spammers and self-reflection

This is impressive, sweeping, and nearly brought me to tears.

"'To thine own self be true.' Not sure how to do that? Make sure your actions back up your words. Manifest yourself through the things you say (no matter who you're saying them to) and the choices you make. Your actions prove your words to be true or false. If you can't be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with anybody else?" (Aisha Zamin)

There's truth in that. Nobody ever said we couldn't lie to ourselves, but we don't have to make it habitual.

Speaking of which...what have we learned from this latest exercise in self-indulgence?

Getting involved with people sucks. No, that's not it.

Trusting people sucks. That's not it, either.

Pretty boys are dangerous. Pish, that goes without saying.

People can be really stupid. Well, who doesn't know that?

I'll let you know when I figure it out. All I know is my gullibility meter is still way up there, and after all this time, it really shouldn't be.

Okay, okay, I might get the headpat thing now.

Meanwhile, in email hilarity...

Hello, I am John White of the U.S Army force

Of course you are. Do go on.

and one of the Commanding officers of the U.S Central Command here in Syria.

Am I wrong? Didn't the US pull out of Syria?

Please I urgently need you to help me safeguard the amount of money I have here in my possession which is worth the sum of eleven million five hundred thousand US Dollars (11.5 Million).

But of course you do. Interestingly, his email account is based off of eircom.net, which is an Irish email service. Running not a bad deal at the moment--thirty Euros a month gets you a full-access email account and hosting for a webpage. Such a deal.

I came across this mega cash while on the operation, as we were on the massive attack against the ISIS terrorist group

*cackles* "The massive attack". Suuuure.

and has made a private investigation and found out the money was left by the runaway terrorists so I decided to keep the money in my possession, but minding how horrible and risky it is here in this military camp, I deemed it necessary to look out for a trusted fellow whom would assist me in safeguarding the cash until I get out of this horrible zone.

Oh, honey. If you're looking for a guy you have come to the wrong place.

It was on this effect that I started search here online for an honest person whom I can trust to help me safeguard the cash and I came across your mail address and I want to know if you are willing to help me do this.

Short answer: no. Longer answer: Hell no, die on fire. But more pertinent, I'm now wondering which company sold a list to spammers that included my email address.

I want you to know that I am willing to offer you 35%-Percent of the total amount if you do help me safeguard this money and get it out of here Syria.

So generous. Gosh, thirty-five percent percent sounds like a lot. Also note "and get it out of here Syria". This is either a non-native English speaker, which with the name "John White" is somewhat surprising, or a spammer who's just really stupid.

I will email you the details on how I plan of moving the cash out of this place as soon as I receive your response

You'll be waiting a very long time.

Please get back to me ASAP

Not a chance in hell.

Thanks,

For nothing,

John White

I'll give him points for not being an African prince, but seriously, dude. Does this ever work on people?