Monday, May 14, 2007

in the pines, in the pines, where the sun don't ever shine

It is the greatest tragedy to be hurt by one you love. For me, it is no less a significant tragedy to hurt one I love.

The darkened moon speaks to me in the cold of night, as I seclude myself away from all human contact, preferring mental communication only, and staying far away from the lands where life is lived and breathed and understood. He tells me, after my attempt at talking to the lad, my neko and I are now even. He tells me, all the hurt done to me, all the pain unleashed, all those simple unthinking words did when I heard them, and interpreted them in my own way...I have dealt back, by virtue of having him read the last post.

This was never, never my intention, and now I must pick up the scattered pieces, and move forward from here, and I'm not entirely sure how.

I've sent an apologetic missive from limbo; I hope it will be received with tolerance, if not understanding. Yes, he hurt me, this is undeniable. But no, it was not fair in return to expose him to all the raw pain in me. This...the darkened moon was right, this was an unconscionable act, and a great harm.

I only hope we can get through this...words unthinking do more harm than do the fiercest sharp edges on the precisely planned ones.

No comments: