and like a fool I kept on thinkin' of a train I could not miss

SL and IMVU are still locked, nose to nose, in the Pandering Battle; IMVU, after this:



is slightly ahead on points.

No slouch themselves on Stupid Ideas That Miss Their Target Market Completely, I would like to present Photobucket's entry:

because everyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about finding unicorns, finding glitter, and finding "stuff"; and also, because everyone knows how much Last Comic Standing cares about unicorns and glitter. Also, apparently, "stuff".

*coughs*

[A brief insert from the Editrix: Unbeknownst to me, there are services that cull the net for any mention of a word, or a particular name, and send that off to the person requesting. Apparently this has been something of a bother for the sim owner now semi-anonymized below. I trust I have picked an equivalent name that will not result in endless emails on the same topic filling his inbox.]

And finally, sim oddity. For a while this evening, I was hanging out in Haven of Rogues, watching the chairs. I'd heard about a new (read: "new to me") mer place, and it turned out to be something of a mer mall, with a lot of vendors for a lot of different styles of mer. This works for me, because I have some free mermaid tails, some paid mermaid avatars, and a bit of things off and on in between. I want to weed down what I have and concentrate on just a few 'looks', plus I'm always on the lookout for new animations.

Today, there was a gathering from one of my groups around their Lucky Chairs; several vendors had put in new items, and we're on something of an aquatic kick of late, which means I'm really going to have to find time soon and go for a serious finned swim. But I digress.

I arrived in my small bunny avatar--not the Tiny bunny, this is DP YumYum's grey rabbit avatar, about three feet tall, and I generally let her wear my posh Draconic Kiss Juliet Lolita dress, 'cos it goes with her hair. Within two minutes, I got kicked to the corner of the sim, trapped in a small little box. Why? Near as I can figure, because I was wearing a three-foot bunny avatar, and they said it looked like a child.

[23:20] Alexia Lennie: Please change to an adult avitar
[23:20] Emilly Orr: I beg your pardon?
[23:20] Emilly Orr: This is an adult avatar, this avatar is just short.

Okay, in all fairness, I don't assign designations of "adult" or "child" to my small bunny--I normally use her when building, and I observe three strong informal rules when clad in her skin:

1) She's not a child. She's short.
2) She's not "adult", either, because I don't plan to have sex in her skin.
3) The mind in the rabbit av is generally always of a mature disposition, therefore, unless the avatar is specifically shaped as a child, the avatar shares that mature dispensation, as well.

[23:20] Alexia Lennie: is this emily the model here?
[23:21] Emilly Orr: This is Emilly Orr. You don't know who you're talking to?

I realize, the stress of having bounced an utter stranger without cause may have affected her thinking, but really--doesn't the second L give it away?

Well, that, and not being in their shop group?

[23:22] Emilly Orr: But let me understand this properly: you wish me to change avatars to browse your establishment?
[23:22] Emilly Orr: I don't model for you, if you own Haven of Rogues.
[23:22] Alexia Lennie: it looks like a child ai, and right now we are having problems
[23:22] Alexia Lennie: just for now would you please change to a bigger adult one
[23:23] Emilly Orr sighs. Yes, I'll be back in a bit, then.
[23:23] Alexia Lennie: thank you hun
[23:23] Alexia Lennie: im throwing kid avis off atm see

I...see. Yes, that makes everything...clear? Though I still didn't get it--in the group I was in, mixed about half and half residents I knew and residents I'd never seen before, while most were finned, I didn't see a single avatar I would point to and think "that's a kid over there". And I usually have pretty keen kid radar. So that still perplexes me.

But, okay, I am a mostly polite person; I go off and crawl into my orca maid--I'm not feeling particularly mer today, but it was a mer place, I can hang and watch the chairs, right? The orca maid I have has a "top" layer that fades into the tail, to mimic the distinctive black and white skin pattern of the orca whale; it would lose much of its impact if it didn't have that top section. (This becomes relevant later; bear with me.)

