baby, you're lost, baby you're a lost cause

[Help] Natures Furry: I have the 30th off and plan to play like...its the end of the world and I know it

Wednesday, November 28th, I logged in to City of Heroes for the last Wednesday strike force ever. In two days, the game will be gone.

(from the City of Heroes album; the crumbling of Alastair's tower)

[SuperGroup] Your supergroup owes 1900 Prestige in base upkeep by 12/02 04: 07 PM

And yet, the hits just keep coming. So many people over the weekend just stopped logging in. They gutted their bases, or had already done so at the start of November, so at this point, their bases cannot be accessed. I doubt anyone's going to get around to paying our base's upkeep, because seriously, locking our base from use in December, when the entire game leaves on November 30th? I mean really, what does it matter?

But more than that is how quiet the game is, now.

We've tried everything we know to do. We've talked to every company we can think of--several of whom made offers. (These were all, as far as we know, rejected by NCSoft out of hand.) It's feeling very, very close kin to the fight to keep Firefly on the air, and how passionately we as fans fought for that show--to the point that once it had become obvious that the show was gone, many fans joined their energies to local, domestic and international charity efforts. Because if they were going to keep fighting, then damn it, they'd keep fighting for something that would matter.

To this day, there are Browncoats giving to charity by selling merchandise, by showing up in costume for live auctions, by writing stories, songs, and essays no longer just about the show, but all of it started with that passion, that sense of unity and understanding, we had gained by seeing Mal Reynolds in that moment in Serenity Valley, knowing all hope was lost, and fighting anyway.

Because sometimes we have to fight forces bigger than us. Because sometimes, even if we lose--maybe especially if we lose--it's still important to fight. Even lost causes teach us things about ourselves, our fellow beings, and the importance, sometimes, of following our hearts.

Doesn't make these last moments any less depressing.

To that end--and it's not that I don't know why this is happening--I've been finding it very, very hard to log in to Second Life. I'm dragging my feet on even going in just long enough to clear emails and IMs. There are three reasons for this (in simple terms, loss, heartbreak and viewer dysfunction being those three reasons), but that doesn't make the struggle any less painful, either.

Now, Kouse's Sanctum--among others--starting their Advent Calendar offerings on December 1st will help with this. Far be it from me to pass up the opportunity to own such gorgeous holiday-themed things--especially since I lost all my other holiday stuph when my seasonal folder holding all of them evaporated.

And, weirdly, once City of Heroes can't be logged into--once it's firmly out of the hinterland of maybe-we-can-save-it into let's-see-what-we-still-have terrain...it might be a little easier to log into other games. Right now, I'm too frustrated, upset, hurt and angry to deal with anything but Minecraft, and even Minecraft I'm playing solo.

In the meantime, people are still pondering where they want to be when the servers kick everyone out of the world:

[Help] Uncyste Scinn: I vote for Pocket D. Everyone needs to act happy and party it up so it doesn't hurt so bad.
[Help] I L L Y R I A: No, no Pocket D for me. I will end my time atop the statue of Atlas when the servers go dark

It is a big enough statue. Wonder how many of us can crowd on top as the world dissolves?

[Help] Ben Alternating: what time does the servers shut down on 11-30?
[Help] Luminary Eclipse: 11:59:59pm PST

Some are saying this is actually not midnight on November 30th, but midnight on November 29th, because NCSoft is calling the shots from Korea. I honestly don't know, but I know people--possibly including me--will be gathering about an hour before midnight...just in case.

[Help] Alice Malice: I still think the hill in Talos sounds like a better place for a last stand, but so long as we are taking out Rikti Drop ships, I am there
[Help] Aerianne Connor: There's always last-minute evac at Portal Corp, I suppose.

Not my fave, but as things go, I suppose it would be better to hang out at Portal Corps than in Mercy Isles:

(from the City of Heroes album; residents of Mercy Isles being evacuated...willingly or not)

At least at Portal Corps, they're used to evacuations. Rikti raids have happened so often over the past eight years that their employees move like clockwork towards the safe zones.

By contrast, those lined up to be led to evacuation vessels in Grandville seem puzzled, angry and scared, alternately. And who can blame them? Living in the darksome maddened star of the Mercy Isles, in the single most fortressed and over-protected (armaments-wise) city in the entire chain; living, essentially, in the heart of Lord Recluse's domain...and they have to leave? Where are they going to go?

It doesn't help that many of us, months later, are still asking that question. Where are we going to go? And what game, for the rest of our lives, will not be held up to the increasingly distorted glow of City's nostalgia?