Tuesday, May 1, 2007

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches...

Funny thing. Went searching for a new AO, new contacts for another project, potential furnishings for Taiyou, went through some attire, did the first half of a photo shoot with my artist (me standing mostly bare, wearing ammo belts), scrolled through some of my vast repertory of costume changes...

...always came back to him. Standing, breathing, pressing close, swaying back and forth. Kissing softly, kissing with more intensity, hands in motion, but just for the feel...bare palms over cloth, not skin. Standing. Talking in low voices. On everything and nothing.

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Busy morning. Kept getting thrown into limbo. Kept crawling back in. And the first thing, ever done, every time I returned, was to start that lovely line of mental communication again, back and forth, across the kilometers of the vast grid, linked to each other by will and intent.

Kissing. Caressing. Talking. Smiling. Finding joy and contentment and peace in each other. Enticing each other, arousing each other, but...gentle, soft, and ebbing and flowing. Like communication, on another channel. Signal somehow more direct, more pure, without words to interfere.

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I only snapped one pic from the art show, at the gallery. Didn't post it the night of, I admit to having other things on my mind. But here it is now, and keep in mind the angle was more for me to get the dancers--Miss Elytis, Miss Qlippothic, Miss Unknown, myself, Miss Calamari off in the corner, I think--and the muses all in one shot.

It's still an incredible show. Coming up at the gallery: "Glamour Cats" (that should be fun, mid-May) and at some point after, "Volatile"--for which I was wearing the ammo belts, above. Next part of my shoot: Big damn guns. I can't wait.

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In the meantime...yes, maybe addicted is the word. I'm becoming rather addicted to the statue come to life. Normally, it goes: interest, flirtation, intensity, argument, separation...it's not only my pattern, but it always seems to involve me, so...

But in this case? In his case? We sort of jumped from interest to intensity, to addiction, and...somewhat adoration, and...I trust him. I trust him deeply.

Two weeks? That we've known each other. Maybe. Two weeks from "intriguing fellow" to "can't stop kissing him". Two weeks from "Oh, you build?" to "If I don't see him today, I'll die".

...oh, not every day, we both lead busy lives, we're both polyamorous--for once! Someone who actually gets it!--and that always means other interests...I have a declared primary, I don't know if he does or not, and that's not the point. The point is...

...The point is, I'm there already. Not necessarily wanting to spend every waking moment with him, but a surprisingly large chunk of my time now, I'm thinking of him anyway.

So...infatuation? That will fade? It doesn't feel like it. I'm just hoping this isn't a depth charge for the relationships around this one...

(Lyrics taken from "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel)


Amber_Palowakski said...

Love your pics in this post and the last. I wish you Beltane blessings upon your romance! :)

Stiv Rych said...

Hahah! Em's gonna have to play with the very thing she is allergic to: guns. Well, hmm, not allergic so much as unskilled.
By the way, I challenge you to a duel.

emillyorr said...

The...what now?!?

My Lord Stiv, do be serious. It's not that I have any compunctions about killing you--especially as I've slain God twice now--but I don't fire guns. I don't really fire anything that does mouselook, really.

Baroness, thank you indeed. We'll see how it goes. Romance and affection do not do well around fire and explosion on the train-wreck, but...I live in hope.

Stiv Rych said...

Well, look. See, I challenged you to a duel. Its not really something that is taken back lightly. So if you see someone suspicious hiding around and peeking around corners, duck. Cause its not a duel so much as an assassination attempt.

emillyorr said...

God should not need to stoop to such low and base tactics.

Besides...do I need to remind you I have certain skills gained in certain royal torture chambers?