10 April, 2019

she plays Medea later this week

This is odd for me--I'm covering something today that isn't available right now. Let me explain.



First off, for clarity: this outfit was sent to me by sachi Vixen, the designing force behind [ae]. It's the Medea dress in Navy that was for sale at the Days of Yore event. (I don't know when it ended, but it's over now.)



Let me point out this as well--there is no earthly way to wear underwear with this without it showing. Possibly one of those little shield things, generally available in lace patterns (I've seen them in plain silk or satin, butterfly or heart shapes, there's a few of them around; I've also seen them in metal)--but nothing else.



This is it from the back. It's mesh, so it does stretch with leg movements, but we expect that by now. You can't see it as well here, but from the front, it hangs by two thin spaghetti straps, and in the rear, the straps end just slightly above mid-back.



Now, the attached belt. It comes in three metal tones. This is the brushed silver. Also, as seen here, yes, in certain poses, the fall of fabric in front (and back) will 'split' to show leg underneath. This is not a fault in the mesh, it's just an unavoidable consequence of random animations.



This is the black metal option.



And this is the gold. The included belt HUD changes the small rings that attach the spaghetti straps to the main fabric panels, the center circle closure between the breasts, and the hip belt.



There's also a short version, for those who wish more of a 'camisk' look.



And this is it from the back, where the fall of the straps can be more clearly seen.

Medea is for Slink Original and Slink Hourglass, and Maitreya, and intriguingly enough, Slink Original Petite, Slink Hourglass Petite, and Maitreya Petite. I didn't even realize there were Slink and Maitreya Petite bodies!

I'm hoping this comes to the [ae] store at some point. I have no idea what it sold for at the event. But the "Mama" dress which is currently at We Roleplay goes for L$195 per dress, so I'm assuming it will be comparable when or if it reaches the store.

09 April, 2019

and the body politic is getting sicker by the minute

Logged in to a disturbing message in one of my groups. I'm not using any identifying information beyond the words, because I want to talk with the notice's sender before I do anything more...permanent.
Thralls... there seems to be an issue of jealousy occuring.
"Occurring", and okay, I agree. Issues of jealousy on an adult roleplay sim are not good and need to be addressed.
In case you've forgotten, you are property. Either property of the village or you belong to some person. You own nothing; You have no opinion; Your will is not your own; You are chattel, no better than a cow or a dog or simply a piece of meat.
Hollllld up. This is the part I have a serious problem with.

There were three acknowledged classes in nearly all Viking cultures: the nobility, the freemen (and occasional free women) and thralls, who were essentially slaves. In old Norse and Icelandic, the term was þræll which was related to an older word meaning "run" or "runner", but with overtones of "worker". Anglo-Saxon cultures, which were partially related to Norse/Viking ones, used þeow instead, which meant 'hireling" or "labourer".

Now, slaves were owned, yes. Sold at auction, sold in open markets or captured from countries sailing men reached while going Viking. But this didn't mean they lacked agency.

Not much survives from the Viking era, but enough has to get an idea of a thrall's worth. Accounts of ancient Germanic law, from the 5th to 6th century, at least, mention it was possible for thralls to raise their status. If they were particularly skilled, they were paid for their work. Once they accumulated enough, they could essentially buy their freedom and become leysingr, or free men (free women were more rare to advance from thralls, but again, it did happen--sometimes through their own skills at weaving, baking or dyeing, sometimes through marriage to a male with higher status).

Up until Christianization of the regions, the ancient Germanic legal system was based on payments for injury or death, instead of killing the person or persons who'd committed the crime. if damage was done, damage had to be repaid, depending on the type and level of damage. For instance, the basic price for injury to a freeman was 200 weregeld, half that for thralls. Though it could be raised to 200 for thralls, or even 300, if such injury resulted in death or permanent disability. Usually the weregeld was paid to the thrall's owner, but on occasion, it was paid to the thrall.
Your Master/Mistress is not responsible to you for His/Her actions, decisions or thoughts. If you create petty disputes, they will not be tolerated. You have zero, rights, opinions or personal will.
That would be "zero rights", no comma, and that is also manifestly untrue historically. As far as Second Life goes, it sounds extraordinarily dictatorial. And, might I say, closer to Gorean practice than historical Viking re-creation. In addition, there is no single form of D/s, BDSM, or ownership, either in Second Life, or beyond the grid.

