moving like a hunter through my back door

This happened so long ago, I'd actually forgotten I still had it in drafts, but I'm still baffled by it.

[11:13] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: when I can meet most beautiful pixel girls in SL?
[11:14] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I mean where*

That's a rather stunning way to start a conversation. All he's after is beauty, personality doesn't matter? And what are his criteria for beauty? Standards do vary after all.

[11:14] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: o.0
[11:15] Gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: wonders if [Axxx] will start a [group] match.com

Oh, I do hope not. That might be terrifying.

[11:17] Gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: runs a talon down my hips.....I am currently available
[11:17] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: He is...
[11:17] Gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: at least until the restraining order from [Gxxxxx] expires
[11:36] Emilly Orr: My. Six years on the grid, and you haven't figured out how to find girls yet?
[11:36] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmmm really not
[11:36] Emilly Orr: Astonishing.

It really is. Oh, but wait, he's after the 'most beautiful', not just any average pixel girl...

[11:37] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: girls are really Claver and sly
[11:37] Zxx Cxxxxxxx: try dating a guy
[11:37] Zxx Cxxxxxxx: it's easier
[11:37] Zxx Cxxxxxxx: and you get to do cool guy stuff
[11:37] Emilly Orr: There is that.

You know, that doesn't work as well the other way. Women date other women and the bathroom's busy more of the time, and then everyone in the argument gets to say "YOU know what you did!" or "If you don't know, don't expect me to tell you!"

But also, that line about girls being 'Claver and sly'...it makes us sound like we're feral creatures, sharp of tooth and claw, skulking under the trees. Though perhaps, to this fellow, we are.

[11:37] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol Hahaha I love my ass lol ))))))
[11:37] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: hahahhaha
[11:38] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Its sometimes easier than you think.... *looks around cautiously for She Who Must Not Be Named*
[11:38] Emilly Orr: Well, see? You're set. You love asses, you're a guy, find another fellow, the magic will happen.

Isn't that the way it usually goes, I mean?

[11:38] Axxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Well [group] has nothing but clever beautiful WOMEN with intelligence and personalities, but if your looking for girls.. well gor's a good start ..I guess.
[11:39] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: noooo
[11:39] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yes here really beautiful women for sure

Thank you for the compliment...I guess...

[11:39] Emilly Orr: Ohhhh, you meant no rear entry. Pity, it can be fun.
[11:40] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but it is more hard to control woman I am young guy just 23
[11:40] Emilly Orr: Control....what, exactly, are we talking about here? You're seeking a date, you're seeking someone to collar and cage, what?
[11:41] Axxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: Yeahh sounds like you need to look for a "gorean girl"
[11:41] Emilly Orr: Oh, be fair, some Gorean women are VERY hard to control, by intent and practice. :D
[11:42] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmmmm not like anything like it ...control mean ..I talked with older woman but they always guided me like do this and don't
[11:42] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that I don't lioe

I believe he means 'like' here, but...are we sure he's twenty-three? It sounds like he's younger and protesting about Grandma wanting to make sure his face is clean, or something.

[11:42] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: You're 23 and .... *stares and just shakes his head*
[11:42] Axxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: there is a distinct difference between a girl and a woman.

Yes. There is.

[11:42] Emilly Orr: Very set in his ways already, yes. I'm beginning to perceive the difficulty.
[11:44] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmmm yes that's problem
[11:44] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: can I date with you ?

Really? From you want a beautiful pixel girl, to you want to date me?

[11:44] Axxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: -settles on the couch and pulls out a bag of popcorn and a large drink to watch what happens...next.
[11:45] Emilly Orr: My dear, I don't think you could afford me, elsewise...maybe. I admit, I'm intrigued that you think you have no chance on the grid.
[11:45] Zxx Cxxxxxxx: yea go look in groups
[11:45] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmmm affording you )))) here is no coffee shop lol
[11:46] Zxx Cxxxxxxx: there's bound to be one of ladies looking for men
[11:46] Zxx Cxxxxxxx: and if you wanna spoil someone hell, I'm here :p
[11:46] Axxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx: He is not looking for ladies - he is looking for a "girl"

True. One that's not too 'Claver and sly'.

[11:46] Emilly Orr: Oh, there are coffee shops and restaurants scattered about. But I didn't mean that. I charge.
[11:46] Zxx Cxxxxxxx: oh
[11:46] Emilly Orr: It sounds like you're looking for someone that's more interested in a relationship.
[11:46] Zxx Cxxxxxxx: ooohhh
[11:47] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmm then )
[11:47] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I give you my house keys

What?

[11:47] Emilly Orr blinks
[11:47] Emilly Orr: I...don't understand what that means.
[11:47] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Don't do it Emily!
[11:47] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: o.0
[11:47] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: :))) cool
[11:47] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: its a trap!
[11:47] Emilly Orr: Trust me, I have no intention to.

So far, he'd spectacularly failed in impressing any of us with intelligence, wit, or even the ability to string coherent words together into a single sentence.

[11:47] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx ragdoll
[11:47] Emilly Orr: ....wait.
[11:48] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: )))) I will send you keys soon
[11:48] Emilly Orr: You're looking for a doll?
[11:48] Emilly Orr: Oh, that's an ENTIRELY different proposition.

