cruel tricks of romance degraded by their spite

This one's a doozy.

So I was hugging a very close friend at the Chelsea Hotel, when a stranger walked up and IMed me.

[13:48] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lookin good
[13:48] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Thank you.
[13:49] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: my pleasure

I didn't see a real need to respond to that, especially as said close friend was leading me upstairs to his apartment, so we could sit, and cuddle for a bit, and talk out the issues of the day. But seven minutes later:

[13:56] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: emily is it
[13:57] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Emilly, yes.
[13:59] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: pretty name to compliment the face

I'm not stupid. I knew he was coming on to me. I also knew I wasn't exactly giving "Yes, take me now!" answers. Plus, I'd pulled his profile in the intervening time.



All the pages are like this. No bio. No picture. No groups. No picks. No FL bio. No FL image.

Nothing. Man's a completely blank.

[13:59] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: im [cxxx]

Of course you are.

[13:59] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Hi, [Cxxx].
[14:00] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: (takes one of your hands, kissing lightly)
[14:00] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: a bit better acquainted right
[14:01] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): A bit, yes.
[14:01] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) smiles.

I'm still waiting for the play...

[14:03] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: pretty smile too i see
[14:03] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: seems were both enjoying the hotel
[14:04] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Well, they do a lot of poetry readings here.
[14:05] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: the artistic type eh
[14:05] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I dabble, but there are some really good poets here.
[14:07] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ya dont say
[14:07] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): You just missed a big gathering, actually. They were reading in voice.

They were. I missed most of it, sadly, but I was glad to hear what I did. There's some really phenomenal poets on the grid.

[14:10] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: were they
[14:11] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i enjoy the arts myself
[14:11] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: including poetry
[14:11] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: seems we have something in common

...Good? I mean, I'm still looking for the angle...I know it's coming.

[14:11] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Then you're in the right place.
[14:12] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: what is your favorite poetic style to use
[14:14] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Well, I personally write prose, but I love blank verse and villanelles.
[14:18] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i like both, tho i have to admit I prefer poetry
[14:18] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: something about it
[14:18] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: stirs the emotions ya know
[14:18] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods
[14:18] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Many do.

In fact, the friend I was, at this point, hanging out on a couch with upstairs, has had this debate with me--is free verse poetry, or is it just rearrangement? As a largely prose writer who employs free verse, I'm on the side of, it is another school of poetry. (He is not. It's a fun thing to discuss now and again.)

[14:27] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: one of my favorite authors has always been c.s. lewis
[14:27] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: tho for more than he's famous for
[14:28] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if you havent read some of his poetry you should check it out
[14:28] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): C.S. Lewis is decent, yes.

Which is all I felt comfortable saying...Tell me someone's a fan of the Narnia books, I'll nod, but tell me they're a fan of C.S. Lewis' poetry, or essays--both largely religious--well, I will get a specific impression in my head, and it's usually tied to 'smile and back away slowly'.

This is likely unjust, but it's the first thing that comes to mind.

Much later:

[14:42] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: a girl's got good taste
[14:42] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) smiles
[14:42] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: who's your favorite poet
[14:43] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Walt Whitman

Hands down, that will always be my answer.

[14:43] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: another genius
[14:43] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: he has some good quotes too
[14:43] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): He does
[14:44] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: like his thoughts on god are really interesting
[14:44] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i dont think they were judao christian tbh
[14:44] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): They are, yes.
[14:44] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: he saw god as cruel

Well...I mean, if you read the book...

[14:44] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Who, Whitman? He wasn't.
[14:44] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and it reflects in his poems
[14:47] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: didnt think so
[14:54] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: on the darker side, i think poe and lovecraft have some good stuff too
[14:54] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: while we're still on whats classic
[14:54] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ive dabbled in alot of different genres so im inspired by alot
[14:54] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: and ongoing
[14:54] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: with newer writers
[15:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods
[15:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I adore Poe and Lovecraft
[15:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And Wilson

Turns out I meant to say "Chambers", the author of the King in Yellow, and somehow crossed wires with Robert Anton Wilson, the cartoonist....but okay.

[15:17] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: a good old time poet as well
[15:17] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: let me grow lovelys a favorite

I could not then, and cannot now, remember a single poem Robert Anton Wilson was famous for. Certainly not something called "Let Me Grow Lovelys". But there is a Karle Wilson Baker, who wrote a poem called "Let Me Grow Lovely", so...maybe her?

[17:45] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: was heading out to enjoy the evening beach weather awhile
[17:45] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: we might share poetry together
[17:45] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) smiles
[17:45] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Perhaps!

And I moved on with things. I thought the conversation was clearly over.

[17:52] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: tending to something else in the meantime actually, why dont we try meeting there around 7 o clock SL time
[17:52] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: gorgeous spot
[17:53] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: maybe even share a few drinks with our poems

And there it is.

[17:53] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Ah, well.
[17:53] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): That may be an issue. I'm gone from SL usually from five pm SLT to 8 to 8:30 pm SLT, all nights.
[17:53] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Though tonight the shoppers are still out shopping, so dinner hasn't been called yet :D
[17:55] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ah, i c

"See".

[17:56] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And, if you're thinking drinks and poetry, then you should know in advance, my dance card's kind of full
[17:56] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Friends are fine, dates are--there's not enough time in the day at this point
[18:02] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that popular huh
[18:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Well, I wouldn't put it in those terms. But one partner, one owner, one mate, two girlfriends, three boyfriends--it adds up.

Now, this is not me bragging. I'm not carving notches in any of the bedposts in the beds I happen to sleep in. This was more--I'm booked. I don't have time to get involved with anyone else. Sort of a heads up before things go further.

Was that the wrong thing to say? Should we have started going on coffee dates, going to wine bars, reading each other poems, before I said anything? In my mind, that's even more cruel.

[18:09] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: never was one to contribute to a bitches power. rather take it away from her
[18:09] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [f**k] you
[18:09] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Excuse me?
[18:10] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Where, in anything I've said since you said hello, have I indicated any attempt to seize power?

I'm dead serious. Where in the whole of this conversation, to this point, have I said I want to wrest male power away from men at all, in any way? I do believe the boy is projecting.

[18:13] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Enjoy the rest of your SL, I suppose.
[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: congratulations, you've won the hypergamy award.

I had to look this one up. Turns out he's using it wrong, though weirdly, it's accurate for me--hypergamy refers to the practice of marrying someone of higher social status or position than oneself. And I am clearly aware of this--the only reason I'm a Duchess now is I married a Duke. So fair cop there, but--I don't think that's what he meant.

[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i keep my eyes open for women that i at the end of the day deem to be pure [dog sh*t]

Was that necessary?

[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: now keep your eyes open, i got a little gift coming for you today.

Haven't seen it yet.

[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: revenge is sweet bitch.

If you say so.

[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh and here's a little something else since you like poetry:

[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: a blank stare
[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [p***y] wet
[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: entitlement
[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: watch her twitch
[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: dont be caught in
[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: the facade she emits
[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that how you tell
[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: she's a witch

I mean, I've read better, but it has a slight catch to it, especially the last three lines.

[18:34] Txxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: now burn in hell
[18:34] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): You seem upset.

I had to leave soon after, for RL, but...wau, this man spun on a dime. There is a term for that, which I'm not going to employ here, but it is coming to mind.

{Late insert from the Editrix: It came to my attention that the blurred-out profile still contained the username on top, and there was one visible instance of his username in the quoted chat, and that has been changed. The profile I'll change if I have time, frankly. Consider it a warning to the women in SL not to associate, because anyone who ramps up this quickly into spewing hate from "I am seeing other people, I don't want any more romantic relationships" is someone who doesn't like women anyway. So best to avoid.}

eyes wide, no time for sleep, my mind's a flood tide

Something from the last night of Fantasy Faire...

