cannot be free and you can't deny the end is coming, the end is coming (part III)

(Roleplay entry. Continued from part II.)

"Your Grace, the calculations indicate--"

Hiro looked up from the desk.

"--that the rotational velocity has a maximum value of 225 km/s (140 mi/s) at 1,300 ly (82,000,000 AU) from the core, and it has its minimum possibly as low as 50 km/s (31 mi/s) at 7,000 ly (440,000,000 AU) from the core. Further out, rotational velocity rises out to a radius of 33,000 ly (2.1×109 AU), where it reaches a peak of 250 km/s (160 mi/s). The velocities slowly decline beyond that distance, dropping to around 200 km/s (120 mi/s) at 80,000 ly (5.1×109 AU). These velocity measurements imply a concentrated mass of about 6×109 M☉ in the nucleus. The total mass of the galaxy increases linearly out to 45,000 ly (2.8×109 AU), then more slowly beyond that radius."

"Okay, but can it be done?"

"It depends on if we can--"

"Never mind...begin the calculations."

He moved to the center of the room on the Gray Area.

"Read them aloud." He began to intone as the AI began to speak the theory, overlaying both to create form.

"CORONZON, ZACARE CA OD ZAMRAN, ODO CICLE QAA, ZORGE LAP ZIRDO NOCO VOVIN, HOATH--"

"Denote as D-quarks, leptonic. Denote as D-quarks--"

"The right-handed particles are those of the standard model. As the gauge symmetry is unbroken, physical particles must be singlets under SU(2) transformation, and we thus get the following particle spectrum, where g is the coupling constant of the gauge group SU(2)L and Dμ is the corresponding covariant derivative. We have used the unitary gauge--"

"Ilasa viviala pereta salamanu balata das acaro odazodi busada od belioraxa balita: das Inusi caosaji lusadanu emoda das ome od taliobe darlapa iehe ilasa mada zodilodarepe Zodacare od zodamaranu. Odo ciacle qaa zodoreje lape zodiredo noco mada hoathahe. San Tonium Sen'Hee'Kay Zanconium Spruto Menok Sal'Ensam..."

A sputtered noise from the speakers. "Your Grace--arming an active Weapon of Magical Destruction on board is a violation of protocol. After the Countess had the accident in that small 1940's town...you yourself said--"

"Shut up, Al--"

"Alakash, Manurvava, Aalakama--"

"--function jacobi(n, k)
assert(k > 0 and k % 2 == 1)
n = n % k
t = 1
while n ~= 0 do
while n % 2 == 0 do
n = n / 2
r = k % 8
if r == 3 or r == 5 then
t = -t
end
end--"

"--Zaranta, Karanta--"

"--n, k = k, n
if n % 4 == 3 and k % 4 == 3 then
t = -t
end
n = n % k
end
if k == 1 then
return t
else
return 0
end
end--"

Hiro began to type frantically on the holographic display.

{\displaystyle \left({\tfrac {\alpha }{\mathfrak {a}}}\right){n}\left({\tfrac {\beta }{\mathfrak {a}}}\right){n}=\left({\tfrac {\alpha \beta }{\mathfrak {a}}}\right){n}.}
(
α
a
)
n
(
α
b
)
n
=
(
α
a
b
)
n
.
{\displaystyle \left({\tfrac {\alpha }{\mathfrak {a}}}\right){n}\left({\tfrac {\alpha }{\mathfrak {b}}}\right){n}=\left({\tfrac {\alpha }{\mathfrak {ab}}}\right){n}.}

There was a very bright light...

(Continued in part IV.)

and I'm gonna set things straight again, I'm gonna prove them wrong

And then...the Dark Sea arrived.



We'd been discussing various things. The Duke had three full sims originally: Armada of the floating walkways and the patchwork boats; another sim he mostly used for sandbox experiments; and one more, a more medieval-centered sim of shadows, castles, and drifting fog.



This time out, he wants to make sure he can maintain what he has before he considers increasing. So he put in for two sims only: Gearhaven, which will be a mix of the old Gearhaven sim with some new touches, and next to it a purely ocean sim, the Dark Sea.



Now, I will be honest--my plans for Gearhaven were mostly disconnected islands and sea life, and...then I taught Justine how to terraform, so now we have ALL THE LAND, save for the center of open water where the Ocean Club is going to sit. There may be room for sea life around it, but...that's about all.



So I will have to--judiciously--put out sea life, and some sea flora, keeping in mind that openspace sims are restricted by design on prims and scripts. We don't want a ton there, we want to keep it for sailing--especially if Armada returns, it will go on the other side to link Gearhaven to Armada and have open water between.



I just need to figure out how to do all that effectively...while terraforming the rest of everything...decorating Steamopolis...planning the Foundation gala...oh, and working, socializing, and attending live poetry performances.

Should be a breeze.



Sure.

there's a second voice inside my head, it tells me shut up and trust this (part II)

(Continued from part I.)

We pick up where we left off, just starting the presentation.

[16:33] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Welcome to the presentation gala for the inaugural Gearhaven Endowment for the Arts, Sciences, Magick, and Metaverse Culture Prize for Steampunk Preservation. Thank you all for coming.

[16:34] Wordsmith Jarvinen: The Gearhaven Endowment for the Arts, Sciences, Magick and Metaverse Culture recognizes that interactive (and occasionally immersive) creation of speculative scenarios are vitally important to diversity of thought and experience.
[16:34] Lightweaver Balan listens
[16:34] Wordsmith Jarvinen: The goal of the endowment is to promote highly interactive and immersive roleplay across the Multiverse, with an emphasis on Steampunk, Dieselpunk, and Sci-Fi communities.
[16:35] Wordsmith Jarvinen: In 2006 Desmond Shang bought the first Caledon Sim. In 3 months that expanded to 5 Sims. Since then the Steamlands in Second Life have expanded to dozens of Sims.
[16:35] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Over the years, hundreds of people have put in thousands of hours creating the glory that are the collective Steamlands of SL.
[16:36] Wordsmith Jarvinen: And there have been some quite amazing creations.

So many of the wonders listed in that link, by the way? They're gone now. Speaking of things vanishing.

[16:36] Wordsmith Jarvinen: In their 15 years on the grid, Duke and Duchess Hiro-Shatner Orr have seen many of these sims rise to glory only to disappear back beneath the waves.
[16:36] Edward Pearse: Wow, they're old

Gosh, thank you, Edward. :p

[16:37] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) grins!
[16:37] Lightweaver Balan: indeed
[16:37] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): laughs
[16:37] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) mutters, "SOOOO OLD."
[16:37] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) snerks
[16:37] Wordsmith Jarvinen: There are many reasons a sim or build may be lost, one of which is lack of funds to pay the tier.
[16:37] Wordsmith Jarvinen: To address this, the Duke and Duchess have instituted the Gearhaven Prize for Steampunk Preservation. Recipients receive a one-time payout of 25,000 lindens.
[16:38] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Two recipients have been chosen to receive the first Gearhaven Prize. Both have made significant contributions to Steamlands Culture. The first recipient is Michael Macbeth and his Tesla Theatre.
[16:38] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) creaks helpfully
[16:38] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth) bows respectfully
[16:38] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Opened 15 May 2018 in Victoria City, Caledon, the Tesla Theatre and Lounge hosts live stage productions of plays, musicals and ballets; live musician; and DJ led dances. The beautifully ornate two story edifice is an homage to Nikolai Tesla.
[16:38] Lightweaver Balan: yay
[16:38] Wordsmith Jarvinen: I'd like to invite Michael to come up and talk a little bit about the Theatre, the obstacles he has faced, and his future plans. Michael?
[16:39] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner) claps
[16:39] Bain Finch (bainfinch): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[16:39] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) claps
[16:39] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): ☆(`'·.¸(`'·.¸ * ¸.·'´)¸.·'´)☆
[16:39] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): •.¸¸.·` APPLAUSE!! ´·.¸¸.•
[16:39] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): ☆(¸.·'´(¸.·'´ * `'·.¸)`'·.¸)☆

I know, I know, I've hated gestures all these years, but...someone gave me this and...it's pretty, it makes a clapping noise, it has mild crowd sounds, and it's slaved to F1. I get it.

[16:39] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪

[16:39] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): Thank you Chancellor, Your Graces, distinguished colleagues one and all.

