these changing years, they add to your confusion

I still battle with being heard. I may always. I grew up in a quiet place that became a vacuum if I spoke, and after a while, I got used to the breathless suppression. I internalized it, and made it the only way to be.

I've been trying to vocalize ever since, trying to find the air.

And even when I do, it doesn't always work.



Two nights ago. Not quite drowning, not quite waving, somewhere in between. I just...needed...someone's arms around me, telling me it was all right, even when I knew it wasn't. I needed something concrete, something...expected.

Didn't get it, quite. Not that I'm surprised. And I sat back and watched things fall farther and farther apart, and couldn't find the words.

And when I did--when I actually asked for help--no one listened.



So, I'm bad at this, I know that. I made plans to shore myself up, remantle, refocus, rebuild my walls, whether I'm using them or not. And then he says, maybe there's a signal we can work out, for when your mood is--off.

And--of course there is, and it's probably even something simple, a word, a phrase, even a certain look--it could be done. Possibly easily be done. But...

That means access.



That's not just letting someone in briefly, then showing them back out, that's giving them a door in and making the choice never to bar it. That means...being open, and visible. That means being seen, even if just by one person.

And it hits me all over again--every time I think I'm growing, I'm healing, I'm living openly...something like this comes up. And I realize how much is still closed down, barricaded, blocked off, bricked over.



Now, I know some parts of me will never come to light. I'm actually comfortable with that. Even those closest to me, who've known me longest, don't know everything. There are things in my past I may never fully understand, and...after a lot of personal work, I've decided, I don't need to keep pushing for revelation.

It's notable enough that between me and my two cousins, spending several years being raised in the same house, we've discovered we have the same gaps in memory for the same exact times. And frankly, we're all agreed--we don't want to know.



But do I want the help? Yes. Do I want to let someone know when the mood's dipping to that extent? Yes. Do I want to let someone see beyond the social mask, see me for me, see the face I can't always perfectly control? That, I'm shying away from. That...is terrifying.

But maybe it's also necessary.



And maybe it's also time. If I can't do this, even this simple a thing--even so much as a code word to give the one who asked that additional heads up that things are going off the rails...then...why am I even bothering being in relationships with anyone?

If I can't walk even those few steps forward...maybe it's time to hang it up again and go back to the cabin on the mountain.



And I don't want to do that. Those I care for, those who care for me, don't want me to do that. And I have made it this far; I am not such a coward I can't keep going. It's been a life motto for some time, after all: it's okay to fall down, just don't stay down. Get up. Keep going.

So...I'll find the way to get up. I'll find the path to walk again. And...I'll let...at least one person know when I'm about to fall down. So that even if they're not close enough to catch me, they'll know where I fell.

Though...I have the strong suspicion that if I do this for one man...there's at least one more who'll want the same thing.

Being seen. I want it. I hate it. It worries me. I'm going to do it anyway.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

I gotta hunt you, I gotta bring you to my hell (part II)

(Continued from the last part.)



Well, drawing the circle out and activating it did do one thing--it shrunk the rift significantly. So that's not all bad.

So let's see...been a while since I went back to the basics...I'm no longer, strictly speaking, a practitioner of the Gnostic forms, but they are familiar, and I can call them without too much in-depth thought.

"I face North, and the thing to be banished. Oraiael, Aphreudasos, Armedos, Arros, guard me and mine to the North. I send out the red light of truth."

It's coming back. good.

"I face West, and ask guardians to watch from this direction. Daveithe, Laraneus, Epiphanios, Eideos, I call upon you. Guard me and mine to the West. I send out the azure light of strength."

I was beginning to wish I'd picked another outfit other than pink-dotted ruffles and pink pumps, but...it's not really about the outfit, is it? The single best invocation I ever heard was by a guy in Texas who stood up in jeans and a t-shirt, turned to the four directions, said "Hey. It's me. Come on in..." And that circle LOCKED into place, strong as steel. It was amazing.

"I face South, and ask guardians to watch from this direction. Eleleth, Kodere, Epiphanios, Allogenios, guard me and mine to the South. I send out the green light of life."

Really, at the end of the day, it's about intent, not trappings. I like the formality for some ritual work, but it's really not necessary. What works for one practitioner doesn't always work for another, and that's no bad thing. Everyone has their own way to work.

"I face East, and ask guardians to watch from this direction. Harmozel, Orneos, Euthronious, Mazzareus, I call upon you. Guard me and mine to the East. I send out the yellow light of intention."

So...what was the last bit again?

"I kneel at the center, and ask guardians to watch inside and out. Aeon of Aeons, guard me, cover me in white light. Sophia, guard me, drape me in blue light. Gamaliel, guard me, drape me in orange light. Samlos, guard me, drape me in indigo light. Jibrīl, guard me, drape me in violet light. Abrasax, guard me, drape me in your shadows."

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale...Draw the signs, remember the protections.

"Iao, Barbelo, Pigeradamas, Christos, Sophia, amen. In nomine Matri, et Patri, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti...amen."

That should do it.



Tch. And Enoch slept through the whole thing. Some heir to the mage's throne you are. Sheesh.

