all grown up and no place to go

So, minor bit of drama tonight, in an unexpected place.

[21:03] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Hey -- any security folk out there? We're over at [ place omitted, because I'm not sure if it's a private abode or a pub], and there's a dude who's making us a bit uncomfortable.
[21:03] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: This character: Hxxxx Fxxxxx

So of course I pulled his profile. The first thing I see:



I have, of course, edited for (some) discretion.

[21:04] Emilly Orr: Oh, the irony. This is the first line in his profile: "The easiest thing to abuse is the hardest to get back: trust"
[21:04] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Wondered about him
[21:05] Emilly Orr: TON of sex clubs for groups.

Don't get me wrong, and I do explain this later in the conversation, but as it is, it must be said--having sex clubs amongst one's groups is not automatically a dire thing. Having certain kinds of sex clubs...like 'sleepygirl' clubs, bimbo clubs, and free sex emporiums...well. Those don't point to exceptional character with the rest of it, when one is traveling in fantasy or neo-Victorian sims. (And Rosehaven happens to be both.)

[21:05] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yup
[21:05] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: exactly
[21:05] Emilly Orr: Not that that's a disqualifier, but it does predispose.
[21:05] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I can't eveb type the title he has...not decent

It's mentioned later in the discussion, also, but it happens to be a fairly well-known club in certain circles. (Note to anyone curious: Very NSFW, a dance and escort club, that caters to both furs and humans with a liking for furgirls and kawaii neko lasses.)

[21:05] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Agreed
[21:05] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: He hasn't answered attempts to IM him
[21:06] jxxxxxxxxx Dxxxxx: do you need an EM?
[21:06] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Perhaps he is just frozen
[21:06] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: What is an EM?
[21:06] Cxx Exxxx: I'm on now, [Jxx]
[21:07] jxxxxxxxxx Dxxxxx: okey doke, let me know if you need backup
[21:07] Cxx Exxxx: [Txxxxxx], should he be banned? I can do it from here.
[21:07] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Thanks, [Jxx]
[21:07] Emilly Orr: If you have asked him to stop whatever in main chat, and IMed him to stop whatever in IM and received nothing back, then yes, it is time to escalate.
[21:07] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Txxxxx] is coming in as well
[21:07] Emilly Orr: [Jxx]: Estate Manager. Just so you know.

In case Mr. D really didn't know.

[21:07] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: He hasn't done anything but stand there looking scary.
[21:08] jxxxxxxxxx Dxxxxx: [Jxx] knows. [Jxx] is. ;)

So obviously, my tip of identifying [Jxx] sounded like I was speaking to [Jxx]. Argh.

[21:08] Cxx Exxxx: So, the question is: "Is looking scary enough for banning?"

And you know, even in the strictest, theme-controlled sims, I think the answer would be no, but--in this instance, looking intimidating, with an offensive tag and a refusal to answer questions either in main chat or in IM? I think that answer changes to yes.

[21:08] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: He is gone

Ah, no muss, no fuss, just--gone? Well...Good?

[21:08] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Huh.
[21:09] Cxx Exxxx: Good enough.
[21:09] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: He might have read the messages and gotten the hint
[21:09] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Cxx], I am just a friend of Rosehaven. but his entire persona is ...objectionable. His profile is slimy. I am no prude, but Rosehaven is not a sex club. That is what most of his groups were. Sorrey, but I get very protective of Rosehaven and my friends.
[21:09] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Thanks, friends.
[21:09] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: What's up
[21:09] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'm in world now
[21:09] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Yeesh, what happened?
[21:09] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ... and not needed :)

Sometimes, alas, that is how it goes.

[21:10] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lolol
[21:10] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: However, we are grateful you came to our aid
[21:10] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Yes!! VERY grateful!
[21:10] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: You know that I have no special powers, right?
[21:10] Cxx Exxxx: Ok, [Txx], I'll ban him. [Hxxxx Fxxxxx], is that right?
[21:10] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Your hair!!!
[21:10] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Holy cow, I just noticed I'm up to 25 fps right now...
[21:11] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: His name was [Hxxxx Fxxxxx]. His profile tells so much, like ...YUCKIES
[21:11] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I do have good hair
[21:11] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lololol
[21:11] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: What was he doing?
[21:11] Emilly Orr: I do admire his taste in some of the music clubs.

Especially Mama's Pub (group link), though I think the other one I was thinking of is just one of his picks--for SN Rock and Blues, in Troppo.

[21:11] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: It was not what he was doing
[21:12] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Better question: Why did someone call me in?
[21:12] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Oh wow, his group list is certainly interesting...
[21:12] Cxx Exxxx: Done.
[21:12] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: He wasn't doing anything, yet we were all freaked out, and he wasn't answering IMs asking what he was doing
[21:12] Emilly Orr: It was mostly his tag, apparently, which was objectionable on its own, but I think it was a combination: offensive tag, scary appearance, mostly sex places in his group list.
[21:13] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Oh yeah, I stay far away from those folks...
[21:13] Emilly Orr: I'm amused because, scanning through my groups one finds a few that could be classified the same way, but also, I have more in the way of wordage, pics, FL bio presence....all we have for Mr. [Fxxxxx] is a naked beach pic. :)
[21:13] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Ever since I lived in 'Winterfell" back in 2011 and 2012 I have seen this place as a sanctuary. I get very protective of you all.

Oddly enough, many of us who knew Rosehaven back when it was Winterfell feel surprisingly protective of it.

[21:14] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: When they end up in my inbox it never ends well and I am never surprised.
[21:14] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I'm not going to judge, but I'll observe that group lists are what they are and Rosehaven is a very accepting place for people who might be seen as out of place elsewhere. I would be careful banning based on group membership, but I am not the Princess, nor has she imbued me with any ability to do so.
[21:15] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: True, [Txxxxx].
[21:15] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I was not there to see his behaviour though
[21:15] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I wonder what my group list says about me.
[21:16] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well we will all be on alert in the future haha now we are all checking up on out own profiles !!!
[21:17] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Looks like I like sales and being a fairy. Sounds about right.
[21:17] Emilly Orr: If I knew nothing at all about you, Ms. [Lxxxxx], I'd say, you like fantasy sims, neo-Victorian sims, helping out the community and shopping.
[21:17] Emilly Orr: Yes.
[21:17] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well, you've just described me to a T, my dear Miss Emily.
[21:18] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Lol

In one sense, yes, I will openly acknowledge it is very judgemental to decide someone's intent whom we haven't met, just by groups. But do understand: these days, sometimes there is so little other information, we must go by groups to get any idea of the mind behind the avatar. And remember, it wasn't just the groups on his list; it was also the refusal to speak and the attire that was so very out of theme.

[21:19] Emilly Orr: And if it helps anyone, to those of us who scan through groups, we know the difference between a gathering of like minds for sensual pleasures, and something like "AFK Wondersluts", where the point seems to be to log in, jump on some posed furnishing, and then leave.
[21:20] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ok, I am going to be crude. But the guy's tag was ...sorry I don't even like typing this was "the Purrfect [P*ssy]"
[21:20] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Great 1st impression, right?
[21:21] Emilly Orr: That's, err....actually a club, but I do understand the objection.
[21:21] Emilly Orr: Dancing catgirls with an anime look, mainly.
[21:21] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Sounds like a great gentleman to have tea with, but a tad inappropriate for this sim.
[21:22] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There is a 'Wet Willies' club too ...

Oh, there are so many groups, some genuinely objectionable, not just merely inappropriate. But that comes down to personal choice, too. One's actions can guide one's social perceptions, but only if one acts, yes? And this 'gentleman' did not.

[21:22] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: giggles at [Lxxxxx]
[21:22] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx grins at Tam
[21:23] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I went just to see - it was pretty ordinary ... so hard to judge sometimes
[21:23] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I may be quiet much of the time, but I think the world of all of you. I get very protective. of a community I respect.
[21:24] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Thanks [Txxxxxx] :D
[21:24] txxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hugs all around
[21:24] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I can't speak for everyone, but I know I appreciate it. I love Rosehaven for what it is, and it is a haven.

It has been so for many, through all its incarnations.

[21:24] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Hugs back
[21:24] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hugs
[21:24] rxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hugs
[21:24] Kxxxxx Vxxxxxxx: Some innocuous groups have tags I'd rather not display, so I use them only when needed.
[21:25] Kxxxxx Vxxxxxxx: And yes, I also appreciate the efforts to keep Rosehaven a nice place to be.
[21:25] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol Yeah, I've encountered that, [Kxxxxx].
[21:25] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Slippery slope

Yes. And that is ever the hazard. Banning should be the last resort, and bans can be removed if a plea can be successfully made...though somehow I doubt Mr. [Fxxxx] will bother.

