Friday, December 21, 2012

through it all nobody gets me like you do

I'm all for sexy outfits, at least considering tasteful design, but this one caught me by surprise:

(from the fashion album; Reasonable Desires' "Scout" dress. For...roleplay reasons? Maybe?)

I'm not saying it's bad, it's just clearly a gender-shifted Boy Scout uniform, with...substantial reduction in materials. Even so, considering some things (more on that later on) seen in SL, this is surprisingly well-made, and attractive.

At the least it doesn't run up to you with full-on bouncy physics in a thong and scream "I'M SUCH A SLUUUUUT plzlovemeohgod I'M SO NAUUUUGHTY" in your face.

You can find it at Reasonable Desires, currently on special for L$99. And yes, it includes the tent and the firepit. (No idea on shoes and backpack, but likely those and the hat as well.) For those alone it might be worth the Lindens.

[00:17] Bxxxxx Exxxxxxxx: The afterlife is fun!
[00:17] Bxxxxx Exxxxxxxx: There are pina coladas here
[00:17] Cxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxx: High speed internet?
[00:17] Cxxxxxxx Wxxxxxxxx: Cable TV?
[00:18] Bxxxxx Exxxxxxxx: no


Then it's not fun.

Some comparison shots, mostly taken at random.

(from the fashion album; random passersby while hitting the advents at Alice Project)

I don't even know where to start...But going not in any sort of defined order:
  • her boobs are bigger than her head
  • she's got tiny little baby hands
  • her skirt has officially reached "belt" territory
  • her feet are detached from her calves
And from the back, if anything, it gets worse:

(from the fashion album; random passersby while hitting the advents at Alice Project)

For starters, the lack of connection between her ankles and her legs is even more obvious. Also, there's something really off with her left knee (but I'm not entirely convinced that's not just the SL avatar mesh itself showing its age, not her). That, and:
  • there's no visible skirt panel in the back, her enormous butt has swallowed the rest of her skirt entire
  • I reference again the tiny little baby hands
  • the ring she wears (in a non-linked image) is cutting into the fingers on either side of her ring finger, because she's never bothered to adjust the size
The thing is, the hair works for her, her sunglasses work; she's pretty enough, all things considered, but...the outfit. The shoes. The shape.

Here's another "She's so pretty, but..." pic:

(from the fashion album; random passersby while grabbing Poetic Colors' latest group gift, and shopping about [kusshon] whilst there)

So....yeah. This is where mesh has brought us. If you have a mesh-enabled viewer now, you can see people with some pretty good hair, overall; some pretty great sweaters/tops overall; and some pretty repellent skirts and pants. Because seriously, that skirt. That skirt is made of fail. The only way my mind can even grasp how that misbegotten thing works is to assume it's sewn to the thong.

Which brings us to our next problem: namely, that thong:

(from the fashion album; random passersby while grabbing Poetic Colors' latest group gift, and shopping about [kusshon] whilst there)

What. The hell. Is wrong with her? Does she not see the monstrosity hanging from her hips is in defiance of several different fashion laws? And likely multiple state statutes. And it doesn't even fit in the first place!

Thing is, I think the sweater's dead cute on her, and it's really textured well, to the point that I really wish I knew who made it. But that thong. That skirt. That thong.

It's an affront to thinking beings everywhere.

Lest I be accused of solely focusing on feminine fashion flaws, let me present her compatriot in fashion suicide:

(from the fashion album; random passersby while grabbing Poetic Colors' latest group gift, and shopping about [kusshon] whilst there)

Oh, man. Where to start...Shoes aren't bad. I guess that's a plus. The hair isn't bad. There's still that dissonance of his tiny little head on those footballer shoulders, but...I'm used to that at this point. And even the fact he's chomping on pine needles is something I can ignore, because there's a candy cane attached. It's a thing, I guess. SL Xmas.

But...
  • that huge, stiff scarf was doing its best to eat his head, after a tasty meal of his neck
  • those slouchy, hipslung mesh leggings
  • seriously, let me say that again: the LEGGINGS. That's true terror, right there.
  • the mesh jacket seemed to be folding around an entirely different shape than this fellow was actually wearing
  • speaking of, he's got seriously saggy hips, which is not a shape issue for him, per se, but is an issue with those tragic mesh leggings
  • he also had weirdly tiny baby hands
  • check again, weirdly tiny baby feet, which is frankly bizarre for an average guy on the grid
  • and the BELT, people, he is wearing a BELT with pull-on, dropped-crotch, slouchy mesh knit LEGGINGS.
Dear gods.

And more to come.

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