I want trees instead of gravestones, nothing to confess

Today marks the end of the doll. The end of many things, in a sense, but mainly, the doll, and everything she stood for and functioned for. There is some melancholy, but honestly, not as much as I expected.



Let me explain.

While I had the doll significantly before I had the relationship that partially centered around it, the doll became...more...as that relationship grew. And when I broke up with that person, and moved on--for the, well, first time--the doll remained bound to that relationship. I didn't feel I could freely interact, as the doll, with anyone other than that person. Now, that may be a my-head thing, I do have a lot of odd issues concerning people, love, relationships, that can get fairly arcane, but...to me, I held to the standard initially set: No one else plays with the doll.

In a sense, I'm still holding to that standard, which is why I chose to pack her away over just deleting her.

Now, as we're on the verge of the second break-up (in a sense; it's...complicated), I realized I couldn't function as the doll past this point. She was too interwoven with that particular dominant. She was still reserved solely for that person's use, and...if I'd kept out the doll, and all the EGL/Lolita accoutremonts...it would have been a constant irritation, a thorn reminding me of all that had been lost. I will have those reminders anyway, to be sure, but...this way, I satisfy my own reservations about being the doll again, as well as that part of me that says she's only for one doll-maker.

There is a sense of loss in this, though. I wish we'd been able to work things out. I wish we'd been able to reach an accord. There is no accord, and past this point, I'm not entirely sure what happens. So much of the rest of my life, both on and off the grid, is still interwoven with that person. In terms of how I spend my time, the things I do with friends, there's a lot of interaction. And in a very real, and now, very uncomfortable sense, I don't want things to change because of this on a friendship level.

But it's very difficult to make the transition from lovers to friends. Even though we've pretty much been friends only for over a year, it's still going to be difficult. And as much as I may want the transition to be simple, painless, easy...it likely won't be, and...I have to accept that.

Relationships fade. People move on. It's never something we can shrug off and simply discard, if they meant anything meaningful to us in the first place. I want to remain a friend, because I have been friends, and more, for most of my SL life...but if it cannot be, I will have to adapt. That will be hard on both of us.

But this has to be done. Past today, no more doll. No more keys. No more collar. It took packing away and subsequent deletion of 5,360 items to get to this point, and I'm not going back. No more. No. More.

I will regret that this ended, especially in such a sad way, but...I can't let that stop me. I've done what I can. Now it's time to move on.

I use a cobra-snake for a necktie

The longest night is over, and we are now in the heart of winter, chill and dark. This is never something to fear, but it is something to anticipate with extra preparations.

Remember to stay warm, stock up on light sources, staples and medical/survival gear, and prepare for the long season of snow.

Turns out the strange message I heard a while back for Ravenglass Rentals? It was trolling from a bot. Still seemed strange enough to bring it up, but hey, now we know, at least?

The film Bright doesn't seem to be doing well, but could it possibly be their marketing tie-ins that were suspect to start with? Exhibit A, the hour-long video of the literal garbage fire that's showing on Netflix among the Yule Log selections.

Patreon has walked back its Netflix-level mistake, after hearing from thousands of creators that they were losing patrons at an insane rate. Which is good, but still points to changes that need to happen. I think those of us who are supporting creators are going to be watching them very closely from now on.

And anyone remember these old restaurant chains? Amusingly, I know there's at least one Sambo restaurant still in operation, because we ate there (RL), about...five years ago? It might be gone now, to be fair, but five years ago, it was near the coast. But a lot of those, I don't remember ever seeing.

the lower you go the less that you'll know

Inspirobot is my life. That is all.

Received out of the blue by a friend today:

[23:40] RavenglassGreeter4: Rent from Prokofy Neva's Ravenglass Rentals today! We're in business in 13th year. Total freedom! Build! Media ennabled! Weekly senior club! Artificial chicken farm! We're a proud #MAGA community and guarantee a safe & conservative environment. Liberals, muslims and other hecklers aren't welcome! Your abusive message is permission to publish your chat! Contact Prokofy Neva to make Second Life great again and get your very own CHEAP cottage from only 1000L/week!

I have several questions.

Chiefly, is Ms. Neva a Trump supporter? More to the point, is "RavenglassGreeter4" a bot of hers, or is it a trollbot spawned to cause trouble? I literally cannot tell, save for misspelling "Prokofy"...though now I'm wondering if I'm misspelling her name by saying it's spelled "Prokovy". Now I don't know.

sometimes a heart can feel like a heavy weight

The Sacred Grove for Her Gnostic Majesty, the Hidden Queen. It was meant to be a dance space, an event space, a place for small rituals and gatherings, even meetings if such were desired. While it was open to the public, it was designed to be part of Armada, and...when Armada left...the Sacred Grove began to gather dust.



