do you hear the people sing?

Happy Buy Nothing from Billionaires Day.

'til you learn with age what you can’t do and then try and make a change

Eerie Aquarium's take on depression is hauntingly accurate. Some of the other conditions fit, some don't, but I get the concept. And yeah, being neurodivergent is terrifying at times. NSF...brains? Disturbing content, definitely. Touch of body horror? Mild gore. Soundtrack-induced dread?

Also, as an aside, since the last post was political, let's carry on:

Creator @bekahdayyy has put together a point-by-point refutation of anyone in your life who says they voted for Donald Trump because of their Christian faith. It's not about faith, it's about power. If you're in the position to be attending Thanksgiving, Christmas or other holidays with family and friends who voted for the orange loon, maybe print this out to answer any questions they might have.

But it's not just about the policies. Project 2025 is a comprehensive document covering many areas the writers seek to "improve". Among them:

• Defunding the Department of Education, including Pell grants for college, striking down special education programs, and taking all further education and schooling for children to pricy private (many religious) schools.
• Defunding the Affordable Care Act (also known as Obamacare, and ACA, yes, it very much IS the same thing)--which will also include Medicare and Medicaid being cut by 90%, and removing all prescription price caps (including Biden's $35 cap on insulin. Also of note: food stamps will be taken from 93% of all Americans currently involved in the program.)
• No-fault divorce will be banned nationwide, leaving many women stuck in abusive situations to be battered, severely injured, or even slain.
• Another plan that will kill women is their purported federal abortion ban, allowing zero exceptions for rape, incest, or fetal malformations and the life of the mother.
• Try this one on for size; Dismantling the Marriage Equality Act and federally ruling that marriage can only take place between a man and a woman. Women will also, under the new ruling, lose their independent rights to separate financing, owning property, or--should the unlikely divorce be granted--their own children. and let's not forget, the Marriage Equality Act also insures that interracial marriage is protected. So that will be struck down as well. Guess Clarence and Ginny Thomas are splitting up next year.
• How about the rights of workers? They won't have any. Employers will be free to break up unions, to no longer offer overtime, to fire employees for any reason without fear of repercussions. And federally, employers will no longer have to worry about displaying bigotry or racism--they'll be free to make their workplaces as white as they wish.
• The military, and likely ICE, will be deployed to enact mass deportations. Far as I understand, the procedure will be arrest first, ask questions later--if at all. And let me quote from the document directly, as she put it so well:

  "1 in every 15 families is of mixed documentation status. American citizens will be subject to deportation if they have a family member living in the home undocumented...Denaturalization of immigrants who have received citizenship will begin. DACA will end. Our Asylum Program will be dismantled."

• This is a fun one--since Homeland Security was created as a bureau, the police already were partially militarized. But after Trump takes office? Police officers will receive prosecutorial immunity and be further militarized. Checks and balances on police overreach? What are those? Oh, and racial discrimination? Prepare for that to come back, in spades, as they receive a mandate to gun after anyone not white and conservative.
• Trump, through Project 2025, will give reparation to victims of discrimination...but of course, only the white ones. The plan is also to weaponize the Department of Justice to go after teachers, professors and alumni in colleges that practice diversity, equity, and inclusion (the dreaded "DEI") and fire them. Then tear down the colleges themselves, especially black ones.

Do I need to go on? Because I can go on. This document covers the appointees Trump is planning to push through, as well, and some of them are just as reprehensible, racist and lacking any skill sets for the positions they'll be taking over, as their chosen convicted felon is.



So, for anyone still reading along who voted for Trump? This is why I'm not interested in you being part of my life. We already had four years of him, when he was basically a gleeful, wheezing toddler with a hammer, breaking structures and yelling for hamburgers. He managed to put a tidy sum of money into his pocket from YOUR from being president those four years, too, or didn't you catch that he was charging the Secret Service hundreds of thousands of dollars to rent rooms in hotels he owned?

And you voted to put him in power again. I know there will be members of Congress fighting against his despotic desires, but he has said, multiple times, to multiple Cult 45 members, in multiple cities, that at the very least he plans to:

• Destroy education as we know it from kindergarten to college
• Ban teaching ANYTHING about African-American history; Japanese histories of children growing up in camps instead of houses (even though many Japanese-Americans during WWII were born in the US); anything about the contributions people of color have made to this country through invention, innovation, scientific, medical, legal and political advances; any reference to the near-genocide and seizure of land for indigenous peoples--essentially, anything that might hurt poor white peoples' feewings
• Destroy Medicaid and Medicare (so there goes my insurance)
• Destroy Social Security (and there goes my ability to pay rent)
• Destroy the Affordable Care Act (so there goes one of my love's insurance)
• Set high tariffs against countries he currently dislikes, which will drive the cost of EVERYTHING up (or didn't you realize what tariffs actually do?)
• Destroy the Veterans' Administration entirely (so there goes my other love's insurance, since she's a veteran)
• Remove responsibility for womens' medical care and bodily autonomy (and as a woman, I kind of take that personally)
• Remove marital rights guaranteed to men from women (and this alone, even were I not happy with the loves I have, would ensure I'd never marry), essentially starting the process to make them American citizens with reduced rights;
• Restrict food stamps to the narrowest possible sliver of citizenry (so, hey, I guess I don't need to eat anymore, right?);

--and AGAIN, I COULD GO ON--



Is it sinking in yet? Having any regrets on how you voted? Because I'm hearing that a lot, too--that Trump voters "didn't really understand", or "didn't know" he was proposing to sink so many ships. And for me, I mean, great, you have seen that your cult leader may not be precisely trustworthy, but COULD YOU NOT HAVE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION BEFORE VOTING FOR HIM?!??

But that's it. End of rant. I refuse to trust people who voted for me to starve, get sicker, or outright die. Just because the price of eggs went up. Oh, babies, just WAIT until the 200% tariffs go into effect on Chinese imported goods, or Mexican imported fruits and vegetables, and you'll be having to choose between paying rent, or buying a new skirt. Paying for necessary medical equipment or prescriptions, or buying a bag of apples. No more. No. More.

the ruins of the day painted with a scar

I didn't go through a single haunt this year. It's strange to say that. I have so many things to review, and I've missed the events they were at for all of them. I regret that. And I have so many drafts I wanted to go through and post. I still might, but...there are more important things to do.



Listen. If nothing else, this has proved unequivocally that half of the United States still thinks women aren't people.

The forced-birthers won. The COVID deniers won.
The religious extremists won. The anti-vaxxers won. The anti-maskers won.
The climate-change deniers won. The prosperity gospel churches won.
The QAnon conspiracists won. The MAGAt cultists won.
The tech bros with frat-boy mentalities won. The NRA won.
The anti-feminists won. The Trump-as-Messiah worshippers won.
The neo-Nazis won.

It's morning in Gilead. This is who we are. But this is not who we have to be. I do not intend to subside quietly until the jackbooted thugs come to carry us away to the camps. I am who I am yesterday, who I am today--bisexual, Rökkatruar heathen, polyamorous--and I am not going to hide.

And if you're friends with me, or if you're one of my loves, and you voted for Trump--don't tell me. Or do, so we can break it off clean and walk away from each other. That is my line in the sand. Because if you voted for him, you voted for dozens of hate groups behind him that want to make this a theocratic dictatorship. You voted against every LGBT+ person in your life. You voted against anyone who's trans in your life, whether they've come out to you or not. And ultimately, you voted against everyone who shares my gender.

Is it sinking in yet? More women will die with a locked-in federal ban on abortive and prenatal care. Anyone who's not white has a very good chance of being attacked in the streets, arrested, deported, whether they were born here or not. Separating children from their parents at the border will likely start up again..not that it actually ever stopped, but there has at least been an attempt to reunite families post-Trump...Mandated church attendance? They could do that. I know when we were living in a very frightening small town, we were told to pick a church and go to it faithfully--because otherwise, we'd be considered Satanists and they'd shoot us.

These were cops saying that, by the way. I believe the exact quote was, "Well, ma'am, then we'll come back, help you both into a truck, drive into the scrub, and put you to sleep."

