Sunday, April 13, 2014

here we rest in peace, rubble beneath the feet

Bacon seems to come up a lot in Neverwinter's Zone chat. Not only bacon, though...

[Zone] Apy@apymhm: i dont like pork o-o
[Zone] Juicy Lucy@jasper1eye: but pork is the other white meat!
[Zone] Apy@apymhm: i actually hate bacon. lmfao
[Zone] Prolak Grey@Quetzaqoatl: baby, the other other white meat
[Zone] Apy@apymhm: mmm babies
[Zone] Aguila@rodanlewarx: baby back ribs
[Zone] Juicy Lucy@jasper1eye: what's easier to unload: a boxcar full of babies, or a boxcar full of bowling balls?
[Zone] Juicy Lucy@jasper1eye: A: Babies, cuz you can use a pitchfork.
[Zone] Sansa@thebaconsword: YOU HATE BACON? HOW CAN YOU HATE BACON? IT IS A SIGN THAT GOD IS REAL!
[Zone] Aguila@rodanlewarx: kill the infidel!
[Zone] Apy@apymhm: im agnostic. and i hate bacon. i suppose im screwed then
[Zone] Aelflaed MoonWarrior@magda1ena5: bacon, beer. ... the occasional tortilla chip or chocolate. life is perfect


....Oooookay.

But of course, where would a hearty bacon discussion be without rampant misogyny? This was captured several days later:

[Zone] Siduri@yuviel: "Wise Men" a mature (18+) English speaking guild, is recruiting adventurers with GS of 12k+ for PvE and PvP content.

Game terms: "GS" stands for "gear score"; in other words, your armor, amulets, weapons, are all rated with scores for how good they are at defending you and hurting others. This is because all the post-level 60, Epic-rated dungeons require between 10,000 and 15,000 for a gear score.

[Zone] lisa@pirate133: gs
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: gas station
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: gay $@)*


I'm going out on the proverbial limb here, and assuming he meant "sex", only because it's discussed later.

[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: gay ($^&#%@
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: turn off profanity filter silly
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: Funny how he's trying to be a badass with the profanity filter still on.
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: how o.O
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: options then go to chat
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: oh it must be in settings


Yup. Though some of us leave the profanity filters on anyway, just so we don't have to deal with all the Zone chat shenanigans on a daily basis.

[Zone] lisa@pirate133: it in chat settings
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: :D ok tx
[Zone] Nastyhabits@nastyhabits: looking for idris dungeon grp [Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: You're not 18 yet, you shouldn't do that.
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: but but im 24
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: im 28
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: Not you woman.
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: :\
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: Was talking to the gay %@!}$*#* guy.


So...how does "Censored Name" translate to gay male?

[Zone] lisa@pirate133: im not women

Wha...?

[Zone] swift@warraptor1824: ????
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: i jsut dont like way male orcs look lol


Ohhhh. Okay, I fully grant, I was misled by "Lisa", too, in assuming female character. Well, he's playing a female character, yes, but I tend to assume presentation equals gender online--if you don't want to be taken for female, then don't present as one, basically.

[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: you think he is a women because he said silly right :D me too :D
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: *woman
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: No, I thought he's a woman because his character is called Lisa.
[Zone] Jujj@roccut: lol
[Zone] Jr.Fenerbahcem@layner1453:
türk varmı
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: you shut your dirty elf mouth


Actually, that's not Elvish, that's Turkish. They're basically asking if anyone else speaks Turkish at present. I'd say the answer is no based on later responses...

[Zone] Pusherman@pushermanva: BOOZE FIGHTERS are accepting prospects! Must like BOOZE and WOMEN! pls msg! 
[Zone] Jujj@roccut: censored name, go back to the clinic
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: bad news for you, %90 of female chars are actually man
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: Make that 100%.


Because of course, in 2014, it's impossible to conceive of women actually being interested in playing MMOs.

[Zone] lisa@pirate133: lol
[Zone] Pusherman@pushermanva: lol
[Zone] beech@jwtrickster: 87% of statistics r made up on the spot
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: There's no such things as women in mmos. Just boys and boys pretending to be girls.
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: thats un even odd plety women playerss when it comes dnd


Wau, you're terrible at spelling. But that's also true--there are plenty of women gamers everywhere. There are women who play in Call of Duty and women who play Candy Crush; women who play casual games, war games, board games, card games...gender doesn't matter, only whether you're a gamer or not.

