Friday, September 23, 2016

screaming, crying, perfect storms

Somewhere in Spain, there's an abandoned doll factory the locals believe is cursed. I'm not saying whether it is or isn't; I'm saying that it doesn't matter whether it is, because the pictures on their own are nightmare fuel.

If you really want to be haunted, what about a few photographs of abandoned toys...from Chernobyl? Twenty-five years and counting, and it's only getting worse. The insect life and plants are also getting very strange.

In other news, I heard tell of a haunted TARDIS, so of course I had to investigate. I'm so glad that I did.

Just from the outset, any Doctor Who fan who's also rated to visit Adult-rated sims should absolutely visit this haunt, for the pictures alone, if nothing else. It doesn't just focus on the Time Lords, either; the Companions are well and truly represented.

In fact, scattered throughout there are some of the villains from the show. It's truly a fan's paradise, in that sense.

The console is...strange. Divination by design, where it would be more art than science to maneuver this TARDIS through time and space. Runes for travel, runes for the wheel of the year, runes for storms coming--well, perhaps that's not exactly surprising, considering all manifestations of the Doctor.

Material pleasures, utter devastation, and large life changes--I'm not sure I want to see the other two cards. And a Ouija board for part of the controls? That's not safe, unless one is only trying to reach other haunted spaces.

Certainly an inviting corner, to be sure.

If one has sounds on, one is treated to additional intrigues--sourceless crying, of a Companion in distress? Shattering glass from a hallway whose windows only show stars. The ceaseless cries of "Let me IN!" in a growling, masculine voice.

Part of the conceit of this haunt is the attempt, on part of visitors, to locate the lost Time Lord. There are few clues, and perhaps the mystery is more intended to haunt, itself, than to be solved.

Can Daleks become waterlogged and cease functioning? Or is their armor plating sealed from the elements? Could this Dalek function if removed from the tank?

All in all, there is every reason for a fan with a lure towards the macabre to visit. There are secrets I'm choosing not to reveal, because the exploration is part of the fun. Do try to investigate every nook and cranny if you go; I think you'll genuinely enjoy it.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

is there a silence on this earth before every tear's been cried?

Europa's oceans may have an "Earthlike" chemical balance. And this coming Monday, September 26th, NASA's going to hold a press conference to announce evidence of "surprising activity" on Europa. So watch for that.

In other news, peripheral serotonin--AKA, serotonin produced in places other than the brain--is apparently a thing. I did not know this. In even more surprising news, it's been discovered that humans have a "second brain"--a collection of neurons and neurotransmitting fibers lining the walls of our alimentary canals--that help to control moods and behaviors. Thankfully it doesn't actually think, but it does feel, and we react to those feelings. That's...well, I wanted to say mind-boggling, but--which one?

Moving on to other matters. In Wish Master, there's an Adult-rated sim called the Haunted Home of Frankenstein. I was curious, so I went.

Graveyard, swamp shack, haunted house, crypt, orphanage, insane asylum...everything's here. All the cliches. All the tropes. All the same boring skeletons in the same boring closets.

There's a fairly good soundscape, but it gets repetitive, too.

Granted, it's a slight transition from the expected to have the haunted asylum open to the elements, but...not enough.

And why clowns? Why does the haunted orphanage always have clowns? (Though this fellow, he was from the crypt in the graveyard.)

Bleh. I am so, so very tired of seeing this Alice mesh...

Is it me? Is it just that Octoberville won't be around this year? Am I looking for a similar experience to the Japanese hunt-haunts, to the rich pageantry of Octoberville puzzles? Am I judging all these haunts too harshly? What am I seeking?

Whatever it is, whatever it may end up being...Haunted House of Frankenstein didn't have it. I'm not saying it's a bad haunt, just...a very expected one.

I could show you incredible things

I don't know if anyone is interested, but there's a free 'gift cauldron' at Foxes that gives out Halloween masks. Full-head ones. There's a zombie unicorn, two rabbits, two cats, and two skulls to collect. It's random. (And yes, you can keep clicking until you get the one you want, or go for all of them.)