[21:25] Kxxxxx Vxxxxxxx: Right.
[21:25] sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Indeed
[21:25] Mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Thank you everyone! It was a team effort.
[21:25] txxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: so I'll defer to behaviour
[21:25] Emilly Orr: Understandable. I no longer maintain a residence, at least for now, in Rosehaven, but I'm still in the group because I adore the sim, and the people.
[21:26] lxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Me too, Emilly.

And life--or at least, SLife...goes on.

that which drew you, like a crow to glass beads

From a notecard just given out in Caledon notices:

"This weekend I announced I would be closing a number of the Winterfell homesteads. Honestly, the announcement was more difficult to share than I had expected. One of the regions which was slated to go was Mists of Winterfell, the region that connects Winterfell to Caledon. From what I have been told, the more skilled sailors of our realm can sail from the very northern sim of Winterfell all the way down to the southern most end of Caledon.

"While thinking about the symbolic connection between our two realms, as well as the physical one, I have decided I cannot let the connection be broken.

"I will be redesigning the sim and setting it up as a public attraction. My hope is the donation kiosks I am planning to include will make it possible to keep the sim open for many more months, if not years.

"While I understand that not everyone will be able to contribute monetarily, I ask that you share the LM and spread the word that Winterfell is a wonderful place in which to explore, relax, and enjoy.

"Yrs Respectfully,
Princess Selena of Winterfell"

I wholeheartedly raise a glass to that. Now, I used to live in Winterfell, as some may remember. I did not leave over any lack of respect on either side, nor due to feeling unwelcomed--though neighbors did make me take down Sumie's Darkhouse, which was a heart blow--but solely because my Linden income has never been reliable. When what sources I had evaporated, I simply could not afford to keep paying rent.

Elsewise, I'd likely still be there, on Salix Alba, Luctus Isle, or any of the other shadowed reaches I've called home. And I may one day return, if financing allows. I would adore another chance to make Winterfell or Caledon home again.

It will likely take a bit for the Princess to restore the land, but once done, do support if you can. Our virtual connections are tenuous enough as it is, but the joining of the Independent States of Caledon with the reaches of Winterfell was one of the more heartfelt moments of memory, and has genuinely brought only good to both realms.

there will be no sorrow, when you sing tomorrow

I can't believe that no one's flooded the testers with mesh samples yet for Qarl's mesh deformer project. This is something that is vital to continued development on Second Life! Makers! Designers! Get on this!

Seen at Fallen Gods:

[02:39] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: ============================================

[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Your avatar is being scanned... Please wait!

[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: ================= Public page ==================
http://world.secondlife.com/resident/dff7b36a-7f65-4401-88ce-2cd3068d8b87
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Profile pic's UUID: 22db533d-5f70-c76d-7d8b-1f39b835a26e

[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: ================== Avatar info ==================
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Avatar's name: Emilly Orr
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Display name: Emilly Orr
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Key: dff7b36a-7f65-4401-88ce-2cd3068d8b87
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Date of birth: 2006-07-10 (2127 days old)

[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: ================= Physical data =================
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Height: 178cm (5 feet 10 inches) counting your shoes
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: (You are average for a male and average for a female)
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Mass: 1.497388 lindogram (~64 kg)

[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: =============== Script and memory ===============
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Script count: 21
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Running scripts: 21
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: CPU usage: 40 µs
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Memory usage: 480 KB
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Congratulations! Script weight under 3 MB.
[02:41] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: ============================================

Now, I'm amused by this for more than one reason, chiefest being due to my shoes at the time. I have several pairs of "pony" boots from Show Me On the Doll I still wear, but tonight's outfit involved the Fairlight Industries ballet boots (which, sadly, it seems they no longer make), and they easily have eight-inch spiked heels, if not taller.

So, without those, I'd be 5'2", which is a little accurate (and not that far from my RL height, all things considered).

I also had to look up the "weight" conversion (I'm also amused at the concept of the "Lindogram" as a weight measure. Still, their predicted weight of 64 kg makes my current avatar's shape a curvy little 141 pounds. All things considered, that's not so bad.

(Amusingly, I went back and checked it again after taking off the ballet boots. I got this:

[16:38] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: ================= Physical data =================
[16:38] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Height: 163cm (5 feet 4 inches) counting your shoes
[16:38] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: (You are short for a male and average for a female)
[16:38] [OO] Avatar Examiner 1.2: Mass: 1.355744 lindogram (~58 kg)

So apparently, shoe height is counted in total avatar "weight" (presumed, not script load). This is making my brain giggle.) But okay, apparently they're only six inch heels. (Hee. "Only".)

Why am I linking this, however? Simply put, because these things are popping up all over the grid now. While few are this involved, most will evaluate your current script load and active processes, and it's making me very glad I developed a limited AO for hunting and traveling. That AO has two scripts (yes, the other nineteen were in my shoes, and in the flight feather I wear to get around wearing the Mystitool whilst hunting), and two animations--a fairly uncomplicated walk, and one stand. All other animations are deleted from that AO, along with all other lines in the text file the AO uses to read the animations into memory.

But there have been building rumors for over a year now about the possibility of script limitations, and we seem finally to be moving into that era. So, many designers are now taking it upon themselves to police their stores and their sims. (And, to be fair, this is something that's been a long time coming. The more scripts you have running, the more memory you're using, the more lag you're creating. The thinking goes, less scripts = less lag, and they're not wrong.)

Apropos of nothing under discussion, there's a free mushroom umbrella for Petites on the Marketplace, with hold pose.

There's also a set of tops and jeans for "urban petites on the Marketplace for free, and a five-pack of simple dotted tops for petites as well. (Oh, I know there's more, but this was what a casual perusal, whilst searching for non-fantasy mesh Petite clothing, led to.)

[2012/05/05 13:36] Exxx Rxxxxxxx: SL is hating on me today.
[2012/05/05 13:36] Exxx Rxxxxxxx: Hehe so kind
[2012/05/05 13:36] Rxxxxx Axxxxxx: Ahh it hates us all quite equally Dear, never fear
[2012/05/05 13:36] Sxxxx Axxxxx: we will love you enough to make up for SL hating you
[2012/05/05 13:36] Exxx Rxxxxxxx: :)
[2012/05/05 13:36] Cxx Exxxx: (What a great motto for Winterfell!)

It really is.

This leads to a wild little art project that makes me think of Minecraft and Second Life both. It's definitely unusual, but intriguing. What else could be replaced with Legos?

[00:59] TBF Loudspeaker shouts: Attention please. Beware of child avatars. They may in fact be FBI agents.

Good advice, just about anywhere.

There's a vintage toaster radio for L$10 at WarBug that plays...scarily peppy music. I can't decide whether it's going to make me homicidal or overly bouncy. But I had to buy it.

They've also got the Telefunken TV mentioned earlier, in case you're interested. It's going for L$20.

Think Geek terms it "Twenty Sides of Suck", which is somewhat suggestive, but nonetheless fun. It's insanely expensive for a single confection, but if you plan to impress the gentles at a gaming convention, it might be the accessory to acquire for sessions.

And from the Modem World blog:

While I have been prone to avoid personal opinion in “news” items, that there is upcoming maintenance does prompt me to ask Linden Lab as to whether they could also broadcast a reminder in-world prior to the work commencing, for the benefit of those who may not routinely read the Status Page or who are not engaged on Twitter?

It's a good question. Why don't the Lindens make more of an effort to communicate at least the extreme upcoming changes?

Oh, wait, that would require the Lindens to want to communicate. Of course, I forgot.

Finally, the creators of Space Quest want people to help fund their latest project--essentially, updating their game for the modern era. While it's not jumping up by leaps about bounds like Amanda Palmer's Kickstarter (which so far has spawned over six hundred thousand dollars in donations, and inspired her to start LoanSpark, which could turn out to be the independent musicians' Kiva, it's still moving up fairly respectably. You still have most of the month to decide to help, or just tell your friends who might be interested. (In any of the projects mentioned--let's face it, they're all worthwhile endeavors.)

I'm just staring at the ceiling, waiting for the feeling

On my wanderings tonight, I came across quite the opinionated little vixen at one of the stores I'm frequenting for their lovely Advent fare. In addition to the rest of her groups, she was, notably, in these:

• *Animal Rights Advocates*
• Stop Child Pornography
• AGAINST DOLCETT & -TORTURE RP
• Feminists
• Gender Square
• Second Life Anti-Gorean Council
• SL Left Unity Feminist Network
• Stop Violence Against Women

Hmm. That's rather a lot of strident scolding all bottled up, there. Now, to make my position clear, I'm not pro-animal cruelty, or for abuse against women. And, as irritated as I am at the movement in general at times, I still consider myself a feminist.

However, in her picks, she has this statement concerning the "AGAINST DOLCETT & -TORTURE RP" group (and yes, the group name does have that perplexing dash):

This group is for everyone who is beware of the danger of role playing Dolcett, snuff and torture phantasies in SL.

