...I could have sworn I took more pictures...

A...pparently not! I just chose to show off some of the insets in the squnched-short version.

Well. These are AT THE MAINSTORE BY NOW, and--having tracked them down in the meantime--I now know they run L$450 for the set in store. (Which, I should mention again, includes both the short-tall and the REALLY tall versions, plus each geta has the choice of plain or etched panels, in the colors so chosen.

I must love the sound of deadlines swooshing by.

Next up: something unofficial I decided to do on my own--who DOES make the highest heels in SL? Tune in...uh...whenever I post again?

he cried and said, "She's crazy", and showed off all his burns

I may, in fact, have too much color for the ShuǐMò Gallery, but they're very inviting:

[21:37] Shui Mo Entrance: Welcome to ShuǐMò Gallery! This space is an art installation created in the style of Chinese ink brush (ShuǐMò) painting by FionaFei. Initially designed as a stand-alone art installation is now also used to house Fiona's other artworks. Follow the scrolls to the giant red double doors to head inside! Please feel free to roam around the space and sit on the artwork. :-) Enjoy your visit Emilly Orr!

And then six days pass...(Also the above was written six days ago...)



Four of those days were spent unpacking shoe demos. I wish I was kidding, that's how many I pulled down. (Never let it be said I don't commit fully to the bit.) One day was spent starting to pick the best ones to compare with the geta set, so I wouldn't have to stand around at the gallery forever going through things.

And yesterday...all hell broke loose.



And then today, I find out that essay is under "official review" for violation of the site's rules. Which strikes me as shutting the office after the whistle-blower's gone...

Unfortunately, the problem's not going to just disappear, and while I fully grant, fracturing a leg--after passing the year mark on the Never-Ending Headache--distracted me enough not to notice last November that this was starting to become known, and folks were scrambling to invent stopgaps to prevent child avatars from accessing their adult sims...

The mere fact that I have to type that should be enough to give us all pause. Because...why would a child avatar want access to adult sims? But also, at least one of the SL children I know--and for the other three, one's deceased and one's mentioned in that article and one went to Zindra opening day...only spends part of time in SL as a child, and the other part as an adult avatar. So--how do we deal with those cases?

Plus, the Gearhaven estate comprising sims who want to fully lean in to that adult branding...discussion arose on the essay, and what we, as an estate, wanted to do, and Hiro said--at least for a while--zero tolerance. If it's even slightly iffy, bounce.

Considering the Duchess of Gearhaven had the habit of running around as a Dinkie, or in the Kemono avatar, to build or landscape...that zero tolerance policy means I can't. Which means we have to give severe side-eye looks to Tinies who wander in, or anyone wearing the Tweenster avatar...it's going to be a mess. It already is a mess, considering the Linden accused was responsible for firing a well-known security specialist...and the optics on that are so, so bad. Because even holding the assumption that that particular Linden is innocent of all charges, he did, essentially, fire a security specialist for asking questions. AKA, you know, doing her job.



Ooh, yeah. Get ready for forty-seven miles of barbed wire. Soooo much fun.

movers sulk like gravediggers, while you hug at the door

"Is this AI trying to learn?"

This also strikes me as AI work (and there is mild nudity, so potentially NSFW), but the song is moody, and atmospheric, and the animation is at the least fascinating to watch.

(Bit on Kiki Rockwell in general, because I hadn't heard her before--this article was written in January of this year, so she's relatively new, and from New Zealand.)



So! The 'Atropa' Parasite Flower, another iteration of an earlier work. It needed to be covered. [[Insert from the Editrix: I am being *very honest* in dating...sort of...in that the Necropolis Aether Salon occurred on 18 October, I started seriously working on this entry ten days later, on 28 October...but it's getting dated November 5th for final publishing.]]

It's a new library site, as well. No idea why, though it could have something to do with the current absence of the Baron, but--overall, it seems a much more warm, comforting space.



