lying awake and everything has changed

So let's talk Bsukmet Stormcrow. I knew nothing about them, I just saw the notice go out for the group a couple weeks ago, so I went.



This was the notice:

⊱♬⊰Elctronicals⊱♬⊰

█▓▒░ ᴡʜᴏ : ⊱♬⊰Bsukmet

█▓▒░ ᴡʜᴇɴ ⊱♬⊰ Thursday 12 PM - 1 SLT
█▓▒░ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ⊱♬⊰Hannah's Lodge
Your Taxi:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Quandisha/232/49/3003
█▓▒░

So, I went. I'd been in a very disagreeable mood, that a love had delicately peeled away, and I felt open to new experiences. I'd never heard of them, but thought, I like Hannah's, I like electronica, let's go see.



They're AMAZING. Don't believe me? Listen. Or go wander their Soundcloud. It will be worth your time, if you like synthesized sounds.



I'm also wondering if their look is influenced by Steam Powered Giraffe's Rabbit, but even if it's not, it's cool as hell. I've never seen anyone quite like them in SL, and considering I've been pretty much perpetually on the grid for fourteen years? That says something.



And look--this may not seem like a bunch of people, but keep in mind Hannah's is about the size (and layout) of a typical English village pub. It's a dime-size dance floor, and it was packed--I took this picture towards the end of the set, after some folks had left, even.

Did we have some lag issues? Yeah. Did we have some difficulty rezzing things in? Yeah, absolutely. Was it worth it to hear Bsukhmet? YES in every way. If you ever get the chance, and you have any liking for electronica and ambient, well done--GO. You won't regret it.

say goodbye, it'll make me wanna kiss you

So, Violet Scrivener is picking up a lot of interesting gigs in some very interesting places. One of those was one I hadn't managed to make yet, last Sunday, but I finally had time, so...I went to J and R's Ballroom.



First of all, the place is stunning. I mean seriously stunning--all gilded columns, Art Nouveau paintings, Art Deco glasswork and marbled floors. Really well done.



This is the bar, just to the right of the entrance, around the curve of the dome.



The other side of the dome, with the dance balls, the cloud to click for animesh dance partners, and the tip jar (the gold rotating clef).



I do want to make it clear that I did not dress for the venue, because this was the first time I'd been here. But I dressed in teal to go dancing, and the ballroom was dressed in teal to meet me. Wild.



The Art Deco chandelier, or light fixture, or whatever it's formally called, at the top of the dome.



A painted marble urn stuffed with peacock feathers. Lovely.



In fact, the only downside (barring the fact that whomever picked out their dances needs to update to this century, because they're all vintage, and most seem like they were put together before mocap technology)? That the slow rezzing issues that seem grid-wide currently result in some very...odd...visual disturbances.

Case in point, the wonderful fellow who danced with me at the ball. Charming gentleman, agile on the dance floor...never stopped nomming his brain. Disquieting, but not a deal-breaker.

I do intend to go back, though. Dorky dances and all. It's a fun place.

if you build your house, then, please, call me home

I had been invited to return months ago, to see the new sim improvements. And for a variety of reasons, life has been utterly chaotic since. But today, it was time. Today, I went back.



I arrived in Thorvaldshavn's Sacred Grove, and it was a very peaceful space. I stood on holy ground while the land rezzed in around me.



Some of the buildings still looked familiar.



Thor's done an amazing job with the landscaping, though. It is both different, and familiar, and feels very...real. Possibly even more real than the first iteration.

As if I were actually standing, somewhere in Norway, long, long ago...



He's also put in an amazing amount of lovely water features.



Looks like he kept some of the harvestable trees and farm animals...



And this is just a gorgeous set piece of carved stones and arching trees.



...and stripper poles in the feasting hall. Oh, Thor, things were going so well.

Still, his sim, his rules. It's still gorgeous. And it's not like I'm going to move back there, but visiting now and again? That I can do. There are more Gorean touches, too, which I'm not overly fond of, but...I don't spend a ton of time there. And maybe the people who do live in Thorvaldshavn on the daily do want more Gorean touches. Who knows?

