something's hiding in the pantry, but I can't find it, so would you please

All right. This one will of necessity verge on the political. I'm not here to discuss that, precisely? But the behavior of one person in specific in that one freebie group. Okay? That being said, I do have definite opinions, and they will creep in. (Though I doubt any long-term reader won't know them already...)

[11:00] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Petit Mort has a Black Lives Matter cop tank top gift as well as a compassion tapestry. In the group gift section, but NGN.

To be fair, they're not the only one. There's also a couple over at a protest event--I still don't know what it's called, though, because only half of it ever rezzes in when I port there. There are some really confrontative works there, though--art, sculpture, and of course, some pointed freebies. But again, that's not the point.

[11:00] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *crop tank top, not cop tank top. unfortunate typo
[11:01] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *giggles* (although BLM is actually a terrorist political group) typos happen

Yeah, no, try again. This is our first problem child, Ms. [Sxxw] (giving that much of her name due to having another Ms. S below).

[11:01] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wow
[11:01] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: shame on you
[11:01] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: sad but true noo noyt shame on me
[11:02] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ok, run along little fascist wanna be troll

I think she meant "not", and this was the first little blow-up; in a lot of my groups, there've been these little spats that the group mods have tried to quash. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn't. It's a heated time, on the grid and off.

But more importantly, now they're both escalating the drama.

[11:02] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: No no no no no.
[11:02] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: We will not do this in this group.
[11:02] Exxxxxxxxx Gxxxxxxx: [Sxxx] and [axxxxxx], please peace
[11:03] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no peace with racist trash
[11:03] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: sorry, but we all need to stand up for decency
[11:03] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: or WE are the problem

I do tend to agree, to a point, at least in RL. We can no longer stand by when we see something that's manifestly wrong. We NEED to stand up, make others aware. Stop it if we can, but at the least acknowledge the harm that happened.

But in SL, there are different cultural expectations. One is, don't just randomly be political, racist, bigoted, homophobic or transphobic, misogynistic or misandrist, et cetera, in places that aren't desiring that level of confrontation. Especially in groups where a) they're going to tell you not to say anything about X anyway, and b, have nothing to do with the politics of the day, it's fairly useless bringing up the topics at hand. Mods will just jump down your throat, and if none are online, you'll just end up with a bunch of offended yelling people.

(And yes, I realize I'm viewing this through my own lens, because I believe tolerance is very important. But my beliefs aren't everyones', and I understand that. All I try to do in world is ask for civility, if respect and understanding can't happen.)

(I also occasionally fail at civility.)

[11:04] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *not shame on me I think what happened to Mr. Floyd was terrible police brutality but raciaisling and groups taking advantage for political opportunism is shameful.

"Racializing" is not only misspelled there, but it's also a terrible word usually used to indicate specific opinions. Which Ms. [Sxxw] seems to have.

But more to the point, Antifa and people in BLM seem, largely, to be protesting peacefully, as is legal and allowable. Most of the people stomping around shooting people are white supremacists looking for their coveted 'race war'. Tell me again how that's the fault of non-whites.

[11:04] Exxxxxxxxx Gxxxxxxx: we are not going to talk about it here [Sxxw]

As I'm trying not to talk about it (and also, failing). But it's context for what's coming up.

[11:05] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: We already said no, not in here.
[11:05] Sxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxx: good to be able to spend some time here and find awesome things..thanks to all.

Now, I was still getting dressed at this point, and hadn't read back, but I do laud Ms. H for trying to sway the chat back to center.

[11:05] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ANtifa and BLM are not good things they are terrorists who stir up raciial issues on purpose. and YOu start name calling to me calling names I am not, shame on YUO!

"Racial", and "you". And again, no, I think you're more the issue, [Sxxw].

[11:05] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I only mentioned it because BLM was mentioned.
[11:05] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: YOU
[11:06] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ppeaceful protests not rioting...
[11:06] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: chat lag causingtypos lol

Blaming the chat lag? Really? And for the most part, in most cities, it is peaceful protests. When night falls and the guns come out--again, largely owned by white instigators pushing for racial genocide--that's when the problems are happening.

[11:06] Exxxxxxxxx Gxxxxxxx: next warn is a ban

Oh, I hope so.

[11:06] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wow
[11:06] fxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx Oh: When people can't follow the rules they need to be dismiss from the group.... when they have no reguard for others feelings

"Regard".

[11:06] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: smh
[11:07] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I HAVE plenty of loving feelings just stating a fact. I am not the problem

She is, actually. Very much part of the problem. One person mentioned BLM, it could have stopped there. She had to spout off about terrorists. So yes, she is the problem.

[11:07] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I was not the one who brought politics in to the dicussion actually

Actually, no, Ms. [Sxxw], all Ms. A mentioned was the name. Just that. YOU brought politics into it. YOU escalated it further by naming them terrorists, then even LATER used the dog whistle term "racializing". It's not on Ms A., this one. It's on YOU.

[11:07] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: omg [sxxw] is still talking?

Apparently.

[11:07] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: u no ppl feeling wont be hurt is yall will stop taking

And meet Ms. I. And her inability to spell. She definitely is also part of the problem.