Is it sinking in yet? Trump is talking about putting a man with a partially-devoured brain in charge of women's health. Musk he's lined up for a new department, one called "Efficiency", where he'll kill any program he deems as wasting too much money. You know, like he did with Twitter--oh, sorry, I mean X--when he fired the entire coding department and suddenly, things started breaking down. Such a mystery.

He's talked about removing the FDA, the Bureau of Education, killing school lunch programs, loosening the clean-air restrictions so factories and corporations don't have to go by the keeping-people-alive programs. He says he'll fire every civil servant on the government's payroll, and replace them with his hand-picked people. He's enslaved now to special-interest churches who seriously believe that Jesus won't return until every tree is cut down. He wants no separation between church and state. The Supreme Court, formerly a panel with--at least supposedly--the most well-educated, well-versed in law, judges and lawyers...is essentially in his pocket.

And all of that is assuming he lives for the next four years. It would be so easy to be one of those "best people" close to him and just--help him to stop breathing. And then we'd have President Vance.

Trump is the first convicted felon to hold a high office. He's been convicted for fraud, embezzling, sexual assault, attempting to overturn the government...Is this really the caliber of man we want leading the country? Essentially an emotionally stunted sociopath, clearly and obviously sliding into Alzheimer's, who golfs more than Obama did, who keeps a list of people and groups that were mean to him so he can penalize them directly...this man is not presidential material.

"But oh, she supports Israel...oh, she isn't left enough...oh, it's not the time for a woman president...oh, as a prosecutor she put a lot of people of color away..." Okay. Compare and contrast--someone who might reconsider at least part of her position if enough voters asked for it, versus...Trump. Who WILL further arm Israel, who plans to cut off any future aid to Ukraine, and may in fact start shipping ammo and arms TO Russia, for all we know.

IS IT SINKING IN YET??

I'm not hiding. And echo chamber or not, I'm just porting away from anyone who starts talking about how great it's going to be under Trump again. Or bouncing people from the Gearhaven estate if I'm there. I am done with tolerating the fools who think the next four years will be anything but greater chaos than he managed during his first four years.

I don't often talk politics on this blog, because I don't want to. I left Twitter a month after Musk took over, because I could already see it becoming a haven for every right-wing nut-job still gunning for the Obamas and the Clintons for being part of the huge underground child trafficking ring...which doesn't exist, which never existed, but hey, I could pull up a double dozen articles on Republican senators, preachers and business owners who were caught doing that exact thing. May I refer you to Matt Gaetz, for example? The DOJ was told to drop the case, but the civil and criminal charges are still pending. And he's far from the only one.



But that's it. You can go home now. Everybody out of the pool.

Or go here and do some good.

NOW that's it.

how are you so burnt when you're barely on fire?

Yeah...



It hasn't been the best day.

Taking a mental health day today, I think, so if I log onto the grid, it won't be for long. I have things to do Saturday, and a reading at the Chelsea Hotel to do on Sunday, so I'll do that, but right now...yeah, I think I'm good just hanging out for a bit and going to bed.

I'm also putting the same behavior into practice on the blog, right now, that I've put into practice on Twitter right now: if you disagree with why the court decision bothers me, you're free to comment, but I will then delete your comment, and it will not cause me one single iota of regret. Cheers.

the world's a little blurry, or maybe it's my eyes

I'm turning over this entry almost entirely to Amanda Palmer. This is from her latest Patreon entry:

right now, if you are in Ukraine, please know that we are sending all our love.

i am sure that all of you - my patrons, who are People of the Internet - are all already inundated with news, stories, and harrowing, unforgettable images from the senseless destruction of life, property and peace over there.

we are just a little community of 10,000 or so people.

i have been wondering: what can we do?

i could make the usual speeches and send you links to the red cross and the UNHCR and hope for the best, as we watch our checkbooks flow to the larger and more established aid and relief charities. but then i thought about gaba.

(Editrix insert: This is Gaba Kulka. She's a friend of AFP's who lives in Poland. She'll explain below.)

gaba kulka is one of my old-school touring musician friends. she lives in poland and we have kept up with each other - on stages, in person, on the internet - for a very long time.

So I looked up her music on YouTube. This one came up. I don't speak Polish, so Google Translate it is, and I don't think it translates accurately, but I get the gist, I think:

My ambiguities
instead of explaining, they became permanent
you ask if it's good
ask another time
I'm too busy
I try not to make a mistake

You don't pick up rice from the street when it's sprinkled once
the damn pigeons had eaten everything up, only dust and limescale
why everything is so simple is so simple
it's as simple as that until it happens to you

Your doubts
they will always stay on this topic
no belonging
when I want to gain one, I lose the other
I will lull my vigilance
maybe it will stop bothering me like that
overabundance
when I cannot love, I have no way to cheat

You don't pick up rice from the street when it's sprinkled once
the damn pigeons had eaten everything up, only dust and limescale
why everything is so simple is so simple
it's as simple as that until it happens to you

My ambiguities and
your ambiguities
overlap
Maybe it will be alright

I hear a lot of Amanda energy in that song. I can see why they're friends, I think. This was off her 2009 album, "Hat, Rabbit".

she writer crazy-intelligent punk-cabaret-type songs, speaks better [f*cking] english than i do even thought it's her second language, and has a daughter, matylda, who is almost exactly ash's age.

she and i have been comparing notes as musician-moms since the babies came. we've had a beautiful, slowly flowering friendship, and i treasure her. we have phoned each other every couple of months since the pandemic started, and checked in on one another's mental health. we joke with each other. we mourn with each other. we compare notes about our weird kids.

here we are, performing and hanging out together in 2012:

This was probably around the time Amanda was recording with the Grand Theft Orchestra.



This picture makes me giggle. AFP with her usual mugging for the camera, and Kulka with the long-suffering expression, but that hint of a smile.

i have been listening to the pain in gaba's voice about the political situation over there.

so when the invasion of ukraine happened, i called her.

she told me that she and her husband were literally at the supermarket, buying nappies, buckwheat and other simple supplies for the refugees that were flooding into poland. she told me that friends in the neighborhood were converting their homes into apartments to house the people landing on their doorsteps. [f*ck].

my first reaction was to want to cover her grocery bill. and to ask her if those friends needed cash. to to ask if we could send her money, to spend on these immediate issues in her neighborhood. but she's one person, and a busy mom, not a [f*cking] charity. i could not ask her to do this.

so i took a deep breath and asked her what, very specifically, we could do to help.

us. right here and now.

this community: what could WE do to help?

after thinking about it for a week, this is what she wrote:

Ever since the Russian army's aggression on Ukraine, Polish people started mobilising at every level to help our eastern neighbours, and that feels like a beacon of hope in this grim time.

But even though the countless, grassroots efforts have been uplifting, they have also been really hard to get my head around, and this fragmentation has become an increasing problem - it may feel overwhelming right now, to find the exact right place where you should put your energy and money.

What we need is better communication, and a more centralized system of support for people affected by this war.

That's why my first thought went to nonprofits that I'd already known for years, who already have the know-how - most of all Fundacja Ocalenie, who has been working with and providing help to refugees in Poland for many years.

Luckily some people have it together, and know that combining efforts is the way to go: There is a huge fundraiser, Together For Ukraine:



https://zrzutka.pl/en/razemdlaukrainy

It is based on one of the largest fundraising platforms in Poland.

The organizations benefiting from the fundraiser include Fundacja Ocalenie, Polskie Forum Migracyjne, Homo Faber, Fundacja Dialog and many more.

They post frequent and helpful updates documenting how some of the funds are already put to use.

As an addition: if someone likes to know very precisely what their money buys. Here are two verified fundraisers that gather money for 1) tactical first aid kits https://zrzutka.pl/dlaukrainy and 2) bulletproof vests and helmets https://zrzutka.pl/pomocukrainie The links come from the Euromaidan-Warszawa organisation, which has been active since 2013.

Please consider supporting them.

I looked up Fundacja Ocalenie on Charity Navigator. They tend to judge their reviewed charities harshly, but considering none of us want to be scammed, and we can't all fly over and ask to see the public books of every international effort out there, I trust the work they do. They give them four stars, which in my judgement is kind of amazing--I've listed as worthy charitable efforts on the sidebar charities that come in at 3.5.