I've always sort of handwaved off the level of respect for being a Duchess. I know I'm only one because I married a Duke. But...honestly, this? Helping to pull this off? Knowing we're going to move forward with it? It's honestly the first thing I've been a part of where I actually think I might be starting to earn that 'Your Grace' title.

[16:40] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): in 2009 I had been a theatre teacher in community colleges and high schools and produced or directed nearly a hundred plays.
[16:41] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): I heard in Second Life, you could make a replica of your theatre and use it to map out your RL stage pieces. But I quickly learned it was much, much more.
[16:42] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): I am really quite blessed I think- I get to make theatre shows, or revues, work with people from around the world, and put on amazing shows and spectacles, with the fun steam and dieselpunk flair which I have always enjoyed.
[16:42] ღ Vivian Song ღ (vivianasong): nods
[16:43] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): This year will bring another major production as well as some live performances and DJ'd dances, with DJs such as Duchess Gabrielle Riel, and many others.
[16:43] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): This isn't about making money, it's about making art, making a difference in peoplke's lives. Being the conscience of the people, and the mirror of their own conscience.

That, right there. Don't get me wrong, financing helps, absolutely, but--the goal has to go beyond just the acquisition of coin. Especially with theatre, which is the closest of any art form to reflecting who we are back at us, so we can better understand.

[16:44] ღ Vivian Song ღ (vivianasong): smiles
[16:44] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner) smiles
[16:44] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem): Hear, hear.
[16:44] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): I am very very grateful for this award and entreat you all, at your leisure to see the Tesla, and let me know what you might like to see performed.

And while I never doubted the second of the first two awards should go to Marshall Ortega, I hadn't heard of Mr. Macbeth's efforts before we looked into him and his theatre. I am so glad, and grateful, we chose to honor him as well.

[16:44] Bain Finch (bainfinch): cheers for the community builders

Always. And that's the point of this award, really.

[16:44] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): Thank you all.
[16:44] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner) claps
[16:44] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) applauds
[16:44] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[16:44] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): hurrah!
[16:44] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): ☆(`'·.¸(`'·.¸ * ¸.·'´)¸.·'´)☆
[16:44] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): •.¸¸.·` APPLAUSE!! ´·.¸¸.•
[16:44] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): ☆(¸.·'´(¸.·'´ * `'·.¸)`'·.¸)☆
[16:44] Lightweaver Balan: **********Applause!!**********
[16:44] Circle2 Claven claps
[16:44] Lightweaver Balan: **********Applause!!**********
[16:44] ღ Vivian Song ღ (vivianasong): claps
[16:44] Saazerac (saazerac.atheria) applauds enthusiastically
[16:45] Edward Pearse: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
[16:45] Edward Pearse: ☆ -~*APPLAUSE*~-☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
[16:45] Edward Pearse: ☆-~*AWESOME*~-☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
[16:45] Edward Pearse: ☆☆~~-WoOoOoOoHoOoOoOo-~~☆☆
[16:45] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) grins
[16:45] RoseDrop Rust: Huzzah!

And I'm pretty sure those in the audience saw Mr. Macbeth's passion and spirit, too. That counts for a great deal.

[16:45] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Thank you Michael. The second award goes to Fuzzball Ortega and Steelhead Bay. Fuzz, please come up and tell us about the history of Steelhead Bay and your future plans.
[16:45] Wordsmith Jarvinen: For those who haven't been there, it's an enchanting region with Victorian houses and shops, attractive plants, a lighthouse, a pirate ship, an observatory, and an airship.
Zaida Gearbox (zaida.gearbox): jumps up and offers a steelhead
[16:45] Zaida Gearbox (zaida.gearbox): Hoooo!
[16:45] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) laughs
[16:45] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) grins
[16:46] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): As is tradition!
[16:46] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner) laughs
[16:47] Fuzzball Ortega: Didn't work on a speech, my apologies, but I am used to being behind a podium
[16:47] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Quite all right.

Except he'd turned partially away from the crowd, facing a side wall. Seemed odd. I didn't figure out why until Justine uploaded her pictures of the event.

[16:48] Fuzzball Ortega: I came onto the Grid back in 2006, for those who remember Darien Mason, he and I were acquainted in other Aethernet circles, and that's where I found out about SL. He had described it as Sims On Acid, and I was intrigued
[16:48] RoseDrop Rust: heh
[16:48] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): laughs
[16:49] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Well, that's true enough.
[16:49] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem): interesting description yet not inaccurate...
[16:49] Bain Finch (bainfinch): lol
[16:49] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener): Fleeb, indeed.
[16:49] Fuzzball Ortega: After arriving to the welcome area, he teleported me to the original Steelhead City, and that was where I stayed.

And this angle showed me what he'd been looking at, and..pure serendipity, really. In the rushed madness of getting maps back up, I hadn't bothered to do more than just make sure maps were up and visible, but...the wall Marshall Ortega's facing? Is the one that has the early map of Steelhead on it. He wasn't facing away from the crowd--he was remembering Steelhead's beginnings. There's something...so touching about that.

[16:49] Panza Finch (panza.eilde) wistfully wishes that Genie was here...
[16:50] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods.
[16:50] Fuzzball Ortega: A few years back, sadly, TotalLunar Eclipse was not able to make tier on the Steelhead regions, and they were shut down

It was a heart strike for many, both residents who lived there, and for Lunar, and for a great many residents of the grid, that loss left a hole in their lives.

[16:50] Edward Pearse: Yeah I guessed it was going to be THAT photo

Because of course it was. Honestly, I was surprised I'd still held onto it.

[16:50] Bain Finch (bainfinch): it's a great picture
[16:50] Fuzzball Ortega: For awhile, I wandered The Grid, even visited areas on the Mainland.
[16:50] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): It is...a picture. :p
[16:52] Fuzzball Ortega: I even made my home in Caledon for awhile. However, it wasn't quite Steelhead. So, around 2017, I thought Steelhead was gone long enough, and purchased Steelhead Bay.
[16:52] Bain Finch (bainfinch): :-)
[16:52] Bain Finch (bainfinch): that long ago?!?!

I know. Feels like just last year, doesn't it?

[16:52] Fuzzball Ortega: It has been a real struggle. I'm not a builder nor a terraformer. For awhile, I kept saying, "I'm not The Elf, but I'm trying my damnedest"

Having now terraformed most of two sims? I have mad respect for the difficulty levels involved.

[16:53] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Mmhmm.
[16:53] Dharma Bum (improvateur): Persistence furthers...
[16:53] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth) nods, totally relating
[16:54] Fuzzball Ortega: I did have some help along the way. But it's been a real struggle what with August 2019 thru November 2020 of being unemployed.
[16:54] Edward Pearse: Yeah I hear that one
[16:54] Dharma Bum (improvateur): ouch

Hard not to. That's relevant to so many right now.

[16:54] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods.
[16:54] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth) nods
[16:54] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): But perserverance and commitment.
[16:54] Zaida Gearbox (zaida.gearbox): we love our fuzzy
[16:54] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): Thanks for keeping it going
[16:55] Fuzzball Ortega: Several charitable individuals helped me keep Steelhead Bay afloat, even The Lindens were extremely helpful, some of you long time folks may remember my "Love Letters To The Lindens" in the past (the letters included some choice words for them to fix stuff)
[16:55] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) grins
[16:56] Edward Pearse: *snerks*
[16:56] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods, grinning
[16:57] Fuzzball Ortega: So, now, my goal is to get more visitors to Bay. To bring back the town meetings. It may or may not get to the same level as the Steelhead of Old, but I'm a Steelheader, it's my home. And I'm going to continue to do my best to share that Steelhead Spirit.
[16:57] Fuzzball Ortega: Thank you.
[16:57] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): yay!
[16:57] Lightweaver Balan: **********Applause!!**********
[16:57] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) applauds!
[16:57] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): ☆(`'·.¸(`'·.¸ * ¸.·'´)¸.·'´)☆
[16:57] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): •.¸¸.·` APPLAUSE!! ´·.¸¸.•
[16:57] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): ☆(¸.·'´(¸.·'´ * `'·.¸)`'·.¸)☆
[16:57] Edward Pearse: ☆ -~*APPLAUSE*~-☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
[16:57] Edward Pearse: ☆-~*AWESOME*~-☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
[16:57] Edward Pearse: ☆☆~~-WoOoOoOoHoOoOoOo-~~☆☆
[16:57] Edward Pearse: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
[16:57] Lightweaver Balan: **********Applause!!**********
[16:57] RoseDrop Rust: here here
[16:57] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner) claps
[16:57] Dharma Bum (improvateur): Bravo!
[16:57] Bain Finch (bainfinch): Huzzah!
[16:57] Circle2 Claven applause
[16:57] Bain Finch (bainfinch): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[16:57] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth) claps
[16:57] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): yea!!!
[16:57] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[16:57] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) grins happily
[16:57] Saazerac (saazerac.atheria) claps and claps

I left this bit in, because yeah, the applause really DID go on for some time, and it had gone on a while for Mr. Macbeth. Sometimes we never adequately see how much we're respected, until that respect is shown.