Also, here's a unique SL problem brought to RL a very funny, if NSFW, way.

In the meantime, I heard of a lighthouse in St. John Woods, and of course I had to check it out.

It took a long time to rez anything in. Afterwards, it grew increasingly hard to move.

There are so many fascinating things in the lighthouse. Art, masks, strange animals, clockworks. Skeletons and mounted insects, pottery, glass cases with even more interesting things. Books upon books upon books. So very many things to look at, to peruse.

The fire is warming, though, after the chill of the night rain, the ticking of the clock very soothing.

Two gramophones. Why two? And that very odd puppet...and the even odder eel-like creature in the case...

More books, insects, anatomical skeletons, ledgers, and...another odd puppet.

I've never seen a spread quite like this. I admit, I sat for some time, sipping marrow tea, trying to puzzle it out. The closest I could remember was only a five-card spread, not a seven--those five cards being The Question, What You Know Now, What You Don't See, The Advice, and the End Result. So, if I interpret using that, I get the setting aside of all distractions, the embrace of innate talents, the vital, elemental nature of magic, the source of creativity, and the use of talent for making what's imagined, The Question; community, conviviality, friendship, support, embracing common goals, and the value of pleasure and hospitality for What You Know Now; ignorance, willful blindness, despair and negative thinking, embracing the physical over the spiritual, and acceptance of abuse for What You Don't See; the quest for the new and different, visions and premonitions, rallying the group, planning ahead, and seeking out adventure for The Advice; and self-control, restraint, sacrifice for the good cause, independent, positive action, tact and diplomacy, grace and achievement, and finesse for the End Result.

Assuming I'm right that it's that kind of spread at all, and considering I don't know the question originally asked, nor how the bottom two cards--taking stock of things, checking the course, reflecting on progress to date, and the new path, the beginning of all things, the impulsiveness of youth, the innocence of trust--relate to the rest of it at all.

Would I recommend a visit to the lighthouse? Absolutely. It's not a haunt in the traditional sense; there are no shades rattling chains, no screaming at random intervals, no reaching, skeletal hands to snag the unwary. But what it does have is atmosphere in spades. It's like walking into a world traveler's den, and wondering on their adventures, feeling as if every single item in every bookshelf, on every table, inside every glass case, could tell its own story. And those stories would be wonderful.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

for you, for you, I would hold a deadly viper in my hand

The info box for Haunted Isle read:
"Haunted Isl! creepy, spooky, dark Island. Dragon Tour Rides - 7Seas Fishing. Vampire RP Dongeon !Fear the Zombies! Enjoy high country in the snow. Open Land, public.
Oh, dear gods.

Okay. Here we go again.

Wait...I have been here before...haven't I?

One of the Dragon boats used to ferry visitors around the sim.

No, the trees are different, the plants, but...damn, this is familiar.

The inside of the main house...the furnishings are different, of course, but the layout's the same...because the build is the same.

Well, that face is not conducive to resting.

Eldritch lights fill the woods, sliding between the the dark trees like ultraviolet shadows. Pretty in its own way...

There are some quiet spots, tucked around and about, perfect for photo ops. This one has popcorn and wine.

So, I did some quick scanning whilst out of the rain, found out that this build comes from Pandemonium, and this makes the third entry this year that's using it.

Don't get me wrong, I adore Ms. Quintessa's builds,'s so odd to see one of them everywhere.

And then the zombies got me, so...any other secrets of this build, you'll have to find for yourself.

My conclusion? If you like atmosphere, if you like people who've put some thought into their might like this one. It's not a story place, it's more an experience place, and sure, they take a few stumbles, but for the most part, it's well-put-together, and nicely done.

Even if it's the third time I've seen the build.

we're used to repetition, so we drew up a petition

There was something listed only as the Haunted Sim, aka--once I arrived--the "Rustic Retreat". Also on Adult land.

This place looks so familiar. Have I been here before, too?

I don't remember the shark...