I was tasked by Archduke Greyhaven to build a space that was inclusive, and multi-purpose. I felt the center of it should be the dance ring, and the use of space reflected that. But around the edge of the center ring were benches and draped rocks, places to sit or to dance more privately.



It wasn't a matching set, and it wasn't intended to be. Some seating was wood, some was stone, some was carved, some had cushions. I was pondering if I had room for a hot springs, water cascading from the back of the parcel, for months. (Eventually I decided against it.)



The space was intended to be free for all use; the only reference I had to any financing was a small jar next to the eldritch fireplace, seen above, and that was all I intended to have. Asking to support the space wasn't the point; the point was to offer the space, period.



And now...it's gone.

I want to make it more of a lyrical thing, I do, but...I don't have a better explanation. After Armada sunk into the clockwork sea, Archduke Greyhaven lost his heart for the grid, his passion to build and transform. For September, he sent me funds to maintain the parcels--in my name and his--and I did my best. But when October arrived, two things happened: he dropped out of contact once more, and the typist became very ill. I wasn't truly recovered, and able to access the world, until the last week of October, and so I informed him. His decision came down two weeks past, and told me that if we needed to let go some parcels in Rosehaven or Babbage, to do so.

So, with a heavy heart...that's what I've done. The Sacred Grove is gone.



Now I'm pondering the virtual life, yet again. Who am I, here, and who do I want to be? What causes do I want to support? I still believe in Greyhaven and Armada-now-gone, but does the Archduke? And if he doesn't, what is eventually going to happen to the rest of his parcels, the ones not in my name?

And paying down the great debt I've incurred in Babbage may well be ruinous, but I will do it. It was in my name, it was my responsibility, even if the funds were supposed to be sent to me to pay them on. The agreements were between me and the Archduke, Mr. Tenk should not have to accept culpability for that. But it does hurt. And I am worried.

We proceed from here. That's all I can do. But I will be thinking, long and hard, on what got me here, and where I go from here. The only thing I'm sure of is remaining at Sakura...and being the redheaded troublemaker for House Whiteberry. Everything else may well be in flux. Time will tell us all what happens next.

into the dark forest and the ice-covered leaves

This is not my typical fare--usually, it's just cookies--but this was too good not to share.

Fall Harvest Soup



Notes: Most of our ingredients for this came from a large container of frozen butternut squash puree, along with root vegetables from the farmers' market and a food-sharing service. But I think it would work just as well, if not even better, with fresh ingredients.

Ingredients:

1 quart chicken broth, or broth of choice
4 lbs butternut squash (we used puree, though feel free to buy one or two squashes, cube them, and cook them down)
2 cups sweet potato, peeled and sliced into ribbons
1 medium onion, diced
2 turnips, diced
1/2 cup diced bacon (cooked; we used turkey bacon, because we're weird, but again, feel free to use real bacon or tempeh)
3 medium carrots, sliced thin
1 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp cayenne
1 tsp paprika
2 tsp coconut oil (or oil of choice)
1 Tblsp granulated garlic
salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

Combine butternut squash and chicken broth in a pot over medium heat. Mix thoroughly, then stir once every few minutes. In a separate pot or pan, sauté sweet potato ribbons in a bit of coconut oil, until their color blooms and they're tender. Add to butternut squash mixture and stir.

In the sweet potato pan, add a bit more of the coconut oil, then sauté turnips, chopped bacon, carrots, and onion together until onions are translucent. Add those ingredients to the butternut squash mixture, and stir.

Toss in the oregano, cayenne, paprika, garlic, salt and pepper (if using dried ingredients) at this point, and stir.

Cook until all ingredients are tender, then turn the heat down to low. Continue to cook until the soup is the desired consistency. (If using fresh herbs and fresh minced garlic, toss the garlic in before the final cook phase, then the fresh herbs about five minutes before serving.

For us, this made three big servings for us, then we refilled the 4-lb tub the frozen puree came in with the leftovers. So I'd say it will serve up to six, or even eight, easily, or three to five with leftovers. It was sweet, comforting, slightly spicy (you can leave the cayenne out if you don't favor heat), and the best thing is, the leftovers get better with age. It's really an ideal fall/winter soup.

