Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I only hope that I won't disappoint you when I'm down here on my knees

In between the many, many trips into limbo today, much happened. And since I have little to do today but sit in limbo and contemplate, I have time to think about everything.

First, I have to mention the struggle I had getting to the Millions of Us island--so much so that I missed the eleven ayem meet entirely, and all but twenty minutes of the second meet--I just could not teleport in, no matter how close I got to the location itself. It was beyond frustating. I did add something to the latter discussion, but as usual, I feel obscurely as if I've failed at something someone paid me for.

Eh, I'll get over it.

Next up, and more serious, the Red show at the Enigmatic Gallery. Now, don't get me wrong beforehand: I have heard great things, great things about Enigmatic, and apparently, the Blue show went over quite well. In fact, at the art show, I ran into someone I hadn't seen since the Through a Scanner Darkly premiere that the PPC paid me to peruse.

But they resized all of my artist's art. Without consulting her. And, though the turnout was great, few people bought, most just looked. (Whereas with her own gallery, people come to look, come to buy, come for the experience--they don't just wander in, hum, make a few comments, look at a few paintings, and wander out again. At The King Has Fallen, we have shows and there are DJs, dancers, interaction--a definite mood of art in progress, not art now sliced into examination slides and held static for perusal.) And, while the gallery owner turned out some highly interesting pieces, and of course my artist was attention-grabbing, everything on the third wall of the space reminded me of a cheap Jackson Pollack imitator.

One who couldn't afford the full color set.

So that was annoying....on the heels of that, though, I asked to be a Muse Noire. The difference between a Muse of the artists behind Two Spirit Publishing, and a Muse Noire, is Muse Noires go extreme.

Think I'm kidding? The artist for the next upcoming shoot invited me back that evening to impale myself on a saw blade, bleed out, and lay still so she could snap photographs. And then there was the nudity.

The concept, though...I love her eye for image. I couldn't help thinking of Izima Kaoru when I was lying there dealing with the discomfort of the saw blade. I'm fascinated as to what she'll come up with next. And I am looking forward to that show. Two weeks from now. I can't wait.

And on the heels of that...the shoot featured my doll form, and the doll forms of many other dark Muses. Why? Well, this is what I'm not sure of. According to my artist, the ageplay controversy on SL has kicked up another notch, and they're talking banning the sale of doll forms. Not the glossy 'Barbie doll' skins, natch....no, we're specifically referring to 'China doll' skins, porcelain dolls, clay, not plastic...

...like mine.

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I would adore knowing whether this is true or not; in the meantime, if it is, it seems I'm now at the forefront of a political/sociological debate. simply because I chose to simulate sexuality with my doll. And not only that, but...I'm staying away from the ageplay controversy, because I have friends in both camps, and the ones in the pro-ageplay camp are starting to stop talking to me when the subject comes up. But here's the thing--I have never, not once, intimated, alluded, hinted or implied that my dolly is anything other than a representation of an actual adult form (if small). She is petite, yes; but she has adult features, not childlike features, and I did not remove hips and breasts to satisfy some underage ideal. My doll is another form of ME; and I am an adult.

But put all that aside. Tonight, the statue comes to me, saying...it is not much, this thing, but he hopes I will treasure it, and he knows I get big gifts all the time, but...

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But. But?!? No self confidence! What you are seeing there is a buckle cuff with a heart charm hanging off. Inside the charm are several gears and struts, turning wheels and other paraphernalia. This was one afternoon's work. He's quite the amazement to me.

And the inscription...I'm swooning...he loves me. How could I not love the gifts of his heart?

Though it suddenly occurs to me...I am again thirded and in balance. Shelter with the darkened moon; token from the neko; reminder from the statue. Reinforcement, though it's little enough necessary--I am reminded with each breath, these days.

I will spend the day in limbo, thinking more, deciding more, waiting to return. I think when I get back I will hash out the nonworking vendor issue, and then take some few hours to retexture the outfits I have that will be easiest to retexture, and list a TON on Kartiny for potential sale. (I say potential because, amusingly enough, I've sold more in-world than off SLB.) And then...once and for all, pop out the garden pod, see how many prims it is, and leave it (or not) on top of the tree.

2 comments:

Qlippothic Projects said...

Impaled??

When I became asked to be a Muse Noir with the conditon of "no penetration" I meant..

Oh dear..

If that's what I'm to expect I better stock up on spare parts!

~Qli

emillyorr said...

You'd have to see the pics to understand. And remember, shifters? We can, if nothing else, take a lot of damage...

...but I doubt all shoots will be that extreme, and after that, it wasn't. And I have few body issues, anyway, standing around nude among a group of fellow Muses I knew, and certain gallery owners I didn't, didn't set off anything. It was just...we were shooting, we were in and out of pose, it was slightly cold due to the summoned snowstorm, but it didn't take that long. And everyone who came by who wasn't a Muse was very respectful of the art ongoing, or easily eaten by the security orb. :)