from a million miles away, a little miracle will come to take you home

Slowly, surely, with little steps...she makes her place in the world.



I'm on the box! As a--and this is still making me giggle--"Bare Rose Princess". Hee! And gosh.



And this is the full outfit. The short skirt is really more thin panels and threads, but it's also nice, but this one...okay, there are some problems, mainly in that since the entire lower skirt is black lace panels, there are alpha battles. But they're not as noticeable as they are with hair, so that's just fine. And yes, if you're having problems with sculpted objects loading in--as I do on occasion--the bonnet looks odd until it loads in.

Other than that? I'm in love with this one. Tatters of lace, black tartan, skulls, the bonnet...it's just quirky, fun and wonderful.

Yay for Bare Rose! And yay for June Dion!

This is going to make me giggle for quite a long time.

what's left when the locks have all been broken

Oddity--I've been mentioned again, this time in Australia. It's very odd. I don't remember giving an interview to any Australian publications...but reading through that little paragraph or so, it souonds like a reprint of the English article I did give an interview for.

Oddly? My boss at Dorian Gray's mentioned it to me. Apparently a patron wandered in off the street and told him she'd read about the club in the Australian Cosmo, and he had to send me word. He's asking her if she'll scan the pages in and send them to him. He's quite excited I actually mentioned the club.

Of course I mentioned the club. I work there, it's important. Apparently he's not used to that...

In other news, I have a month to turn the Taiyou around. If I fail, the dream is over, the Taiyou vanishes, replaced by merchants or whatever else the sim needs. Strangely, I'm less emotionally connected to this after the events of yesterday. It's not that I don't want the Taiyou to succeed; I do. I think it could be a valued part of the sim, I think it could be wonderful, I think I haven't paid enough attention to it and I should be paying more.

And I'm going to do everything I can to make it successful. I'm pinning my hopes on next Saturday, getting everything up and running, though I still need to check the Caledonian calendar, make sure there's not another event planned opposite.

But I'm not putting my heart on the line anymore. If it fails, I'll accept it, and move on. It's not as if I haven't been pulling back from Steelhead anyway, what with everything. If Taiyou leaves, it will be a loss, but it will be a loss I can bear. I'll still go to dances, I'll still help out if needed, but I won't be in town every single day, I won't have need to be. And I'm not offering to run anything else.

Maybe that will help. I don't know. All I know is...we have a month, from now. We'll see what happens. And I learn as much from failing as I do from success, so it will be a learning experience either way.

Moving on from that...I wish I'd been able to get pictures of this, but I could barely move let alone spin the cam around the dance floor. Last night the two-day anniversary celebration June Dion threw to ring in Bare Rose's second year on the grid ended with an EGL dance in Black Cat. You have never seen so much lace, black silk, and hair ribbons in one place in your life, I promise you. At the height of the dance, there were seventy-five people in the sim, and the sim did not crash. No one could move, half of everyone was grey, but gods, we had fun.

Over eighty females entered the costume contest. It would have been a five hundred Linden cash prize, plus the right to name a new dress that Miss Dion had designed specifically for the event. Five of us won. We each received a hundred Linden, and then the debate was on--who names the outfit? Now what?

We still don't know. But this is what I do know--after the event ended, friends and I ended up gathering back at the main stage at Bare Rose, idly talking, still buzzing from the event. I had changed from the full-on Hana Lolita dress, black silk and froufy crinolines and striped stockings, to a Draconic Kiss white petticoat dress, simple and unornamented. Miss Dion wandered back to the sim, and then messaged me, asking if I had time to be photographed. I said yes.

She left, and called me to White Wolf, told me to pick out one of four outfits. I was fascinated by Stheno, a sort of post-punk Victorian West outfit, complete with tattered black tartan skirts and black lace bonnet. She told me to jump on a pose stand, make sure everything looked right, asked me to wear the bonnet--and it's quite fun, it truly is--and then took me down to her studio.

I'm always fascinated by seeing where designers actually work. Miss Dion's workspace--at least, the photograph studio--is clean and uncluttered, composed of bare woods and several open-ended boxes, each painted a simple base tone. I stood in the pale grey box, she took a few images, and then told me to check back in a few hours, when she puts out the outfit for sale.

I can't wait. It's been an unconfessed dream of mine to be a Bare Rose model, and I've been tempted to ask more than once. Now, if it never happens again--at least I'm somewhere in the great complex. Whee!

I'll have to go to the store later on, and see how the box ended up looking. I'm thrilled with this. This is very nearly better than naming the outfit!

