the lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live?

Oh, boy, here we go again. This happened last Friday:

[12:57] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: Hello Everyone!
[12:57] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: Has anyone been to Junbug yet?
[12:58] Kxxxxx Mxxxxxxx: yeah it was not out
[12:58] Lxxx Pxxx: nothing out yet
[12:58] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: RL can get in the way, just be patient :)

This is the statement that caused all the drama. Yes, really. That simple and inoffensive. Keep it in mind.

[12:58] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: ok Thanks, that's what I wanted to know.... appreciate you all

And that should have been the end of it, but no, Ms. B reconsidered, and then lost her damn mind.

[12:59] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: [Cxx], I was not being impatient, I just came here and saw nothing, so I thought I would ask the group, in case I missed a notice or something
[12:59] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: don't be so quick to be negative to people

SHE WASN'T BEING NEGATIVE, YOU'RE BEING OVERSENSITIVE. Dolt.

[13:00] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: i didn't say you were, [Bxxxxxxx]. it's all good. :)

So now we have an apology from the person who made the absolutely okay response to Ms. Oversensitive. Again, this could have been it and done. Apology; acceptance; we all move on. Right?

[13:00] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: well you sure made it seem like I was complaining, and I don't feel that was warranted

No. She didn't. Not even once. You're taking things completely out of all context.

[13:01] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: i'm not responsible for your misunderstanding and emotional reactions. it was a simple comment, you're making //way// too much out of it.

Yes, this. Exactly.

[13:01] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Bxxxxxxx], she...with a ":)" said RL can get in the way, be patient. how in the world is that saying you were complaining?
[13:01] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: thank you [kxxxx].
[13:01] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you're welcome :)
[13:03] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx: Not sure how asking a question is being impatient. Repeating a question might seem impatient, but asking once? Not really.
[13:04] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: I said she made it seem like I was with the "patient" comment. But, if the two of you can't see how you're "comments" were obligatory, at best, well, forgive me for asking a simple question. ALL you had to say, was that her item was not out yet.... the rest of your"comment was not necessary unless I was complaining, which I was not... good day to you both!

It's "your", and for the second, correct, use of "your", there's a space between "your" and "comment" generally. Also a lack of ", because that's just in there for no clear reason. And they did say the item was not out yet.

[13:04] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: no one said anyone was impatient.

Right, because "please be patient" is not an insult. It's never been an insult. In fact, it's a very polite way to answer.

[13:04] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no one accused her of being impatient. it was a polite comment. not yelling or being rude in any way.

What Ms. k said.

[13:04] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: some of these dances make me look like a dancing monkey
[13:04] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: it's making me giggle
[13:04] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: lol [Xxxxx]

This was Ms. X's attempt to change the topic. It didn't entirely work, but it was amusing for those of us not completely mental on a simple three-word line of text.

[13:05] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *finds popcorn*
[13:05] gxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol sometimes it is fun to look like a dancing monkey
[13:05] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx: lol - you guys - saying "be patient" implies "you're not being patient." It's just an out of the blue thing to say to someone who's asking a simple question.

No. It's not. It's an expected social response, like saying "I'm fine" to "How are you?" or "Good" to "How are things?" Or, for many women, laughing gently when they're nervous or uneasy, or otherwise afraid to answer when a man's being aggressive.

[13:05] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: -scratches armpit- what.... what am I doing?
[13:06] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh the things I see on sl
[13:06] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: THANK YOU [AXXXXXXXX]

Don't thank her, you're in the wrong.

[13:06] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx hands [Bxxx] a cupcake and goes off elsewhere ;)
[13:06] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: what someone infers is not necessarily what someone else implied. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

THAT. EVERY SINGLE WORD OF THAT. Which is also when I joined the conversation, after reading back.