Put another way, any owned slave, pet, or submissive in real life has the right of refusal. Consent is basic, necessary, at all times. Any dominant who refuses that basic right with their submissives, unless they have negotiated that to begin with, will get a very bad reputation in the BDSM community, up to and including jail time. (Yes. This has happened.)

In Second Life, to be fair, the rules are kind of all over, but as I did not come to this sim by way of Gor, and have never been a Gorean, I came in with the right of refusal fully guaranteed by the couple who invited me. And the man who's collared me has given me that same right--to refuse, with consent always necessary. This doesn't mean I never get in trouble. This doesn't mean I'm never disciplined. This does mean I retain agency in that relationship, so I retain it on this sim.
You belong to your owner. You will be punished or, if it continues or escalates.. you will be ejected from the village. No exceptions.
My status, as such, is part of why this offends me, I admit. When I originally came to this particular roleplay sim, I came in as a thrall. It's a common thing to do, and since half of the couple I intended to live with there had already established a place, and a seat on the ruling council, it made sense to be the live-in thrall to them. It provided a handy shortcut as to why I would be there. While on the rest of the grid, I am a shapeshifting lesser fae, within the village I'm playing human, from either Eire or Frisia (I hadn't fully decided). I was acquired by the couple, and I traveled with them to early Norway. Simple, effective, it made sense.

Now, granted, over the last few months, I became part of the priesthood, so to speak--my role is not as formal, I am closer kin to shaman or hearth witch, really, but I have done ceremonies for the village. This puts me at ċeorl status, basically a free woman ranked below a jarl but above a þræll.

Later still, I joined the ruling council for the village, which, because of the structure of the village, at the very least keeps me at the level of ċeorl, but might raise me to, at best, lower nobility.

Which is all well and good, and for a variety of reasons, my autonomy and agency are preserved, but this is still dehumanizing. I am manifestly uncomfortable with dehumanization.
Finally, none of the rules or regulations of this sim are negotiable. If you think it's unfair, you are cordially invited to go somewhere else to play in Second Life.
I'm trimming off the name of the person who sent this, because I do need to talk to them before I decide what I'm going to do. I do not, as such, think it is unfair; this person owns the sim, so their sim, their rules.

But there's already a list of sims I don't go to--the capture/prey sims come to mind, the snuff sims, the asylum/rape sims, the ones where I'm required to go naked and submit to any man who wants me--because I don't agree with their policies. I don't think they're unfair, either, but I don't play there because I wouldn't do what they want, flat out.

And sure, my status, simply because of my current roles on the sim, may in fact have taken me beyond þræll status. It's perfectly possible. But I started as a þræll. And AS a þræll, I am NOT a dog. I am NOT chattel. I am manifestly NOT a piece of meat, and I refuse to be treated as such.

And yes, I am offended by this. I am disturbed by this. And I think I'm a bit angered by this. This was...not the wisest move to send to the entire group, when it could have specifically been addressed to the thralls in question who were causing the issues.

But I am holding my action until I talk to two people: the man who owns my collar, and the one who owns the sim. Their answers will determine whether I remain in the village, or sail off for other shores. No one tells me I have no worth. I know my worth. I keep my worth.

And if this person thinks that by sending out a notice, it will be enough to cause my spine to bend and bring me, abased and apologetic, to their boots, they don't know me that well at all. I am not the jealous type, and I know I'm not one of the thralls specifically meant in this instance, but this will not fly with me, and it likely will not fly with others. So discussion must be had, and it may not go well.

(There is a follow-up.)

07 April, 2019

and the five o'clock show, hello hello (part two)

(Continued from part one.)

More from the Art Divas show in Diloba.