Anyway, back to Amanda:

.........

I really trust Gaba, and I hope you trust who I trust, so please consider sending your money over in that direction. I just donated $500.

Like I said above, even if you can only donate $10, it will mean a great deal to the cause that you took the time to do it, and it will send a message of people-power.

If you donate, leave us a comment here, and we will praise and love you.

I didn't donate because I want the praise and love. I am not well off, RL. (This is not a secret.) Hells, I'm not even moderately okay RL, financially. And what I donated--five flat plus the processing fee so the charity effort didn't have to front it, which came, ultimately, to a bit over ten--is not their recommended mid-range of 70 zloty, which works out to about sixteen USD. But I had to help.

...............

and another thing, and possibly even more important....for a more sustainable future in the NEWS department:

THE KYIV INDEPENDENT is on Patreon - one of the only independent media outlets in the country. I supported them last week and I cannot tell you how good it feels to be able to know that my dollars are literally keeping real, honest journalism funded in ukraine.

this is a super powerful place to put your money, and you can become a patron for a dollar. even if you've been cutting back on patronage lately (and i know there's been a lot of belt-tightening lately), this is different.

this is revolutionary beyonf art and music. this is giving funding, a voice, a megaphone to a press that really, really needs the support.

i became the 3,249th patron last week....they are are now up to OVER 6,000 PATRONS, bringing in about $67,914/month. it's amazing.

the newspaper is in ENGLISH. your funding will help then with bills, internet access, office costs, reportage, security, translators, photographers....you name it.....everything you can imagine. this is incredible.

PEOPLE. POWER!!!!!!!!

please become a patron of these guys alongside me:

https://www.patreon.com/kyivindependent

The rest of the Patreon was her thanking her fans, wishing us love and strength, and the never-ending end-of-all-posts tag with all her social media. The only thing about her words I changed was censoring [f*ck] a little, because I still try not to curse on the wee blog. This was the important message, though.

When I get up tomorrow--it's late--I'll code up a graphic and slap this fundraising effort into the sidebar. (Under Zen, of course. Priorities. But it'll be there when I get it done.)

And...that's it. Hang in there, people. Give if you can to a country that's being pounded into dust because Putin was left alone in the archives too long and decided he needed Ukraine 'back'. They are shelling schools. They are shelling hospitals. They are deliberately killing children. They are using thermobaric weapons and petal mines (and believe me, the irony of Russia using a weapon that they reverse-engineered from a US design we used in Viet Nam, which was based on an earlier, larger Luftwaffe one does NOT escape me). We need to help.

So help if you can. I try to avoid politics on the blog, there's enough drama on the grid, but...this was necessary. If you can at all spare it, donate. Ukraine needs everyone's aid to get through this.

speak, speak, speak, speak

(So I am going to partially anonymize, here--this happened in the Contraption store group, which I feel is important because ordinarily, it's an even more polite group than Caledon. Which is why this was so odd. And everyone but the idiot offender is anonymized; I figure, a guy half the group chat files an AR on deserves a small bit of infamy.

(This one's also long.)

[20:21] Dxxxxx Hxxxxx: there is a new pants that might go well with webb's waistcoat but it has a demin texture anyway it is from david heather and is now available in TMD



[20:21] American Grayman: usa goes to war with china late may

Meet our main offender. And...what?

[20:21] American Grayman: usa is also bankrupt
[20:21] American Grayman: lol
[20:21] American Grayman: you cant imagine either one
[20:22] American Grayman: everyone knows .. but they aint talking about it.... banks aint allowed.. either

Since, uh...when??

[20:22] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Thank you for sharing

I won't lie, had I seen this when it first happened--I had to read back a fair amount, I was distracted with the new sims arriving--I might have been far less polite.

[20:22] American Grayman: np
[20:22] American Grayman: 18-29 .. your cannon fodder
[20:22] American Grayman: ..30-42 .. we fought in middle east
[20:22] American Grayman: we can war well
[20:22] American Grayman: your first wave ..
[20:22] American Grayman: covid mutates 64 times by march 2022 ... how many booster shots u gttting

That should be "you getting", and...man, everything in that statement is wrong, or stupid.

[20:23] Nxxx Lxxxxxxx: That really isn't appropriate here. Thanks

Again, far more polite than I would have been at this point. This troll is quite the aggressive little limp noodle, isn't he?

[20:23] American Grayman: dont worry im a reatart.. stragihht windolickin

I'm not even bothering to translate that.

[20:24] American Grayman: vaccines give people polio type complications next year
[20:25] American Grayman: sorry you got 1st in line..lol lol

And you know this...how?

[20:27] American Grayman: should be wonderin why you aint heard not athing about bankruptcy
[20:28] Nxxx Lxxxxxxx: If you don't stop you'll be ejected

That should be "not a thing", or, as I suspect you mean, "nothing", and...Yes, please. When?

[20:28] American Grayman: awwww.. dam ... ok.. [f*ck] you [c*nt]

How appalling.

[20:28] American Grayman: your dead 2050 u cant breath on earth

It's "you", and again, "your", and "breathe".

[20:28] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Excuse??

And this is when I arrived, very confused.

[20:28] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: please eject the idiot
[20:28] American Grayman: awww... .. i didnt get the bannss
[20:28] Nxxx Lxxxxxxx: And gone
[20:28] Fxxxx Sxxxxxx: Y E E T

Oh, thank you.

[20:28] American Grayman: lol
[20:28] American Grayman: lol
[20:28] American Grayman: salves

I think you meant "slaves". And of course, the sad thing about any block is that the person blocked then has to close the chat. This one, though...he seems determined to keep going.

[20:28] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) reads back and blinks.
[20:28] American Grayman: oh
[20:29] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: yeet indeed
[20:29] American Grayman: maybe u should question
[20:29] American Grayman: should be wonderin why you aint heard not athing about bankruptcy
[20:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): What a complete unseasoned chicken wing you are.
[20:29] American Grayman: usa is bankrupt [b*tchs]
[20:29] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: why is he back

Because he still has chat open.

[20:29] American Grayman: war with china
[20:29] American Grayman: figure out why im right
[20:29] American Grayman: lol
[20:29] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx do you think that he is a professional troll, or only does it in his spare time?

He's not entertaining enough to do this professionally.

[20:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Until he closes the window, sadly, we're stuck with him, it's a flaw

And yes, what I said.

[20:29] Bxxxx Dxxx: just send AR report :)
[20:29] American Grayman: aww
[20:29] Fxxxx Sxxxxxx: Yeah it's just a flaw with the group, just mute him
[20:29] American Grayman: ints a owned group
[20:29] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: Ya, can always AR
[20:29] American Grayman: awww
[20:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): But once he does, he will be gone from the group.
[20:29] American Grayman: dam
[20:29] American Grayman: no admin in a private group

There can be lots of admins in a private group. Also lots of moderators.

[20:29] American Grayman: dam
[20:29] American Grayman: usa is going to lose
[20:30] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And an AR can be filed at this point for continual harassment.
[20:30] Bxxxx Dxxx: yus
[20:31] Bxxxx Dxxx: hes a hub troll

I then set about properly ARing the idiot, as I hovered over Krakenstorm.

[20:31] Fxxxx Sxxxxxx: There he's properly banned
[20:31] Bxxxx Dxxx: just AR it
[20:31] Sxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxx: *Black Lavender*

What?

[20:31] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: Y'know, with all the items coming back to the store, I wonder why this one never did... https://www.flickr.com/photos/waltonwainwright/47744583292/
[20:32] Nxxx Lxxxxxxx:

[2021/05/04 16:41] [Nxxx Lxxxxxxx]: it's not likely to be back anytime soon. There are issues with the product that need to be addressed before we can put it back out.

[20:32] Nxxx Lxxxxxxx: was asked about earlier XD
[20:32] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: Ahh, that would explain it
[20:33] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: report filed
[20:33] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: hate this faux news driven nutbaggery

Me too.

[20:34] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: Eh, looked like trolling more than anything NBD
[20:34] Fxxxx Sxxxxxx: So to get around that glitch, banning completely yeets them, eject doesn't normally work.

Good to know there's a workaround.