[22:12] Pookie Wolfsong (helixer): For years I have come to the faire danced on the Fairechylde. Visited each world sim and met wonderful people. To the Pawlice I have a special place in my heart for them. My fellow Waffle loving beings.
The Fairelands mean so much to me. Not just for the party, shopping or hunts. The cause is what called to me. Being to my first faire I found something more a place of caring. A place to renew ones soul. For the message that you are not alone means so much to those who battle cancer. As well as those who care for and support the fighters. For the last thirty plus years I have caregivien those who battle. I shared the fairelands to any who wanted to see the magical lands you created. The effect is amazing the renew of hope in people's eyes is a magic that can not be described..
Thank you Fairelands. You do so much more than you know. This last year has been hard for all of us. We have come together. My dear fairelanders thank you for not losing the dream

Yes.

Also:

[10:12] Mel (meliai.atheria): Okay, so if you want to pick up some free photos my little gallery is here. Refugio (106,137,69) All tips to me after recouping some of the upload costs will go right to ACS and there's a kiosk in the store to if you want to donate directly. All photos of the Faire are free for the next month until they rotate out for another featured sim

That is incredibly sweet of her, and she got some really nice photos of the various Fantasy Faire sims. Go see.

And I'd toss in this blog entry just to tie things up on the Faire commentary. Lovely description of the reason for the candles.

And, sort of but not really pursuant to that...wrote something for the first time since 2020 started, so...maybe it's appropriate, the last night of Faire.



grey ash and incense

her skin tastes of soft grey ash and
temple incense. before, in the times before
the now, her now that is rich in
love, and care, and joy, she might have
written her story with
a backdrop of death
would have tilted it towards
crematoriums and funerals. she
would have envisioned
mourners and grieving widows, kneeling
at her feet, in supplication
and terror, but
these days are softer still



these days unwrap the barbed wire
around her heart
layer by layer, remake her
into someone with still the same amount
of broken places, but
far more of the broken edges
smoothed down



and now, while her skin still tastes
of pale ash and incense, she thinks
it's the fertile renewing ash of
forest fires, and the incense found
in rituals devoted to happier things
and...she thinks she's better for it
~jml, 5/10/2021



(Poem original. Skin is Hel, from Alia Baroque's Jail 'n Bail event at Fantasy Faire this year. The hair comes from Raven Bell, "Sakura"; I picked it up at the Neo-Japan event, but it's likely in the main store by now. The eyes are from the "Witness" set in silver from Axix. The dress is "Aura" from Psycho Barbie. The riding whale is from HPMD--yes, I finally splurged, and the riding whale is mine. And the sims seen are Candlewood for the first two images, and Krakenstorm for the last two--though be aware, if you go, there is a very trigger-happy steamship in the storm overhead, and it shoots to kill.

(I'm...happy. These days. And for those that know me, they know that's not something I say lightly. And it's still new, and tentative, and I'm not used to it, and I'm still waiting for the pianos to fall from the clear sky, but...for now. For here. I'm...actually happy.)

'cause things are getting creepy in this sleepy state of Oregon

So there's a poet and singer I've been following for a while, Rosedrop Rust. I've mentioned him before on the blog, at least once, if only in passing. He's good. More importantly, he's got a great stage presence and can really work a crowd.

But two nights ago...things were...different.

That's when he performed at City's Edge again. He's performed there before, he generally opens for a singer named Oceane, German lady, really intriguing singer. But he's on first, easy manner, playbook of standards, good on piano, guitar, and keyboards that I've heard to date.



There was someone in the audience running a light show...Rusty tells me her name is "Kalyca Goes Overboard". Seems to fit.



And I kept losing sight of Rusty.



Hells, I kept losing sight of the stage. I mean, seriously, here, there's a light show, and then there's PARTICLE OVERLOAD.



And the colors were pretty, don't get me wrong. Some of the shapes were odd, but some were okay, it was just...WAAAAAAY too many of them, yeah?



And maybe, next time, don't occlude your performer, and the host, onstage quite so often?



It was seriously difficult to figure out what to look at--performer, stage, dancers, lights...dizzying, and not always in good ways.



And maybe don't blind your audience, because...this was the dance floor!

All in all, great show, but...TURN DOWN THE LIGHTS, sheesh!

tables turned, I'm the one who's burning now

There are times the path is very clear. The steps to take are bright, and visible, and easy to navigate. Other times the path is shadowed, hard to make out, half-buried, missing. I must stand in the trees and by the roadsides, listening for clues, searching out the smallest pebbles of the potential path forward.

And then there are the times something blows up the path in front, and my choice is to walk through the shrapnel, and risk getting cut, or wait until it settles, and maybe lose the chance to get close enough to know why it happened.



I'm usually the charge-in-and-patch-later type with most issues, because I'm used to being cut, but some...some still freeze me in place, barely daring to breathe, wondering which direction holds pain, and which holds more pain. Instinctive reaction, still, to fold up the walls and fix them tight again, but...at this point, the box only has five sides. For some, the front panel never employs, and I am left exposed, vulnerable, visible, easily hurt. This is by design. Doesn't mean it hurts any less.



Still trying to figure out the best option, the best way to follow the barest hints of clues, over the field I know is mined. And I know it's mined because I put some of the mines in place. I know it's mine because I recognize the terrain.

And there are signposts along the way, there always are. Some are long since worn away. Some are snapped in half from the last frustrated traveler along the paths. Some are written in languages I can't read. Some are just blank shapes, emotion pouring from them, the drive to do, to be, to change, to have things unsaid entirely. Regret tastes like copper dusted with citric acid.



And it is not lost on me that tonight's wandering, trying to sort for clarity, was done in a skin with markings not my own, painting a map to experiences I'm still struggling to process. And all of this is happening two days before I get to invoke the goddess in a ritual for which I should be calm, and open, and receptive to all light and pleasure....So I have less than two days to restore balance.

Sure. No problem. That's possible.



In the end, on the path or off, what price faith? What price trust? How much is too much, and when do I finally learn these lessons? And how best do I guard my tongue from here, so I am not the one playing revelation roulette at the end of the day?



As many questions as there are missing paving stones I'm needing to reconstruct. And what path there is seems to be leading back to the forest, and the shadows, dotted with ruby-jeweled eyes gleaming in the dark. And the trees are moving.



Is it better to take the step forward, take the risk, take the pain that is inevitable on the shadowed path, or...stand in the sinking sunset glow, and wait, and slowly reconstruct the path by moonlight? Because I could breathe easier outside the forest, away from the doubts in the dark.

But the point this time may not be respiration, it may not even be reconstruction. It may be adaptation and reconfiguration. Rebuilding from the ground up? No, not even close. But enough for scaffolding to support the walls that need to be removed, to make room for new structures. Here we go again.

(Sims visited included the Leafminer Parkway, New London (Adult sim), Chapelle St. Marc, Beinn Dubh, Blyth, London 1940, Scapa Flow, Moonbase Alpha, Tailspinners' Rest, and Spirit of Fire. Not all shots taken were used, though. Written to No Time to Die from Billie Eilish, Safe and Sound from the Civil Wars and Taylor Swift, Feel It Twice from Camila Cabello, Poison from Nicole Scherzinger, Only Time Makes It Human from King Princess, In the End from Snow Patrol, My Dark Disquiet from Poets of the Fall, and Lost on You from LP.)

go and find another adventure, c'mon let's go

The new art exhibit by Bryn Oh and Cica Ghost is called White Veil, and I'm not sure if it's completely open yet? But Bryn had been asking interesting parties to test the mechanics, so that's what I'm here to do.



So let's begin here, with the single biggest hazard of the exhibit, both literally and by size. The first obstacle to understanding is an obstacle--or, more importantly, a set of obstacles that roll down the hill. Several round balls in white, of varying sizes...and this big boy.