All I know is, the rebuild is very, very pretty, and the port system now doesn't just lead to the farmlands, but to Aelfheim, Neverwinter, the Jarl's hall, what looks for all the world like a hobbit village...so there's a lot going on, here, for both the fantasy roleplayer and the historical recreationist.

As long as you can deal with neon stripper poles in a medieval Viking sim, I mean. But hey, maybe people can.

I gotta mind of my own, I'll be alright alone, don't need anybody else

How about Breath of Nature?



Have I been here too? Or do I just recognize that heart-shaped swing?



I think I have another version of this same piano, only summerized.

Or maybe not--mine has poses, this one doesn't seem to.



I am in love with the colors here, though.



And all those pretty colors with late-harvest sunflowers? Awesome.



For all that this isn't a huge, sprawling sim/sims, I could see myself visiting this one more than once. It's very calming, and gorgeous, well done, very natural feeling. And again, lots of places to cuddle, which is never bad.

and every day there's a little less difference between the two

Slightly grumpy that holiday sims are already up and running, I went on a search for ones still in autumn mode. I found one--Malal Autumn Fall.



Where it's also raining.



Was I here before? It looks very familar.



This doesn't, but that doesn't necessarily indicate I'm wrong about having traveled here in the past...



It's pretty, though. I give it full marks for pretty.

Maybe what I need is something less sprawling, more intimate, less...rainy. How about the Autumn Cafe?



Tiny little parcel. Little coffeeshop in a caravan, a cuddle pod, and a stand of encircling birch. Not terrible.



Small inside the cafe, by design, but still. Room enough for some (limited) seating, a small counter, some espresso machines and baked goods. All you'd need, really.



Still. Coffee inside, cuddles outside, crisp fall day...what more does anyone really need?

because with that look I know so well I fall completely under your spell

The sim was called The Apartments. The blurb was just as strange:

"Hallways, endless rain and cats
lots and lots of cats."

Right. Let's go see.



Well, I see the cats. I also see the rain.



And apparently occasional catfights.



What the hell is that outside??



The cats don't like it either.



There's a lot of Blade Runner feel to this sim. Blade Runner, Fifth Element, techno-noir designs, some actual brand names used, some mock brand names. It definitely presents a defined look. Not just cyberpunk, but that specific, the-air-is-water, we-never-see-true-sunlight setting.



All in all, if anyone needs a vaguely futuristic urban setting for photographs or roleplay, this may be ideal? It's a mildly interesting wander, if nothing else, with the rain pouring steadily outside, the occasional meows heard, and the mazelike narrow warren of interconnecting hallways of a multiple-unit, multiple-floor, multiple-block apartment building.

Go see if you're curious. Bring catnip.

lose the halo, don't need to resist

Today, I wandered Seaclaid in my spare time. It was the first sim mentioned under Destinations that wasn't snowed in or already decorated for the holidays. It's only the first of November, I am not ready for the holidays.

[20:55] Dxxxxx Axxxxx: You're back

Who's back? I couldn't see the speaker. Maybe they were up on the bridge?

I wandered down the cobblestones to get a closer look.



I looked around, but didn't see anyone, so continued wandering. I will give it to whomever designed this sim, it is pretty.



This build does get around. In fact, I just discovered that the Duke traipsed by Death Row Designs and picked the magic shoppe pack up. And he's thinking of going back for the voodoo shop.

Which I suppose makes sense--we did like the voodoo shop we were renting, we just couldn't stay there. So why not bring there to us?

[20:56] Dxxxxx Axxxxx: Welcome
[20:57] Dxxxxx Axxxxx: Feel free to explore

I mean, thanks? But I still didn't see the speaker. Where were they??

The blurb for the sim said they were a roleplay sim, but...for what? I couldn't even figure out the specific era from the layout, because most of the builds could fit in between 1890 and 1960. That's kind of a huge gap. And then there was the greeter--did I just walk past them? Or did they have a PA system? It was confusing.



The church was a wee bit oversized. It's closer to an old-style cathedral than a small village chapel, which again confuses--what roleplay involves twentieth-century architecture, fishing boats, bubble-blowing crabs and Louisiana wrought iron?



