Friday, July 22, 2011

and there's a need for songs that are sung, for chances not taken, for deeds not yet done

Team Fortress 2 has gone steampunk! Well, at least a little. I have no real idea why, except that it's a promotional tie-in to WETA Workshop's line of ray-guns (using the Dr. Grordbort character, even!) for ComicCon.

Hey, if that works for them...Me, I'd rather have the Righteous Bison in hand rather than its reproduction in game...but I won't lie, getting it for TF2 would be considerably easier than ordering--and paying for--the real thing.

More excerpts from the City of Heroes files.

First up: The Highly Visible Ninja. The Highly Visible Ninja is a level 42 Natural Stalker. His one-line bio, complete:
"Misdirection is one of the key skills of the ninja."
Okay, then. Moving on...

The Water God:. No, really. His bio, for what it's worth:
My eyes have gone black
I'll never look back.
I'll never stop swimming
I'll always be tracked.
My life has transformed
My power has grown.
My minions stretch for leagues
For a bloodied coral throne.
A crown of murdered foes
Will sit on upon my head.
Those that wish to challenge me
Will wish that they were dead.
The beasts of the sea
will collect and submit
Prey for my forgiveness
and live as I permit.
Swim on. . . . . I am The Water God.
He's level 15. Is anyone surprised?

And finally, my favorite: Lu the Bi-Polar Bear, a level 45 Mutation Scrapper. Her avatar was quite winsome, with white hair, white skin, and rounded little teddy-bear ears.

Her bio:
PPD Clinical Case Files: 6 yr old Lulu describes her happiest days as being a featured attraction at the Paragon Zoo. "I loved to ride my unicycle, and wait for them to throw me fish. People would clap and cheer, but I didn't want to eat them, because I got fish!"

A year ago, in a daring move by the Carnival of Shadows, the zoo was held hostage, and people subjected to magical experiments - including Lulu's trainer. Rushing to protect her fish supply, Lulu's DNA merged with her trainers', resulting in permanent mutation.

The trauma of this incident has blocked her memories of the event, nor does she remember subsequently eating a ring mistress, 2 seneschals and an iron man. Currently suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lu suffers from bouts of depression focused on her mutated appearance ("opposible thumbs. WHY?!?"), and extreme anger control issues.

Though I should explain this, more because it's massively amusing in light of Lady Serra, the Seneschelf of Winterfell: there's a high-level villain group in City of Heroes called the Carnival of Shadows. The Seneschals are among the most dreaded--dressed like harlequin acrobats and wearing full-face masks, they carry wrought-iron cage torches and breathe fire.

Fire tends to cut through a lot of heroes, no matter who they are. And the Seneschals have a wide dispersal range for that fire. They can also take a hell of a lot of damage before they go down.

I've been terribly amused whenever I come across them.

Also, ran across some amusing text on the part of the Fir Bolgs that litter Croatoa. While this has no relationship to actual Celtic mythology, they're pretty much walking sticks with pumpkin heads who can detach those heads and throw them as incendiary bombs towards attackers. But sometimes, if you're far enough away, they won't attack. In those times, the most bizarre little interchanges can be heard, like this one, from a cluster of three young Fir Bolgs around a pay phone on a side street:

[NPC] Telephone: Riiiing! Riiiing!
[NPC] Soldier: What magic is this?
[NPC] Soldier: The thing is enchanted.

Or maybe it's just a phone...Poor, poor confused pumpkin-heads.

Can you use shadows and lighting effects? I can't. But because I can't, I don't even really grasp what it's like for those that do. This helps with that. Though shadows are still buggy for many people (and, as said, I can't use shadows or lighting effects at all; in fact, I can't use any "deferred rendering" display features with my current configuration), that gives a very good idea of what it's like to have them employed.

While wearing white.

And being chased by zombies. You're welcome.


Winter said...

You have NO IDEA how meany weapons sandwiches, and whatnot I had to scrap, to build enough refined metal, and then a slot token and a class token, and then I accidentally crafted the wrong slot token, and then I had to take a 1/5 chance to crafting the bazooka I needed, and then had to craft THAT bazooka with even more refined metal into another bazooka, just so I could finally craft THAT into the steampunk shoulder weapon... with, you guessed it, more refined metal.

Emilly Orr said...

Man, that sounds like Hank's quest for the Golden Hammer (about which he is still bitter), which he did not get by crafting everything in his capacious (at that point) inventory down. Just craft and craft and craft and craft and craft to find you need to craft again.

But what do we expect, really? It's an advanced hat simulation game attached to guns.