I definitely don't remember the dead guy. Or the giant spider eggs...

I do remember the Leviathan torch, though. Could it be that they're using the same set pieces as Deadman's Island?

Huh. Plane crash. An emergent American cargo cult? Though perhaps the rest of Dynasty City isn't American, that could be my bias showing...

Nope. Zombies tell me this is American. Or at least, that they're American.

There's a lot going on at this haunt, areas I didn't cover. I may have to go back when I'm not searching for good settings for the contest entry for Fallen Gods. Do I think it's a good use of your time? Yeah, I think so. At least for wandering and photo ops, if not serious fear. I'd say, if you're up for a wander, or looking for good haunted photos, take the chance. I think it's well done.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight

Another day, another haunt...on another Adult sim.

This one, however, is somewhat unusual. It's steeped in atmosphere, in history, in low, ankles-brushing fog that moves restlessly over the autumn grounds. Also, it's using the actual Silent Peacock Hotel build from the Madpea hunt of the same name.

There's a small hedge garden, a glass-framed, open-air chapel off to the side, before one reaches the hotel itself.

Of course, inside the hotel, there is some evidence of foul play...

...and up on the top floor, there's....something...moving behind the walls...

I could easily have made this a twenty-image post. There are chairs inside the hotel, lounges outside, pews in the chapel--endless opportunities walking the grounds and in the buildings for photos or even freeform RP. If you're interested in deeply atmospheric haunts, set your viewers to estate time and walk the grounds of the Haunted Silent Peacock Hotel. I doubt you'll be disappointed.

hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

You know that group I've blogged on in the past, the one that's primarily for freebies and sales for endowed ladies? They're at it again:
[18:17] Bxxxxx Cxxxxxxx: submissive slut ready to be used
[18:17] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: whooooooa
[18:18] Cxxxxxxx Jxxxxx: tmi
WAAAAY TMI, there, B. Hold your horses.
[18:18] Sxxxxxxx Cxxxx: Lol
[18:18] Cxxxxxxx Jxxxxx: hahahhahahaha
[18:18] Sxxxxx Rxxxx: Who cares?
[18:18] Sxxxxx Gxxxxxxxx: lmfao
[18:18] Txxxxxx Fxxxxxxxxxxx: umm wrong chat? (I hope)
Well, obviously, wrong chat. The interesting thing is, this isn't the first time it's happened.
[18:18] Gxxx Exxxxxxxx: Might not be the right group for that. [18:18] mxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: This is not the chat for that [18:18] Sxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Wrong group for that. [18:18] Uxxxxxx Pxxxxxx: COME CLEAN MY HOUSE!! [18:18] cxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wonderful, take it elsewhere
Pretty much. I mean, most of my groups contain kinky people--not usually openly advertised, but lists of groups, attire that nearly always features collars, occasional slips of 'Yes Sir' or 'Yes Miss'--it's pretty prevalent in SL, and it's no big deal.

What's unique about this one is not the slip, it's the intent. She was openly advertising. Why would she advertise in a group comprised mainly of women, unless that was exactly the target audience she was looking for?
[18:18] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hunny no [18:18] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol [18:18] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: kneel before me [18:18] mxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: o.O [18:18] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: we talk abt skin not being in just skin
Actually, that's not entirely true either. We've discussed, in depth, nipple sizes, areolae shading, the differences in nipple styles between implant brands, how well the nipple shading complements the shading on lower skin bits. We've even discussed the demensions, shading and hues of lower bits.

