"Awesome Haunted House, Haunted Hospital, Haunted Tour, Haunted Woods, and everything scary. This haunted mainland tour includes, zombies, monsters, ghouls, werewolves, witches, insane doctors, creepy crawlies, and some of your favorite characters from ho"Though I don't think I have any favorite characters from Ho.
Oh, good. Couple of game rips from F.E.A.R. to start things off. Wonderful.
But there is a ride, so let's go find that, at least.
There's not that much going on in the main house itself, beyond some jumpscare action like this chainsaw clown. Everything else is kind of startlingly minimal.
Cue aggrieved sigh.
I mean, listen, haunts can involve established properties. There's a haunt ride I've covered a couple times now, very old-school, that relies entirely on movie properties--Jason, Freddy, Evil Dead...but it works precisely because that's the point of the house--movie monsters and the fear they can inspire.
This? This is a full-bright tombstone of Jason Voorhees on a bridge. That's pointless in two directions.
Great, and just inside the barn past the bridge, the Boomer from Left 4 Dead. Another game rip. I'm so done here.
Honestly, it may be judgmental, but if you can't pull off a haunt without ripping off intellectual property, why should I bother properly reviewing your work?
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