Saturday, February 4, 2012

have we put these childish things away?

More from the wilds of City of Heroes. It started with a fairly simple request:

[Help] Trioceros: Looking for Villian Group! Please send tell! Thank you!

It's "villain", but proceed.

How'ver, a short while later:

[Help] Trioceros: Looking for villian group. Please send invite!

It's still "villain". You're getting it wrong.

A few minutes past that:

[Help] Trioceros: Oh please! Arent there any Villian Groups around?

Still "villain". He doesn't seem to be grasping that.

In the meantime, a relevant conversation had sprung up in the background:

[Help] Star-Witch: Can you recolour APP powers?
[Help] Trioceros: Isnt there any Villian Groups?
[Help] Merryl ShockClaw: Not yet Star
[Help] Selachii Satellite: No, you can't, Witch.
[Help] Trioceros: I didnt understand a word you two just said.

Okay. "APP" stands for "Ancillary Power Pools", aka, your Epic powers that you only get at level 35 or higher. This is more traditionally known as "Epic powers".

Some friendly advice was offered:

[Help] Polar Ray: trio i don't think asking that frequently will get you anywhere, you might want to check the server forum for sg directory thread.
[Help] Trioceros: Are you nembers of Villian Groups?

"Nembers"? Yep. He really typed that. Also, still "villain", and for added fun, for those who don't know, "sg" is short for "supergroups"--essentially, large groups of folks bound by RP rules, or specific fandoms, or to get together for weekly task or strike forces...or just the love of the game.

[Help] Star-Witch: Boo. Thanks for the answer, Selachii.
[Help] Trioceros: Uh, hello?
[Help] Star-Witch: Hello?
[Help] Gearhouse: Hey
[Help] Trioceros: Are you a nember of a Villian Group?

This is getting recursive.

[Help] Star-Witch: No, I'm a hero.
[Help] Trioceros: Hello?

She said "hero", not--oh, never mind.

[Help] Gearhouse: Hallo, das auto??
[Help] Trioceros: (eyelids half closed)

As will become obvious later, this does not indicate he is sleepy. It indicates he is upset. Though I'm not sure how "eyelids half closed" registers. "Eyes narrow" might have been better. "Eyelids half closed" signals to me that the medication's just kicked in.

[Help] Trioceros: Are. You A. Nember. Of. A. Villian. Group?
[Help] Mender Kumquat: No. Nor am I a member of one.

I just have to say, "Mender Kumquat" is an awesome name.

[Help] Gearhouse: I think therefore I am not
[Help] Star-Witch: No. I Am. Not.
[Help] Trioceros: Well is there anyone out there who is?
[Help] Trioceros: Hello?
[Help] Phoenix Du'Black: hi
[Help] Trioceros: Oh, this is ridiculous!
[Help] Alexander Akiiki: No, this is Patrick.

Really, can't blame anyone, here, save for maybe Trioceros, for asking so very many times.

[Help] Polar Ray: so, how is your aspergers treating you Tri?
[Help] Alexander Akiiki: Woah Ray, no need to go there
[Help] Bane Widow: That's not asperger's, that's impatient teenager.

I tend to agree.

[Help] Gearhouse: the help channel is not for disparagement of those with disabilities please keep it to pocket D

Well, that's also true. As a friend told me, there are people with disabilities in Pocket D. We must respect those anime teenage catgirl half-demons who are not, after all, futa (and that link contains an image which might be the merest bit NSFW). It creates a terrible disparity to be a young lesbian feline angelic robotic cyborg demon schoolgirl vampire without a penis. We feel for them, and we empathize with their pain.

[Help] Trioceros: Okay, I'm in Mercy.

No one cares.

[Help] Polar Ray: he must be trolling.
[Help] Trioceros: (eyelids half closed)

Remember, "sleepy" equates to "irritated".

[Help] Alexander Akiiki: It's pretty tough to find a group at this time of day/night, so maybe try later.
[Help] Gearhouse: you see the eyelids as half closed, i see them half open
[Help] Trioceros: All I want to do is join a Villian Group! I never thought this would be so hard!
[Help] Sword Droid: its not
[Help] Sword Droid: when people are awake
[Help] Alexander Akiiki: Like I said, there's not many people on redside at this time of day/night/afternoon

Yeah. If you don't get a good response, hey, ask another time. Or maybe, ask in broadcast on redside. That might work better, than the Help channel, which is broadcast to the entire game.