[11:07] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: drop it already
[11:08] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: talkin*

Remembering you dropped an L from 'talking' doesn't correct the "u" for "you" and the "no" for "know", and does nothing for the "ppl" for people. Do better.

[11:08] Exxx Cxxxxxxx: eyerolls in solidarity with [Rxxx]
[11:08] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: like not cause yall in a roup tat makes yall get stuff yall have to talk

"Group", "chat", you really need to drop different letters if you want to be understood.

[11:08] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: Ever ! Hugs
[11:08] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: abd constantly be disturbing other

It's "and", actually. And other...what? People? Groups? Small yellow plastic soap dishes? What?

[11:08] Sxxxxxx Hxxxxxxxx blocks the things I don't want to hear

Probably wise. I'm contemplating it for Ms. [Sxxw].

[11:08] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: amyway...moving on

"Anyway".

[11:09] Jxxxxxxx Nxxx: Ooooh where can I get an eyeroll ani for Lelutka?

Interesting question. I went to look. I found this one, but it's pre-Bento, and just causes the eyes to roll independently. They also have this one, but again, it's pre-Bento, and spendier.

Maybe there are more specific search terms than "eye roll animation" or "Bento eye roll", though.

[11:09] Exxx Cxxxxxxx: LMAO
[11:09] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Lol
[11:09] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: like jeez stfu and take the free [s**t] yall get u wanna talk add the person and im them

Can you not, Ms. I? Now you're the one causing drama.

[11:09] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *anyway*

You caught that, great.

[11:09] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yall jus love to chat o [f*k] man
[11:09] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Language, please.

Yeah, even misspelled, it's still against the rules.

[11:09] Jxxxxxxx Nxxx: That would get a lot of use. Bonus if it's discounted!
[11:10] Gxxxxxxx Axxxxx: Indeed.
[11:10] Exxx Cxxxxxxx: mine would stick that way
[11:10] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: O no, I said languange please.

"Languange"? Really?

[11:10] Exxx Cxxxxxxx: permanently lol
[11:10] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I use genus.. anyone? with the eyeroll thingy
[11:10] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol
[11:11] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no cussing in group please
[11:11] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: chat lag agaion lol

"Again".

[11:11] Txxxxx Rxxxxx: black olives matter

A poor, but I think earnest, attempt at levity at this point.

[11:11] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Oh my gosh ...
[11:12] Mxxx Fxxxxxxxx: lo i saw eye roll animations on mp
[11:12] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh sorry, i must have it all wrong. i guess black lives DON'T matter here?

No, you're not wrong, but yes, you are wrong in persisting. The mods are attempting to redirect, and you, Ms. [Sxxw], Ms. I, and Ms. S are having none of it.

[11:12] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Excellent, [Jxxxx]!
[11:12] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: @[Txxxxx] black olives matter really
[11:12] Mxxx Fxxxxxxxx: all lives matter

It was a single toss-off comment to attempt to lighten the mood, which failed, but come on, that's not the hill Ms. T is attempting to die on, okay? Relax.

But, more importantly, the entire reason it's "Black Lives Matter" and not "All Lives" or just "Lives" is to point out the disparity between how white people suspected of criminal activity are treated, and how black people are. There is a disproportionate number of blacks to whites in prison; a very disproportionate number of blacks getting shot by cops, whether they were committing a crime or not. The point was to push that realization that blacks in this country are historically considered more dangerous, lesser, less intelligent, less thoughtful, and are treated as that by a large bulk of cops. Shoot first, don't bother to ask questions has always been the order of the day.

[11:12] axxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: it was just info on a freebie that i appreciate, not anything that anyone needs to argue on

Truth. It was a single mention, and it spawned all of this.

[11:12] Gxxxxxxx Axxxxx: It's SL. no life matters. :-p
[11:12] Sxxxxxx Rxxxx: whoa. what di dI log into?

"Did I", and drama. As usual.

[11:12] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Axxxxxx].

Mmhmm. Ms. A., Ms. I, Ms. S., and Ms. other S, in short.

[11:12] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: u no what let me leave this

Feel free.

[11:12] ixxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: group before i cuss t* out u

Door's over there.

[11:13] Txxxxx Rxxxxx: lol
[11:14] Jxxxxx Dxxxxx: OK I have had enough for today so closing chat sorry

Probably wise.

Then, later:

[11:36] hxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I want everyone to remember to be respectful of one another. We will have differing views on matters of great import and matters of little import. We MUST be respectful of that. We are living in difficult times for a cornucopia of reasons. The typists behind the avatars are real, live, human beings. [11:36] sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yes
[11:38] Emilly Orr: Thank you, [Dxxxxx].

But I won't lie, that's where I blocked the little pipsqueak. Her whole "I love everyone but genuinely upset black people are bad" attitude? Not one I'm going to deal with now. Take your "Live, Love, Laugh" poster and your likely frosted hair away, Karen, I'm in no mood.

and I don't know how I ever thought that I could make it all alone

Good Housekeeping put together a list of when and how to wash your hands, and the proper techniques to do so. If nothing else, all of this is reinforcing the importance of clean hands.