Enjoy!

little deaths in musical beds

Oh, dear. This one sounds so bad I just had to see it in person:

Welcome to SpookyVille where ther is fear an haunt of halloween and ghost crows freddy spiders having 4 scary rides an a haunted house crossing a bridge an having a walk

with fear free give away t shirts an candie

That is a direct quote from their profile. Hoo boy.



Ah, it's a ride. Okay.



I'm deeply unsure as to why all the walls are moving. It does create an unsettling effect, but also, a confusing one. There's really no need for the walls to move, especially if the floors and ceilings don't.



There's a lot of commercial properties used here, unsurprisingly. Though the same can be said of many RL spook rides as well, that doesn't make it acceptable here. Still, they're generally used not only as enhancements to the scene, but clearly as props, not the movie monsters themselves.



There are things that don't make sense, like this passage, where the ride car carries us a third of the way through the cabin wall, for no discernable reason. It's best to just go with these moments.



There's a space segment, of course. It's very clearly another set, but you know, there's a charm in that. The planets are nicely presented, the 'ship' the car moves through is creepily atmospheric, and overall, it still works.



Basically, the ride car moves through different 'sets', or modules, or skyboxes--pick your term--but it's fairly smoothly scripted, nothing sending the riders off into the next sim, or dropping them out of the sky jaggedly before picking them up again. Good, basic scripting shows, and lasts.



And then, the ride dumped me off at the end in a damage-enabled patch of fire, I died, and was sent home. Abrupt, but amusing.

Thing is, it feels very old-school at this point, to the point that I'm fairly sure I've ridden it--and reviewed it--before, but...even with that, it's not terrible. They could do a better job on concealing the 'exteriors' of the ride sets (considering everything is boxes within boxes, I get why that's sometimes difficult), but overall, it was fun and worth the time.

If you have some time to kill, and aren't looking for anything deeply disturbing, check it out.

you're sinking to the bottom now

Apparently, Starbucks is introducing a Zombie Frappuccino for the holiday. I don't know about you, but zombies are not good drink ingredients. Just sayin'.

In the meantime...



You find yourself waking up, the shore of an unfamiliar island ahead of you.

It's no longer surprising how often this happens.



The boat you are on has a hole and has taken on water. You get off by now and take a look at your surroundings.

Seems...pretty bleak. And with warning signs. That's never good.

What was once unfamiliar has now reminded you of a terrible tale:



It all happened one night when the circus arrived on an island. Every child was thrilled by the visiting show and all had gone to partake in merriment they hadn't yet known. During a performance, the troupe of clowns had thrown candy into the stalls. Delighted, each and every child had devoured the sweets.



But the next night, the adults were dead. Every one of them slain by the children.



Welcome to the very island where that awful massacre occurred.

Welcome to Drurem Hills.

I should mention, if you decide to go? I have altered these five pictures severely. The entire sim is nearly pitch-black normally, it's hard to see anything.

holding on to what I haven't got

Tonight I went to the theatre again. It had been some time, and the night was dark when I crept through the ruined back wall. There were shadows, and in the shadows there were shadows, but I still had to go.



It had been a long time coming. Talks had broken down, vanished into mist, evaporated like condensation on glass. It had been so long I lost the location of where I needed to go, more than once. But tonight, tonight I found it.



It did disturb me, a bit, seeing the soulless husks clustered near the backstage door. Had they once been living, breathing dolls, or were they always just constructs, momentary whims of imagination? Had I been a whim to begin with?



Some of them had the ability to move, to intercept, some did not, but to their credit, no one tried. Or perhaps, their instructions prevented them from moving against another of his creations. I didn't stay long enough to ask; I needed access to the backstage area, where dolls and dancers changed. Or...were changed.



Strangely, the back door led out to moss underfoot, the lapping of waves at a dark shore, and a half-ruined temple, with a portal gate. That seemed unnecessary, but he always loved embellishment. Holding my breath, I went through the swirling violet, hoping to find what I sought on the other side.



And there it was. Mine at last. The key he'd given me originally, the key I'd given back to him when I still had hope. There is no hope now, and I'm taking it back. The source of the doll's power will be under his control no longer, and she will fade into the mists, never to be seen again. I may still be a shifter, but I have no more need for shifting into porcelain and piano wire, powered by the key and attention.

No more keys. No more dolls. No more strings.

No more.

(Pictures taken in The Arpeggio abandoned theatre and the Hum and Shiver haunt in Picklemoon. I can highly reccommend both.)

something’s corrupt in the tides

Nearly a month since the last entry. A month which would typically have been filled by haunted house entries, reviews of shopping events or hunts with a dark, spooky, or pagan bent, and casual links found in my travels around the net. Last October I managed one haunt review per day, and some days, I pulled off two. I wasn't planning to work that hard this year, but I did want to cover the new ones I found, at least.