This one is still stunning in general. Apparently it was taken upside down, the Blossom in question decided she liked it better reversed, so that's how Bittsy set it. But it does draw the eye magnetically, because of that.



Around the corner on the second floor, a few paintings from a guest artist, Ms. Aleriah. With all of the artists, I'm not showing all of their work, so believe me, a trip to see the show is well worth it. I really like the two lasses in pink.



On the third floor, Ms. Vannesh Cannoli chose mostly animals and rustic scenes this time around. They're all intriguing.



On the other side from Vannesh, Ms. Dee Wells exhibit begins. She, also, chose a mix of scenes--some architecture shots, some with people included--but all of hers were less 'spring' than sepia, or tone-on-tone dust. That doesn't make them bad, it just makes them stand out. They're very good.

I don't know how long the show will run for; I predict at least a month. Go check it out if you're interested in art largely taken in Second Life--it's a good mix of styles and genres.

06 April, 2019

and the five o'clock show, hello hello (part one)

Rest in peace, Vonda McIntyre. She was one of the founding voices of science fiction, and she will be missed.

In other news, I went to the opening of the latest Art Divas show, a little gallery in Diloba.

I took...a lot of pictures, that's why this will be split into two parts.



Downstairs, when one enters the gallery. Just past this standing easel, is a small seating area and the pictures of the core group of four artists who belong with this gallery.



Up to the second floor. Ms. Caldwell chose, as her representation of spring, a series of heavily filtered poppy pods. This one, I'm not sure if it's digital or actual photography--as in, are these in-world poppies, or real ones? I can't tell.



Then to the other side of the second floor, where Ms. BittsyBoo's exhibit featured a series of photos she'd taken for Sakura, featuring the Blossoms. Yes, that's me on the right.



On the left, an alternate image of Ms. Violet Scrivener, I think, from the one that's in the foyer along our portrait walls. I also adore the cherry blossom wall decals.



On the left, Ms. Lynn Mimistrobell, in the utterly impossible dress. It's even more stunning in person--it looks as if a single breath will drop it in a silken slide to the floor.

(Continued in part two.)

05 April, 2019

strange how the scale forms, in tiny patterns on my antenna

Boston Dynamics strikes again--this seems like a really good robot design.

I wanted to make an entry on the handfasting I officiated at today, but...the lag was so intense, pictures were impossible. Thankfully, others with sturdier computers saved the day, so if you're interested in medieval (ish) handfasting shots, check out this Flickr for some as-it-happened shots. I'll update in later entries if I find out more links. This was a lot of fun, though I might have been more nervous than the couple I handfasted!



I like this dress. It comes in about six colors, all accessed by HUD, but I was feeling the green. Found makeup, lingerie and heels that all matched close enough, and then...went to work. And matched the furniture.



I could lay down on one of the couches and disappear. That isn't good. Does that mean I should ditch this dress entirely, or just never wear it in green again?



I mean, how big a fashion faux pas is blending in with your environment? I'm like a chameleon!

01 April, 2019

slipped down, couldn't get much lower

The glasses are a nice touch.

In the meantime, I remain baffled by this headline. I mean, Tumblr is only down 30% of users? I expected that figure to be much higher. Pursuant to that, from another chat forum:
[1:01 AM] Fxxxxxx: 30 percent is less than I expected tbh.
[1:01 AM] Fxxxxxx: I didn't expect it to completely die, but I expected a higher drop than that.
[1:04 AM] Axx: I expected less, really, between the "yeah I'm kinda leaving but not really leaving" crowd and the "I'll just put the porn elsewhere but Tumblr remains my primary thing" ones.
[1:04 AM] Axx: And the many faceless others who are simply too bound by habit to do otherwise.
If it helps, I only still have an account because I'm culling through the archives, throwing everything I want to keep up on a separate blog, and then I'll kill the account. I don't read the currents anymore, I don't scan through my feed, I don't say anything on the platform since the Decision of Great Stupidity went in. Essentially, they're counting me as an active user when I'm nothing like.