I refuse to take you seriously on any of your issues until you learn to spell. Or at least use proper grammar.

So, it's taken me some time for processing, beyond the screen, but I think I've finally figured out part of why I'm just not drawn to Second Life at the moment. I think a lot of it's tied up with abandoning my store.

To be clear, I was never an effective merchant. I had fun designing things, but over the entirety of my business history--under any business name--I've sold less than twenty objects total priced over five Lindens.

I've been in SL more than five years. That's less than five objects a year.

So I was never a success as a business owner, I want to make that clear. Whatever the trick is to running a successful operation, I wasn't doing it, and I never really did make much of an effort to, past the first year. I'm not blaming anyone other than myself for the business failing.

But I'm now reflecting back on other things, and adding them up again. I never broke the bank as an escort, either. While I did do pretty good, overall, as a dancer, the bottom dropped out of dancing (at least my style of dancing) when the casinos left. I failed as a madam; I failed as an event hostess; I failed as a virtual real estate agent; I failed as a land manager.

At this point, I am facing squarely two facts: the Lindens I have, to spend on rent, shopping, and parcel decoration, are solely being funded by other people; and, while I have a strong virtual work ethic, I'm just not drawn to doing anything I've failed at in the past.

And I haven't yet found something I want to take on as a new career.

More to the point, literally the only times I'm entering into Second Life as a whole is for the various Advent calendar presents (and to be ruthless about this, I'm over 75,000 items in inventory now, and adding to that with new items is just making me depressed), or to pay rent.

And I sold off my last Caledon parcel, so I'm only paying rent to Lady Serra. And I'm even reconsidering that...as much as I love Winterfell, and want to support it, is it worth it to continue paying rent if I'm not coming into world for any other reason than buying more virtual time on a virtual medieval (ish) server?

Overall, all of these considerations are also not doing much good for the guttering holiday spirit. Part of that is that we haven't dug out any of the holiday lights, or ornaments; I haven't had the inclination or the finances to make my own ornaments (as I've done most years); and I have zero idea what to get people, either in SL or in RL.

I'm at an impasse. I'm hoping this feeling of being frozen in place will ease at some point, and I'll at least understand what ways forward remain (even if they lead to places where I walk away from Second Life). I mean, at least it would be doing something, not just standing, frozen in indecision and regret.

(Of course, the other part of the problem is currently feeling overwhelmed by the amount of fun ideas I've run across this year. Just a brief sample of the things I've been trying to decide between:

• Making hot air balloon ornaments
• Making vintage ice skate ornaments
• Making needle-felted holiday lights
• Crocheting round teddy ornaments
• Making twig trees from found objects
• Making balloon and string ornaments
• Making waterless snowglobes

...and all of that? Just came in to start perusing this past few days.

So...lots of things to consider in the background. Hopefully, I'll manage to thread this needle--so to speak--and continue on, in some capacity, as a Second Life resident. But it's far from easy...and, as usual, the Lindens aren't helping in the least.

Not that they ever did...

and even though she's dreaming, she knows

Short brief entry/explanation, just so everyone's on the same page.

First, I have no idea what's going on with Photobucket. A friend pointed out the images weren't loading; another mentioned that mayhap there was a copyright challenge going on in the background. (I'm thinking that's not the case, because I've seen the things that Photobucket puts up if there is a reason for them to delete content; this graphic doesn't match their previous observed behavior.

But however it is--or isn't--I'm planning on transferring the images for this blog to another service that won't spontaneously replace them with black and white print on a whim.

Secondly, yes, I'm planning on getting back to the doll entries, but I got tied up in how to define things, and I'm still not sure how that's going to play out. But they're still on the table, and I'll post them when I'm done.

Third, I have what may well be a hundred or more images of Team Fortress 2 and Minecraft--possibly each--that I haven't posted. I'm still pondering whether I want to just flip up pic-heavy entries of some of the happenings. No or little text, and would that still be interesting 'reading' for people who don't play either game?

But there you go, the news, or announcement, or what-have-you about the last few days of strange graphics and radio silence (so to speak).

Me, I'm going back to pondering changing dwellings, and wondering on the best way to measure a tower when the ground levels of surrounding plots in the same sim are uneven...

^&^

[Update: this tweet from the Photobucket account came in a few hours back:

Hey PB peeps - just got an update on the maintenance issue - looks like after 12am MDT (-6 GMT) for things to get back to nrml

[The problem with this? It's not fixed yet. I'm hoping on the morning...but I'm still planning on transferring my graphics off.]

^&^

[Update II: Turns out, I didn't keep the original background or the logo. *sighs* So tomorrow, I have to decide how badly I want to retain the original look, or if I just want to spend a few hours recreating my blog. This is so irritating.]

sorry you, sorry me, sorry every in between

There's an insane amount of things to announce today. So this is going to be a potentially long and meandering post. Bear with me.

First off, Winterfell has banned RedZone from its sims. This surprises me not at all. Honestly, I'm surprised Caledon hasn't banned it outright, but to be fair, RedZone--and its endless imitators--market to fear. There's not much an estate owner can do to combat that fear, because it comes directly from ignorance about how Second Life works, as well as how computers and similar technologies work.

Next, there's a new post from Axi Kurmin about the uphill battle Soft Linden's having getting RedZone--and its endless imitators--yanked like the toxic weeds they are. It mentions a YouTube video leaked by several sources that seems to be on how easy it is to use the RedZone system to get access to potential passwords of RedZone users. The best comment on the link I used first:

"Seems to me that if RZ and Xue goes downhe's trying his best to [take] SL down with the wreck."

Yeah, it really does.

(Just for verification, match the fuzzy-vision blue blur of hair shape and face shape, as well as vocal tone in the supposedly "fake" video, with this one, which is a full-face authentically-voiced zFire talking about jumping out of an airplane. This is the same guy. Does he think we're that stupid?)

InWorldz, as of this writing, has also banned RedZone and RedZone-like devices.

So the question becomes, why hasn't the Labs? Soft Linden is doing all he can, but he really seems to be the one guy on the job. Is he receiving any support from superiors? Does he have a team? Or is it just him fighting his uphill battle while the upper management tell him it's no big deal?

According to the Alphaville Herald--not noted for their journalistic integrity--the hackers have been hacked, but apparently the blackhats went down to whitehats, or at least greyhats (it's hard to friggin' tell who's who). They "wont" release the database, but they recommend zFire remove the password tracking capabilities of RedZone.

Yeah, like that's going to happen.

One of the comments to that entry is notable. This from Scylla Rhiadra:

Linden Lab needs to act NOW to re-establish the confidence of its customers in the system. This is no longer just about RedZone: it's about the security vulnerabilities in SL itself that have made this kind of disaster possible.

I agree with her, but here's the main thing:

* Premium account-holders' confidence staggered when the openspace/homestead debacle went down the way it did.

* Merchant confidence plummeted when Zindra popped as a continent and all the Adult businesses were forced to relocate.

* Now a large majority of people are freaking out on some level, from "ZOMG this man I don't know has my home address/SL password/alt names!" to "ZOMG LL has been haxx0red!" (which, as we know, has happened at least twice in the past, so it's a reasonable concern under the hysteria).

And from another RedZone thread on Tateru Nino's blog comes this stunner (to me, at least):

"IBM were right after all to abandon corporate activity in Second Life. This sort of compromise was what they feared.

Hence their active work using Opensimulator and their 'walled gardens'."

Breen Whitman said that, and I'd love to find confirmation for it...anyone? Because IBM has been one of the strongest supporters of Second Life; if that's changes, SL as a concept has serious, serious problems.

Miss Nino, later on, tackles zFire Xue's statement directly:

"For me, the primary take-away is "Do not challenge people to try to break into your site if that is not what you want them to do.'"

Yeah, didn't we all learn not to do that when Gawker got hacked? Come on, people!

So let's go back to the Jira That Will Never Die, not that it so much matters anymore.

Emerald Seaside: "Sigh. Seems that the Linden's don't know what each other of them is talking about Soft Linden says it does belong in a JIRA and Oz Linden says it doesn't."

It would be nice if Lindens could agree on what's official policy, yes.

Unya Tigerfish: "This is a clear breach not only of ToS, but of US privacy laws. US law states that the criminal act of 'invasion of privacy' takes place when there is (for example):

* Public disclosure of private facts (my alts are my private matter, and only mine)

or

* False light: the publication of facts which place a person in a false light, even though the facts themselves may not be defamatory. And being labelled alt of someone is a false light, as the IP gathering is less than perfect.

Maybe we could find a US resident willing to sue?"

I'm actually hoping this doesn't end up in court, because there'll be bad precedent either way.