Meanwhile, if pictures work better, how about the official NHS handwashing diagram? Those pictures are clear and the descriptions fairly simple. Or...and I do hesitate to link this, because it is very unsafe for work...have the naked from the waist up version. (In my defense, it did actually help me with one area--I wasn't quite getting the circle-fingernails-in-center-of-opposite-palm motion. So...there's that.)

There's a new cabin out this week from Trompe L'oeil. This time around it's a lovely A-frame with accompanying chairs. (First link is for pictures, second for location. The first link also mentions the no-group-necessary hunt at Dench Designs for a few random furnishings.)

Meanwhile, this is a list of very caring merchants who have put out "Stay at Home" gifts to encourage seclusion. Some of the vendors may require purchase of a Linden, but all are free, so it will be refunded.

And all I have left is to encourage readers to comply with shelter-in-place restrictions, if at all possible. Most other countries seem to have this down, but I've seen far too many posting-from-the-pub shots from the UK for my liking, and in the states...it really seems like a third of the country is staying home and trying not to get sick--or sicken anyone else--and the other two-thirds, including many of our elected officials, are behaving as if this is no worse than the common cold.

It's worse. It's much worse. And it can--and has--caused permanent lung damage in people, so those who go out and flaunt the restrictions, then get it, may not only get sick, but end up needing inhalers or respirator equipment for life. And it's not just hitting the elderly--it's hitting everyone. Everyone from birth to death is at risk. So please, please take care of yourselves, and those around you.

Because it's not just your life you risk, it's other lives...but it's also lung damage, which you may be left with for the rest of your life. Hear that if nothing else.

but I'd have to lay dead so long that I wouldn't have a chance to come back here and tell my friends (part 1)

Why do these exist? I'm just confused.

But onto the topic at hand. I got into a conversation about recent...shall we say...new restrictive policies in one of my gifts and cheapies groups. (Not identifying the group, per usual, but if you know, you know.) But during that conversation, something came up about another recent patch of drama that had occurred earlier this morning.

So, I am going to anonymize the user to which this happened, but I am leaving everything else intact. And I've kept the original card, if anyone wants it. This is with permission, as noted below. And I'm also pretty sure this is going to be long, so this is the first of two (at least) entries.

On 5 November 1605, Guy Fawkes, a member of the Gunpowder Plot, attempted to blow up the House of Lords in England On 5 November 2019, [Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx] let blew her lid off and here is what happened in [the group in question]

Enjoy and feel free to share

I skipped the beginning section, to get to the relevant sections, but the notecard has everything.

[05:53] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Yeah ! finally got into that sim to slap my fav MMs
[05:53] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Sorry, not postable here
[05:54] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Any texture places you guys might know ?
[05:54] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ohh everyday thy post some, but I can't remember the names aww
[05:54] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [PX] : USC, Timeless and Philomena are now "Do Not Post"

For anyone lost, the Philomena mentioned there is the designer for Texture Junction.

[05:55] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: really??? timeless it is posted daily
[05:55] hxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: they moved to a new sim and now got classified as a "mall"

Now, this is very odd. Because Xzavia hasn't changed a thing in her store environment, save for a new build FOR the store--she had mini-stores rented off her main store for all her former years of operation, and, now that she's on the adult sim, she's done the same thing. She is not a mall, if by the earlier standards she qualified, because they're even the same stores!

[05:55] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yikes!!
[05:55] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I know, lol, but recently they classd it as "Mall" - Just saying
[05:56] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *smh* sad
[05:56] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but if you have the LM go anyway. Only not posting.
[05:56] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Hxxxxxxx], yes. Xavia (Timeless) has built a big mall around her new place, and Phil built on a sim theat has "Mall" in the sim name

Yeah, no, that's not accurate. She had satellite shops on her last sim. She has satellite shops on this one. They're even the same satellite shops for the most part. So she's either NOT a mall now, or she IS a mall now, and she always WAS, so nothing's changed.

[05:57] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: a Mall is a Mal (evil) *chuckle*
[05:57] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Oh I still go, lol, just feel the fingers fighting to post lol
[05:57] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well, there is a story about Malls, and how and why they were banned in [this group]
[05:57] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *puts an icecream on [Cxxxxxxx's] fingers*
[05:58] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: "they" were banned because they caused floods of posts, mostly for not-so-good items
[05:58] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Malls have.... very assorted stores. I think that is the reason.

These rules date from the same era as the no vehicles rules, no MMs in clubs, and no animation/pose/AO shop MMs, because those three categories were generally full of ripped content, and many of the malls at that time sold that ripped content, and this group wanted to sidestep that entire mess.