But it should hold for now. It's patchwork, make-do, I can work up stronger, more permanent things later. And we do have that move coming up, to Gearhaven Prime, from Gearhaven, Armada, and Carcosa-adjacent, so...maybe we'll leave the rift here.

Could be worse.

honey, I wanna break you, I wanna throw you to the hounds (part I)

Went up to check on the little ones again...and the rift...only to find the barrier orb had disappeared, or...been sucked in, or...something. Great.



All right, I see Cleo and Enoch, but...where's Athena?



Athena is our problem child. I just know it. If she's not hiding behind something, she's wandering towards the fireplace, or batting at the windows, or now, crouched next to the door, waiting for it to open. Good gods.

And the rift still needs to be closed. I guess it's time to get serious.

I carefully drew out one of the standard working circles, set it to radiate, stepped into it to begin casting...and Cleopatra followed me right inside.



No, no, sweetness, Mommy needs to do this alone. Go back to your brother.

This is going to be a headache, isn't it?

More to come!

it's how they see you break and live with my mistakes

I'd gone into their condition earlier, so if you missed it, read that first.

I was tied up most of the 15th, so the next time I was able to check on the kittens, two whole days had gone by.



Little Athena was still sleeping, still under. I made sure her blanket was tucked in, and moved on.



Cleopatra was also still under, but seemed to be breathing better. I'll take even small improvements at this point.



Litle Enoch was flat on his back, softly wheezing, hunger sated for now. At least he was in no direct danger.



Another two days passed before I was able to check on them again. Athena's still holding--no better, but no worse.



Little Cleo was much the same--temperature still high, shivering a bit. I tucked in the blanket around her, too.



I woke Enoch long enough to feed him, because he was still regaining his strength. I sat behind him for a while, watching him sleep on the toy I'd found for him, belly full of milk.

Still...so far, so good. I'll check on them again soon. With any luck later today I'll be able to buy two more doses of vitamins, and then they will all be on the mend.

Until then I try to worry in silence...

it's more than I can take, baby

I am a bad mother!



In my (sole and only) defense, I've never really dealt with Breedables--or KittyCats cats--before, save from a sim-lag point of view. So, after the birthing, I picked them up, not realizing they'd continue to...well, exist...in inventory.

So when I rezzed them out, Enoch and Cleopatra were very ill, and Athena was barely awake. They were all starving.

Oh my gods.



So I ran off to the KittyCats store, to frantically track down their Get Well vitamins--having to buy Lindens to do so--which at this point, is just adding insult to injury. And by the time I got back, Athena had gotten sick, too. Oh my gods...

I quickly pulled it out of inventory and dropped the bottle in the center so they'd all get that little pick-me-up...at least, that's what I thought would happen.

It worked on one kitten. Just one. Enoch woke up.

You grasping bastards--



But...he is up and moving around. I set out food and milk, made sure everyone was tightly restricted to a five meter circle, so with any luck, they will only stay in that one room of Echo Manor.



And then I picked Enoch up and whispered apologies into his fur. He...tolerated this. But I had to...gods, what if I'd left them in longer? Would they all have died? My heart can't take this.



So this is what we have for now. He is starting to perk up more, and get interested in his surroundings, so...that's good, right? That is good? And Justine says that when her cat got sick, she slept for two days straight, and then was fine. So...I'm really, really hoping that's the case.



In the meantime, I will check in on them often, and get more vitamins when I can afford it, and we'll see how it goes from there.

Motherhood is hard.

you kinda scare me and I wanna let you

(Roleplay entry. We're back on the little desert moon of Haven!)

You ever have one of those conversations where you know it's going to go downhill from the second word?

[21:26] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): hi
[21:26] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): so i activated the singularity portal
[21:26] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): because

Oh, I'm not sure I want to know...

[21:26] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): well
[21:26] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): you'll see
[21:26] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh dear
[21:27] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): we shipped the wrong crate from Tannhauser
[21:27] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I can see that

Oh, this is the LAST thing we need, the UAP breathing down our necks because we brought new alien life to the little moon without a permit--

[21:27] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): so we need to get this out of here
[21:28] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): or shouuld we box it up
[21:28] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): and not say anything
[21:28] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): We do, yes. How?
[21:28] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): drop it off in one of the mines and run....
[21:28] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Hiro!
[21:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): We don't even know what this lifeform would DO if it escaped containment!

We really don't! We just barely got it in containment the first time, and lab staff is STILL trying to figure out if it was a result of the attempts to reach Carcosa, or pulling Tannhauser out of time to its current location.

[21:29] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): well i think it would be a lot like Innsmouth
[21:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Yeah....
[21:30] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): no one comes out here much right?
[21:30] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): : )
[21:30] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Apart from Crissi? And the Romulan??
[21:30] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And the MINERS??

You know, Duke, the miners. Like me!

[21:31] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): oh the romulan
[21:31] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): forgot abouut him
[21:31] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I thought we liked him.
[21:31] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): we do...
[21:32] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): more than chrissy
[21:32] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): wait
[21:32] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods
[21:32] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): i know

And the LAST thing we need is more trouble with Crissi...