And yes, that is the Chartes Cathedral labyrinth in the library. I don't know if it's always there, or if that was an addition for the Salon on the Necropolis, as understood through a few eras. Either way, it's a lovely thing to see in a library.



And Sir Edward definitely was in his element for this one, comparing various cities of the Victorian and Edwardian eras, how they dealt with body disposal as a whole, as well as side jaunts into places like the Paris Catacombs and the Sedlec Ossuary in Kutná Hora, Czech Republic.



Basically, I wanted to attend--not only because I wanted to hear the Necropolis Salon, but because I thought it would be a good way to capture some still pics of me wearing the Atropa flower.



So as seen in the first pic for this entry, there are fourteen different options for the metals, fourteen for the petals, and I think seventeen different options for the vines?

If I'm counting correctly.



It was a pretty piece before, without the trailing vines, but there's something...extra...added with that addition.



I like it, though. I can easily see this being an oft-used accessory.



This was an exclusive release for Hallow Manor, which opened October 13th and closed November 1st. Now, it's in the mainstore, and if you want a direct beacon to the accessories wall, then click this. It's L$400, post-event.

Also, apparently it's Second Life Annual Cleanup Week. So, uh...go do that, I guess.

like puzzle pieces, and now we're here at a standstill

Additional Revenant explanation! Because why not?



First, someone's made art of my current state. Fantastic. And such a deal at two thousand Lindens.

Second, I really tried to make a pretty frame and turn these images out proper, and...the head is not having it at this point. I'm currently huddled around the jar of candied ginger eating rice cakes with cream cheese, because it has the best chance of staying down. Love this for me.



So, something I only noticed when I logged in today--as I mentioned in the previous entry, I changed zero settings, just captured it as is. It uses the standard ZHAO II framework, so you can edit the notecard inside and add in new poses, et cetera.



But this is the one I really wanted to track down. So, when I'm feeling better, I'm going to look at changing some of the times, but it's a very straightforward notecard. I would definitely make a copy if you're not used to working with interior scripting, but there is a handy help button on the HUD that will toss you a general ZHAO II help card.

Hope that clears up some things!

Have a shot of adorable Xiu blep:



And to tie this up, I can't even get the kids to behave when it's just trace shadows of their adult selves:



They are exceptionally stubborn. I blame the parents, really.

And that's all for this! Seeya!

we're choosing the path between the stars

It's halo time!



No, seriously, because Arkivet, one of the the brands I joyfully cover, put out a new one, AND they have a new location for the one they put out in December! So let's gooooo!

I had this idea to find a frozen wasteland, or some sparse expanse of black rock, and...today's a "that's not happening" day. So, we are not dressed formally, and we are not where we wanted to be. We're doing it anyway.



I'm actually taking shots for this at the Darkness event.

The first thing you need to know about the Arkivet Anesidora Keybound Halo is it will pop your complexity up a TON. I'm already fairly high with the hair and the particular shoes--my normal running-around at events is between 54K and 80K, today I clock in at 96,121. Putting on the Animated version of the halo raised that to 105,718.

Nothing wrong with that, we do pay for detail work--but it's something to be aware of.



(I don't remember if Arkivet has a booth at the Darkness event, but if you haven't gotten the lovely Fenrisulfr pelt boa from /Vae Victis\. it's still on sale here for L$500.)



There are six different places you can tint on this: the trim work, the body of the halo, the inset metalwork, the gems, the center chevrons, and the key diamonds. Each of those can be tinted a total of ten different shades. Make it all in one, or mix and match colors--entirely up to you.



It will be available at Abnormality when it opens February 2nd, so I'll update this then!



Now off to Mystic Realms, where both /Vae Victis\ and Arkivet have little booths. Currently there, you can find the Remph's Wheel halo. Right out of the box this is winter-wonderland joy, but it also has a tint hud, to recolor each of five sections, with eleven different options.



From the back is the only way you can really see the center gem, so here you go. And yes, I know this outfit has butt ghosties, shut up.



This one, you can get from the Arkivet booth for L$300!

Both have two different versions, animated and static. So there are options there two! Enjoy.

