23 December, 2012

the ice was breaking so

I admit, I don't get the whole butt-wider-than-Wyoming shape thing. And it's everywhere right now. And why? Why is this the SL next big thing?

But I digress. A challenger approaches!

(from the bizarre album; the big-booty brigade in Viviane Fashions)

And she seems to have even less taste than the other two. (Also, does the woman in jeans just have an ass that goes vertically? I've never seen anyone's rear, in SL or RL, just go straight out in a vertical line.)

(from the bizarre album; the big-booty brigade in Viviane Fashions)

I swear, all she did was max out the sliders for hips, saddle and legs. She looks badly inflated. Worse, she looks blockily inflated, as if instead of just going bulbous, she went hexagonal.

(from the bizarre album; the big-booty brigade in Viviane Fashions)

The front of the outfit wasn't much better than the back. No, I take that back: it was better, just...not in any good way.

Oh, and in case anyone's curious: this was one of the least disturbing contortions her AO spun her through, yes.

(from the bizarre album; Bridezilla and the fluffy dress of fluffiness)

And then, I met Bridezilla.

Not even kidding: see that tiny little bit of blonde hair on the right side of her hips? Yeah. That avatar is taller than I was. And Bridezilla was twice her height.

(from the bizarre album; Bridezilla and the fluffy dress of fluffiness)

Note: I am not saying Bridezilla was unattractive, even with the gargantuan ass settings. I liked the look, she had enough mass (no pun intended) to even counterbalance the bulk of her rear, but she was fifteen feet tall, easy.

Also, note that figure in the teal dress, far off to the right? That's me. That shape currently rates at 5'8", one of my taller forms. Granted, I'm farther away, but still, the difference is disturbing.

(from the bizarre album; Bridezilla and the fluffy dress of fluffiness)

From this angle, though, you can clearly see the distortion of her underlying shape. Maxing out sliders is not the way to create lush, rounded curves; all you get are bunches interspersed with sharp, unsettling (and unsexy) bits. Which is what her body from the waist down pretty much is--planed globes attached to sharp non-curves and angular spikes. Thank you, but no. Between that and the height? Yeah, she goes on the WTF list.

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hide away, they say, 'cos we don't want your broken parts

Yeah, so...remember that thing I was recovering from? You know, last year ? Yeah. I did it again. So this is Em Faw Down Go Boom part ...