these folks here don’t come around, they’re so rigid and refined
"Memories of Salem", especially when followed up by the blurb given below, gives me a brain cramp, but I'm really running out of places to go. Cue beleaguered sigh.
That blurb goes thusly:
Welp, there's the hanging reference.
Effective little set piece, but what does this have to do with Salem?
And what does this have to do with Salem?
One room, four visible characters, I count two blatant game rips (as the three Alices are all the same character from the same game). Please for the love of all gods, can we move on from game rips? It's so boring.
And out of nowhere, an animated gif from Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows. I mean, okay, I love the film, I've made no bones about how much I adore how, in the two hours of that sequel, the main witch character does absolutely everything wrong with a willful cluelessness that is adorable...but how does she fit into the asylum set? And how does any of this fit in with Salem?
This was the first time I realized that I'd actually been here before, when it was a radically different haunt. As I recall--and the reason I'm not going to link the earlier entry, but it's likely somewhen around 2015--I wasn't much impressed with the first version, and surprise, I'm not much impressed with this one. As an average, everyday, haunted-asylum-and-cemetery piece, it might work, but with the added weight of the "Memories of Salem" title, the entire thing tilts to one side then simply collapses into nothingness.
I only have one question, really: where's the mini golf? I didn't see anything like that. Was it somewhere else?
That blurb goes thusly:
"Welcome to our Abandoned Haunted Asylum Grounds! The witches have come to stay, and play! Halloween Mini Golf! Halloween, Haunted House, Haunted Asylum, Scary, Haunted, Ghost, Witch, Salem, Witches, Zombies. "Yep. Another asylum. Somehow tied in with witch-hanging. Great.
Welp, there's the hanging reference.
Effective little set piece, but what does this have to do with Salem?
And what does this have to do with Salem?
One room, four visible characters, I count two blatant game rips (as the three Alices are all the same character from the same game). Please for the love of all gods, can we move on from game rips? It's so boring.
And out of nowhere, an animated gif from Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows. I mean, okay, I love the film, I've made no bones about how much I adore how, in the two hours of that sequel, the main witch character does absolutely everything wrong with a willful cluelessness that is adorable...but how does she fit into the asylum set? And how does any of this fit in with Salem?
This was the first time I realized that I'd actually been here before, when it was a radically different haunt. As I recall--and the reason I'm not going to link the earlier entry, but it's likely somewhen around 2015--I wasn't much impressed with the first version, and surprise, I'm not much impressed with this one. As an average, everyday, haunted-asylum-and-cemetery piece, it might work, but with the added weight of the "Memories of Salem" title, the entire thing tilts to one side then simply collapses into nothingness.
I only have one question, really: where's the mini golf? I didn't see anything like that. Was it somewhere else?
Comments