Tuesday, April 23, 2013

you're a tough little tadpole to love

This is the Face of Fear.

Wearing hair, also, utterly failed to help the Face of Fear.

To that end, though, TRUTH is having a hair sale, until May 3rd (which is why I linked the Face of Fear). Good luck getting in--the sim crashed at least twice just due to the total insane tonnage of women on the grid fighting to get in, the lag is unreal, frequently the sim next door maxes out just from people pressed against the invisible Wall of No, and just to add to all the joy, a lot of the avatars in there aren't actually buying anything, they're just camping. For reasons I do not have it in me to understand, but which are frustrating beyond all reason.

[15:19] Gxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxx: Pardon but as a public service announcement to the ladies I had a rather pushy noob bug me repeatedly with
[15:02] rxxxxxxx: hello
[15:03] rxxxxxxx: wanna make-out?
[15:19] Gxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxx: ask me that, so I sucked a passing kraken out of the skies of middlesea and hit him with it after he failed to get the message and set him north towards winterfell :)

This does seem to be a novel way to deal with unwanted amorous attentions.

[15:19] Gxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxx: you might want to avoid on sight if you don't have anything heavy to hit and eject him with as he seems quite blind
[15:20] Bxxx Gxxxxxxxxx: Thank you, Mr Xxxxxxxxxxx!
[15:22] Bxxx Pxxxxxxx: Were you in middlesea at the time?
[15:22] Emilly Orr is quite fond of your response, though.
[15:23] Dxxxxxxxxxxx Rxxxxxxx: I take it you did not want to make out?
[15:23] Gxxxx Bxxxxx: Say it with krakens. Always the best way.

Indeed. Tentacles really can't be misinterpreted as a friendly greeting if they shotput you across the sim.

(from the events album; chattering at the gathered New Babbageans...Babbage-ites?
Babbagelings?) at the Aether Salon.)

So...the Aether Salon happened! And I didn't die! Yay for not dying.

(from the events album; taking a few moments to relax and calm in Custard Developments)

Let me explain that, for benefit of people not me.

Starting with the loss of my last SL job, and dovetailing annoyingly neatly into the last SL relationship that vanished into disturbing ether, I've been pulling back from the grid. My friends know this better than anyone--apart from folks I talk with on the CaleCraft server, and occasional chatter in various groups (occasionally including ISC), I've talked to barely anyone I know in at least a year, if not more than. I won't say "crippling social anxiety" is the descriptive I'm going for, here, but I'm a self-made hermit at this point. Not only do I rarely leave my skybox, except to shop (much of which is done silently), but I rarely want to leave, for any reason. It's in large parts equal combinations of depression and simple grieving; some losses run deep. But it hasn't stopped me detaching so much from people who care for me, and whom I care for, that when I see them pop online, there are times I disconnect from the grid just on general principle. (Not because I'm trying to avoid anyone; more because I just don't want to pretend to be giddy and happy and well-adjusted if I'm not feeling those things on any given day.)

So...this was an opportunity in two very real senses: one, to share some of my views on steamwave with the community at large, and two, actually get out there and talk to people. Both were rather terrifying.

(from the events album; taking a few moments to relax and calm in Custard Developments)

But as you can read along in the transcript from the Salon, it didn't go at all badly. Behind the scenes, of course, I was terrified, I was nervous beyond all dreams, I was thoroughly convinced this would be a tragedy of epic Shakespearean proportions, and I was coming off of two weeks of intense stress, insomnia, and pain issues at home, so...to say I wasn't in the best mental or emotional state to take this on is, again, a nigh psychotic understatement.

But it went well. More to the point, because becoming a presenter meant joining the group, I discovered I'd actually like to make more of these things. They are a genial, affable, respectful crowd of Steamlanders, and I both thank them for attending my spate of babbling disguised as educated opinion, and of giving me really great questions to answer after. And according to the Baron, we managed a fairly decent turn-out during the SLRFL Steamlands pub crawl, so...I consider that a success as well.

All in all, I'm actually pleased with how it turned out, and I didn't expect to be, which was a rather refreshing change.

(Also, the last two pictures are from the upper reaches of the Custard Developments sim, above the Oroborus Clockwork Lounge. Do go see, it's a fascinating build.)

Bizarre conversation from a friend:

[6:30:08 PM] Axxxxxxxx Rxxxxx: just got a second "you're not a vampire, i've got the hud and it tells me so" conversation
[6:30:53 PM] Emilly Orr: ....
[6:30:55 PM] Emilly Orr facepalms
[6:31:07 PM] Emilly Orr: Yep. People still stupid on SL.
[6:31:15 PM] Axxxxxxxx Rxxxxx: yep
[6:31:39 PM] Axxxxxxxx Rxxxxx: guy's like "Oh, you're not? Would you like to be?"

Yeah, see, for anyone wondering why I posted that little excerpt? Because you can be a vampire without an inane HUD telling you you are. That's the freedom of roleplay--claim it, it's yours, play it right, people will play with you. They don't need HUDS and special blood-draining figures and bite protocols to actually be someone, they can just be that someone.

Personally, if you need a HUD to tell you what you are or aren't, you're deficient in imagination anyway. Live a little. Throw the HUD away. Find out what you want to be. I guarantee you it doesn't involve an over-scripted, over-programmed multi-level-marketing device.

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