Instead, I've mostly been off the grid. For the first year since I started going through Octoberville, I may not make it on the board for this year's title. I may not finish looking through the Decennial Market in the roof garden above the Fallen Gods store. I haven't even started the Timeless hunt, nor gone through We RP for the month. I haven't done a lot of things.

Instead, I got sick. With...something still unknown. Could have been food poisoning, could have been a mutant strain of flu...no one seems to know yet, and I'm not going to spend much time breaking it down here. All I know is, I'm getting better very slowly, and it's grueling. The lack of energy is killing me most. There are days where I get up, toast a piece of bread, take twenty minutes to eat it, and go right back to bed.

This kind of thing, it doesn't pair well with running around the grid snapping pics of haunted houses, let alone working and maintaining a social life.

I miss the decorations. I miss the haunts. I miss the autumn leaves and the pumpkins on the doorsteps. But most of all, I just miss the grid. It's bothering me greatly that I don't have the energy to even log in some days.

But for anyone I haven't managed to catch on the brief times I've made it in, that's why I've been mostly absent. Exactly the wrong month for this to happen, but I don't seem to have much choice in the matter. I may even miss the Sakura Halloween Ball. I've already missed Mr. Peccable's wedding--belated congratulations to him and his lady wife, I was sadly unable to log in because of the...whatever. Annoying thing that it is.

Any well wishes will be most humbly accepted, but mostly, I just want things to return to--well, not normal, because we are talking about me--my life wasn't normal to start with. But return to at least the sort of stability I had before. That would be nice.

And if it returns with enough coffee to coat my internal organs and enough gin to float away on, I'll be doubly grateful, because I live with cruel, cruel women who won't buy me gin. And who only allot me four cups of coffee per day. A tragedy.

Update more when I can.

in the order of life, they know you there

Found another haunted hunt, only this one's set in...Silent Hill.



Silent Hill in general has an intriguing history on the grid. Because it's such a foundational horror game, a great many fans have turned their energy to making fan-based media in various venues. So on the one hand, faithful recreation is blatant copyright violation, but on the other...we get experiences like this, of walking into the games we love, of being there, on the ground, as it were, living through the same things.



One of the game series' most iconic moments was from the first game, and a section from this video is pretty much what you first see when you rez into the sim. It's eerie how well it matches, nearly perfectly realized...down to the car.



The experience/haunt/interactive game started in September, and goes through the end of October. Now, apparently one must be a member of the group to get some prizes on the hunt itself, but the group's free, and it's not required to go on the experience, which is worth it all by itself.



The...Shiba Inu...from the...dog ending... *collapses into giggles*



Well, this does not bode well. (For those not in the know, this is a major feature of the game's internal mythology. This is the Halo of the Sun, a symbol of the faith of the Order, the main game's main antagonist group. Having it as a sign for the subway? Pretty much tells me "Monsters this way; come on down!")



NotRobbienotRobbienotRobbienotRobbie--



And then I entered a very dark room, met a Nurse with blood dripping from her blade, heard a bunch of zombies moaning somewhere close by--and crashed.

So what's my takeaway from all this? This is a sim-size haunt. It is big. Allocate a few hours to the thing, or take it an hour or two at a time over several days. And maybe turn your settings way down, so when the zombies start rezzing in packs you don't get trapped in lag like a mosquito in amber.

Oh, and your game hud? Does have a health bar. So I'm assuming this will be one of the haunts in which we can, in fact...die.

head full of questions, how can you measure up?

Caderu! It's kind of a hunt, it's kind of a haunt, it's not really equipped for English. Onward!



Oh hey! A train! Took me a bit to figure out that the box 'passengers' aren't gifts to pick up, but just shop logos so we know who's behind this event.



Well...that's not creepy at all... *coughs* ...Also, there's a website. It is not that helpful.

Enjoy!



Most of the transitions between zones are pretty easy to figure out, thankfully. It's not hard, even when things are labeled mostly in Japanese.



NO THANK YOU...



It has visual novel elements, but it's a bit tricky. There are some minigames to complete, like this washing-dishes one, though they go pretty fast. But overall, the story is engaging, and there are opportunities to earn a Bad End and a Good End (as well as the secret, True End), so it's a good thing it's not dull, because one may have to replay it three times!

Enjoy?