Friday, January 9, 2015

Scenes from a Chat: Random German god complex edition

We have invented a vampire computer. Is this a good thing?

And black holes can...merge? Is this a good thing?

Also, Utah, in a moment of sheer inspiration, has decided to try ending homelessness. The way they've worked around to it--and they're right, by the way--is that it's actually more expensive to have people remain homeless than to give them homes to live in.

Why? A variety of factors, most of them service-sector related. Essentially they boil down to each homeless person on the street costing, at minimum, $20,000 to support. Increased emergency room fees, increased financial outlay for police, emergency service personnel, jails and prisons, plus the increase in crime and drug trafficking has made this alternative both financially, as well as ethically, viable.

So what will each homeless person get? The program is two-fold. First, every homeless person who agrees gets an apartment. Period. Covered by the state for life, it's theirs. Second, every homeless person is assigned a social worker, who will help them get--and hopefully keep--medical insurance, food stamps, and a job. But here's the kicker--even if they turn down the social worker, or they get into these programs and then "wash out"...they still keep the apartment.

That's awesome. Here's to it working, and more programs like this cropping up.

In the meantime, random religious delusion from Neverwinter? We've got that:

[Zone] HeOfThe5Shadows@prawcess405: May your guild have plenty of women who just turned 18
[Zone] Maya@natybr: May the force be with you.
[Zone] Feonix@fe0nix: except when you pray to your Deity
[Zone] Maya@natybr: NO WAY GISELLA
[Zone] N'haala@kaozu666: Demelzer, religion has no place ANYWHERE!
[Zone] Gisella Healforged@sweet5starlight: lol WAY
[Zone] Feonix@fe0nix: Mine being Kelemvor

Kelemvor: definition for those who need it.

[Zone] HeOfThe5Shadows@prawcess405: River: I love you.
[Zone] ShadowBlade@ilikepcgame: guys
[Zone] Demelzer@dixko: TRUE
[Zone] ShadowBlade@ilikepcgame: im gonna start a new class
[Zone] Ruqayya@atefeh: why do athiests have to rage on the believers?

Depends on the atheist, really. If they're young, aggressive, male, and generally full of white privilege, it's because they're feeling oppressed. And, because they're really not used to the feeling, they rage against those who they believe are the main cause: namely, anyone who isn't a young, aggressive, white male atheist. (See countless examples here.)

[Zone] ShadowBlade@ilikepcgame: and idk which class
[Zone] Lord Slane@lordslane: religion of neverwinter you mean

It would be nice, but chances are high it's not what they mean.

[Zone] ShadowBlade@ilikepcgame: any suggestions?
[Zone] Lord Slane@lordslane: :)
[Zone] Mialee Elizibith@mizorelegneds: hunter
[Zone] River@heartofblackdawn: O.o
[Zone] ShadowBlade@ilikepcgame: hunter?
[Zone] ShadowBlade@ilikepcgame: hmmm
[Zone] VelocSaur@velocsaur: Wait for the new one? I don't know :c

This is the first really 'dating' comment for this chat; I captured this some months back, sometime in 2013, in fact, just after the Hunter/Ranger class launched for the game.

[Zone] HeOfThe5Shadows@prawcess405: I would choose the Gangster Crip class

For a D&D-based fantasy game. No, really?

[Zone] Artanos Barbaros@jenkwise: What Religion does say, since it is everywhere, is that there is indeed SOMEONE who is alot bigger than we are, than we can ever imagine.
[Zone] HammerTime@herculesmybaby: Hi, I'd like to ask if anyone would like to get in a group and make a Guild. You can leave right after it's made, please please pm me.

So, welcome to Celeste's little delusional world. This was our first taste, and it involves all-caps typing, and (later) a substantial amount of German. I'll translate what makes sense, but not all of it does.

[Zone] Erik Hawklight@JosyWales2: We have all your base,
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: i wonder if i can sell this everlasting scroll
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: ITS NORMAL
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: IHR AFFEN
{{Translation: "Your monkey"}}

Uh...that doesn't make any sense.