Then this broke out in main chat:

[23:35] Jakkar Carlos: Okay, people. Indigo keep pressuring me that I am a kid avatar which is impossible because I am not so I am going to be banned. Just to let you know.
[23:35] Alexia Lennie: I did warn you Jakkar
[23:35] Alexia Lennie: you have lots of avis and you inssit on that one when you where warned

Okay, so, I know, it's just me being overly picky, but really--give ban powers to someone who spells this badly? Is that wise?

But more importantly, for folks who don't know the participants involved, Jakkar generally depicts his avatar as a bish, or bishounen. The word translates as "beautiful youth", or sometimes, just "pretty boy". Bish are a staple of yaoi fiction and anime, and--while the style is adopted widely by all sexes and a wide spectrum of ages in Japan, at least in SL it's primarily the province of young gay men--or people who desire young gay men.

And while at times Jakkar looks like a teen, at best we're talking willowy eighteen, not twelve. But to be fair to the management of Haven of Rogues, there were a lot of people there, people they didn't know, and the place has some fairly firm (and bizarre) rules. (We'll get to those in a bit.)

[23:36] Saori Nakamura: Stop being such a cow
[23:36] Indigo Jashan: LISTEN: i have made a subjective judgement call that to my eyes Jakkar looks underage

It's worth it to note at this point that Indigo seems to own much of the mall, or at least, seems to operate the group that runs it. It's also worth it to note that Saori was kicked from the sim earlier for, near as we can figure out, having too "cute" a face on her particular avatar skin. She was somewhat upset--and by that I mean Saori, not Indigo. Though Indigo could've been upset at this point, too.

[23:36] Drakon Lameth: s'ok, if some of what the covenant says in its ruleings is true, this sim could be slapped adult or be made to not have it happen... there's parts about public sexings
[23:36] Indigo Jashan: i'm sorry if Jakkar and others disagree but it it not open to discussion

I believe what Indigo said was in reference to Jakkar's appearance, not Drakon's words; however...again, we'll go into that later.

[23:37] Indigo Jashan: i'm the one gets my ass kicked here, so i make the call
[23:37] Indigo Jashan: Jakkar - butch it up 'til you look grown up or go away
[23:37] Saori Nakamura: Racists!
[23:38] Indigo Jashan: no, not racists, ageist

I have to give it to the management at Haven of Rogues; at least they're honest. They're judgemental as hell, irritating, and they don't explain nearly as much as they should, but at least they're direct.

[23:38] Gothique Graves: So technicaly I could be in a 8 foot tall avi
[23:38] Gothique Graves: Wearing diapers
[23:38] Gothique Graves: And i'd be ok?
[23:38] Indigo Jashan: and i personally don't give a shit what people do in their own space
[23:38] Saori Nakamura: I just told you im not a bloody child and you still kick me
[23:38] Indigo Jashan: but this isn't your own space
[23:39] Indigo Jashan: and if you were wearing diapers i'd kick you out for being gross

Again--irritating in execution, but direct.

[23:59] Darlana Greene: Someone just said "This is my sim and I can kick you out for the color of your shoes"
[23:59] Darlana Greene: "And it's not up for discussion"

I guess that about says it all.

Here's what gets me, though. Through trial and error we discovered that most of these "rules" are covered in the covenant for the Haven of Rogues sim. But seriously, who puts behavior rules in their covenant and not makes one single mention of it to people who come into the shopping area--which is most residents' first experience of any sim?

Automatic notecard giver. A drop-down saying "Please read the covenant rules". Standing unit--click it and get the landmark and the list of rules.

I know they know how to utilize the drop-down menu, because I was handed a landmark when I hit the mall, so...it can't be that.

Maybe they just like getting bitchy with people? Who haven't read the rules because seriously, who reads the covenant to find out rules of behavior if we're not thinking of living there?!? I will honestly tell you, I have never gone into a shop for a frock or a pose or a piece of furniture and had it cross my mind even once that maybe, I should read the land covenant before shopping there.

It's mental.