[21:32] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) peers at one of the readouts
[21:32] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): ok
[21:33] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): it is buried under her ship
[21:33] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): What is?
[21:33] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): the thing
[21:33] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): points
[21:34] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): That's...that could still get you in trouble
[21:34] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): yeah
[21:34] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): i should get it back on the ship
[21:35] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Probably best
[21:36] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): let me shut down the containment
[21:36] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Is that wise?
[21:37] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): smiles

It always worries me when he smiles like that.

[21:37] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): ok...
[21:37] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): need to leave a note to Justine and Deebs to not open this crate...

Oh, because THAT'S going to work...

[21:37] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods.
[21:37] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Yes.
[21:37] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): smiles

You fill me with dread, sir. What will you do NEXT??

can we still be friends?

we can't play this game anymore
but can we still be friends?
things just can't go on like before
but can we still be friends?

That is the plan. Nights like last night, though, erode all my resolve to just aim for friendship. Last night's dreaming was...easy, and difficult, both, and...neither I say lightly. They weren't nightmares, which is a huge relief, but they were intense, overwhelming, compelling...erotic.



we had something to learn
now it's time for the wheel to turn
grains of sand, one by one
before you know, it's all gone

It started out with flashbacks, with reliving memories, with embedding into lived experience. This is not unusual--I tend to fall into memories, recollections, sense events, with sometimes appalling regularity. But this was...different. If I didn't know better, if I didn't understand the distinctions being made, if I did not, in fact, know that I was dreaming--I would have sworn I was not alone in the bed, that there was another beside me, playing all the chords to encourage me to sing.



let's admit we made a mistake
but can we still be friends?
heartbreak's never easy to take
but can we still be friends?

And more charnel bones tipped into the firebox, heat becoming intense, because, right now, I can't think about this with a calm and cool head. I can still hear his whispered urging, still feel the play of heated breath over my skin, and I have to keep telling myself this was just a dream.



it's a strange sad affair
sometimes seems that we just don't care
don't waste time feeling hurt
we've been through hell together

And if there wasn't something my subconscious thought I should realize, my brain wouldn't be tormenting me with drunken sensual remembrance; I know that. A lot of times it just breaks down to my brain being a consummate teenager, pouting because the parental units just don't understand, cannot understand, they've forgotten how it feels to be seventeen and in serious lust...And again, I know that. To put it in less flattering terms, this is my subconscious kicking the traces. I get it.

But.



it's a strange sad affair
sometimes seems that we just don't care
don't waste time feeling hurt
we've been through hell together

But, when my dreams turn like this, it is occasionally hard to remember that it's just defiant immaturity. Last night, especially...Let me be clear: while nightmares are a constant, I have never, not once, had a nightmare of someone I trusted not accepting no for an answer. This is key. (And the downside of that is, yes, if I stop trusting someone, they've occasionally turned up as torturers in the nightly plays, disobeying all previous rules.)



can we still be friends
can we still get together sometimes?

That is, thankfully one line, at least, my brain refuses to cross. But I know I was begging--abject, audibly, shuddering, pleading, the 'no', the 'stop', so very nearly on my lips, but...never...never...explicitly uttered.

Thought, though. Begging, though. Begging for--surcease? Release? Mercy? Whatever it was, it wasn't given, and I woke in much the same state--shuddering, gasping, still whispering please, unable to draw in a full breath for sweeping pleasure. And I had to struggle to get my breathing back under control.

Exactly as if I had not been alone...



hey babe, can we still go on?

I won't say I'd rather have nightmares. My brain is far too facile with evisceration scenarios, so thank you, no, they can stay down with the alligators. But that dream has stayed with me all day, every time I close my eyes, a series of entwined jolts, gasps, and want, the still-intense desire searing through me, the flames still high.

So...yes. There are things still to work on. Obviously.



we awoke from our dream,
things are not always what they seem
memories linger on
it's like a sweet, sad, old song

It may just take time. Remove the immediacy of recollection, erase the sharp edges, fuzz the sensory recall. Let the days pass into weeks, and into months, and into years, until I can think back on sensuality shared and just have the occasional twinge and smile.

At least...that's the hope. Dear gods, if it stays this intense...that will...not be good for me.

And of course, the question now circling the steam tower...

can we still be friends?

I still want that. I do. I still think it's possible. I think we have taken strides forward to reworking things from fevered need to friendly discourse, and I...think...we have a good chance to remain on that path.

But nights like last night...they do make the end goal less assured, and more desperate. And they practically ensure that the next time I spend time, in person, with him...that I will be very locked down, all the unease back, all that flinching fear back, and it had just started to ebb, damn it.

And every time I close my eyes... Maybe it's time to stay awake for a while.

(Photos taken on the Vaak Rift sim [Adult], Kralovstvi Temple Court [Moderate], Masija [Adult], Black Nest [Moderate] and Angelstar Manor on Isla Ballenas [Adult]. Lyrics from Robert Palmer's Can We Still Be Friends?)

are you on the square? are you on the level? are you ready to swear right here, right now?

This comes from a Discord server for an SL business, on March 14th. Some information given is now out of date, I've tried to correct that where I can. But also due to being from Discord, I've anonymized names, because Discord is technically a private service. Also, because it's from Discord, not SL group chat, the naming conventions will be very different.