[20:34] Nxxx Lxxxxxxx: No more kid gloves anymore? :'D
[20:35] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: I might also recommend a cannon
[20:35] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: cannon oh yes I agree
[20:35] Lxxx Cxxx: lol thanks for getting rid fo the idiot
[20:35] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Of course the person named McCann would suggest a cannon

And a child avatar suggesting a cannon, as well. Irony.

[20:35] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: I have an avatar cannon. shame it has to be voluntary..
[20:35] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: Of course!
[20:36] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Cannon McCannonface, obviously
[20:36] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: :D
[20:36] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Yers
[20:36] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: *Naturally*
[20:36] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And blocked and ARed.

Along with likely half the chat, easy.

[20:39] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: Walt, how about some pants rigged for female avs?

The eternal question.

[20:39] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: I believe those are against his religion
[20:39] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if the pants are too loose I can't tell his religion
[20:40] axxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: what
[20:40] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: LOL
[20:40] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: I'm not sure I need to know that much info, [Mxxxxxxx]

I don't either.

[20:43] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I've always been the curious sort
[20:43] Sxxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxx: Never go [a**] to mouth

Please stop.

[20:43] mxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i mean
[20:44] mxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: in the heat of the moment
[20:44] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: not THAT curious
[20:44] mxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ....
[20:44] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Okay. Sometimes.
[20:44] axxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'm very lost

You're not alone. But at least, the troll was gone. Hallelujah. And then, something actually fun came up...

[20:44] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: No buttstuff!
[20:45] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx Black Lavender

Why do you keep saying this?? I don't understand! I mean, I know what black lavender tea is, but...is that what you mean? Somehow, I don't think so.

[20:45] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Is that your safe word?
[20:45] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: what's wrong with butt stuff?

Nothing, but...why do we have to discuss it in Contraption group chat??

[20:45] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: No. My safe word is Hiawatha.
[20:45] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Uhhh nothing
[20:45] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I had a safe word but 2020 wouldn't listen to it

[20:46] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Haha, yeah 2020 sucked
[20:46] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Except for the part where I met my wife in this group!

And there was much rejoicing!

[20:46] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: hee
[20:46] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol OK then that was good
[20:46] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: And married her in RL haha
[20:47] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Yus
[20:47] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: No. Way.
[20:47] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: !
[20:47] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx kisses her gently.... she's right next to me

[20:47] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Yup
[20:47] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): You know, there are a lot of stories like that in SL.
[20:47] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: congratulations, that is awesome
[20:48] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) points to the third lass of her trio, who she met dating in world with someone else entirely, and who then moved in.
[20:48] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): We just passed ten years together.

S'truth. She was part of a trio in Second Life, and, when that broke apart, she wanted to meet me, and my lady wife (who she was seeing in another relationship, because polyamory's fun that way). And...the rest is history.

[20:48] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Thank you! Yeah, I have heard many SL stories of people meeting and marrying in RL
[20:48] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Awww
[20:48] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Congrats!
[20:48] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: Thank you, [Mxxxxxxx]
[20:49] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: Congrats Em
[20:49] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) smiles.
[20:49] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And to you.
[20:49] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: I've heard horror stories about people meeting in SL and getting married.

Yeah, but the same can be said about meeting anyone on the net and meeting them in person. The same can be said meeting people in more "traditional" ways in RL, and getting married in RL, and having it implode into emotional shrapnel. It's not SL's fault.

[20:50] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ha
[20:50] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I was in a relationship for 6 years from RLC
[20:50] Nxxx Lxxxxxxx: How is that a horror story? lol
[20:50] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: RLC is the horror part.
[20:50] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: the horror part was the gay atheist republican part
[20:51] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I mean
[20:51] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: who the hell heard of that

It does seem highly contradictory. Please, sign me up to support a political group that is antithetical to every single interest I hold, and my own well-being. That sounds wise.

[20:51] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: oh... the log cabin republican type
[20:51] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Yes, sadly, Log Cabin Repubs exist.
[20:52] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: wife's bro is one. trump supporter and all
[20:52] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: smh
[20:52] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: though
[20:52] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: I remember signing my homophobic high school history teacher up for Log Cabin news letters to be delivered to his mail box at the school.
[20:52] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Yep.....He's stupid.
[20:52] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ttechnically he was bi
[20:52] Cxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Haaaaa
[20:52] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: lol Ak
[20:54] Exxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxxxxx: wish I thought of that. I went to a private catholic school. there would have been repercussions
[20:54] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ex started off Catholic
[20:55] Sxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: he got over it

Always possible. And thus, the capture endeth, on a much better note than it started. All is back to right with the world...or at least, the strange, surreal, clockwork-and-steam-and-diesel world Mr. Wainright and partner are creating.

and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies

This is from a group whose purpose, I will freely admit, generally centers around the sharing of mutual pleasure, but sometimes, things go a little...askew:

[05:21] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Are there people actually around the sim?
[05:22] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: never usually sadly
[05:22] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh :(
[05:22] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: How disappointing

I think at one point, this group was far more cohesive. But years go by, changes happen in lives and in structures, and we all seem to be more scattered across the grid at this point.

[05:23] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh people will come for discussion if you ask them.
[05:23] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Sunday evening is a good time
[05:23] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: say 4 PM Linden time

Also other times. This is a group that actually frequently has reading events, in text or voice, so things do happen now and again.

[05:24] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: omg , so bad time for an european person. But I will be there till noon SL time, if someone likes to chat
[05:24] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well, so you should use some other time since you use European time.
[05:25] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Right, I just don't meet anyone there at my active hours. I take it, that not so many europeans know the sim
[05:25] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: how do you know if you don't try?
[05:25] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I will try :)

I hear this a lot from people, actually, all over the grid. No events in X time slot. Okay, so...if we don't see them, is it that hard to make them? Set a time, set a place, set a theme? Not everything has to be go to club/listen to DJ/dance mindlessly, after all.

[05:26] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: send some messages in the early evening, your time, and see who will respond
[05:26] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I will try that, thanks for the advice!
[05:27] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: My other advice is to forbid discussion of Donald Trump, because that is guaranteed to ruin the evening.

In a heartbeat, and that's one of the things that is disallowed in the group, discussion of politics.

[05:27] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'm sad to say.
[05:28] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh, for a Finnish girl like me, the US politics is totally indifferent thing
[05:28] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I don't participate to the US politics. And I did read the group notice that was out there

This was the notice that said

"[The group] Is NOT the place for ANY political debates, baiting or discussion. There are many political groups for that purpose.

"What [the group] is for is discussion of books, booze, coffee, sex, role playing, photography (especially those pics taken IN [the group]!), poems, reading erotic stories to others in voice...and many more that I can't think of now, Lots of topics to discuss!

"Thanks in advance!"

It's not a huge ban of topics, is the point; virtually anything else is perfectly fine.

[05:28] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I never sure if my lifestyle welcomed there either sometimes

I admit, this made me curious. I pulled her profile. Not much on it that specifically points to something beyond the norm--she's bisexual, she's married to two women, she likes being nude. From her groups, there's maybe a draw to "t-girls"--a term of which I'm not fond, but it is a specific fetish category. And even that is not really out of line.

[05:29] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: So far I know [bxxxx], your lifestyle doesnt matter

I mean, unless her life's joy is kicking puppies, or something, she's probably fine.

[05:29] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: awww thats great hearing ty
[05:29] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Only not to talk about politics and behave politely, that are the rules
[05:30] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I usually naked there so maybe that upsets

I doubt that. While most members start off fully clothed, it's not at all uncommon of an evening to discover various states of undress, all the way down to bare skin.

[05:30] rxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'm in the middle of the US, and I love the idea of not discussing politics; there's so much more we can all share
[05:30] Axxx Sxxxxx: You can always chat to me, but i guarantee you wont like it!

Yes, Mr. A, thanks bunches, you've made that plain. Not many of us are willing to talk to you anymore.

[05:30] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I don't think nudity's ever been an issue in [the group], but I could be wrong.
[05:30] rxxxx Rxxxxxxx: including nakedness :-)
[05:31] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmm good
[05:31] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: being naked is totally fine here at [the group], [bxxxx]
[05:31] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: awww huggss ty [Axx]
[05:31] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: But does the rule not to talk about politics also include the discussion of political history?