So is the covenant in question:

Welcome to the "Haven of Rogues" estate. The estate consists of 2 regions: "Haven of Rogues" (HoR) and "Haven of Mermaids" (HoMer) due east of HoR.

IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE IN THIS COVENANT, READ THE ONE MAIN RULE (But I'd read the whole thing if I were u):

1. The entire estate is a "No Meters" zone and "No Tops" are authorized on mers anywhere but in the commercial area (Rogue Tower).

That means "remove your meter" (now's a good time) & mermaids: "take off your top."

If you don't know what a "meter" is, don't ask.

Why just "mermaids" and not "mermen" take off their tops, too? Umm, think about it. But if you should find a merman in HoR or HoMer wearing his top while swimming about ... please take a photo and send it to me so I can put it up somewhere.

Why? Simple: My sim, my rules. Don't like 'em? Great.

Keep reading (or go away). :o)

I guess that's one way to look at it: the prototypical "My way or the highway" of sim dictatorship. Which is fair, by its own rules: he owns the sim, he sets the rules; don't like 'em, you don't have to be there. Fine, as far as it goes; but some of this is in direct contraindication to the established guidelines of Linden Labs as to what "PG", "Mature", and "Adult" actually mean.

Think of it as equal opportunity!

A merman would look goofy wearing a shirt, right? So does a mermaid, for the exact same reason.

Again, in the odd case that you missed the point here:

With the exception of the commercial (store) areas located in "Rogue Tower," unless there are mermen in either region who prefer to wear a top, you may not. And meters are not to be worn ANYWHERE in the HoR estate. So, please remove them immediately, return from whence you came, or, by default in that you are choosing to remain in HoR and NOT follow the law(s) as set forth in this covenant, you are indicating that you are makin' yourself "a target."

That's a good thing, I like targets; I like to shoot at things every now and then when I get "in a mood" and something that moves every so often makes a better target.

The management of HoR is well aware that there are some (usually women ... or 'men' who have been called to defend one) who believe mermaids should be allowed to wear tops but this is not up for debate and/or negotiation. If *you* would like to be "clothed and unnatural," have at it --- elsewhere. :o)

Feel free to explore Haven of Rogues as a clothed human ... or a "naked" fish or other animal ... but, unless you are shopping -- not as "Ariel with a top."

Get it?

Got it?

Good.

Oh, I got it--I'm fairly sure the next time I'm in world, I delete the landmark and never trouble them again with my presence--but also, it seems somewhat odd to insist on toplessness in a Mature-rated sim; especially since, as far as I know, the question of plain SL nudity being "Adult" or "Mature" was never properly resolved. Just for showing breasts, should they be rated "Adult"? I really don't know, I'm not the one to ask.

But back to the covenant:

SO! To review ...
If you are wearing a meter, take it off. Mermaids: wearing a top? Take it off ... this is an equal opportunity Mer area, if Mermen swim around topless, so too must Mermaids.

1 more thing: NO BREEDING PETS (like those dumbass BUNNIES!) ... ... 'nuff said.

On to the important stuff:

And now they get to the "important stuff"? So what was all the nonsense about women being naked on their sim, just...filler?!?

Onward (I admit, I'm skipping a bit because the covenant does blather on for some time):

LET IT BE KNOWN:
After more than four billion years of operating with a Covenant that has NEVER changed, the planet Earth still exists -- that's a pretty good Covenant.
AS SUCH: "Haven of Rogues" and "Haven of Mermaids" operate in conjunction with Earth's 6 basic rules (TOS?):

Connectedness: Every occurrence in nature affects something else; nothing happens in isolation.

Rhythm: Cycles are an integral part of nature: birth and death, dearth and abundance, ebb and flow. Nature doesn't attempt to fight off this natural rhythm in the name of control.

Balance: Nature thrives on both order and chaos. Constant change creates constant balance. Balance cannot come from "either/or," but only from "both."

Acceptance: Nature "just is." It has no agenda to control. Everything has both value and beauty. Water changes the shape of all it touches - without competing with it.

Openness: There are no boundaries in nature, no walls. Nothing is inaccessible to anything else. There are borders, such as between sea and land, but even here we find constant change and a rich variety of life.