[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: wohoo
[Zone] Athena@orihime217: The Infernal Kittens are now recruiting Elite PvP/Casual Dungeoneers!PM me for more info/inv
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: DRECKSMULTIKULTI WIXXE
{{Google Translate had nooooo clue}}
[Zone] Will@blazering3333: Some1 can told me how to make my own foundry quest please?
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: DAS KOMMT DABEI RAUS
{{Translation: "This is what comes out"}}
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: im holding out for Lesbian Mutant Kitten Squad guild

Well, who wouldn't? They're all the rage.

[Zone] Samaris@samaris76: err just hit 60, where are gnarlroot caves?
[Zone] Kithkin@giaxathriths: Forums have tutorials
[Zone] Will@blazering3333: Forum explain false.
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: mind blow
[Zone] Philoli@philoli: is there anything such as a plvl?

Depends. What's a "plvl"?

[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: ENGLISHE WIXXE {{Translation: "English"...something, no one knows what 'Wixxe' is}}
[Zone] Yellow Submarine@gardenpots: There is no way someone could tell you, over chat, how to make a foundry quest.
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: yes
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: SUPER INSHALA
{{Translation: failed, save by adding "eta" between SUPER and INSHALA}}
[Zone] Yatogami@rairokken: LOL
[Zone] Will@blazering3333: Are you ^(*#!%$;@?
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: pffff. well this is only slightly less boring than pounding out the last three days of dread ring for my cleric artifact.
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: are you asain?

Depends. Define "asain".

[Zone] Ber'zerka@Melzerith: only on off days Will :P
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: HALT DIE FRESSE
{{Translation: "Shut"...then 'fresse' again, so...did Celeste mean 'Shut your mouth', or am I just running with what sounds most plausible?}}
[Zone] Will@blazering3333: Moron
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: asain enough

Still confused by what that is.

[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: DAS IST DEUTSCH {{Translation: "This is German", which is actually pretty obvious}}
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: yup, hes asain

Oh, I understand now, unfortunately. You mean "Asian", and nope, you're an idiot. Celeste is German, or is at least yelling at the chat in German for inexplicable reasons.

[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: DU )*^)^) {{Translation: "The", followed by what Google Image search seemed to think was a punch in the nose? Maybe?}}
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: i use sorochi

Sorochi? Do you mean Sriracha??

[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: and fish sauce
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: if yr asain let me ask you

"ASIAN". Say it with me.

[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: i know what curry is
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: GERMANY

Yes, we know, Celeste. Hush, the grown-ups are speaking.

[Zone] Yellow Submarine@gardenpots: Fish sauce is freaking addictive, no matter WHAT your nationality or origin of birth. ^^
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: can i have sum chicken with my manicure?
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: WAT ELSE
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: all comes out ur butt
[Zone] Holyazash@unholyazash: guild
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: KLINSAN DIE
{{Translation: "The Klinsan"...whatever that means}}
[Zone] Alhemustrus@trekspeed14: Hey everyone
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: CEELO
{{Translation: Google Translate suggested "Ceeli", which is...less than helpful}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: LE CERY {{Translation: "The skin", which is...also less than helpful}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: LA GUINE {{Translation: "The Guinea", and...Google Translate, are you high?}}
[Zone] Blue@fieminamor: he isn't tall
[Zone] Athena@orihime217: lol
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: IM UNIVERSAL SOLDIR
{{Translation: "The Universal Soldier". ???}}
[Zone] Alhemustrus@trekspeed14: I quit

Right there with you. Celeste is clearly in an altered state.

[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: hi ist jemand aus deutschland da {{Translation: "hi is there anyone in Germany"}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: I KNOW EVRYTHING

You are clearly intoxicated and/or impaired functionally, Celeste, so, no, you do not.

[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: Zibi hash, basa ahna jundi!! {{Translation: "Zibi hash, scalp and jundi". No help}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: U FOOLS
[Zone] xTlumbax@tlumba650: anyone know what sells on the auction that u can get alot of diomands for and get the item quick?
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: spell check for gemans must be hard pressed

That's assuming Celeste is bothering to engage spellcheck.

[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: how can i chance the servers...i will chance to the german server

I think you mean "change", Aisha, and you can't at this point.