You fill me with dread. Say on.

[05:32] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'm huge fan of history, and often it's hard to debate about it, without the politics incuded
[05:32] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: in my experience, Trump is the flash point
[05:32] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Okies, so no Trump. What about Hitler?

Why, though?

[05:32] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: anything else can be discussed.
[05:33] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: well we beat him [Axx] hehe
[05:33] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: So Hitler is fine, since he's been dead for over 75 years
[05:33] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I mean, if you absolutely have to, I...guess?

I just...as I said, I don't get why.

[05:33] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: brought we europeans closer after his defeat
[05:34] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I never tried it...
[05:34] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: discussing about WW2 is veery difficult without inculding Stalin or Hitler to that.

Maybe it's just a difference in intent? As in, one can discuss WWII, and mention Stalin, Hitler, or the SS--in passing--as a reference, but...wanting to discuss only Hitler? What historical value does that have for this group? Outside of scholarly writings on that topic, specifically, brought up in reference for 'what I'm reading now' discussions?

Same thing with Trump, in my opinion. If one is discussing current events, it is difficult not to mention him, I agree. But if one is only willing to discuss Trump, and nothing else, that's the same issue.

[05:35] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: What does it tell about people nowadays, when you have to totally avoid certain topics? Are we not sophsticated enough, have we lost the ability to argumentation?

So...barring a sensitive topic, but allowing all others, is us lacking sophistication? Interesting outlook. I suppose it could be seen that way--people are so reactionary on the topic, at least in the US, that they cannot see their way clear to reasoned discussion on either side of the argument. At this point, a civil war has been suggested--and may be still brewing--and there is blood on the ground, so...Maybe we are lacking sophistication, in this.

But I also see a very large separation between informed debate, and arguing. I'm usually fine with informed debate. Arguing just gets...dull, when I could be doing more interesting things, like flossing my cat.

[05:35] bxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: woke is spoiling proper debate

"Proper debate" doesn't include knock-down, drag-out fights...which I've seen happen whenever certain politicians are mentioned. In world and out. Hence, the reason this ban arose.

[05:37] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: In my opinion SL has never been a place for free debatting. The sim owners can always decide what is allowed and what is not

That's also true.

[05:37] rxxxx Rxxxxxxx: If I may offer a perspective: perhaps the underlying idea is to have the group discuss and debate rather than argue?
[05:37] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I would agree.
[05:37] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): That, and...arguing with people has never been a kink of which I'm particularly fond.

Same thing with people wanting to punch me in the face. Not my thing, move along, get your catfight-fueled joy elsewhere.

[05:38] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I just offered my personal experience.
[05:38] txxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I do get that [rxxxx]. And around Tump-issue the risk for arguing is very real.
[05:38] Bxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: unavoidable, actually......
[05:38] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: My groups were not able to discuss Trump in a meaningful way, and they sought to drag him into the conversation at any opportunity

Because it's polarizing.

[05:39] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but do whatever you wish
[05:41] Bxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if people want to skirmish about the Great Orange One in IMs that is their own business - it is not an appropriate topic of conversation for a group chat as many will take offense

THIS.

[05:42] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Which is not conducive to the sharing of sensual pleasure.
[05:44] Bxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: quite the opposite....
[05:44] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods.

And I thought that would be that, but...*I* had to push the point.

[05:53] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Is it just resentment that any topics are banned, due to the causing of controversy, or...*that* topic, specifically? I do find myself a tad curious.
[05:57] lxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Mhm, me too. Does that mean Brexit talk is banned?
[06:00] Bxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that might be best....... we really dont want to be wasting our time debating the merits of TWO fat, orange, bellicous numpties, do we?
[06:01] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) giggles

What a way to describe Trump and Johnson.

[06:01] rxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I have plenty of groups in which conflict and argument are common; this one has been a great place for respectful discussion and interaction
[06:01] lxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: So what is allowed - the weather?
[06:01] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Really? You think conversation is that tightly restricted here, [Lxxxx]?

Because it certainly sounds like she thinks, because one single topic is off the table, that NOTHING EVER can be ON the table now, and...that's just silly.

[06:02] Bxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Be it resolved, the only permissible topics of conversation in group chat are sex, puppies and pie......
[06:02] Bxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: especially pie.... :)

And maybe kittens.

[06:02] lxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I honestly do not know what is or isn't allowed. I shall have to read the rules.
[06:05] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): They are at the landing point, still.
[06:06] lxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Then I will get them. Thanks.

I was curious myself, as I didn't think they'd changed overly from when I grabbed them, joining the group, so when I had time, I dropped by.

There are a lot of provisions on the card, but these are the relevant ones, I think:

Adult themes - expect nudity
Human adult avatars only (over 18)
No - disrespect, spamming, griefing, advertising,
No - Full Bright/glowy/bling/facelights/particles
Please avoid the use of gestures as much as possible

Fairly basic, right? I mean, the 'human avatars only' makes me slightly irked, but everyone's allowed their prejudices, I suppose.

There's a bit about the dress code and roleplaying, neither of which apply to the conversation above, so I'm leaving them out. But from the last paragraph of the roleplaying section, and the two paragraphs after, there's this:

We realize that there may be a mix of individuals that will come to [the group], so please be respectful to the diversity that you might find here. If you've never role-played before, perhaps give it a shot. If you are here to chat/hangout and meet people, don't be surprised and shocked if someone hits on you for role-playing or sex.

Because sometimes, that's the point--finding someone with a working brain for a little fun, after all. I do wish some of the members would take a polite "Thanks, but no" reply some nights, but...that's far from uncommon anywhere.

INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION:
sSo often in second life conversation in local chat takes on juvenile tones. Here at [the group] we encourage everyone to gather around the fireplace and begin thoughtful conversations about life, love, and more.

Intelligent people are able to disagree without making it (or taking it) personal. Please be respectful and use common sense in your conversations.

That's the key phrase right there, I think, "be respectful and use common sense". People were not using common sense, or being respectful, both on the grounds and in group chat, when recent political events came up. So the sim owner banned the topic.

According to these official rules, then, "be respectful and use common sense" is the only official guideline, but paired with the new notice of no political debates or discussion, that pretty much means everything ELSE is allowable, so frankly...some of the group members, I think, are being overly precious with their exception-seeking behaviors.

But it will all work out. They'll either figure out the rules, or leave the group. It's the way of all things.

go and find another adventure, c'mon let's go

The new art exhibit by Bryn Oh and Cica Ghost is called White Veil, and I'm not sure if it's completely open yet? But Bryn had been asking interesting parties to test the mechanics, so that's what I'm here to do.



So let's begin here, with the single biggest hazard of the exhibit, both literally and by size. The first obstacle to understanding is an obstacle--or, more importantly, a set of obstacles that roll down the hill. Several round balls in white, of varying sizes...and this big boy.



When they hit the avatar, the avatar goes *poof* back to the beginning of the course, base of the mountain. This is INCREDIBLY frustrating. This entry, in fact, features shots from my third attempt up the hill. But there is a slim, a very narrow, up side: these little blue discs. Step on one, the avatar is "protected"...but it's a very restricted protection.



In short: each disc offers about ten seconds or so of being trapped in a bubble in which we can't move, can't roll to the side, can't roll off the disc--but which can be struck by the orbs rolling downhill, and knocked around, popped into the air, whatever. Which...is also incredibly frustrating, because sometimes, they decide to *poof* when we're right in front of that big boulder. And *whomp*, back to the beginning.

And then...several days went by during which I didn't return, though I planned to, because I still want to see the rest of it. But, sometime during the planning-and-not-doing, I got invited to the actual opening of the installation.



Meet random person I saw there. This outfit was incredible--in person, it shimmered, glistened, and it was also far more sheer standing next to her. She was stunning. Wish I knew who she was.



We had all gathered for the second part of the opening events, having started with a live musical concert. That's Rosedrop Rust on the big chair in this shot--he was one of the spoken-word poets that performed during the second half. I am so glad I was able to go, and listen to poems of tentative hope and light, and slow renewal, because this event I'm talking about, for the last two images? That was January 21st.