When they hit the avatar, the avatar goes *poof* back to the beginning of the course, base of the mountain. This is INCREDIBLY frustrating. This entry, in fact, features shots from my third attempt up the hill. But there is a slim, a very narrow, up side: these little blue discs. Step on one, the avatar is "protected"...but it's a very restricted protection.



In short: each disc offers about ten seconds or so of being trapped in a bubble in which we can't move, can't roll to the side, can't roll off the disc--but which can be struck by the orbs rolling downhill, and knocked around, popped into the air, whatever. Which...is also incredibly frustrating, because sometimes, they decide to *poof* when we're right in front of that big boulder. And *whomp*, back to the beginning.

And then...several days went by during which I didn't return, though I planned to, because I still want to see the rest of it. But, sometime during the planning-and-not-doing, I got invited to the actual opening of the installation.



Meet random person I saw there. This outfit was incredible--in person, it shimmered, glistened, and it was also far more sheer standing next to her. She was stunning. Wish I knew who she was.



We had all gathered for the second part of the opening events, having started with a live musical concert. That's Rosedrop Rust on the big chair in this shot--he was one of the spoken-word poets that performed during the second half. I am so glad I was able to go, and listen to poems of tentative hope and light, and slow renewal, because this event I'm talking about, for the last two images? That was January 21st.

But...walking the exhibit itself? That is still unfinished. I have not made it to the tower. I do not know what lies at the top. I will return, though I have no idea when this exhibit closes. So there will be at least one more entry covering White Veil.

the bats have left the bell tower, the victims have been bled

(Note from the Editrix: Because these are mounting, sadly, I'm going to start generally indicating when they were written, as opposed to published. This one is from the 12th of July.)

Ran across something that sounded both dire and portentious, but also not original on someone's profile? It's a powerful statement, but I wanted to know for sure.

Turns out I was right, it's the last lines of a poem called "Letter From My Brain To My Heart" by Rachel McKibbens:

You have my permission not to love me;
I am a cathedral of deadbolts
and I'd rather burn myself down
than change the locks.

And...damn. I can at least say I am not that bad, but...I won't lie, that poem does resonate.

In related but dissimilar news, I am still unsettled, but now it's more trying to find my footing on jagged chips of shale, not fractured glass and cinders, so...upgrade?



We move on. I hadn't thought about Transylvania in years, and on a separate search, ran across the name again. Was it still there?



That answer is very much yes, and very much improved!



Admittedly, I never wandered far from the Wall, having mostly gone there for dances, or to see a DJ I was fond of at the time.



But it seems to have really filled out, expanded a bit, and some of the scenery...



If nothing else, it's a lovely night stroll.



And, of course, one must stop and stand in awe of this.



Meanwhile, at Enchantment...



And no, no no no, I wanted a duelling flamingo, not a... *sighs* Oh, well, I guess it will do. (A note, having now gone to the store in question--I'm not sure which event CURELESS made the Alice in Monsterland gacha for? But it's not at their main store, and I picked this drooping fellow up off the Marketplace.)

Mirie it is while sumer i-last

This seems a fairly decent conversation; while the original question has been removed, as r/secondlife's Rule 4 is post nothing against ToS, the question is retained (mostly) in Reddit's email to me. Under the title "Copyrighted content for personal use and Linden Lab", this question: "I am not sure if this has been discussed before. I want to upload a mesh model to use as an avatar from a different game for my personal use, I don't want to sell it ever. My question is: does Linde". Her question finished with something close to "Linden labs allow this?" And the easy answer is no. No copyrighted content from other games.

But there are some valuable viewpoints in the comments, one of which had this link, which, while it discusses a specific case of copyright infringement, also contains valid information on what is and is not allowed.

Still, the simple answer works: no, we are not allowed to upload copyrighted material from any other property without permission from that property. Now, if we have permission to make an avatar, clothing item, object, from the rights holder? Go to town. But without those rights it's copyright infringement, and there can be penalties for that.

In other news...the leaves are changing!

13th Autumn In Caledon... boo!
Sun, Sep 22 2019 12:39:35 AM PDT

Miri it is while sumer i-last
With foulës song;
Oc now neghëth windës blast
And weder strong.
Ei, ei, what this night is long,
And Ich with wel michel wrong
Sorwe and murne and fast.

This is from the earliest surviving secular song known in English. Oddly, I knew the summer version, but I'd never heard this one.

Are you bored with cooking? Want a challenging recipe or two to follow? Try AI cooking may not help you eat, but it will give you a challenge to follow.

And in other other news, this chat capture about Marvel vs. DC:

[21:34] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There will really be a JOKER movie coming out soon.
[21:35] Emilly Orr: Yes, but it's non-canonical according to DC.
[21:36] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but it has the DC logo?
[21:36] Emilly Orr: Sure. It's from DC.
[21:36] Emilly Orr: What they're saying is, they're making it, but it's alternate universe.
[21:37] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh, yes..an alternate world.
[21:37] Emilly Orr: Like the What If series Marvel used to put out--What if Wolverine was a vampire? What if Iron Man turned evil? What If took those concepts and did one-offs based on them.
[21:38] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Sounds like fun..and The Joker movie looked interesting.
[21:38] Emilly Orr: So, yes, we are getting a better reboot of Joker than we got with the execrable Suicide Squad, but unless it, itself, spawns a sequel, that movie's Joker won't cross over into other DC films.

Apparently, dissatisfaction with Jared Leto's Joker performance is so high that, while Suicide Squad is getting a sequel, it's turned into a story of Harley breaking up with him and striking out on her own with other superheroines.

[21:39] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lets hope not, He looked just as scary as the others.

Actually, the only thing that comes close in the terms of "official" Joker portrayals that comes close to Leto's is the time in the comics where Joker cut his own face off. (There are pictures of the panel. I am not linking them. You want to go search, they're not hard to find.)
Every other portrayal could line up with the new alt-Joker upcoming.

[21:43] Emilly Orr: While that is true, at least the upcoming Joker would never tattoo "Damaged" across his forehead in italic script. Because really? Really? Come on now. And silver teeth? Really?
[21:44] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: apparently this Joker did not end up in a chemical bath like the original did.
[21:49] Emilly Orr: No, he actually has an incredible reason for becoming the Joker. Hard, hard life, in a hard, violent city, when all he wanted to do was lighten the mood. And getting ground down day after day until there was nothing left. Nothing but the Joker.
[21:50] Emilly Orr: It's entirely plausible.
[21:50] Emilly Orr: I am tentatively looking forward to it.
[21:50] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: True.
[21:51] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: I don't know how DC could have the characters they do, and mess up their movies so much in comparison to Marvel.
[21:51] Emilly Orr: Oh, I can answer that.
[21:52] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: It is hard too translate what the creators and writers of Comics into a Movie.
[21:52] Emilly Orr: So, Marvel is more cohesive--it's always been an umbrella company with multiple departments. They're all interconnected, the movie people talk to the tv people talk to the comics people talk to the toy line people.
[21:53] Emilly Orr: Versus DC. DC maintains a singular, monolithic upper office, with distant toy lines (which is why sometimes costumes, faces and such are off on the toys), an entirely separate TV/animation branch, and an entirely separate movie branch.
[21:53] Emilly Orr: If you watch DC animation, it is BRILLIANT. Smooth lines, great art, great plots. Genuine heartfelt characters that feel RIGHT.
[21:54] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: DC's big Justice League movie with all their major characters made only 659 million worldwide
[21:54] Emilly Orr: Yes. That figure includes DVD/Blu-Ray sales. It's staggeringly bad.
[21:54] Emilly Orr: But the upper brass doesn't talk to the 'lower' companies.
[21:55] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: That is only about 40 million more than "Ant Man and the Wasp"
[21:55] Emilly Orr: Case in point: one of their animation series, Justice League, I think, was doing amazingly well. Popular, people wanted to watch, wanted to interact, wanted to buy product tie-ins.
[21:55] Emilly Orr: DC upper brass canceled it. Because too many girls were fans.
[21:55] Emilly Orr: And they wanted boy fans.
[21:56] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: Dumb.

