Monday, May 28, 2012

down through the fields and their frozen rows

Friend of mine tipped me to this offering on the Marketplace. You have to be signed in and Adult-rated to see it, but I'll do my best to capture why I've been giggling over this.

(from the bizarre album)

This is Havenbot's sole offering. It's not available now; one can only assume the "limited quantity" of this item...to wit, this one guy...sold.

And this is properly filed under the "services" category; I'll give them that. But, in this instance, it's the side text that's collapsing me.
Use It Now
This item will be delivered directly to you or a friend in Second Life, unpacked and ready to use. No land or sandbox required.
Personally, I'd think that would be false advertising. You will not be delivered the slave, unpacked (hee) and ready to use (HEE), no land or sandbox required (BWAHAHAHAHA). Instead, you'll just receive the slave's Second Life name, so you'll have to IM them yourself.

How would that conversation go? "Um, hi, I just bought you on the Marketplace." Well, actually, that's probably a good starting place. I mean, one would assume from the product text that this individual knows why they're for sale...
Restrictions are stated in the notecard.
This is also good to know. But it might have been better to go over those on the listing--after all, I'd assume under "Adult services", Adult-rated description is allowed...And seriously, what if you plunk down your ten grand and the slave won't do something you really, really want them to do? What then?

The other standard thing in the sidebar also collapsed me:
Permissions: Copy Modify Transfer
User Licensed
See product details for permissions info
BWAHAHAHAHA....Save that there are no permissions listed in the product info. Also, the 'standard' permissions in the sidebar get odd when applied to people. "No copy"--well, sure, you're only getting the one. "No modify"...so, can't cut the hair, brand or burn, remove limbs, that's on the obvious side. What about flogging? Or bruising? Would a bruise count as a modification?

And the "no transfer" on the end is also amusing--so, after your five hours are up, you can't transfer the slave to someone else. Because hey, that just wouldn't be fair.

So what else is in the "Services" category? Well, things like this:

(from the bizarre album)

For which they want L$2,100, only you're not supposed to buy it. Then why is it on the Marketplace? What the hell?

In other Marketplace news: well, it's still broken. Though they say they're working on it. But that's not what I really wanted to bring up. I wanted to bring up this: namely, that for the low, low price of L$1.26 per prim, you can park a huge I-LOVE-YOU thing--in silver and red, natch--to park on your beloved's land.

It even has a cape. What a fancy, fancy declaration of cheap love.

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