(Find an interview with Miss Dion here, the blog of another Bare Rose designer here.)

she'll scream and try to run, but there's no place she can hide

(As always, click the small images for larger ones...)

The Elder Gods are seen in Tanglewood! Run! Run for your miserable LIIIIVES!



We must propitiate them by sacrifices!



And by dancing in the ways our people now only dimly remember, ways that make our very souls writhe in terror!



I know that it was dark...then it was light...the orange clouds tormented me, I cowered before their strange coloration...



This was just before the fellow in the dark suit pounced me and threw me to the ground! The Elder Gods whispered in his head, I know it!

I thrashed my tentacles to little avail, I was trapped!



Thankfully, he was soon distracted by the radiant terror in orange, creeping behind him. Amazing that something of that mass can be so stealthy.



It was also good that then, the unnatural surge of daylight left my eyen, for I would have been driven QUITE MAD had I seen this apparition in the full unwavering light of day!



We danced frantically, desperation in our hearts, for the dread presence spinning dire notes into the shrieking air would not release us!



I managed to take only one image of the DJ out of space before my courage failed utterly and I swooned to the ground!



The night dripped with febrile horrors, too loathsome to be borne! I felt my sanity begin to leave me!



The evil presence crept nearer! I had to stifle my hysterical screams! I saw...ngaa..nyar...the HORROR! THE UNSPEAKABLE! TOO TERRIFYING TO BE BORNE! I...I...AAAAAAGH!!!



All in all, we had a grand time. You should have been there. Edward spun the most bleak of playlists, and the attendants were a who's who of the morbid and quirky on the grid...which means I happily know most of them.

*grins*

It's true, I don't remember all the names, I wish I did. Professor Avalanche was the great glowing thing, Mr. Puck Goodliffe, I believe, was the wee Chibithulhu, Hotspur O'Tentacle...errr, I mean, O'Toole was the dread Cthulhu himself.

I'm hoping others will fill in the rest of the details, because I kept crashing and losing images!

Plus, the place was packed, it's amazing we were able to move at all!

Oh, and Miss Darkling Elytis was in the straitjacket. Muahahaha....

how long can you be agile, dancing between the altar and the mercy seat?

In the wee hours of the morning, the call went out: a scavenger hunt for the faithful of Bare Rose, in Tokyo. June Dion, the designer behind Bare Rose, declared the 17th and 18th to be the anniversary--second year anniversary!--of Bare Rose as a business. So she's been throwing grand balls, concerts, costumed events--and the scavenger hunt.

This one was an interesting premise. Based upon a Japanese mythological tale, apparently, that a scarlet thread connects all lives, entwining them together by fate...her scavengers were sent out around both of her sims, to look high and low for floating red threads. None were underwater; none were hovering in midair. Everything else was fair game.

Along the way, though, I kept getting distracted by how unique Bare Rose is, as a build.



Under the stalls, below the platform.



Another version of the same figure, this one found just off the main stage.



Huge monolithic stone cross, near the stalls, anchored with heavy ships' chain.



The (playable?) organ inside the Black Cat Club.



Another version of the giant stone cross, this one formed of giant carved toruses.



A cascading fountain in the southwest corner of the Black Cat sim. Note the abundant greenery.



Carved stone gryphon, this one clutching one of the red yarn fragments in its beak.



Finally, what I won for completing the scavenger hunt--a scarlet version of Brand New Heaven, a flowing, truly gorgeous fantasy outfit.

Note the strong and unwavering presence of Engrish on the placard.

All in all, challenging to find all ten segments, she put together a very smart hunt. Lag was insanely high, adding to the terror. I had on no prim items save for hair (I just couldn't bear non-prim hair!), but that was only 53 prim. Everything else was Linden layers, I detached nearly all gadgets I owned, and still lagged out.

Still. Very worthwhile. I was impressed. And awed by the build.

I've flown across the galaxies and been to Berkeley Square

Okay, I have no actual blog-related confirmation of this, I'm hoping to get some soon.

But those in the know are telling me orbiting no longer works on the grid.

Can anyone confirm the truth of this? As of yet, I don't know if it's an unfounded rumor, but someone who's said they've tried it says all their anti-griefing gadgets no longer perform as expected. There is now zero push possible on no-push lands.

Anyone? Let me know, I'm curious. And mildly concerned...

out of nowhere comes a strange and pretty sound

Last night, tragedy struck. Over and over, it seems like. I wasn't there, but I've heard the stories.

Seems the Powers that Linden were having a problem with their voice channel. Gosh, I'm...completely surprised...by hearing this. No, really.