[16:57] Fuzzball Ortega: And that was a VERY old picture, Emilly.
[16:58] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Thank you, Fuzzball.
[16:58] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Yes, yes it was. :D
[16:58] Edward Pearse: With this endowment Fuzz can get a skin made after 2010? *grins*
[16:58] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): At least it wasn't The Hair.
[16:58] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ouch
[16:58] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, stop.
[16:58] Bain Finch (bainfinch): lol
[16:58] Fuzzball Ortega: Steelhead first, Fuzzball makeover second
[16:58] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Good to know your people still respect you, Fuzz. :D
[16:58] Wordsmith Jarvinen: The Gearhaven Prize will be awarded quarterly.
[16:59] Wordsmith Jarvinen: You can get more information about the Endowment and nominations for the Prize by clicking on the easel in the foyer.

Eventually, we'll make something more permanent to live there, but you know, even that felt appropriate--that I'd nipped over to our parcel in Steelhead to nab the easel with the information in it for the gala.

[16:59] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): Good man with simple tastes.
[16:59] Wordsmith Jarvinen: In the meantime, please enjoy your time here at Gearhaven, there are food and drinks in the kitchen to your left and out in the garden, and DJ Violet Scrivener will be providing the music for dancing!
[16:59] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): hurrah!
[16:59] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) grins again
[16:59] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Actually, Justine asked me to move the food and drinks to the kitchen FROM the garden, so....

And most of us ended up dancing in the garden anyway, but no one seemed to mind.

[16:59] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): thank you Chancellor
[16:59] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): and thank you so much, Word, for being our MC today!
[17:00] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) applauds!
[17:00] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[17:00] Bain Finch (bainfinch): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[17:00] Wordsmith Jarvinen: That's why it says "in the kitchen to your left"
[17:00] Wordsmith Jarvinen: A special thank you to the following people for providing historical photos and documentation:
[17:00] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ah. hee!
[17:00] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) grins
[17:00] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Edward Pearse
[17:00] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): and congratulations to Mr. Macbeth and Marshall Fuzzball...
[17:00] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): Thank you.
[17:00] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): here here
[17:00] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Give Edward a clap since he's here
[17:00] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): ☆(`'·.¸(`'·.¸ * ¸.·'´)¸.·'´)☆
[17:00] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): •.¸¸.·` APPLAUSE!! ´·.¸¸.•
[17:00] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): ☆(¸.·'´(¸.·'´ * `'·.¸)`'·.¸)☆
[17:00] Fuzzball Ortega: Thank you
[17:00] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Lady Aeval-Leigh
[17:00] Fuzzball Ortega: Hoooo!
[17:00] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): yay, edward!
[17:00] Bain Finch (bainfinch): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[17:00] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): Claos
[17:00] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[17:00] Bain Finch (bainfinch): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[17:00] Bain Finch (bainfinch): *•.¸'*•.¸ ♥ ¸.•*´¸.•*
[17:00] Bain Finch (bainfinch): .•*♥¨`•BRAVO!!•¨`♥*•.
[17:00] Bain Finch (bainfinch): .•*`¸.•*´ ♥ `*•.¸`*•.¸
[17:00] Bain Finch (bainfinch): ♪♫~ ღ♥ღ Applause ღ♥ღ~♫♪
[17:00] Wordsmith Jarvinen: Kamilah Hauptman
[17:01] Wordsmith Jarvinen: And my pleasure to be able to announce today. Thank you

I won't lie, we had asked another presenter, who turned out to be unable to make it, but Mr. Jarvinen did so well. And we are beyond grateful to the Lyonesse, Lady Aeval, and Sir Edward Pearse, who went well above and beyond making sure we had access to historical maps from several sims in the steamlands, as well as other documents that helped put things into perspective.

[17:01] Bain Finch (bainfinch): said in a million times. Not the prims, it's the people that make communities in SL
[17:01] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Absolutely.

It is. And really, that's the point of the award, and in fact, the Gearhaven Foundation in the first place. To support and encourage those fostering connections between people, as much as those who have grand dreams and visions.

[17:01] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) smiles brightly! "let's turn over the stream to Ms Violet and have some fun!"
[17:02] Dharma Bum (improvateur): Welll said
[17:02] Wordsmith Jarvinen: People and the attitude to cooperate and create
[17:02] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem) goes to enable sound...
[17:02] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) smiles
[17:02] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Gentlemen, do remember to take your trophies home with you.
[17:02] Zaida Gearbox (zaida.gearbox): Hoooo!
[17:02] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener): The garden is set up for the dancing .. and the weather looks like it will be agreeable. Also shadowy in places.
[17:03] Zaida Gearbox (zaida.gearbox): fuzzy! fuzzy! fuzzy! fuzzy!
[17:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): True.
[17:03] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem): I do like shadowy places...

Indeed so. And we danced the rest of the night.

There were so many ways this could have gone wrong. There were so many ways it nearly did, from the sim having to be clawed back from the void by the Lindens, down to returning everything we'd set out for the gala, resulting in the move back to the old sim, which then needed to be decorated nearly from scratch because I'd been removing things as I transferred them over to Gearhaven Prime. But somehow, through sheer stubborn intransigence in some cases, we managed to get past every obstacle thrown in our way. And in the end, we got what we wanted--an event that was not about us, the organizers, but that brought more attention to our recipients. Who deeply deserve every iota of that spotlight.

And that was the end goal. That, I sincerely hope, will be the goal every quarter with the awards. We will be looking for future nominees, and we already have some names that helpful folks have tossed into the hat. Anyone can nominate someone they believe is worthy of consideration, after all, and we will consider anyone nominated. And it will get less intense from here, to be sure, but I'm hoping it will stay this meaningful.

there's a second voice inside my head, it tells me shut up and trust this (part I)

(This one, like the dinner party, is also going to be non-anonymized, but because this was an awards ceremony, and the recipients deserve the lauds.)

After spending most of the day frantically planting things in the garden for the gala, interrupted for script questions, building separate things, and moving furniture, I got a wailed IM and ported back to the main house.

[16:02] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i'm sure we tested these.
[16:02] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): and yet, here we are.
[16:02] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I am very confused

Apparently I had had Justine laboriously set out--in two different iterations of Steamopolis, no less!--forty Dali chairs. That could not be sat upon. WHY.

[16:02] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Do we need to replace them
[16:03] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i think so.
[16:03] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): LOL
[16:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): THIS DAY
[16:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I need eighteen ounces of gin, and all we have is the bottle of neurotoxic whiskey that I'm not allowed to drink!
[16:03] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): THIS DAY

You do not know how many times I thought of getting up and getting a shot, but...I had promised people I loved, and someone I once loved, that I wouldn't drink any more past the one shot necessary for the worship bargain. Go figure, they got concerned when the left side of my body went numb. For six hours.

The sensation came back, come on now...

[16:05] Bain Finch (bainfinch): sitting is highly over rated
[16:06] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): I think I'll stand.

There were other guests that chose to, so while we did set out workable chairs, at least the Finches were not alone.

[16:11] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): All right, I'm leaving this in your capable hands, Countess, I'm going to go see what I can rescue from the kitchen bundle
[16:11] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) grabs the drink tray on her way in
[16:11] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): we had chairs that looked good...
[16:11] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): but had an issue
[16:11] ΩღLina RodexღΩ (shannon.warden): i saw them i really did like them
[16:11] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): so we are setting up new chairs...sorry

Meanwhile, I was in the kitchen, gutting things out of the bundle of conjoined prims that had gotten returned on accident from Gearhaven Prime. We had both adults and urchins, so it couldn't just be alcohol. The caterers had set out deviled eggs and bread next to the coffee urn, so I just started rezzing out trays on a table nearby--rum, gin, tea, I think hot chocolate...and then threw my hands up and put the two trolleys we'd gotten from KittyCat's Creations for work out, on either side of her Cthulhu drinks stand...and it wasn't until I was leaving the kitchen that I realized I was putting out the Cthulhu drinks stand.

