Wednesday, April 25, 2007

but I fear I have nothing to give

Morning smiles
like the face of a newborn child
innocent unknowing


Yesterday.

Yesterday the statue brought to life and I talked most of the day.

Yesterday I built the first ten of thirty gift boxes, for my art photographer to put limited edition prints of me in, and sell to patrons.

Yesterday I came up with the second version of the tea-table for Taiyou House, and I'm well on my way to a design I like.

Yesterday.

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Yesterday the darkened moon drifted closer. Yesterday a friend of mine designed a gun. Yesterday I counted the grid down with the statue, warm in warm arms, and was flung into limbo with lips that still remembered kisses.

Yesterday.

Winter's end
promises of a long lost friend
speaks to me of comfort


Yesterday I realized things are happening far too quickly with the statue brought to life.

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Yesterday I told him I'd dreamed about him.

but I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose
here in this lonely place
tangled up in our embrace


Yesterday I found the dance, the lovely dance that's part of a dance machine a certain Duchess maintains. It's called, "Dip Me In Chocolate". The pictures you see are stills from the dance.

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Yesterday. Yesterday I got shot in the face at the new favorite sandbox. While I will go back, I have found a new favorite sandbox. Yesterday I learned that, though I build slow, I do build, I'm a fair copyist, a good pattern researcher, and I'm committed to learning more.

there's nothing I'd like
better than to fall
but I fear I have nothing to give


Yesterday I discovered new love is a possibility that may not be undesired. By both of us.

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Yesterday I finally came to terms with being human. I won't have as many problems, now, wearing my human face.

Yesterday I finally said goodbye to the ghost of my vampire princeling.

Wind in time
rapes the flower trembling on the vine
nothing yields to shelter it
from above
they say temptation will destroy our love
the never ending hunger


Yesterday I spent far too short a time sparring with a sword with my favorite Victorian. I am lousy with a sword. I still killed him.

He sat on the civilized grass of Caledon and said, he must get better. We must spar more. I am, obscurely, for this.

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Yesterday I put up two windchimes in front of Taiyou, one on either side of the front door, high up towards the roof. They have to be touched to chime, but all that means for me is that they won't chime always.

but I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose


Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I was happy.

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Yesterday I began to breathe again, and that clenched feeling in my chest eased.

here in this lonely place
tangled up in our embrace
there's nothing I'd like
better than to fall


Yesterday the burning of the train wreck slowed.

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Yesterday I finally felt like I am recovering, from everything the past two months has thrown at me.

but I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose
I have nothing to give
We have so much to lose...


Yesterday I never wanted to stop talking to the statue come to life.

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Yesterday was...pretty good.

I wouldn't mind another day like yesterday.

(Lyrics are Sarah McLachlan's "Fear")

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