Saturday, March 17, 2007

can you hear it, a cry to be free

should have known
should have known should have known
it's like the universe bearing down on me
telling me no
I risk contacting the demon
and I'm in limbo again

I hate this place
I tell myself it will resolve
it's just a side effect
learn how to move between
the age of magic
and the age of reason
with stopovers in the age of steam
as I said to the demon's daughter
there are bound to be glitches along the way

but I hate this place
more because I did reach out
I did choose to speak
we did talk about everything
we've long stopped talking about
and it reawakened everything

there is no moon in this place
only grey
still and featureless and unending
and perhaps I don't deserve one
my heart still torn
between pale and pallor
between healing and consumption
while the pallid shadow
of what the demon is
callis me to converse

floating in this place
this hated place
nonexistence
wanting to find a surface
to scratch through
but there is no surface
wanting to scream out loud
so someone will come to my aid
but no sound carries
through the grey

this hated place
this limbo
am I here because I considered
even for a moment
if the demon was right?
if we had given up too easily?
I did think on it
I did consider it
and my answer was
we were damaged before he left me
we were tottering before the fall
we were hurting each other
and how was that good
for either one of us?

I hate this place
this limbo place
I hate being here
when I could be walking my world
I hate being trapped in the featureless
I rail against the injustice

but perhaps tonight's expulsion
is retaliation
for thinking of going backwards
even for a moment

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