For guests.

Measure of stress, I suppose.

[16:12] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): Mr. Macbeth...thanks for coming...
[16:12] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): You have a spectacular home!
[16:12] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem) looks for a corner to darken...
[16:12] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): Truly
[16:12] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) shivers involuntarily
[16:12] Lightweaver Balan: wow someone lives here?
[16:13] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): a few of us do...
[16:13] Lightweaver Balan: good heavens
[16:13] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): we are in the process of moving to different sim...

I'm not including this to brag. It's just...Steamopolis started off as impossibly huge and complicated, and yes, awe-inspiring, but...at this point? It's where we live. And I was actually confused when people started reacting as if it was...well, what it was. Strange how we get used to things.

[16:16] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): We actually have several dark corners here! This room just has more light.
[16:16] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) reads back.
[16:16] ΩღLina RodexღΩ (shannon.warden): well i did open the door
[16:16] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Do I need to move some of the maps?
[16:16] ΩღLina RodexღΩ (shannon.warden): come in silly
[16:16] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): no the maps are perfect
[16:16] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth): *Tips hat and heads for the bar trolley*
[16:17] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, all right.
[16:17] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): OH!

Because I'd just remembered.

[16:17] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) quietly sips from a battered silver flask
[16:17] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Because I didn't think this through: A WARNING. Because I'm in no fit state to pick things up. Avoid the gear table with the wee cephalopod if you're not in an...experimental?...state of mind.
[16:18] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener): I thought it was a cake stand.
[16:18] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Some of the drinks are fine, most are eldritch, so....take your chances.
[16:18] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): i'll dip into them later...
[16:19] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) laughs
[16:19] ΩღLina RodexღΩ (shannon.warden): come on in
[16:19] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) looks up, "what have i missed?"
[16:20] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) passes Lady Justine her flask

I should have grabbed something, but I was in the numb aftermath of the second day of panic. People told me later I looked very composed.

[16:20] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) clicks the stream on, considers changing it, thinks today that might mean something explodes, and leaves it.
[16:21] Edward Pearse: Should we run the stream?
[16:21] Michael Macbeth (michaelneff.macbeth) waves to Grim
[16:21] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): Your Grace, Duke Argylle thank you for coming
[16:21] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem): Hello good sir.
[16:21] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem): Been a while.
[16:21] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) takes a heavy swig from violet's flask and hands it back. "THANK YOU."
[16:21] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ok.
[16:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, we can, though I didn't invite you to the group to do that
[16:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) waves at Edward
[16:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I can, though!

I truly felt at this point that I was just clinging to the edge of something, expecting the something to explode, or dissolve, or...something unpleasant.

[16:21] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener) accepts the flask and winks to Lady J
[16:22] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): is violet flying?
[16:22] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener): Sadly, my typist is twitchy.
[16:22] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Not...to me?
[16:22] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener): So not officially.
[16:22] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Trust me, I resemble that remark.
[16:22] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): I tried one of those green drinks....quite refreshing.

Did someone put out absinthe? If not, we should lay in a supply for the next gala.

[16:22] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener): hee
[16:23] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And, considering the potential of all ages, we do have tea in the kitchen as well.

I sat and breathed for a bit as chat swirled around me.

[16:27] Fuzzball Ortega: Hello
[16:27] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Hello!
[16:27] ΩღLina RodexღΩ (shannon.warden): your good to go come on in they are inside
[16:27] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, good, you're both here now!
[16:27] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): yay!
[16:27] Edward Pearse: Hey Fuzz
[16:27] Hiro Shatner-Orr (hiro.shatner): welcome!

Thank all the gods, they'd both made it. I relaxed fractionally.

[16:27] Panza Finch (panza.eilde) smiles as Fuzz arrives.
[16:28] Bain Finch (bainfinch): greetings
[16:28] Panza Finch (panza.eilde): Hullo Fuzz.
[16:28] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Also, brace yourself, Fuzz, i found a TRULY terrifying picture from The Olde Days of Steelhead. It's in the slideshow.
[16:28] Saazerac (saazerac.atheria) smiles and absorbs the scene "Hello all"
[16:28] Violet Scrivener (violetscrivener): Hello!
[16:28] Lightweaver Balan: better if the scene absorbs you
[16:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): No, no, did that yesterday, the entire sim absorbed me, thank you, but enough of that.

The bad crash. The bad, bad crash.

[16:30] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) looks up at the song.

It was "Little Red Corvette", and I guess I'd become fixated enough on making things as non-adult as possible, I was now twitching at the music.

[16:30] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Right, maybe enough streaming for now.
[16:30] ღ Vivian Song ღ (vivianasong): Awww, love this song!
[16:30] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): please find a seat, we'll be getting started momentarily!
[16:30] ღ Vivian Song ღ (vivianasong): wow, RIP Prince, you little eccentric oddball. WE love you!
[16:31] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem): You know I don't sit, Justine.
[16:31] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, I do too, but--we were sort of making the swerve away from adult matters for today?
[16:31] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) amends her previous statement. "everyone but Grim."
[16:31] Gʀɨʍօɨʀɛ (grimoire.hexem): yes, good.
[16:32] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) nods at Wordsmith, whispering, "i think we're ready."

(Credit to our attaché, Countess JustineJohndory Amethyst, for this shot.)

And we began.

(Continued in part II.)

it spirals as I ache to find holy embrace

the gate is closed, I'm left outside...

I am suddenly finding myself in the position of having a readership--don't look at me that way, I know I have a readership, I will just always continue to think of it as a small readership for my own peace of mind--that knows me. In some cases, very well. And for the first time in...ever...here, I'm thinking of editing what I send out.

Don't misunderstand me. The blog will not change. It is simultaneously confessional and chatroom, and courtroom and playground, and haunted house, high theatre and fashion runway, why would I abandon what hasn't worked so far? Get real. This is me, after all.

But I come to the well sometimes to drink from the waters, and sometimes to speak truth into them, and sometimes to look at my reflection and see if it's changed...and sometimes to cry out against the injustice of all things. And...that readership, you see. If I'm not very careful in how I phrase things, I'm going to sound as if I put too much emphasis on something that was, essentially...very minor.

So this one may be more oblique than usual.

Yesterday, something new had been added to Gearhaven. I'd gotten up very early the night before, head full of static, unable to sleep, so I'd logged in and started creating things that would make the empty land feel...0.00005% less empty. I'd rezzed out some benches to fill the corners of the garden, until I figured out what and how I wanted to do things there, and had been in the process of decorating a simple gazebo to take up the rest of the space, when the energy gave out and I stumbled back to bed.


(What had been done so far.)

A few hours later, I got up again, logged back in, and started creating something else from an idea I'd woken up with. It may not last. It feels very much like just a sketch in mesh and prims currently. But it gives me an idea of what the idea was, if that makes sense, and I may or may not be able to do better in time.

And I had noticed the thing that had been added, and the glowing ring (seen in the image above) removed. Which, I suddenly realized, was much larger than the space I'd intended to drop it in. So...suddenly, we needed more space around the Ocean Club. Which meant I had to drop the land to the very bottom of the ocean floor, hollow out more space, and make sure everything was clear around the club itself before I could fill anything in anywhere.

But I did that. It's now seated on the ocean floor, roughly in the center of the bay of Gearhaven, as far as I can tell, fully functional. And I went to drop a port circle to make it another destination, and...got a message I had never seen before. To quote a bit of chat from elsewhere:

[11:41 AM] Emilly: Oh, I just saw a weird new dropdown: "Unable to create item that has caused problems on this region"
[11:41 AM] Emilly: Wha?
[12:02 PM] jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: yeah.
[12:02 PM] jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: my guitar.
[12:02 PM] jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: in the music room.
[12:06 PM] Emilly: blinks
[12:06 PM] Emilly: I....what?
[12:07 PM] Emilly: How...if it was your guitar, how come I couldn't drop anything?

Still a good question, but turns out what she meant was, she'd noticed the same issue with her guitar. Oh. So I'd been in the process of relogging, and when I logged back in...bigger issue.

[12:07 PM] Emilly: And how come everything fell off....
[12:12 PM] jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: i don't think the guitar was the problem.
[12:12 PM] jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: i think it was a symptom of the greater problem the region was having.
[12:16 PM] Emilly: Right.