Very.

[21:56] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: Marvel just wants people's money. Smart company :)
[21:56] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Too my obseervations over the years..ever since after the "Crisis of infinite earths' comic books both DC and Marvel have gotten more violent

Actually, the violence comes and goes. Violence is always somewhere, but some things are played more to the heart, some things are played more for laughs, some things are just knock-down, drag-out fighting. Flow and ebb.

[21:56] Emilly Orr: Which...is not how the world works anymore. Just as there were always female fans of so-called "male" properties, they're even more visible now.
[21:56] Emilly Orr: Exactly.
[21:57] Emilly Orr: Now, granted, Marvel sold off some of their bigger characters (hence why, until the last two Avengers movies and the first Spider-man movie in between, Spider-man was under the control of Sony Entertainment), and what they had left was the B-roll.
[21:57] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: I don't follow the comic books. Too expensive.
[21:57] Emilly Orr: But look at what they've done with it.
[21:57] Emilly Orr: Iron Man went from a dated, suffering timeline to a headliner through several films.
[21:58] Emilly Orr: Guardians of the Galaxy, an absolutely NEGLECTED comic, has two movies and a third planned, and show up in cameos in Avengers films.
[21:58] Emilly Orr: People embraced these characters because all Marvel really dd was say "Hey, we like these guys. We think you will too."
[21:59] Emilly Orr: DC, on the other hand, relies far too much on their target demographic figures, and how to push them in the direction the head office wants them to go, not the direction they organically go.
[21:59] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: I really liked Captain Marvel. I'm told by people who are more into the comics that the character has always been kind of d-list in comics. But the movie was great and made over a billion worldwide.
[21:59] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Yesh, but they only made two Fantastic 4 movies..and they did not appear in End game.
[22:00] Emilly Orr: There's a reason for that, Fantastic Four is cursed.
[22:00] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: I thought Marvel did not own the rights to them or to the X-Men.
[22:00] Emilly Orr: NO ONE has ever made a successful Fantastic 4 film. EVER. The only success they've ever had beyond the comics is about a year run in animation.
[22:00] Emilly Orr: They don't anymore, which is also why X-Men movies are being made by other people.
[22:02] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: There are4 (Mavel) Captain Mavels..one a Kree with power bands on his wrist, the other Afro american female whose power was Light and lasers( I liked Her), Ms. Marvel, and an other alien.
[22:02] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: I'm probably atypical of Marvel movie fans. I never see them in theaters. I rent them over the Internet several months later.
[22:03] Emilly Orr nods
[22:03] Emilly Orr: Not the worst pattern, not everyone likes the theatre experience.
[22:03] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: Or several years in some cases. I'm still waiting to rent Infinity War and Endgame back to back.
[22:04] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: And yes, I know who dies. I can't help it :)
[22:04] Emilly Orr smiles
[22:04] Emilly Orr: I actually managed to dodge the spoilers!
[22:04] Emilly Orr: We saw Endgame for the first time last night.
[22:04] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I have not bought a comic book in five years..no..since 2000..if i do, i go too Barns& noble and buy a graphic novel..collected stories.
[22:06] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Good night, Caledon. Sweet dreams
[22:06] Exxxxxxxx Pxxxxx: Goodnight
[22:06] Kxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Hugs Emilly and Elenabeth.
[22:07] Emilly Orr hugs Kara
[22:07] Emilly Orr: Good night!

And that was that. Though I still think my conclusion is correct: Marvel suffered a financial blow, sold off some successful properties, and is now making the best with what they've got left. DC is trying to play to the safest bets, with overdone market research, and ignoring half of it, and won't let writers really write for the movies. And as a result, they're hamstringing themselves.

the lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live?

Oh, boy, here we go again. This happened last Friday:

[12:57] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: Hello Everyone!
[12:57] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: Has anyone been to Junbug yet?
[12:58] Kxxxxx Mxxxxxxx: yeah it was not out
[12:58] Lxxx Pxxx: nothing out yet
[12:58] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: RL can get in the way, just be patient :)

This is the statement that caused all the drama. Yes, really. That simple and inoffensive. Keep it in mind.

[12:58] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: ok Thanks, that's what I wanted to know.... appreciate you all

And that should have been the end of it, but no, Ms. B reconsidered, and then lost her damn mind.

[12:59] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: [Cxx], I was not being impatient, I just came here and saw nothing, so I thought I would ask the group, in case I missed a notice or something
[12:59] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: don't be so quick to be negative to people

SHE WASN'T BEING NEGATIVE, YOU'RE BEING OVERSENSITIVE. Dolt.

[13:00] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: i didn't say you were, [Bxxxxxxx]. it's all good. :)

So now we have an apology from the person who made the absolutely okay response to Ms. Oversensitive. Again, this could have been it and done. Apology; acceptance; we all move on. Right?

[13:00] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: well you sure made it seem like I was complaining, and I don't feel that was warranted

No. She didn't. Not even once. You're taking things completely out of all context.

[13:01] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: i'm not responsible for your misunderstanding and emotional reactions. it was a simple comment, you're making //way// too much out of it.

Yes, this. Exactly.

[13:01] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Bxxxxxxx], she...with a ":)" said RL can get in the way, be patient. how in the world is that saying you were complaining?
[13:01] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: thank you [kxxxx].
[13:01] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you're welcome :)
[13:03] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx: Not sure how asking a question is being impatient. Repeating a question might seem impatient, but asking once? Not really.
[13:04] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: I said she made it seem like I was with the "patient" comment. But, if the two of you can't see how you're "comments" were obligatory, at best, well, forgive me for asking a simple question. ALL you had to say, was that her item was not out yet.... the rest of your"comment was not necessary unless I was complaining, which I was not... good day to you both!

It's "your", and for the second, correct, use of "your", there's a space between "your" and "comment" generally. Also a lack of ", because that's just in there for no clear reason. And they did say the item was not out yet.

[13:04] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: no one said anyone was impatient.

Right, because "please be patient" is not an insult. It's never been an insult. In fact, it's a very polite way to answer.

[13:04] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no one accused her of being impatient. it was a polite comment. not yelling or being rude in any way.

What Ms. k said.

[13:04] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: some of these dances make me look like a dancing monkey
[13:04] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: it's making me giggle
[13:04] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: lol [Xxxxx]

This was Ms. X's attempt to change the topic. It didn't entirely work, but it was amusing for those of us not completely mental on a simple three-word line of text.

[13:05] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *finds popcorn*
[13:05] gxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol sometimes it is fun to look like a dancing monkey
[13:05] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx: lol - you guys - saying "be patient" implies "you're not being patient." It's just an out of the blue thing to say to someone who's asking a simple question.

No. It's not. It's an expected social response, like saying "I'm fine" to "How are you?" or "Good" to "How are things?" Or, for many women, laughing gently when they're nervous or uneasy, or otherwise afraid to answer when a man's being aggressive.

[13:05] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: -scratches armpit- what.... what am I doing?
[13:06] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: oh the things I see on sl
[13:06] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: THANK YOU [AXXXXXXXX]

Don't thank her, you're in the wrong.

[13:06] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx hands [Bxxx] a cupcake and goes off elsewhere ;)
[13:06] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: what someone infers is not necessarily what someone else implied. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

THAT. EVERY SINGLE WORD OF THAT. Which is also when I joined the conversation, after reading back.

[13:06] Emilly Orr: Yes, what [Cxx] said.
[13:07] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Oh good grief... does anyone have the latest 50 Linden Friday N/c ?
[13:07] axxxxx Rxxxxxxx: in the notices :)
[13:07] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx: [Pxxxx], it's in the notices as always :-)
[13:07] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: ok then Miss "Holier than thou" [Cxx], what was your need to tell me to be patient?