But...walking the exhibit itself? That is still unfinished. I have not made it to the tower. I do not know what lies at the top. I will return, though I have no idea when this exhibit closes. So there will be at least one more entry covering White Veil.

it's funny how a word might save your life, and I'm saying a lot right now

Why do we believe in conspiracy theories? Atlas Obscura believes it has something to do with missing enchantment.

From another service, because it's true:

[10:51 AM] Emilly:

"Guys I think that maybe your government might be corrupt." @Lxxxxxx

*cackles insanely for a moment*
[10:51 AM] Emilly: Oh, YOU THINK??

Meanwhile...

[21:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) stares at the pipe organ and sighs. "I married a man devoted to strange angles."

Pretty much, apparently.

SO! Point of this. I am wandering. Several several centuries ago, back when we had wood-burning cats, I went to the last dance at the Bashful Peacock. I took extensive pictures. I took extensive notes. And then....the world exploded, and Em's driver ended up getting a new computer, but forgot to pull the secondary drive out of the old one, so she has eight of the nine pictures on the new drive, NOT the full nine, and...no notes.

AND EM IS TIRED OF WAITING, so...here we go.



For anyone who doesn't know, the Peacock was Caledon's premier accepting space in Caledon. Owned by Rudolfo Woodget, one of the kindest souls on the grid, it threw its doors--and its lawns--open to anyone, without reservation. Whether or not that person was in a Boston marriage themselves, so to speak, or not.



I had to dig way back in the archives to find the picture I was thinking of, which I'm still not convinced is my first coverage of the place, but that dates back to this entry from 2008. 2008! That's how established the Bashful Peacock is!



Or was, but we'll get to that. This is Mr. Woodget, by the way, for those who may not know. He was dedicated to having a Caledonian safe space for dances, gentle teas, small gatherings. And it truly did not matter to him who attended--gay, straight, smooth-skinned or fur, Tiny or Big...he was happy to see everyone, as long as they didn't cause problems.



I used to be in near-weekly attendance, because I loved the space and I loved the people. One of Radio Riel's best DJs, Otenth Paderborn, would spin there frequently, and this last time, he was back in style.



I had notes on who the little penguin was. Gone now. She was adorable, though.

I don't know why I stopped going to events. I had been a near-regular, had even hosted RR dances there, way back when. I think, losing my own bit of Morgaine, wandering into more modern spaces, I detached a bit too much, from friends and casual acquaintances alike. It was one of many places I thought was just better off that I not return to, so as to avoid any potential disturbance.



I wanted a couple wide-angle shots not only to show the layout, but to point out who was there, and of course I have no idea now. I do remember Duchess Gabrielle Riel was there, with her consort, and a genial mix of faces new to me and not new. Because this wasn't just a farewell to the Peacock, after all; it was a farewell to Wellsian. This was just before both Wellsian and Morgaine disappeared into the Caledonian mists.



And Wellsian really was a very pretty sim, especially near the Peacock. Butting up against Morgaine as it did, both shared a VERY high mountain range, but past that, Wellsian was gentle slopes and cavorting wildlife and pretty little houses and charm. Charm for days.



It and Morgaine will be missed, by several of us, for quite some time. All things change, I know that, but it was a change many of us sincerely didn't want. Though we had no power to alter it.

And while at the time Mr. Woodget said he would be bringing the Peacock back, in some form, no one's yet heard. So these pictures are to commemorate one of the greatest cozy spaces on the grid, and the gentle soul who ran it, and I do sincerely hope he decides to run something similar again.

tell the bed not to lay like the open mouth of a grave

(Note from the Editrix: Because these are mounting, sadly, I'm going to start generally indicating when they were written, as opposed to published. This one is from the 18th of July.)

(Additional: And why yes, I am making them march a bit with two entries a day. Too much waiting. Too much backlog. Let's go, already.)



express yourself, don't repress yourself
express yourself, don't repress yourself
express yourself, don't repress yourself

I admit, the blog notwithstanding, I have never been the poster girl for self-expression. I'm mostly the Before picture. But personal growth demands, and all that, and I have gotten better over the years. Because communication is vital. Far too many people ignore it, at their peril, and it always, always, trips me up when I forget how vital it is.


and I'm not sorry (I'm not sorry)
it's human nature (it's human nature)
and I'm not sorry (I'm not sorry)
I'm not your [b*tch], don't hang your [sh*t] on me (it's human nature)

Judgement can be just as damaging. Pick an area of American culture, I can virtually guarantee it's been distorted by the heavy anchor weight of Puritanical or Judeo-Christian beliefs. What (may have) worked then profoundly does not work now, and as Bobcat Goldthwait once famously said regarding the Constitution--"It's just a piece of paper, it can be changed!"



you wouldn't let me say the words I longed to say
you didn't want to see life through my eyes
(express yourself, don't repress yourself)
you tried to shove me back inside your narrow room
and silence me with bitterness and lies
(express yourself, don't repress yourself)

And I've dealt in all worlds with people who refuse to understand, out of fear, anxiety, personal dread, or peer pressure. You shouldn't charge. You shouldn't be non-monogamous. You shouldn't have an open marriage. You shouldn't have tattoos. The list can, and does, go on. I think worst are the ones who attack my practices, not because they think their own are that much better, but because they're deeply, bitingly jealous of my freedoms compared with the narrow, restrictive lives they've chosen.



did I say something wrong?
oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex (I musta been crazy)
did I stay too long?
oops, I didn't know I couldn't speak my mind (what was I thinking?)

And there are places in this world, even in the US, where women are told repeatedly their place is to shut up and be a support structure for men. It famously happened on the national stage recently, when our current president, upset over judgments that had gone against him, railed at a press conference against the female Supreme Court Justices, saying that their place was not to speak loudly and make a fuss, but to sit down and shut up.

No one, except perhaps Kavanaugh, got to the Supreme Court because they weren't fiercely intelligent and skilled. Liberal, centrist, conservative, doesn't matter--and that's how the system is designed. We want the finest legal minds being the ultimate arbiters of justice, because that way we know it's being (mostly) applied fairly, (reasonably) impartially, and with no regard for personal agendas.

At least, that was the plan originally...



you punished me for telling you my fantasies
I'm breakin' all the rules I didn't make
(express yourself, don't repress yourself)
you took my words and made a trap for silly fools
you held me down and tried to make me break
(express yourself, don't repress yourself)

Wow, there are still StarGates around? Do they still work?

It's difficult for us to obey rules we don't know exist. How are we supposed to behave if no one informs us there are rules of behavior? But more important, how are we supposed to behave if our ethics conflict with someone else? Couple former friends of mine come to mind with the application of the Golden Rule, for instance--because if they treated everyone how they most desired to be treated, everyone would have a lot more rope burns, and in one case, a lot more scars. Not everyone wants that.



did I say something true?
oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex (I musta been crazy)
did I have a point of view?
oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about you (what was I thinking?)

At one point in one of my relationships, there were taboo topics, and it became difficult to communicate at all at certain points because so much was forbidden. Now, sometimes there are irreconcilable differences--I believe one thing, someone else believes another, and we cannot come to a decent compromise between the two positions. Fine. In that case, it generally comes down to 'Well, I disagree, but we'll table that for now."

But when it's hard to talk at all without brushing against one of those trigger beliefs, there are bigger problems in the relationship than simple communication.



and I'm not sorry (I'm not apologizing)
it's human nature (would it sound better if I were a man?)
and I'm not sorry (you're the one with the problem)
I'm not your [b*tch], don't hang your [sh*t] on me (why don't you just deal with it?)

And ultimately, that is the question, isn't it? So many people--mostly in the US, but I've also noticed this worldwide--would prefer to sacrifice freedom and personal responsibility for rules and bureaucratic control. Some people never grew up in homes that taught them how to stand behind their words, their actions, and so they grow to adulthood, have kids of their own, and the cycle of mistrust, fear, and anxiety perpetuates.



and I'm not sorry (would you like me better if I was?)
it's human nature (we all feel the same way)
and I'm not sorry (I have no regrets)
I'm not your [b*tch], don't hang your [sh*t] on me (just look in the mirror)

That's never been my issue, I have all the regrets, steeped in them over time. Small ones, large ones, small stabbing pains of memory's knife twisting on the recall...but...I lived through all of them. And for all I look back far more than I should, all of that got me here. Good or bad, it's what makes me...me. My flaws, my scars, my regrets, my successes, my understanding (such that it is at times)...all of it was foundational in who I am now.