Meanwhile, beyond the screen, I was shopping for a sun hat. This made my brain crumple:
1900 beach caps for women cap ball womens baseball trucker hats sun visor 5.5'' large brim summer uv protection girls straw hat foldable floppy
I don't want a swimming cap. I don't want a trucker hat or a ball cap. I want a sun hat. And this wasn't a straw hat, it was a linen one.
wide sleeve wedding dress pop collection wave short lolita curly wigs + wig wide-brimmed wide-brim cowboy brimmed mens witch black jfh bora
I'm definitely not in the market for a wedding dress. I don't own a single wig, let alone a curly Lolita one. Wait, no, that's wrong, I do have one shoulder-length, straight pink wig specifically to use with my clown costume. Which I have worn twice, to be fair, so I figure the wig was a good buy. That aside, it's not a Lolita-style wig.

Where does witch come in? And the hat's not black, so where does black come in? What on earth is 'bora'? And it's not a mens' hat, so...bwuh?
booney outdoor safari men red fedora extra wool a zzcc women's retro felt bowler ladies kids lanzom panama roll up with hard group safari/outback neck flap white yellow s girl boater big spf farmer scarecrow
It's not a fedora. It's not a boater hat. It's not made of wool or felt. It's not red. It's not in kid sizes. It's not a farmer hat. How in the hells does scarecrow fit in?
round blue fall vintage roxy cute open costume paper crushable plain hawaiian brown cowgirl halloween quicksilver fancy navy tan flat stetson
Hoo, boy. It's not a cowgirl thing. It's not for Halloween. It's not for costume use. It's not "Roxy", whatever that is. It has nothing to do with mercury. It's not a Stetson.
western small collapsible pink mexican mini columbia farm gray 1920s farmers garden natural orange green asian funny travel scala adjustable golf
Again, no Western influence anywhere. It's not from Mexico, Columbia, the 1920s, though to be fair, it may be from Asia. It's not grey, it's not for farming, it's not pink. I guess one could use this in a garden...
bulk boho hawaii oneil quiksilver purple hillbilly colored raffia italian flexible country sexy mg outback toyo boat cuban chinese french folding lifeguard beige woven rolled joyebuy upf50 personalized cloche
It's not a cloche, it's not for lifeguards, it's not personalized, it's not Italian, it's not Cuban, it's not raffia, it's not a "hillbilly" style, whatever that is. Again, sorry, no mercury in the product. It probably will fold, it probably is flexible, but it's not purple or from Hawaii. It's definitely not Italian. It's definitely not from Australia. What does "toyo boat" mean? I have no clue. It's not French, Scala didn't make it, I guess since it has a color, it may qualify as colored...

But overall, I'm just massively confused. Amazon, police your listings.

30 March, 2019

now you think you’re anonymous, a masked face without a name

Of all the things...this came through a shopping group:
[21:20] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: I really need 100L for a new dildo, can anyone help please!?
You're not serious.
[21:20] nxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: OMG rolmao
[21:20] axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: ohhh I love humiliation play
[21:21] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: hahaha come on I need some help!
That's too close kin to begging.
[21:21] Emilly Orr: 1. No. 2. What are you willing to do for that L$100?
[21:21] Vxxxxxxx Rxxxx: laughs
[21:21] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Shake my ass?
[21:22] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: I look pretty damn hot right now
What Mm. P sent, I can't link, because it featured their actual name. Do know it involved a rainbow hat, white suspenders, pink boxer shorts with tiny white hearts on them, and...a muchness of hip-shaking.