[Help] Sword Droid: come back in 5 hours - I'm sure you'll be fine
[Help] Polar Ray: or when you weren't spamming the help channel, of all channels.

Yeah. What Ray said.

[Help] Bane Widow: OK, I'm calling impatient teenage troll.

Pretty sure I agree.

[Help] Clarissa Myers: also, there aren't many redsiders to begin with ^^
[Help] Recon Bot M12: This time of day there's not many on Trio, only us eurotrash and a few American insomniacs
[Help] Trioceros: Oh, do you really think i'm that gullible?

Yeah, we really do. But also, again, all this started at three in the morning. Get real.

[Help] Bane Widow: I promise, your attitude won't get you invited into any VGs worth being in.
[Help] Trioceros: Well, what do you know?

Well, even villains value politeness.

[Help] Sword Droid: No - really - no need to make a fuss - come back in a few hours when the rest of the country has crawled out of bed
[Help] Alexander Akiiki: And some aussies.
[Help] Sword Droid: what time is it in Aus?
[Help] Mender Kumquat: 9:30 in Australia.
[Help] De Profundis: party time over here
[Help] Polar Ray: so, tell us how it is like to live on the moontime?
[Help] Alexander Akiiki: In my part? 10:23 in the PM on a saturday.
[Help] Sword Droid: hey hey - aussies are more afraid of you than you are of them

It went on like this for a while, rather convivial, until:

[Help] Trioceros: The horror of living in a polutted part of Madagascar is more like it! let's put aside "polutted" for a moment; what does he have against Madagascar?

Just a few moments after:

[Help] Trioceros: Okay, my patience is wearing thin. Looking for Villian Group.
[Help] Carnival Warwolf: Redside is as dead as Batman's parents.

Well, I wouldn't say that. I still think there's a lot of individual villains on redside that are reasonably active; it's just that there aren't as many as on blueside. Plus, a lot of the bigger blueside groups have both redside and blueside members; so there are fewer redside super-groups overall.

Still, I don't think it really was that there weren't any villains on at this hour; I truly think it was the perception that Trioceros was an ass within two minutes of hearing from him that made no super-group willing to toss him an invitation to join.

Three minutes later:

[Help] Trioceros: Would it help if you americans werent brain damaged.

Yeah, guy, I get that you're frustrated, but this is not the way to go.

[Help] Isis Enyalios: when looking for a VG or farms you need to log in with the rest of the [player base]
[Help] Clarissa Myers: trioceros, careful, with no patience. you don't want to end up like ed gruberman.
[Help] Trioceros: Gruberman?
[Help] Daddy Long-Legs: Boot to the head!

I suppose Trioceros can be forgiven for not remembering the Frantics; after all, at this point we were all pretty sure he was fourteen, at the maximum. More likely twelve.

[Help] Selachii Satellite: I'm brain damaged? CRAP. I wish I would have known.
[Help] Trioceros: You are all weridos.

That's "weirdos", and that's your biggest insult?

[Help] Clarissa Myers: naaaah, we could be worse
[Help] A Befuddled Knight: You are trolling/racist
[Help] Trioceros: You are worse.
[Help] A Befuddled Knight: Probably.

He just never seemed to fully grasp that other people, on the internet, were finding his outrage funny. Also, his sarcasm filter is in dire need of repair; obviously, it's burnt out.

[Help] Carnival Warwolf: I just realized something.
[Help] Clarissa Myers: we could have CATGIRLS here.
[Help] Thistlebeam: Clarissa: we DO have catgirls here, who are you kidding?

It's true. People complain about the amount of "furs" on City of Heroes since the Beast pack came out, but cat ears and tails were always options in the game.

[Help] A Befuddled Knight: Meow
[Help] Trioceros: Something tells me that you ARE nembers of Villian Groups but you're too stupid to let me in them.
[Help] Gearhouse: *slowly raises neko paw*
[Help] Selachii Satellite: I'm not feeling too stupid right now, to be honest.

I don't think anyone for, possibly, Trioceros. And again, it's "members", not "nembers", you loon.

[Help] Mr. Gibbs: can't we all just....get along!?
[Help] A Befuddled Knight: Calling people idiots is a bad idea if you want something, bro


[Help] Trioceros: For a start I would like to join a Villian Group.
[Help] A Befuddled Knight: Hurr hurr

Stiv? O Lord, you play City of Heroes?

