Thursday, January 12, 2012

they can't turn off my feelings like they're turning off the light

[Help] Grimdark Goregush: Hey! I'm Grimdark Goregush; you might remember me from that time I punched Back Alley Brawler in the temple!
[Help] Grimdark Goregush: As you may know, my motto in life is "rip and tear," but what does that mean to you?
[Help] Grimdark Goregush: Here at Goregush Incorporated, we're here for YOU!
[Help] Grimdark Goregush: We offer training lessons, self help groups, addictions anonymous, and full-contact sports to ease your pain so you can get back to work being evil!
[Help] Darkwater Bloom turns the dial on the help channel, because it's mysteriously become an infomercial


This was perplexing when it occurred earlier, and I was in the middle of killing Wyvern agents to prevent something from happening somewhere else...and frankly, I just didn't want to hear it.

[Help] Grimdark Goregush: And in other news, Grimdark Goregush's signature attack, "Guts and Glory," yet again is seen in a suburban neighborhood. Survivors have yet to be identified.
[Help] BFB 2000: oj and i thought it had turned into Barrens chat
[Help] Maratus: Grimdark doesn't sleep, he waits.
[Help] Duncan Disorderly: Not nearly enough immature skill puns and Chuck Norris jokes for that.
[Help] Knightmare Moon: Grimdark Goregush has two speeds. Walk, and kill.
[Help] Darkwater Bloom: I thought the two speeds were brag, and boast.


Maybe it was just me, but I was in no mood to listen to some internet-enabled yahoo spout praise on a character named "Goregush", of all things.

[Help] Grimdark Goregush: Hey! Are you a nerd?! Do people pick on your because they have self-esteem issues and the only way they can comfort themselves is by lessening the pulic opinion of you to take focus off themselves?
[Help] Grimdark Goregush: Well now YOU CAN TOO! Introducing, the Goregush Gutspiller! Next time your antagonizer grabs you by the collar, grab him by the abdomen with the three-pronged hook! Then with one quick motion, his intestines will spill out onto the floor for all to see
[Help] Grimdark Goregush: Ha, ha! Your organs are a different color! That means they're DIFFERENT! And DIFFERENT translates to BAD!


It was annoying, in a short word.

[Help] Sandolphan: Oh wow COOL! You have awesome organs! Not like that NERD over there with the organs all inside him! HAHAHAHA
[Help] Grimdark Goregush: Don't be a wimp! Don't be a nerd! Buy the Goregush Gutripper and recieve a FREE keychain/bottle opener/guitar tuner/cigar cutter!
[Help] Eldritch Sorceress: Nerds!!!!
[Help] Eldritch Sorceress: Fear ogre.
[Help] Xois.: Fun for the whole Family! Even get grammy in on the fun!
[Help] Upgrade Project: Or, youcould take the quick and dirty route and just buy a sawed-off double-barrel with Dragon's Breath rounds and call it a day.


Always a good option.

[Help] Upgrade Project: 30 minutes in a store, or several months in a dojo. Your choice.
[Help] Upgrade Project: Plus, you don't have to wear pajamas all the time.
[Help] Just Another Catgirl: I like wearing pajamas though, at least when I'm wearing anything at all.
[Help] Samui Karasu waits for every lonely dude in this game to start masturbating
[Help] Just Another Catgirl: *huggles Samui*
[Help] Meta Soul: *fap*
[Help] Crankenstein: *fappity fappity fappity*
[Help] Samui Karasu: AH MAH GOD! HUGS!? THEY BUUURRRRRN *Flops around like a fish*
[Help] Just Another Catgirl: teehee.
[Help] Samui Karasu: YE THRICE DAMNED CAT WOMAN! DON'T LAUGH GET MY RAAAASH CREAM *Dies*
[Help] Just Another Catgirl gets the cream, and applies said cream o.o


Why don't any of these people have anything better to do?

[Help] Grimdark Goregush: Hey! Do you want a drink that will make you feel SO ENERGETIC? Try HEARTBURSTER, an exciting new energy drink by Goregush Inc.!
[Help] Grimdark Goregush: It comes in RADICAL FLAVORS like KILL, CHILDREN'S TEARS, and MANGO!


*facepalms* I have no idea what he's even talking about at this point.

[Help] Grimdark Goregush: It's like I'm in the Pocket D!
[Help] Grimdark Goregush: But I'm not! HOW HORRIFYING
[Help] Samui Karasu: AND THAT CHILDREN IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER ROLEPLAY! PEOPLE LIKE ME GET BORED OF THE D AND COME SPAM TEH CHAT CHANNEL!


Can we not, please? Anyone?

[Help] CaitLAN: OH MY
[Help] Samui Karasu: AND THAT CHILDREN IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER ROLEPLAY! PEOPLE LIKE ME GET BORED OF THE D AND COME SPAM TEH CHAT CHANNEL!
[Help] Crankenstein: It puts the rash cream on its skin or else it gets the hose again!
[Help] Oleander Shadow: Now now. Without the erp materworks like the D, we wouldn't have cinematic masterpieces like Splice. . .
[Help] Samui Karasu breaks Character and looks at your screen ISN'T THAT RIGHT CHILDREN!?


No. No it is not.

[Help] Darkwater Bloom: Remember when help channel only went off when someone actually needed help?
[Help] Samui Karasu: NO ONE ASKED YOU.
[Help] CaitLAN: YOU DID


That is true. He did ask.

[Help] Lisi: i'm pretty sure there's people here that NEED help
[Help] Samui Karasu: Remember when people weren't whiny bitches about the help channel?


And then immediately became an ass about it.

[Help] Darkwater Bloom: Well, actually, I would agree with that, but I'm not sure it's help anyone in game is equipped to give...
[Help] Nataleigh: Remember back when Samui Karasu didn't exist? ;)
[Help] Lisi: I'm sure there must be some doctors that play this game.
[Help] Samui Karasu: Yup! Everyone's too busy jacking off to the futa catgirls in the D.
[Help] Darkwater Bloom is still trying to wrap her brain around why that even EXISTS


Still don't know.

[Help] Grimdark Goregush: Speaking of children.... ADOPT ONE! The Goregush Adoption Agency needs your help! Become a foster parent for one of our many displaced children and recieve a FREE copy of Grimdark Goregush's hit novel: Grimdark Goregush: The Man behind the Maggots!
[Help] Upgrade Project: I used to find Goregush funny, but then I took a buried answer to the brain.


And I believe that's meme full circle in the Help channel. G'night, everybody!

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