Wednesday, June 11, 2008

all of you, both of you, none of you, more than one of you

Welcome to this evening's fear:

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In the middle of an inventory sorting project, suddenly--no inventory. No folders, even. No titles. Just...blank. Blank nothingness.

To be followed by a blank IM screen, a blank groups box, a blank profile, and no buttons beneath the main chat bar (click the small image to get the large one).

Yet...I was still on the grid, in the world, able to interact...I had not redmapped, I hadn't crashed. This was...different, and far more disturbing.

This? Is just about as unnerving as you might think. I finally dumped cache and relogged, hoping it was all just a momentary glitch.

As it turned out, it was, but heart-pounding couple of moments, let me tell you.

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Now, really, I'm not so much singling out designers to harm, here, but get real with your branding ideas, people! If it has to say FIERCE across my posterior in BRIGHT PINK, I am obviously not doing my job.

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And this is why we hunt for cavorite ore with nets...

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And I know June Dion did not name this after me. But I was tickled enough finding this at Bare Rose, I had to buy it. It amused me too much not to own.

Friend of ours wants us to put up a vendor for a party she and others in her business collective are having. I don't entirely get it, but I'm not passing up the opportunity. Unfort, that means most of Thursday will be taking photographs of the new eyes, packaging them up, and putting them in the server. It's going to take hours, I just know it.

Still, more than time I did it, and I need to put out some new things anyway. Far too long since I created anything, and I need to, something, anything, just to start the process happening again.

I've been in a place of unmoving, I think, for some time. Not stagnation, not quite, just holding still, and listening, and seeing what was going to change, and if anything did. There was change, there will be more, but now, just now, it's peaceful enough. The changes don't bring disaster in their wake.

This is not a bad thing.

But me being me, of course, I was prepared for the disaster, and I'm not prepared for the tentative silvering hope to break through. So maybe it's time to let go, and realize half empty still means I have half a glass. Or that half empty means it's time to get more to fill the cup.

And that that's okay, too. That I can go back to the wellspring and come back refreshed, that I don't have to stand out in the cold on my own.

This? Is not a bad thing either. It's just not something I've ever been used to...

2 comments:

Frau A. S. Lowey said...

You are down to 40K in inventory? that is imprssive.

Emilly Orr said...

As of late last night, I'm down to 39K and change, even.

The days of 20K inventory loads may be forever behind me; but I still have it firmly in mind: if I'm over 40K, I have too much stuph. Right now, even wavering on the high end of 39,000, I:

* can no longer remember which folder some of my favorite outfits are in;

* can no longer remember which category some of my favorite hairstyles are stored;

* have an entire folder now containing more than forty-five notecards that says simply "New notes"

It's beyond ridiculous. It needs to stop.