[13:06] Emilly Orr: Yes, what [Cxx] said.
[13:07] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Oh good grief... does anyone have the latest 50 Linden Friday N/c ?
[13:07] axxxxx Rxxxxxxx: in the notices :)
[13:07] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx: [Pxxxx], it's in the notices as always :-)
[13:07] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: ok then Miss "Holier than thou" [Cxx], what was your need to tell me to be patient?

Really? This is the hill you're willing to die on? You don't have anything better to do?

[13:07] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I know I was changing the subject :)
[13:07] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I deleted mine already, or I'd send it.
[13:07] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx: hahaha
[13:08] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: sent you one in IMs [Pxxxx]
[13:08] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: So that local sports team [Pxxxx]

This was, what...the third attempt to divert Ms. B? Fourth? I'd lost count.

[13:08] Axxxxxx Txxxxxxxx: I would say the adult thing to do would be drop it

YES IT WOULD BE, but apparently we're not all adults here.

[13:08] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: omg [Bxx]. give it up please. why start drama over something so trivial?

Who in all the hells knows.

[13:08] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wow they are doing awesome this year lol

And this was the fifth? People were really trying here.

[13:08] cxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: So who is better? Sharks or Jets? Discuss.

Well, the Sharks have better songs. The Jets dance better (at least for fights; the Sharks have them on actual dancing). The Jets have the more tragic story, and since West Side Story is supposedly based on Romeo and Juliet...

[13:08] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hanks [Cxx]
[13:08] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: yeah, i'm so over this little drama

It's "thanks", Ms. P. And aren't we all.

[13:08] Sxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: X's out of this convo dont need this today just wow

Yeah, the drama sprang up very suddenly.

[13:08] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: yw [Pxxxx]
[13:08] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: no one aske you what you'd say [Axxxxxx]

You just need to shut the hell up and accept the two absolutely unnecessary apologies and kowtowing to your damn ego, okay?

[13:09] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well in the Uk it's the Womens World Cup which is the latest sport

Sixth attempt. I think.

[13:09] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: so happy [f**king] Friday ya'll:)
[13:09] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if u want to stop the drama stop feeding the fire
[13:09] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: are we talking westside story?
[13:09] cxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Yes [Xxxxx]
[13:09] Emilly Orr: I'm confused, people. All I've been saying for a solid week in another group is 'please be patient' because the designer's renovating, so the store's down. No one has freaked out. Why here?
[13:09] Axxxxxx Txxxxxxx: will take this to private

Yeah, but you should never have had to.

[13:09] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: tap dances ....look at me look at me
[13:09] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: of course you are now that you have been confronted on your unnecessary comment and behavior, or lack there of

Oh, my gods, LET IT GO.

[13:09] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: ta daaa
[13:10] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hmmm...... they were both in the wrong

You're welcome to your opinion.

[13:10] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: drowning save me

No one is going to save you. The drama sea is endless.

[13:10] cxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: But the Sharks brought more, in regards to choreography, I thought
[13:10] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: :D
[13:10] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Is anyone else watching ladies workd cup football (soccer) ?
[13:10] Axxxxxx Txxxxxxx: this is my happy day so shopping on
[13:10] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: glug glug sharks!
[13:11] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: no one freaked out until someone else made it seem like that person was being impatient, by asking a simple question

What are you, brain-dead? Were you dropped on your head as a child?

[13:11] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I watched that crazy win by the us
[13:11] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: [Bxx] let it go. happy friday!
[13:11] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but I haven't watched since
[13:11] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: some people have just a tendens to make 1 feather to ten hens :3 thats called drama :3 this discussion could have ended ages ago ^^
[13:12] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Me neither [Xxxxx]... but be patient England will win !
[13:12] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: :p

Thinking back on it, I think they did. But I could be thinking of a different match, too.

[13:12] Emilly Orr: All this does remind me, though, I haven't pulled the FLF notecard.

So I did that.

[13:12] Isssssssss Osssss: amen to that
[13:12] Xxxxx: [xxxxx] lol... tha'ts a new version of my name :P
[13:13] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I am so sorry
[13:13] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: I have a question... I couldn't find the item at Jun bug

I think most of us clenched in dread for a few seconds.