The difference, though, between skin and bits comparison, and open invitations for sex, is pretty vast, though. So in that sense, she's right.
[18:18] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I need to put my legs up [18:18] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol [oxxxxx] [18:18] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: calm down hunny [18:18] sxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: haha wrong chat dearie [18:18] Mxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: might not be right chat [18:18] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wtf [18:18] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: not in this group [18:18] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: SL is nuts :)
Nearly always.
[18:18] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: let's share, [oxxxxx]. i could use a house cleaning [18:18] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol [18:19] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: in rl or sl? [18:19] wxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: omg really in this chat shake my head [18:19] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [bxxxx], how are your vacuuming skills?
I guarantee you, that wasn't the kind of "use" she was seeking.
[18:19] axxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: well, if you're interested my inventory needs some cleaning, hit me up [18:19] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: rofl yall got no chill [18:19] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I got a long list of chores
If anyone ever invents a way for an inventory to be completely neatened and organized, they're going to make a mint selling it.
[18:19] Sxxx Jxxx: wow omg [18:19] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: never, [Sxxxxx], never ever [18:19] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: taken care of [18:19] wxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I think she has been! [18:19] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that was nuts [18:19] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol [18:19] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hahahahaha [18:20] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: it was funny [18:20] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Absolutely no call for that!
Mr. F's our resident stick-in-the-mud. Intractable, dogmatic, moralistic, quick to judgement--but when he's not coming to snap conclusions, he's actually a really good group mod, which is why he still is one, in a lot of groups.
[18:20] hxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: not like we all haven't fallen out of the box probably was an accident [18:20] Sxxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: that made my day [18:20] Fxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: even if it was the wrong group they could have said opps or something [18:20] hxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no need to get panties or boxers in a [18:20] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ikr [18:20] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: made my day too [18:20] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: they can IM me then and explain
I doubt she will. Or did, considering when this happened.
[18:20] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hahahaha i needed a laugh [18:20] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I think they were embarrassed [18:20] hxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she was probably mortified she made a mistake....
Maybe. But then again...
[18:20] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i doubt it was wrong group
Yeah, when I think about it? I think she was hoping for a big-breasted dominant lesbian, frankly.
[18:21] Fxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: omg ive made mistake...not like that one but ive been embarrassed too rofl [18:21] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: looked more to me like advertising her services
[18:21] hxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no need to be a hard ass about it...we all make mistakes and say the wrong thing in the wrong box... [18:21] Txxx Rxxx: can i get on the house cleaning list xD [18:21] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hahahah it was the best joke all night [18:21] Fxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hehe [Txxxxxx] :D [18:21] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I cleaned house.. just deleted all on the land :)
Eep. Well...that's one way to do it, I suppose...
[18:22] Txxx Rxxx: xP [18:22] Txxx Rxxx: i really do need help decorating tho :P [18:22] Jxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Its not our responsibility (group members) to know what group they have taking focus, should leave that option alone. [18:23] hxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wha???? [Jxxxx], lighten up, was a mistake....I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose.....have you never said anything you regretted in the wrong box??? [18:24] Txxx Rxxx: omg i do all the time [18:24] Lxxxx Wxxxxx: there was this one time at band camp... [18:24] Txxx Rxxx: haha [18:24] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: what a day [18:24] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: its been the only convo I've had all day long in sl.. grrrrr
We've been having group chat failures. That transient chat glitch that's been going around for the years?!? Still not fixed yet.
[18:24] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i said to the pizza place thet i wanted to eat sausage [18:25] hxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: have a great night ya'll..... [18:25] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: n a note that said...wrong person u texted [18:25] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: rofl [18:25] Fxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yummy [Sxxxxx] i wants some!! [18:26] axxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I almost always say I love you to the pizza place [18:26] Sxxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxxx: lol [18:26] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: never made tht mistake again
Well, at least if you tell the pizza place you want to eat sausage, they'll ask if you want anything else on the pizza. Usually.
[18:26] axxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: like "k, bye, love ya" [18:26] Lxxxx Wxxxxx: we have a local radio commercial here that the opening is "are you having a sausage party, come on over, we have qualified girls that can help you" [18:26] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hahahahahah [18:26] Lxxxx Wxxxxx: I died [18:26] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hahahaha [18:26] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: seriously [18:26] Gxxx Oxxxxxx: when I was a noob, I did make a mistake of wrong message in the wrong group. Took me a month to live it hot emote in the family group will do you, you know... [18:26] Lxxxx Wxxxxx: It was for the local butchery
Oh, wau, I was thinking it was hire-out strippers. I wouldn't have even considered an actual meat market. That's a clever ad!
[18:27] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i was listening to a songg and the guy kept saying he wants to marry that pussy i was like waaat [18:28] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: my daughter was like...mommy who marries a cat [18:28] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hahahaha [18:28] oxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wtf [18:28] bxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: rofl it jus popped on the radio
And I admit, I was curious, I had to look the song up. Turns out it's an R. Kelly number, which has a nicely melodic rhythm and blues, ballad kind of feel, and some nominally NSFW lyrics.