[8:40 AM] Qxxx: THE VOICES FORETOLD THIS EONS AGO!
[8:41 AM] Qxxx: ain't no god preventing this [s**t], yo!
[8:42 AM] Qxxx: stay away from me you freak! you too, you sicko!
[8:43 AM] Qxxx: You made them do it! It's fact! Fact? Fact this, you weirdo!
[8:44 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: #justaflubro

I know it's meant as a joke here, but I swear, any time someone says this or a variation of this, I just cringe.

[8:44 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: using this [jxxxx]
[8:44 AM] Qxxx: Not much cause mental decline like a pandemic... or any kind of apocalyptic scenario.... many feel apocalyptic panic now, so.. lol

Pretty much, yeah. And as we've seen, it doesn't seem to take much to panic a double truckload of folks, does it?

[8:47 AM] Lxxx Pxxx: DON'T PANIC (with the "don't" crossed out)

Variations on this concept already exist.

[8:47 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: "i don't mean to brag but, This is like the tenth end of the world i've survived"
[8:47 AM] Mxxxxxxx: "NO coughing"
[8:48 AM] Lxxx Pxxx: I survived the pandemic, and all I got was this crappy t-shirt
[8:49 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: thats more for a shirt not a wall XD
[8:49 AM] Lzzz Pzzz: Haha, true
[8:49 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: #blamegenZ is a good one tho lol
[8:50 AM] Lzzz Pzzz: And, of course, "OK, Boomer"
[8:51 AM] Mzz: lol
[8:57 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: xD
[9:04 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: wow even TP online is sold out or cant be delivered

Amazon emptied of all stock the first day that seclusion was announced, even.

[9:04 AM] Mzz: yep
[9:04 AM] Mzz: restocking in April
[9:04 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx:
[9:05 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: its cookoo
[9:08 AM] Txxx: That is friggin nutts
[9:08 AM] Txxx: So glad my daughter hid two 9 packs months ago so I bought another mega pack lol
[9:09 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: i dont hvae a tp issue myself but some friends do lol
[9:09 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: i do have a bread issue
[9:09 AM] Txxx: I have family that does

Most of the shortages, though not all, at least in the states, have resolved. It was strange to hear what was short state by state, though. Most states were gutted of paper goods, hand sanitizer, fresh meat, milk, butter--and ramenm of all things. Stores in my locality lacked the above (barring baked goods) for four days, but ramen stores were fine. Ironically, while no state seemed to have a run on fresh vegetables, I saw a lot of images of fully stocked vegan products (with the commensurate sneering about no one wants to eat them even during a pandemic)--by in my local stores? Maybe it's a measure of how heavily tilted we may be towards vegetarians, but most of the vegan/vegetarian foods were gutted as well.

[9:10 AM] Txxx: awwwwww I got two loaves yesterday, they are cheap bread but they are bread lol. That was honestly my last worry, my grandmother gave me a bread machine so I can make my own lol. I bought yeast like last month to start giving it a try on making it
[9:10 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: well that was my other option, getting breadmix
[9:10 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: but its sold out everywhere
[9:11 AM] Qxxx: i have a ton of TP... i always buy a 24 pack when i have 5 or so left... i had like 20 left and decided to buy a pack so now i have like 40+
[9:11 AM] Txxx: Seriously, people are off their rockers. I am down to one pack of meat. So I have to go when I get paid tomorrow and try to grab some things. But I finally found ramen noodles so the kids can live off of those.
[9:12 AM] Txxx: My fingers are crossed that these crazy folks back off and the stores get restocked quickly lol
[9:13 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: i mean i get over here, when they impliment the same rules as italy that u cant go outside for like 2-3 weeks ( which they plan on doing tomorrow ) , that u want enough stuff for 2 weeks but ppl are buying stuff to last them 6 momths lol
[9:13 AM] Qxxx: i have 2 smallish freezers full of stuff... my parents have 3 huge freezers full so we dont need to worry for ages.... just restocked some dry stuff yesterday

We spend a few hours resenting our building's edict against chest freezers. Considering our freezer space in the refrigerator is about the size of two 1940's-style bread boxes side by side, we would have had no issues at all if we'd been able to have small chest freezer to store plan-ahead meal kits, meats, cheese, and whatever else. But no, they are disallowed, along with waterbeds, all sources of flame, and even medically prescribed cannabis. (I am not prescribed cannabis, I'm allergic, but it has come up in conversations with other residents.)

[9:15 AM] Txxx: My oldest son called me last night and said something about the state shutting down. I'm like they gave schools until the end of day on Wednesday to shut down so hopefully stores will wait until then. I am still fighting with my boss about the work schedule. I told her we shouldn't extend our hours. We should just keep normal hours and only do to-go orders
[9:15 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: where are you abouts ?
[9:15 AM] Txxx: Our business was cut in half this past weekend
[9:15 AM] Txxx: Alabama
[9:15 AM] Txxx: we went from zero to 1 case to now 22 and 2 confirmed near me. One in Alabama and one in Georgia

Unfortunately, I'm quite close to an epicenter of outbreak. Our first case was a whining elderly dowager who just could not believe she couldn't be released to go home from the Diamond Princess. I guess the quarantine officials tired of her noise and sent her on. So she was our first official case, diagnosed before she left (before anyone realized how bad this was going to get). Within a week we had at least one case in every county of the state; no one's entirely sure how it's tracing out, but the general impression is people coming down from a state harder hit, above us. And recently we went up from 24 cases total, in-state, to 114 cases total, in-state, and I expect it to spiral up from there.

