I caught you knockin' at my cellar door

Great, here we go again...

From ellen (verm.azurova3@gmail.com)
6:34 PM (4 hours ago)
To [me]

Hi,

*cue aggrieved sigh* Hi, Ellen.

Like your blog very much!

I highly doubt that.

We Are SPOTO, An Outstanding IT Certification Online Training with 18 Years Of Educational Experience. Here Is Our Site: spotoclub*com.

And I care...why?

Moreover, it's obvious you haven't read the blog. In the past ever. Because while the site you gave (the malformed, NON-LINKING site, I might add) does track out to at least be surface-level up and up (as in, it relates to an actual registered website that does seem to involve online training, but that doesn't mean you couldn't just be another money sink to get students to rack up thousands in debt paid to you for substandard IT 'training'), the fact that you Seem to Speak with Weird Capitalization bugs me. And the fact that you couldn't just send a clickable link. That is highly sus, Ellen.

Sincerely invite you to cooperate with us for a post.

"A" post? Just the one? Okaaaay...

*You write a 300-500 words article based on keywords with do-follow links provided by us and post it on your blog or social website(Facebook,Instagram,Youtube,etc), we'll pay for it!

Dafuq is a "do-follow link"??

Also...what? Wait. So you're not even really interested in the post HERE, is what you're saying. And you're going to pay me for putting up essentially a permanent ad for your school, on my blog?

Riiiiight.

Okay, let's go over some things, Ellen.

I don't have Facebook. I'm not going to create an account just for you.

While I do have an Instagram, it has an extremely narrow friggin' focus, and I do not alter from that without serious cause. I do not snap pictures of my lunch, I do not post selfies, I do not post videos of me walking around the hip local dives with my phone in my face. In point of fact, I only have two pictures on my Insta that are just straight, unfiltered, unaltered, un-damaged pictures--the one that started the account, and one I snapped in utter frustration one day. You are not a serious enough cause for me to change the reason I set up that account in the first place

And dear gods, Ellen, have you seen my YouTube page? It's not exactly a hive of activity! I actually have subscribers, which still baffles me, because the last time I updated was last year.

Now, sure, do I want to be more active on YouTube? Yes. I would love the funds to get a mic setup and start doing esoteric things in an oversaturated narration market that will be instantly demonetized and restricted from open listing. Grand dream. But it hasn't happened in the five years I've wanted to, and I don't think your offer to let you advertise on a blog that has NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING YOU DO is going to net me enough to buy a mic and a pop filter, yeah?

Waiting for your positive reply.

Keep waiting,

Best Regards!

Whatever.