That's what I get for being curious, I suppose.

Monday, September 19, 2016

it's only half past the point of no return

CHANCES HAUNTED HOUSE 2016!!!, the sign shrilled at me. Hmm. Well, let's give it a go, at least.

Cannibal kitchen, check.

Human meat and bugs, check.

Alice in the chair, check.

Okay, this is somewhat new--combining the mad scientist's lab, the haunted attic, the haunted schoolhouse, AND the body under the rug into one area!

I'm not saying that's good, mind...but it's new.

I'd say...there's some good poses in some of the furnishings, a few photo ops, but for the most part, this one plays with concepts that are pretty tired out. Go if you want, but don't expect to be dazzled by originality.

I put my soul in what I do

All right, I have some dread about this next one, and not the usual haunted house fears. Let me show you what I mean by quoting their event introduction:
babygirls nightmares

great for a fantasticly spooky time
movies maze haunted house monsters
jig games
cuddles and sexy time places
good for the dd/bg or any couple
or just a group of friends
Hmm. Okay, so for anyone who doesn't yet know--and this particular haunt is on Adult-rated land, one would assume for activities throughout the rest of the year--DD/lg (sometimes, as here, DD/bg) has taken off in a rather large way on SL. The acronym stands for Daddy Dom/little girl, or Daddy Dom/babygirl, and basically refers to a form of ageplay (ooh, I know, that Dreaded Word) wherein the dominant plays a father figure (or mother; "Mommy Dommes" use the acronym Cg/l for the most part, standing for Caregiver/little) and the submissive plays their child, ward, adopted urchin, what-have-you.

How does this differ from the 'average' ageplay, which is pretty much banned grid-wide? First, no child avatars are used. Second, though the submissive may engage in childlike behaviors--coloring, collecting stuffed animals, using pacifiers and "sippy cups", just to name a few--when sex is involved, it is always as adult to adult. (And throughout most of the DD/lg community RL, that holds true as well--the 'daddies' do not take underage, unconsenting bodies, but adult bodies capable of full consent.

Nevertheless, this particular form of BDSM squicks a great many people, and, while the Lindens have not yet stomped it flat, they may take a whim to do so. Sims like this, then, function in the hinterland of not being well understood, so are largely left alone.

But to the haunt! From the landing point, there are unearthly moans, growls, squeals and howls, and the land itself seems the standard vibrant purple/orange/acid green of more commercial haunts. Hmm...let's see if that impression changes.

Happy little ghosties, multicolored waters, big spooky spiders wandering in small prescribed really is sort of a child's fantasy of Halloween.

Campfire, complete with spangled blanket fort for cuddles from the spooks.

Ran into a well on my way from the campfire, and actually got startled by the girl that leapt out of the water. I had to wait for the effect to leave, then rez again before I caught what she was saying. Using a quote from one of my favorite bad movies for the sound, that was inspired.

Soooo much color on this parcel...though that dog-like, stitched thing is genuinely unnerving.

Speaking of unnerving...armed teddy bears? No thank you!

There is a parcel locked off to a particular group where their...uh...unicorns are kept, but beyond that, it's a wide, expansive haunt full of fun, bright colors, places to rest (or cuddle), and occasional jump-scares. I'm surprised in that I'm actually recommending this as a haunt stop for the year. It's a lot of fun, and well worth the time it will take to wander.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

what would you do, do, do?

We rejoin our previous coverage, already in progress.