(One more thing I want to point out, since it reads as a HUD so got captured: porting in to Mystic Realms, you have a choice to accept, deny, or block their RP Experience. I don't plan to be involved, but I said yes because it's easiest, got set up to take pics, then had to go nap. When I came back to capture the shots for this run, it auto-attached the wee HUD.

(It's not terrible placement, and it is fairly inconspicuous, so I didn't bother with it. But it's another thing to be aware of if you port to the booths in the Realms.)

I walked out in a field, the grass was high, it brushed against my legs

DJ Violet Scrivener announced a late-night set, which she doesn't usually do, spinning for a new photographer's gallery. So off I went to check it out. Turns out it's another Morningstar on the grid--this one named Lizbeth.



She does run into the same problem we're all used to--I'm usually the only model around when I have a picture idea, so I end up in a lot of my pictures. It's less ego than accessibility.



It's a decent space for dancing, walking around--two-story building, so lots of room for her to expand, too.



This is "Wake". She definitely has an eye--most of her pieces feel very ethereal, somewhat vintage, but she definitely has a good eye for photography.



Some good messages are found here and there, too.



There's at least one RL photograph here, too.



Even the build is pretty, but there is something I apparently missed:

[21:36] Lizbeth Morningstar: Dear All my honorable guests, Please use "shared environment" to have a better lighting here. Here are 3 floors displaying my photos and dance balls next to the DJ booth. You may dance and chill after seeing the photos. ^^
[21:36] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Three floors? I missed the third floor!

Oops. Well, you'll have to check it out when you're here, then.

You can find the gallery in Peeley. If you see this before, say, eleven pm SLT tonight, you might be able to stop by and dance with us.

cry to the angels and let them swallow you

So, I've developed something of a thing for artificial intelligence machine learning. There's a lot of different ways to do it, and I've read articles on all of them, it feels like. But one that's growing in popularity is image generation. I started playing on Deep Dream, then, a few years later, moved to DALL-E (which is now https://www.craiyon.com/), then to NightCafe Studio, and finally I was accepted to the Midjourney open beta (that last link will open a Discord prompt to join their Discord server, which is how they enable the image generation system through a bot function).

Let's take an example I found through Midjourney. The search prompt was "beautiful woman modeling a stunning silk floral kimono outfit, in the style of Alexis Franklin and Tom Bagshaw, no blur". So this is what that turned up for Midjourney:



Great detail, wonderful differentiation, little fuzzy on the hat, and in the fourth image, the hand looks somewhat detached, but otherwise, this could be four different portraits hanging in a gallery somewhere.

Meanwhile, the same search term through NightCafe brings us, well...this:



Great pattern, style very similar to a kimono, black sticks for arms, headless, but decent.

And that brings us to Craiyon, where I ran the same prompt. Midjourney nets the user four to six detailed images, depending on detail of prompt, which the requestor can then reiterate, or evolve. NightCafe nets the user only one image, but generally extremely detailed, which can then be evolved. Craiyon does nine quick "sketches", and it's abysmal with facial recognition. These were the six that made the most visual sense:



Definite kimono, it's the right cut, the pattern's good, the pose is good. And at least with a side profile, it doesn't look so completely like the face is distorted.

And for all of these, I didn't chop off the heads, they came that way.



Remember what I said about their AI engine not quite..."getting"..faces? This is an excellent example. You can tell that it IS "face", but...not much beyond that.



The third only works, I think, because the head is cut off...



The fourth is not a kimono, but it's a great pattern, and it's a pretty perfect attempt at a sari. Face is still very odd.



This one's not as bad at some of the others, but it's still not the best face.



And this one could have walked straight out of a J-horror film.

There are some ethical concerns with the technology, to be fair--this article lays them out fairly well for Google's Imagen generator--but it's one step further for machine iteration in the goal for independent consciousness. And that is still fairly exciting to me.

Ultimately, we'll just have to realize we're moving into the era of post-reality, and adjust as we can.