Really? This is the hill you're willing to die on? You don't have anything better to do?

[13:07] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I know I was changing the subject :)
[13:07] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I deleted mine already, or I'd send it.
[13:07] Axxxxxxxx Hxxxxxxx: hahaha
[13:08] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: sent you one in IMs [Pxxxx]
[13:08] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: So that local sports team [Pxxxx]

This was, what...the third attempt to divert Ms. B? Fourth? I'd lost count.

[13:08] Axxxxxx Txxxxxxxx: I would say the adult thing to do would be drop it

YES IT WOULD BE, but apparently we're not all adults here.

[13:08] kxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: omg [Bxx]. give it up please. why start drama over something so trivial?

Who in all the hells knows.

[13:08] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wow they are doing awesome this year lol

And this was the fifth? People were really trying here.

[13:08] cxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: So who is better? Sharks or Jets? Discuss.

Well, the Sharks have better songs. The Jets dance better (at least for fights; the Sharks have them on actual dancing). The Jets have the more tragic story, and since West Side Story is supposedly based on Romeo and Juliet...

[13:08] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hanks [Cxx]
[13:08] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: yeah, i'm so over this little drama

It's "thanks", Ms. P. And aren't we all.

[13:08] Sxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: X's out of this convo dont need this today just wow

Yeah, the drama sprang up very suddenly.

[13:08] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: yw [Pxxxx]
[13:08] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: no one aske you what you'd say [Axxxxxx]

You just need to shut the hell up and accept the two absolutely unnecessary apologies and kowtowing to your damn ego, okay?

[13:09] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Well in the Uk it's the Womens World Cup which is the latest sport

Sixth attempt. I think.

[13:09] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: so happy [f**king] Friday ya'll:)
[13:09] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if u want to stop the drama stop feeding the fire
[13:09] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: are we talking westside story?
[13:09] cxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Yes [Xxxxx]
[13:09] Emilly Orr: I'm confused, people. All I've been saying for a solid week in another group is 'please be patient' because the designer's renovating, so the store's down. No one has freaked out. Why here?
[13:09] Axxxxxx Txxxxxxx: will take this to private

Yeah, but you should never have had to.

[13:09] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: tap dances ....look at me look at me
[13:09] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: of course you are now that you have been confronted on your unnecessary comment and behavior, or lack there of

Oh, my gods, LET IT GO.

[13:09] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: ta daaa
[13:10] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hmmm...... they were both in the wrong

You're welcome to your opinion.

[13:10] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: drowning save me

No one is going to save you. The drama sea is endless.

[13:10] cxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: But the Sharks brought more, in regards to choreography, I thought
[13:10] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: :D
[13:10] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Is anyone else watching ladies workd cup football (soccer) ?
[13:10] Axxxxxx Txxxxxxx: this is my happy day so shopping on
[13:10] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: glug glug sharks!
[13:11] Bxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx: no one freaked out until someone else made it seem like that person was being impatient, by asking a simple question

What are you, brain-dead? Were you dropped on your head as a child?

[13:11] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I watched that crazy win by the us
[13:11] Ixxxxxxxxx Oxxxxx: [Bxx] let it go. happy friday!
[13:11] Xxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but I haven't watched since
[13:11] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: some people have just a tendens to make 1 feather to ten hens :3 thats called drama :3 this discussion could have ended ages ago ^^
[13:12] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Me neither [Xxxxx]... but be patient England will win !
[13:12] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: :p

Thinking back on it, I think they did. But I could be thinking of a different match, too.

[13:12] Emilly Orr: All this does remind me, though, I haven't pulled the FLF notecard.

So I did that.

[13:12] Isssssssss Osssss: amen to that
[13:12] Xxxxx: [xxxxx] lol... tha'ts a new version of my name :P
[13:13] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I am so sorry
[13:13] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: I have a question... I couldn't find the item at Jun bug

I think most of us clenched in dread for a few seconds.

[13:13] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: did I miss it?
[13:13] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I prefer [Xxxxx] !
[13:13] Emilly Orr grins. She's used to it by now. She's been called Emily, Emly, Emmlly, Emy....if it starts with an E, she'll generally take it.
[13:13] cxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Xanadu would be sweet!
[13:13] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: timezones :-P i guess Jun Bug is still busy in RL ? :-P
[13:14] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: lol Emilly
[13:14] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: okies:) rl first right:)
[13:14] pxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: if it helps i get [Pxxxx] a lot !
[13:14] Xxxxx: hehe... I"m just teasing :) I get called all sorts of interesting names
[13:14] Emilly Orr: So, without starting everything off again, she doesn't have the item out yet, but she'll probably put it out when she can.

That was the best I could do.

[13:14] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: okies
[13:15] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: sorry I missed that up top:)
[13:15] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: Thank you again for clearing that up... thought maybe it was my computer acting up
[13:15] Gxxxx Axxxxxxxxx: :)
[13:15] 1xxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: THAT is what i call a polite answer :D
[13:16] Cxx Sxxxxxxxxx: :D

Hey, it worked for me, and better still, Ms. B didn't chime in with more Defcon-1-level dumb.

In other news...this baffling chat capture from a friend:

[12:47] Sxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxx smiles warmly, nodding, "Yes, certainly. You see, I'm a very powerful Master," he puffs out his chest slightly. "And I was just... you know, looking for slaveflesh..."

What?

[12:48] Lxxx Mxxxxxxxxxxx: Oh, I am sorry, I do not know any slaves.
[12:49] Sxxxxxxxxx Sxxxxx squirms with palpable frustration, "Oh, no problem. I mean... and.. I assume you don't have a deep, unquenchable urge to please me?"

Seriously, does anything this guy's said so far sound like a "very powerful Master"?

[12:50] Lxxx Mxxxxxxxxxxx: Well, dear, do you have a deep, unquenchable urge to pay me to please you?

And that that--gosh, so shocking--he shut up.

His name makes him sound like a sub, and his SL bio doesn't help, with one of the worst pieces of "poetry" I've ever run across:

Hello, pitcher plant,
smelling so sweet,
where's the harm
in a dip?
The end.

A paper Master
quivers in the whispered breeze.
He folds with a kiss.

Do be my slave girl.
Always strive for my pleasure.
But untie me first.

No! Wrong. You must ask,
"Master, may your humble girl
Straddle your face now?"

My Galatea,
My pretty, little Dommelette,
I break your slave shell.

Girl, that's the wrong sheath.
I said, "Hot, tight, wet."
Not locked.
And not cold, hard steel.

Please, bring back Vogon poetry readings, my gods. It's terrible.

ALL of his groups are centered around BDSM, hypnotism, mind control, dehumanization and objectification, induced fear and humiliation, and misogyny. BDSM is fine, but the rest are pretty much on my checklist of People to Avoid.

There's also a weird split between the more extreme male domination groups, and the more extreme femdom "cash pig" groups. So apparently he's also a switch? Would explain the strangely craven way he was seeking "slaves" for the "very powerful Master" he thinks he is.

This clenched it for me, from one of his picks:

I suppose I should mention that I'm hopelessly addicted to unhealthy attention and abuse. And while I am an unmitigated slut, easily tempted and led into all sorts of mischief, I ask you kindly not to do anything that might imperil any chance that she I will be deny and frustrated to tears.

"She I"? And it should be "denied and frustrated", not "deny and frustrated". But right, whatever, I'm done. Let's hope he doesn't come around work again.

Of course, if he ever comes across this, the limited abuse given here will probably reduce him to a quivering puddle of joy. I'm totally fine with submissive men, even switches, but I am completely not fine with submissives who think they're "very powerful Masters". Blargh. Be one or the other and switching between is fine, just don't try to be dominant when every scrap of language uttered tells every listener it's a flat-out fabrication.

but I opened up my wound, now my force depends on you

This is amazing, and, even though many of the models are in bodysuits to imitate the paintings more perfectly, I'd say they'd still qualify as NSFW. (Some people apparently are being asked to join that site, so this site doesn't ask people to join, and also has another couple of shots of the artwork.