[05:59] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: At the time, a Mall was a collection of small, cheaply rented shops, with a few MMs or LCs inside, most in sight of each other
[05:59] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: So somebody wold walk into a Mall, and post 20 shops, followed by other members posting an other flood of MMs there
[06:00] Xxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I can admit to being curious about that...though I can make some guesses...not a big thing to me, really, as group owners can make whatever rules they want. I can imagine there must have been some bad experiences at some point.
[06:00] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Not criticising, just telling a story around the camp fire
[06:00] Xxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: And some of what I see posted would have been my guesses
[06:00] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: bad experience eas flood of posts
[06:01] Xxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I am only 3-plus years in SL, so not familiar with a lot history..good or bad
[06:01] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Nowadays, if you look at a "Mall" like Timeless Textures, it is a different beast. More quality, fewer shops
[06:02] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but the "No Malls" rule habit is now engrained, to the point where Mods will refuse to have a look, and allow _That_Mall_Only to be posted

It's worse than that, because the mods approved Timeless before. They won't now. And it's not just the shift from Moderate to Adult on the sim--they've allowed Adult sims before, as long as there is nothing in direct view that has adult animations, or can be in any way considered adult. And I know this for a fact--Xzavia pored over the ToS where child avatars and Adult sims were concerned. NOTHING happens that is Zindra-level Adult on her sim. It's just shops in the sky, there's no access to any Adult items, furniture, attire, period. It's essentially PG in that regard, so it SHOULD be approved by the mods, exactly as it was before.

But oh no, it's suddenly a "Mall" and nope, can't be posted.

[06:03] hxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Yup. I was told in no uncertain terms yesterday that they will not consider that.
[06:03] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: we lost some stores that way, but we need keep going ahead

But do we, is the question I have. Take the example of Timeless again. She is no more a mall than she was before, which is to say, she's either not a mall now, or she was a mall then. Pick one and hold to it, but don't tell me she wasn't a mall before, and she IS now, and THAT'S why you don't allow it, because that means a) you're lying to my face or b) stupid beyond all redemption. Which is it?

[06:04] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: What bugs me is not "The Rules"... Just the way the newest bunch of Mods have been interpreting them... To the letter, strictly, and not to the spirit for which they were intended
[06:04] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Old hands here will know what I am talking about if they were here 6 or 7 years ago
[06:05] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well, keep hunting, ask a Mod if it can be posted, repeat
[06:05] Nxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There is a group that does allow malls that does allow shops in adult areas that even allows adult material , just not this group , this group is only for gatcha give aways and for pg shops

Uh...since when? This group has, since the VERY BEGINNING, been for Midnight Manias, Mini-Manias, group gifts, extremely discounted items, and for posting free-to-join groups if needed to get their group gifts. Since when was it only for posting gacha giveaways?

[06:06] yxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but we look fabulous, anyway *winks*
[06:06] Nxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: exactly
[06:06] hxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I am no longer comfortable posting any stores in this group. Even if I do my absolute best to follow the rules as I know and understand them after several eyars in the group, I get shouted at every time. Not politely corrected. Shot down. It's not worth it.

And this reaction is getting posted more and more after. Even I've basically come to the conclusion that unless what I have to say is something I think utterly inoffensive and within all bounds of all rules, I won't post, or chat. Because 90% of the time I'm corrected anyway.

[06:07] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and you are not the only one to feel that way
[06:08] hxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: It's really sad as I used to love it.

Me too.

[06:09] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: 5 years ago, it was great
[06:09] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There were arguments with the Mods at times, sure, but the atmosphere was different
[06:09] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and Mods were usually polite, never openly insulting
[06:10] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: 7 years in this Group, and I never saw anyone being shouted at in CAPS in Group
[06:10] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Until [Dxxxxx] showed up
[06:11] Nxxx Gxxxxxxxx: what exactly is the thing people keep getting shot down for? I usually just close this chat so I rarely see it
[06:11] hxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: That's the thing. I could get used to it, if the moderation treated us as humans who were trying, then I could get used ot the rules being tightened. But I won't be shouted at when I'm trying the best I can to comply.

To be fair, she has a point. I think all of us are getting beyond tired of being treated as misbehaving five-year-olds when we make mistakes and post things that are against the rules that we never see posted anywhere. It would be nice to be treated as adults, and simply told, X is not allowed, and we'd all move on. Instead, there's a lot of condescension, and that sensation of rulers snapping over knuckles, and it's getting draining to deal with.

[06:11] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: 2 of my friends saw that, and went... That's is, not posting anymore when Her Majesty is here
[06:11] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: uh uh
[06:12] hxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: And to be fair, some mods still do, some are still great, when they're here.
[06:13] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: amd when a Mod says "Read The Rules", do they understand how that makes you feel ? You know the rules, you have read them for 7 years, just this time, you could not see that this skybox shop was a Mall... No way... but they still hit you with a "Read Thre Rules"

And again, keep in mind, when they say "Read the Rules", these are the rules:

[Group name] is an international shopping group for daily notices about frees, sales & nice gifts!

Our blog: [blog site address]

NOT ALLOWED in chat:
Store ads/spam/self-promotion
3 lines MAX posts
MP & most outside links
Drama/rudeness
Criticizing stores/gifts
Malls-Franchises
Disco/Club/DJ ads
Breedables
Rental/sale
Most Adult sims/items
Gambling
Pay MM/LBs/gifts
RP: OOC only
NO blog links
AO with adult anim
Vehicles

Question? contact [Exxxx], [Hxxxx Rxxxxxxx] or [Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx]

And two of those three names, according to the third (mentioned in the next entry), are not good contact points because they never log in anymore. So...why list them? How is that effective?