I can't link that, but I can link this:


[21:22] Dxxx Pxxxxxx: Please do not use group to ask for money
[21:22] Emilly Orr: Also that.
[21:23] nxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: feels a firey bannnn comming on
[21:23] cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: screamsss in laughter
[21:24] mxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Did you wear out the old one?
[21:24] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Yes damn thing exploded
*raises an eyebrow* Really?
[21:24] Emilly Orr: In the case of what [Pxxxx] linked, [Axxxxxx], I don't think humiliation will phase him.
[21:25] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Not much phases me
That, I can believe.
[21:26] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx): Sorry guys, I'm playing truth and dare lol. This was my dare
Then you're an idiot.
[21:27] Dxxx Pxxxxxx: That's not a very good dare considering it could get you kicked out of a group
[21:27] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Yeah I don't mind lol
[21:27] nxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: 5
[21:27] nxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: 4
[21:27] nxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: 3
We need a countdown now? Seriously?
[21:27] axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: [Pxxxx]
[21:27] axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: smh
[21:27] nxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: lol
[21:27] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: oh no!
[21:27] axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: excuse my daughter
Your what?
[21:27] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx:
[21:27] axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I just logged in and saw this
[21:27] axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx:
[21:27] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Welp lol
[21:28] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: It's not my fault
It's totally your fault. Own your actions.
[21:28] axxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I see what goes on while I'm not here
[21:29] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: You aren't shocked
[21:29] Hxxxxx Mxxxx: not at all
[21:36] Emilly Orr: Daughter?
[21:36] Emilly Orr checks the Gyazo again. Then pulls the profile.
Which featured an urbane, bearded man on both SL bio pic, and RL bio pic. So...what?
[21:36] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Yes I'm really a girl
[21:36] Bxxxxxxxx Sxxxxxx: she really is
[21:36] Emilly Orr: Um....apologies, then? But it does look like you're awfully non-female.
[21:37] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Girl with a beard
[21:37] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: lol
[21:37] Mxxx Rxxxxxx: Lmaaaaooo
[21:37] Emilly Orr: Hey, girls can have beards, I've met some.
[21:37] lxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Jenna Marbles!!
I was more thinking of Annalisa Hackleman, Harnaam Kaur, blessedbaubles on Instagram, fuzzslxt, also on Instagram, or, you know, any of the historic ones.
[21:39] Pxxxx Oxxxxxxx: Thought maybe my man boobs might throw some of you off
No, the fact that "she" had NO boobs, dressed entirely as a modern-era male, plus the gif that featured a bare male chest and a visible bulge under the boxers...I'm not happy with gender-shaming, per se, but...my gods, make some effort! You're in a virtual world, sure, you can completely cross genders, but if you're playing one sex, don't announce that you aren't any sort of that sex! It's confusing even to those of us who try never to assume gender with the androgynous or the gender-fluid, because you are not fluid. You seem very firmly set on "Typical Male". I just don't get it.

In the meantime, from another chat:
[21:27] txxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Random question: Does anyone here know a cool urban Asian sim that would be suitable for photography?
[21:27] Nxxxx Bxxxxxxxxx: perhaps kowloon?
[21:27] Nxxxx Bxxxxxxxxx: kowloon (146,11,24)
[21:28] Axxxxxx Dxxxxx: Village of Ahiru maybe?
[21:28] sxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: SSOC (179,61,23)
[21:28] mxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: That's a good one [Nxxxx]
[21:28] Emilly Orr: Kowloon, just FYI, is amazingly cool, especially if you wander off the main strip? It is Chinese, I believe, not Japanese. But it's so well done. And the several-story round building after you come in is still ten Lindens.
I'm surprised it's still up, but it's still amazingly detailed, a rich and changing experience every time I go.
[21:29] txxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: Thank you so much for all the suggestions, guys. I will try to hit as many as possible.
[21:29] Nxxxx Bxxxxxxxxx: there's another i went to recently trying to see if i can remember the name
[21:29] Emilly Orr: I still want one of those cats with the ever-turning heads. They're all over Kowloon.
[21:29] txxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I have an all-black ensemble that has some Asian streetwear influence so I'm trying to find a sim to match that
[21:33] Nxxxx Bxxxxxxxxx: Morning Crescent Moon (73,223,23) here it is! this is a good one too
[21:33] Mxxxxxxx Mxxxxx: [Vxxx]. Try R2 Fashion (77,134,1103) - it has just the aesthetic
[21:35] Fxxxxxxx Cxxxxxx: what about harajuku event (which has a lot of street area around it, also)?
All good answers. Let's hope Ms. V finds somewhere that works.