This is not to say I celebrate my regrets. I wish often I had less of them, and not just that less had happened, but that they ate at my soul less. Hindsight is 20/20, after all, and sometimes, my outlook makes my past excruciatingly clear.



and I'm not sorry (I don't have to justify anything)
it's human nature (I'm just like you)
and I'm not sorry (wy should I be?)
I'm not your [b*tch], don't hang your [sh*t] on me (deal with it)

But I try to take responsibility where I can. I try to accept I make mistakes, and acknowledge them. I apologize when I need to, because the very worst thing, ever, is to say "I'm sorry you were upset" over "I'm sorry this happened". Or even simply, "I'm sorry." The first is dodging responsibility on a major scale, and blaming the other party.

Never do that. Because, if we can't take responsibility for our actions, good or bad, we're still children. And the whole point of growing up is to accept that adults have responsibilities, as well as freedoms, and to behave accordingly.

(Pictures taken at Satyr's Covert [owner was on when I traipsed through; while it is a fantasy sim, he says it's open, all are welcome to wander. He did recommend I take off my heels, so I did], Vana, Dawson Forest, the Secret Garden in Uba, Satori and Catena et Cavea. Lyrics from Madonna's Human Nature, which still has a fairly goofy video, but a great message above and beyond.)

come on, give me a reason, baby, anything will do

[14:45] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It continues to baffle me that people are planning a future where we have live in constant fear of disease.
[14:48] Emilly Orr: See, I don't think it's a constant fear of disease. I think it's reasonable precautions right now. The paranoia will ebb. I'll probably hang onto masks for a while, because we now have some snazzy ones.
[14:49] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: I'm not sure..
[14:49] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It really seems like this stuff is being planned for the long haul
[14:50] Emilly Orr: Right, but....see it this way. Right now, there's no vaccine.
[14:51] Emilly Orr: Right now it's a disease that someone can carry symptom-free, and pass it on to people, and those people will die.
[14:51] Emilly Orr: And not just 'the elderly', not just the infirm, but everyone--babies, toddlers, kids, teens, young adults, old adults. Everyone.
[14:52] Emilly Orr: Right now we have a significant portion of society who values the ability to 'do what they want' over saving other human lives.
[14:53] Emilly Orr: So, this is our reality. We can embrace the Republican death cult and go on about our daily business, and either get it ourselves or pass it to others, or...we can continue social distancing, conservatively reopen, wear masks, and remain aware.
[14:53] Emilly Orr: I know which side I'm on.
[14:53] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: There may never be a vaccine.
[14:54] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: There will likely not be a vaccine that works 100 percent of the time.
[14:54] Emilly Orr: True.
[14:54] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: There might not be a vaccine until next year.
[14:54] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: hypothetically, there isn't.
[14:55] Emilly Orr: That's perfectly possible.
[14:55] Emilly Orr: Even likely.
[14:55] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: you reopen conservatively.
[14:55] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: people die again.
[14:55] Emilly Orr: Which is what's happening. Both the opening and the dying.
[14:55] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: sure
[14:55] Emilly Orr: The second wave is already starting to strain hospitals in larger cities.
[14:55] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: And this is with people social distancing.
[14:55] Emilly Orr nods.
[14:56] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: So, we basically see no result from the social distancing.
[14:56] Emilly Orr: Yeah. It's a really lethal mutation.
[14:56] Emilly Orr: No, not entirely true.
[14:56] Emilly Orr: In a lot of areas--the areas that had a large population of citizens actually paying attention to the guidelines--cases DID drop. Deaths dropped.
[14:56] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: You don't have a proper set of data to say how much social distancing helped.
[14:56] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: But they didn't drop, you're saying. They're going up.
[14:57] Emilly Orr: No, right now it's all empirical. At the end of the day, no one knows everything, we're all just guessing.
[14:58] Emilly Orr: I mean, hells, we don't even know for sure how this thing STARTED--the prevailing theory was the wet market in Wuhan, but when a plane-load of epidemiologists went to Wuhan and started blood and history testing, they discovered something shocking--Wuhan was the SECOND infection site.
[14:58] Emilly Orr: it didn't start there.
[14:58] Emilly Orr: So they're now scrambling to trace it back farther, because that's kind of huge.
[15:05] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: I'm not really sure I trust anything coming out of china. That's including visiting scientists
[15:06] Emilly Orr: Unfortunately, that's fair, because they didn't want the world to know at first until they could spin it to their advantage. Same thing Russia's doing now--they went pretty quick from 'We have no cases' to "Surprisingly, we have over 8,000 cases, but we're on top of it'. Which tells me that 8K figure might be low too.

Right now, I don't think of this as overly political. I think of this as just common sense, health information. The next part of the conversation does veer heavily into politics, so feel free to skip.

[15:07] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: more on the disbanding of the police...
[15:07] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: tangentially..
[15:07] Emilly Orr nods.
[15:07] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: the thought just occurred..would most people trust their neighbor, so to speak, to be in charge of law enforcement?
[15:07] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Considering the...diversity of opinions we see on how law should be enforced.
[15:08] Emilly Orr: I would say no. Unless you're living in a small enough location where you know your neighbors well.
[15:08] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: I can't see anything other than another security force replacing it.
[15:08] Emilly Orr nods.
[15:09] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: And this one may be blatantly politically driven
[15:09] Emilly Orr: Which leaves us pretty much where we are, with new added resentments.
[15:09] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: yes
[15:09] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: for the people on the losing end of the argument on "who gets to police now"
[15:10] Emilly Orr: But, I also don't see this resolving with just everyone going home and continuing to quietly grumble. Things are happening that are not just shocking US citizens, but the world stage. No one saw, in 2020, that an American president would pretty much seize control of the White House and a significant portion of real estate around it, and put up walls against his own citizens.
[15:11] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Yes, but it doesn't have to be disband the police department or you want to string people up by the old oak tree
[15:12] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: I think we can get to a middle ground
[15:12] Emilly Orr: I hope so.
[15:13] Emilly Orr: I think it's going to take more death, more pain, more suffering, before we reach equilibrium.
[15:15] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: the systems are in place to be successful
[15:16] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: One just has to reach out and take it.
[15:16] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: There are a lot of protections built into the foundation of the law..that if we started abiding by them properly...
[15:17] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: we would really be in good shape.
[15:18] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: so much abuse..and outright dismissal of those protections, in the name of order...or..in the name of keeping some people from participating, though.
[15:18] Emilly Orr: True.
[15:18] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It's like seeing a big house of gold.
[15:18] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: But there's a Balrog with a bad temper at the front door.
[15:19] Emilly Orr: But, see, how do you see that? If you're a traditional murder-hobo adventurer, you kill the balrog. Simple.
[15:19] Emilly Orr: If you're a balrog, the balrog's just doing what he has to, man.
[15:20] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: true..
[15:21] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It's sad, though.
[15:21] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: There are big issues here
[15:21] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: But...if you look at police forces, and practices, in other countries...
[15:21] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It's just as bad, and even worse in some cases because you don't even have the pretense of constitutional protections.
[15:22] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: 1st world places with utterly draconian criminal justice systems.
[15:22] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It always makes me hope I never commit a crime in japan when I read about how they do it.
[15:22] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Which...I guess is the point
[15:23] Emilly Orr: Oh, yeah, prison being as vile as it is is a GREAT deterrent to a life of crime. Not that I wanted one anyway? But I have made it a dedicated life choice never to go to jail.
[15:24] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: nods
[15:25] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: It's not just the prison though, their prosecutorial abuse is legendary
[15:25] Emilly Orr nods
[15:25] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: And they don't need to charge you to hold you
[15:28] Emilly Orr: Which is another problematic thing that changed with the Homeland Security act.
[15:29] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: I mean in japan
[15:30] Emilly Orr: Ah
[15:30] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: they actually still do need to charge you, to hold you past a certain time, generally
[15:30] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: The rules are just different in cases of 'terrorism'
[15:30] Emilly Orr: But it is beyond easy to declare anyone a terrorist
[15:30] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: But any good lawyer would probably be able to get you out
[15:31] Emilly Orr: And, there's no longer any need to notify people of police searches--they can just declare federal interest and go in without the homeowner ever being present, or knowing at all.
[15:30] Emilly Orr: Ah

Now, recently Louisville, Kentucky, banned no-knock warrants, the type of warrant that was part of what led to Breonna Tayler being shot (the other part of that situation was the cops having the wrong house, the wrong name of the suspect, and NO one bothered to do even a five-minute search) The flip side of that is, no one who actually broke into Breonna's house and shot her has been charged with anything, and they need to be.

