I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change

It's been such a strange day.

Poured out my heart to the darkened moon at far too early in the far too early morning. Fell asleep in the laundry basket and had strange dreams cross-threaded between Steelhead denizens and Rivulan ones. Woke with an old sweater wrapped around my head, blinking out at the black marble floor of my home.

Went to a sandbox, and didn't build anything, for a very long time. Sorted through notecards, of all things, deciding what to keep and what to leave behind.

Then my neko boi withdrew his proposal and asked me to forgive him.

Has there been enough drama yet? I'm just not sure. Maybe we need something to really overheat and explode, showering us with hot metal shrapnel in the process.

But tonight's been calming, I went to watch Silas Scarborough play in Steelhead, and had fun dancing--by myself, with the neko lad, and with the darkened moon--so I didn't feel quite so set adrift on the seas of my fate.

I break down in the middle and lose my thread
No one can understand a word that I say
When I break down just a little and lose my head
Nothing I try to do can work the same way

Any time it happened I'd get over it
With a little help from all my friends
Anybody else could see what's wrong with me
But they walk away and just pretend

When I break down

I break down in the middle and lose my thread
No one can understand a word that I say
When I break down just a little and lose my head
Nothing I try to do can work the same way

Where are all the friends who used to talk to me
All they ever told me was good news
People that I've never seen are kind to me
Is it any wonder I'm confused

When I break down, when I break down

Freedom, freedom, we will not obey
Freedom, freedom, take the wall away
Freedom, freedom, we will not obey
Freedom, freedom, take them all away...
("Breakdown", Alan Parsons Project)

Yeah. Alone in the crowd surrounding, he said. And I tire of it, I do. And I reach out, but most of the time...it goes unnoticed.

Current build: Watching the hair designer magnifique both design hair for a current project, and restyle me with skin and hair, has made me want to learn hair at last. I think I shall start to work learning how to build hair.