what would you do, do, do?

We rejoin our previous coverage, already in progress.



In the library upstairs, Alice straitjacket model ripped from the second American McGee's Alice game, check.



And large pustulent Boomer ripped from one of the Left 4 Dead games, check. What I don't get: the bling on the bloody wooden club studded with nails. The bright blue sparkly stars flying out of the floating books. The floating books were very well done, hint of glow, so...was the rest really needed?



Sitting in the nursery, two things occurred to me: first, that this room was, again, rather well done. Sure, haunted nursery, seen it before, but the translucent blue floating toys, that was neatly done.

But second, and this is VERY important--if you're going to explicitly say "no sex" in your event description, don't put a sex bed in the childrens' nursery. Just...don't do it, be smart about these things.

Oh, dear gods:

[21:25] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: screms
[21:25] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: daddys
[21:25] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: yus ?
[21:25] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i gets gums in you hars
[21:25] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx giggles cutely
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: i smelys down hers
[21:26] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: ewww look
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you farts
[21:26] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: No!
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: why it stinkys



[21:26] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: because of that man there
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ewwws
[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: he needs bafs
[21:26] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: see thats what happens when you swallow bubble gum



[21:26] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no :(
[21:27] Lxxxxx Dxxxxx: yikes
[21:27] exxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: daddys dont puts me in that cage

I loathe affected baby talk, and, as I've said before, it's because I and my friends at that age did not devolve into this affected baby patois, so it always hits my ear as unnecessary, overly precious--in the very worst sense of the world--and a measure of the avatar's intelligence, or extreme lack thereof. There is more to this haunt than the one path leading up to the one house, but after this conversation, I fled. Nothing in this house would have made me run away, but--these two did, at speed.

Overall, I'd say it's an overdone haunt with several overused cliches, but it also has some good things here and there. If you're up for winnowing through the obnoxious to get to the nice, feel free. Elsewise, move along to the next haunt experience.

couldn't take all this anymore

NASA's saying that the astrological houses number not twelve, but thirteen. The Twitterverse immediately became enraged, posting loud and long about the injustice of it all. There are only two problems with this:

1. The thirteenth house, Ophiuchus, has been known for millenia, it's just largely been ignored as inconvenient. And
2. As far as the actual, scientific star positions changing, NASA's absolutely right.

Okay, but what does this all mean to the casual layman? Not a darn thing. Because astrology isn't science. It's as valid as reading tea leaves, or Tarot cards, or any of a double-dozen other forms of divination where interpretation matters far more than practical application.

Anyway, to the haunt. The name under SL search said "Viper's Haunted Halloween". The description? Every horror cliche thrown into a blender and set on frappe:

"Halloween, Haunted, Ghost, Zombie, scary, Death, Angels Asylum, Nursery, Spooky, Butcher, creepy, haunted House, Cementary, Insanity, Pumpkins, Death- Army, Graveyard,Walking Dead, Creatures, Maneater,Forestlo, LostSouls,apocalypse, horror, no sex,"

That is a direct quote, bad grammar left intact.

But...I'm a completionist, so I went.



Yep. Standing at the corner of Seen It and It's Been Done Before, so far. I'm hearing loud male laughter, children singing the theme from Poltergeist, random ghostly moaning, bits of Tubular Bells, and chainsaw noises. As if they couldn't understand which sound to use, so used them all at once.



These are some really good pumpkin glows, though.



The front yard of their haunted mansion, also...very nice. Nicely atmospheric. This haunt may be improving.



The burning divination table was well done, and the chair that levitates, then smashes into pieces? Very nice touch.



And then, we returned to the land of cliche. Hot dogs? Really? Not even a cannibal kitchen, just a kitchen with a food stand in it operated by a cannibal. What's the going rate to rent part of a kitchen these days?



Basement asylum. Of course. Complete with mutants, blood-spattered "doctors", and flies buzzing around badly decaying corpses. How...trite.

And we will adjourn to the second part, for the remaining images.

and time can heal but this won't, so if you’re coming my way just don’t

(continued from part one)



Another graveyard, drifting in and out of fog.



Err...wait. Everything made sense in theme until the clown. And the bound bandaged man. And the stake awaiting victims. What?



Most of said mansion is the same, just a few additional touches, here and there.



There's something odd about this mirror, too. Not to mention the baby-parts candle in front of it.



And whose handprint is this on the window? More to the point...whose blood was used to make it?

All in all, this sim is well worth wandering. It's spooky, only occasionally trite (I'm pointing at you, clown), and perfect for pictures nearly everywhere. Make the time to visit if you can.

did you think it all through? all these things will catch up to you

Deadman's Island called to me, so off I went to wander.



The ground is rough and uneven, the earth dark and lifeless. Only sere grasses and black-leaved trees grow in the cold earth. The shade of the last ship to crash still slowly sinks into the still waters of a small cove.



An abandoned mine revealed skeletons, over-scavenged remains of treasure piles, and spiderwebs big enough to hold some really terrifying spiders.



Screaming shades in the graveyard do not bode well for the health of the island...



Wait...I believe I've been here before. The land has changed in the intervening year...but that house is very familiar...

(continued in part two)

the collision of your kiss

The Crones Garden Main Store & Voodoo Moon Clan Swamps, the land said, coming in. Wait, is this a haunted house, or a Bloodlines clan sim? It looks more like a Bloodlines clan sim, but...I am endeavoring to put judgement aside, for the nonce. Onward I go.