[13:13] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: did I miss it?
[13:13] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I prefer [Xxxxx] !
[13:13] Emilly Orr grins. She's used to it by now. She's been called Emily, Emly, Emmlly, Emy....if it starts with an E, she'll generally take it.
[13:13] cxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Xanadu would be sweet!
[13:13] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: timezones :-P i guess Jun Bug is still busy in RL ? :-P
[13:14] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: lol Emilly
[13:14] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: okies:) rl first right:)
[13:14] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if it helps i get [Pxxxx] a lot !
[13:14] Xxxxx: hehe... I"m just teasing :) I get called all sorts of interesting names
[13:14] Emilly Orr: So, without starting everything off again, she doesn't have the item out yet, but she'll probably put it out when she can.

That was the best I could do.

[13:14] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: okies
[13:15] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: sorry I missed that up top:)
[13:15] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: Thank you again for clearing that up... thought maybe it was my computer acting up
[13:15] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: :)
[13:15] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: THAT is what i call a polite answer :D
[13:16] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: :D

Hey, it worked for me, and better still, Ms. B didn't chime in with more Defcon-1-level dumb.

In other news...this baffling chat capture from a friend:

[12:47] Sxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxx smiles warmly, nodding, "Yes, certainly. You see, I'm a very powerful Master," he puffs out his chest slightly. "And I was just... you know, looking for slaveflesh..."

What?

[12:48] Lxxx Mxxxxxxxxxxx: Oh, I am sorry, I do not know any slaves.
[12:49] Sxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxx squirms with palpable frustration, "Oh, no problem. I mean... and.. I assume you don't have a deep, unquenchable urge to please me?"

Seriously, does anything this guy's said so far sound like a "very powerful Master"?

[12:50] Lxxx Mxxxxxxxxxxx: Well, dear, do you have a deep, unquenchable urge to pay me to please you?

And that that--gosh, so shocking--he shut up.

His name makes him sound like a sub, and his SL bio doesn't help, with one of the worst pieces of "poetry" I've ever run across:

Hello, pitcher plant,
smelling so sweet,
where's the harm
in a dip?
The end.

A paper Master
quivers in the whispered breeze.
He folds with a kiss.

Do be my slave girl.
Always strive for my pleasure.
But untie me first.

No! Wrong. You must ask,
"Master, may your humble girl
Straddle your face now?"

My Galatea,
My pretty, little Dommelette,
I break your slave shell.

Girl, that's the wrong sheath.
I said, "Hot, tight, wet."
Not locked.
And not cold, hard steel.

Please, bring back Vogon poetry readings, my gods. It's terrible.

ALL of his groups are centered around BDSM, hypnotism, mind control, dehumanization and objectification, induced fear and humiliation, and misogyny. BDSM is fine, but the rest are pretty much on my checklist of People to Avoid.

There's also a weird split between the more extreme male domination groups, and the more extreme femdom "cash pig" groups. So apparently he's also a switch? Would explain the strangely craven way he was seeking "slaves" for the "very powerful Master" he thinks he is.

This clenched it for me, from one of his picks:

I suppose I should mention that I'm hopelessly addicted to unhealthy attention and abuse. And while I am an unmitigated slut, easily tempted and led into all sorts of mischief, I ask you kindly not to do anything that might imperil any chance that she I will be deny and frustrated to tears.

"She I"? And it should be "denied and frustrated", not "deny and frustrated". But right, whatever, I'm done. Let's hope he doesn't come around work again.

Of course, if he ever comes across this, the limited abuse given here will probably reduce him to a quivering puddle of joy. I'm totally fine with submissive men, even switches, but I am completely not fine with submissives who think they're "very powerful Masters". Blargh. Be one or the other and switching between is fine, just don't try to be dominant when every scrap of language uttered tells every listener it's a flat-out fabrication.