Wednesday, December 26, 2012

and though we're coping, I just hope it's not contagious

Picking up where we left off from my (limited) experience with Perfect World International, we're now at the "noble" preset for Winged Elf female clerics:

(from the games album; the "noble" elf)

And I'm still baffled. What makes this "noble"? The hair jewels? The brown hair? The stance? What?

(from the games album; the "proud" preset)

This is the "proud" preset, and...at this point I was losing the ability to do more than sputter incoherently at the screen. She had hair wrapped around a bulbous brain worm. Or she was secretly hiding her dual identity as an elf/Alien cross.

(Bizarrely, when I went off searching to see if any luckless artist had drawn an Alien/elf crossover, Google led me to Lady Gaga. Now I have fear.)

(from the games album; the "stylish" elf)

I think the "stylish" preset simply means "she has white hair".

(from the games album; they're getting worse.)

And this was the final preset, "wild". Trust me: you didn't want a view from the front. It made my brain scream. Also, it took me working down to the very last preset to realize by "Winged Elf", PWI means "head wings". Why did I notice now, and not earlier? Because the "wild" spiky hairstyle manages to completely swallow the head wings in those ginormous, unsettling spikes.

But there were other problems. Like the giant gunboat feet:

(from the games album; Perfect World's default feet.)

Seriously, each foot was the size of her total hip width, easy. The hell. And there were no sliders to resize the feet from "pontoon" to "humanoid in scale".

(from the games album; the giant hands.)

It still got worse--these are their distorted meathook hands, on what limited close-up action I could get whilst building my cleric--and an even closer shot of the gunboat feet, and how they're actually constructed. (Which is to say, wrong. They are constructed wrong.)

Next up: what eventually drove me from the game (in two separate directions, even).

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