Arkady Arkright: "I see Oz Linden's comments as a deliberate attempt to sweep the whole issue under the carpet - 'Mention it again and I'll ban you" - a disgraceful example of a company ignoring its user's wishes by invoking a technicality."

Please. This is how the Labs do business, people. Obfuscation; confusion; misdirection. Oh, and of course layoffs.

Masami Kuramoto: "Oz, how many more votes on this issue does it take for you to realize that personalized media playback without user confirmation is a design flaw? More than 300 residents can see the problem. Why can't you?"

I'd adore an answer to that.

zFire Xue shows up: "Dare I challenge Linden Labs to investigate the viewers, inventory, and chat logs between GothGirl Demonia and myself.

"RedZone cooperates with Linden Lab, all they need to do is ask.

"[...] RedZone has full support in working with people."

Right. I have several questions on this.

1. Does he mean "I dare to challenge the Labs", or does he mean "Dare, I challenge"? In the latter case, does he mean Dare Munro specifically, or another Dare?

2. RedZone cooperates with Linden Labs? Really? When Soft comes out and returns his vendors, and he puts them right back out? When Soft delists his listings on the Marketplace, and he puts them up for sale again? That's cooperating with the Lindens?

3. Full support in working with people? Password-skimming of his own userbase equates "full support"?

Micaela Darkwatch: "I would seriously like to recommend Linden Lab employees check out the Redzone forums.

"By most accounts, this product is worshipped for it's alt account detection ability. When the HUD came out people were excited about going to other sims and being able to 'click' on other avatars to find out if they were in the database or to build onto the database. Some Redzone users want the ability to ban the HUD users on their sims, because they don't want to be scanned. Because it's an invasion of their privacy.

"Seriously Lab, this isn't a joke any longer. This isn't paranoia. You have my information. You can tell that I'm not a griefer, copybotter etc. I am a premium member. I contribute to the community just as much as these people.

"Close the media hole."

I thought quoting her whole comment was worthwhile, because this is indicative of the level of complaints--it's not just 'free accounts', it's premium members, some of whom have been members of SL for several years. Merchants, estate owners. Major players. When will the Labs listen?

Some small bit of levity before I tie this up until next time. This from one of the many, many hunt groups proliferating across the web:

[20:38] Raindrop Lowbeam: Hey Couch Pototatos! How's the hunting?
[20:39] Thane Woodford: Been making things lol
[20:39] Raindrop Lowbeam: big things! laughs
[20:39] Anya Flux: a little more difficult than i expect, but i can solve it
[20:40] Vesper Wildrose: I am a french fry.
[20:43] Thane Woodford wonders what is a french fry about
[20:44] Beautiful Shamen: 3 inches?

I know, I know, really bad joke. But I thought it was funny.

we got it wrong from the start

Valve hates us. (That's part one; there's also part two, part three and part four.)

From Vasha Martinek's profile (to Dysturbed Sin, natch):

On days like today, I realize that I'd give you the other gun and half my bullets. Without you having to ask. It must be love.

Wau, it must be. That's a huge compliment.

So, Winter Ventura, out of the blue today, sent me this:



Doesn't that look amazing on the mantle? Probably look even cooler in homes that aren't set on 100% black wood and black stone textures...but still.

Even cuter? This is the back of it:



Wau. Just wau. It has present radio stations (including holiday ones!), it's very low-prim, and the internal card can be modified to put in your own favorite tunesmiths. Lovely little bit of work.

You can find it at Eclectic Randomness' Healy annex store, or her main store in Kloimar. (I b'lieve her main store is Adult-verified only, but the Healy annex store isn't.)

Gift cards, btw, are available for all her holiday items, and I think everything else, so you don't have to worry about buying something and then not being able to transfer it. Go Winter!

In further news of people sending me random things, Miss sachi Vixen sent me an advance copy of her new Lena skin (at the time, not out; but, at this late date, out):



Just gorgeous. I meant to go back and take fancier pictures, without the cat ears and eyes, but I never got around to it. I was just standing around the land office in these. Still, this says something, I think.



If it looks this good in regular system light, no facelights, no special post-processing, no Photoshop enhancements...think how good it will look if you're actually in a human shape (I was in the kittyshape, naturally), and you pull a little effort together with the facelights or the post-processing.

The lips are just divine on this skin. You can go get her in the Skins section of the Adam & Even main store.

And while we're on A&E, she sent me a pack of eyes. This is taking a while to photograph, because there were a TON of things in the pack. But it's from her new fantasy eyes collection, and they're well worth a trip down to the store to check those out, too.









Cannot remember if the eyes are next to skins still, so if you go here to their lobby, there'll be a map with eyes marked. Just click that to teleport directly there. I'm going to have to go retake the eye shots, though, because a) as much as I love Winterfell, eternal twilight does not good eye pics make, and b) I can't remember which ones these were.

Save for the first pic. Those are called "Dampsong".

Lastly, I'm now a contributor for the Metaverse Daily! What does that mean? Absolutely nothing other than someone wandered over to the blog and dragged something off for republication. It's more views, I guess, and ordinarily I wouldn't mind, but there was a Twitter post in the publisher's feed that made it sound like I'd been hired as a contributor.

And, y'know, wouldn't mind that, but I certainly wouldn't volunteer for it, you know?

this peppermint winter is so sugar-sweet

Still night, nothing for miles,
White curtain come down,
Kill the lights in the middle of the road
And take a look around...

Packed away the doll. Can't help it; I can't imagine being in her skin right now, and I'm shying away even from keeping out those pieces I like and wear with other forms. It hurt, though, the packing away. I poured a great deal of me into the form of the doll.

It don't help to be
One of the chosen
One of the few, to be sure
When the wheels are spinning around
And the ground is frozen through,
And you're

Now I'm finding myself at loose ends, wondering what happens now. Life stage next: there don't seem to be a lot of goals, and less in the way of landmarks to guide me.

Driven, like the snow
Pure in heart
Driven together
And given away to the west

I have a Tumblr account now. It is defiantly not safe for work. I have an established Twitter account, which is mostly safe for work. I maintain one blog nearly daily, another blog diffidently, and I just tied up a third stealth blog for NaNoWriMo. (I'm still not sure what to do with the fifty-one thousand words of output. It wasn't fiction. It was far from impersonal. And in spots it was raw and painful and bleeding to write. I seriously doubt anyone wants to read that but me.)

A white dress
'Til the river don't run
A black dress
Looking like mine
'Til the sun don't shine no more

All of which means I'm finding places to test my footing, places to learn new things, but very, very little of it has anything to do with Second Life.

Where the sky meet the ground
Where the street fold round
Where the voice you hold don't make no sound

I haven't moved on yet. I'm still holding my parcels (though I'm still looking to sell Caledon Morgaine), working in world; I'm still involved in building the occasional frock.

Let's just say, I know where the exit is now, even if it doesn't lead to another virtual world.

Look, snow on the river and two by two
Took a lot to live, a lot like you
I don't go there now, but I hear they sung
Their "Fuck Me And Marry Me Young"

So where am I drawing the line at present? Well, I can't conceive--now--of ever having another rezday party. I can't conceive--now--of going to another dance. I know maybe eight people in Caledon at this point.

Some wild-eyed dear in a big white bed
Now, you know better than that, I said,
Like a voice in the wind
Blow little crystals down
Like brittle things will break before they turn

In fact, it's gotten so bad, as far as detachment goes, that I wonder--when I get Lindens--why I'm bothering buying new things at all. I'm trying to gut out the inventory I have, and, since I still have this strong feeling Second Life may not be long for this world...why am I buying new things?

Like lipstick on my cigarette
And the ice get harder overhead
Like, think it twice but never never learn...

Which makes it hard to support the efforts I want to support. Like Woeful Wednesday, and even 25LT, though I'm not Gorean. Supporting sculpt makers who throw sales. Supporting the makers I do like, when I do have spending money over and beyond rent.

And the mist will wrap around us
And the crystal, if you touch it...

And more importantly, it makes it very difficult to consider buying Lindens. Why, precisely, am I supporting a company who's spent the past three years lighting any last shred of community support, and any established positive feelings, on fire?

And the cars lost in the drift are there
And the people that drive lost in the drift are there
And the cares I've lost in the drift are there
Theirs, ours, lost in the drift are
Are, are, are
Driven

Like Bettina Tizzy, at this point I think I'm just hanging around, waiting for the Labs to be sold off to whomever, and then figure out if I can cope with the changes that company may want to make.

Driven together
And driven apart

At this point, I come in for sale days, if I have extra money; for the rare build project; and for my work shifts at Solace Beach. Nothing else pulls me into SL without effort.

I can't decide if it's a good thing or not, but I know it's not a bad thing. It remains to be seen how permanent the absence will be, in time.