[9:16 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: ahhhh ok , I havent been following the US situation that much , i just hear bits n bobs from ppl
[9:16 AM] Txxx: its just as crazy over here
[9:16 AM] Txxx: I assure you
[9:16 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: its all over the world now and not stopping
[9:16 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: my wedding.......
[9:16 AM] Txxx: I was out all week last week with the flu, well the kiddo had the flu and then I caught his cooties because well people are hoarders
[9:17 AM] Qxxx: a woman from my town has died... 6 total in the country.... 1000+ sick

We just hit five hundred deaths in the US.

[9:17 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: its so frustrating....come with a CURE finally!!

Still a year out for a vaccine, if that soon. A cure is going to take far longer, if it's ever found.

[9:17 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: well if u look at the stats it really is like a flu but its just i think more contagious and a tad more deadly

It's....not, though. I know a lot of leaders tried to downplay this around the world, by saying 'Hey, the flu is worse, don't worry!"...but that was pretty high up in the stupidsphere as an idea to comfort worried people. Because now a lot of them believe it. And because they've had the flu before, and it's been no big deal, then hey, everyone's just blowing this out of proportion, right?

Wrong. Does this sound like flu? In point of fact, the way the virus attacks cells is closer to how HIV is transmitted--it's not HIV, far from it, but both this strain of coronavirus and HIV target T-cells, one of the few cells in the body that have no natural defenses against intrusion, largely because there's so many other lines of defense to pass through before reaching them. But if there's a new virus who's able to slip by the usual defenders, and target T cells directly? Very very bad things happen. Which is what we're seeing.

And don't think drinking bleach or rubbing alcohol will eliminate the virus either. In fact, have an excellent list of myths about the virus, and ways to protect from the same. Please stay safe. Please keep up hand-washing protocols.

[9:17 AM] Txxx: awwwwwwwwwwwww [Exxxx] may you can have a nice summer wedding
[9:17 AM] Qxxx: yeah
[9:18 AM] Txxx: yeah the stats are pretty comparable.
[9:18 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: no not if this getting worse
[9:18 AM] Qxxx: far deadlier for the old ones

Yes, as the second video linked above points out, this strain of coronavirus is actually savagely inventive--by essentially 'hacking into' lung-tissue cells, and taking over the mini-factories producing cell components, rewiring them to pump out more virus particles--our own antibodies go on alert and attack the danger in the body--which is part of our body. It doesn't kill the virus in us, but it does a slam bang job of killing our lung cells. Which can, and has, left people with permanent breathing impairments. Joy.

[9:18 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: [Exxxx] was planning on getting married in the US, the travel agency doesnt kow what will happen to the flights etc , the whole family booked including me xD
[9:18 AM] Txxx: Only this one kills more older folks and the flu has killed more kids

Yeah, again...no. This strain of coronavirus has a good chance to kill everyone. We have deaths of elderly people, yes. We've also had 12-year-olds struggling to breathe on ventilators in hospitals. And the population of 24-to-40-year-olds who think they're immune aren't either; we're seeing them hit hospitals in full respiratory distress.

NO one is safe from this. Please keep that in mind.

[9:18 AM] Txxx: oh goodness
[9:18 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: its a [s**t] show
[9:18 AM] Txxx: I can imagine it is
[9:18 AM] Qxxx: we shall wed you online at [the store] if we have to!!!
[9:18 AM] Txxx: Thats why I am arguing with my boss
[9:18 AM] Txxx: I make the schedule
[9:19 AM] Txxx: So I have been dragging my feet on the schedule lol
[9:19 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: no Q!! thats not the same
[9:19 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: cant wear my dress lol
[9:19 AM] Txxx: Yeah totally not the same she needs that dress dang it
[9:19 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: shes already partnered to her partner inworld
[9:19 AM] Qxxx: you can wear it... just make it in mesh too
[9:20 AM] Txxx: An SL wedding can not replace an RL wedding sadly
[9:20 AM] Txxx: My son said Canada seems to have the best handle on it so far
[9:21 AM] Txxx: So hopefully someone will come up with a cure or vaccine.
[9:21 AM] Cxxxxxxxx Bx Ixxxxx Fxxxxxx: Or people's common sense will kick in

In point of fact, we need both--common sense, that ounce of prevention everyone's supposed to have, and a working vaccine. Chances are good, though, we'll have neither.

[9:21 AM] Txxx: Pfft I am surrounded by army wives
[9:21 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: i dont get why ppl are buying so much to last them months
[9:22 AM] Txxx: These people have no common sense
[9:22 AM] Txxx: they are bitching about Disney shutting down

Sure, why not? Because nothing should shut down if it's just the flu, right? There are reasons these precautions have been taken. Disney has recognized this. Most bars and restaurants have recognized this. The CDC knows this full well. GameStop seems a little lost, but hey, let's hope some public shunning works in their case too.