[Zone] Mithos Yggdrasill@titaniumtac: wait.... girls actually do play this game?
[Zone] Otto@throsbi: MMORPG %^#!~(+$#*@ Males Role Playing Girls
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: It's masturbating.
[Zone] Velius Urthadar@lysergicmikael: ....
[Zone] Otto@throsbi: just sayN
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: yes they do called nerdy girls
[Zone] Murasame Fsey@inubearyamato: i thought girls were a myth


Well, if you don't get out that much, maybe they are to you, Murasame.

[Zone] beech@jwtrickster: and yes girls play this game. real ones. without p3nises.
[Zone] Artemis@zamaje: i'm a gril


*facepalms*

[Zone] Jujj@roccut: such an ignorant comment " girls actually do play this game" and so on
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: I'm a gril too.
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: grill?
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: Yeah, grill.
[Zone] beech@jwtrickster: just one "l"
[Zone] Otto@throsbi: lol a real girl without a @@%@)........
[Zone] Thea Uthadar@EmillyOrr: True thing. Some of the female characters in this game are, shock and horror, played by actual women.
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: I ain't no bakon.
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: Bacon*


And bacon enters back into the equation. No idea why, though...

[Zone] Foam The PArkourious@sailfoamsf: yeah ofc who isnt a grill
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: When is the last time you guys had *)@?
[Zone] Lillith Deathbringer@rippaht666: gotta love pork :D
[Zone] beech@jwtrickster: i would say i know 5 girls who play but i think 2 r little boys


I'm trying not to twitch at "2 r", but...it's proving difficult.

[Zone] lisa@pirate133: haha
[Zone] Censored Name@mayonnaisex: ok, have you ever stalk a female char in game?


....What?

[Zone] Drogas@marduk6sic6: i know some that play like girls
[Zone] Pusherman@pushermanva: BOOZE FIGHTERS are accepting prospects! Must like BOOZE and WOMEN! pls msg!
[Zone] Lillith Deathbringer@rippaht666: bacon , on stake any way possible :D
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: i like booze and women
[Zone] Roux@Hollthulhu: I'm just a lonely string of code..
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: YOU GUYS STOP TALKING ABOUT BACON DAMMIT!
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: Fatties!


So, now we have bacon, misogyny, stalking references AND fat jokes. Joy.

[Zone] Madmedic@madmedic15401: Bacon? O.o
[Zone] Otto@throsbi: im a pixelated matrix
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: deer steak warped in hog bacon coverd in cheese sauce
[Zone] BANGABLE DEAN@inyancat513: i want bacon :D
[Zone] Claidi Robenai@skinnedb4death: Geez every MMO I go to is raving about bacon xD


So it's not just Neverwinter? Is that a good thing?

[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: &@^^))!!! guys, stop talking about baron for gods sake
[Zone] Aninian@ay4nem: bacon is amazing
[Zone] Bolvar Fordragon@lcecrowncitadel: &@^^ you all, now I'm hungry.
[Zone] Vauszan Quicktemper@u2o8: bacon wrapped with bacon
[Zone] Lillith Deathbringer@rippaht666: hellz yeah
[Zone] BANGABLE DEAN@inyancat513: someone give me bacon :o
[Zone] Suvan@Sayakra: Mott's Bacon Vodka Ceaser!


...Bacon Vodka what?? That one passed me by...

[Zone] BANGABLE DEAN@inyancat513: or a bacon bowl xD
[Zone] lisa@pirate133: we;; we should had dinner hour ago
[Zone] Otto@throsbi: bacon covered (!!)@*%


I don't even want to know what that was without the profanity filter.

[Zone] Valdyre@micknight2: bacon and peanut butter
[Zone] Kylie@jasperbrady: bacon is like women. it smells good, looks good, tastes good, and kills men.


And we're done here! I think that's about enough of this blathering.

In the meantime, the Jem and the Holograms movie has been cast--I can't say I'm looking forward to the film, but the casting looks decidedly interesting, multiracial, and unique. I'm now mildly anticipating the trailer.

And the third Hobbit film's name has been changed; it's now going to be called The Battle of Five Armies. It's descriptive enough, and since they've already gone off-book in this trilogy set, I'm not overly concerned; I'm just hoping the third film is more watchable than the second.

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