[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: IM UR GOOD
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: SAY YEA'

[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: gud
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: destroyed by capslock
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: est gibt nur ein server
{{Translation: "there is only one server". Which is true, these days.}}
[Zone] Babyboo@amethyst4974: is anyone else having lag issues?
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: ill good u
[Zone] Perath Oolasaadi@EmillyOrr: Y'know, Celeste, you're just not making much sense.
[Zone] xTlumbax@tlumba650: whats good u mean?
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: IM A PECEFULL GOOD HAHA

A "good" who can't spell, either.

[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: tanzen den Tanz des Lebens {{Translation: "dance the dance of life"}}
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: Celeste you on bath salts bro?
[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: aso...das ist aber doof...wie kann ich mich als deutscher zurecht finden
{{Translation: "aso ... this is stupid but ... how can I find me as German dogs"}}

And I got nothin' for you, Aisha, as answer to that question.

[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: i pee salts
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: I KNOW ALL
[Zone] Perath Oolasaadi@EmillyOrr: "Peaceful". "God". Is what I think you mean.
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: yup
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: EVRYTHING
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: ALL
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: weiss nicht. ich bin Englisch.
{{Translation: "do not know. I am English".}}
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: totally
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: dont miss xD
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: nein, sei
{{Translation: "no, is". Also less than helpful.}}
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: aber es gibt deutsche hier {{Translation: "but there are German here"}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: MANCHMAL {{Translation: "Sometimes"}}
[Zone] Spanshi@elspanish: SPANSHI
[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: kann mir jemand vill bissl unter die arme greifen und mir bissl das spiel beibringen...pls^^
{{Translation, near as Google Translate can manage: "can someone grab me bissl vill among the poor and bissl teach me how to play (pls)"}}
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: ich habe google auch Arschlöcher! {Translation: "I google and a**holes"}}
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: too much?


[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: pebbles, tsk tsk. naughty german.
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: AMIS ARE GOOD
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: nos dancar a danca da vida!!
{{Translation: "dance in the dance of life!!"}}
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: hold on ill google my german accent
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: i took one year of german like 10 years ago.
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: I LOVE AMIS
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: ur from the coast...
[Zone] Zecora@rainbowcrash912: LF guild
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: too soon?

Dunno. What did that mean?

[Zone] Jazsmyni Ogrkil@frostwyrm2: Is the Garden Key for your entire account??
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: AND ILOVE PUTIN

Nobody cares, Celeste. And no, Jazsmyni, the Garden Key is only for the single character that got the Garden Key.

[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: i love puttin too
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: ITS GOOD PRESIDENT
[Zone] Pebbles@langtime: i love puttin my !*%# in ur mammas (&#%*

And on that note, I ignored Pebbles.

[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: LoL
[Zone] Pleasure@hotsie: yes key is acct bound
[Zone] Mara Shadowskiss@damnataanimus: not like you actually need weapons at that level..
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: nope
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: you dont really need weapons at all to level.
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: BUT MY LEDER IS #))#^! WA
[Zone] Bain Duskwalker@slick3152: Obama to Putin: YOU NEED TO LEAVE UKRAINE? Putin to Obozo: It's not Ukraine its MYKRAINE! Huehuehue

Obozo?? Right, you've lost your mind, too, Bain.

[Zone] Safadinha@orlandoharper: HODOR!
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: my cleric leveled 11-60 on leadership alone.
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: HÄTT SICH AUCH GEFREUT
{{Translation: "Had also happy". What??}}
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: o5amacare

I'm sure you think that's funny, but it doesn't make any more sense than anything else.

[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: IN DEM VÖLERBREI {{Translation: "In the Volerbrei", help}}
[Zone] Bain Duskwalker@slick3152: Osama Bin Laden = Obama Bin Lying

And that's when I blocked Bain. I was running low on patience.

[Zone] Blue@fieminamor: Don't forget invoke experience.
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: and invoke, i suppose
[Zone] Sobegodly@nastyhabits: bain that woulda been funny back when he was relevant
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: on the prayer
[Zone] Blue@fieminamor: You prayed for coal?
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: HEIL *(%%$# IHR VERKOMMENEN ^!)^#(
{{Literally what Google Translate handed me on the return: "HEALING * ( # $ %% ^ YOUR depraved !) ^ # ("}}
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: i did. and unlike in real life, my prayer was answered
[Zone] Exorcist@keyboardchemstry: obamacare happened after osama been dead. what do we have now? osamacare thats what! cuz he really care!

