in the end, in the end, there's nothing more to life than love, is there?

(Roleplay entry. What else would it be?)



The kittens are coming. It's getting harder to move. With every step, I am aware of the lives within. And...I worry.



I'm having to layer illusion spells, and I worry about the effects. And I wander the winter land and everywhere feels too exposed now, too...bright. Too...open.

The castle calls.



It's...an oddity, I admit. In all the centuries I've spent, moving forward, backward and sideways through time, I've never been pregnant. Outside of one truly unfortunate encounter with someone who wanted more from my succubus side than I wanted to give--and that ended quite badly for everyone concerned--I didn't even think I was fertile, let alone capable. But...sometimes the right person asks.

And sometimes that request is enough to do several months of research, and command the time portal at Sphinx-Templar headquarters, and put an entire lab into service distilling various poisons admixed with strands of DNA...all to just have a chance. Just to have the possibility available.



I don't think I was aware just how fast this would go, though. I thought my genetics would play more into it, but then...my genetics...are sort of all over the place. Sídhe-sided child of a karasutengu and a kitsune, summoned into being for the Unseelie Court as a phouka, transformed via curse into a succubus, an endless shapeshifter who changed forms like I changed my mind...whose genetics would come into play, here?



But...the potion worked. And...I caught. Maybe it was something to do with the overlaid poison extracts, to batter my system into receptivity; maybe it was something to do with the current and ancient strands of Shatner DNA that I included...but now I'm here. So close to giving birth, and I just want to...find a deep, dark cave somewhere, and burrow in, and pull branches over the entrance. Is that normal?



Justine says she'll stand with me. Or be with me, at least, during the birthing. Which might be good, as...I have no clue what to do if things go wrong...or even if things go right. This is all unexplored territory. I don't even truly know how many kittens I'm carrying--I know it's at least two, because I've felt two separate, rapid heartbeats against my palms.



The only thing I'm sure of...is that it will be soon. But when? No idea. I guess...I'll know when it's time. And until then...I wait.

And wait for word from the Duke.