26 March, 2019

through the airwaves--people never read the airwaves



From the Rewind event, which this time out is themed for 90's hip-hop.



In the meantime, this is one of my favorite retro dresses. I have worn it a great deal. I've never actually sat down in it, though.

Until now.



Now, that may sound strange, but when I go to work, a lot of the time I do end up standing, talking to people, dancing with people, general greeting in the sky club or in the mansion at ground level. None of this requires sitting down.



I tried all the positions on the side chairs, frowned, and moved to the sofa, and tried all of their poses. Nothing worked, nothing at all worked.



And finally, I figured, okay, let's at least try the lays. There are two. Both failed.

The inescapable truth is, I can't sit in this dress. Now I'm thinking I need to go through my entire inventory (a terrifying proposition) and test everything in a chair. Or even more specifically, the chair and sofa set at work. Because I do own mesh dresses that work when sitting.

So much extra work. This never happened with flexi.

24 March, 2019

the hidden blade when you pretend that you don't even know my name, well played

Some days, you get all kinds. And some nights, I get really confused and irritated.
[22:39] Nxxxx Nxxxx: hi
[22:39] Emilly Orr: Hello there!
Random hi's from strangers bug me. State yer case or on yer bike. But I try to be pleasant and at least hear why they're reaching out.

Also, I have no idea who she is.
[22:39] Nxxxx Nxxxx: wondrng do we l know each other
It's "wondering". And "do we 1 know" is really bad sentence construction.
[22:40] Emilly Orr: Not as far as I know
[22:40] Nxxxx Nxxxx: ok hmmm are you into stockings
I pulled her profile at this point. Ton of wrestling and nylons groups, including one that started with "Bully [B*tches]". I'm willing to indulge in foot worship sessions if a client requests it, but outside of a visit to a random footplay sim to see if I could figure out the draw, it's never been an interest.
[22:40] Emilly Orr: I like wearing them.
[22:41] Nxxxx Nxxxx: in sl
[22:41] Emilly Orr: I like wearing them? They're not a fetish point for me.
How was that not an answer the first time?
[22:42] Nxxxx Nxxxx: oh ok do you have he older ones
She means "the", I'm pretty sure.
[22:42] Emilly Orr: What older ones?
That is vague as hell.
[22:42] Nxxxx Nxxxx: vintage th full fashioned ones
[22:43] Nxxxx Nxxxx: do you cat fight
What?
[22:44] Emilly Orr: 1. Sometimes, if I can find a good seamed pair.
[22:44] Emilly Orr: 2. Hell no.
Thought that would also be a simple answer, but...And even though I kind of knew it was coming, it did make my lip curl a bit. What, her joy is reaching out to random strangers to pant over her love of nylons and hurting girls? Is this fun for her?
[22:45] Nxxxx Nxxxx: got them so do i do you have any now
Who was she asking, me or her? Because the "do i do you" is beyond confusing.
[22:46] Emilly Orr: I think a few? Mostly in black. Couple pairs in other colors.
I was not about to go count, I seriously didn't care enough.
[22:46] Emilly Orr: Why?
[22:47] Nxxxx Nxxxx: full fashiond ones
[22:47] Emilly Orr: Full or old fashioned, do you mean?
[22:47] Nxxxx Nxxxx: both no 9 axiennes
[22:48] Emilly Orr: I didn't get that. Axiennes?
[22:48] Nxxxx Nxxxx: yes
That's not an answer.
[22:48] Emilly Orr: Okay, let me restate. What are 9 Axiennes?
[22:49] Nxxxx Nxxxx: thee stockings
Pretty sure it's "the" again.
[22:49] Emilly Orr: Brand doesn't sound familiar.
[22:50] Nxxxx Nxxxx: hmm what about no 9
[22:50] Emilly Orr: Oh, those were two brands?
[22:50] Emilly Orr: Don't recognize either.
So, I went looking, and this is No 9, and I failed completely on finding Axiennes on Marketplace, so if I care enough, I'll see if I can find Axiennes in world tomorrow. Probably won't bother.