"If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you".

I wish I could track down who said this; I found it on a random profile, and wanted to find who said it, and Google search just shrugged.

It did find me some other good quotes, though.

"The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What's left of kisses? Wounds, however, leave scars."
~Bertolt Brecht

"You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them."
~Iyanla Vanzant, from Yesterday, I Cried

"Some memories never heal. Rather than fading with the passage of time, those memories become the only things that are left behind when all else is abraded. The world darkens, like electric bulbs going out one by one. I am aware that I am not a safe person."
~Han Kang, from Human Acts

"Hold her a little tighter, she's an introvert, she needs strength to open her wounds."
~Nitya Prakash

"We have to outgrow history. History is what keeps all the old wounds and grievances alive."
<~Marty Rubin

"She couldn't believe she had told him. Now she would forever be a broken pot in his eyes. And yet, speaking those words last night had been like digging shrapnel out of her flesh. She was sore, but the piercing weight of the deeply lodged shards was gone. The relief was indescribable."
~Sonali Dev, from A Change of Heart

"Every person is driven to self-deceive, simply to get out of the discomfort of the truth. The best relationships are with people who will not let you be blind. They reveal your hidden strengths and your concealed wounds."
~Vironika Tugaleva

"She wondered which wounds went deeper: the jagged wounds of reality, or the profound invisible bruises of the imagination?"
~Vita Sackville-West

"There's some wounds that run too deep to be seen. They're the most dangerous."
~Moira Young, from Rebel Heart

"Nothing supernatural has ever harmed me. My wounds and losses have all be at the hands of human beings..."
Dean Koontz, from Brother Odd

"If you keep picking at that scab on your heart, it won't heal."
~Antonia Perdu

"Stop holding on to the broken pieces of that mirror even after you are bleeding so badly, I agree that the reflections you had imagined or saw once before were beautiful but sometimes holding on to them with a hope will just continue to hurt you even more and it will never get any better."
~Akshay Vasu

"Art is the magical act of one bleeding heart healing another."
~Akash Mandal


~Akshay Vasu, from The Abandoned Paradise: Unraveling the beauty of untouched thoughts and dreams

"We're not getting out of this unscathed. You play with blades, somebody's gonna get cut. Sometimes, everybody bleeds."
~Bunn Cullen

"In the middle of the night, I saw chaos bleeding out of darkness and peace. Everything that was said and seen before seemed like a paradox. I saw the graves of lies breaking open and the truth crawling out silently into the cold hearts."
~Akshay Vasu

Obviously I need to track down Akshay Vasu.

"Writing has always been therapy for me. When life cuts me, I bleed on paper."
~Steve Maraboli
This has been a life motto for some time.

cherry lips, crystal skies, I could show you incredible things

I always thought that Valentine's Day started with the Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia, held in the spring, and a French festival between the tenth and twelfth centuries called "Gallant's Day" or "Gallantines". Turns out I was wrong.

Well, not about Lupercalia, that part's true. In the fifth century, though, shortly before his death, Pope Gelasius I issued an edict that Lupercalia would no longer be celebrated, at least as Lupercalia. It would henceforth be the Feast of the Purification, and celebrated on February 15th...but that festival was later moved to February 2nd, to suppress another pagan festival. There were a lot of different names, depending on places, but the most well-known one at this point is Imbolc, the Celtic festival of new growth and new life. Specific to England was the Wives' Feast, specific to Rome (at that time) was the minor festival of Juno Februa, specific to other parts of the British Isles was Brigantia, the first festival of Brigit or Bride (who later was sainted by the Roman Catholic Church in an attempt to bring her worshippers into the fold).

And the thing about Gallantines, well, that's partially right, but mostly wrong. Around the same time, fourth or fifth century, the Normans were celebrating "Galatin's Day" in mid-February, which seems, from the limited accounts I've been able to find, to be a day either celebrating women's capacity to love, or women's love for each other? There's not a lot of information. I don't know where the French connection came into play, but Pope Gelasius I did his best to stamp out "Galatin's Day" as well, where the early Church had influence.

One scholar, Jack B. Oruch, claimed that Chaucer actually invented what's become the modern Valentine's Day Celebration. This is one of the stanzas of the poem "The Parlement of Foules" in Middle English:

For this was on Seynt Valentynes day,
Whan every foul cometh ther to chese his make,
Of every kinde, that men thynke may;
And that so huge a noyse gan they make,
That erthe and see, and tree, and every lake
So ful was, that unnethe was ther space
For me to stonde, so ful was al the place.

and translated:

For this was on Saint Valentine's Day,
When every fowl comes there to chase his match,
of every kind, that men think may;
And that is so huge a noise they began to make,
That earth and sea, and tree, and every lake
So full was it, so difficult was their space
For me to stand, so full was all the place.

In 1385, Chaucer penned "The Compleynt of Mars", which contained this passage:

Who syngeth now but Mars, that serveth thus
The faire Venus, causer of plesaunce?
He bynt him to perpetuall obeisaunce,
And she bynt her to loven him for evere,
But so be that his trespas hyt desevere.
Thus be they knyt and regnen as in hevene
Be lokyng moost; til hyt fil on a tyde
That by her bothe assent was set a stevene
That Mars shal entre, as fast as he may glyde,
Into hir nexte paleys, and ther abyde,
Walkynge hys cours, til she had him atake,
And he preide her to haste her for his sake.

and translated:

Who sings now but Mars, that serves thus
The fair Venus, bringer of delight?
He bent himself to perpetual service,
And she bent herself to love him forever,
But so be that his trespass was deserved.
Thus they were knight and queen as in heaven
By looking most; until employed on a tide
That by her agreement both spake
That Mars shall enter, as fast as he may glide,
Into her next palace, and there abide,
Walking his course, till she had him beside,
And he prayed to her to hasten for his sake.

Whether or not this theory is true, what is true is that Shakespeare, who was a contemporary--and fellow reader--of Chaucer, took influence from these works and wrote several plays based both on love lost and love found.

So between the two of them, at least, lies the rise of the modern version of the holiday.

I had intended to cover the so-called "Saint" Valentine, but if you thought this history so far is murky and odd, let me just say that the Roman Catholic Church itself lists three Saint Valentines, with no real distinction as to which one is supposedly the actual saint of the holiday assumed to have named it.

So I'll stop here, and just wish everyone a good day, whatever they celebrate. Indulge if you wish to, love if you wish to, drink and make merry if you wish to--all options are open. Enjoy.

I wonder where you are tonight; no answer on the telephone

(from the loss album)

I cannot see me parting from you
I see no place on the road ahead
where I would willingly part from you
where I would choose to leave
the safety of your shadow...

Still not walking away, but that no longer seems to matter. After all, I'm the only one here. It's not like there's anyone else to walk away from...

Is this the giving up point? At least briefly, I think it might be.

Also, this is really disturbing. It's like exposing the vile underbelly of the net we know and love to sharp, reflecting light...and then giving those malformed and mutated creatures the ability to speak.

History of that link: basically, Mountain Dew is having a contest: name the new flavor. They're still taking votes, and they have said (as ridiculous as this now seems to be) that they will choose a winner from the top ten list. Based on the number of riffs on "apple" as a flavor component, I'm going to go out on this limb and say the new flavor will be apple-based. In some sense. Maybe.

But it's been appalling to watch. Reload the page, you'll see what new aberrations appeared in the top ten leaderboard. So far, our selections seem to be hovering around diseases, strange internet memes, My Little Pony characters, feeble racism, and several worse concepts that I don't even want to mention involving various body fluids. If that's the mind of the internet at present, we are in terrible, terrible shape.

[Update--prior to publishing, even: they seem to have taken the site down entirely. I can't help but think that's a good thing, frankly.]