But on the grid, I was panicking, completely. Because when I say everything fell off? It wasn't just outfit, hair, heels, eyes, and body...it was all my attachments. And, okay, fine, I've had the back necklace get detached before, I've had the anklet detach--neither of those are locked on, but I consider them on permanently, so I like to make sure they're there. That wasn't what shocked.

My collar vanished. Which was locked around my neck. And, considering the recent unnevenness with the dominant? This was...I couldn't get my mind around it.

I relogged twice, both times back to Gearhaven, and still nothing, and nothing would even attach from my inventory, and finally, I ported to another property we own, and slowly...slowly...watched things attach. But not everything.

I was helpfully reminded, and thank you, dear, you know who you are, that I had saved outfits that did include the collar, so I switched to one of those, and...it came back. I was already late for the Aruba ballroom, because I'd intended to break at noon to go; I nearly had an arm cramp from terraforming; and I was shellshocked, so I just set everything aside for the first hour and went and danced. After that, I sent three IMs (that, it turned out later, I had to grab from history, because none of them went through anyway) to said dominant, informing him that I had not in fact, run off and left his collar behind, and then, after the dance...went back to Gearhaven.

Or tried to. Because it was in the process of folding in on itself.

Over the next two hours, we went from a sim that had issues, to a sim that was visibly tottering, to a sim that finally dragged me down into oblivion with it, to the extent that I had to delete my copy of Firestorm and reinstall a fresh one before I could relog into SL. And I couldn't relog into Gearhaven...I'd never seen anything like it.

I hadn't completely managed to ditch the stress of the collar disappearance, and now this. One day before the gala. What were we going to do?

And while that was happening, I realized that half the maps I'd rezzed out in the foyer of Steam were no-copy. Which meant they were now locked in the void along with Gearhaven.


(As in...this picture is taken in the Dark Sea. Gearhaven should be clearly visible behind me.)

And I tried to put it all out of my mind. I did. I logged off, I went to take a nap, I made some tea, I had dinner...I thought I'd calmed down. Until I logged in and Gearhaven wasn't back.


(It's just...creepy. That tiny little sandbar? That's the other half of Darktow, the half that's in the Dark Sea. The rest of it is missing...along with everything on it from that side...along with the rest of Gearhaven.)

Crisis. So. Deal with necessities first. Went to Oceanpoint and grabbed a landmark to send to our DJ, in case the gala ended up being there. Dug out all the maps I had, found ones that were close to the ones I'd set out originally, and put them up on the walls. Moved everything that had been in the foyer into the music room. Put the art that had been in the foyer in the kitchen. Worked with our attaché to rez out and set down forty more overbright chairs for seating. Tried to figure out what else could be done before I had to log off at eleven.

Then, at ten...it happened. Something that on any other day would have earned an amused smile and a wish for joy and wandering off with a light step. (This is the thing I'm not going to go into, more than that.) And I know that, is the thing, I am absolutely sure on that. I know--rationally, logically, mentally--that it was a culmination of an extreme day of stress, and I was far more emotionally fragile than I realized, in that moment.

But..I was far more emotionally fragile than I realized, in that moment. And it just...cut me in half, how it went down, and I had to figure out how to reassemble enough even to walk away, at first, and then once I had...I couldn't go to Gearhaven, it wasn't there; I didn't want to go to the Dark Sea and sit on the cold stones; I desperately did not want to be alone, but...there it was.

I found myself just staring into the flames of the firepit by the cabin in Playa, telling myself I should just log off, just call it a day and leave, but...I couldn't...move. Because I had been thinking of asking for an extension to midnight, for...potential things, and...well. No need for that, now, was there?

And the dominant asked what happened. And I told him. And he ported back home, and held me, and I cried on his shoulder, and could breathe again. And while I will never, ever, welcome emotional pain, whether it turns out to be good for me or not, this at least was useful, because...in that moment, I needed support. I needed to be held. And he gave me both of those. The strong, steady presence of him that had made me agree to his collar in the first place...and which had started to feel profoundly missing this last year.

So...I'm going to go to sleep now. I may or may not sleep the night through, but I am going to try. I'm going to get up tomorrow, and likely strap on armor I haven't needed these past few months, but...I suspect I will definitely need it tomorrow. And I will take that step back from certain entanglements so I can figure out why this hit so hard, if there's anything I'm not seeing. Which may cause a bit of minor strife, but...for once in my life, I'm claiming self-preservation first, before I worry about everyone else.

And...ultimately, this is just one night. This is one thing that slid off the rails into shadow when the rest of the train travels in golden light, knowing I support and am supported, knowing I love and am loved. One thing. And this will pass. And I'm not broken. Probably bruised a bit; possibly even slightly dented.

But I'll heal.

Which, you know, considering some of my history...that alone is a miracle.

But I do need to think about this. And that may take longer than one night. I'm too close to everything, right now, to see exactly what went wrong, so I need a bit of time to gain that clarity. And then I can move on.

All things considered...I've been hurt less and suffered more, prior to this, so...maybe this is a sign of growth? Maybe. We'll see how it plays out from here, at any rate.

the beginnings of Gearhaven Prime

This is how it began. A flat, grass-textured square of land.



This is how it always begins. No sim comes pre-made, after all.



We start from the basics, and we make what we need, as with many other things in life. Of course, it won't be easy...but good things seldom come easily.



Unfortunately, the Lindens are having a bit of problem with the map coding at present. Getting a read on exactly where we are is proving difficult.



Near as we can make out, between the two maps we were able to pull...Gearhaven is exactly where it had been, the last time on the grid, which now, sits about four or five sims away from Babbage, and...about two sims away from Mondrago.

Which will only be a problem if they declare war. Again.

I'm perfectly happy with the detente that currently exists, so...maybe cooler heads will prevail. In the meantime, we're where we want to be, and rebuilding. Until we're finished, the former Gearhaven will stay up, but it will vanish into the mists when we're up and running here.

oh, you'll miss me when I'm gone (part II)

(Roleplay entry. Continued from part I.)

"Al, confirm status of communications array."

"Comm Array Status is green with optimal broadcast conditions."

He sat at the desk, frustrated.

"Al, open diagnostics dashboard." A semi-transparent hologram dashboard of colored charts and graphs appeared in front of the oak desk top. The writing quill ink and journal could be seen on the desk.

Everything appeared functional. He opened the navigational charts dashboard. He felt a weight in his gut as he saw what he feared. Nothing. A map of stars but no known configurations. No supporting charts.

"Al--how many centuries of star mapping records and force casts do you have?"

"It is theoretically unlimited, assuming I can fix where and when we are."

"Al--appropriate spatial and temporal location based on current star charts?"

"Spatial: Andromeda Delta Quadrant sector 2. Temporal: 1000 BCE. Probability: 98.5%."

He sat, stunned. Oh, hell. Far, far away, and...a long time ago.

Some time passed while he coordinated with the limited information available, and the powers of the onboard intelligence, and he finally tracked down four potential start points for where he was. Somewhere in the early worlds of the Gate; somewhere in distant Earth Prime prehistory, around the rise of Atlach-Nacha, or possibly even farther away, near the world of the K'n-yan; somewhere around the Idiran Second Great Exile; or...Oz.

"Your Grace, in this temporal range the following events have probability ranges."

He nodded. "Go ahead."

"Quox the Dragon is born, son of the Original Dragon in Oz. Idirans retake Idir in the second Idiran-Culture War. Earth Prime, in 1006 BCE David becomes king of the ancient United Kingdom of Israel. Earth Prime, earliest evidence of farming in the Kenya highlands. Also on Earth Prime, circa 1000 BCE: the Iron Age starts, the United Kingdom of Israel reaches its largest size; it is Israel's golden age. Earth Prime, circa 1000 BCE, the Nok culture rises in Nigeria, also circa 1000 BCE, Latins come to Italy from the Danube region. Earth Prime, circa 1000 BCE, archaeological evidence obtained from inscriptions excavated in 2005 dates the Proto-Dravidian language, a classical language spoken in India. Earth Prime, circa 1000 BCE, Assyrians start to conquer neighbouring regions. Circa 1000 BCE, Earth Prime world population: 50,000,000."

He breathed. "Go on."