[06:13] lxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: then follow the rules

You say that like the rules are obvious. They aren't. They used to be, even up to a year ago, but now there are the stated rules in the group's description, and about five pages now of "unofficial" rules no one's being told about until they're in violation of one or more of them.

[06:13] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Yes. Forget some names, because they are not here as often as before, but [Zxx] is a great Mod, some others too
[06:14] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: although they all have hardened under the new namagement

I think so, too. And I'd love to know where the new level of stubborn thick-headedness is coming from. I have my theories, but nothing's confirmed as of yet.

[06:14] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: it is nice to see when you log in that Mods don't seem to do a good job when they point out the rules
[06:14] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: thank you fo rthat info

Way to take everything completely personally, Ms. R. Listen. Mm. C is saying NOTHING NEW. These points have come up in the past. There is unrest in the group and much of it can be laid at the feet of the moderators. Things need to change, and no mod in this group seems either willing to, or capable of, the change needed.

[06:15] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hi [rxxx]
[06:15] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Rxxx], telling someone to read the rules will not make that person see that a shop is a Mall

Especially when it's not a mall.

[06:16] lxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i think your doing a great job
[06:17] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: some things are general knowledge and if you are told it is a mall and you did not recognize it as such - it is a learning point
[06:17] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: It is, yes, but at the cost of a painful face
[06:17] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: It is also the way it is done...
[06:18] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: we all have those moments, I just had one when I read what yiu said
[06:18] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: The member reads "It is a mall, you idiot, can't you read"
[06:18] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: that is their opinion, not the tntention of a mod who wrote it

Are you sure?

[06:18] hxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I think the issue is in how it is communicated. "Sorry x, that store just moved to a mall sim and is no longer allowed in chat" is very different from "read the rules" iwth no further explanation. The latter is the kind of thing we're feeling frustrated with. The former is reasonable and treats us like persons.

Yes. This. Absolutely this.

[06:19] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: We are all human, and some of us have mental health problems. We come in here to relax and escape our problems, and a lot of us feel that it might be better if we were talked to in a way we would find friendlier, more supportive
[06:19] hxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: To be clear [Rxxx], I have never seen the latter kind of thing from you personally.
[06:19] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i do
[06:19] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Right [Hxxxxxxx]
[06:19] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: Mods are usually extremely busy with checking stores, watching chat and trying to post some nice free things.
[06:19] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: which does not justify rudeness
[06:20] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: And sometimes they react in a short way, like I am sure you do from time to time too
[06:20] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: that is not being rude but just a sign of too much to do and no time to explain properly

You know how you fix this? Put a link in the group description. Send all your mods that link. That link will be to a blog site, or a website page, and all it needs to say is here's a list of the basic rules, and why they're rules. You could send that out to anyone who asks why. Take all of five minutes to put it together, and all of two seconds to paste it into chat. Why not do that?

[06:20] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Rxxx], you've been here for long time and you know that the tone changed recently in this chat... it's not occasional, it's systematic
[06:20] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Mods do a stressful job... and they might want to consider that the stress they are subjected to shows off in the way they handle queries
[06:21] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yea
[06:21] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and there is no need for a Mod to shout at people, in CAPS, for a minor offence
[06:21] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: in Group, or im IM
[06:21] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx:
[06:22] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: snapping has become the rule
[06:22] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and people got tired of being snapped at
[06:22] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yep

They're so not kidding. It gets demeaning and demoralizing after a while, and makes me not want to keep the group window open when it pops open. And at that point, why am I in the group if I'm literally ignoring the reason it exists in the first place--posting MMs and stores with gifts to go get?

[06:22] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: personally I am bored to the point I close the window...
[06:22] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: they are doing there job
[06:22] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: bothered not bored
[06:23] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Lxxx] you are2 years old
[06:23] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Rxxx], you are doing a lot of work, you keep us informed, you are grea6t, and no offence meant personally, but please take a look at what we have said. This Group is hardening, losing it's fun and friendly atmosphere, and that is bad news for everyone
[06:23] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: so what
[06:23] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you have no idea of how things were here before
[06:23] Sxxx Ixxxx: Snapping is usually a sign of stress ...I do it RL when stress levels go up. Do Mods get holidays or stress relief day off ?
[06:23] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i watch my groups
[06:23] Rxxxxxxxx Rxxxx: mayb it is time I should leave

I would never suggest a particular mod leave a group where they're doing valuable work, but...maybe you should.

[06:23] Pxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol
[06:23] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: let's put this this other way
[06:23] axxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: HUGS, [Rxxx]
[06:23] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: 3 years ago mods were not stressed and didn't snap at people....
[06:24] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no
[06:24] Cxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Rxxx], you are takingthis personally, and you feel under attack
[06:24] Sxxx Ixxxx: We love [Rxxx]!
[06:24] lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hugs and cookies to everyone, I had enough of this drama and I'll better close this window before I say more

And we'll stop here, to go on to the next part.

girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for

I went to Cat's Creations and I won a Plain Penis Pet from her Lucky Cupcake.

