you leave it all on the table, if you lose or you win

Windows Marketplace? Hacked in seven hours. Wau, that was quick.

And Sasy Scarborough weighs in on content theft--curiously on November 5th. Yeah, I hadn't even realized the 'no blog posts' portion of the protests--not that I would have followed that anyway. Not much keeps me from blogging if I want to. Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad; but that's part of who I am.

At least that post helps explain some things; as one of Maitreya's shop contacts, I'd contacted Miss Scarborough in relation to a hunt, some time last year; I got a fractious and seemingly insane reply back, full of highly offended you-have-insulted-me-and-mine statements (which to this day baffles me to no end). If she was under that level of pressure, however, it does make me understand how even a casual question, dropped into such a ferment of doubt and paranoia, would spawn distrust.

We move on.

I'm going to tell wtf is happening with me, the notecard began. I'm part of the group SHE WANTS REVENGE, half because she's incredibly prolific, and half because I like the band that inspired her shop's name.

i'm tired. everybody is asking me what's happening but nobody really cares.. I have hepatic steatosis, erosive esophagitis, my pancreas is working 4 more times than a normal pancreas, my liver is fucked and i need a surgery, but my health insurance is a shit. Okay. I don't want your money, I don't need your help.. Just leave me in peace playing my music. I'm not here for charity or other thing.. I just want to make my art and spread my awesomenesses around the universe.

This is a hard call for anyone, in or out of world.

I'm desperated. I can't die. So, i'm no online on second life, because i'm going to a lot of doctors. My sister will take care the things here. be Kind with her!

I'd also think a gentle encouragement towards buying things she puts out wouldn't be out of line, but note--that's not her request. This is:

I'm making a lot of songs, because i'm afraid to die and people forget that i exist.. So I just want that you listen my work, my pain, my sickness.. I want to share it.. I don't want your money, my music is free.. I just need to share with universe what's happening with me..
Thanks for all support. I'm not dead.

As long as you're still breathing, the game's not over. Right?

Sorry for all. Revenge Gears aka Marcy Mars

Marcy Mars on last.fm.

Her latest video, I'm not dead, with links to other content on her channel.

Maybe you don't like her style, and can't support her that way. Maybe you won't like the music, once you hear it. But at least listen. That's all she's asking. Click one of the links and at least tune in for a bit, to her voice, her fears, her pain, her dread.

She just wants to be remembered. Just in case. Who doesn't?



(Update, 14 November 2009: She's recorded what her sister says is her last song, Survive. It's a reaction to the past few days of people sending IMs and emails to her, saying she's just being an attention whore and seeking money. Her sister wants this to stop, because that's not what Marcy Mars/Revenge Gears wants. She just wants to sing. To reach out. To survive.

(It's a little like swallowing broken glass while tribal drummers play you down, but it's worth seeing at least once.)