*blinks to show her great surprise*

Not only that, but in a sim that rarely has crashing problems anymore--Steelhead, that is--it crashed--or at least something in it caused a total redmapping failure for all within it--at least three times, maybe many more. Sheriff Fuzzball Ortega was there for the whole thing, and was heard to curse quite volubly about the inconstancy of the Lindens, and their relative value. To incredibly valueless things.

It's sad, we've come to this. Few people want voice. People are leaving the grid, fed up with the inconstancy, the impermanence, the unreliable nature of life in world. Soon there will be ghost towns and then what will the grid do?

I don't want the grid to fail. You'd think the Powers that Linden wouldn't want it to fail, either...

Vote here if you wish a certain voice-related bug to be resolved. Mr. Lunar Eclipse's photographic response to the happenings can be seen here. And you can find Sheriff Ortega's rant on the topic here.

when the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away

It's been a very, very odd week. My artist is among the missing; she's killed all aether transmissions, and I'm no longer a Muse. I lost the gig live modeling. I thought I lost the gig dancing, but...apparently not, and my biggest complaint about working there--okay, the particles? Also bad, but namely, the fact that one business needs six groups to maintain it, and I have to be in five of them, apparently, just to dance--may be ending soon, when the owner reconstructs the groups he actually needs.

Building last night: impossible. Changing clothes: impossible. Moving, on occasion: IMPOSSIBLE. Limbo is starting to look attractive, people--how is this a good thing?!?

It's beyond frustrating--I'm in process of building a temple, and if I can't even put two prims together and expect them to behave, there's no future in the grid. How deeply did the Lindens manage to break it this time? And when's the next time they're going to not-fix-it further??

you go your way, I go mine, but I'll see you next time

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
(Sonnet CXVI, Shakespeare)

Pretty words, aren't they? Pretty sentiments. They sound true, they sound like always and forever and until the end of time. Purity of emotion; it feels like this.

But what do they really mean. in our real lives? How do these pretty words help?

I've been asked more than once why my ex-loves are still on my roster of friends. If there's no hope, if there's no going back, why can't I walk away? Why do I still interact with them?

Well, part of it is simple courtesy, politeness, civil behavior. Unless we parted with great acrimony--and even my tragedies did not deal me the death of all love--I don't see strong reason to be uncivil, impolite.

But more...I've mentioned here before, it's very difficult for me to unlove. Once I give my heart, I have great problems taking it back. Even once it's returned to me, some small part of me, for more time than is usually good for me...is still there, still resonates to the call of their name across the square, still rings with the echo of their presence.

Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic in this sense. Love doesn't die for me. It withers slowly through inattention, it atrophies, it staggers through attrition and denial. But that facile turning away from the once-loved, the shrugging off of affection I see so many around me perform with such ease...I can't do it. I don't know why. It's just not in me.

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

But it is. It is shaken, it is storm-tossed in the winds. Love turns to pain, love turns to grieving, love turns to that slow ache, that little thorn-prick, low on the threshhold of consciousness, that makes us turn, makes us reflect, on love lost, love gained, love released.

Mayhap, I would be happier if I fell in love easily, fell out of it as easily, lighthearted about every affair of my heart. But love goes deep with me, each love changes me, each love marks me.

And the marks take a very long time, indeed, to fade. If they ever do.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

It's not false, what the Bard says. But it's not always absolute truth. Love can die if killed. Love can leave if there's no hope. Love can wither, unattended, and love can drown, stranded far from any shore.

It's truth, as far as it goes. It just doesn't apply to every situation. Because love is more complicated than those pretty words, lived day to day in a life. Love is the many-splintered thing, and it will always have thorns on all the roses.

At least mine does. Maybe everyone else...is different.

In other news...I may have set a new record on the grid for fastest job gained and lost. The two designers have parted, and the one that's a personal friend wants me to come with her. We'll see how it goes...

the voices in my head say I shouldn't kill you yet

The Powers that Linden have further explained the anti-gambling policy. Basically, under those various explanations, virtually all reasons for my continuing to dance at my current club are null. My club still wants me there, but I cannot, at this point:

* rely on 'high tippers' flush from casino winnings to come in and tip enough for rent;
* play the Sploder to supplement tips on those nights when they're on the meager side (and this is far from infrequent);
* rely on costume contests and the like to pay me enough to subsist on, because employees cannot enter these contests.

And let's not forget, on top of everything else, I cannot seem to manage to:
* stay in the club when heavy particle bursts are being used.

Bah.

In other news, I started a new job.



This is me in J.M. Virgin's, in Aurora Quays. Actually, it's a split boutique, one side of the shop is for the work of one designer, the other is for the work of a second, just starting out--that side's called Gallacher's.