Another DRD build, I believe one of the rares from one of the haunted mansion gachas, but beautifully textured, and it fit so well with the mix of overgrown roses and pines leading down to the shore. If nothing else, bring your camera and your favorite poses, becuase it's chock full of photographic locations.



At least they have coffee?

help me get away from myself

(Note from the Editrix: obviously, now, this is one of the entries that was written before the one posted on the 21st. Just FYI.)



when I get home from my job I turn on my TV
but I can't keep my mind on the show
when I lay down at night, oh I can't get no sleep
so I turn on my radio--

Another night, another frantic search for things to distract. It's becoming a habit. Not sure if it's a good one, yet, or if it's just what I've got right now.



but the only sound I hear is you whisperin' in my ear
the words that you used to say--

Yeah, I'm obsessing. Every time I think I'm out of the spin cycle and back on even ground...And the dreams are just getting worse. Or better. Not sure which, honestly... Only that they're making me want to itch out of my skin.



now my days grow longer
'cause my love grows stronger
and the fever gets worse
and I've got the fever for this guy

It's not...precisely love, is the issue. It's more...trying to think through hormones. And I must be putting out some very odd ones, because the same thing that's keeping the casuals away when I wander through 'girls in danger' sims are pulling other guys out of the trees with offers. I'm so confused.



got the fever, oh I've got the fever
nothing that a poor girl can do

And no, it hasn't escaped my attention that the offers I'm trying for, I'm not getting, where the offers I hadn't anticipated at all are the ones drifting past my startled gaze.



when she's got the fever for this guy
got the fever, oh, I've got the fever
left this little girl blue

Especially the last one, the fellow who spent over an hour talking with me out of the blue. No, I'm not saying which one. Though yes, he has come up on the blog. (That is not a small list, which is why I feel relatively safe mentioning it.) Let's just say it's not someone I ever expected to get an offer from again...

And...it's not helping...because right now, I could so see giving in, just out of general--frustration? Need? Psychosis? All three?--and...that might be very bad.



I can remember comin' home, I see you standin' at the stove
with the dishes on the table, dinner ready to go
we'll maybe go out to a movie show
something that you like to see

I think it was at this point I just gave up for the night and put panties back on. Why yes, I have reached that stage. Joy and rapture. I swear, the next week I'm going to wear full Victorian morning dresses with all the under-layers, a veil, and button-up boots that take half an hour of persistence and a buttonhook to get out of again. Or find something else to do that takes the bulk of my brain power. Try to learn Russian again. Or quantum physics. Something, anything, that is less damaging to my self-esteem and general sense of self.



well, now, you are my sun in the morning
and my moon at night
I think about you baby, I feel all right
now my days grow longer
'cause my love grows stronger
and the fever gets worse--

On the one hand, I've finally broken free of the Matchbox Twenty obsession, but now I've just got this playlist on repeat. I keep adding songs to it, too, whenever I remember one that made my breath catch.

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW, RIGHT??

(Insert from the Editrix: That list now has a few 'this is hell' songs mixed in, and I refuse to apologize for those. They're all meaningful for where I am, and it's my playlist, so that's that.)



got the fever, oh I've got the fever
nothing that a poor girl can do
when she's got the fever for this guy
got the fever, oh, I've got the fever
left this little girl blue

I'll come up with something. I have to come up with something, because I'm going out of my mind. Gods, you'd think someone had noticed all this sensuality and desire pointed towards one person and decided to cut that person off from me. Go figure.

But there has to be a way out. I am not a ferret, I do not die from lack of sex. Or touch. I can do this. People do this every day.

(Of course the ultimate irony in all this is--my current employment is somewhat tailor-made for the solution, save for...no, for a variety of odd reasons. Maybe it's time to lower my standards.)

(Pictures taken at Avalon Park, Greystone Harbor, Kingdom of Agraba, Bay of Dreams, The Labyrinth and Mirage Motel 66. Lyrics from She's Got the Fever by the Pointer Sisters.)