Some time passed, then...
[23:01] Nxxxx Nxxxx: what you layer
[23:01] Emilly Orr: What?
Seriously, I don't know what that means.
[23:03] Nxxxx Nxxxx: do you evr layer your hose
It's "ever".
[23:05] Emilly Orr: Not since I moved to a mesh body.
And I'm not sure I ever layered stockings over other stockings when I was in a system body. I may have, once or twice, worn a tattoo layer on the legs then stockings over that, but...I'm not sure that's what she means.
[23:05] Nxxxx Nxxxx: dam hm and you cant wear your no 9 either
[23:05] Emilly Orr: I don't have no 9 anything
[23:06] Nxxxx Nxxxx: ok or axiennes
[23:06] Emilly Orr: Did I not say I don't have either? I seriously don't. Never heard of either of them.
What is her issue, here?
[23:07] Nxxxx Nxxxx: ok ok girl
[23:07] Emilly Orr: I don't understand anything about this conversation.
I really didn't.
Another long pause, then:
[23:20] Nxxxx Nxxxx: its ok hunni'
"Hunni". Sure.
[23:21] Emilly Orr: If you say so.
[23:22] Nxxxx Nxxxx: we were talking about our stockings
She was, I was just trying to figure out why.
[23:22] Emilly Orr: I know. I don't get the rest of it. Or the start of it. Have we ever talked before? Because I had no chat history.
Truth. I generally have a few lines from the last conversation, whether it's been a couple days or a couple months or a couple years. I had nothing when she IMed me.
[23:23] Nxxxx Nxxxx: no i not so sure
Did she mean "Now I'm not so sure" or "No, I'm not so sure"? Do I care enough to ask? Probably not.
[23:23] Nxxxx Nxxxx: see you beeen around
I have no idea what "beeen" means here.
[23:24] Emilly Orr: Okay.
I'm beginning to think English is not her first language.
[23:25] Nxxxx Nxxxx: might have been fun
For which one of us? Because I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be me.
[23:25] Emilly Orr: Okay.
[23:26] Nxxxx Nxxxx: in our seamed stockings
[23:26] Emilly Orr: Sure.
Lady, just take the hint and take off. Also, did she just blow by the past where I said stockings and nylons are not my fetish? And that wrestling with someone who's determined to beat me up isn't either?
[23:26] Nxxxx Nxxxx: yea got any on now
[23:26] Emilly Orr: No.
[23:27] Nxxxx Nxxxx: any at all
[23:28] Emilly Orr: I am completely and utterly naked save for my anklet, my belly chain, and my collar. Is there anything else?
[23:28] Nxxxx Nxxxx: not any more
[23:28] Emilly Orr: Then good day.
I thought that would be the end of it, I honestly did. I was *this* close to abandoning all decorum and just screaming at her, then blocking her.
[23:28] Nxxxx Nxxxx: be nice ok
Why?
[23:29] Emilly Orr: I have been trying, but I am not about to let you beat me up, I'm not interested in nylons, and I have never heard of either of the stocking brands you mention, so I'm confused on what's left to discuss.
[23:30] Nxxxx Nxxxx: wht do you mean by cheating you up
[23:30] Emilly Orr: Beating. Beating me up. I don't wrestle, and I especially don't wrestle with someone who says she won't hold back.
[23:31] Nxxxx Nxxxx: ok ok
Are we done? Jesus Christ.

But that seemed to be the end of it; after that she stopped bugging me. Thank the gods. I logged out as soon as I could after that.

22 March, 2019

but I opened up my wound, now my force depends on you

This is amazing, and, even though many of the models are in bodysuits to imitate the paintings more perfectly, I'd say they'd still qualify as NSFW. (Some people apparently are being asked to join that site, so this site doesn't ask people to join, and also has another couple of shots of the artwork.

"If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you".

I wish I could track down who said this; I found it on a random profile, and wanted to find who said it, and Google search just shrugged.

It did find me some other good quotes, though.