[9:22 AM] Txxx: Yet they are hoarding like a mofo
[9:22 AM] Txxx: Because they think its the end of the world
[9:23 AM] Cxxxxxxxx Bx Ixxxxx Fxxxxxx: Shop for 2 weeks is not shopping for 2 centuries
[9:23 AM] Txxx: Right, I mean I typically shop for a month at a time because of the way I get paid
[9:23 AM] Txxx: and work

Sure, that makes sense. We were caught somewhat unprepared, as we've grown accustomed to shopping for small amounts every two or three days, but we're slowly adjusting.

[9:24 AM] Txxx: I just got a deep freezer so I am gonna make sure the kids have tons to eat while I am working.
[9:24 AM] Mxxxxxxx: You should make the sturdy shelter that people will survive the virus outbreak, and then a dummy shelter made entirely of tp where people inside surely did not make it.
[9:24 AM] Txxx: Not a year supply but enough for the three weeks they are stuck here
[9:25 AM] Txxx: at home
[9:25 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: i just got my food delivery , dude staying a kilometer away from me "can u grab ur [s**t] out the fridgebox yourself" lol theyre not allowed to get close to ppl
[9:25 AM] Mxx: lol
[9:25 AM] Mxx: i mean it's smart.
[9:25 AM] Mxx: but
[9:25 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: #blamechina

Don't blame China. This could have happened anywhere live animals are being kept close to dead ones.

[9:26 AM] Txxx: Yeah here everyone is wearing gloves and stuff
[9:26 AM] Mxx: it's just so silly looking/sounding
[9:26 AM] Mxx: yeah but see
[9:26 AM] Mxx: if you still touch your face
[9:26 AM] Mxx: gloves don't do [s**t].

Now, in M's defense, they're not wrong, per se. Gloves can help, but only if we treat them as the thin protective layer they are. Touch an uncleansed surface, then touch our faces, the glove is now a carrier of whatever was on the surface to us. Treat them as a thin protective layer, and change when we touch our face or hair, or when we touch uncleansed surfaces, and then change gloves, and they'll continue to lower the chances of transmission.

[9:26 AM] Txxx: Righttttttttttttt
[9:26 AM] Txxx: But I work with food
[9:26 AM] Mxx: it's droplet based
[9:26 AM] Txxx: Soooooooooo
[9:26 AM] Mxx: so mucus membranes... lol

Exactly.

[9:26 AM] Txxx: I am constantly yelling at people to change their gloves
[9:26 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: i am staying inside for the first 3 weeks!!!!
[9:26 AM] Txxx: Because for some reason I am the only food safety certified person besides the owner
[9:27 AM] Txxx: The others are afraid to take the class
[9:27 AM] Txxx: So I just get to call them idiots
[9:27 AM] Txxx: and tell them how to properly handle stuff.
[9:28 AM] Txxx: So I am used to the whole wash your hands, don't touch your face, cover your cough, wash your hands after covering your cough
[9:28 AM] Txxx: and for the love of god wash your hair lol
[9:28 AM] Txxx: Hair holds the most germs
[9:28 AM] Txxx:
[9:30 AM] Txxx: I want to [Exxxx], I really want to just stay home with my kids. I was hoping since we are a little restaurant in the middle of no where that we would close. But she seems to think because people are hitting up steak houses and clubs that her little cafe is gonna see business.

Depending on where this cafe owner is, this is either a terrible idea, or a psychotically terrible idea, and either way, she'll likely recieve official state/government/province orders to shut down.

[9:33 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: here in belgium all the restaurants have to be closed, police are checking constantly
[9:34 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: but in europe i think its worse then in the US
[9:35 AM] Txxx: If cases move any closer to us they may. I know a lot of states are limiting hours of operation and making them cut their typical capacity in half . Fast Food places have closed their dining areas and only have the drive thru opened
[9:36 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: i feel like i am in a movie...
[9:36 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx:
[9:36 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: worldwar z and stuff....i hope the end credits come soon

I don't! I don't want the end credits to my movie for a long time, thanks anyway!

[9:37 AM] Cxxxxxxxx Bx Ixxxxx Fxxxxxx: Banks here have stopped doing lobby service, just drive through
[9:37 AM] Cxxxxxxxx Bx Ixxxxx Fxxxxxx: And closed branches at the collages
[9:38 AM] Txxx: Yeah colleges have closed and banks here are closing the lobbies which I don't blame them
[9:38 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx:
[9:38 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: -dead
[9:39 AM] Txxx: It is hard to believe all this started because folks eat some weird [s**t].

That's not why all this started.

[9:40 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: that is so going on the wall
[9:42 AM] Txxx: lol
[9:44 AM] Txxx: I can't wait to see this dang wall
[9:44 AM] Txxx: I have a feeling it will be sooooooooooooo awesome
[9:49 AM] Qxxx: bats are delicious.... not.... ewww ... why do peole eat weird [s**t]
[9:49 AM] Qxxx:
[9:51 AM] Txxx: Idk I'm sure some of the stuff we eat is weird to others
[9:52 AM] Txxx: Like asparagus
[9:52 AM] Txxx: Okay that's not exactly bat weird
[9:58 AM] Qxxx: i love that
[10:10 AM] Txxx: All the crap Americans deep fry is weird to me and I live here lol

Be fair, the American midwest invented deep-fried butter. As a nation we cannot be trusted with hot oil.