In the library upstairs, Alice straitjacket model ripped from the second American McGee's Alice game, check.

And large pustulent Boomer ripped from one of the Left 4 Dead games, check. What I don't get: the bling on the bloody wooden club studded with nails. The bright blue sparkly stars flying out of the floating books. The floating books were very well done, hint of glow, so...was the rest really needed?

Sitting in the nursery, two things occurred to me: first, that this room was, again, rather well done. Sure, haunted nursery, seen it before, but the translucent blue floating toys, that was neatly done.

But second, and this is VERY important--if you're going to explicitly say "no sex" in your event description, don't put a sex bed in the childrens' nursery. Just...don't do it, be smart about these things.

Oh, dear gods:

[21:25] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: screms
[21:25] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: daddys
[21:25] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: yus ?
[21:25] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i gets gums in you hars
[21:25] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx giggles cutely
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i smelys down hers
[21:26] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: ewww look
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you farts
[21:26] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: No!
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: why it stinkys

[21:26] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: because of that man there
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ewwws
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: he needs bafs
[21:26] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: see thats what happens when you swallow bubble gum

[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no :(
[21:27] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: yikes
[21:27] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: daddys dont puts me in that cage

I loathe affected baby talk, and, as I've said before, it's because I and my friends at that age did not devolve into this affected baby patois, so it always hits my ear as unnecessary, overly precious--in the very worst sense of the world--and a measure of the avatar's intelligence, or extreme lack thereof. There is more to this haunt than the one path leading up to the one house, but after this conversation, I fled. Nothing in this house would have made me run away, but--these two did, at speed.

Overall, I'd say it's an overdone haunt with several overused cliches, but it also has some good things here and there. If you're up for winnowing through the obnoxious to get to the nice, feel free. Elsewise, move along to the next haunt experience.

couldn't take all this anymore

NASA's saying that the astrological houses number not twelve, but thirteen. The Twitterverse immediately became enraged, posting loud and long about the injustice of it all. There are only two problems with this:
  1. The thirteenth house, Ophiuchus, has been known for millenia, it's just largely been ignored as inconvenient. And
  2. As far as the actual, scientific star positions changing, NASA's absolutely right.
Okay, but what does this all mean to the casual layman? Not a darn thing. Because astrology isn't science. It's as valid as reading tea leaves, or Tarot cards, or any of a double-dozen other forms of divination where interpretation matters far more than practical application.

Anyway, to the haunt. The name under SL search said "Viper's Haunted Halloween". The description? Every horror cliche thrown into a blender and set on frappe:
"Halloween, Haunted, Ghost, Zombie, scary, Death, Angels Asylum, Nursery, Spooky, Butcher, creepy, haunted House, Cementary, Insanity, Pumpkins, Death- Army, Graveyard,Walking Dead, Creatures, Maneater,Forestlo, LostSouls,apocalypse, horror, no sex,"
That is a direct quote, bad grammar left intact.

But...I'm a completionist, so I went.

Yep. Standing at the corner of Seen It and It's Been Done Before, so far. I'm hearing loud male laughter, children singing the theme from Poltergeist, random ghostly moaning, bits of Tubular Bells, and chainsaw noises. As if they couldn't understand which sound to use, so used them all at once.

These are some really good pumpkin glows, though.

The front yard of their haunted mansion, also...very nice. Nicely atmospheric. This haunt may be improving.

The burning divination table was well done, and the chair that levitates, then smashes into pieces? Very nice touch.

And then, we returned to the land of cliche. Hot dogs? Really? Not even a cannibal kitchen, just a kitchen with a food stand in it operated by a cannibal. What's the going rate to rent part of a kitchen these days?

Basement asylum. Of course. Complete with mutants, blood-spattered "doctors", and flies buzzing around badly decaying corpses. How...trite.

And we will adjourn to the second part, for the remaining images.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

and time can heal but this won't, so if you’re coming my way just don’t

(continued from part one)

Another graveyard, drifting in and out of fog.