Simplicity: No energy is wasted in nature; it always takes the "least energy" path. The result is elegant simplicity.

Here is where I started to get an inkling about the "sexual acts in public" comments in main chat from earlier. But I still had a long way to read to get to this section:

IF YOU DO CONDUCT BUSINESS HERE, a portion of your GP will be arranged btwn you & management, before opening day, to be passed along to management. IF YOU CONDUCT UNAUTHORIZED BUSINESS HERE (such as hanging out and hitting on visitors (ie., you're an unauthorized hooker), utilizing the "sex areas" for profit or taking your clients aboard one of the boats for a "sail of pleasure," you owe [Derain] money.

ADDITIONALLY: The peformance of sexual acts - ANYwhere, ANYtime, under ANY circumstances or conditions that are conducted ANYwhere on the island (other than in or on rented property) *IS* considered "Commercial Business" (see previous para. re: "you owe [Derain] money"). Figure out a deal and propose it to [Derain] before he proposes one FOR you - you'd probably like yours better than his. If you rent land or a home from [Derain], then what you do and who you do it with or to is your own business as long as it's within the confines of your own parcel.

So...unless I'm misinterpreting things...sex is a business transaction; [Derain Revanche] is in control of all business transactions; sex can happen anywhere if one works out an agreement with [Derain] in advance...

...so it really should be an "Adult" rated sim. I get it now.

And finally we come to two last rules I'd like to mention:

Rogue Rule #8: No annoying behavior of any kind will be tolerated my Matisse at anytime, anywhere. This goes beyond "No Griefing of any kind," because it is [Derain] who will decide what is "annoying." If anyone has a question about the definition of the word "annoying" at any time, see RR's 1&2. This should suggest to most that the practicing of normally accepted good manners, basic politeness, speaking when spoken to and other fundamental social etiquette features you SHOULD have picked up at some point when you were young should be all that that is required for a pleasant stay in the Haven of Rogues estate.

and

Rogue Rule #10: Public nudity is acceptable, public sex is not. Mermaids are required to be so. Wanna be naked? Have at it. Knock yourself out. Wanna have sex in Ikatere? I don't blame ya! Rent some land, build a hooch, use someone else's land or hooch ... or open a club where EVERYONE can have sex. [Derain] has always wanted to have one of those on his land, but since he knows nothing about sex and never gets horny so he hasn't gotten around to that.

So, okay, public sex is out--according to him, or at least, as far as he knows--but public nudity is in, plus mention of escorting in the covenant...that treads awfully close to the line on the sim being rated "Adult", if not dances right over that line and sets it on fire. Additionally, the bit about politeness and etiquette guiding our behavior on his sim...does that also include his sim managers?

Because personally, it does not want to make me look for anything in their shopping area if, for no discernable reason I could be ported off to a small square box with no exit without being informed what the infraction is; if, because I look twee that day, I'm declared to be a kid; if, without a word to me, I could be deemed socially inacceptable because my mermaid deigns to keep her breasts covered.

Let me tell you, sunshine, the reason I have modesty scales, shell tops, and other ephemera for the upper half of my collection of mers? Is because at least half the seas I swim in are P-friggin'-G and they aren't likely to change.

So, after these moments of evaluation, I think I can safely say: no, thank you, Mr. [Revanche]; your "gracious" and "polite" staff have thoroughly impressed me that I want nothing from you, your waters, or your mall; that, in fact, I'll probably keep you clearly in mind as a place to avoid. I want to risk no potential Linden-level bans on the off chance your waters are declared Adult due to the presence of observable sexual behavior, and/or public nudity, and there are those in your seas who don't happen to be age-verified when that change occurs. No thank you, happy to not take the risk, and truly, I am grateful you made it clear I am not welcome at any time.

[Sadly, I can do nothing about the names on the comments without deleting the entry; if it continues to be a problem, I will rewrite this with as much as I can of the original comments preserved--names changed in [Derain Revanche]'s case--and we can all go about our days.]