here abandoned in my fame, armageddon of the brain

Spam sent to this entry (and why is all the spam going to 2009 posts, seriously?) originally:

I seemed to be one specific mummy or perhaps the father of several elegant family and in addition [url redacted] for the reason that mother or father you please remember when you consider key objective tend to be the coverage so well-being in our, coming from long life cost. Numerous state that it's always currently being relatively big. Just I would much rather wind up as deemed as ridiculous instead of a neglectful mummy alternatively pa. [url redacted] The fact that fathers each undesirable horror usually is matter unfavorable going on to our own child/ren. Which means that, should child tunes make it easy for dad and mom so that you can take a break a bit easier (after dark time period before everybody is slumber there is also twiddling with an alternate opportunity since we typically very own amused occurrences),[url redacted] then there's worth every penny.

Well, now. Point by point:

• The poster is one of the undead, lurching about conspicuously in cerement wrappings. Also stated: he's the father of several "elegant family". Okay, then.
• The poster is pleading with his family to invest, as immortality is expensive.
• The poster would rather be seen as ridiculous than neglectful as a parent...or as a shambling monster?
• The poster equates children with eldritch horrors. (Well...)
• Finally, the poster seems pretty convinced that involving said eldritch children in a singing group would be pretty profitable.

Am I getting better at translating these things? Do we care? We move on anyway.

Actually, no, I do have one more thing--apparently the knockoff designer shoe people like me, and I'm beginning to see why--I publish their stuph, which, even translated, hits the search spiders.

Bad me.

So for this one, I'm just going to transcribe out the advice it gives in the hopes that it will be helpful.

This one originally hit that same 2009 entry, and this is what it suggested:

• In marriage, the correct dress color is essential. Also, dressing Marie is essential. (Apparently if you don't have a bride named Marie, you should get one.)
• Marriage parties should also offer souvenirs, flowers, and knockoff pumps. (I guess knockoff pumps go with anything.)
• Once the dress is picked out, the correct foot for the bride's feet should be picked out. (I guess if her feet don't fit, they'll need to be replaced.)
• Marriage is all about the shoes. Remember that.
• Do not buy shoes that make your feet dance. (These are known as cursed shoes, and really, you should avoid them.)
• Do not buy shoes that make your legs shake. (Because, dear gods, why would you?)
• And for wedding shoes, you should decide the exact size necessary to walk in the eye. (Because...uh....that's important?)

I hope these wedding tips have helped prospective brides. Remember, knockoff designer shoe spammers care about your well-being. And your shoes.