Friday, July 27, 2012

sense fear in your broken breathing

Tired of all the inanity, typos and bigotry on YouTube comments? Now you can edit them to a convenient and mentally disposable form by installing one small program.

I will admit, I'm tempted. Of course, it will take the good comments away along with the bad ones, but if that's the price we must pay for clarity--and a lack of inanity--well, it just might be worth it.

Speaking of inanity...more from the Help channel:

[Help] MindGame.: Get this everyone..Im in PVP and had to go AFK so Squirrell ganks my toon while im afk...and then gets all proud and puts it in his bio...classic noobdom

All right, first off, while I know I have my little mantra for moments like this (namely, for anyone who doesn't know: "It doesn't matter that they're calling them 'toons', they're too stupid to know better"), it still doesn't help in that initial few seconds. It's a knee-jerk reaction: I don't play WoW, I'm never going to play WoW, and part of why I don't is the complete idiocy of making characters to romp around in a fantasy setting, and then deliberately calling them cartoons.

But there's more to this than that. When one is in a PvP zone, one can be attacked by other characters. Therefore, one's best solution would be to leave the zone if one has to be away for an extended time. Why didn't "MindGame." do that?

[Help] Dark-ling: ((Serves you right for going AFK in a PvP zone. Dicks abound in PvP.))
[Help] Super Toy: You go AFK in a PVP zone, then call HIM a noob?
[Help] Shadow Santiago: Point


All good points, yes.

[Help] MindGame.: When you see Squirrell read his bio..classic tard...classic
[Help] Squirrel?: he's mad
[Help] Dark-ling: ((wonder why))
[Help] Squirrel?: he got spanked
[Help] Shadow Santiago: Now I want to PvP


I still don't, but I can see why folks would. One idiot ranting about the "unfairness" of getting killed in a zone where he can get killed, and why? Because he left the keys. Seriously, dude, all you had to do was walk out of the PvP zone, what's so hard?

[Help] MindGame.: So then he goes on this rant..and says he is putting me in his bio...so I told him he was going full retard...Never go full retard like him...lolololol
[Help] Darth-Killer: The only tard i see here is the one calling others tard because of his own mistake, MindGame. Namely... you.
[Help] Darth-Killer: don't bother, Squirrel, just blacklist him. ;)
[Help] GLAClUS: i go afk in pvp zone all the time. they're always ghost towns and there is no reward or consequence to dying so what does it matter?


To be fair, PvP really isn't a large part of City of Heroes, in large part because there's so many other enemies to fight. It's really a target-rich environment, plus players get more XP killing actual in-game enemies over other people.

There are essentially two ways to "join in" on this sort of "fun": first, mass PvP zones where bad things can happen to your character--whether you, yourself, are at the keys or not. Second, the arena, where the players go inside an instance to fight each other directly, or in teams.

There is never a point where one goes to a zone and is killed without their consent. You physically have to find the arena dome in your zone, and click the door to enter--and even then, you have a lobby before you go into the arena itself; or you go to places like Recluse's Victory, where everyone gets warned going in that it's a PvP zone, and you have the choice right then to stay or leave.

[Help] MindGame.: EXACTLY!!!...He is bragging about a AFK kill...classic noob
[Help] Squirrel?: i'm not bragging dip
[Help] GLAClUS: for agreeing with me i promise i will not freeze you in a block of ice and stab you with a sword made of my own hands
[Help] MindGame.: classic noob fear


I admit, I'm tempted to send a message to Squirrel asking him for a copy of his bio, or something. But also, why is this such a huge deal to MindGame, that he has to thoroughly distract Help channel with this nonsense, for hours?

[Help] Shadow Santiago: Hey, say noob again
[Help] Super Toy: Stop whining in help because you died. Help is for...well... help
[Help] Joseph Canwulf: Or, better yet, take this conversation to the arena channels, folks. You are in the general help chat.


Oh, were it only so. This should be restated: until the arrival of City of Heroes Freedom, Help channel was only for help. Now it's a meandering, passive-aggressive free-for-all most of the time.

Interspersed with the quotes I'm pulling out as I go on, between actual requests for help with this mechanic or that mechanic of the game, were ongoing catcalls back and forth between Squirrel and MindGame. I'll paraphrase:
  1. MindGame: fight me you cheater
  2. Squirrel: Nuh-uh
  3. MindGame: I'll go back to that PvP zone I like that you killed me in
  4. Squirrel: Come to the arena, I'll kill you there
  5. Mindgame: Noob
  6. Squirrel: Loser
Ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

Then Squirrel reposted something he saw while in the arena:

[Help] Squirrel?: 'MindGame. has declined to join your arena event.'
[Help] Squirrel?: there you have it
[Help] MindGame.: So he now runs away from me here in RV and wants arena..what cant handle RV ???