In other pop-related news...sort of...this surfaced on the intarwebs tonight. Apparently the bottle of Orange Crush is there for comparison with the pygmy goat.

Okay, then.

And more strangeness from tonight on City of Heroes:

[Help] Pseudo Shock: So this is the Famous RP server, that's awesome.
[Help] Arkon Prime: I smell a troll.
[Help] Pseudo Shock: No, I'm serious. That really is awesome
[Help] Pseudo Shock: I'm not being sarcastic, I'm just not used to it

This is not the first time this has come up. It always confuses me slightly, because in one sense, it's just another game server, no big deal. But in the other sense, yeah, it's the main RP server--but why is that a big deal?

[Help] Crathos: this is a rp server? my friend just told me he plays on this one
[Help] Crathos: and I'm not being sarcastic
[Help] toxic mouth: i think it's a bit of both at this point
[Help] Fortunata Sin: Unofficial RP server.

Well, yes, it's never been officially named as the RP server, mainly because that would mean NCSoft is validating all forms of RP on Virtue, and well...I'm quite sure there's some RP that goes on they want a lot of distance on, just in case.

[Help] Crathos: ah. I just knew it was a heck of a lot busier than guardian
Well...yes. Virtue and Freedom (Freedom being the "unofficial" main NON-RP server) are also the two busiest, most populated servers in the game.

[Help] Pseudo Shock: Ahhh, that's still really cool though.
[Help] Satsuma: so is that an incarnate RP level or what?

What, Guardian? No, Incarnate-level play happens anywhere. There's a specific Incarnate-level zone called Dark Astoria, but that's a recent addition. Prior to that, running strike forces/task forces weekly, or Ouroboros flashback missions, would gain Incarnate shards, threads, and Incarnate salvage drops--all of which are necessary to "level up" characters past 50. (Seeing as how there's still--and there may be always--that cap of level 50 for actually earning experience and leveling.)

Unless Satsuma meant VIP content, in which case Exalted is the server locked to only subscribing players. (I have one character on Exalted; sadly, I never play her. I likely should try, because I'm starting to become elitist enough to want a world without spammers, or free-to-players 4channing in Help and Looking for Group because they can't do anything else.

[Help] Pseudo Shock: A little of Role-playing and a little of your self?
[Help] Crathos: like a guy I saw yesterday posting asking for someone to RP his brother? that other lvl?
[Help] Fortunata Sin: Yes, that level.

I'd say "bwuh" over this, but just the other day, someone approached a friend of mine in Second Life, and asked her to be his wife because he wanted a baby now. He then asked her how he could have a baby (what, sweetness, you never took a high school health class?), and how he got married.

He was about a week old.

[Help] Slaughtron: There will be bouts of RP all over the place. Seems that a lot of the "good" RP takes place within SG's...
[Help] Fortunata Sin: I'm the same Slaughtron. I tend to RP only in my SG. And for the non-RP communities sake i don't RP in PUGs.

For the unintiated, "PuGs" translates to "pick-up groups"--as in, groups of people who don't know each other, running for the sake of the mission at hand, versus folks who run because they're in the same SuperGroup, or because they're friends in or out of the game.

The big reason behind not RPing (as a generally unspoken rule) around random folks is that they may not understand. While just about anyone can RP in Pocket D, say (or just stand around and listen), it's a bit harder for random RP to really take off properly with a random mix of people. Not impossible, just more difficult.

[Help] Slaughtron: I try and be IC on PuGs, mainly cos sometimes people get a kick out of it. I like that. But If someone has cat ears, or a name that sounds like a porn star, RUN AWAY!

Cue hysterical laughter on the part of me, considering the prevalence of catgirls everywhere.

To be absolutely fair to City of Heroes, there aren't as many catgirls as there used to be, but considering there are official supercatgirls in the game's mythology, catgirls are an acceptable heroic (or even villainous) alternative.

my river sits in ebb

soil tilled and watered well, seeds
prepared and set aside. I found
a split barrel and emptied it of
debris, filled it with lily bulbs and wet
moss, set it beside the garden to await the
planting. sprigs of wild rosemary and mint, gathered
along the way into bundles tied with
vintage ribbon, scraps of tea-dyed silk
and splintery twine. I hung them
from the rafters to scent the still air.

scavenged sections of wood propped up, holes dug
to plant them where the walls stop
the gates are heavy, the sun searing
where it breaks through the clouds. but
inch by inch, slow progress is made
lifting into position before fixing them into
place with sturdy iron that earlier, I'd
scrubbed clean of rust and dirt.

now each gate section leans against the broken
wall, ready to lift and drop into the holes
for the wooden posts. they can rest there
while I tend to the garden.

pearls strung up on silk thread, the starry one

wearied, drained, weaving in
exhaustion, utter enervation but
a good start, a good start. last
year's leaves are crushed to powder and
flight struts, the sleight of hand to
hide them underfoot abandoned in
favor of open piles, near the partially
repaired gate. those will later burn
with the rest of the dross that can be
consumed by fire.

stones pushed aside, force of strength that
made my arms tremble, but necessary,
necessary. stealing moments in time now and
again, sitting by the far wall, chipping
old mortar from rocks, to prepare them to
be mortared again. rising as soon as my
breath doesn't catch, and sweeping again, the
broom as old as the stone walls, maybe
older.

but all pathways are clear, now, swept
down to brick and earth, the leaves swept
to the front gates, the stones
smooth and round and waiting. tomorrow
I rebuild the walls. the day after, I
rebuild the gate. the day after, I lock it.

there are still keys. I am not so lost as
to remove all access. I've fought too hard
for what I've gained, suffered pain and
tears and memory. I have paid dearly for
every step forward. I will pay still. but
for now, the walls will rise, the
gates will halt casual entry, and I
will not live in the gatehouse
from now on.

I will close off all underground
access. I will sweep the house next. I
will plant poppies, stargazer lilies, sage and
stock, sunflowers to nod their sleepy heads to
fill the garden. I may excavate
a plot on the other side, and line that with
rows of tomato vines, snap beans, plant potatoes
and winter squash. cucumbers. carrots. parsley
and lemon balm.

sage by the door, always. repaint the stars
on the sills. light no candles and sit
in the restful dark, feeling the expected ache
of muscles put to constructive use. the
planting is for tomorrow, but it's been
a good start, a good start.

soar through the soul-searching hammer and ping

poor wounded heart, so
much pain, so many scars
mistakes and damage have a way of piling
up, after all
no way to pare off the bruising, the
places where the muscle has atrophied, grown
rigid and stiff and drawn
dysfunction setting in, it always does
so gather gauze from the supply kit, clean
needles and silken thread
it won't hurt any worse for bandaging, and
red looks so pretty against white

protect it, layer by layer, a stitch here, a
stitch there--it will take time
for the ribcage to settle, after all, and
there's always dust in the air here--
the rest will take time, but
it's time that must be taken. the
gates collapsed some while back, layers of
the surrounding walls have caved in as well, stones
scattered underfoot like
bones to twist ankles in the tall grass.

I'll need to sweep first, then set to work
raise the fortifications again
soon there will be the silver ring, the
song of tools on steel
replacement heartbeat in the chill grey air
rivet by rivet, hand-beaten armor, curved by
will and intent. likely I'll
have to search for scraps, and it
will grow like all my other projects: in
steel and wool and copper, brass
wire and silk, strung beads, bits
of driftwood and seashell, all
wrapped in gauze for structure, adding
to the whole. my heart will beat
to the sound of the hammer blows, until
it's strong enough again to beat on its own

this time
the gates won't
stand open.

and there's a storm that's raging, through my frozen heart tonight

mercury glow at night, fractured
silver wheel of stars above
I'm wounded on the ground, waiting
it's lonely and it's cold
if I lay here 'til the dawn
there will be ice along my limbs
but there is peace in frozen moments
so I will not give in

everyone's apologizing
telling me they understand
I'm withholding judgement
until I see the shape of things
there will be time for mourning
with the coming of the dawn
until then, I'll be waiting
until I'm sure the dawn will come.

her words are swimming through his ears again

Inadvertent poetry from the Merchant Outbox JIRA:

Somebody help me.......

