Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts

17 October, 2026

there's nothing but chains around me

Allll right then. Let's talk about (hopefully) this year's haunt, Neon Ascendance. (Which needs a better name.)

The first disruption in Floret.

So the first hiccup with the neon terror was losing the original enclosed skybox (seen in the above image as the pale blue sky section). I still do not understand what happened. Left the build for the night, came back the next day to continue, skybox gone. Bwuh. But why.

The second disruption in Floret.

The next major event was partially my fault. See dolphins. Dolphins are broken. Why are dolphins broken? No idea. It puzzled me enough, I made a short vid on it. (Though I'm also 100% convinced it's user error. I break sealife. Why? I'unno. But it's not the first time it's happened.

But also (as again indicated by patches of sky) the entire build had dropped down half a meter. Why. WHY.

The third disruption in Floret.

I was still having problems with walled corridors I couldn't walk all the way through. Again, why? No idea, but I thought repositioning the corridors so they're slightly wider would help.

The fourth disruption in Floret.

Then my brain decided what would REALLY work better was to remove the interior black walls and replace them, because suddenly I hated black, or something?

So I started working on the proper width and layout of the NEW walls (working between restored skybox A and non-restored skybox B)...until last night when I took 2/3rds of the wall set back with a finger twitch. At that point, I had HAD IT for the night. Which was last night.

STILL having problems with the linkset, STILL having problems with the layout, which was not at all helped by someone coming over and nagging me about there still being non-walkable areas, which APPARENTLY were happening because my lovely curving mesh wall set, gifted to me by a love, was "bad mesh"...for...reasons?? (Reasons not adequately explained, is what I mean...)

The fifth disruption in Floret.

Oh, and THIS shhh....nonsense, was the OTHER issue I've been dealing with since I started. I rez prim. I texture prim. I give texture correct dimensions. It becomes stripes. WHY THE FUUUU--

I am maybe two micrometers from giving up on this entire concept. But okay. New plan.

The procession of skyboxen in Floret currently.

So far, I've made an original skybox, the which left, a mesh interior wall set, which dropped and then vanished, an enclosure skybox (the top blueish cube), and then every level you see from there in the above image? Are builds started which fractured, dropped, unhooked, repositioned, disappeared, or otherwise broke.

The new plan for Neon Ascendance.

Welcome to Em's Terrible Map Tutorial.

Not really, but i was motivated enough just to see how it would look if I abandoned the entire concept of curving interior walls. The last time I put together all the walls for the build, they clocked in around sixteen LI, counting the original exterior walls. As I'm really trying to keep the structure itself to the bare minimum, so I can put out all the weirdness and oddity I wanted to put out...that didn't sit well.

Thus, the mesh wall set. Which...I do not have the fortitude to fight, I just want it to work. But. If I reduce everything to bare individual prims? That gives me a total of thirty-eight. Which is not counting exterior walls, or the ramp or stair set I toss in to reach the second level.

This. Is. A. Nightmare.

26 April, 2026

drowning in the silence

Second post of the day, because I have been gone a WHILE--

And this one's more random. From a message I just sent my partner:
[3:57 PM] 26 April, 2026: Emilly [VOID]: I so want to ask for a land forms kit from Fanatik that now has PBR textures, but I'm still in a tailspin after coming back, things haven't evened out, and that was AFTER I apologized for going radio silent months before.

[3:59 PM] 26 April, 2026: Emilly [VOID]: The animal wounded retreats for imagined safety, and it never works out, and I do it anyway. 50% getting tired of saying the same things, 50% not wanting to "burden" other people (and yes, gosh, THANK you for that one, mother, you've been dead a third of my life now, get the F̸̥͍̭̮͛̉̈́̏̒̑̕͜#̶̧̳̦̤̩̥̮̳̖͈͑͠C̸͇̹̺͓͎̦̘̳̼̭͇̫̳͕̋̅́̆͐͛̅̒̄̌͗̆̕ͅK̸͓̜̘̤̼̮͎̜̠͙̈́͝ out of my brain, thx). I am bad at all the things.

[4:00 PM] 26 April, 2026: Emilly [VOID]: I love you still. I will try to be in touch more often, it's just...hard. Everything is hard right now. But I will perservere.

I will, it's just...still a bit thrown from life in general at present. Pain levels spiking, check, still struggling to get ONE new prescription since my optometrist changed his policies from "grudgingly updating my prescription to one new pair of glasses" to "Sorry, no, we don't give out pupillary distance unless you purchase at least one frame through us"...

How much are those frames? Well, the "cheap" trays start at $120 per pair...

Never anger the panda.


Oh, and for the gut-punch vicious irony, if I hadn't mentioned it before: lost my last client back in February, didn't know it until I fixed the comp enough to log back in. And I am using "lost" in its full sense, here--the motiver behind the screen passed away. Meeting nearly every week for eleven years...I miss him. I didn't expect his passing to be so destabilizing...but grief's like that at times, it sneaks up on us.

And with that, I think my courtesan days are finally over. My heart's just not in it. I guess I'm a Duchess full-time now, which won't be much of a shift, honestly--I pretty much am done, at least this year, with casual romps, I'm just keeping to the core group of loves. Three of which are pretty much perpetually offline...

RIGHT, this is getting dire. ANYWAY. I'll likely finish the post before this later tonight, 'cos I just crashed for the SEVENTH GORRAM TIME--

So that's it for now. Working on making OBS mah bish, because it's currently drop-kicked me into the basement, cackling maniacally. Bah. But I really want to do at least three vids, one of which should be for the upcoming five-year anniversary for Gearhaven.

(Did I not mention that? Yeah. Five years we've been on the grid. Time really flies when you're stressed beyond all comprehension, or something. But it's had its moments I would not exchange for all the perfumes of Arabia...

And I need to fix the blog layout. A-friggin'-gain...

All right, all right, that's it. Be well, be safe. Gearhaven out.

there's nothing but chains around me

Allll right then. Let's talk about (hopefully) this year's haunt, Neon Ascendance. (Which needs a better name.) So the first hic...