Well, I can't, for one, nor do I ever want to, but seriously--someone calls you out, and rather than go track down the fight you say you're spoiling for, you stay in Recluse's Victory and rant about how unfair the whole thing is? Seriously?

[Help] Magnus Stormborn: take it to whispers please, nobody cares about your pissing contest
[Help] MindGame.: Yeah he ran away from me..He cant fight in RV
[Help] Sarah R. Knight: Ooooh snap. Wait, no, what I meant was, who the fuck cares, you're not 12.
[Help] MindGame.: Why run off anywhere else...It started here but you now run away
[Help] MindGame.: IM here in RV noobles...Where the fight started..OMG he runs and hides again...jeeez


Did it ever once occur to him to take this into private message territory? No. Did it ever occur to him to take it into the actual Arena game channel? No. Did it occur to him to cease ranting if his opponent wasn't going to respond, rather than rant for over an hour and thus confirm his reputation as a blowhard child? Still no.

[Help] GLAClUS: would you just go in the closet and get it over with?
[Help] Squirrel?: please
[Help] Emperor Harkur I: Just Ignore them. I did.
[Help] Darth-Killer: glacius : mindgames still talking ? i've blacklisted him moments ago


This was the general consensus, yes.

Around this point, Squirrel stepped forward and apologized...sort of. It didn't help:

[Help] Squirrel?: sorry bout the disruption, i ignored em i'm just gonna farm this kid until he never comes back
[Help] MindGame.: LOL...he can only farm if your AFK
[Help] MindGame.: He runsaway and hides from you otherwise
[Help] Fortunata Sin: What's all this about?
[Help] GLAClUS: its just a pair of gay lovers having a marital dispute
[Help] GLAClUS: just look the other way and pretend its not happening
[Help] Lukhan Drake: Hey, don't drag the gays into this.


I will admit, Lukhan got major points for that line. In fact, overall, for the hours I spent in City of Heroes yesterday, every time gay-bashing surfaced (which it does with annoying frequency) someone stood up in Help, Looking for Group, or Broadcast and said it was wrong. I'm highly in favor of this trend.

[Help] Fortunata Sin: PvP is PvP, you can't fault someone for using a tactic that annoys you.
[Help] Hexman: Like showing up
[Help] MindGame.: Ok..ok..So just to show integrity if you have any...how long have you been trying to kill me since your lil afk gank?..two hours now?..anything??/...uh huh...he is a noob rocket allright...just runs off wont fight ya...


I think the entire channel rolled its collective eyes at this.

[Help] Fortunata Sin: Noob rocket, got it..
[Help] Fortunata Sin: Thanks for the heads up.
[Help] MindGame.: Actually more of a noob starship with transporters and phasers ...
[Help] MindGame.: There it is..he is a major noob...now he is just noob raging in here...classic


Actually, no, Squirrel's said very little throughout this entire exchange. MindGame, on the other hand, comes off as a petulant brat nearly from the initial line he sent out.

[Help] Fortunata Sin: Mindgame would like to state for the whole of Virtue that the person who pwned them in PvP is a major noob, and a starship.
[Help] MindGame.: He is so mad it is hilarious..he is talking about killing me and doing all of these diabolical things..wow I should write this all down..this is a classic noob meltdown squirrell is having..lol


That had to be in personal IMs, then, or he's simply hearing voices at this point, because we didn't see one single line of this in Help.

[Help] Shadow Santiago: What is MOST important, is that you feel superior to him, otherwise, whats the point?
[Help] MindGame.: Yes It is official..Squirrell is a noob starship..with warpnoob drive and such
[Help] Shadow Santiago: Say noob again
[Help] Flamekissed: He wants to impress us apparently and doesn't realise how little we care, and how small it makes him appear
[Help] MindGame.: You dont realize how little I care..lol
[Help] GLAClUS: like a redneck in a oversized pickup truck reving his engine because he doesnt have anything else to show off
[Help] MindGame.: Actually im a Care bear..


Wait...seriously? That's his comeback to someone saying that he must be overcompensating because he has small genitalia? To state that he's a stuffed, mass-marketed toy that has none?

Wau, MindGame, way to miss the insult, there.