I can't make these things up.



It looks...knitted.



Why...does this exist?



Also, it is very unfriendly to AOs. (I captured another image, but it's REALLY not safe for work, considering most places of employment.

So...this is a thing. This is a thing that exists. The grid ever baffles and confuses me.

and my throat closes off when I see your face

(Note: this took me some time to pull together, due to RL intrusions, so...the Comcast thing is rather dated.)

So more news on the whole Comcast/Netflix debate--unsurprisingly, everyone's denying everything. But the evidence is mounting; we'll see how Comcast reacts in another week or so.

In the meantime, a note on Second Life as an antidepressant. (Pro tip: it doesn't work that well):

[19:08] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: now after the anxiety hits I am starting to get Depressed
[19:08] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: I get the same kind of cycle
[19:09] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Me too.
[19:09] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: What normally helps with your depression?
[19:09] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx): the depression comes from me not able to get Lindens when I need them the most

Now, that sounds like a really superficial statement, but when we break that down, the same truth that's part and parcel of Second Life appears: human emotion. And human emotion can be a very tricky thing, especially when bundled over cable or fiber-optic lines with data and interaction.

Life, on SL, is amplified; it always has been, and it always will be. So what might be a little unease, a little melancholy in RL, becomes crippling self-doubt, anxiety attacks, and major depression. It's not a little thing anymore. And shopping for virtual goods is one way that many, many of us use to stay emotionally afloat--whether we realize that or not.

When--for whatever reason--we can't do that...or if we're emotionally unstable to begin with...things veer off the rails.

[19:10] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and thats where the anxiety comes from
[19:10] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: That can be stressful. What do you need them for?
[19:11] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: well
[19:11] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx): to be truthful I am trying to get some things i had in the past
[19:11] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: when I was able to upload
[19:11] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: L
[19:11] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but now I am so having to work for everyhting
[19:12] jxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and I dont know if I cant keep it up on djing

That's something else to consider, too. Maybe the jobs we hold don't do for us what they used to. Maybe, in this economy, our employers need to downsize. Or we're in some facet of the entertainment industry on SL, something that many people are no longer investing in, due to personal (even RL) cutbacks.

For whatever reason, the Lindens no longer flow like they used to. What do we do then?

[19:12] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: there is a lot of wonderful free things in SL
[19:12] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: the amazing part of this world

It's true. And, contrary to what many believe, it's a lot harder to tell these days if someone's outfitted completely in free gear, or paid hard Lindens for it. Between some really excellent items turned out in hunts, store group gifts and freebs, and Marketplace freebs in both traditional styles and mesh, people are slowly upgrading their games. (While there's still a 'sameness' to mesh I don't favor--in that everyone using similar silhouettes combined with specifically tailored body shapes means the grid, and those in it, are starting to look remarkably alike--overall, texturing, contouring, shading and ageing are looking much better in 2014 than they did in 2009.)

[19:13] ixxxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxxxx: alot to see in sl
[19:13] ixxxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxxxx: grand canyon?
[19:13] ixxxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxxxx: u guys see that yet?

I didn't even know there was a Grand Canyon on the grid! And yeah, you should go check it out, they did a really good job recreating it.

[19:13] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx nods. "Especially in hunts or events."
[19:13] fxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: oh yeah group gifts are the best
[19:13] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Even ways to earn Lindens.
[19:14] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: So many free things on Marketplace. Also, if you only need a few lindens, you can earn them playing the Linden Realms game.
[19:15] Emilly Orr: Linden Realms is only for Premium accounts, though, isn't it?
[19:15] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: I don't think so. I think it was made to get newbies comfortable with the user interface

I did not know this. Doing some initial research, I found an old report from Inara Pey mentioning that it's for Premium account holders only; still, there were indications that it was planned to spread to the masses, so who knows? I've never actually checked out the game myself, so I can't say.

[19:17] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I used to use this thing called the Travel Money HUD, you wore it and traveled to sims and looked around, and then after a certain amount of time, they paid you a small amount of L.
[19:17] Emilly Orr: There's a couple other groups like that. I belong to two of them.
[19:18] mxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: regular work in sl can suck the fun out of it... it shouldnt be and doesnt need to be, a relentless struggle for money in here
[19:18] Emilly Orr: That can get stressful on its own, though one of them, Rise Star Gaming, they have a lot of pretty sims in their chain. Sometimes it's just fun to wander and see new things.

There's also--or at least, there used to be--a similar enterprise to Travel Money called Earn2Life, and the Bletaverse group has a 'cone jumping' game where you do much the same thing--port to various sims, wait, collect a small amount of Lindens in exchange.

[19:23] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: I have a friend who joined SL a couple years ago & promised her husband she wouldn't spend any money on it. She made all her initial money in Linden Realm, then learned how to make textures, which sells on Marketplace. She now has enough money to be comfortable in SL, without spending any real world money.
[19:23] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: That's awesome!
[19:25] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: It's very rare to make much money in SL, so you have to live frugally too.
[19:25] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: People win contests with art pieces and such.