(Lyrics taken from "Driven Like the Snow" by Sisters of Mercy. "Driven Like The Snow". It comes off the album Floodland, published [and ©] in 1987 by WEA Records, Ltd. and SBK Songs. It was written by Andrew Eldritch, naturally.)

I have too been playing with fifty-two cards; just 'cause I play so far from my vest

So, more on the Dare Designs thing.

First off, while I was surprised that Dare, himself, commented on the blog (yeah, I'm still occasionally under the delusion no one reads this thing), I think we aired our concerns with tact and restraint. I want to make this plain--I am not attacking the man, nor what he does, because what he does makes up a fair bit of my wardrobe. (And a lot of my Hallows trees are his.) I like his business, is the main point.

Having said that, I'd point your attention towards his own blog entry on the topic, which addresses pretty much everything said so far. And repeats this paragraph from his first (first? Maybe second) reply to me:

With search broken, with picks and traffic no longer counting towards search rankings, and NO tool available to us (merchants) working any longer – leaving us no real way (except good old-fashioned word of mouth) to introduce our work to new customers as old ones leave SL in droves… it’s time to be creative, and invite loyal customers to work WITH us, and get something back for it.

That's incredibly relevant, and it points to the huge frustration that all merchants on Second Life are having currently. Search has been broken in all main clients for nearly an entire year. This, by itself, would be enough to kill a lot of businesses--and it has--but it seems like every single marketing technique that's discovered, the Labs step in between two and six months down the line, and say it's "gaming the system".

With Dare, at least, and the way this new group works, the one thing the Labs cannot say is that he's using Search, or Profile Picks, or any other previously-declared 'gaming' technique...to game anything. This is clearly stated, and he's even further refined it in the blog post he made.

If this works out the way he hopes it will, he'll have a moderately devoted (to insanely devoted) core of customers, who are dedicated both out of pure admiration for the business, and a fair bit of enlightened self-interest--to keep that business going.

Now, flaw one for this plan has always been that strong trace, for me, of MLM marketing. And I automatically connect this with pyramid schemes, but to be absolutely fair here, they are separate. Multi-level marketing businesses are legal. Pyramid schemes aren't.

So I read through the blog post, and the note card again. I still don't like it, but I am removing my objection on the 'pyramid scheme' accusation. Because that's really not what's going on at all.

If I sign up (which won't happen, at least not for a while; I'll explain that next), I get a basic group tag, and really, that's all I have to do. I shop, I talk to folks, I follow sales notices; nothing really changes. If I sign up and then sign up ten other people--meaning, each one of them sends a notecard to Dare Munro with my name as the referrer and their desire to join the group--I go up one level, and get 5% of everything I spend in the store back.

Say I sign up twenty-five people to the group--I move up one more level, and get 10% of everything I spend back. If I sign up fifty people that's one more level, and I get 15% of all purchase funds returned. And if I truly lose my mind, and sign up one hundred people, I move to the last level--appropriately called "Cursed"--and I get 20% of all purchases back.

There's also a bit about, if you have these "circles" of people in your downlines, then everything they spend--if they spend anything at all--becomes a part of your total, and you can earn a (negligible, but definite) amount of their purchases per month, just for having them in your circle.

Okay, fair enough, it makes sense--but there is a catch. I have to keep these people to keep my standing. Each one of those ten avatars have to stay in the group. That's why he says sign up and maintain those people.

This brings me to my second objection--group space. Until (and I really doubt this will ever happen) the Lindens increase group space, group space is at a premium for most of us, and that premium is high. For example, let's talk my groups. In alphabetical order, they are:

*Delicatessen*: Part landscaping, part art installation; I got into their group right as their sim closed, and I feel honor-bound to stay in at least until they reopen after the rebuild. How'ver, if something else comes up that strikes me as more valid, this is what I consider a "mobile" group spot.

+ | DV8 Deviants | +: DV8 is latex, cybertech, futuristic hair and neko attachments, quirky steampunk outfits, and bizarre fishing frocks. They throw a lot of freebies to the group--in fact, I sacrificed a pick space to them (though honestly, I may end up ditching that at some point, because I wear the things I buy from them, and I tend not to wear--or keep--most of what Vasha throws in the picks prize giver)--but also, they have frequent discounts for group members, and parties. (Also, if I stay in the group, I feel it gives me some partial bit of 'bitching rights' over the Twisted hunts. That's pure undiluted justification, but it works for me.) This one may or may not be mobile; it depends on how I feel. I have left it at times, I generally join right up again.

::: B@R ::: VIP: If you don't know who Bare Rose is, wau, you live under a rock. Bare Rose is my second-longest running group slot. I've been in their group one year younger than they've existed on the grid. I adore them, their designs, and the people who run the place, and I've even made it onto at least one product box. (I think just the one, but it may be two.) Bare Rose I consider a non-mobile slot, which means I never leave this group.

Adam n Eve sachi Vixen update group: I joined Adam & Eve's group before I inveigled them into designing the 300 movie avatars and outfits three years back. But I was part of that promotional juggernaut, and because of that, and because I adore sachi Vixen and Damen Gorilla, this I consider a non-mobile slot.

Autogenica: This is Autogenic Alchemy, Mr. Allen's business. Considering the last update was back in January of this year, this is very nearly a dead group. But it's one I can't leave; unfortunately, since I set the group up for Mr. Allen, if I leave it, it dies. So this is a non-mobile group slot for me.

Caverna Obscura: Caverna Obscura makes lovely medieval fashions, fae fashions, and also tosses group gifts to their members once a month. In fact, the Lalaith gown is their October offering, and it is divine. For me, Miss Ewing is up there with Evie's Closet and Kouse's Sanctum. This I consider a semi-mobile spot--it's a group I like to stay in, sometimes have to leave, and try my best not to.

Distressed Textures: Jewell Lamourfou of Distressed does amazing work on wood, siding, and combined aged fabrics. (She does other great work as well, but those, she's stellar with.) I'm in and out of her main group; I'm always in her subscribe-o-matic. This is a semi-mobile spot--it's a group I like to stay in, sometimes have to leave, and try my best not to.

FallnAngel Creations: I have been in and out of this group, over the years, but I always try for more in than out (so to speak). I love Azriel's dress designs, I am enchanted and appalled at his art, his zombies are mass fun to converse with, and he's an amazing builder. Plus, he and Tomoyuki Batra represent one of the few long-standing SL relationships: they prove it is possible. Which is an excellent example.

This group wavers between semi-mobile and non-mobile; I want to stay in, and if I have to leave, I make sure as I can that I'm leaving before a group gift goes out--because I can't rejoin the group if one's out for the group members!

HAR Landgroup & Investments: At one point, long, long ago, I lived in Rivula. Very dear friends of mine, Hank and Alex Rucker, lived there too. I am still very dear friends with them, but I no longer live in Rivula, nor, once Rivula sold and Lunitarium was acquired, Lunitarium. How'ver, I'm still a land officer for the land group, and I won't give it up.

Independent State of Caledon: Do I need to explain Caledon to people? I still have one parcel of Caledon left; I suppose that means I can't leave the group.

Lucky Kitty Crew: Founded by one of the officers in Bare Rose, I joined her group back when there were maybe thirty people overall. There's more now, and there are people I don't get on with (and who don't get on well with me), but by and large, we stand by each other, support how we can, and make our way--cheaply if possible--through Second Life. This I consider a non-mobile group slot.

Octoberville!: Cannot leave Octoberville. I leave, I don't get my rank when I solve the puzzle this year. (Which reminds me, now that it's back on, I should kick myself into gear on the haunt, and get to solving Octoberville!)

Sanguinarius.Org for Real Vampires: One of the few groups I'm in that traces to an RL affiliation, as well. I could leave the group; I have problems with some of the group members; but by the same extension, I've had most of those same problems with the community at large. I am known and past known to be cranky beyond all reason on "otherkin" and other fluffy terms, and less than sympathetic to anyone who read Twilight and "woke up" to their supposedly "true vampiric natures". And I will happily kick people out of my way with a smile who say these things to me. Still, it's a group I feel profoundly uncomfortable about leaving. I class this as semi-mobile...but it's really not.

Sensual Paradyce: Sensual Paradyce is where the weekly (or nearly weekly) Wednesday discussions are held on BDSM practices, customs, traditions, fashions, and fetishes are held. I'm in the group in case one of the girls has to sub out; I can fill in as an alternate host. The owner, Dyce Underwood, also gives me an insane discount on advertising in the store, and considering that's practically the only advertising I do, I stay in this group. I'm also an officer, in case I am called on to send out a notice. So this is one I can't leave, either.

Shadows' Eaves: My land group. Really, enough said; I set the group up, it's what all my land is under, I can't leave it.

Solace Beach Event Staff: Job-related; the tag I need to work in the land office. I can't leave it.

Solace Beach Staff: Also job-related; the tag I need to build and/or repair/return built items by others in and around the Solace sims. I can't leave it, either.