You can join the blocklist, too. Casual racism in a fantasy game is unappreciated.

[Zone] Urthadar@mrolson1: wow radiant rank 6 are like 30k now?
[Zone] Cool Cucumber@gigglesgaggles: thanks, much appreciated (:
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: YES HE CAN
[Zone] KoraL@railak: what can you get from the neverwinter gardens?
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: everything seems to be up about 20%
[Zone] Perath Oolasaadi@EmillyOrr: A pretty place to relax, travel elsewhere, and pray, basically.
[Zone] Urthadar@mrolson1: yea it does
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: i dont remember too much *%$## smell when i was in Aachen


[Zone] I Am That I Am@grunan: its got all the stuff in one central location. salvage, ah, merchant, a portal to every where. a prayer ring.
[Zone] Delaredia@delaredia: lots and lots of hookers though. some of them smelled of various odors.

Tempted to ignore Delaredia, too...

[Zone] Dinkie@Woofdang: Any new players or even old players looking for a nice guild to joing with nice folks? Msg me and I can send an invite to Shadow Legion.
[Zone] Pinkrabbits@pinkrabbits99: lol
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: ICH FOCK EUCH ALLE
{{Translation: "I FOCK YOU ALL"}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: SCHENKT IHR MIR Was ja {{And again, what Google Translate handed me, word for word: "GIVES IT TO ME What yes"}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: ALSO
[Zone] Casper@mushmyster6869: lol
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: MACH ICH DAS AUCH
{{Translation: "Mach am the also"??}}
[Zone] J'alaran De'Vyne@jalibear69: well *(%% ..... *sigh* it keeps telling me to return to instance .... *scratch her head*
{{Translation: "Even if you are ne DÖLMERTRUPPE", which...means what, exactly?}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: ICH SCHENKE EUCH NE MILLE {{Translation: I give you ne mille" which...again, means what, exactly?}}
[Zone] Rumina Play@aphofes58: hi
[Zone] I Am That I Am@grunan: why is there only one person speaking in caps german? not like you are talking to someone else.
[Zone] Rumina Play@aphofes58: jemand deutschsprachiges on?
{{Translation: "someone speaking German on?" And, well, sort of.}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: DAMIT IHR NOCH DÜMMER WERDET {{Translation: "That you will stupider"}}
[Zone] Theta@taboransky: me?
[Zone] Theta@taboransky: Help with what? :~
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: ALS BEKIHNUNG
{{Google Translate just flailed on this one}}
[Zone] Celeste@biernot78: REWARD
[Zone] Rumina Play@aphofes58: keiner?
{{Translation: "no"}}
[Zone] J'alaran De'Vyne@jalibear69: *$) it keeps telling me to return to the instance ... I don't get it
[Zone] Theta@taboransky: Hmm, I guess not.. for now
[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: doch
{{Translation: "yet"}}
[Zone] Theta@taboransky: but thank you
[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: ich
{{Translation: "I"}}
[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: hier deutsch {{Translation: "German here", so..."yet I am German" for the whole phrase?}}
[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: wie kann man denn flüstern {{Translation: "how can you whisper because"}}
[Zone] Theta@taboransky: hahaha I see
[Zone] Theta@taboransky: I'm going with her. See ya :)
[Zone] Tifa@xcr3am: HEU
{{Translation: "You"}}
[Zone] Tifa@xcr3am: what lvl of gems i need for that color
[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: bin auch erst seit ner halben stunde on
{{Translation: "am also only been half an hour on"}}
[Zone] Tifa@xcr3am: hey
[Zone] Tifa@xcr3am: question
[Zone] Aisha@elmalidere23: brauche selber hilfeee
{{Translation: "need itself Hilfeee", which again, unhelpful}}
[Zone] Tifa@xcr3am: what lvl of gems i need
[Zone] Tifa@xcr3am: for that color

No one knows, Tifa. NO ONE KNOWS.

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