It really is. Dolls still come in all shapes and sizes, the community is still vast and diverse, but the ones he's likeliest to run across, he'd have to start frequenting the rubber/bondage sims to find. And for most rubber dolls, at least the serious ones, they seem mainly interested in other women...

[11:48] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: no its my house address in SL

Goodness, I don't want that. Have I given any indication that I want that?

[11:48] Axxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx leans over to whisper to [Nxxx] - "bet he has a freezer for of Female avatarts in his basement" -eats more popcorn-
[11:48] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: but wait [zxx] have you said something to me?
[11:48] Emilly Orr: I...don't make house calls, unless I know the patron fairly well.
[11:49] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmm it will be your house

Nooope, no it won't.

[11:49] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: This is.... profoundly creepy. *nods slowly in agreement with [Axxx]*
[11:49] Emilly Orr: It will not be my house, but thank you for the offer.
[11:50] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmmm but what you meant by affording you lol I will script you some car

I don't even know what that means. Is he offering to buy me a car? No, wait, he says 'script' here. He's offering to make me a car? But...I don't drive. Where I go, I port, I fly, I walk, or on rare occasions, I sail. I never drive, unless it's a train, and even then, no one drives a train, really...

[11:50] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: will upload some mesh jewellery

Again, not 'I will buy you pretty things', but 'I will upload something for you'. Now, let's be fair--I am not completely mercenary. I enjoy conversation and interchange, and no one's ever needed to buy me anything to make me feel desired or respected. But he's not even offering that--he's just saying "I have a template for a mesh thing, I'll upload it for you'.

But then, maybe that sort of thing impresses the non-'Claver' girls he's after...

[11:51] Emilly Orr: I'm beginning to suspect English is not your language of origin. Also, I work in Lindens.
[11:52] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: nah its my first language, you work in LL??

No. English is not a learned language? Then he is really, really bad at speaking.

[11:52] Emilly Orr shakes her head.
[11:52] Emilly Orr: We are having a failure to communicate.
[11:52] Gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: o.0
[11:52] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you mean at their San Fransisco Lab?

No.

[11:52] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: *steals some of [Axxx's] popcorn*
[11:53] Axxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx hands him the bag because she has a chocolate orange too.
[11:53] Gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx licks the orange
[11:53] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ahmmm what happened?

Got me. Though I'm no longer surprised that he can't figure out what he's doing, which seems to be how this conversation is going so far.

[11:53] Emilly Orr stares at the popcorn, but decides on rum instead.
[11:53] Axxxxxxx Fxxxxxxx whispers "this is downgrading slowly, fascinating to watch......"
[11:54] Emilly Orr: No, it's actually downgrading pretty fast. The odd thing is the only one who hasn't realized it is him.
[11:54] Gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx only upgrades
[11:54] Emilly Orr: Yes, but you're you.
[11:55] Gxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: much to the chagrin of some hehehe
[11:55] Emilly Orr grins

See, unlike some, I like our friendly neighborhood sparkly dragon. We don't interact that often outside of group chats or occasional parties, but I like him.

[11:55] nxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: why is the rum gone? Emily drank it all....
[11:56] Emilly Orr: Well, don't expect me to help with that.
[11:57] Emilly Orr: And I didn't drink all of it, I only have the one bottle!

Meanwhile, Mr. [w] had contacted me by IM.

[11:55] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: are you at working at that place?
[11:55] Emilly Orr: Which place?
[11:55] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: you said you working at linden lab
[11:56] Emilly Orr: No, I didn't.
[11:56] Emilly Orr: I said I only work in Lindens. As in, L$. As in, currency. Not scripted objects, not homes, not jewelry. Gifts are nice, but not my main transaction form.
[11:57] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: :) you like coins
[11:57] Emilly Orr blinks
[11:57] Emilly Orr: Sure...let's go with that.
[11:57] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ok I will kiss you by linden love
[11:58] Second Life: pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx paid you L$25.

[11:58] Emilly Orr: Did you want that back?
[11:58] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: huh why
[11:58] Emilly Orr: Well, why did you send it to me?
[11:58] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: its linden love

I don't understand.

[11:58] Emilly Orr: You're very odd.
[11:59] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: thank you )))) its not easy to being odd hahaha
[12:00] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: that linden love in on lips )
[12:01] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: mmmmm have you blocked me ?

Why would I block him? I block people for being offensive or hurtful, not stupid.

[12:01] Emilly Orr: No, just puzzled.
[12:02] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: why puzzled )

It was at this point I realized he was using ")" to signify ":)". I don't get him at all...

[12:03] Emilly Orr: You say you're looking for a girl, we say there's a difference between girls and women, you don't get it.
[12:03] Emilly Orr: I say I'm a courtesan, you pay me L$25.
[12:03] Emilly Orr: I don't get it.
[12:05] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: it is not like for that , just to cheer you up )) you seems good person ....being courtesan in SL in not problem

...Thanks?

[12:06] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: :)))) you love lindens that's it
[12:06] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I love lindens too))))
[12:07] Emilly Orr: Well, you are a DJ.
[12:07] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: yep I am :)))
[12:08] pxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: coins sound is best

I really didn't have anything to add to that, and the IM conversation sort of sputtered to a halt.