and what she doesn't know is how long it takes for the water to rise

This has been the morning for bizarre emails. First, woke up this morning, checked email, and was sent this by the Lindens:

Hi Emilly Orr,

We are writing to let you know that we removed some content you had in Second Life under our Intellectual Property Policy. For a list of the specific content we removed, please see the "IP Complaint Details" below at the bottom of this email.

When we receive an intellectual property complaint, we investigate it and look for copies of the content identified in the complaint. Our investigation found that you had some of this content. We replaced the content with generic placeholder item(s), as described in our FAQs on our Intellectual Property Complaint Process.

If you weren't aware of an intellectual property issue, don't panic or take it personally! Just take steps to avoid content that may have intellectual property issues. Here are some tips to protect yourself and keep your inworld shopping safe and fun.

Many thanks for your interest in Second Life.

-- The IP Team at Linden Lab

IP COMPLAINT DETAILS

Content Removed:

• Item: Animation named "AK Dance 1 suave" Location: Inventory of Emilly Orr
  
• Item: Animation named "AK Dance 16 energico" Location: Inventory of Emilly Orr

*If animations were removed, the replacement animation may be in your HUD or animation override (AO).

Okay. So their IP department is working. The problem? I don't remember buying either of these dances. I did a quick scan--obviously not for those, because they're gone--and it's nothing I've put in my chimera (all official, bought moves, mostly Sine Wave club dances and fan dances) or that I still had in Winter's dance bracelet (still freebie content, but for the most part verified freebie content).

How'ver, I have the habit of picking up stray animation HUDs. Why? Because there may be an animation or two in there that's good for posing for photographs, or using myself in or out of a photography studio. Nothing turned up, but I'm thinking it wasn't something I was using anyway.

Then this came in:

From: wowaccountadmin@blizzard.com
To: me

Greetings!

It has come to our attention that you are trying to sell/trade your personal World of Warcraft account(s).

As you may or may not be aware of, this conflicts with the EULA and Terms of Agreement.

If this proves to be true, your account can and will be disabled. It will be ongoing for further investigation by Blizzard Entertainment's employees.

If you wish to not get your account suspended you should immediately verify your account ownership.

If the information is deemed accurate, the investigation will be dropped.

This action is taken because we at Blizzard Entertainment take these sales quite seriously. We need to confirm you are the original owner of the account. This is easiest done by confirming your personal information along with concealed information about your account.

we recommend you Login verify Information your account:

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com

If you ignore this mail your account can and will be closed permanently. Once we verify your account, we will reply to your e-mail informing you that we have dropped the investigation.

Using the automated system, please contact Billing & Account Services at

1-800-59-BLIZZARD (1-800-592-5499) Mon-Fri, 8am-8pm Pacific Time or at billing@blizzard.com. Account security is solely the responsibility of the account holder. Please be advised that in the event of a compromised account, Blizzard representatives typically must lock the account. In these cases the Account Administration team will require faxed receipt of ID materials before releasing the account for play.

Regards,

Blizzard Entertainment Inc Account Administration Team
P.O. Box 18979, Irvine, CA 92623

Huh. There's one problem with this. I don't have a WoW account.

How could I be trying to sell something I don't own?

I mean, they're welcome to disable my access to the game I've never downloaded, so I can't get into the virtual world I've never entered. Seems awfully recursive, somehow.

But then came this:

From: Blizzard Entertainment
To: me

Hello, thank you for shopping at the Blizzard Store!

StarCraft II®: Wings of Liberty™: 6129523855006794206159153

To use this key to activate the game, simply follow these instructions:
1. Log in to your Battle.n Account - Or Create a Battle.net Account

2. Verify your e-mail address. (If you have previously verified your address, skip this step.) From the main Account Management page, click the 'verify this e-mail address' link. Then, check your e-mail account for a verification e-mail. Click the link in this e-mail to verify your e-mail address.

3. Return to the Battle.net account management page, then click on 'Code Redemption'.

4. Enter the above CDKey in the code field.

5. Once you have successfully redeemed this code, you will be able to play the game.

NOTE: If you have previously chosen to gift your digital purchase, attaching this key to their Battle.net account will prevent you from being able to redeem this key with your Battle.net account.

Order Date: 2010-8-10
Order #: 2573775

(1) StarCraft II®: Wings of Liberty™ - $59.99

Credit Card Number : ****-****-****-9527
Credit Card Type : Vista
Item Subtotal: $59.99
Tax: $0.00
Shipping & Handling: $0.00
Shipping Tax: $0.00
Grand Total: $59.99
===========================================

If you have any questions or concerns about your order, please contact us at:

Phone: Toll-free at (1-800-592-5499)
Website: http://us.blizzard.net/account

Live phone support is available seven days a week, 8:00AM - 8:00PM Pacific Time.

Thanks for shopping with us!
Blizzard Customer Service

Friends and neighbors, I do believe I've been hacked.

But it's an odd hack; I don't recognize the last four numbers of the "Vista" card, so...huh? I did what any responsible netizen would do; I took down the message headers, went to the WoW main site (NOT through any link given in EITHER of these messages!) and reported it to Billing, because they seemed the likeliest culprit of all the other help categories.

My second concern in all of this--people are paying sixty bucks for a pair of wings? A pair. Of wings. A pair. Of wings.

Seriously? Man, I see sixty bucks free, I'm thinking two movies each for three people. Three new hardcover books. Dinner at that posh Moroccan place. Dinner at the not-so-posh-but-better Lebanese place, for more people.

A tattoo.

Come on, guys--WINGS?!? Sixty bucks for WINGS?!? That has to be a joke.

ANGRY FREUDIAN PENIS is now Online.
ANGRY FREUDIAN PENIS: HEY
ANGRY FREUDIAN PENIS: one mo thing
ANGRY FREUDIAN PENIS: Take your shirt off
ANGRY FREUDIAN PENIS is now Offline.

And on THAT note, I think I'm hiding from strange people who email me stranger things.