It's true. If you have a talent for texturing, clothing creation, 3D graphics, Second Life can still be a good space to create. And--even in the current economy--at least mildly profitable. (However, with the downturn in financing grid-wide, as many makers are finding, they can no longer count on SL to provide their sole income. People who do are pretty much walking tightropes without safety nets. It can get scary.)

[19:25] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: You should look at Builder's Brewery. They have a lot of building freebies and they even teach free classes.

While I eternally struggle with group space, if you have group space and an interest in content creation, you cannot go wrong being a member of Builder's Brewery. They have almost constant classes on various aspects of building and scripting, free texture packs, genuinely helpful people, and a members-only sandbox. It's really cool.

[19:25] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I had a friend who made neat builds and entered contests and art shows with them, made lots of L with it.
[19:26] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: Some people make their avatar look really hot, so they can win club contests
[19:26] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Oh yeah, that too.
[19:26] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: contest were huge for me when I first started and won many of them lol
[19:26] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: Whatever you do though, you have to work at it before it pays off
[19:26] Emilly Orr: I used to do that a lot, years back. Find a contest, find a costume, dance for an hour. Thing is, you have to be pretty social.
[19:27] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: yeah, it;s mostly people who like you who vote for you.

True fact: Whenever I have the time, I still attend the EGL dances that Bare Rose throws. While they are costume contests--and I've even occasionally won--the point is not to try to go to win. You'll only be disappointed. Just dress in what you want to match the theme, and go to have fun. Talk, be social, listen to what others are saying, and enjoy yourself. Because costume contests aren't always who you know; sometimes it's how much your personality impressed people at the event, whether they knew you before or not.

[19:28] gxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well, when ppl shaft me or tick me off, it's hard to be social. I wanna be the opposite and life, be it real or sl, is enough to make you antisocial.
[19:28] Emilly Orr: Pretty much. So, one of two things--either you like going to random clubs and hanging out (which sucks if you have social anxiety), or you go to pick up costume tips from other people.
[19:28] Emilly Orr: If you go expecting to win, you'll just be depressed after if/when you don't.
[19:29] gxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and I've been in several contests and didn't always win when I wanted SO BADLY to win.

Yeah. It's kind of the name of the game. It helps if you have a diverse wardrobe, but if you have social anxiety, costume contests are not your best bet for Lindens.

[19:28] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: Happy Hippo & Builders Brewery are good place to learn
[19:29] Emilly Orr: And if you have group space, Mari, join the Builder's Brewery group. They offer building classes on EVERYTHING.
[19:29] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: And she means everything.
[19:29] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: They had one on cupcakes not too long ago.

I've seen class notices for cupcakes, pies, all manner of furniture, clothing, basic and advanced scripting, particle theory, mesh texturing, beginning animation...if there's an instructor, there's a class. During holidays, they have giveaways, and as I said before, the main store has--in addition to some very lovely door and stained glass window textures--several packages of free items for beginning builders. And of course, there's the sandbox (though, for reasons as incomprehensible to me as seeing the Caledon states assailed, it's frequently griefed by trolls).

All in all, it's an active group full of helpful voices, for the beginning builder to the advanced. Never a bad thing to have help when you need it, after all.

[19:29] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Hey, speaking of group space, how many groups can you join? Lol.
[19:30] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I think it's 42, which is not nearly enough. D:
[19:31] Pxxxxxxxxx Exxxxxx: I'd rather have more Profile Picks than more groups
[19:34] Emilly Orr: The problem with groups, unfort, is that every time someone logs on, the system scans everything in sequence and assumes it's all active. So all your calling cards are scanned and set to active, then said to on or offline ONCE that's done; all your groups are set to active, then only the ones actually communicating are set to open; and all of that happens before the asset server pulls in your inventory.
[19:34] Emilly Orr: I'd love more groups, but we're kind of hurting the server as it is.

Unfortunately. It's likely going to be a consistent problem, too. Will we ever see another leap in groups, as we did from fifteen to forty-two? No idea. I'd love it, several others would love it; many who run businesses, especially more than one active business, truly, honestly, need more groups than they have; but will it ever happen? Severely doubtful, in my opinion.

[19:34] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: the wonderful thing about sl though is there are many free things to live great. I can make a brand new avi look like he spend so much money just from group gifts. Many designers in SL know that not everyone has money to spend in this game and they provide very detailed work for free from time to time.
[19:36] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: as far as places, there are free housing or 1l housing in SL as well
[19:36] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: meaning you rent a house for like a week for 1l

Pushing aside outright squatting--while it likely still can be done, it's still not a stable way to live--there are a lot of apartments and smaller places scattered around for free or low-cost. Most of these are reserved for players under two months old, but not all of them.

[19:36] Emilly Orr: Something to keep in mind: every now and again, run searches on Marketplace. "free 2014" f'rinstance, pulls in everything marked free from this year. Holidays are good--"free Halloween" or "freebie holiday". "Free dresses" or "free hoodie" can work, too.
[19:37] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There are also blogs that showcase freebies. Fabfree is a good one.
[19:37] Emilly Orr: FabFree has both men and women bloggers, too. So it's not just a parade of womenswear.

At this point, they don't have any male bloggers on staff, but watch the blog anyway--they still cover menswear from time to time.