[10:12 AM] Moon: I knew I should have hoarded those twinkies
[10:12 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: zombieland
[10:12 AM] Mxxx: Lol
[10:13 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx:
[10:13 AM] Mxxx: Hahaha
[10:13 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: going on the wall
[10:13 AM] Mxxx: Woot!
[10:13 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: im gonne run out of wall space lol
[10:14 AM] Mxxx: Ikr lol
[10:15 AM] Txxx: You will need a bigger wall lol
[10:16 AM] Txxx: I wonder if the stores still have chips
[10:16 AM] Txxx: I need chips to go with my pb&j

At least where I am, snack foods didn't undergo the shelf-stripping that other foods did. Not sure why, and really, have no idea if it was different in other places.

[10:16 AM] Txxx: Also just had a work conference call and we may shut down for two weeks or close our lobby
[10:19 AM] Qxxx: you know those extreme couponing hoarders? I bet some of them will be robbed during this hysteria
[10:20 AM] Qxxx:
[10:20 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: i made a spot for wall art but yeah...maybe too small for all of this
[10:21 AM] Qxxx:
[10:23 AM] Exxxx Sxxxxx: i thought i made it big enough well [jxxxx] can do wonders with textures so...im not worried
[10:27 AM] Qxxx:
[10:30 AM] Qxxx:
[11:04 AM] Mxx:
[11:09 AM] Txxx: yall the pollen count is insane here right now. I cleared my throat as I got out of my car at the store and this woman looked me all crazy and ran to the door before me but then blocked me from going in until her husband came out.
[11:10 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: i think i have corona, i'm coughing my lungs out
[11:11 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: im not kidding ...
[11:11 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: been coughing all day none stop

That's not a good sign, especially now. But I am hoping the best for him.

[11:11 AM] Txxx: Nooooooooooo, hopefully its just a cold. Though if you have healthy lungs you should be able to kick its butt as long as you stay hydrated and monitor your tempurture
[11:12 AM] Txxx: They gave me pills to relax my junk so I don't get the urge to cough because of the flu and my allergies
[11:13 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: if i die , [store] dies with it
[11:13 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: idk i got some cough syrup today from the pharmacy
[11:13 AM] Txxx: You can't die, you won't die. You will live forever, or at least another 50 years
[11:14 AM] Txxx: Its such an awkward time for this corona crap. Because Flu season is still active and now allergy season in some places.

Yeah, that's going to cause minor panics, I'm sure. The arrival of heavy pollen + the actual flu season winding down + COVID-19? It is a fervid, toxic stew of badly-timed confluences.

[11:15 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: i know im sure i just have a mild bronchite or something
[11:15 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: no fever etc
[11:15 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: just coughin'

Once it's fully set in, to the point that breathing becomes difficult, yes, there is always fever, as far as I understand.

[11:18 AM] Cxxxxxxxx Bx Ixxxxx Fxxxxxx: If it is a tickle any hard candy helps sooth that. Will burn a candle for you [Jxxxx]
[11:22 AM] Txxx: Regardless coughs suck big time
[11:23 AM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: suckin on ricola candies
[11:24 AM] Mxx: Flu is hitting our region HARD and pollen has started dropping so it's REALLY awkward for a lot of folks here.

I bet. Lots of dagger glances and shocked inhales.

[11:24 AM] Mxx: it doesn't help that you have idiots that go out in public with zero consideration for others and just cough and spit everywhere uncovered.

Because no matter what we do, the foolish people remain foolish.

[11:26 AM] Mxx: we had 1 confirmed case in our county last week, who was told to "self isolate" and now we have 3, and who knows how many more who either aren't going to the doctor or aren't getting tested.
[11:27 AM] Mxx: someone had said that a healthcare professional they spoke with is suspicious that the COVID-19 was the mystery virus that ran through our area last fall that kept testing negative for all flu tests but had the same symptoms.
[11:27 AM] Mxx: So it's likely been in the states long before now... it's just spreading

That is really interesting. If so, then it's never been the "China virus", it's just been a coronavirus mutation. And could have started anywhere.

[11:33 AM] Txxx: Mai it sounds like you are near me lmao
[11:33 AM] Txxx: as far as the pollen
[11:34 AM] Txxx: Heck we had nooooo cases in my state last week
[11:34 AM] Txxx: friday we had one and as of last night we had 22

From the vectors I've been watching, that seems to be how it goes. This is something that spreads exponentially. It's not one infected to two, to three, and so on, it's one infected, to two, to eight, to sixteen, and so on.

[11:35 AM] Txxx: Yeah I am wondering if this has been going around far longer. There was an older lady who passed away a few weeks ago from an Asthma attack. But she had had a cough since late December and they couldn't find anything wrong with her
[11:35 AM] Mxx: I just find it funny it's correlating right along with another flu run.
[11:36 AM] Mxx: I think it's definitely connected since they are basically the same family of virus.
[11:36 AM] Txxx: I had something in the fall that kept me coughing with a slightly sore throat
[11:36 AM] Mxx: yep, I also had it
[11:36 AM] Txxx: and they swapped me for strep
[11:36 AM] Mxx: and got labeled as "mystery respiratory infection"

To be fair, there are other strains of flu, and viruses in general, that hit the lungs. Like knees, lungs are not a sturdy design feature.