Tainted Hunts: To get clues on the Hunt of the Living Dead. May or may not stay in after that hunt's over; they're encouraging people to stay in for more events and future hunts. Jury's still out, because, while I really like Yellow Jester and Mefo Alcar's design ethic--it would be yet another non-mobile group. Due to that, I'd call this one semi-mobile.

The Thrifty Goth group: Man, I'm conflicted about this one. I had to join the group because I had to be in this group to go on the Gother than Thou hunt, and some of those hunt items were well worth the aggravation. In return, though, I'm yelled at nearly constantly (not directly, but impartially; it still adds up) not to call from this store, or that store, or only call the stores on the list, or ask a mod before any call...and NEVER EVER NEVER to call anything furry, fae or neko.

I have a biiiig problem with that. When I have fur, I generally have pale fur and I dress in black. When I'm neko, I'm generally either black or white, even though I do have other skins. When I'm fae, I'm Unseelie. I not only know I'm gothic, I have been a goth for more than enough years to know exactly what it is. I resent being treated like a child and I further resent being told what I can and cannot call, based on whether someone else entirely thinks is--or isn't--goth.

I wrestle daily with the thought of leaving the group. I feel marginalized, institutionalized, restricted, and it's just not at all fun when you toss in the rampant spelling errors of nearly every single person not me in that damned group. If I get a good reason to leave--I am gone. But so far, it's still slightly less hassle to stay in than leave.

The Unknown Hunt: I'm in this group because my store's in the hunt. The hunt's over, I leave this group. This is a mobile slot.

The Woeful Wednesday Collective: I admit, I'm in this one simply because they're one with my ethos; items (that generally retail between L$50 and L$100) every week, from merchants I already favor. It works for me. I could leave this group, if needed, but right now I'm trying to stay in.

Twisted Thorn Textures:: I own far too many Twisted Thorn textures to ever leave this group. Besides which, they're a generally intelligent, helpful group of people who are great at pointing out where a certain sculpt might be found, or where a certain texture is in the now-sprawling complex that is TTT.

Victorian Shopkeepers Association: Founded by Jarl Otenth Paderborn, it's sort of the equivalent of Woeful Wednesday--only for Victorian/steampunk sorts, not goths. Tacitly, I have posting permission; I rarely use it these days because I haven't put out anything s eriously Victorian in two years. Even so, I consider it a group I would like to try to stay in.

Virtual Haiti Relief: Because they still need help. As long as I have a kiosk out, I'm going to be in this group.

Winterfell: Because I live there now. Because it's Winterfell. Because I loved it before I lived there, and I belonged to the group before I moved. NOT leaving.

By my count, objectively, I have sixteen groups I cannot--in my own mind--see my way clear to leaving, ever. That leaves nine, and of those nine, I really, honestly, feel I can only leave at will three. And I have to really be devoted to those three, because at least one of those is iffy. Maybe two of those, if you toss in Distressed Textures (because I am on her subscribe-o-matic).

I just don't generally have the room for new groups that would have to remain a fixed spot; I generally only take on new groups that may stay in a month to four months, then rotate out again. I'm always maxed out on group slots, it's an insane thing to ask.

That, plus the fact I just don't coddle people well, pretty much guarantees that if I want to toss Dare Munro press--and I mean good press, not this back-and-forth we've been having--then I'll go down and buy something and review it. Elsewise...no. I just don't see it happening. It's like Tiny Empires, Fashion Edition.

All that being said--and kudos to anyone who read all the way down!--I will say this: I admire Dare for not taking the quick way out and just finding an affiliate vending program, so his brand can join the hundreds, if not thousands, populating vendor malls that exist as nothing more than to make people incremental percentages of sales per month. That really is gaming the system; Dare's not doing that.

What he seems to be doing--and a friend of mine is joining the group, so we'll see how her experience jibes with this perception--is far harder, will take more effort, will take a lot of hands-on--but seriously, here: if SL is your RL income, you need to do something like this. It's this or taking the route June Dion and Adam & Even took--diversification. Used to be A&E didn't do shoes. Now they do. Used to be they didn't do landscaping, either--now they do.

For that matter, so does Dare Munro. Survivors are survivors not only because they live through the dark times, but because they keep finding new ways to keep living. So here's to Dare Designs surviving. Fight on.

where are you gonna go? there's nowhere to go now

Uncomfortable news this morning:

[14:50] Aevalle Galicia: Not sure if it's made the rounds yet but it appears that LL is closing the Teen Grid and allowing 16 year olds on the Main.
[14:52] SpinWeaver Radmussen: Yes, that was announced this morning, the 16 & 17s will be accepted as adults, but Phili Linden indicated that the younger teen grid's closing will be temporary.
[14:52] Emilly Orr knew this was going to happen.
[14:52] Aevalle Galicia: The educators were all in a tizzy, though. Some had just paid on their sims on the TG.

I am so glad I'm not dating any more. The last thing I need is to wonder if I'm having even virtual relations with a sixteen-year-old. No. Just no.

[14:54] Ordinal Malaprop: Pretty much every Linden responsible for the Teen Grid stopped being so some months or years ago anyway.

See, that doesn't help matters.

[15:01] Audrey Fotherington: think about it... it is sad that we inhabit a bit of the world [where] teenagers arent welcome and the behavior cant be trusted?
[15:02] Ordinal Malaprop: There may be an issue there.

And I'm not convinced it's not largely on the part of the "adults" for not being discerning enough, or foolish enough to accept that pixel cleavage actually means RL adult.

But more than that, the Lindens, yet again, really haven't thought this through. Eighteen is a low standard, fine, but it's a legal standard. I may feel squeamish, but I can flirt, cuddle, and actually, should we both choose, have sex with an eighteen year old male or female.

Seventeen? Sixteen?!? No, thank you! I see jail down that road, virtual or not. That is a bad, bad road.

And how are we to tell the sixteen-year-old residents from the rest? They're not likely to come out and tell us, now are they? And what happens if the unfortunate does occur, and someone has a relationship, gets married, hires as an escort, whatever, one of these sixteen year old people, and their parents find out, and go ballistic? Can suit be brought? Do virtual actions count?

(Before the debate in comment starts over that one, as I'm sure it will, I'm one of those who say that yes, yes they do, emotionally, psychologically; I'm just not sure they do legally. So I want that clear from the outset.)

Essentially, this entire move scares the hell out of me. If I am in an Adult--as defined by the rules on the grid--space, I want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that everyone I look at is also an Adult, in those defined terms. And between the utter hash Linden Labs made of age verification (Look, Mom, I'm Elvis!), and this new move, now I'm never going to be sure unless I know the other person very, very well.

I suppose it's going to speak to not blithely falling into bed with everyone one meets, though for me personally, I stopped that around the time I stopped escorting, frankly. Longer-term relationships (in any world) are more appealing, anyway. But still, it's an unnerving decision which personally makes my skin crawl, and I feel creeped out by the Lindens as a ruling body for even considering it, much less implementing it.

B'sides, I thought they were against ageplay. What changed?

As long as we're on sex, Allie Brosh takes on adding spice back to the sex life in five horrifying and mental ways. (Scroll down to the comments after reading, though; some of them are PRICELESS.)

And as long as we're on love, I don't think there's a single person, RL or SL, who can't benefit from watching through a few of the videos on the Man's Guide to Love page. Some surprising advice there, a few surprising people--but it's all honest, heartfelt, and rings true.

On happiness in general, I know he's something of a big scary talking head in this video, but at the least start it playing and go wander while he talks on love, sustaining relationships, and true happiness. You'll be glad you did, believe me.

[17:32] Sexy Larsen: I know this is really off topic and everything, but I have had the overwhelming desire lately to shout from the roof tops so I'm just gonna tell y'all since y'all are within ear shot.......But I have the most amazing Dom ever and I love him to death. Now hopefully this will satisfy my urges
[17:32] Belladonna Mureaux: O.o....
[17:32] Erinyse Planer: errrrrrr
[17:32] Fallon Gothly: grins
[17:32] Emilly Orr did notice earlier you had three tags proclaiming the same thing.

Weirdly, I had just looked her up because of the tag thing. Her actual tag related to her Master, Kain Kenny; but she had those wearable tags in teal, pink and I think bright green also saying she was owned by him.

There's such a thing as saying it too often, I'm thinking. Or maybe saying it too much all at once?

Line from her bio states "I like collars better than wedding rings.....They let me know that more than my finger is wanted!" I suppose, but isn't the wedding ring saying the same thing?

And a little farther in, there's a comment under her picks: "The true meaning of being a sub is true love meaning loving someone enough to give them the ability to destroy you and trusting them not to." That's a lot of trust for most people.