"The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What's left of kisses? Wounds, however, leave scars."
~Bertolt Brecht


"You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them."
~Iyanla Vanzant, from Yesterday, I Cried


"Some memories never heal. Rather than fading with the passage of time, those memories become the only things that are left behind when all else is abraded. The world darkens, like electric bulbs going out one by one. I am aware that I am not a safe person."
~Han Kang, from Human Acts


"Hold her a little tighter, she's an introvert, she needs strength to open her wounds."
~Nitya Prakash


"We have to outgrow history. History is what keeps all the old wounds and grievances alive."
<~Marty Rubin


"She couldn't believe she had told him. Now she would forever be a broken pot in his eyes. And yet, speaking those words last night had been like digging shrapnel out of her flesh. She was sore, but the piercing weight of the deeply lodged shards was gone. The relief was indescribable."
~Sonali Dev, from A Change of Heart


"Every person is driven to self-deceive, simply to get out of the discomfort of the truth. The best relationships are with people who will not let you be blind. They reveal your hidden strengths and your concealed wounds."
~Vironika Tugaleva


"She wondered which wounds went deeper: the jagged wounds of reality, or the profound invisible bruises of the imagination?"
~Vita Sackville-West


"There's some wounds that run too deep to be seen. They're the most dangerous."
~Moira Young, from Rebel Heart


"Nothing supernatural has ever harmed me. My wounds and losses have all be at the hands of human beings..."
Dean Koontz, from Brother Odd


"If you keep picking at that scab on your heart, it won't heal."
~Antonia Perdu


"Stop holding on to the broken pieces of that mirror even after you are bleeding so badly, I agree that the reflections you had imagined or saw once before were beautiful but sometimes holding on to them with a hope will just continue to hurt you even more and it will never get any better."
~Akshay Vasu


"Art is the magical act of one bleeding heart healing another."
~Akash Mandal



~Akshay Vasu, from The Abandoned Paradise: Unraveling the beauty of untouched thoughts and dreams


"We're not getting out of this unscathed. You play with blades, somebody's gonna get cut. Sometimes, everybody bleeds."
~Bunn Cullen


"In the middle of the night, I saw chaos bleeding out of darkness and peace. Everything that was said and seen before seemed like a paradox. I saw the graves of lies breaking open and the truth crawling out silently into the cold hearts."
~Akshay Vasu


Obviously I need to track down Akshay Vasu.

"Writing has always been therapy for me. When life cuts me, I bleed on paper."
~Steve Maraboli

This has been a life motto for some time.

20 March, 2019

must we starve on crumbs from long ago through bars these men made steel

Random profile reading brought me this:
"A diva, a goddess, an insomniac and a nymphomaniac. A lovable person and an occasional bitch. These are who I am. I will not judge you for your lifestyle choices. I respect your choices, I ask the same of you. If you can not show mutual respect and be a"
And I had to check this. I mean, first, sure, someone who describes themselves as a diva, a goddess, an insomniac and a nymphomaniac, I think it's a fairly safe bet they're an egotistical, overly-emotional drama magnet.

But it was how this cut off.

So I checked it out in my own profile. Copied what was there into a notecard, copied the text above into the box, and yeah, there's no more room for characters after those sentences. But it's kind of like Twitter--if it's too long for your FL bio, put it in your SL bio. Then revise what you've said in the FL bio.

I always thought the character count for the FL bio section was 250 characters, but the above comes out to 253, which seems odd. Why not 250 or 255? Why 253?

Anyway, I found it odd.

In other news, a couple new charities on the sidebar, both relating to the devastation of Cyclone Idai. As with all the others, give if you can, every bit will help.

Humanity and Inclusion (that's the main link, the sidebar logo is specifically for the Mozambique campaign) is a charity that largely concentrates on child education throughout Africa, but the sidebar link will tell you about their rescue efforts for victims of the cyclone. And JAM International operates throughout Africa with social, economic and educational support, but are also trying to support victims of the cyclone.

there's nothing but chains around me

Allll right then. Let's talk about (hopefully) this year's haunt, Neon Ascendance. (Which needs a better name.) So the first hic...