I still think there's a better way through all this, though. At least, than the way the US handled it. But what do I know, I'm not holding an elected office for a political party that's trying to get people killed. Maybe my perspective is different.

(Oh, and...



...because, y'know, the day.)

dynasty decapitated, you just might see a ghost tonight

Another link post, but I think some fun links to edify and amuse.

First, we know of the purported Victorian "flower code", for which there is a plethora of contradicting information, but what about Victorian book flirtation? I didn't even know this was a thing, and as the article explains, current scholarship says it likely wasn't? But the concept is entertaining, for all it makes my inner librarian cringe at the thought of biting books.

Next, apparently there were exercise manuals for Victorian ladies, but very few of them advised strenuous exercise, just very mild stretching movements. What I find fascinating is that many dances of the time were good cardiovascular exercise, and womens' fencing clubs required strength and agility, and that required an elevated heart rate. So on the one hand, women weren't supposed to exercise, because men felt it was bad for their delicate bodies, while on the other, they were required to exercise, so they'd have the stamina to fence, dance, ride, and other supposedly strenuous activities. Odd.

And finally, though it comes with a mild warning for language, portable toilets used to be shaped like books. Why? When did it start? How did I not know this sooner?

There is a lot going on in this article covering a debate between Sam Harris and Ben Shapiro. Neither are particularly admirable people, and both of them get things wrong in the debate, but I'm linking the article because it looks deeply at the many presuppositions of our 'modern' belief set in Galileo having been tortured for his scientific knowledge. Which, we know now, is simply not the case. Yet men who went to college and proudly list their degrees in their introductions still get this fundametal fact wron. Why? Why do they never go back and verify that what they're saying is accurate? Especially if they've been that wrong, that many times.

Second Life's in the news again, and this time around, it's not a huge scandal. It actually is fairly complimentary. Yay for that.

through my window. I can see the world from there

Dropped sidewise into an extended conversation elsewhere was this little gem--a minor ton of Finnish silent films that have been subtitled into English. So, if you're a speaker of English OR Finnish, you're covered. And even if you speak neither, it will likely be enjoyable. So enjoy.

Meanwhile, why does Disqus think I'm Slovakian?

Ahoj emilly,

Nedávno sme od vás obdržali požiadavku o obnovu hesla. Prosím nasledujte tento link : {{link omitted on the off chance it's spam}}
(V prípade, že kliknutie na odkaz nefunguje, skúste ho skopírovať a vložiť do vášho prehliadača.)

V prípade, že ste nepožiadali o obnovu hesla, považujte toto hlásenie za nepodstatné. Platnosť tohto linku automaticky vyprší za 72 hodín.

This (roughly) translates to:

Hi emilly,

We recently received a password reset request from you. Please follow this link: {{again omitted}}
(If clicking the link doesn't work, try copying and pasting it into your browser.)

If you did not request a password reset, please disregard this message. This line will automatically expire in 72 hours.

Since I didn't request one, and wouldn't have because I haven't commented on a Disqus-engine blog post in a good six months, easily, I'm just going to ignore it. Because even if it does seem to be a notice sent directly from Disqus itself, it could be spoofed, and I'd have no way to know for sure. But why Slovakian? I'm nearly nine thousand kilometers from there. It's baffling.

Heir of meanwhile...

[23:17] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: i am reading about books being taken off the curriculum in an alaska school. And...while it is stupid..I am not sure how that is a book ban. The story even notes that the books are still available..
[23:17] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Just not going to be taught as part of the curriculum.
[23:17] Emilly Orr: What sort of books are they?
[23:17] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: classics..
[23:18] Emilly Orr: If they're standard textbooks, that are available elsewhere, what are they being replaced with?
[23:18] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: great gatsby..etc
[23:18] Emilly Orr: Hmm. So no longer teaching the classics of American (and some British) literature, because...?
[23:19] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: i am just not seeing a book ban here..no one seems to be saying you can't read them..just that they won't be on the curriculum.
[23:19] Emilly Orr: No, in fact, they seem to be saying that if a student or parent requests it, they will buy the book requested so the student can read it.
[23:20] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: well..that is Portugal the Man.
[23:20] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: A cool move
[23:20] Emilly Orr: That's not a ban, that's more of a...civilized restriction. The school saying, we realize these issues are harmful un society, but we don't want to be the ones insisting everyone reads about incest, rape and murder.
[23:20] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Yes
[23:21] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: I don't agree with it , but..it isn't prelude to book burning.
[23:21] Emilly Orr nods
[23:21] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Catch 22 is a wonderful book.
[23:21] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: The great Gatsby, too
[23:21] Emilly Orr: I don't agree with it either, but I would much rather have something like that, then a total ban that means any student caught with X book gets expelled.
[23:22] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: yea
[23:22] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: I feel like the people commenting..and the title of the article..didn't read the article
[23:22] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: or..just read the title..
[23:23] Emilly Orr: While I see a HUGE problem with not teaching teens about their bodies, so that they actually know enough to make decent informed choices about sex, there are other places to read books. Libraries. Bookstores. Online in some cases.
[23:24] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: yes.
[23:24] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: And..i maintain it is the role of the parents.
[23:24] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Not old ms mcgillicudy putting a condom on a zucchini
[23:26] Emilly Orr: I'd agree, but...the problem is, the rise of that certain stripe of fundamentalism that says, if we remove knowledge from children, they will remain innocent and never engage with sex, drugs, acting out, foul language--that is an entire branch of religion essentially going LA LA LA YOU'RE WRONG THEY'RE PERFECT ANGELS LA LA LA LA
[23:26] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Still.
[23:26] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: their children
[23:27] Emilly Orr: So...if you have parents that understand that kids will get hormonal, and are kind of dense at times, and is willing to honestly explain things, great. But if your parents are more the "abstinence is the only solution", then...you're going to get pregnant kids and young fathers and the next generation with STDs, because no one just talked with them.
[23:27] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Theirs to lose.
[23:27] Emilly Orr: I guess. It just seems like such a waste.
[23:27] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Yes.
[23:27] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: But..that is life, sometimes
[23:27] Emilly Orr nods.
[23:28] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Unless we want to just say we know better, so parents should shut up
[23:28] Emilly Orr: Marion Zimmer Bradley said it best: "The world goes as it will, and not as you or I would have it."
[23:28] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: i....would not trust her on child rearing..
[23:28] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: or anything..
[23:28] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: she abused her kids
[23:28] Emilly Orr: Amusingly, she raised...what was it, six? Of course, not all of them were hers.

I know two were related to her, the rest sort of cycled in and out of the house.

[23:28] Emilly Orr nods
[23:29] Emilly Orr: So often, people we admire for other reasons are problematic in the main.
[23:29] Emilly Orr: It's a struggle.
[23:30] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: Well...when it veers into criminality..there is an issue.
[23:30] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: A world of difference between being an asshole and diddling your kids.
[23:30] Emilly Orr: I think of it as the John Denver effect. Brilliant songwriter. Great voice. Very talented musician. Beat his wife.
[23:30] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: yea.
[23:31] Emilly Orr: So...yes, the songs are timeless, and beautiful, but...the other side of that is criminally bad.
[23:31] Mxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx nods

There are no answers. Sometimes, there never are with conversations on these topics. But it's good that the school is providing the option to get the 'banned' books into student hands. That's something, at least.