[19:37] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: to be honest it amazes me that there are designers that give things out for free. They spend hours and hours on their creations and yet give it to us. LL is not making this. Is real people, who spend their time and energy for us and for that I am grateful

Me too. Now, I have complained about the quality of certain freebies before--especially when I think the designer could do (and has done) better--and I accept responsibility for any emotional harm I've caused (and the commensurate banning from at least one sim, which has been problematic on more than one hunt).

But I've never complained about the actual making of freebies (and highly discounted items) themselves. That a designer takes time out of their busy schedules to make things for free, for cheap; to make group gifts, many times the equivalent of items they could actually put on the market to sell; no, I'm honored and humbled by the gift of their time, by seeing their devotion to their customers, and to life on the grid.

[19:38] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There are sometimes really nice prizes in scavenger hunts too.
[19:38] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: lets do this lol If you guys know of groups or LM of amazing free things, send them in and Ill put them all in one notecard and send it out =]
[19:39] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: no reason anyone should be depressed becaus they don't know their resources
[19:40] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'll help with that, Josh. I know a bunch of places with freebies.

So I did a bit of research, and found links to track down to help.

[19:42] Emilly Orr: http://fabfree.wordpress.com/
[19:43] Emilly Orr: http://slfreestyle.blogspot.com/
[19:43] Emilly Orr: http://freebietelegraph.wordpress.com/
[19:43] Emilly Orr: http://slfreebiehunters.blogspot.com/
[19:43] Emilly Orr: All of these have recent (this month or this week) posts.
[19:43] Emilly Orr: And there's two congregate feeds I know of--where they're not actually blogs, themselves, but they're lists of links that are hosted ON a blog site.
[19:43] Emilly Orr: http://slfreebdollarbluckychairhunts.blogspot.com/
[19:43] Emilly Orr: and
[19:44] Emilly Orr: http://elizawrigglesworthlinks.blogspot.com/
[19:44] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: thank you dearly Emily. Im copying and pasting them into a notecard
[19:44] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Virtual vagabonds, too.
[19:44] Emilly Orr: Wouldn't be a bad idea.
[19:44] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: I think its great resources for people who don't have money. People should know they have resources and there are a lot of great possibilities without the needs of lindens.
[19:45] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: thanks Luna
[19:45] Emilly Orr: http://www.virtualvagabond.com/

There are more than just these, after all--there's at least twenty grid-wide hunts every month, plus store hunts, theme hunts, and freebie blogs galore, plus store blogs that occasionally do posts on freebies and cheapies their designers have put out. Which is leaving out the plethora of goods that can be gotten simply by wandering around stores, or joining store groups that draw your interest.

[19:45] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There's also something like 55l Fridays and 60L weekends, isn't there?
[19:45] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: That stores do? Sorry I'm throwing our random, had meds half an hour ago, so sleepies.
[19:45] Emilly Orr: The lady behind Virtual Vagabond is interesting--she used to be an SL Hobo, back when that group owned their own sim. She still believes in the ethos of the hobo, though--live where you can, own only what you need or what amuses, give away what you can to help others.
[19:46] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Aw, that's really cool.
[19:46] Emilly Orr: Let's see...there's 55L Fridays, 30L Saturdays, 60L weekends--those are all pretty general, kind of catch-all, any designer can apply deals.
[19:47] Emilly Orr: 25 Linden Tuesday started specifically for Gorean merchants, now it's branched out to Gor outfits, medieval outfits, with the occasional musical instrument or BDSM collar.
[19:47] cxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx chuckles. "I didn't know that."
[19:47] Emilly Orr: There's a few others. Most are searchable on Google or in-world to find locations.
[19:48] Kxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: http://seraphimsl.com/ shows discount events that are going on, and usually has pictures.
[19:50] Emilly Orr: True, I forgot about them!
[19:51] Jxxxxxx Bxxx: I love seraphim but not everything there is free

This is something that bugs me a great deal about the SL-Schnaeppchen blog, as well--the main blogger was amazingly good, and devoted to finding the best hunts and freebies on the grid, and then she ran afoul of a particular designer (I'd love to name her, but I'm trying to be better these days). It wasn't the blogger's fault, it was wholly the fault of the hunt designer, who misliked with intensity the fact that she gave out SLUrls to each store.

Now, this is commonplace, but back then, it was usually something only bloggers did. That controversy killed her interest in maintaining the blog, though, and now it's pretty much just dead air, broadcasting distant visions from 2012.

I used to follow SL Freebie Hunters more closely, as well, but at this point they're no longer purely hunt freebies. And while they pick good things to blog about, if I'm wanting to read on hunt items or general store freebies, I don't want to read that that luscious cream leather couch is on sale this month for "only" L$199. I'm sure that's a good deal, but...that's far from a freebie, or a hunt item, so why is it there?

(As I mentioned at the start, this is old, but I still wanted to get this out there, because I still believe there are some good resources that were discussed. If you don't have tons of Lindens, and your addiction is shopping; if acquiring virtual items helps stave off depression; well, here you go. Be safe out there, and have fun on SL.)