I work as a live model for both designers, in the shop, and I started today.



After two hours of this, I'm profoundly tired of standing in place, watching the dolphin flip over my shoulder. Not every way to gain money in the world is thrilling, I suppose. Also, neither designer is much for vintage wear.

On the other hand, fully half my wardrobe, maybe even fully two-thirds of it, is not vintage wear, because most of what I've been paid to do, here, puts me in decidedly non-vintage settings.

At some point, Jasmine Marquez, the owner and designer behind J.M. Virgin's, plans on releasing skins, shoes, and stockings, to go with her dresses, casual wear, prim eyelashes and shapes. She's also working on hair. So instead of coming into work today, as I have, in a skin from X2, a shape from Awesome Designs, freebie stockings, eyes from Pixeldolls, shoes from the talented Damen Gorilla at Adam & Eve, and hair from Bewitched...

...it'll all be either Gallacher designs (the dress I'm wearing in the pictures) or J.M. Virgin designs, plus Marquez-designed skins, eyes, hair, shoes, stockings...the works.

We'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I have this outfit in red, and this outfit in blue.

*laughs*

((Oh, in other news still...and Lady Amber, you'll most definitely resonate with this...the computer that connects me to the world? Is kaput. There is a C1 memory fault which has crippled either the 128s, or the 64s, we can't figure out which pair--if it's not both. So I may be in limbo more than I like, which...is not going to be good for me.

((Where does that put the new job? Got me...))

the front of your dress all shadowy lined

The grid has been a strange and unsettling place, of late, but over the past few days, in between repatterning and retinting outfits, I had a chance to take some photographs of Lord Bardhaven's most thoughtful gift.

This has become thoughtful in two ways, though, and now I must also bring up Miss hyasynth Tiramisu.

First, I gained one of Miss Tiramisu's limited edition mushroom-hunt gowns. It came packed in a nearly glowing fuchsia mushroom, spiraled and shining, and I didn't have time the first night I received it to unpack it. Also, I was somewhat afraid of losing it entirely--there was a ban at that point against rezzing out any item that was non-copyable.

I should remember, what you fear, you draw close to you.

The bug struck, removing thirty items--many of them mine, as in, furniture and attire I'd created--as well as, yes, the cherry dress from Silent Sparrow, Miss Tiramisu's store (for those who don't know the name from Lord Bardhaven's writings. In a panic--and at a very late hour!--I made bold to write Miss Tiramisu, explaining the tragic circumstance in a notecard, and asking for her indulgence in perhaps sending another copy.

She was affable, courteous, polite to a fault and quite amused. She said it had been happening all week--one poor damsel lost three mushrooms in one night! She asked for specific details on the dress box's name, I gave her what I remembered, and within moments, I had a new mushroom. Which I promptly rezzed out and unpacked, not to risk losing it again!

It was again, some few days, but finally, I had free time and could try it on.



It's very Alice in Wonderland, in a sense, the Red Queen on the Adelphi Stage, sort of affair. Fabulous details, and as expected, a variety of mix and match options to suit everyone.



I truly think Miss Tiramisu, along with Miss Nephilaine Protagonist (the designer behind Pixeldolls) are the two best creators on the grid for the terribly intricate detail, the small yet necessary motif. Clicking all of these images will bring up larger versions, and looking at it up close as I'm wearing it is just dizzying.



I'm very pleased to have received this, and honored to be Lord Bardhaven's five hundredth comment in his blog. I also thank Miss Tiramisu for her understanding and compassion, and her willingness to help. Without their kind assistance, I wouldn't have this lovely gown to show off...I mean display...I mean...

...hmm, when's the next ballroom dance? This might just be appropriate...

you know that if you live like, you will die like

Normally, in this journal--save for dances in Steelhead and Caledon, and particular events in similar vein--I don't use real names. Granted, my sense of anonymizing verges on the absurd and transparent--still, it's my choice, and generally, I try to hold to it.

This is an exception to my personal guidelines.

Having spoken at length on many topics with Major Erasmus Margulis, we have come to the conclusion that there simply isn't enough personal verification of any potential wrongdoing for me to continue to hold any grievance against his cousin, Miss Lavendar Beaumont.

I am therefore retracting my considered, but perhaps nonetheless ill-chosen words, to and about Miss Beaumont in recent blogs.

I forthwith apologize for any harm my participation in this incident may have dealt her. I should remember, very few are like me, and view controversy as a desired thing.

My thanks to anyone wandering by for your understanding. We now return you to your train wreck in progress.