"Earth Prime, circa 1000 BCE, Priene in Western Anatolia is founded; Hungarian separates from its closest linguistic relatives, the Ob-Ugric languages; ancient Iranian peoples enter Persia. Circa 1000 BCE, Nyarlathotep rules Egypt until deposed by a feral cat from outside the palaces. Circa 1000 BCE, Villanovans occupy northern and western Italy. Earth Prime, circa 1000 BCE, the Phoenician alphabet is invented; rice is cultivated in Ancient Japan; the early Horizon period starts in the Andes, as well as the Chavin culture establishing, as well as the Paracas culture."

"A lot happening in the Andes," the Duke said dryly.

"Yes. Also, circa 1000 BCE, the historical beginning of the peoples we later know as Illyrians, rough carbon-14 dating of the Cherchen Man, and circa 1085 BCE, Solomon is given the Seal and Keys to control Jinn and Angels."

"Al--scan for thaumaturgic, chthonic, and Magickal signatures."

"Significant Etheric resonance. High range of Higgs-Boson decay and distortion."

Hiro looked at the dashboard, checking the data. That had to be it. The key of Solomon, Nyarlathotep..."Al, can we fold space?"

"In theory, yes, but..."



An hour later, Hiro stood in the lab space of the Gray Area. He opened the ritual with the LBRP. The pentagram on the casing of the large witch bomb in Stormhold reacts, spinning slowly...

An hour past that, the Duchess was carting a firepit into place, with some strongly-rooted seats surrounding it, because the last tree had apparently decided to walk away...and she heard a low hum.



She looked up, and saw the sigils on the witch bomb begin to spin...

(To be continued in part III.)

stay here with me, I'm afraid of my soul (part I)

(Roleplay entry. Of course.)

He was disoriented when he awakened. What City, what time is it. He had missed this feeling during the maroon.

In bed, he waited. To gather his wits. The light in the room soft and slowing increasing. "Good morning. Today you have seven meetings. Would you like to hear--"

"Al, stop."

A soft dull tone signaled compliance.

The ship should be somewhere many light years from Tannhäuser Gate in the same time stream. His body kept pulling him back to sleep. He sat up. Outside it was quiet.

"Al, how...where are we?"

A soft tone, but no response.

"Al...when are we?"

"I am sorry, you are having trouble. Try again later." Another dull, soft tone.

He sat up. "AI--access comms."

"Comms online."

"Broadcast all channels--'This is Gearhaven Actual, request confirmation'."

More soft tones ring through the still air. "Confirmed, broadcast sent."

He waited for confirmation. GH had monitoring drones across the Steamland, and other realities where they had holdings. He and Em had deployed relays in most known timelines. He was certain to be detected. He sat, then rose and walked across the room. On his desk was a photo of Justine, Em and himself at the Stormhold Library event.

"Al--comms report?"

"There are no responses to your broadcast."

(To be continued in part II.)

show me a garden that's bursting into life (part II)

We continue in media res from the impromptu dinner party, from part one.

[18:30] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): Release the Kraken
[18:30] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, you don't want her to do that :D
[18:30] Circle2 Claven just notices the tentacles
[18:31] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): *mywineglasscanhaveorangejuiceiamnotcomfortablewithhthis*

Apparently I'd missed when Justine laid out the drink options available.

[18:31] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): My eggs benedict I cooked this morning looked way better than this
[18:31] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Better

I'd selected their red wine. Much better than orange juice.

[18:32] Tevor Zenovka: I'm sticking to the wine.
[18:32] Circle2 Claven: hi Ash
[18:33] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) bows respectfully
[18:33] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): 'lo, Ash!
[18:33] Circle2 Claven: nice to see you again
[18:33] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): yay! ash jiejie!
[18:33] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): hello Orange cloud
[18:33] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): Greetings Duchess Emily, Greetings Circle and Tevor and Cece and Justine!
[18:33] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) breathes!
[18:33] Tevor Zenovka: Hi Ash. Took a moment to realize who you were
[18:33] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): So....fourteen seat table?
[18:33] Tevor Zenovka: :)
[18:34] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): Hey look a Genie appeared from the orange smoke
[18:34] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ha!
[18:34] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) grins "How is everyone this evening?"
[18:34] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): So far, doing well!
[18:35] Tevor Zenovka: Not been attacked by the kraken yet, so all is good
[18:35] Circle2 Claven: going well here too
[18:35] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): well, aside from the fact that every dish comes with kraken, apparently.

Not every dish. But a weirdly surprising number of them, yes.

[18:35] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): Amazing!
[18:35] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): now ...
[18:35] Circle2 Claven loves sushi
[18:36] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) nods approvingly
[18:36] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): every dish?
[18:36] Tevor Zenovka: wait until you taste the kraken beignet
[18:36] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) drools
[18:37] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): Who cooked tonight?
[18:37] Tevor Zenovka: we're still trying to find the cook to complain about the excess kraken
[18:37] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): uhoh are we eating the cook?
[18:38] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Goodness, I hope not

Because if that's why she disappeared...we need to find out why.

[18:38] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) inspects the dinner plate
[18:38] Tevor Zenovka: a touch of Titus Andronicus for diner
[18:38] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) chuckles
[18:38] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): try clicking on the silverware.
[18:39] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Or Medea
[18:39] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): WAITNO
[18:39] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): NO ONE EAT THE BABIES

Seriously! They're too cute to eat! JUST LOOK AT THE LITTLE PILLOWS.

[18:39] Tevor Zenovka: Just drink. You;ll never notice the kraken in the wine
[18:39] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): Kraken bits!
[18:39] Circle2 Claven: mmmmmmm
[18:40] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I won't lie, it seems to be a kraken-heavy feast
[18:40] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): Greetings Alice!
[18:40] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Hello Alice!
[18:40] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): How is Tonya?
[18:41] Beta 1465: work last i spoke to here tdau was stressfull but shes well
[18:41] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): alice!
[18:41] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): welcome!
[18:41] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): please join us. have a drink. careful around the wine kraken.
[18:41] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Good.
[18:41] Tevor Zenovka: Hi Alice
[18:41] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) leans over to press soft lips to Alice's cheek
[18:41] Alice Illios (alicethekitty): things are loading
[18:42] Tevor Zenovka: this is a hell of a whack of scotch you gave me, J.

Apparently the standard measure of Scotch at this table? Came in a tumbler glass bigger than Tevor's hand.

[18:42] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Omnomnomnom coffee

I, on the other hand, was smart and requested coffee. S-M-R-T, smart, dass me.

[18:42] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): thannnnk you Justine
[18:43] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) stabs her fork in the kraken bits before offering it up to Alice for a taste "It's delicious"
[18:43] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) dismisses the wine kraken.
[18:43] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Hiro's also saying if this doesn't quite work? We can hold it in the Oceanpoint version

Because moving everything over has been a pain, and some things can only be moved by Hiro, and Hiro's been gone...

[18:44] Tevor Zenovka: It is best to stab it forst. It's a bit feisty
[18:44] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): chicken and waffles!

Yes. There is a menu option for chicken and waffles. No, I do not know why.

[18:44] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): nom!
[18:44] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): nom nomnom.
[18:44] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I will say for all the oddity--they at least have a recognizable English breakfast.
[18:44] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And they have fried green tomatoes.

Near as I can figure, whomever made this table was an expatriate Londoner currently living in N'Awlins?

[18:45] Dirty Secrets ~ Spanker: Cecelia Hadrian spanks Cecelia Hadrian.
[18:46] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) whispers: Cecelia share whatever you are drinking

No doubt.

[18:46] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Well now
[18:47] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I was just holding to the SL traditional of pouring coffee into my third eye, but I can switch to whatever that is
[18:47] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): Justine slipped me a Mickey
[18:47] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): She's tricksy like that
[18:47] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) gasps "where is mine?"
[18:49] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): did i not send you the scotch?

It's in the Scotch?

[18:49] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i'm so sorry.
[18:49] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) chuckles
[18:49] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): You sent it to me!
[18:49] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) raises the glass
[18:49] Circle2 Claven sips his Earl Gray hot
[18:49] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Of course, now I'm tempted to wander through the Lovecraft drinks :D

Which are not in the table. They actually come from Kitty's Creations, who's been making drinks on the grid for thousands of years now.