[17:32] Erinyse Planer: okay
[17:33] Emilly Orr: I suppose a full-body tattoo is next. :P
[17:33] Violet Visage: pmsl
[17:33] Sexy Larsen: lol Thank you all

You're more than welcome. This, by the way, crawled across the Thrifty Goth group, not a BDSM group or a Gorean group.

Speaking of the Thrifty Goths, though...Shangreloo covers an absolutely stunning goth skin, one of the gifts on the Gother Than Thou hunt, a smallish grid-wide dedicated to purely goth items on the grid. One caveat: you must be a member of the Thrifty Goth in-world group to go on the hunt, and the group only remains open through this Sunday! If you want to hunt, go join the group NOW! It'll be closed by Monday!

Finally, in somber news...Lady Serra is having to close Winterfell Raven's Reach for financial reasons. I am saddened over the loss of Luctus Isle, but serendipity has moved me to an offshore parcel of Winterfell Laudanum, so I'll have to ponder over what to bring over.

But at some point, the isle will speak to me, trees will sprout, grass will grow, and it will be named. And I will hide there as easily as I hid in Ravens Reach. The determined hider knows no bounds.

these are hard times to fall in love

The CEO of Blizzard Entertainment backed down; and a large part of why was covered over on Atomic PC and What You Did There: I See It. RealID will still be implemented in-game, and as many players have said, they're not at all averse to one forum identity tied to one particular avatar name.

And I get that, believe me--whenever I post in the Runes of Magic forums, I post under the overarching name of the account, not as my individual character names. And I'm fine with that.

I just don't want it to be my real name. And neither do most of Blizzard's paying users.

Auto-translators amuse me greatly some days:

[18:11] cesar Korpov: bien
[18:11] cesar Korpov: "well well",[["noun","good","sake","welfare","benefit"],["adjective","well","nice"],["adverb","well","good","right","properly","alright","nicely","rightly","true","amply","decently","prettily","tidily","thank you"]]

Good to know, I'm sure, but I'd go out on that metaphoric limb and claim with reasonable accuracy he meant "good".

Winterfell is having to close some sims--these days, isn't everyone?--but it's always refreshing to hear people enthused about new plans, rather than griping and complaining about potential moves and sim losses.

Did you know owls transform? Or at least that one does--it's a South African beastie, called the Southern White-Faced Scops Owl. They're not endangered by any means, but they're very hard to see--even with their white-feathered stomachs (the stomach feathers cannot be used in camouflage techniques) and their intense orange eyes, they can change their shape to be viewed as a younger bird, a larger bird, a thinner predator bird, or even a tree branch!

Club Mermaid is offering free mermaid AOs plus some simple tails at their NARITA location--but while I was there I found something I just couldn't stand to live without:



This is called the Goby Mer, which apparently is based on an actual fish, the Court Jester Goby.



The only thing I don't like on this mer is the fin, or, more precisely, the elongated oval sphere that attaches to the fin. It can be modified, but I'm nearly tempted to hire someone to make a fin-tail sculpted attachment that can then be sent to this creator with the instructions that I get one, textured to match the rest of the mer!



In the end, though, for L$300, it can't be beat. It's ideal with the scaled, attached top; the top blends perfectly with the rest of the fins, and many mer retreats and oceans on the grid are still PG, so that works out. Very little of the prim attachments need adjusting; some will, but it's dead easy to do. And it's kind of an all-in one--go to Club Mer, and even if you don't want to buy the Goby Mer, you've got a shot at a free mer AO, plus three or four free mer tails! Astounding.

All pictures were taken in my favorite sea, Rua, which is back to being multi-sim, decorated, and dreamy. They even have a mer dance club now! (Just remember, with the slow-fin dances and the cuddly sits, it is a PG environment. Proper behavior--and modest tops--rule in Rua.)

home, is this the quiet place where you should be alone?

The Second Big Bad Blogger Challenge post:

SL Bloggers - Write about three positive things going on in your Second Life.

RL Bloggers - Write about three positive things going on in your life.

I'm taking both of these, because it's never a bad thing to think of the positive things in any life.

So, three positive things going on in SL just now:

1. I got accepted to Operation Squeegee as a merchant. I have a couple ideas on things to do, and I have until the 1st of July to get them done. So it gives me a little time, and making new things is always a positive thing for me.

2. I have a new job. Finally, after months of not being able to pay rent on my parcels, I can pay rent on my parcels on my own, without help. This is a tremendous weight off my mind. Plus, I really like the people I'm working for--they are a smart, committed bunch of men and women who just want to enjoy good music and relaxing sims, with a lack of external drama. I'm all for that. I'm happy to be working for them.

3. I love my island in Winterfell. Luctus Isle is beautiful, and it feels very insular; it's got a small space to sleep, a place to write, a firepit with places to lounge and think and enjoy the twilight, and it's heavily wooded, with both natural and artificial trees. I have a mortar and pestle to grind grains for gruel or beans for coffee and a small clothesline to air-dry laundry. And there are a few other oddities, tucked here and there...

And three positive things going on in RL just now:

1. We found a local source for Greek yogurt. (Why yes, we do live in the sticks...sort of.) I have decided I really, really like Greek yogurt, because it reminds me of homemade yogurt, back when we used to make it. (At one point, we made practically everything we ate--either grew it, or harvested it, or traded for it. Eggs [chickens, doves, quail and turkeys], lamb [traded for], rabbit [some traded for the lamb], half acre of vegetables of various types, half acre of fruit trees, grapevines in the back for homemade wine and herb garden around the side in terraced wooden beds...we put everything up for preserves, practically, and made root beer and kim chee and harvested squaw tea and made our own mustards...Sometimes, I still miss it.)

2. We have the equivalent of a mobile lending library in the common room of our new apartment building. While the fare is weighted heavily towards spy novels and archeological horror, I've started reading more than occasionally again. Of course, that means I'm back to inhaling books--when I get going, I tend to read a book in five hours, so...I'm glad there's so many to pick from downstairs? I just wish someone liked sf more than they seem to--though if my tastes were weighted more towards the theological and government conspiracy angles, I'd be set.

3. Finally, I'm catching up (this month and last) with all the Doctor Who episodes I've missed. I am a hardcore fan of Dr. Who, but without cable, there wasn't much I could do. Then the episodes were picked up on Netflix, but I didn't have the time, ironically enough--until now. And now it's been absolutely marvelous catching up, watching the Doctor, catching all the little references...absolute joy. And I adore Stephen Moffat as a writer.

Just to wrap up, friend of mine linked me to the APB trailer , and all I can think right now is "Huh...privileged white kids looooove their ethnic gang violence." Still, technologically speaking, the level of customization possible is just insane; everything from skin color to scars and tattoos on that skin, age, muscle tone (or lack thereof), clothing, shoes, hair, eyebrows, expression, nail polish...all very, very well done. And if you don't like the color of the base layer? Change it. Pattern it. Flip logos on it; the program will fade them, age them, add wrinkles and shading. Just...insane level of work on the character creator for APB.

No interest in playing it, mind, but the game looks stunning as hell, frankly.

the difficult I'll do right now, the impossible will take a little while

I originally visited Reiko for the lucky boards:



because I wanted to stalk them on occasion, being as I likely could not afford to buy the dresses in the non-lucky versions.

I have to state formally, I was wrong. And pleased and happy to admit so!



First off, when you walk in, there are six dresses for free, plus a nifty little black-veiled hat.

Then there are the dresses themselves.



These come with the dress featured, in either red or green tartan (check the large picture for the green version), the shoes, the socks, and the small beret. For fifty Lindens, and that is not her sale price, that is her everyday price.



These could pass for Victorian young person (there's two more shown in the larger image).



These are definitely dollie outfits, and they come with the pantaloons, the bonnet, the cuffed socks, and I believe also come with the shoes. For--you guessed it--fifty Lindens, in white and pink (shown on the larger pic) and white and blue.

Not on the same topic, but I do have to state another intractable opinion on the blog:



I know, me, opinionated? Everyone's so shocked.

But seriously--if your name is ho Starflare, you are NOT ALLOWED to go ANYWHERE as a child av.



Especially if your concept of child-appropriate clothing includes tattoo layers, a ripped bra, Daisy Dukes of doom, and that much makeup.

Unless the look you're after is actually "Thai child prostitute", in which case, you've captured the look perfectly. Might need longer nails, maybe. And even most of them wear short skirts, not denim cut-offs.

Though--since I had my settings at 'show everything' instead of my usual chat/controls/HUDs off settings--check out the bit of preserved conversation in the lower left, in the larger image.

Fellow came in to the Solace Beach sales office. He wanted a house. We don't do that, we sell real estate for homes, but I tried to help him, and the first thing I did--the first thing I always do with these questions--was point him towards XStreet.

He honestly thought XStreet homes were only for mainland parcels.