[11:36 AM] Txxx: and it was negative
[11:37 AM] Txxx: and then I got labeled as a mystery strain of infection
[11:37 AM] Txxx: Nothing helped me get better just rest
[11:37 AM] Txxx: and finally my symptoms went away
[11:37 AM] Txxx: Meds seemed to make it worse as far as them trying to treat it with anti virals and antibiotics
[11:38 AM] Txxx: they were at a loss, it was so bad I went to see about having my tonsils taken out to see if it would reduce my issues
[11:39 AM] Mxx: yeah rest and clear fluids was the only thing that helped... that and some MAJOR sudafed stuff that I had hoarded away... heh
[11:42 AM] Txxx: lol
[11:42 AM] Txxx: im trying to figure out why West Virginia hasn't had a case

There's twenty cases as of this moment, so whatever protections West Virginia had, they don't now.

[11:54 AM] Mxx:
[11:55 AM] Mxx: I could say something but I wouldn't want to offend anyone from the W.Va area
[11:55 AM] Mxx: lol
[11:55 AM] Mal: or were you making the joke, just not as obvious as I was, [@Txxx]
[11:56 AM] Txxx: Oh I probably know where your head is at on that one, I have been giving my friends there a hard time about all the Blue People in the hills
[11:57 AM] Mxx: hahaha
[11:57 AM] Txxx: Mean I knowwwwwwwwwwwww and its not to offend anyone but they admit that there are creepy things going on there. They have all made the joke themselves too.
[11:57 AM] Mxx: i mean sudafed DOES contain a key element for making meth
[11:57 AM] Txxx: haha there is that too
[11:58 AM] Txxx: But Alabama wasn't safe and we have tons of those too
[11:58 AM] Txxx: Just more spread out
[11:58 AM] Mxx: pff Louisiana isn't much better.

Loisiana is very hard hit now. It's becoming another epicenter of mass infection, like New York and Washington.

[11:58 AM] Txxx: oh i know
[11:58 AM] Txxx: I was there a few winters ago
[11:58 AM] Mxx: although we have an influx of more cannabis heads now than previously
[11:58 AM] Txxx: when it snowed in December and then again in January
[11:58 AM] Mxx: so meth has seen a downturn I think
[11:58 AM] Mxx: oh yeah
[11:58 AM] Mxx: that was fun
[11:58 AM] Mxx: lol
[11:59 AM] Txxx: I was stuck there because I was testifying in a trial
[11:59 AM] Txxx: lol
[11:59 AM] Txxx: So I couldn't even come back home for my appointments I had to stay my butt there. They did let me go down to NOLA for the weekend though
[11:59 AM] Txxx: and damn it smelled awful
[12:01 PM] Mxx: hahahaha
[12:01 PM] Mxx: you get used to it (if you drink enough)
[12:01 PM] Txxx: haha
[12:01 PM] Mxx: I don't live in NOLA tho
[12:01 PM] Mxx: you couldn't pay me to
[12:01 PM] Mxx: the traffic and tourists would kill me.
[12:01 PM] Txxx: Yeah that is one place I couldn't live
[12:01 PM] Qxxx: 1119 Swedes now infected

That's fairly grim, too.

[12:02 PM] Txxx: I love it down there it is pretty to look at
[12:02 PM] Mxx: Q I'm ignorant on Sweden's population...
[12:02 PM] Txxx: I was staying Baton Rouge
[12:02 PM] Txxx: and my ass got lost trying to find a restaurant right off of LSU's campus
[12:02 PM] Txxx: and had all my Auburn stickers on my car and ended up on campus
[12:03 PM] Txxx: I was yelling at my son who was 16 at the time that we needed to abort mission
[12:03 PM] Txxx: lol
[12:03 PM] Qxxx: 7 dead now
[12:04 PM] Qxxx: we're just above 10 million
[12:04 PM] Mxx: just looked it up lol
[12:29 PM] Qxxx: this virus is a big virus... there's 2 types of virus, one kind have no shield around the center and the other has a shield around the center.... corona has a shield... this is a good thing. It makes it easier to kill with soap, so wash your hands a lot.... also, it is heavy.... if you stay 6+ feet from people, you are less likely to get infected... touching contaminated areas is not good, so wash wash wash.... but it is not an airborne virus really, it falls to the ground pretty fast since it is so big
[5:01 PM] Mxxxxxxx: I think you guys broke Discord earlier.
[5:02 PM] Cxxxxxxxx Bx Ixxxxx Fxxxxxx: Oh?
[5:34 PM] Txxx: i have that effect on discord
[5:34 PM] Txxx: lol
[8:59 PM] Qxxx: I am so bored .... SL doesn't want to work on this laptop today for some reason, all the corona aaaall over TV nonstop, and 5am so can't really do anything at all... gah
[9:00 PM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: Play some steam games
[9:00 PM] Jxxxx hxxxxxxx: I’m off back to bed
[9:00 PM] Qxxx: i would.... my connection keeps dropping though
[9:00 PM] Qxxx: sweet dreams
[11:13 PM] Qxxx:

And there we end. Stay safe, everyone.