Thank you all the answers.
But I am still "Initializing" mode.
Tells you how they all tried that.
But do not fix it.

How I've ever done.
1. change the language from settings to connect.
2. MO folder and drop in the correct place.

I tried both can not be repaired.

I am so sad.
Magic box to disappear in this state, I could die!

worusaai, 8 June, 2012

And there's now a 2D mod for Minecraft. ...So, that exists, now.

gripped in the arms of delirium

It started here, on a blog I'd never read before: an enigmatic series of portraits that showed up on a texture search for antique lace I was doing for a separate project. Along with these haunting words:

"I tried to forget
but you grew roots round my ribcage
and sprouted flowers
just below my collar bones.
All day I pick their petals
but I have not yet ascertained
whether you love me
or not"

And thereupon began the search for the rest of that quote.

I found this, which is a tutorial that just begs me to track down items for it and make it for one of my own walls; I found this, which contains a great many fascinating quotes; and then, I found this. But no last name was given, so I went to the "about" section of that blog. And I found another:

i have known the ticking of the clock
and i stumbled down the concrete sidewalk
broken where the weeds pushed through
there are too many stars tonight
i can not count them all

the music sounds different now
thinner
stolen by the fleeting hours
and the broken watch
no longer keeping steady time
there is nothing so loud as memory

So now I have two enigmatic snippets of prose, and only one name: "anna".

And then I found her blog.

So, is the author of these fragments Anna Peters? Budding photographer, writer, potentially poet and seeker? It is, as evidenced by this, which is a fascinating offer I'm now going to save up to get.

Because the prose piece that started this, reposted here from an earlier, unsaved post, can be had for twenty dollars from her print service (where you can also buy prints of her photographic work, on the main site). For those twenty bills, she will type your favorite selection out (assuming it's not marked "personal") on cardstock, put it in a vintage frame, and sign it and date it.

A bargain, I muse, at thrice the price.

here is the truth about december:

and the world splits into inside and outside,
softened by the silence of frozen impressions collecting in drifts.
groundfrost and stiff joints, blood dulled to lukewarm;
small pleasures like small lights clinging to skeleton trees,
no two the same.

In my current struggles between embattled sleep and fatigued waking, her words are perhaps speaking stronger to me than they would otherwise. But I can practically taste them on my tongue, soft as mist and sharp as sugar, leaden with old melancholy worn into nostalgia.

Here is the small truth
hidden between the drops of dancing rain:
it was always everything
and will ever be nothing at all.

I would kiss the clouds if I could,
leaden with water as they are,
for the taste of perpetuity.

I deplore that I first found her words (and in a real sense, found them nearly everywhere, the same day) with no attribution, but I am very glad I found them, in the end.

she thinks she might be turning into something nocturnal
it has to do with the street lamps
and how they purr into the glazed night
a bed cowering in the wrong corner
and the eternal hurricane whose eye rests
just behind her temples
and she wonders sometimes
what kind of dust she would find
in the corners of her skeleton
if she ever took the time to let it settle

Anna Peters. I am very pleased you exist in this world. Very pleased, indeed.

sweet as the apple of Peru, the inklings of the Eastern Sioux

Caught on Hulu while watching an episode of the Daily Show, but since this is a global campaign (save for the UK, at least right now), I felt it would be appropriate to mention here: Levi's latest commercial, which uses a powerful poem from Charles Bukowski, The Laughing Heart:

Your life is your life.
Know it while you have it.
You are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

It's a powerful video, and when we think in the broader sense of how universal denim is--from the fifteenth century, when it was uniformly known as 'sailor cloth', to now, where we have an infinite variety of dyes, shapes, fades, aging styles, and brands--I think the ad, paired with the commercial, speaks to a universal audience, about a universal message. Life. Live it to the fullest. Live it while you have it. Embrace it.

And thrive.

Speaking of powerful ads, let me bring your attention to a commercial from Taiwan that is as heartbreaking as it is strong. While the commercial only deals with five men (the original story featured ten, a mix of women and men), some of the most powerful images are from the original tale, including one of the most powerful for me,the man who carried the mourning portrait of his deceased wife on the cross-country tour.

So, Second Life news. This one's big. Mesh has gone live, along with a raise to the allowed prim size to 65 meters, from 10 meters. So what does this mean for those of us not on official viewer 3.0?

Yeah, that's the down side. We have to wait for mesh to be enabled in our viewers, if it ever is. So let's do the rundown:

Phoenix: Not updated.
Kirsten's Viewer: Updated but only for uploads on the mesh beta grid (but according to users who downloaded today, Kirsten's can see mesh).
Singularity: Not updated.
CoolVL: Not updated.
Firestorm: Not updated.
Imprudence: Not updated.
Emergence: Not updated.
Restrained Love: Not updated.
Rainbow: Not updated.
Ascent: Not updated.
Dolphin: Not updated.
Libretto: Not updated (but seriously, it's a text-only viewer; why would it be?).
METABolt: Not updated (but again, a text-only client).
Mobile Grid: Not updated (messenger app only).
OMV: Not updated (Linux viewer only, but it hasn't updated in a while nevertheless).
Pocket Metaverse: Not updated (but only an iPhone/Android app anyway).
Radegast: Not updated (low-graphic viewer anyway).
Sparkle: Not updated (iPhone client).

If you know of any other viewers, do let me know in the comments. But as of today, well...no one's rushed out an update. Keep a watch on your viewer's page, maybe you'll get lucky. In the meantime, I'll update when I get new information.

On the plus side, while no one's released mesh-enabled updates, several third-party viewers can make larger prims now, because apparently the code applies. So that's good news.

In the meantime, one artist has decided to combine her love of Elder Gods, Minecraft, and chibi cuteness into LittleCraft. Dread it. The cuteness has no bounds.

And The Secret World MMO will soon launch into beta. Apply now if the concept of an entire gaming space where all the conspiracy theories are true intrigues you. (It intrigues me, I just don't think I have the time.)

Finally, someone's come out with a Faceless Fox avatar. Beyond the name, I don't know anything about it, but I'm definitely intrigued. Tell you when I know more.

still, you're older than you feel

(from the random album; vintage photograph, unknown photographer or precise date.)

You're sad because you're sad.

It's psychic. It's the age. It's chemical.

Go see a shrink or take a pill,

or hug your sadness like an eyeless doll

you need to sleep.

(from the random album; Emile Bayard's somewhat infamous "Cosette Sweeping".)

Well, all children are sad

but some get over it.

Count your blessings. Better than that,

buy a hat. Buy a coat or pet.

Take up dancing to forget.

(from the random album; Irina Shapchits in a performance of the ballet Coppélia.)

Forget what?

Your sadness, your shadow,

whatever it was that was done to you

the day of the lawn party

when you came inside flushed with the sun,

your mouth sulky with sugar,

in your new dress with the ribbon

and the ice-cream smear,

and said to yourself in the bathroom,

I am not the favorite child.

(from the random album; 'Samara', attributed variously to Natalie Shau, 'BlueBlack' [deactivated deviantArt account] or adriana85 [deactivated deviantArt account].)

My darling, when it comes

right down to it

and the light fails and the fog rolls in

and you're trapped in your overturned body

under a blanket or burning car,

(from the random album; picture of the 'Sine' doll from the first series of Little Apple Dolls; photographer lagreenwitch.)

and the red flame is seeping out of you

and igniting the tarmac beside your head

or else the floor, or else the pillow,

none of us is;

or else we all are.

~ Margaret Atwood, "A Sad Child", from Morning in the Burned House: New Poems, copyright 1995 by Margaret Atwood, printed by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.)