After finding, and leaving, several clearly clan-only lands, I think I found the haunt. It was very, very loud with booming thunder and some sort of...deep base drone of some kind? No idea what it was.



That's my kind of welcome mat.



The art's a tad bit disturbing, as well...



Haunted TV, check...just when I had hopes that this was going to be a less tired haunt.



I'd say also, creepy clown, check, but this one's a clown doll...that's slightly different, and not as cliched.

Also very creepy.



Wau, some really disturbing framed art. Nicely done.

It's not a bad house, overall. I'd recommend setting sounds to minimal, because of the loud booming noises which become very repetitive, but...there are some very subtle squeaks and unearthly giggles that would be missed if that was done, so...I can't say one way or the other. I suppose it will all come down to how into loud drones and shaking metal sounds you are.

but just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die

At After the Fall, I found a supposedly "Spooky interactive" haunted house. Sure, why not?



And of course it starts off with a haunted TV. On the floor. Just...on the floor.

Sure.



The chair is eating me! Well, to be fair, I should have known, it said it was a Hungry Chair...



And now I am a salad.



"This way"...complete with black-as-pitch corridor, ridiculously bright bloody footprints, and drippy letters written in blood.



"Come if you dare"...because the first set of bloody footprints didn't scare off intruders, so the second one would, of course. Right?



And now it's simply "Beware"...in the dark, more nearly glowing footprints, oooh, scaaaary.



And, of course, there's a basement lab for mad science. Sure.



Because everyone stores barrels of toxic waste in their basements. Happens all the time.

So, here's my question after all of that: where are all the original ideas? At this point, it feels like it's all been done--multi-floor mansion for no apparent reason, unexplained random spooks, the cannibal kitchens, the destroyed nurseries, the mad scientist in the basement or the Thing in the Cage somewhere...Is it just me? I want backstories. I want to know why the haunts are there. I don't want the evil Satanic ritual in the childrens' wing, I don't want carnivorous cooks, I don't want haunted TVs, we've done this. Done it to, you'll pardon the phrasing, to death.

There were a few cute touches, for which I was glad. The wheelchair in the nursery, child-sized: that was a neat touch. The static ball, that was pretty neat, too. While dated, the head-on-the-platter table, that was actually pretty cool. And the grounds were attractive and atmospheric.

But along with that, the sheer randomness of the rest was slightly irritating. Why did the bathroom mirror say "Redrum"? What does it refer to, because there's no other trace of The Shining in the entire place? Why the mad science in the basement? Why the toxic waste? There's no point to any of it.

At least give me haunted spaces with some attempt at a backstory, or failing that, some sense of unity. That's all I ask.

I'm not running from you

(Continued from part one...)

So, we were exploring the Poison Apple haunt. Remember the creepy mannequin with the wire-pin arm and leg?



There's another one in the same room. Where do these come from?!?

(Note from the Editrix, before posting: turns out they come from Remarkable Oblivion's Spook Show gacha. I don't know if that machine is in the store yet, but you can at least find the disturbing "Freida" in the Marketplace.)



This house has crazy-wide doors. I mean, really, really wide--and really, really tall--doors. Me for scale.



Yep. It's definitely murder. All over the place.



The wraith that manifests, then glides through wanderers on the outside upper balcony. It's a chilling sensation.



Because a collection of possessed dolls facing the door when one enters, why, THAT'S not creepy at all.



I believe the dolls are also from Remarkable Oblivion, now that I think on it. All in all, this was an effective little haunt, using some props I've seen overused as well as props I haven't seen in every single haunt on the grid. Effectively combined, even trite props can regain freshness and impact. This house is a great example of that. Do pause for a visit if you have the time.

bury me, bury me

Found a haunt in Poison Apple. My first reaction was "Hmm...":



Because I have zero idea what the sign is trying to tell me. But at least they're offering special balloon lights? That's a neat concept, over the traditional flashlight giveaways.



So...yes, these are likely ripped meshes from other games, but the use to which they're being put is the interesting part, here. These children--the one dead-faced boy with the toy, the three blood-spattered, dead-eyed older girls--are all slowly, leisurely spinning in the shallows of the swamp. They're not doing anything else, there's no sound cues, they're just...there. It's eerie.



Oookay. If anyone speaks Japanese, do let me know what this sign and the first sign said? Because I'm too Anglicized, I'm not good at remembering "deer-ski chalet-little shack-pinecone in holder-man running from explosion", instead of actual English letters. Hopelessly plebian, I know, but it's also what stopped me learning Russian. I was fine hearing it, but seeing it in Cyrillic kept throwing me.



That is the creepiest mannequin I've seen in my life. And I've seen a lot of creepy mannequins.

(To be continued in part two...)

look in my eyes, you're killing me, killing me

Next, Tayren's Fashions has a haunt this year?



Apparently so--there's a signpost for it, just past the gazebo. I elected to enter the Caverns first.



Where are there are dragons, and skeletons, and crystals, and many, many very bad men with big knives.



See? Dragon.



Past the caverns, it's really more of a haunted nature walk than anything. There are small thatched cottages, some of them with things inside; there's a tavern with ghost dancers and intriguingly creepy foods. But they're really more set pieces, in feeling.


Not that set pieces are bad. Too many, with too many different themes, and it's just Hallows clutter; but this was designed with a definite ethic in mind, and it all ties together very well.



Oh, and...there's a zombie horse you can ride. But...it does rather ill things to your avatar. Still, if you want the ride more than you want a whole neck...feel free!