[18:50] Tevor Zenovka: Yes, we need absinthe now
[18:50] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) bows her head gratefully "Thank you Justine, will this scotch make me spank myself as well?"
[18:50] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i can share those as well.
[18:50] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ummmm. do you need a drink to make you spank yourself?
[18:50] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) whispers: Yes....
[18:50] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) runs down the list. "Justine, did we try the Nyarlathotep Martini the last time we were at Lotus House?"
[18:50] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): she would rather spank you I am sure
[18:51] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Maybe I should stick to absinthe.
[18:51] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): umm, emilly, i'm not sure.
[18:51] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) swirls her drink before taking a slow sip
[18:51] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): and ... if ash needs to give someone a spanking, i'm putting my hand up now.
[18:51] Absinthe Suissesse: Sweet Mary's Deight, Emilly Shatner-Orr! This is AMAZING!
[18:51] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, one of the talkative ones

To be fair, a lot of Kitty's drinks talk.

[18:52] Tevor Zenovka: I start to worry when my drink talks to me
[18:52] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Considering some of these? Yes.
[18:52] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) starts cracking her fingers "Justine tell me more about your Theater pretty please. Have you opened already?"
[18:53] Tevor Zenovka: a theater?
[18:53] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) grins
[18:53] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) perks.
[18:54] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) whispers: details please
[18:54] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): the theatre!
[18:54] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): well, right now, it's still at the old sim.
[18:54] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): Yes!
[18:54] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) whispers: but, once we put in carcossa, right emilly?
[18:54] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, the Mystic!

Remember the Mystic?

[18:54] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Yiss
[18:54] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) whispers: the castle and the mystic, right?
[18:54] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) grins.
[18:54] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): The Mystic will be there
[18:55] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i can take you to see it at the old sim if you like!
[18:55] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): it's soooooooo pretty.
[18:55] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): I would love that very much
[18:55] Circle2 Claven: Yes, very much
[18:55] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): cool! ok, well?
[18:56] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): Have you started showcasing plays?
[18:56] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): field trip?
[18:56] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): no. we have NOT started, ash, which is why i wanted to talk to YOU.

And, if the new sim behaves, this is not beyond the pale--we will have an entire huge theatre in the desert, so....we actually could have theatre groups run plays, if they like the layout. It's not beyond the realm of possibility.

[18:56] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): :)
[18:56] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) chuckles
[18:56] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): tev, are you double fisting your drinks?
[18:56] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh-ho, Justine has plans TOO
[18:56] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): I can only advise on debauchery Justine
[18:56] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i'm pretty sure you've got wine AND scotch.
[18:57] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i have dreams. i wouldn't call them actual plans yet.
[18:57] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): First play "The Ash's of Chaos" staring the Ash's ?
[18:57] Tevor Zenovka: no no, just keeping this one full
[18:57] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): hee!
[18:57] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs) chuckles
[18:57] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ah!
[18:57] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) looks beyond the screen.
[18:57] Tevor Zenovka: You planning on demanding a 36 hour day, J?
[18:57] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And, there is the call of disconnection.
[18:57] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): the caledon anniversary dance is starting shortly.
[18:57] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I knooooow, don't remind me!

Because it was happening during dinner. Everything fun in SL happens during dinner.

[18:57] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): anybody feel like dancing?
[18:58] Circle2 Claven: sure
[18:58] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): go visit the mystic then get dressed and go to a ball?
[18:58] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): At any rate, do enjoy, table seems to work, ta for now!
[18:58] ڰۣۜღ αsɦ ڰۣۜღ (genieluvs): I would love to but I am expected to work a shift tonight
[18:58] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): Caledon is a bit G-Rated
[18:58] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): By choice, usually :D
[18:58] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): But there are dark areas here and there.
[18:58] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) grins
[18:58] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): see you later, duchess!

And that was the Kraken dinner party.

show me a garden that's bursting into life (part I)

Sometimes you plan a formal dinner. Sometimes you realize kraken have invaded the menu.

[17:52] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): the urge to have the gala here is very strong.
[17:52] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): if we could get the island looking nice by march 8th
[17:52] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): oh, i think we should go with march 8th.
[17:53] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Instead of the 7th?

I'd been up on this little balcony above the formal dining room, trying to invent a house banner from the mostly non-workable banner prototypes I had in the full-perm folder.

[18:01] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): emilly emilly emilly!!!!
[18:01] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): come sit!
[18:01] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): come sit!
[18:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) grins
[18:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Banners are being silly anyway

So, I picked a chair mostly at random, and sat. And...

[18:03] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Huh. Says drink, gives no drink.
[18:04] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ah yeah. need to figure out the "giver"
[18:04] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) grins
[18:04] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): But hey!
[18:04] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): but ... look at the chair a the end of the table!
[18:04] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I have discovered how to write on the tablecloth!
[18:04] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) looks
[18:04] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Kraken under the table?

I don't have a picture of this, but trust me. Long formal dining table, elegantly set, huuuuuuuge tentacle coming from underneath the tablecloth.

[18:04] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): yes, kraken attack!
[18:05] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): now, at the other end of the table ...
[18:05] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): there we go.
[18:05] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) grins

She tapped the table, and another tentacle emerged, and coiled around the chair at the head of the table.

[18:05] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ha!
[18:05] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh EEP
[18:05] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Okay, that's hysterical
[18:05] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): THAT is really why i wanted this set.
[18:06] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ok, lemme see if i can give you a drink....
[18:06] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) frees you from the kraken.

Yay!

[18:07] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): People. People. That is not a drink.

As I recall, it was something that sounded like a frothy confection of a drink, and it turned out to be fruit and sorbet on a plate.

[18:07] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): GAH
[18:07] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Also not a drink
[18:07] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): what?

Another menu item, another hope dashed.

[18:07] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): did i not just hand you a wine glass? what was it?
[18:07] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): You di----
[18:07] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): .........
[18:08] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Very active, uh....soup

The menu for Entrees featured a soup, and I wanted to see what it was. I touched the plate to request it, and the bowl arrived, and the soup...waved at me with its little tentacles.

[18:08] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): incoming friends. :)
[18:08] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): what?
[18:08] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) pokes at the tentacles
[18:08] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): oh dear! tentacle soup!
[18:08] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): hi, Cece!
[18:08] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): join us!
[18:08] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): "Kraken Bisque", apparently
[18:08] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): lol!
[18:09] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): If it starts talking it gets thrown across the room
[18:09] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): oh come now, you can't tell me you're squeamish around tentacles. i know better!
[18:09] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) laughs
[18:09] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Well, I'm not generally eati--
[18:09] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Hmm.
[18:09] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Mrf.
[18:10] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): cece, do you know the duchess emilly shatner-orr?
[18:10] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Hello there!
[18:10] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh, gad, more kraken on the main course

Why are there so many cephalopod-heavy dishes in this menu? That's what I want to know.

[18:10] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Were we mad at the kraken? Is that why it's in soup now?
[18:10] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) peers at her plate
[18:10] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): where did you get the meal menu?
[18:10] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Yup, those are kraken bits

To be fair, that menu option was titled "Kraken Bits".

[18:11] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Click on the silverware
[18:11] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ah ta.
[18:11] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): Well yes and no, I have seen her at event but she has been very occupied, but I think you introduced us at Saaz's coming out party
[18:11] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ah. well, join us please!
[18:11] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): we're just testing out this dinner set.
[18:11] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I do that. Also highly distractable. And occasionally oblivious.
[18:12] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): this is one massive table

It's a massive dining room.

[18:12] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i think the chairs need to be just a smidge higher.
[18:12] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Ooh, it has lamb
[18:12] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And yes
[18:12] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): well, this is a massive house.

It really is. Steamopolis, the ancestral home of the AiNeko line, is based on Ulysses Cabaret's Steampolis steampunk mansion. (By which, I mean, Hiro called it Steamopolis, and so I do, and until this moment I didn't actually know it was 'Steampolis'. But hey. Our house now. We can rename it.)

[18:12] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Truth
[18:12] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) calls in reinforcements.
[18:12] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) claps at the English Breakfast offering

Let's be honest, here. I am not English. A true English person would probably be appalled. But to me, just seeing the presence of black pudding on a plate makes me happy.

[18:13] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): let's put this table through its paces. [18:13] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): It has black pudding Yay!
[18:13] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Wait. What on earth is....huh.
[18:13] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Okay.
[18:13] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I guess.
[18:14] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): what is it?
[18:14] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Apparently "Rezday Cake" is a giant cupcake with pink frosting and a candle
[18:14] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) peers.

And that really was it. It didn't explode. It was just a really huge cupcake on a plate.