[Help] Carnival Warwolf: Trio, you're not even giving out what kind of information you want pertaining to a VG. Are you an RPer or power leveler? Do you run TF's or are you looking for casual play?
[Help] Trioceros: *facepalm*

See, that's a good question too. There are entire supergroups that are bound to very specific RP scenarios--some based around the conventions of Paragon City/Rogue Isles, some based in other fandoms. There are groups that limit themselves to ERP (erotic roleplay). There are other groups who gather at given times just to run fire farms in Architect Entertainment--a way to really rack up XP fast for power-leveling.

The supergroup I'm in, for example, is fairly relaxed about chatting; many of its members have actually met offline, or are personal friends from other games. Also, they run weekly task force runs two days out of every week, and they actually have officers who meet an additional hour each week. You get out of it what you put in: if you don't want to talk, no one will make you; you just get access to the supergroup base and a nifty title.

Other groups are more restrictive, it varies group by group. But if we don't even know what he's looking for, how can we advise him where to go?

[Help] Isis Enyalios: 6:45 EST isn't a good time to join a VG
[Help] Trioceros: Its 11:49 in britain.
[Help] Mender Neo: But since you aren't on a British server, that doesn't help much.
[Help] Trioceros: I dont give a damm about what time it is in america.

Of course you don't. Are all English people this dim, or is it just you? I'm betting it's just you.

[Help] Mr. Gibbs: i dont give a damn about zucchini but you dont hear me complaining about it
[Help] Polar Ray: trioceros, on a sacel of 1 to 12, how old are you?

That's "scale", but otherwise, it's a good question.

[Help] Polar Ray: *scale

Thanks for catching that.

[Help] A Befuddled Knight: Uh
[Help] Trioceros: You can put a sock in it too you know.
[Help] Trioceros: You people are driving me to insanity.

Why? That's been my question all along. What part of "We can't help you, ask later" is in any way unclear? What part of "We can't help you, ask later" means keep asking all damn night? Seriously, Trio, you're a menace, and you're fairly clueless, and you seem incapable of having fun in the first place.

[Help] Selachii Satellite: Right then. Mission accomplished. I have laughed myself to tears, and driven Trio to the brink of insanity. I can sleep well tonight.

It's not the worst victory condition.

[Help] Trioceros: But you have concealed fates of others in VIRTUE! I will delete this character, remake him, find a villian group, and CREATING HAVOC! GOODBYE, LOSERS!

"Concealed"? What the hell does that even mean? What the hell is wrong with your brain, Trioceros? Honestly!

[Help] Polar Ray: gents we created a monster.
[Help] Mender Neo: Have fun with that.
[Help] Selachii Satellite: Was it Godzilla?
[Help] Carnival Warwolf: No Gents, we -are- the monsters.
[Help] Clarissa Myers: *evil laughter*

Okay, fine, but seriously, Trio was his own mini-drama bomb. And I can't decide if he was serious or just trying--ineptly--to troll the channel all night.

[Help] Mr. Gibbs: he's hot, i love a man who enjoys being mental
[Help] A Befuddled Knight: JAZZ HANDS


[Help] Selachii Satellite: Oh, snap. I misread that for a second.
[Help] Selachii Satellite: I was like "HEY NOW, TMI!"
[Help] Mr. Gibbs: everyone has one thing on their mind at this hour
[Help] A Befuddled Knight: Not me
[Help] Mr. Gibbs: poptarts
[Help] A Befuddled Knight: I let my mind wander

Never a good idea. I'm never sure if it will come back if I let it wander.

[Help] Selachii Satellite: *ahem* Now that I have literally laughed myself to tears at this insanity... I'm gonna get some sleep before work. Good night, Virtue!

Good night, indeed. I only have one more quote to preserve for...well, not posterity, it's too ridiculous for that. After the conversation turned from the flouncing exit of Trioceros to random insanity, this came up:

[Help] Clarissa Myers: horse? ponies? My little Porny - Friendship with Benefits?
[Help] Neptunes End: this is the weirdest porn ever
[Help] Mr. Gibbs: more like the BEST porn ever

Okay, seriously, why is there so much My Little Pony sex on the net? I do not understand. (And yes, while I've tried to keep actual pornographic images out of the link, childhoods may well be destroyed by some images. Not my fault if you click; you have been warned.)

(And believe me, I could have gone a lot worse. I just don't get why there are so many fans of adult...ponies. I mean, they're...ponies. The hell.)

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