Err...wait. Everything made sense in theme until the clown. And the bound bandaged man. And the stake awaiting victims. What?

Most of said mansion is the same, just a few additional touches, here and there.

There's something odd about this mirror, too. Not to mention the baby-parts candle in front of it.

And whose handprint is this on the window? More to the point...whose blood was used to make it?

All in all, this sim is well worth wandering. It's spooky, only occasionally trite (I'm pointing at you, clown), and perfect for pictures nearly everywhere. Make the time to visit if you can.

did you think it all through? all these things will catch up to you

Deadman's Island called to me, so off I went to wander.

The ground is rough and uneven, the earth dark and lifeless. Only sere grasses and black-leaved trees grow in the cold earth. The shade of the last ship to crash still slowly sinks into the still waters of a small cove.

An abandoned mine revealed skeletons, over-scavenged remains of treasure piles, and spiderwebs big enough to hold some really terrifying spiders.

Screaming shades in the graveyard do not bode well for the health of the island...

Wait...I believe I've been here before. The land has changed in the intervening year...but that house is very familiar...

(continued in part two)

the collision of your kiss

The Crones Garden Main Store & Voodoo Moon Clan Swamps, the land said, coming in. Wait, is this a haunted house, or a Bloodlines clan sim? It looks more like a Bloodlines clan sim, but...I am endeavoring to put judgement aside, for the nonce. Onward I go.

After finding, and leaving, several clearly clan-only lands, I think I found the haunt. It was very, very loud with booming thunder and some sort of...deep base drone of some kind? No idea what it was.

That's my kind of welcome mat.

The art's a tad bit disturbing, as well...

Haunted TV, check...just when I had hopes that this was going to be a less tired haunt.

I'd say also, creepy clown, check, but this one's a clown doll...that's slightly different, and not as cliched.

Also very creepy.

Wau, some really disturbing framed art. Nicely done.

It's not a bad house, overall. I'd recommend setting sounds to minimal, because of the loud booming noises which become very repetitive, but...there are some very subtle squeaks and unearthly giggles that would be missed if that was done, so...I can't say one way or the other. I suppose it will all come down to how into loud drones and shaking metal sounds you are.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

but just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die

At After the Fall, I found a supposedly "Spooky interactive" haunted house. Sure, why not?

And of course it starts off with a haunted TV. On the floor. Just...on the floor.


The chair is eating me! Well, to be fair, I should have known, it said it was a Hungry Chair...

And now I am a salad.

"This way"...complete with black-as-pitch corridor, ridiculously bright bloody footprints, and drippy letters written in blood.

"Come if you dare"...because the first set of bloody footprints didn't scare off intruders, so the second one would, of course. Right?

And now it's simply "Beware" the dark, more nearly glowing footprints, oooh, scaaaary.

And, of course, there's a basement lab for mad science. Sure.

Because everyone stores barrels of toxic waste in their basements. Happens all the time.

So, here's my question after all of that: where are all the original ideas? At this point, it feels like it's all been done--multi-floor mansion for no apparent reason, unexplained random spooks, the cannibal kitchens, the destroyed nurseries, the mad scientist in the basement or the Thing in the Cage somewhere...Is it just me? I want backstories. I want to know why the haunts are there. I don't want the evil Satanic ritual in the childrens' wing, I don't want carnivorous cooks, I don't want haunted TVs, we've done this. Done it to, you'll pardon the phrasing, to death.

There were a few cute touches, for which I was glad. The wheelchair in the nursery, child-sized: that was a neat touch. The static ball, that was pretty neat, too. While dated, the head-on-the-platter table, that was actually pretty cool. And the grounds were attractive and atmospheric.

But along with that, the sheer randomness of the rest was slightly irritating. Why did the bathroom mirror say "Redrum"? What does it refer to, because there's no other trace of The Shining in the entire place? Why the mad science in the basement? Why the toxic waste? There's no point to any of it.

At least give me haunted spaces with some attempt at a backstory, or failing that, some sense of unity. That's all I ask.