[18:14] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): there's a rezday cake in the menu?
[18:14] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): that is awesome!
[18:14] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Under desserts.
[18:14] Tevor Zenovka: Hello, hello
[18:14] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): hi, tevor!
[18:14] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): welcome!
[18:14] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): please, join us.
[18:14] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): "Tea Plate". Erk.
[18:15] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): tevor, do you know the duchess emilly?
[18:15] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): Justine Haggis for you lol
[18:15] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): All right, tea pastries is better.

I don't know why, but I was truly expecting actual tea on the tea plate? Silly, I suppose.

[18:15] Tevor Zenovka: waiting for the orange clouds to disperse.
[18:15] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): We've met!
[18:15] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): and this is my guild sister cecelia.
[18:15] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): cece, tevor and saaz are besties.
[18:15] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): WHY DOES THE GEEK PIZZA TURN.....Oh.
[18:15] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): but he still hangs out with me sometimes.
[18:15] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): It has gears.
[18:15] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oooookay.
[18:15] Tevor Zenovka: pppffft
[18:16] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): oh neat!

No! Not neat!

[18:16] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): thought he looked familiar
[18:16] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I do not want to eat gears!

I don't! They get in your teeth, and then your teeth make the crunching sounds, and then you wonder why your mouth is filled with blood. Just no. Rather avoid that, thanks.

[18:16] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): lol.
[18:16] Tevor Zenovka: as if you have more than a moment a week with your jam packed schedule
[18:16] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i don't know what you're talking about.
[18:16] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Also, under "Lunch/Tea" options? Avoid the Redneck Calamari.

It's terrifying.

[18:17] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): now you got me curious
[18:17] Tevor Zenovka: Dignified. Yes, that's the pose for me

The chairs at this table occasionally misbehave.

[18:18] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): That's a holiday feast? Which holiday?

It just looked like...random meats, a green veg, mash, and a squiggle of something that could either be cranberry sauce or brown gravy. No clue.

[18:18] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) snerks.
[18:18] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): laughs hotdogs cut to look like squid lol
[18:18] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): It's...depressing
[18:19] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): snickers
[18:19] Tevor Zenovka: I am unclear on how to see the menu
[18:19] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Silverware
[18:19] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) peers in the soup bowl
[18:19] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I hate to tell the caterers, but...that is not turtle.

I know. I have eaten turtle soup before. Of course, it was back before I realized that in many places, the turtles used to make the soup are endangered, but...nevertheless. The chunk of undefined meat in the soup bowl did not look like turtle. If anything, it looked like boiled pork belly.

[18:19] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): i'll have a word.
[18:20] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) selects Spring Salad
[18:20] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Please don't have springs, please don't have springs--

It did not have springs. Yay.

[18:20] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Okay, we're good
[18:20] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): that sounds pretty safe
[18:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Ooh. They got all fancy with the beet salad.
[18:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Regular AND heirloom beets.
[18:21] Tevor Zenovka: I think I'll stay with the wine and catch up
[18:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) laughs
[18:21] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I'm just checking out menu options, because....this was what I selected after blindly assuming Lunch/Tea options meant getting tea
[18:22] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And, well...
[18:22] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) points at the twitching

I'd summoned out the Kraken Bisque again.

[18:22] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ha!
[18:22] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): oh, sorry.
[18:22] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): in english, "tea" is a meal. not a beverage.
[18:22] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Ah
[18:22] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): This explains much
[18:22] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): in new zealand, "tea" can be morning or afternoon tea.
[18:23] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): or, it is often used as a synonym for dinner.
[18:23] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) nods
[18:23] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): I live amongst the uncivilized :D
[18:23] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): in the US Tea is well umm Tea

What she said.

[18:23] Tevor Zenovka: the pastry is a bit flat
[18:23] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) snerks

Ha, ha. (For those who may not get the joke without visuals, most--though certainly not all--of the offerings in this table are essentially flat picture prims that rez out on the plate.)

[18:23] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): yeah. well, here in hobbit-land, we eat 7 meals a day.
[18:23] Cecelia Hadrian (haadrian): lol
[18:24] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): welcome, circle!
[18:24] Tevor Zenovka: Hi Circle
[18:24] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): please, join us.
[18:24] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Hello!
[18:24] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): circle, everyone, everyone, circle.
[18:24] Circle2 Claven: Hi Justine, everyone
[18:25] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Just FYI, Justine, dinner "starts" at six, so of course, I think people are still sleeping :D
[18:25] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): But I may be poked off the keys at any time
[18:25] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ah, yeah. ok.
[18:25] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) grins
[18:25] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) declares this an accidental dinner party and starts tossing out invitations willy nilly.
[18:25] Tevor Zenovka gingerly tastes the kraken
[18:25] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Ah, for the lost days of yore, when dinner happened at five....
[18:26] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr) tsks at the beignets. Not proper beignets, either.
[18:26] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): All right, how wrong can you get cheese?
[18:26] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Oh!
[18:26] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Just cheese.
[18:26] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): Yay!

It is truly a sad day when a plate of sliced cheese makes you happy...because it doesn't contain gears, tentacles or hot dogs.

[18:27] Tevor Zenovka: may be best to just go right to dessert
[18:27] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): ok, so if you click on your wine glass you can change the contents.
[18:27] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): red wine, white, ice water, orange juice.
[18:28] Circle2 Claven: I guess I should change my own glass
[18:28] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): well, the help has the day off today, so yes.
[18:28] Tevor Zenovka: beignet soup?
[18:28] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): AH, that's why you're training the kraken
[18:29] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst) calls for the wine kraken.

Not entirely sure this will work long-term.

[18:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): We need to lay out a place in Carcosa for the castle
[18:29] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): he only serves red, though.
[18:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And then put the castle out
[18:29] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): yes.
[18:29] Emilly Shatner-Orr (emilly.orr): And then bring the kraken over here
[18:29] Justine (justinejohndory.amethyst): this table is no copy, sadly. so it's either one or t'other.

And we'll pick up the rest in the second part.

kills me to kill you when I tell you that I felt it once, I can't feel it twice

My mind turns to the past, personal excavation, private excoriation made public, taking inward pain and turning it into outward expression and learning from it once it's part of the world. At least I'm on brand.

And I found myself rereading earlier missives from--and to--the fellow for which I've been posting my lettered outreachings. The penny had dropped halfway coding them up to publish, but I think it finally finished dropping tonight: I'm posting these letters from the far long-ago because I'm dealing with a situation that is in no way similar now...and is by the same extension, very, very similar indeed.



Sometimes the penny drops slowly, sometimes it drops out of sight too fast to see. Sometimes it simply melts from the incandescence of inner rage, or shatters into chips of ice from the inner chill.

Why am I worried? Because I am. Because I do. Because I see the possibility of someone else slipping away...not in the same way, no, not exactly, but...there is definitely more distance, and once more, I can't pinpoint the exact reason...except, with the virtue of hindsight, in this case, even, preserved written hindsight...I know the reason.

Or at least, I know the reason it happened then. And I can't go through this again.



And I know now what's been staying my hand--to have this talk with him? Means to bring up all these old insecurities and doubts, most of which I've brought up before, which has resulted in feck-all happening, always, and...stasis, I suddenly realize, while excruciating in every way, is, to my way of thinking, far easier to cope with than the stunning totality of loss.



But. Here's the thing. Here's the point I'm missing, and perhaps I'm missing it because it's been pointed directly at the center of my eye all this time: I cannot, I will not, know it's a loss until I talk about the possibility. It's not gone until I'm told it's gone. It's not gone until I give up.



Which sort of makes it Schrödinger's relationship, in a sense--is it alive at present? Is it dead? I won't know as long as I'm afraid to inhale and move forward, in some direction, even if it's away.



I don't want away. I don't want another loss. I deeply don't want to lose another collar. But as things stand, currently? I don't know what I do have, and I won't know until I ask. And since the last one was nearly entirely my fault for a variety of unhelpful reasons...is this one also?



Don't mistake my words on this. What I was asked to do was cause myself a great deal of temporary, brief pain to avoid longer-lasting, bone-deep agony. This is me, of course I didn't go for the quick excision of what hurt, I went for the festering unhealing, bandages over bandages, convincing myself they'd started out that red...nine years of it and counting, so far.

But that is the past. That is what was, Now, we deal with what is. So tomorrow, the great fear. Tomorrow, the end of stasis. Tomorrow...I ask.

"This is gonna hurt like hell..."

(Sims visited includes Aphrodite's Darkness, the Wandering Star, 3rd Eye Perceptions, Morbid's main store, Fugue in Briarhaven, and Be My Mannequin's main store.)