28 June, 2020

there's something less about her

blackened-soul1

hey man
I don't wanna hear about love no more
I don't wanna talk about how I feel
I don't really wanna be me no more


Me neither.

dress down now I look a little too
boy next door
maybe I should try to find a downtown [wh*re]
that'll make me look hardcore
I need you to tell me what to stand for


I know what I stand for. I just don't know if I want to keep standing.

blackened-soul2

I've been looking for something
something I've never seen
we're all looking for something
something to be


Still looking, sure, but...wary, so wary, now, on the other side of this.

hey man
play another one of those heartbreak songs
tell another story how things go wrong
and they never get back
my pain is a platinum stack
take that [sh*t] back


blackened-soul3

you don't wanna be me when it all goes wrong
you don't wanna see me with the houselights on
I'm a little too headstrong
stand tall
I don't wanna get walked on


Walked on, no. Walked with? Sure. Understood? That may be a reach.

I can't stand what I'm starting to be
I can't stand the people that I'm starting to need


It's less...can't stand, more can't stop getting frustrated by. Less fear of what I'm becoming, more fear of what I'm giving up. Less dislike and more....struggling to cope.

blackened-soul4

there's so much now
that can go wrong
and I don't need nobody


Well. That's inaccurate.

blackened-soul5

trying to help it along
it's the same old song
everybody says you've been away too long
everybody wanna tell you what went wrong
wanna make you like an icon


I've never been a good role model. In any world, I'm the living bad example. I have always been what people look to, to tell them what not to do.

That's not going to change...

blackened-soul6

'til you believe that they're right
I don't wanna hear about love no more
I don't wanna talk about how I feel
I don't really wanna be me no more


Kind of stuck here, though. How does one get away from oneself?

If I find out, I'll let you know.

blackened-soul7

you don't wanna be me when it all goes wrong
you don't wanna see me with the houselights on
I'm a little too headstrong

we're all looking for something
something to be


Who isn't?

blackened-soul8

hey man
play another one of those heartbreak songs...


everybody wanna tell you what went wrong

I don't want to admit that I already know.

wanna make you like an icon

Fat chance of that.

'til you believe that they're right--

blackened-soul9

At least I'm in no danger of that. I'd have to believe I'm a good judge of character to believe other people are right. Especially if they're the ones relying on me. Really, answer's in the question there, innit? Can't rely on the unreliable.

No wonder we're here again.

(Pictures taken at Craigh Na Dun, Fort Stygian, the Junkyard, Silent Town and After the Fall. Song by Rob Thomas, "Something to Be".)

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