[Help] MindGame.: Ok then what is his name?
[Help] Squirrel?: i'm done talking about it, that kid can have his account on a 3 day suspend
[Help] MindGame.: cmon whats his name?
[Help] MindGame.: aaaahhh ahhhhh you dont know it...but you know mine...


This isn't the boon he thinks it is. Remembering the name of the ranting imbecile who took over Help channel because his ego got punctured is a good way to ensure that no one teams with him, no one talks to him, and at least half the channel put him on ignore.

Squirrel, on the other hand, while also heavy in the posturing department, has mostly stayed out of the conversation, and thus comes off as the wiser, better man.

[Help] MindGame.: aaaaahhh now he want to get the devs...yep..he is a noob starship with warp noob drive...classic noob dev move..classic...lolol

For the uninitiated, while we're here, is this a thing? Like an internet meme thing? So many references to the "noob starship", is this something I'm just missing? Because it sounds like, in addition to being an ass, he has the imagination of a small blue bath sponge, and can't think of anything beyond reiteration of what he's already said.

And then--things got weirder:

[Help] MIND.GAMEs: Glacius your a coward..meet Mind Game in RV..are you afraid?

Wait, when did Squirrel drop out of the picture? The hell? And even more, when did the character change? He went from "MindGame." to "MIND.GAMEs" for...what reason, exactly?

[Help] MIND.GAMEs: Thats the point..you are all talk Glacious...You cant seem to back any of it up...Like Squirell
[Help] GLAClUS: thats why you had to change your name?
[Help] MIND.GAMEs: Nope just got on a different toon..one that PVP's all...so are you coming or do you back down?
[Help] CombustiBear: bitch slap each other on some other channel
[Help] Moo Jooz: so mind games is back trolling again


Apparently.

[Help] Edgefall: And this time he's on a level 1 blaster. Quick, everybody, PVP him!
[Help] Moo Jooz: thats good I will /ignore all of your accounts
[Help] MIND.GAMEs: Moo Jooz...Your life is on ignore..lol
[Help] Moo Jooz: its great he can keep popping $15 bucks to get ignored!
[Help] MIND.GAMEs: Bok bok bok..lil chicken..thats what I thought...anytime you grow a pair come to RV
[Help] MIND.GAMEs: See those lil minute pink things in your pants Glacius? They Jelly beans you dropped cause you got no ba.lls
Help] GLAClUS: at least i didnt get my nuts taken by a squirrel
[Help] CombustiBear: i just sent a petition to have mindgames booted off the server, three more anyone?


At this point, I was starting to think the same thing. In the end, I didn't, but if I see him blathering again in Help, he's so going on ignore.

[Help] MIND.GAMEs: Cause Glacius afraid to PVP in RV...Just like squirell...ran away and hid the whole time..classic tardom
[Help] GLAClUS: no because i dont pvp on a game if there is nothing to gain
[Help] MIND.GAMEs: I will stop if Glacius comes to RV
[Help] MIND.GAMEs: Stop being a coward Glacius and back up your words for once
[Help] Influenza Annie: You're assuming Glacius is a) still paying attention, and b) doesn't have you on ignore.
[Help] GLAClUS: i dont have him on ignore because im too busy laughing my ass off at him


Well, at least someone finds this amusing.

[Help] Joseph Canwulf: WTF, what is all this pvp bullshit in the help channel?
[Help] Kooky Monster: well there is an arena channel
[Help] Joseph Canwulf: When did that happen, didn't we used to moderate this channel?


Yes, before the launch of Freedom. Then I think the channel mod went and hid under his desk, frankly.

[Help] Joseph Canwulf: Not really interested in hearing two preadolescents pull each other's pigtails.
[Help] MIND.GAMEs: Same example of your life bro...getting called out on your shiz is how it goes ///It will on;ly get worse if you run like a chicken...
[Help] Joseph Canwulf: {-- closes the help channel.


And, as that sounded like an excellent idea, I did too.

It sounds like petulant whining of my own to say--yet again--that I wish the devs had handled the Freedom launch differently. For one, I still wish that folks on free-to-play could earn access to sending IMs and speaking in various channels; they can't now, but that would dump a lot of the whining and ranting off Help channel. There's been some of that splashing over onto the new channel, Looking For Group, but for the most part, people seem to be behaving in that one. But Help? Help is no longer helpful to most of us. Help is where you go when you can't talk anywhere else. Help is for spammers, idiots, and children who want to curse for no reason.

And that's a real shame. Because Help used to be actually helpful, to players who needed the help, and overwhelmingly got it when they asked for it. Now? It's just another channel broadcasting noise.

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