I have two questions:

1. Who's telling newcomers that XStreet only sells goods for the mainland?

2. Who's telling people Solace Beach sells prefab homes?

Finally, I want to tell everyone, there's a new Radio Riel station, their fifth broadcast stream (and I'll be changing the music page and the in-world notecard I still give out to people to reflect this). It's called Reverie, and, while it's designed for stream play in Winterfell (and it will become Luctus Isle's standard stream the next time I'm home), anyone can use it to listen to medieval, pagan, and Celtic music and events.

(Good Day Sunshine sim before the repaving gig.)

For the past three weeks, whenever I have time, I have been building sidewalks on a commercial sim. This has taken so long because I'm basically figuring out techniques on the ground--I've been building for three years in SL, I'm not perfect by a long shot, but I think I can say I'm a good basic builder. But mostly, I align prims by eye; I move textures just enough to meet on the average; that's been good enough.

This is a commercial sim, though. So I've been getting into the math, working with planar textures, making sure textures are as perfectly seamed as I can manage. In a sim with round corners on almost every section, plus some sidewalks are four meters wide, some are eight meters wide, and at least one section is ten by twenty feet wide in a huge rectangle...and most of everything I'm doing, I'm doing in megaprims....It will get easier from here. But the first sim, I won't lie, it's been grueling.

(Good Day Sunshine sim after the repaving gig.)

Today, Lady Serra announced Reverie, and I flipped it up on the music stream, and three songs later, I had relaxed, and moved from corner to corner, seam to seam, and I managed to complete the final texture matching on a quarter of the sim. It's going well.

And I honestly think I couldn't have done it as well without Reverie. So this is my public thank you, to Radio Riel for consistently being the best at what they do; to Duchess Gabi for deciding Radio Riel could support five public streams; and to Lady Serra for giving her the idea and pushing her to finish it. It's lovely, it really is.

On that, back into SL to match more seams.

my sea is deeper than your lake

Here you sit on your high-backed chair
Wonder how the view is from there
I wouldn't know 'cause I like to sit
Upon the floor, yeah upon the floor

There's an art to waiting, or at least there used to be. It's not unnaturally akin to getting small woodland mammals to come close, or being still enough that butterflies will alight on bright clothing, seeking nectar of the flower they think they've found.

If you like we could play a game
Let's pretend that we are the same
But you will have to look much closer
Than you do, closer than you do

I am no flower--at least, not this week--and I am seeking not to confuse the natural world, but to listen to it. Or maybe it's my own heart I'm struggling to hear, and the difficulty is that it's fallen silent.

And I'm far too tired to stay here anymore
And I don't care what you think anyway
'Cause I think you were wrong about me
Yeah, what if you were? What if you were?

So I must be patient. I must sit, and make no loud noises, and make no large movements; I must wait until I hear it again, until I can see the edges of it, close enough to touch again. I must move without moving, and listen to everything. Waiting. Watching. Looking for signs.

And what if I'm a snowstorm burning?
What if I'm a world unturning?
What if I'm an ocean? Far too shallow, much too deep?

Maybe just a sign, one sign. Or tracks, that tell me this path has been used before, and as I slip along it, steps hushed and silent, I will not snap branches under unwary feet, I will not startle whatever creeps beside me in the undergrowth.

What if I'm the kindest demon,
Something you may not believe in?
What if I'm a siren, singing gentlemen to sleep?

Somewhere, there is fear.

Somewhere, within the reach of recent memory, there was a collapse. I know I'm still excavating, finding out what's been damaged, finding out how deep the wounding goes. And me being me, I'm doing all this while conducting the life in progress--a process that is driving more than a few of my friends and dear ones bats in the process.

I know you've got it figured out
Tell me what I am all about
And I just might learn a thing or two
Hundred about you, maybe about you

If I've been harmed, they tell me, that's the time to pause, to stop, to call a halt and not progress. Deal with it. Live in that moment of wounding, learn from it, heal it, before moving on.

I don't work like that. I never have. Perhaps that's part of the problem.

I'm the end of your telescope
I don't change just to suit your vision
'Cause I am bound by a fraying rope
Around my hands, tied around my hands

An example from the world beyond the screen to make this clear:

My uncle died, some years back. We were all devastated. And as these things go, the family gathered. What did we do? Did we weep and carry on, did we rage against the injustice, did we break down, inconsolable and heartbroken?

And you close your eyes when I say I'm breaking free
And put your hands over both your ears
Because you cannot stand to believe I'm not
The perfect girl you thought
Well, what have I got to lose?

No, actually. We rented four films and sat in my aunt's living room, telling jokes, relating stories, getting up now and then for refreshments, wine, other nibbles. Whenever emotion threatened to overwhelm, we took those moments, meeting each others' eyes, breathing through it. Composing ourselves.

Strength through suppression, mayhap. Or that silent reminder not to act inappropriate, even during moments of grief.

And what if I'm a weeping willow
Laughing tears upon my pillow?
What if I'm a socialite, who wants to be alone?

The woman who'd married my male cousin watched this for more than two hours and finally snapped. "Why aren't you crying?" she screamed at us. "Someone you love has DIED, you need to DEAL with that!"

And to a person, the family stared at her. Utter incomprehension and confusion on every single face. Because we don't do things that way.

We never have. None of us, in that moment, even comprehended there might be other ways to do things.

What if I'm a toothless leopard?
What if I'm a sheepless shepherd?
What if I'm an angel, without wings to take me home?

Emotionally--and this has been hard for more than a few people to understand--I'm much more accessible on the grid than off. Off, all the rules of the family come into play. Don't stand out. Don't make a fuss. Don't argue in public, that one's always been huge. Also don't ever raise your voice. Don't talk back. Don't throw things. Don't express yourself in negative ways.

And the big one, for me and the other "children" in the family: If you can't say it rationally, don't say it. Go off and calm down first. That's always been the chief rule on all the rule lists.

You don't know me
You never will, you never will--
I'm outside your picture frame
And the glass is breaking now--

So, in my way, I continue. The daily routines proceed according to procedure, the conversations interrupted by prior pain are back on track. Maybe it's an unconscious holdover from a very British stepmother and a very reserved paternal grandmother, too--that staid English sense of "Carry on, carry on". Who knows, really?

You can't see me
You never will, you never will--
If you're never gonna see--

There are people working on these things with me. And slowly, I'm learning the rules the rest of the planet operates on, but it's very much like learning a difficult third language--I don't understand the rules yet, and I know nothing about the customs of the people, and I've barely mastered the second language I learned, enough to speak it in pidgin. This? This is all new to me.

What if I'm a crowded desert
Too much pain, with little pleasure?
What if I'm the nicest place you'd never want to go?

But that also leaves me in a continuing state of denial--because if I'm back on track, why deal with the things that hurt? And if I'm back on track, then I'm not damaged. Right?

And nothing could be further from the truth. I'm slowly catching on that this attitude is not survival instinct--it's the mental and emotional equivalent of binding the two broken legs and attempting to walk on them anyway, and pretending I'm getting somewhere when I'm not.

What if I don't know who I am?
Will that keep us both from trying
To find out? And when you have
Be sure to let me know...

Sooner or later, I'll need to deal with the broken limbs, and rest, and let them heal. And it will take the time it takes, and I'm only making it longer by pretending that everything is okay. But that is not what I know, that never feels "normal"--whatever "normal" is or can be as a qualifier for me. This is proving more difficult than I anticipated.

What if I'm a snowstorm burning?
What if I'm a world unturning?
What if I'm an ocean? Far too shallow, much too deep?

But if I do one thing well, I endure. Together, alone, supported or felled by circumstance. I endure. I manage, somehow, to survive.

I will again. And I will find my path. And I will balance the losses with the gains and see where I am.

But it will take time. And that time, itself, may end up being a limiting factor.

What if I'm the kindest demon,
Something you may not believe in?
What if I'm a siren, singing gentlemen to sleep?
Sleep...
Sleep...

So there you go.

Meanwhile, I'm settling very well indeed into Winterfell, and have spent my time happily planting mushrooms and poppies on Luctus Isle. (Well, the time I'm not spending repaving Solace Beach, that is.) But Miss Sumie's Darkhouse has been noticed:

[17:12] Iskrin Nightfire: hello neighbour!
[17:14] Emilly Orr: Greetings!
[17:15] Iskrin Nightfire: somehow your lighthouse reminds me of the Eye of Sauron! Very cool!
[17:15] Emilly Orr giggles
[17:15] Emilly Orr: If it ever starts blinking, let me know. That might need to be attended to.
[17:15] Iskrin Nightfire laughs
[17:16] Iskrin Nightfire: I have a palantir hanging around somewhere... I'll keep an eye on it!

Indeed. That thing grows an eye, we're ALL going to be in trouble.

(Lyrics are from Emilie Autumn's song, "What If".)